Apologies for the delays with the upload! I have had so many scripts to write for work this week, whilst also working on this War and Peace-esque chapter! Then had some uploading issues! This was supposed to be on last night. Anyway, thank you so much for all of your reviews as usual! My particular favourite was 'why are you not on the CM writing team?' :D I cannot express how childishly happy that made me. Please keep reviewing, can't wait for my 100th review :) This is a long chapter, but I can't help feeling it's not moving very far so I hope you don't find it boring! The rollercoaster hasn't finished yet anyway, so future chapters will certainly be more eventful! Enjoy!
Hotch, Rossi, Morgan and Prentiss sat at the table, sipping on their hot coffees. They didn't really know what to say to each other. Each of them were lost in their own thoughts about how much they didn't want to watch the next tape. What they had seen already was bad enough. As much as it made them feel awful to admit it, watching someone they knew in those videos was ten times worse than watching some unknown victim. Everything Reid went through, they could imagine exactly what he was feeling. They knew him, and how he would react. And that made everything harder.
"You know it's gonna get a lot worse than that." Morgan warned.
No one answered. He didn't need to tell his colleagues that.
Hotch simply tipped his coffee mug up as he finished the rest of the stimulating drink and reached for the remote control.
"You don't have to stay Morgan." He advised.
Morgan shot Hotch a look. No words were needed. He was staying. As long as Hotch was staying, he was.
Both Prentiss and Rossi finished their coffees before the second tape was started. It somehow didn't feel right to be doing something so normal as drinking coffee whilst watching something so abnormal.
"Ready?" Hotch said to the team.
"No." Said Rossi. But Hotch understood his meaning. No amount of preparation could ever get someone ready to watch something so horrific.
Hotch nodded, then pressed play on the remote control. The tape kicked into action. Reid was still lay on the bed, stretched out between the two bedposts. But his breathing had calmed down significantly. They watched him staring around the room. For a second, they thought he made eye contact with the camera, but his gaze quickly turned away from it.
"He didn't know he was being filmed." Hotch commented.
After a silent ten minutes of footage, Hotch finally decided to 'fast forward' the tape. A good fifteen minutes later, Jason was finally seen emerging through the door.
"He's back." Prentiss said strongly. Encouraging Hotch to press play again.
"I've made your favourite. Ravioli."
"How thoughtful." Rossi commented in cold sarcasm.
They watched as Reid made the agreement to behave himself in order to have his wrist freed so he would be given the privilege of eating his dinner with some self-respect. They also noticed how Reid looked to the floor at something. They couldn't see what, as it was blocked by Jason's positioning, but whatever it was, Reid didn't look happy.
They continued watching Reid uncomfortably eating his dinner under the scrutiny of Jason.
"You need to keep your strength up." Jason said, licking his lips.
Morgan shuddered. They watched how Reid was put off his meal by the innuendo laden remark. They also watched how Jason sat for ten minutes staring at Reid after his meal, allowing Reid to feel tired enough to drift off slightly into sleep.
Jason then went to stand up and moved towards their young colleague, prodding him awake with his finger.
"Spence, wake up."
They watched Reid come around with a start. Jason spoke to him, telling him that he had done something nice for Reid, so he needed something nice from him in return.
Morgan started shaking his head.
Jason quickly overpowered Reid and rolled him onto his front, straddling him.
"Oh god no." Morgan breathed out, covering his eyes with his hand. "What's he doing?" He asked, wanting to know but completely unable to look.
"He's handcuffing him." Emily said bravely.
Morgan suddenly heard Reid's frantically panicked voice.
"Oh god, no, please. Please Jason. Please!"
"What the fuck is he doing?" Morgan asked angrily, still refusing to look.
This time, no one answered.
"Oh calm down." They heard Jason say. Hotch shook his head. Reid was not weak. If he wasn't calm then there was a good reason, and Jason was it. To tell him to calm down in that patronising manner, that really pissed Hotch off.
Morgan finally opened his eyes to see Reid's belt being pulled free from his trousers and being tightened around his neck.
"Come on" Jason said, pulling on the belt. As if he was talking to a dog.
Reid unsteadily brought himself to his feet, following the pull of the belt around his neck.
"He's got him like an animal." Rossi remarked, venom in his voice.
Jason stood directly in front of him.
"Get on your knees."
They watched as understanding dawned on the young profilers face and his panic set in again. Prentiss turned away from the screen as Jason tightened the belt and kicked the back of his weakened knee hard, sending him to the floor. When he reached for his zipper the rest of the group found themselves feeling incredibly uncomfortable, they half watched and half glanced away out of respect for their colleague.
"Please Jason, don't do this." Morgan shook his head, Reid should never have been in this position. He really felt for his younger colleague, who was clearly distraught.
They all turned back to the screen as they heard Reid trying to attack Jason. He clumsily dived towards the man, trying to knock him out of the way, but Jason easily dodged it allowing Reid to fall forward, catching him by the belt wrapped around his throat.
Reid was now coughing, catching his breath.
"Ouch." Rossi commented, wincing as he did so.
"Don't fight me, Spence. It'll do you no good." Jason spoke in a sickeningly soft voice. Almost caring.
"What the hell is he supposed to do, you sick fuck?" Morgan was looking irate again. They all knew what was coming.
Jason pulled Reid away from the bed like he was some sort of doll. Then he took out a piece of black cloth and wrapped it around Reid's eyes.
"Oh god." Morgan gasped, dropping his head into his hands.
Reid's struggling began afresh, still coughing.
"Jason! No!"
"Spencer, yes." Jason smiled then moved away from his prisoner.
"He's mocking him." Rossi pointed out angrily. He watched as Jason stood completely still, staring as Reid shook slightly, unsure of his surroundings.
"This is clearly a power thing." Observed Prentiss. Noting how excited Jason was getting as Reid shook before him.
"Jason?"... "Jason?" Reid called out into the unknown. They winced as Jason's hand went to his crotch. He was obviously completely aroused by the sight in front of him. He then starting walking around Reid, allowing him to hear his footsteps. "Jason – what are you doing?"
"I can't believe he's staying so calm." Morgan commented.
"He has no choice." Rossi replied.
They watched as Jason removed his belt and pulled down his trousers, . They turned away as his erection sprang forward, towards Reid's face. They quickly turned back when they heard a loud slap. It completely caught Reid by surprise and then Jason grabbed his head and pushed himself into Reid's mouth, pulling a knife out and placing it against his neck.
"Oh my god!" Prentiss exclaimed. Turning completely away from the television.
"Hotch, we can't watch this, man." Morgan said, covering his eyes.
"Oh god, Spence. Oh god." Jason's moaning could be heard over the sound of Reid's upset breathing and sickened gagging.
Hotch chanced a glance at the screen and wished he hadn't. He couldn't imagine how helpless Reid felt at that moment. It devastated him to know that his innocent young colleague had been made to feel so much like an object.
Hotch quickly picked up the remote and pressed 'fast forward'.
"Thank god." Morgan opened his eyes. Reid was still on the screen with Jason but they were moving much faster and it somehow made it slightly easier to watch. When Jason finally released the grip on Reid's head, Hotch pressed play.
