Hola! Sorry for the time taken to update, I have been writing many many plays for my work at the moment. I have also found this chapter the most difficult to write, not really sure why! Writer's block has been a bit of a problem! Anyway, you have this nice long chapter to make up for it. Thank you once again for all the reviews, I'm so glad you're still enjoying the story. Apologies again for the wait. Hope you enjoy! :)
JJ sat in the hospital's waiting room with her head in her hands. The exhaustion of the last 14 hours was finally catching up with her. She was devastated when she saw the condition that Reid was in. But couldn't believe the team's luck when they had found him in such a short time period.
Not that it made much of a difference, what was done was done. And that fact could never be changed, however short a time Reid's ordeal had lasted.
Suddenly Garcia came running into the hospital. She went straight to a nurse in a complete panic.
"Spencer Reid! I'm looking for Spencer Reid! He was brought in with-"
"Garcia." JJ called to her frantic friend.
JJ couldn't hold back a slight smile at her friend's appearance. The bright colours of her turquoise pencil skirt, red shoes and orange top were a complete contrast to the dreary colours of the hospital. That wasn't even mentioning her make up or accessories.
"Oh JJ! Thank god." She rushed over to her friend and sat down next to her. It was now JJ noticed she'd been crying. "How is he? Where is he? What's happening?" JJ grabbed her hand.
"Penelope. Calm down. Take a couple of breaths." Garcia followed her command instantly. This type of thing was JJ's speciality. There was a reason why she'd held the position of Communications Liaison for so many years.
"Sorry." Garcia said quickly. "Is he okay?" JJ furrowed her brows, not quite knowing how to answer. 'Okay' was probably not the word she would have used to describe him.
"He's alive." She nodded. "He's in surgery now."
"Surgery?" Garcia's eyes opened wide again. "Why's he in surgery?"
"The doctor said he was stabbed in the leg." Garcia gasped. "They said it's just a simple procedure to clean and close the wound."
"Oh my god. My poor baby." Garcia turned sadly away from JJ. "How did he look?" She spoke quietly, clearly not sure whether she wanted to hear the answer.
JJ cleared her throat uncomfortably, she didn't feel happy discussing this with Garcia. She worried about how her friend would react.
"He... didn't look great." Garcia turned back, a tear running down her cheek.
"Why is it always Reid, JJ? I don't understand it. He's such a good person. He'd never hurt anyone. I just wish people would leave him alone."
"I know." JJ, her own eyes tearing up, put her arm around Garcia, bringing her best friend into a hug. "I know."
They sat like that for nearly half an hour. Garcia had her head resting on JJ's shoulder when she saw Hotch enter the hospital, followed by Rossi, then Morgan and Prentiss. They went straight to the desk.
"Guys!" Garcia called them over.
"Guys, Garcia and JJ." Morgan motioned them over to the two women.
"What's happening?" Hotch questioned in his usual serious tone.
"He's in surgery."
"Surgery?" Morgan asked. "Why?"
"He was stabbed in the leg, they have to close up the wound." JJ said simply. She didn't have the energy to keep going through the same emotional revelations.
Morgan dropped onto a chair opposite the two women.
"Have they said when he'll be out?" Hotch asked.
"No. They said it would be a short procedure though. But they are dealing with everything else too whilst he's out. His examination, stitches, everything."
"Good idea." Rossi nodded in approval.
"Has anyone been to speak with you since?" Prentiss asked.
"No." JJ replied. Clearly quite frustrated with the whole thing.
"I'll find a doctor." Hotch stood up and went to the desk. A few moments later, a doctor emerged and went straight over to the group.
"Spencer Reid?" The female doctor asked.
"Hotch." Rossi called over to draw the man's attention. Hotch noticing the doctor, quickly brought himself back to the group.
"Yes. What can you tell us?" Morgan asked the doctor.
"Can we go somewhere... more private." She said, looking around.
"Of course." Hotch answered.
"I'll take you into a relative's room." She motioned for the group to follow her and she lead them down the corridor to a small room. It had dusky pink walls and 3 grey couches. Morgan looked around, he thought he may have preferred the waiting room. "Please, have a seat."
They all followed the doctor's instruction, their hearts were in their mouths. Blood pumping around their bodies at a ridiculous rate.
"I'm Dr. Marston. I will be Spencer's doctor for the duration of his stay in hospital. I have been informed of the circumstances of his situation and of your involvement with his case. So I do have permission to share his medical details with you."