Reid just sat there, the blindfold still covered his eyes. He was obviously in shock, trying to deal with what had just happened to him. Jason was tidying himself up. He then moved towards Reid, pulling off the blindfold and running his hand through Reid's hair.
Their colleague instantly vomited. Their eyes watched him sadly, as Jason asked if he felt better. Reid's gaze was looking straight ahead, his eyes had that far away look in them. It told the team that he was deeply distressed. Jason's hand stroked his hair again.
"Don't touch me." Reid said weakly, making no move to actually stop Jason.
"Don't hate me, Spence. I'm teaching you valuable lessons. You'll realise that one day." Came the reply. Jason knelt down, reaching around Reid unlocking his handcuffs. He told him to get some rest and left the room.
The team all sat silently watching their colleague. Desperate to give him some form of comfort. Morgan found himself trying to think what he had been doing at the time this was happening to Reid. Not that it really made much difference, but for some reason he couldn't help himself.
Reid sat staring ahead in a daze for a good five minutes. Then extremely shaky hands moved around, trying to help him to get up. He clearly couldn't find the energy. He looked terribly light headed. In the end, he shuffled himself backwards towards the bed. When he reached the side of it, he rested against it, bringing his knees up to his chest. He wrapped his arms around them and dropped his head onto his knees. His whole body trembled, but he didn't cry. He was clearly in shock.
Hotch stopped the tape.
"We need to find him." He said simply. The hatred burning in his eyes.
Morgan's head was in his hands. For once, he didn't comment.
"I don't know if I can watch any more of this guys." Prentiss held her hands up.
"We're taking a break, Emily. We'll come back to it in again in 20." Hotch nodded.
Morgan stared at the wall.
"How is Reid ever gonna get over this?" He asked, forlornly. The other agents exchanged concerned glances. "The kid doesn't trust people as it is. How is he gonna be able to come back and surround himself with this work after everything that's happened to him?" Morgan's gaze didn't move from the wall.
"He'll have to take it one step at a time... we all will." Rossi said, confident in Reid's ability to recover from just about anything. He hadn't written Reid off just yet.
Garcia knocked on the door, then peeked round to check if it was safe for her to come in.
"Come in Garcia." Hotch gestured to her. "Have you found anything yet?"
"No, not yet sir. But I'm still looking." She glanced around the room, everyone looked very disturbed and pale. "That bad, huh?" She said softly, sitting down next to Morgan taking his hand.
"You have no idea." Morgan shook his head, closing his eyes.
"Jayje has gone to the hospital. She didn't want him to be alone." Garcia said, squeezing Morgan's hand.
Rossi nodded, approving of the idea. Reid needed all the support he could get right now.
Silence over took the room. Garcia then looked to Prentiss who had been uncharacteristically quiet.
"You okay?" Garcia asked gently.
Prentiss sighed, shaking her head.
"I have watched some things in my time. Horrific things, things that you probably should never see in your lifetime. But that.. it's... it's Reid.You know? Reid..." She rubbed a hand down her face. "He just doesn't deserve that."
Garcia reached her hand across the table to her female friend. Prentiss took it and smiled.
Garcia sat comforting Morgan and Prentiss as Hotch and Rossi made another round of coffees. They didn't know why, but they seemed to help. It at least kept their exhausted minds on tick over.
They all sat, sipping at their mugs for the next fifteen minutes, saying very little. They didn't want to talk about the video, but felt disrespectful talking about anything else. So the odd comment about Hotch's coffee making skills and Rossi's addiction to sweetener was batted around, but generally they remained quiet until all mugs were pushed into the centre of the table. They were ready for round three.
"Garcia." Hotch looked to her, gesturing with the remote that he was going to start the tape.
"I'm staying, sir." She said unsurely.
The team looked at her surprised.
"No, Penelope." Morgan said taking her hand. "You don't wanna see this."
"No." She looked at him sternly. "But neither do any of you. And Reid didn't have a choice but to see this... I feel like I owe it to him, you know."
"Garcia, he wouldn't even want us watching this. If he knew..." Prentiss tried to convince her friend.
"I know! But I can't explain it. If I don't watch it, I feel like he will think that...that I'm repulsed by him." She pulled a face.
"That's not true." Rossi reassured her.
"I know." She conceded. "But I can't explain it. When I left the room, I felt like I'd abandoned him. At least if I understand even just a little part of what he went through, then maybe I can help him."
"No, Garcia." Morgan corrected her. "You're punishing yourself. Because you feel responsible." She looked her friend in the eyes, surprised at how accurately he'd judged her. "But you're not responsible, baby girl. The only person who is responsible is the bastard on those tapes."
Garcia gave him a small smile.
"Oh stud muffin." She said softly. "Tell that to yourself." He glanced at her and she smiled knowingly. She knew he was blaming himself too. "I appreciate you trying to protect me. But I've got to do this... I can always walk out the door... unlike Reid." She said sadly.
Morgan was going to say something again, but was cut off by Garcia raising her eyebrows at him. That signalled she did not want to be argued with. He closed his mouth sulkily. He knew this would kill her. Hotch didn't look too happy about it either. But he understood her motives, even if she would regret them.
He picked up the remote and pressed play again. Reid was on the floor sat curled up by the bed. He pressed 'fast forward' again, they watched him climb onto the bed at a high speed then Jason entered the room once Reid appeared to be asleep.
"He's back." Rossi pointed out. Morgan looked to Garcia, whose eyes were already looking nervous.
Hotch pressed play and they watched Jason tiptoe into the room and place a blanket over Reid. Standing over the young man. Jason watched him sleep. He stroked his face gently and pushed his hair behind his ear. When Reid stirred slightly, Jason pulled back watching. When Reid settled again, Jason bent down and gently kissed him on the neck, then moved up to his jawline, finally placing feather light kisses on his cheek. He breathed deeply, clearly feeling aroused. He brought his hand up to Reid's body and seemed like he was going to grab him out of his sleep. His fingers twitched as the thoughts crossed his mind. But he stopped himself, choosing instead to breathe in the young agent's scent. After almost ten minutes of just standing over Reid, watching him sleep, he finally left the room.
Prentiss looked around the room. They all wore the same expression. Sickened confusion.
"He seems almost like he cares." Rossi said with a frown.
"No he doesn't Rossi." Morgan countered quickly.
"But what's with the blanket and the soft stroking? That's the sort of behaviour you see when someone cares about someone else." Rossi questioned.
"He does not fucking care about Reid." He argued, getting slightly angry about his definition of 'cares'.
"I don't know. It could explain why he blindfolds him. Maybe he feels remorse." Prentiss intervened.
Morgan shook his head, not saying anything, knowing that if he did he would most likely lose a friend. So he remained quiet.
Hotch noticed this. He immediately picked up the remote and pressed 'fast forward' again. The rest of the tape was just Reid sleeping, so he picked up the third one and inserted it into the video player.
Again, the tape began with Reid on the bed, under the blanket.
"At least he allowed him to sleep." Rossi said, trying to find some positives in the situation at least.
Morgan shot him another look. He was really feeling irritated by Rossi and his stupid remarks.
Finally they saw Reid stir out of his sleep. Hotch pressed play again.
They watched Reid sit up and look at the blanket, clearly surprised to find himself covered up. He sat cross-legged on the bed and went deep into his thoughts. It was an expression that they saw regularly whilst working with Reid. It was clear he was trying to figure things out, most likely profile Jason. They were all glad to see that he was still relatively focused, despite what he had just been through. However much his hands still shook.
Reid turned to the door suddenly and Jason entered carrying a tray of breakfast.
"How long is the gap between these videos? How is it breakfast already?" Prentiss said, confused.
"He made Reid think that he was there longer than he actually was." Morgan said simply. Prentiss just nodded in return, sensing that Morgan wasn't in the mood to be questioned. She shot a look to Hotch who returned it slightly.
"Morning sleepy head!" Morgan rolled his eyes at Jason's happy tone, feeling highly irritated when Jason ruffled Reid's hair.
Garcia was already pulling a face, and she didn't even know what had happened so far.
"You're not still angry about last night, are you? Do you wanna talk about it?"
"Patronising bastard." Prentiss remarked.
They all noticed how Reid couldn't look at Jason.
"No." It was barely stronger than a whisper.
Garcia's face crumpled when she heard how week Reid's voice was. What had been done to him?
They watched as Jason explained to Reid how he thought he might be hungry and looked slightly taken a back when Reid wasn't grateful. But it was when Jason called him Spence, Reid looked irritated.
"Don't call me that."
"I like Spence. It's cute." Jason smiled, clearly trying to irritate his victim.
"That's JJ name for him." Garcia said, looking around the team as if there was something they could do about it.
They watched Jason calmly walk his way over to the bed. Reid rubbed his hand down his face, feeling stressed, ultimately missing the movement Jason was making towards him.
Jason's hand was suddenly tangled in Reid's hair and their young colleagues head was slammed violently into the bed post.
"Oh my god!" Garcia jumped, wincing.
Reid couldn't help but cry out with the force of the hit.
"Don't you dare fucking tell me what I can and can't do!"
"I'm sorry!" The desperation in Reid's voice brought tears to Garcia's eyes.
They continued to watch as Jason justified himself and Reid looked at him forlornly.
"I don't know what you expect me to do." His voice was weak and hopeless.
"He's giving up." Hotch said.
"No, he's not." Morgan retorted quickly. "For god's sake, Hotch. Give him some fuckin' credit!"
"Derek, quiet! You need to listen to this." Rossi shushed him. Morgan shot him a look, before realising what Jason was saying.
"I'm saving you! Saving you from the people that really hurt you!" Jason was speaking passionately. Now this was the sort of thing they needed to hear.
They all sat forward, listening intently to the conversation between the two. Desperately hoping that at some point, Jason would provide them with the information they need.
JJ walked down the corridor towards Reid's room. Her stomach did a little flip at the thought of seeing her colleague again. The last time she'd seen him, he had been incredibly annoyed with all of them. And judging by what she gathered from Morgan, not much had changed.
Suddenly, JJ collided with someone's shoulder.
"Ouch!" She said quickly. "Sorry!" She turned to find a man with long black hair and a thick beard looking back at her.
"Sorry ma'am, my fault." The man smiled and turned away, continuing his walk down the corridor. JJ cursed herself for being so clumsy. She really needed to focus more.
Finally she reached Reid's room. Two police officers were stood outside.
She nodded to them.
"Everything been okay?" She flashed her credentials at the officers.
"Yes ma'am. Nothing to worry about." One of the officers replied, smiling at her.
"Good. Thanks." JJ knocked on the door. When she received no reply, she pushed the door ajar. She was met with Reid's cold gaze. "Hey." She smiled, approaching the bedside, pulling a chair to where she wanted to sit. At first she had to do a double take. Reid's bruises were much darker now than they had been a few hours ago. He looked dreadful. He was partially sat up in bed, in his hospital gown, attached to two IVs and covered in bandages that were already starting to show signs of wear. Blood was already spotting around the bandage to his arm. The bruise on his cheek bone was now completely black too. It looked awfully unnatural on Reid's attractive and youthful face.
"Hey." Reid said quietly. Merely glancing up and then back to the bed covers.
"How are you?"
"Fine." He said with a slight smile and a nod of the head. "You?"
"Yeah, I'm okay." She smiled. "A bit tired but, what can you do?" She breathed out an uncomfortable laugh. Reid just pressed his lips together into a tight awkward smile then looked away. "So..." JJ said, automatically wishing she hadn't as she desperately tried to think of something suitable to say. "How are the staff?" Was that the best she could come up with? "I mean... like with you... are they nice?"
Reid furrowed his brows, looking at her like she was stupid. She shifted uncomfortably under his scrutinising gaze.
"Yeah." He answered simply.
"Yeah?" JJ questioned a little lost.
"Are they nice?... Yeah." Reid was seeming to be very impatient.
"Right." She nodded. She leaned forward carefully. "Spence..."
"Don't."
JJ's eyes flashed unsurely. "Don't what?" She was feeling quite irritated. "Don't call you Spence? I've called you that for years and I'm not going to let him ruin that." Her eyes were determined. Reid sighed. As irritable as he was feeling, he wasn't up for an argument. He just shrugged his shoulders. This bothered JJ. "You're not just going to let him win, are you?" Her eyes looked at him full of concern.
Reid turned to look at JJ, searching her eyes. Now he was the one who looked lost.
"Hasn't he won already?" He said in a small voice.
JJ's eyes started to water up and she grabbed at his hand.
"No, Spence." He still flinched at the name. "No, he hasn't! Because you're still here! He could have killed you. You still have your life! And surely that counts for something, right?"
"Well that's just it, JJ. He never was going to kill me. Or he would have done it when he had a gun pressed to my chin... Why didn't he?" Reid almost sounded disappointed.
"Spence, don't talk like that." Reid winced.
"Please, JJ. That name..." He closed his eyes. Her eyes flashed irritated for a moment, but then turned sad when she saw the effect it was having on Reid. His eyes were closed tightly and his breathing became deep. She shook her head in sadness.
"Okay." She conceded. "Reid it is."
He opened his eyes, turning to his close friend.
"Thank you." His big eyes were clouded with tears that he desperately tried to hide.
"You don't have to hide from me, Reid." JJ said, squeezing his hand. He pulled his hand back.
"I'm not." He said simply.
JJ sighed. So it was going to be like this again.
She rolled her eyes and looked to the television in the corner of the room.
"So... you get your own TV?"
Reid furrowed his brows at JJ and followed her gaze to the corner of the room.
"Oh yeah." He said, apparently not having noticed it before.
"Pass me the remote." JJ gestured across her friend to the table next to him. He leaned across to grab at it, then took a sharp intake of breath through his teeth, wincing as his punished ribs complained. JJ quickly put a hand on his shoulder, pushing him back into the pillow. "I'll get it." She stood, moving round to the other side of the bed, claiming the remote and then sitting back down where she started. Reid watched the whole time. Seemingly irritated at his lack of flexibility.
JJ looked at him and smiled, flicking on the TV.
"Please no soaps." Reid said under his breath.
"What do you take me for?" JJ joked. Automatically switching to a channel playing 'The Young and the Restless'.
Reid's looked to the TV, then rolled his head to JJ as if to say, 'really?'
She laughed at the expression on Reid's face. She couldn't resist.