"I'm Agent Rossi, these are Agents Morgan, Prentiss and Jareau. Our boss Agent Hotchner and our analyst Garcia." They each nodded as they were introduced. The anxiety was written all over their faces.
"I can't pretend I'll remember all of your names." She smiled.
"Don't worry." Hotch quickly brushed her joke aside. "How is he? We need all the information you have."
"Okay." The doctor nodded, understanding the position they were in. "Well he had a deep stab wound to the back of his thigh. It narrowly missed his artery. The surgeon was able to repair the wound. He's currently on IV antibiotics to prevent the wound from getting infected." The doctor looked slightly nervous to continue with her assessment after watching the team's reactions. "I don't have to give you so much detail if you don't want?" She looked to each of them.
"No. We are not only his colleagues, but we are working his case. We have to have the details. All of them." Rossi said, his face tense.
"Okay, as you wish. But it doesn't make for pleasant listening I'm afraid." The doctor warned gently.
"That doesn't matter." Hotch answered quickly.
"Okay, well I'll start from the top and work my way down." She looked to her notes for some help. "He has had numerous blows to the head. Seemingly with blunt objects. He had a wound to the right side of his head, which almost certainly would have knocked him out. Concussion is likely, how severe, we won't know until he wakes. There was a cut above his eyebrow that required stitching. The bruising to his face is quite extensive." She paused for a moment, not wanting to give them too much information at once. "His cheekbone has also been fractured." The team all winced at the thought. Garcia grabbed JJ's hand and held it tightly. "There was also evidence of him being hit in the face with something glass. Some of the bigger shards had been removed, but there were still some smaller shards in the wounds. These have now been cleaned and stitched" Rossi nodded, remembering the glass he found on the floor.
"Oh my god." Garcia said in shock.
"Garcia, do you want to wait outside?" Morgan asked gently.
"No... no." She whispered, trying to convince herself. "I need to hear this."
"Shall I continue?" Dr. Marston asked. When Hotch nodded, she nodded back. "Moving downwards, he has some markings around his neck, a bit like you would see on someone who has been strangled. Possibly from a belt. There are also some finger marks. He also has ligature marks around both his ankles and his wrists." Morgan dropped his head into his hands. He knew he had definitely been attached to that bed. "He has also fractured three of his knuckles, two on his right hand, one on his left. The skin on his hands has also been bleeding badly. We have cleaned them up and obviously the antibiotics will reduce the chance of infection. He also has a cracked rib and the rest of his abdomen is very badly bruised. But generally none of these injuries give me cause for concern. However, he does have some cuts to his right forearm that are a cause for concern. It isn't so much the severity of these wounds as it is the nature."
"What do you mean?" JJ asked, tears running slowly down her face. She wiped them away as the team looked at her.
"The cuts spell out the word 'MINE'." Dr. Marston replied, slowly and gently.
"What?" JJ said in angry shock.
"Oh my god, oh my god." Garcia said in an upset panic. Morgan put his arm around her and she buried her head in his chest.
"How bad are they?" Hotch asked, keeping his emotions in check.
"They are quite deep. They will scar." Dr. Marston didn't want to lie to them. "But that's not my only concern." She continued, taking a breath. "There were also signs of... sexual assault."
At that moment, the atmosphere could have been cut with a knife. They all knew it was coming, but no one wanted to believe it. In a way, they had hoped that finding him so quickly would have spared him that trauma. Morgan dropped his head into his hands, he felt sick. All he wanted to do was kick the living daylights out of Jason Turner. Dr. Marston glanced around the room, taking in the reactions of the team, gauging when it might be an appropriate moment to continue speaking.
When Hotch finally took his hand away from his mouth, Dr. Marston felt able to speak again.
"I'm sure you will all understand, given this information, why my primary concern is not necessarily his physical health, more his mental health." Hotch nodded, brows deeply furrowed. "I have referred him to a Psychiatrist who, obviously, won't come to see him until his condition improves slightly, but his release from hospital will be subject to a psychological evaluation."
Dr. Marston sat for a few moments, allowing the team to take in all of this information. She then picked up Reid's file from the table to signal she had finished talking.
"When can we see him?" Prentiss spoke for the first time. She looked completely deflated. Dr. Marston smiled at her.
"He's just in the recovery room right now, so in about half an hour. He will be tired from the anaesthetic, but should be able to speak to you. But I don't recommend asking too many questions right now. I think a couple of people at a time is recommended, at least if you plan on staying for a while anyway." She waited and looked around the room as if to ask whether there were any further questions.
"Thank you." Hotch said politely, in his short business like tone.
Dr. Marston nodded and moved towards the door.
"You are welcome to stay in here whilst you wait for him. If you need anything, just ask one of the nurses." She opened the door and left.
The team sat in complete silence. Morgan was sat forwards, his head supported by his hands. Garcia was sat bolt upright in shock, the odd tear tracing a line down her face. Rossi and Hotch were seemingly entranced with the floor. Neither of them being the type for overly dramatic displays of emotion. JJ was sat back in the couch, elbow on the rest next to her, hand resting on her forehead. Her blue eyes shining bright with tears. Sat opposite, Emily was leaning back into the couch, her head resting backwards in a gesture of hopelessness. Unlike the other ladies in the room, she wasn't crying. However much she felt like it.
Suddenly Morgan sighed, filling the silence and bringing each of them out of their own thoughts. He rubbed his face, stressed.
"I wanna kill that guy." Morgan spoke, his voice dangerously low.
"Get in line." Rossi replied in a similar tone.
Normally Hotch would be jumping in, trying to get them to focus their minds on something more productive. But now, he merely nodded, feeling equally as angry.
"He scarred his arm." JJ said in something of a gasp. "He did that to him and then he scarred him." She sounded almost in a trance, speaking to no one in particular.
At this Garcia started crying again.
"This is all my fault." She wailed.
"No, Garcia. It's not." Morgan reassured her.
"I worked around him. I saw him everyday. I should have known!" Garcia ranted, deeply upset. "Even when you guys told me, I still didn't believe you."
"Yeah well let's not get started on who didn't believe what." Morgan answered, clearly guilt ridden himself. He paused for a few moments. "That place is gonna haunt my dreams for years."
JJ cleared her throat, not sure she wanted to ask this question, but feeling she owed it to Reid at least.
"What did you find in there?" JJ sheepishly looked to Morgan.
"I think that's best left 'til later." Rossi quickly intervened.
"No. I wanna know too." Garcia said, wiping the tears away. "If Reid can go through it, then- then the least we can do is understand it."
"But you're needlessly putting yourselves through it... you're just punishing yourselves." Rossi argued.
"Tell us." JJ said, calmly but firmly.
Rossi started hard at the two ladies for a moment. Then he nodded his head, knowing they were not going to back down.
"Well JJ, you at least saw it. It was dark, miserable. Cold." Rossi tried to miss the main facts.
"There was a double bed, at each corner there were chains. There were also straps to keep someone completely immobile. In the middle of the floor there was also a hole covered by a door. Gave him about a foot at his head and the sides and was only three feet deep. There was blood everywhere. Pretty much anyone's idea of hell... I'm going outside for a bit. Let me know if anything happens." Prentiss stood up quickly and left the room, leaving her other colleagues watching after her in stunned silence. Hotch and Rossi really wanted to mention the camera. They looked to each other, clearly making the decision between them to leave it until later.
"Straps? Oh my god." Garcia gasped. "I can't believe this."
"We have no evidence he used them." Rossi said positively, trying to recover some ground. He felt slightly frustrated with Prentiss for reeling off the facts so quickly.
"Oh come on Rossi. We profiled this guy as a control freak. That's what gets him off, and you think he's had all that power at his disposal and not used it? The less control Reid had over the situation, the more Ja- that bastard would have enjoyed it." Morgan argued.
"Okay, too much." Garcia warned. "I can't do this like you guys can. You're used to seeing stuff like this, I can't even hear about it. I mean, a hole too? What was he trying to do?"
"I don't know. I think somehow he must have known that Reid was afraid of the dark and small spaces." Garcia looked to Morgan, suddenly her face looked terrified.
"I told him that." She said in shock. The team stared at Garcia.
"What?" Morgan asked, even though he had heard her the first time.
"I told him that. I told him Reid was scared of the dark and didn't like enclosed spaces." Garcia said, her eyes staring at nothing in particular.
"What do you mean, you told him that? How does that come into everyday conversation?" Rossi asked, slightly annoyed.
"I know, I know!" She replied desperately, she knew she had messed up big time. "We were talking about fears one day and I was telling him that I hate spiders. He said that was a bit boring, so I said something like 'at least I'm not afraid of the dark'. And he asked why I said that. And I told him that Reid still is, but he couldn't tell anyone. Then I told him the lift story. Oh my god. All of this is my fault." Garcia said with a gasp. This time no one corrected her.
"Maybe when we got there he was trying to get him into the box." Morgan said, hopefully.
"No." Hotch cut in suddenly. "There was blood on the inside of the door and on the floor. He had been in there."