"Don't worry! I hate soaps... well, most of the time." She flicked to a documentary channel. "Better?"
Reid turned back to the TV to see a documentary on volcanoes. His eyebrows twitched, there wasn't really much he didn't know about volcanoes. At least nothing that would be discussed on a television documentary.
Reid looked back to JJ, shrugging his shoulders. For once, he really wasn't bothered. When he turned away, she furrowed her brows. Reid would normally be sat forward, spouting all of this additional information. He didn't use television documentaries to learn things, he used them as a platform to teach other people. He was renowned for speaking throughout almost every documentary he had ever watched. But now he remained silent, his eyes barely even focused on the screen.
She just wanted to shake him, try to wake up the 'old Reid' inside of him. But she knew that wouldn't work. This was going to take time. Time she wasn't sure she had the patience to deal with.
Reid sat staring at the screen, but his mind wasn't on volcanoes. All he could think about was Jason. He could still feel his hands all over him. The sweat off his body, seeping through his clothes. The grip on his skin as Jason held him still and his fingers digging in as he repositioned him a second and third time. The helplessness as he tried in vain to move himself away from the man, only to be pulled back by relentless hands. The feeling of Jason's arm wrapped around his head, covering his mouth, effectively trapping his face. The delicate and passionate movement of the man's lips exploring, leaving a sloppy trail all over his body. A clouded voice suddenly broke through his thoughts. "Reid?" The voice sounded so far away, the thrum of the blood pumping around his body sounded so loud in his ears. He was lost in the motion of his body moving up and down as Jason thrust into him and the turning of his head to escape the unrelenting hand gripped around it. "REID!"
He jumped as the loud voice penetrated his thoughts and a hand grabbed onto his upper arm.
"Reid! Reid!" The hand left his arm then two hands suddenly wrapped around his face pulling it sideways. The panic seized his heart and he pulled desperately at the hands before his eyes came into focus. "It's me! It's me!" He gasped as his mind came back into the present and JJ stood in front of him gripping his face. Realising he had become lost in his memories again he panted as he regained his composure. JJ was surprised that he didn't push her off. He closed his eyes.
"Reid," She said firmly. "Look at me." He opened his dazed and confused eyes, then tried to pull himself free from her grip, but her hands followed him, careful not to hurt his cheekbone. "Reid." She said strongly. This time his eyes focused properly and he met her gaze. "Are you okay?" He furrowed his brows.
"What?" JJ removed her hands from his face and moved them to rest on his shoulders.
"I don't know what happened, I was talking to you and you didn't answer. You just kept staring." Reid seemed to be drifting off again. "Reid!"
Reid licked his lips, shaking his head.
"Sorry." He said softly. His face looking troubled.
"Are you okay?" JJ asked rubbing his shoulder. Reid nodded, his breath shaking.
"Yeah." He closed his eyes again and huffed out a breath. He couldn't believe this kept happening.
JJ pulled her chair closer to the bed and switched off the television. She sat down, waiting for Reid to open his eyes. When he finally did, she noticed how emotionally exhausted he looked. This seriously worried her.
"Reid, you know you can talk to me, right?... About anything." He simply nodded. Not even bothering to answer her properly. JJ sighed. "Not talking about it is only going to make things worse. Believe me. I know."
Reid raised his eyebrows and turned to JJ, a questioning look in his eyes.
"You do?" He appeared slightly concerned.
"Oh no! Not me, Spence." She winced at the name. "Sorry... my friend." Reid's lips tightened into a line. "When I was at school, I had a friend called Sandy. God, she was my best friend. We did everything together. She was more like a sister... but um, when we were 16, she was, um... raped at a party by some guy at our school. I was one of the only people who knew. And I was her best friend. But she wouldn't talk to me about it. And I tried and I tried to get her to talk to me, or her Mom, or someone... anyone who could help. And she wouldn't. She just kept on pretending that everything was normal and she was fine. To everyone else, she seemed okay. But I knew her.. and I knew she wasn't. But anyway, to cut a long story short, when it was her 17th birthday, ten months after it happened, I was going round to her house to give her a present. And there was an ambulance outside." JJ was clearly lost in her story, her eyes started to well up. Reid watched her through sad eyes. "She'd hanged herself from the at the top of the stairs. Her parents came in to find her like that." A tear ran down her face. "Her parents, they... they never got over it." She wiped another tear from her eye. "Neither have I... I always think, if she just would have spoken to someone, or if there was anything I could have done to be a better friend, to make her trust me as she should have done. I don't know."
Reid stared hard at JJ.
"You've never told me that before." He said, gently.
"There just never seemed to be the right moment, I suppose." She smiled slightly. "But you understand why I'm telling you now."
Reid pulled his gaze away from JJ's and looked to the bed covers, deep in thought.
"Yeah. I do." He nodded slowly.
"I don't want you going down that same path, Reid. She refused to let us help her. And in the end she killed herself."
"Well maybe she didn't feel anyone could help her." Reid said softly. "What if she was already dead? What if it was him that really killed her?"
"But it wasn't Reid. She killed herself." JJ said strongly.
"No, he killed her." Reid said, shaking his head. "Don't ever think like that JJ."
"I think like that because it was true, Reid. I found out two months later, he'd done it to another girl, two months before. The exact same thing. She wasn't dead. She didn't hang herself from the top of some stairs... She spoke to people. She got the help she needed to pull through it. The fact is, he had no control over her once she was away from him. So whatever either of them did after that, was their choice. Not his, not anyone else's. One chose to fight, the other chose to die. Because clearly those around Sandy weren't important enough for her to fight for."
"You're still angry." Reid pointed out matter of factly.
"Yes I'm still angry. Because it was needless!" JJ's eyes were watering with tears again. "He couldn't touch her again and still she let him win. Where is the sense in that?"
Reid's hand came up to rub at his eye in a stressed manner.
"It doesn't make sense, I suppose."
JJ glanced up at him now, seriously.
"No... it doesn't. Not when you've got people here, ready to help you."
Reid sighed. He glanced self-consciously at JJ then quickly pulled his gaze away again.
"I... I just don't feel safe." He said with a small smile. "It's not so much... him. I know he's gone, and he can't come near me again." JJ's stomach did a flip, should she tell him? "But... I just... I... You didn't believe me. Not one of you."
"Reid. It was difficult."
"I know. So you say. So all of you say. But I trusted you guys and not one of you was there when I needed you most. Even if you did think I was going crazy, which I admit, I was starting to wonder myself. Not one of you came round to see if I was okay... no one called after hours to see if I wanted to do anything. It was like you guys just thought it was some inevitable disease that I had developed and you just had to deal with it in the best way you could – by not making a big deal of it."
"Reid-"
"AND because of that, Jason managed to become the only person I could depend on. So I guess it serves me right really."
"Don't say that." JJ furrowed her brows.
"My mother always said, never trust anyone. You will only get hurt." Reid looked determined.
"Reid. Your mother is a paranoid schizophrenic, of course she's going to say that."
"Well I suppose I shouldn't trust my mother either, seeing as it's because of her that you guys all wrote me off as crazy so..." Reid's voice was in that slightly high pitched tone it enters when he is feeling stressed but trying to sound light hearted. His voice was tight and strained.
"Oh don't be ridiculous."