"I can't believe this." JJ put her head in her hands.
"I'm sorry guys." Garcia said softly.
"So you should be." JJ turned to her angrily, the team looked at her, shocked. "How stupid can you get Penelope? You gave out personal information to a sadistic psychopath!"
"How should I know that JJ? I'm not like you guys, I don't see danger everywhere I go. I try my best to believe that people are good. And nine times out of ten they are-"
"Yeah, well Jason wasn't!" JJ snapped.
"JJ, enough." Hotch ordered. The room fell into an empty silence again. This time Hotch found himself trying to fill it. "We need to be working together here." Prentiss opened the door to the room, she had been crying but clearly didn't want anyone to mention it. Noticing that Hotch was in the middle of talking, she sat herself down next to Rossi. He turned, smiled gently and put a hand on her knee. She appreciated the gesture. "None of us are blameless. We all could have done something..." Hotch paused, his mind obviously in a memory. "He begged me to believe that he wasn't going crazy. And I didn't listen. I sent him home. And that's something I will have to live with. But it doesn't mean I can't help him now. We all have to be strong and stick together." He looked at JJ in particular. "Blaming each other isn't going to help. He needs to see that we are being strong."
The rest of the team nodded. JJ looked sadly towards Garcia, suddenly feeling terrible for taking her own guilt out on her closest friend. She took Garcia's hand.
"I'm so sorry Penelope. It's not your fault. I'm just so angry right now. I didn't mean to take it out on you." She brought Garcia into a hug.
"That's okay." Garcia said softly, squeezing JJ's hand to reassure her that she wasn't angry.
"I think a round of coffees are in order." Rossi stated simply. "Come on, let's go to the cafeteria."
The team were all sat in the cafeteria, a cup of coffee each had seemed to perk them up a little. Even though they still felt exhausted, they at least didn't feel like they wanted to kill each other any more.
"So what happened when I was outside? When I came in with Lewis, Jason was bleeding. What happened?" JJ asked in a much calmer manner than she would have done half an hour before.
"Reid managed to get the gun off him. Jason got shot in the struggle." Hotch said simply.
" Nah Hotch, we can't lie about this." Morgan intervened. Hotch just sighed and shrugged his shoulders. They could know as long as he didn't have to answer all the questions. Sometimes being in charge was a large weight to carry. JJ and Garcia were looking between the pair, curiously. "Reid managed to get the gun off Jason. But instead of just taking it, he pushed the gun up to his own chin and shouted at Jason to shoot him."
"Oh my god. Why would he do that?" JJ gasped in shock.
"My guess is he wanted to know whether he would actually do it." Prentiss chipped in.
"And do you think he would?" Garcia questioned.
"No." Prentiss answered. "I think that's why Reid snapped."
Morgan nodded, looking at a confused Garcia and JJ, he explained further.
"When he realised Jason wasn't going to shoot him, he shoved him backwards keeping hold of the gun. He was gonna shoot him, right in the head. But Hotch stopped him."
"Only just." Rossi added.
"That's how he got the wound in his shoulder." Prentiss summarised.
"But why didn't he kill Reid? I don't get it. He had the chance." JJ said. "Or at least go for suicide by cop?"
"I don't think he was quite ready for us. I think we found him sooner than he anticipated. Our profile pointed to someone who would be ready for the stand off, but he was anything but. He was clearly in the middle of something when we arrived. And he hadn't had the time to get Reid under his control either. So he screwed up." Rossi suggested.
"He wouldn't have killed Reid in either situation, Dave." Hotch stated. "You heard him, 'you can't take him away from me'. Those aren't the words of someone who was going to dispose of somebody like that."
"Guys, can we please just stop profiling for two minutes. It's giving me a headache." Morgan said dramatically.
"Aww... poor baby." Garcia smiled at him, squeezing his cheek teasingly. For the first time since the whole drama began, the team shared a genuine moment of happiness as they all smiled at each other.
"Girl, you squeeze my cheek again, I might have to squeeze one of your cheeks, if you know what I'm sayin'." Morgan teased.
"Oh my, chocolate thunder, you have just made my month."
"Only a month?" Morgan looked mock hurt. It felt good to be normal for a short while.
Hotch was watching the pair with an absent smile, when he turned to see Dr. Marston approaching. He waved his hand at the rest of the team to signal her arrival. Suddenly, their faces dropped back into their sad expressions and they turned in the direction of the female doctor. Hotch stood to greet her.