"Ridiculous? Ridiculous, JJ? Ridiculous is the fact that every time I trust someone it gets thrown back in my face! Ever since I was a little kid, I've trusted so called friends, who would turn up with the whole football team to see me get kicked from one end of the pitch to the other. So called friends who would promise to walk home with me, but then take a lift from someone only to leave me to get mugged. So called friends who've caused fights in bars and left me to deal with the consequences." JJ looked at Reid shocked. Reid's life sounded like a complete nightmare. "And I really thought in this job, at the BAU, I had found people I could truly rely on."
"You have!" JJ quickly interjected.
"But no!" Reid spat. "I didn't expect it from the others, but you – you've done it to me before haven't you? Lying to me for all those months about Emily. I should have known then, but again I was too stupid. I was taken in by fake sorries and thinking that you were genuinely there for me. I should never have trusted you again. I should never have trusted any of you in the first place."
"Spence!" JJ looked dreadfully hurt, her eyes watered. He was being particularly venomous.
"What did I say about that name, JJ?" He was getting into something of a panic again. He was throwing everything at everyone he possibly could to avoid talking about what had happened to him. JJ found it plain to see.
Her eyes opened wide though as Reid went to swing his legs out of bed.
"What are you doing?" She asked, standing up straight away and moving round to the other side of the bed to block his way.
"I'm getting out of here." He said simply, as if she was stupid.
"No, Reid. You have just had surgery. You can't walk on your leg." With a sharp intake of breath as his injured body pulsed in pain, Reid's feet finally reached the floor. Putting most of his weight through his right leg instead of his injured left leg he moved to stand up, wincing as his ribs, head and legs complained. "Reid, sit down now." JJ ordered, standing directly in front of him, only a few inches away.
"No." He said firmly. He found his balance, whilst he was slightly stooped, he was still stood of his own accord. Although JJ looked just about ready to push him backwards if need be. He levelled his gaze with her for a few moments. "Move."
"No way." She said standing her ground. She looked to the wall for the nurse call button, but it was on the other side of the bed. She chided herself for not pressing the button before going to stop him.
"JJ, move." He said in a stronger voice. She still didn't feel threatened. This was after all, Reid.
"Not a chance, Reid. Not until you sit down." She stared him right in the eye. Frustrated he stared back, then dropped his gaze, appearing to concede.
In return, JJ's stance visibly relaxed.
But suddenly, Reid tore the IVs out of the back of his hand.
"Spence! Oh my god."
Blood poured out of the young agent's hand. JJ had to move now. She raced round to the nurse call button. She then saw the emergency call. She made a split second decision to press the emergency buzzer. If this didn't qualify as an emergency, she didn't know what did.
Reid started limping his way towards the door, blood dripping all over the floor. The alarm was sounding from outside his room and JJ was stood back in his way holding his shoulders.
"Reid! Please!" She begged him desperately but he wasn't listening. "You're going to hurt yourself."
"JJ, I don't want to be here." He gently pushed at her trying to get her to move. His eyes were sad and pleading. He felt so on display at this hospital. Everyone checking in on him, sitting staring at him, analysing him, examining him. After having Jason crawling all over him and now this, he just needed some space.
Suddenly three nurses burst into the room and JJ quickly turned to them.
"He shouldn't be out of bed. He's trying to leave, I didn't know what else to do." She said exasperated.
"You did the right thing ma'am." A female nurse said, moving to turn off the emergency buzzer. She looked like she had the most authority.
The other two nurses, one of which was the miserable male nurse from earlier, moved towards Reid. JJ stepped out of the way.
"Spencer, you need to get back into bed." The male nurse said.
"No." Reid refused flatly, still advancing with small steps towards the door.
"Spencer-" The man tried again putting a hand on his shoulder.
Reid froze.
"Get off me." He said through gritted teeth. The man automatically removed his hand, cursing himself for not thinking about what he was doing.
"Reid!" JJ said shocked. "I'm really sorry." She quickly apologised on Reid's behalf.
"Spencer. Just stop for one minute. I need to talk to you." The authoritative nurse stepped forward. His eyes flashed up at her and then he tried to move again. "Just one minute." She tried again.
He closed his eyes and sighed.
"Fine."
"Get him a chair." The nurse said to the male nurse. He moved quickly. Then she turned to the young female nurse. "Get Dr. Marston." She practically whispered.
"I don't need it." Reid snapped as a chair was placed behind him.
"Come on, Spencer." The male nurse tried.
"Leave it." Said the authoritative nurse. "Spencer. I am Philippa. This here is Mark. We are looking after you today."
Reid looked at her impatiently. She could tell he was desperate to get away from everyone.
"When can I go?" He said pleadingly.
"Spencer, you know why you're in here, don't you?" She said softly.
Reid just rolled his eyes and breathed out an exasperated breath.
"I just don't want to be here."
The door then opened and Dr. Marston entered.
"What's going on here then?" She said cheerily.
Reid huffed at the sheer amount of people who were bothering him again. All he wanted to do was get away from everyone.
"He wants to go home." Philippa said.
"Right." Dr. Marston said. She turned to the two nurses and nodded her thanks as they left the room, leaving the doctor to deal with Reid. JJ stood quietly in the corner, nervous to interfere. "Why do you want to go home, Dr. Reid?"
"Does it matter?" He asked genuinely.
"Well, it does really. Because if there is something we can do for you here that can make you more comfortable then we can try to do that for you."
"There is nothing you can do." He said simply.
"So you just want to go?" She asked, brows furrowed slightly.
"Yes." His voice was uncharacteristically sharp.
"You do understand why you are here, don't you?" Reid looked at her like she had asked him the most ridiculous question in the world. She held her hands up. "I have to ask! You do understand?"
"Of course I do. I'm not stupid."
"And I'm not calling you stupid, doctor. But I have to make sure you fully understand the consequences of your actions, as I believe that early discharge from hospital is not in your best interests." Dr. Marston spoke calmly and fairly.
"I'm quite capable of taking care of my own interests, thank you." His expression matched that of when he snapped at Emily after the Tobias Hankel ordeal.
"Well, as a doctor. I believe it is in your best interests to stay in hospital for at least another 48 hours. And that is my professional opinion and recommendation. So if you are indeed, looking after your best interests then surely your decision would be to stay in hospital."
Reid smiled at her.
"Well then, I should be thankful that it is my decision to make." He moved to limp past her.
"We can detain you, if need be doctor." She said firmly, she really didn't want to play this card – but her patient clearly wasn't in the right mind.
JJ winced, this wasn't going to go well.
He looked at her, eyes wide.
"Detain me?" He challenged.
"If I believe you lack the mental capacity at this moment to make an informed choice regarding your medical condition, we can detain you for further assessment."
"I know the laws." He snapped. He was starting to look deflated. This was an argument he wasn't going to win.
"You are barely out of surgery, Dr. Reid. You have pulled out your intravenous injections, you are experiencing severe flashbacks, you are trying to walk on a leg that should be none weight baring for at least two days – and that's not to mention the high risk of infection to your wounds. The best place for you right now, is here. And you know that. Like you said, you're not stupid. Far from it in fact. So if you cannot understand this information and see what is best for you, then I can only assume that your mental state is preventing you from understanding your situation. In which case, I would have no choice but to detain you for your own welfare." She looked him dead in the eye and shrugged her shoulders. The choice was clearly up to him. Wasn't much of a choice to make.