"Agent Hotchner." He nodded, smiling a stiff smile. "Spencer is out of the recovery room now and has been admitted to a ward. Given his circumstances, we have placed him in a side room. You and your team are more than welcome to go and see him, but please don't press him with any questions. He is clearly very tired and quite distressed. He has asked for you already."
Hotch nodded. His stomach doing a little flip at the thought of seeing Reid. He was incredibly nervous, he knew he should be the one to set an example, but he was terrified that Reid would somehow not be the same.
"Will you take us to him?"
"Of course." Dr. Marston smiled.
He turned to the team and motioned for them to follow. They left the cafeteria and headed towards their friend.
Reid was sat up in a hospital bed. He still couldn't quite believe that he was out of that dreadful place. He was safe. But he still felt so unsafe.
Every person who looked at him, talked to him, touched him. Would they be like Jason? Trust was something he had always found hard to give and now he had very little to spare. He leaned his head back onto the pillow behind him, closing his eyes as the dull throb of a headache started to take hold.
He felt a lot cleaner now. They had obviously done a good job. He shuddered as he thought of what the medical staff must have seen.
He wanted to open his eyes but was finding it so hard. The trauma of the last... however long he had been missing was catching up with him. Pairing that with the anaesthetic, keeping his eyes open was near impossible. He soon found himself drifting off into a dream.
It was so dark. He was lay on his back. When he went to sit up, his face hit something hard. He was back in the coffin shaped hole.
Reid started shaking instantly. Calling out for someone, any one who could hear him.
"Jason?" He stroked at the wood in front of him. "Please Jason. Where are you?... Hotch? Morgan? Someone? Please! Get me out of here!"
He banged frantically on the wood. The door suddenly opened.
Weakly, Reid got himself to his feet. Jason was stood in front of him.
"Spence..." He whispered, moving up to Reid. Reid hit out at him, but his hit was weak. So he hit again, and again, and again. No matter how many times he tried, his hit had no force. Almost as if it was going through Jason.
Jason was suddenly pulling him towards the bed and pushing him down onto it. He tried to beg him not to, but his voice made no sound. Jason was all over him, kissing him on his face, neck, chest. His hands roamed everywhere. The more panicked Reid got, the faster his movements were. His arms suddenly wouldn't work for some inexplicable reason. He couldn't move them. Couldn't fight.
"You're mine Spence..."
"No." He mumbled in his tortured sleep. His eyes were moving quickly underneath the lids.
Hotch and the team had just arrived at his room in time to hear a whimper. They all rushed to his bedside.
"Is he okay?" JJ asked, panicked.
His face was starting to look tense and his brows twitched.
"Reid?" Hotch shook him gently.
Jason rolled him onto his front, it didn't matter what Reid did. Kicking, biting, rolling, nothing worked. Jason was still on top of him. Jason grabbed his wrists and pushed them up by his head as he continued to kiss every inch of his victim. Reid shuddered. He looked at the arm next to him, his own arm, it was bleeding heavily. Reid examined the wound, it said 'FILTH' in big capital letters.
"The things you do to me Spence... you're pure filth."
Reid was shaking his head now.
"No, no, no, no. Please." He muttered again in his sleep.
Morgan leaned in, taking his hand and slapping it.
"Reid, kid! Wake up!"
"Get off me, get off me." Reid's face screwed up almost in pain as he kept muttering. His hands were coming up to fight Morgan.
Morgan looked desperately to the rest of the team, really searching for permission to be a little more forceful. Hotch nodded.
Morgan grabbed Reid by the shoulders and shook him hard whilst calling his name. Suddenly Reid's eyes shot open and he took a shocked inhale of breath. For a few moments he didn't recognise Morgan and tried to fight him off.
"Kid... kid! It's alright. It's okay, it's okay!" Reid was breathing heavily. Suddenly realising it was Morgan who had hold of him, Reid relaxed back into his pillow, wiping the beads of sweat from his forehead. He looked slightly embarrassed. "You alright?" Morgan asked.
"Yeah." Reid breathed out and swallowed. "Just a bad dream." He closed his eyes for a few moments trying to steady his breathing.
"I'll go get some chairs." Prentiss nodded to Rossi who went with her.
Soon they were back and dealt out chairs to the rest of the team. They promptly shuffled around Reid's bedside and sat down. Morgan and JJ at either side closest to him.
"How you feeling?" JJ leaned in and put her hand on Reid's.
"Like I've been hit by a truck." Reid smiled slightly trying to lighten the mood.
"You look like it." Prentiss said in her usual mocking tone. JJ looked at her as if she had said something dreadful.
"Thanks." Reid mumbled sarcastically.