Reid's eyes welled up with tears. He was truly trapped. He either could either stay, or be detained. He was sick of the control other people seemed to have over him.
Sighing heavily, he sat down into the chair behind him. Giving up his fight. The tension in the air instantly dissipated.
"Thank you." Dr. Marston said gently.
Reid didn't say anything. He was just staring at the floor. Dr. Marston glanced across to JJ, who nodded her thanks. The doctor then grabbed a chair and pulled it up opposite Reid.
"Dr. Reid." He wouldn't look up at her. "Dr. Reid." She tried again, more firmly this time. He responded with a sigh and then finally looked at her. "I would like to talk to you, if I may?"
Reid sat staring at the floor for quite a while. But he was coming to a realisation. All of this avoidance was doing him no good. He had just been spoken to in the same way that people spoke to his mother when she was institutionalised. He realised with sudden shock that he had been acting completely irrationally. What the hell had he been doing? He was a rational, logical person, who had just ripped two IVs out of his hand and walked on a leg that had just had surgery. He had pulled four people away from their work. Work they could have been doing with genuinely ill people. He had a sheer moment of clarity and he could see that if he was going to get over this, he was going to have to deal with it. Sooner rather than later. It had only been a few hours since he was found and he had already had the doctor rushing in twice. It had to stop, he needed some control. And his analytical brain realised that to gain control, he had to lose control. He had to let go of his emotions and allow people to see his vulnerability. The thought was utterly terrifying. But he knew he had to, or else he would destroy himself and everyone around him. Sometimes, being an expert psychologist really sucked.
He examined Dr. Marston's eyes for a few moments, seeing nothing but kindness, he nodded his head, agreeing to talk with her.
"Thank you." She said again. "Now it's quite personal. Would you prefer for us to talk in private?" She gestured to JJ in the corner of the room. Reid glanced over his shoulder, his eyes meeting with JJ's. She looked so unsure of him. He suddenly felt very guilty.
"No. She can stay." He gave her a small smile. Her face brightened immediately. His heart started beating fast at the thought of JJ seeing his weakness. But deep down, he trusted her. Deep down... somewhere. He wasn't quite sure where... but he knew he trusted her. He just needed to find it again.
"Okay. I would like to talk to you about what happened to you." He took a deep breath. "This is just intended as a quick chat. I am not a psychologist, nor do I claim to be a counsellor. So this will be brief, but I just want to discuss a few things with you." Reid nodded. She spoke very softly. "When we examined you, Dr. Reid. We found signs of sexual assault." He dropped his head. "I'm assuming this is correct." He nodded. "Okay." She said softly. "And is this why you want to leave here? Because you don't want to talk about it?"
Reid kept his head down for a few moments longer, then his shoulders started to shake as he began to cry again. He was exhausted with crying. But this was different. He finally let his barriers down and looked up to meet the doctor's concerned eyes. The look in her eyes suddenly made him break out into a sob and JJ automatically moved forward to comfort him. She put a hand on his shoulder and he sank further forwards putting his head into his hands as the painful sobs racked his body.
He spoke through the sobs, finding it hard to catch his breath for long enough.
"I... I... just... don't know... what to do..." JJ squeezed his shoulder.
"Is that what your flashbacks are about?" She asked gently.
Reid nodded.
"Yeah." He wiped his face with his forearm. He still sobbed. "I just... can't.. stop.."
"Stop what, Spencer?"
He took a deep breath, trying to steady his breathing.
"I can still feel him." His voice no more than a whisper. "Everywhere." He was starting to hyperventilate slightly. "And when... I can't... feel him... he takes... my mind." He spoke between short fast breaths.
"Okay, Spencer. I want you to calm down. Take some deep breaths, can you do that for me?" He nodded frantically. "Just breathe in... and out... in... and out..." Reid followed the doctor's relaxing motions and he soon his breathing was back to a normal rate. JJ still had her hand on his shoulder, supportively.
"Spencer... would you like me to ask for all of your nurses to be female? Would that make you a little more comfortable?"
Reid thought for a few moments.
"Yes please." He answered, ashamed. Tears were still running down his face.
Dr. Marston then stood. Reid glanced up at her quickly.
"Where are you going?" He asked, almost disappointed.
"To sort that out for you." When Reid looked away, she made eye contact with JJ and gestured for her to come and sit in the chair where she had been. She'd cleverly set it up so that when Reid finally talked, he would be talking to a friend. Rather than a strange doctor. JJ moved round to sit in the chair and Dr. Marston left the room.
"What did he do to you, Reid?" JJ asked gently, it was half question, half statement of shock.
Reid's face suddenly crumpled again and he reached out to her desperately as his body once again dealt with the painful sobs. JJ quickly stood, pulling him into a tight hug, stroking his head. Her eyes were full of tears too. She had never heard him cry like this. Even when he thought that Emily had died, he still held back. But now, his whole body was practically shaking with sobs.
"I couldn't move JJ." He whimpered. More sobs racked his body. "I couldn't move... I tried to fight it..." he gasped, with a hitching sob. "But it just made things worse."
Tears then started pouring down JJ's face. Reid was like her younger brother. Seeing him like this tore her apart. How could someone does this to someone so gentle as Reid. She felt sick.
"I'm so sorry, Reid. I'm so sorry this happened to you." Her voice was upset. He wrapped his arms around her back as tight as he could.
JJ was surprised, Reid was never a one for physical contact, she thought now he would be even less so. But it was obvious that he desperately needed some comfort from somewhere. From someone who wasn't going to hurt him. She hugged him tightly until his sobbing settled down to small hiccuping gasps.
JJ rubbed his back and then released her grip around Reid, moving to sit down in front of him. She wiped at her eyes as she did so. Reid did the same.
"Sorry." Reid said softly.
"You have nothing to be sorry for." She replied.
"I was horrible to you." He said, glancing at her then away again. He always looked like he was about to be told off. That was one of the things that endeared him to JJ. But it was also something that wasn't normal and if she thought about it too much, it would always make her sad.
"No Reid. You weren't. You were right, I should have listened to you. We all should." She took his hand, careful not to hurt his knuckles. Reid didn't argue. Because deep down, he really did wish they had listened. "But I also know you. You don't want to talk about your feelings. You don't do feelings. And you lashing out was your way of not having to speak to me." Reid huffed out a slightly amused breath. Dropping his head into his hand. "I'll make a profiler yet, right?" She said with a small smile.
"What do you mean, yet?" He replied. "You've been doing it for years."
She looked at him slightly surprised, and slightly pleased.
"You think so?"
"Don't think we haven't noticed..." Reid said, reassuringly, giving her hand a squeeze.
She smiled fully now.
There was knock at the door. JJ looked to Reid for permission to invite the person outside in.
"Come in." He said strongly.
Dr. Marston entered the room with a tray. She had come back to re-insert his cannula for the IVs.
"Is everything alright?"
She looked between the two, they seemed much more at ease.
"Yeah." Reid said, his voice slightly raspy.
"Good." She smiled. "Now, can I please re site these IVs?"
Reid looked to the needles on the tray and swallowed. They looked huge.
"Erm... yes." He said nervously.
Dr. Marston raised an eyebrow at him.
"I didn't know you were scared of needles Reid!" JJ said, smiling at the doctor.
He licked his lips with uncertainty.
"I'm not... but they look far too big to go in my hand." His eyes were slightly wider than usual. Dr. Marston chuckled pulling out the medium sized needle.
"This coming from a man who has been shot in the knee." JJ rolled her eyes at Dr. Marston.
"Well, if you put it like that." The doctor smiled at Reid. "Anyway, Spencer, I will have to put this further up your arm. I can't put it in the same place and I would be reluctant to place it in your other hand due to your knuckles. The damage is more severe on that hand." Reid furrowed his brows and nodded, looking at his bandaged hands curiously. "Okay doctor?" She asked respectfully.
He nodded. Giving her his left arm. For the first time, he found himself wondering what his right arm looked like under all of those bandages.
Dr. Marston had soon placed the cannula in Reid's arm. Not without a slight wince from him to JJ. She smiled at him again. Glad to see he was actually interacting. This Reid was a million miles away from the Reid she had been sat with no more than half an hour before. It didn't mean he was miraculously better. But it at least gave her hope that he was still in there somewhere.
She couldn't wait to tell the team.
Morgan was staring at the screen, completely incensed. Now he understood exactly where Reid's trust issues had come from. They had just sat listening to Jason convincing Reid that the team had been trying to get rid of him. And he had a very convincing argument.
"He's so clever." Garcia gasped. "I can't believe how clever he is."
Reid was confronting Jason at this point in the video.
"So you made me think the team was making me crazy!"
"No, Spencer. NO!" They watched Jason grab hold of Reid's shoulders desperately. He genuinely looked like he meant it. That was what sickened them most. "I did not do that to you! I saw what was happening to you and I protected you. I took you away from it."
"It's almost like he actually believes it." Hotch commented.
"This isn't going to end well for Reid though." Rossi observed.
"And you used it against me!" Reid responded angrily.
"YES! Yes I did Spence, but only to save you. Do you not understand? I was saving you!"
"Oh my god Jason, shut up!" Garcia feeling more frustrated that she ever thought possible. She couldn't believe how calculated Jason was.
They watched as Reid shoved Jason back.
"NO! You are lying, you want me to turn against my team. I'm not stupid!"
"No, Reid. Don't anger him." Hotch said under his breath.
Jason then threw himself at Reid, pinning him down to the bed.
"Oh no." Garcia said, covering her eyes, looking through her fingers.
"Now listen! Do you trust me?" When Reid didn't answer, Jason grabbed him by the hair forcefully. "Do you fucking trust me?"
"NO!" Reid shouted.
"What the fuck is he doing?" Morgan banged his fist on the table, he was sick of seeing Jason mess with his best friend's mind.
"Will you ever trust me again?"
"No." Reid answered again.
"Then why the fuck would I lie about this? You tell me, you fucking genius. What exactly is it that I have to gain? You have just said you'll never trust me. I have you here, I know at some point your team will start looking for you, they will have to, but that barely concerns me. You can't go anywhere, it's not like you trusting your team actually affects your chances of getting out of here. I already have your team well and truly out of the fucking way! So what more could I possibly want?"
"He makes a good point. No wonder Reid was taken in." Prentiss said. "That seems like logic."
"You want me to have nothing to fight for."
"Yeah, well so does Reid." Morgan snapped at his colleague.
"Spence, I don't care whether you fight or not. To be honest, I find this whole new found strength thing rather arousing. So why the fuck would I wanna get rid of that?" Garcia turned away from the television as Jason leaned in a little closer. " The fact of the matter is, Spencer, I gain nothing out of lying about that. Nothing at all." Reid was clearly lost for words.
"You get to see me suffer."They knew he was clutching at straws.
"Oh Spence,"They watched as Jason pinned down Reid again. He then moved to kiss his neck, speaking between the kisses. "I find this... a much... more effective... means of doing that." The team all squirmed uncomfortably. Did he ever get a break?
"Oh god." Garcia said, forcing herself to watch and try to be strong. Although her eyes were tearing up.
"Get off me." Reid's desperate voice sounded so pleading compared to the strength it had only a few moments before. Sex was definitely Jason's weapon against Reid.
"Not a chance." They heard Jason say, he was still kissing spotted him licking too. When he did that, Reid really squirmed underneath him. "Don't you understand? I have all of the control here anyway, Spence. I just simply don't need any more."
They heard Reid whisper a simple reply of 'no'. It had no real commitment behind it. Jason had clearly made an impression.
"The question is...Spence." The lust in Jason's voice made them wince. He continued kissing up to his ear. "Is it actually your mind that's letting you down? Or is it the necessary budget cuts that each team is having to take?"
"This is what Reid mentioned at the hospital." Rossi pointed out.
"He didn't seriously believe it did he?" Garcia asked.
"Put anyone under that kind of stress and speak to them with the same sort of logic that Jason is using and I think you would find that most people would, yes." Rossi explained.
Garcia just furrowed her brows sadly. Tears were still tracing lines down her face.
They listened carefully as Jason described the FBI memo in detail. It all sounded very convincing. When Reid argued that he wasn't having a psychological breakdown. Jason once again implied that the team might just use his mother's medical background against him to put him forward as a necessary 'budget cut'. This time, Reid didn't argue back. He merely sat, staring.
Jason had been pounding away with these accusations about the team for near on an hour. Something obviously had to give. And Reid just couldn't fight it any more.
Morgan leaned across the table when Reid allowed Jason to sit down next to him and wrap an arm around his shoulders.
"What the hell you doing, kid?... Wake up."
But Reid realised his mistake too late, lost in a trance. Jason was then jumping on top of him again and Reid was hitting and kicking out, desperately trying to free himself. Jason finally pinned down his arms again and tangled their legs together.
"When are you going to learn? Fighting will do you no good, Spencer."
Garcia was watching through her fingers again. Suddenly, Reid flipped. After bucking, and hitting out violently. He had managed to punch Jason square in the nose.
The team's stomachs did a flip. Although, they were initially pleased that he had managed to punch Jason. They didn't see how this was going to end well.
When Reid threatened him again, he burst out laughing. The team exchanged sad glances. Did Jason really need to embarrass him anymore?
"Don't mock me." Reid said, unsteadily. "I'm serious."
"Oh Reid." Garcia said sadly at the weakness of his voice. He was anything but threatening.
Jason stalked his way over to his victim and Reid's fight visibly dissipated.
"You don't know what serious is." Jason suddenly lashed out at Reid, kicking him viciously in the stomach then punching him in the back of the head and on his back. He then booted him backwards towards the bed. He fell into the side of it with a pained moan.
"Oh my god, oh my god." Garcia grabbed Morgan's hand and squeezed hard.
"Now that is how you fight, you fucking child! Stand up!"
Rossi's hand came up to his beard and he watched his young colleague being grabbed around the collar and shouted at. His face was deeply troubled watching this footage. It made him more determined to find Jason. But mostly, it made him want to go and see Reid.
Reid got himself to his feet, one arm was wrapped around his ribs. He was looking unsurely at Jason.
"Now hit me."