Hotch looked at his youngest team member, his face was badly bruised, his cheekbone swollen and almost black. He had stitches above his eyebrow and a split lip. He looked terrible. The dark circles around his eyes were a few shades darker than usual. His arm was bandaged from the elbow to the wrist and he dreaded to think what it looked like underneath. He was all of a sudden incredibly sad. He looked to the rest of his team who were clearly having the same thoughts. He watched them look Reid up and down, then frown.
This didn't go unnoticed by Reid. He shifted uncomfortably, moving his bandaged arm under the covers.
An awkward silence descended over the group. None of them really sure what to say.
"I'm really sorry, Reid." Garcia suddenly burst out. "I had no idea he was like that, I'm so so sorry." Reid shook his head, but she kept apologising. "If I had just thought about it for two minutes, if I'd noticed something, you wouldn't be here now and none of this would have happened and-"
"Garcia." Reid cut her off. "It's not important now. I'm okay." He felt incredibly uncomfortable with this.
"We're all sorry, Spence." JJ spoke squeezing his hand. But to her surprise he pulled it away, furrowing his brows.
"Don't call me that." He closed his eyes as if he was blocking something out.
JJ looked to the rest of the team, slightly hurt and confused.
"What?... Spence?" He flinched, almost like he'd been burned.
"Yeah, I don't like it." JJ looked at him concerned, she laughed defensively.
"It's never bothered you before. I've always called you Spence." She glanced around the room looking for support, but the others were staring hard at Reid.
"And I've always not liked it." He snapped back, staring her straight in the eyes.
JJ's eyes glistened with tears for a few moments until she blinked them away. She pulled her gaze away from Reid's, conceding.
"Fine." She sighed.
Reid then looked around the room at all the other eyes on him. Irritation flashed across his features.
"What?" He asked in a clipped tone. Rossi held his hands up.
"Nothing." He shook his head.
"Are you okay, kid?" Morgan sat forward, putting his hand on Reid's shoulder.
"I'm fine." Reid replied through gritted teeth.
"I know you're angry-"
"Angry? What about?" Reid interrupted quickly.
"We let you down, we didn't believe you." Morgan said gently.
"Oh yeah. No. I'm not angry." Reid replied. He was speaking quicker than usual in a muttered sort of tone. It reminded JJ of the avoidance he had when she tried to talk to him about Emily's 'death'.
"It's okay if you are, man."
"Oh no. No. The people I used to trust with my life believed in me so much that they thought I was going mad. No. I can't see there's anything that I could be angry about." Reid used a joyful tone to emphasise his point.
"So you are angry." Morgan summarised. The others noted the use of the words 'used to'. JJ dropped her head into her hands, sighing. Reid's hands were shaking.
"That's if you were just onlookers, of course." Then he suddenly went quiet.
The team exchanged concerned glances.
"What do you mean?" Rossi asked.
"Doesn't matter." He mumbled.
"It matters to us." Hotch said sternly.
"Maybe I'm the one who should be apologising for still being here. Would have solved a problem for you, right Hotch?" Reid had that look in his eyes that told Hotch he was up for an argument. This concerned him. The rest of the team were looking between the pair, curious about whether there was something they'd missed.
"I don't know what you're talking about Reid." Hotch kept his face and tone serious.
"Convenient." Reid quipped looking off to the side.
"Reid, if you have something to say, then come out and say it." Hotch ordered.
Uncertainty flickered in Reid's eyes for a few moments, then it was gone, replaced again by a hard challenging stare.
"I know about the memo Hotch." He looked knowingly into his boss' eyes. His reaction surprised him. He appeared genuinely confused.
"Memo?" Hotch asked. "Right?" He said, urging Reid to continue.
"About budget cuts and staff redundancies." When Hotch looked none the wiser, Reid continued. "I know you had to report back as to which staff you could do without. Funny that it was around the same time as my stuff started going missing and you all thought I was crazy." Reid seemed quite pleased with himself, as if he had solved some almighty riddle.
Hotch stared hard at Reid, trying to see any signs of doubt, but he saw none. Jason had really done a number on him. Garcia's mouth dropped open and she turned to Hotch for confirmation that it wasn't true.
"So you've seen this memo then." Hotch answered simply.
Reid furrowed his brows.
"No."
Hotch nodded thoughtfully.
"You came to this realisation by yourself then?"
Reid paused for a moment before answering then swallowed thickly.
"Yes."
"Right, of course." Hotch stared straight at him. "There is no such memo. There never has been. As a matter of fact, the BAU is getting more funding over the next year, not less."
Reid suddenly looked lost. It didn't make sense. Why would Jason say that to him? He was right, he had nothing to gain from it.
"No..." Reid said quietly.
"Listen to Hotch, Reid." Rossi said, trying to draw his attention.
"I have never and would never do that to you, or anyone else for that matter."
"No. He had no reason to lie. He already had everything he wanted." Reid muttered in confusion.
"Reid, come on! You're a profiler damn it." Rossi answer passionately. "Why do you think he would say that?"
"Jason was knocking down your defences, Reid." Hotch continued. "He didn't want you to trust anyone."
"Looks like he did a good job of that." JJ muttered angrily.
Reid's eyes darted between Rossi and Hotch. He knew it was the truth, in the back of his mind, he knew that Jason was lying. But the team had still let him down, and he was angry for that. Perhaps that was why he'd taken Jason's lie so easily too.
"You have every right to be angry Reid. Especially with me. I sent you home. I put you in that position. And if you want someone to be annoyed at, be annoyed with me. But don't punish the rest of the team." Hotch said, staring hard at Reid.
Reid's head dropped in response, his gaze moved down to his bed sheets.
"How long was I gone for?" He whispered, clearly trying to keep his emotions in check.
"Fourteen hours." Emily answered.
Reid's head shot up.
"Fourteen hours?" He looked horrified.
"Yeah... fourteen hours." Emily repeated, she looked at him in confusion.
"Fourteen hours." He said mostly to himself. He sounded completely exasperated. He then turned to Morgan. "So he didn't go into work then?"
"Into work, man, no! I'd have had his head on a stick if he had!" Reid's eyebrows twitched as he went over the various things Jason had said. Morgan looked around at everyone, they were all clearly as concerned about Reid's mental state as he was. He barely seemed to know what day it was. "We were only two hours behind- Reid, what is this?" Morgan cut himself off, noticing how troubled his younger colleague suddenly looked.
"He said he spoke to you. He went into work and you guys you... you weren't looking for me. You didn't know I was gone. I went to sleep, when I woke up he told me I'd slept through the night and he was just on his lunch break from work. He- he showed me his watch. It said 12.30."
The team exchanged sad sympathetic glances. Morgan's soft gaze met Reid's confused eyes.
"He lied Reid." He said softly.
"Fourteen hours?" Reid looked devastated. How could he feel so different after only fourteen hours.
Morgan glanced around at his colleagues.
"Could you give us a minute alone please?" Morgan asked them. Hotch noticed the slight apprehension that crossed Reid's face when Morgan had spoken. As did Morgan. He did feel slightly offended, but understood. "Baby girl, you stay in with us, please?" A small hint of relief flickered in Reid's eyes. Morgan had never thought he would ever have to keep a woman in the same room as him and Reid just so his friend could feel safe. The thought deeply unsettled and upset him.
Understanding Morgan's motives, Hotch nodded, standing up. The rest of the team followed his lead.
"I'll come back and see you later, Reid." Prentiss smiled as she left the room. Rossi just nodded. JJ was too upset to say anything, she clearly just wanted to get outside the room and cry. Hotch turned just before he left the room.
"Don't keep him awake too long." He ordered to Morgan and Garcia. They both nodded. Then he looked to Reid. "Good to have you back."
Reid gave a sheepish smile, feeling like a naughty school child. Hotch turned and left, closing the door behind him.
Morgan took a deep breath, Reid was watching him with a guarded expression. Morgan eventually sat himself forward and looked Reid square in the eyes, in return he looked away.
"Reid. Look at me." Morgan said gently, but firmly.
Reid didn't respond. Morgan tried again.
"Reid." When Reid refused to look up, Morgan reached over to gently grab his chin and turn his head. As he did so, Reid's yanked his head out of Morgan's reach and violently hit at his hand.
"Don't!" Reid warned.
Garcia's mouth dropped open at seeing Reid so openly aggressive.
"Sorry man, my bad." Morgan held his hands up, shaking his head at Garcia to tell her not to worry. Morgan shook his hand dispelling the pain from where he had been struck. He had never realised how much power Reid could put behind a hit before.
He suddenly noticed tears gathering in Reid's eyes. Morgan took another deep breath.
"Kid," Reid still didn't look at either of them. "We know what he did to you." Reid's head dropped and he closed his eyes. Garcia's eyes were now starting to cloud with tears. "I'm so sorry." Reid inhaled a deep breath, desperately trying to keep his emotions under control. "I just wanna let you know that what happened... it isn't your fault. I know you are feeling confused and hurt right now, but believe me when I say, I know what you're going through." Reid let out the breath he hadn't realised he had been holding and met Morgan's gaze. A tear running down his cheek. "And I'm here for you if you ever wanna talk." Morgan nodded at his younger colleague.
Morgan smiled softly at Reid, but was surprised to find Reid's gaze hardened.
"You know what I'm going through?" He spat out.
Morgan was taken a back and quickly found himself trying to recover ground.
"Yeah... you know why Reid. You know what I mean, man." He was suddenly feeling very uncomfortable doing this in front of Garcia. She kept her gaze down respectfully.
"No Morgan. No I don't. Tell me. Exactly how is it the same?" Morgan was speechless, he couldn't answer that. Garcia found herself glancing up, surprised at Reid's tone. "It's not is it! You were a small defenceless child, in a position where you couldn't fight for yourself. I'm a fully grown man. What's my excuse?" His voice was laced with venom. He hated himself.
Morgan furrowed his brows.
"Reid, don't talk like that. You didn't have a choice."
Reid's face twitched as various emotions were flying around his head.
"Look, thanks for trying, but I really don't need your help." Reid said simply.
"Reid-" Morgan tried but was cut off.
"Don't forget your jacket on the way out." Reid took his gaze away from Morgan and looked straight ahead.
Morgan was in slight shock, that had not gone the way he'd hoped. He knew Reid could be a hard person at times, but when he was like this, he was down right impossible. Knowing it would do neither of them any good to argue, he stood up, taking his jacket off the back of his chair.
"Right." He mumbled unsurely. He nodded to Garcia to stay, hoping she might have some more luck. "I'll see you later." He turned to Reid, hoping the young man would respond, but he didn't. His face was set hard like stone. Raising his eyebrows at Garcia, it was clear he didn't expect her to have much luck either. He walked to the door and left.
Garcia sat for a couple of minutes, waiting to see if Reid would tear his gaze away from the spot he seemed fixated on. He didn't. She looked sadly at him.
"Are you okay?" She asked carefully. He smiled a defensive smile, still not looking.
"I'm fine."
"You don't have to lie to me, Reid." Garcia smiled softly at him.
"I'm not lying." He answered quickly.
She looked at him for a few moments, contemplating her next words.
"You know, it's okay to be struggling with this."
"I'm not struggling, Garcia. I'm fine." He snapped.
"Yeah, you sound it." She snapped back, her voice softer than his. Reid huffed, like a child in a mood.
"I just want to be left alone." Reid wouldn't look at her.
"Well that's not my style. I didn't do it with Hotch, I won't do it with you." She said defiantly, with an edge of pride.
"This is nothing like Hotch." His voice was emotionless.
"No?" She asked, willing him to explain further. He finally turned to her.
"Hotch was in hospital for over a week. Hotch was stabbed, I wasn't. Hotch nearly died, I didn't. There are zero similarities." Reid reeled off the facts.
"Reid, it is totally similar!" She argued passionately. "You were still targeted by a psychopath with an obsession. You need support, same as Hotch did."
"For one thing, Garcia, his correct diagnosis as defined by the Third Edition Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders would be that of someone suffering from antisocial personality disorder, he's also a sexual sadist. Secondly, you are neither qualified nor experienced enough to accurately profile my behaviour or my needs, let alone truly judge exactly what did and did not happen to me and the event's similarities to another case. So if you are planning on telling me how I should feel and what I should do, I really recommend you gain some qualifications to do so, or just don't bother." He didn't look at her at all throughout the speech. His voice shook from time to time with frustration and reached higher pitches when he was feeling particularly stressed, but otherwise, his emotions were entirely closed off.
Garcia stared at him long and hard, deeply in shock. Water clouded her eyes slightly. Finally she found the courage to speak.
"You know what? I might not be a profiler, but I have been running a support group ever since I started this job. And I know what it looks like when someone needs help. You can't just run away from this!"
"I'm running no where." He interrupted, coldly.
"You're in denial." He said gently.
"No." He answered categorically, looking her straight in the eye, just daring her to say anything else. They stared each other down for a few moments. Penelope's gaze was searching Reid's eyes for some sort of acceptance. Finding none, she finally broke his gaze and sighed. She picked up her bag and stood to leave. When she reached the door, she turned back to face him.
"You know, Reid?" He looked. "You're right. This is nothing like Hotch..." She paused. "It's worse... And at some point, you've got to accept that." She smiled, almost as an after thought. Then she turned and left.
Reid was left sat staring at the wall.