"For god's sake." Prentiss said, running her hand down her face. Reid didn't have a chance.
"What?" Came the nervous reply.
"Hit me. Fucking hit me!"
They watched in disgust as Reid lunged for Jason, throwing a punch his way. His fist was caught easily, then twisted behind his back. Jason cruelly held it there for a long moment and Reid took a sharp breath through his teeth. Jason then viciously head butted him, sending him flying forward onto the floor.
"Get up." He said it twice before Reid found the energy to comply. "Try again."
Reid's eyes said it all. He was highly irritated with this game and his reaction showed it. He recklessly threw himself at Jason again, earning himself two hard punches to the chest. The team winced as Reid collapsed to the floor clutching his chest.
"Why is he doing this?" Garcia asked desperately, tears rolling down her face.
"'Cause he's a sick bastard." Morgan spat out. Squeezing Garcia's hand tight.
"Get up."
"Again?" Garcia said, exasperated. Reid's eyes pleaded with Jason but he was relentless. "Get up." Reid shook his head trying his best to avoid another injury. "Get the fuck up. Now."
They all knew that was a command Reid had to follow. It was said too dangerously for him to disobey. They watched Reid struggle to stand up straight.
"This is torture." Prentiss said, sickened.
"Try again." When Reid gently shook his head, eyes pleading. Jason merely told him 'again'. So Reid kicked out, barely even aiming for Jason. But the bigger man grabbed his leg violently twisting, flipping Reid over in the process.
Reid actually screamed. For the first time. He held onto his injured knee, breathing deeply trying to cope with the pain.
"That's the knee he was shot in." Hotch pointed out. "No wonder he screamed."
"Get up." Jason ordered again. When Reid didn't respond, he told him again.
The team's heart broke when his broken voice shouted out.
"I can't!"
Jason was then behind him, comforting him. One leg either side of his victim.
"This is not good." Hotch said.
"What do you mean?" Garcia asked.
"Ssshh... it's okay, Spence. I just hope you understand now"
The next second, handcuffs were produced and Reid was desperately trying to scramble away. But he was deftly pulled back to the bed and handcuffed to the side of it. He looked up at Jason and spoke. The words made the team feel even worse.
"Please just leave me alone, Jay. If you've ever cared about me, you wouldn't want to do this to me. Please." He was answered with a blindfold to the eyes.
"Oh god, not again." Morgan's head went to his hands.
They watched as Jason pulled Reid's head into a passionate upside down kiss. One hand was under his chin, the other started crawling down his body.
Garcia was barely watching now.
They watched in horror as Jason touched Reid for the first time and then deepened the kiss into a full on 'snog' when Reid gasped.
Reid started making little noises of protestation as Jason's hand was unbuttoning his trousers, then his hand slipped inside. Reid was begging again.
"No Jason, please."
"Oh Spencer. Don't be so shy." Jason was obviously loving this. His hand was now stroking Reid. Garcia had turned fully away.
"I'm still here for you, Reid." she said, tears pouring down her face. "But I just can't watch you."
"Nothing is going to help, Spence." Reid's body was obviously starting to respond to Jason's ministrations and Reid was feeling extremely embarrassed about it. "That's it Spence. That's it."Jason encouraged him, like some sick fantasy. As if it was all consensual.
"Please... stop."
"Why? When you're enjoying it so much." Reid was just about to bite his arm and Jason speeded up his strokes causing Reid's head to fall forwards.
"He's got complete control." Prentiss said, shaking her head. "He's using his own body against him."
Jason tried to pull Reid's head back, but he fought against it. Speeding up the strokes again, Reid couldn't cope and lost the control of his head and he was pulled into another passionate kiss.
"Oh my god, poor Reid." Prentiss said quietly.
The men were barely looking now. Seeing Reid so vulnerable was too hard. Garcia was crying with her head on the table and took the occasional glance at the television. But she had done well to stay in this far.
When he was released from the kiss, finally a sob broke free from his lips. The team looked at each other, brows furrowed. They'd never heard Reid cry before. Not like that.
Jason then speeded up his strokes which caused Reid's head to drop forward again, Reid started gasping and panting. The team all turned away, only glancing back when things seem to go quiet.
"He's taken his fuckin' blind fold off. He's got his face so he can watch his reactions."
The team took a quick glance to see Reid with his held pulled back at a 90 degree angle onto the lap of Jason. A hand was clamped around his forehead.
"Don't cry". Jason said, with strange kindness. It gave them all the creeps. Jason seriously speeded up the strokes and Reid was soon tensing up. He cried out as his body took control and Jason silenced his cry with a sickening kiss.
The team sat in shocked silence. The shame in Reid's face was horrific. Tears were in all of the profiler's eyes, Rossi and Hotch included. Jason automatically unhooked the handcuffs and pulled Reid up to standing.
"What's he doing now?" Garcia said, through a hitching cry.
Jason's hands explored Reid's body and then he was slammed on to the bed as Jason ignored his pleas once again. They struggled with each other, but eventually, Reid was chained to the four corners of the bed.
"Oh Spence. You're so selfish. Why do you deserve all the fun?"
"No, he can't be serious!" Morgan shouted at the video.
They all flinched as Jason went to unbutton his own pants. They all knew exactly what was coming. So did Reid, he squeezed his eyes shut, but Jason had other ideas.
"Ah, ah, ah. Oh no you don't. Eyes open Spence." The knife was, again, produced and at his throat. "Good."
"He's talking to him like he's a child." Rossi said, curiously.
"Open."
"No, no, no, no! I can't watch this too. He can't do this to my poor baby. Not my poor Reid." Garcia said, tears pouring down her face. Morgan took her into an embrace.
"Hey babygirl. Stay strong for him."
"Fucking open your mouth!" Jason screamed in Reid's face and he visibly flinched.
They were all hoping beyond hope that if Reid didn't obey, then Jason would lose interest. But they knew that wasn't going to happen.
"You're fucking pitiful!" Jason shouted. Going straight for Reid's mouth, he forced it open with the assistance of the knife.
Then the video stopped. They all turned to see Hotch with the remote in his hand and tears rolling down his face. They were shocked at this.
"I think it goes without saying that none of us need to see that." He wiped at his eyes self-consciously. "I have emotions you know." He said as he glanced around the room at his confused colleagues.
Morgan just nodded in understanding. They had just seen the kid of their team be abused, mentally, physically and sexually all for the sadistic pleasure of one man. It was so needless. That their colleague's life had been destroyed, just so one man could have the kind of sex he enjoyed. In a completely dominant position. Morgan could understand partly what it was like, after his experiences as a child, the feelings of shame and disgust were hugely familiar. But he couldn't understand that. What he had witnessed just then on that tape, would stay with him for a lifetime. To go from one thing with the mental deprecation, to the physical assault, to sexual assault, straight into another sexual assault. He just couldn't imagine what that would be like. His childhood experiences, whilst never enjoyable, they were never downright cruel or sadistic.
Garcia was still gripping tightly onto Morgan, crying into his shoulder.
"How could he do that do him, Morgan?... Why?" She wailed.
Prentiss was staring at the wall, trying to calm her nerves. She had become very protective over Reid. Just like the rest of the team. Her reactions in the hostage situation showed that. But now there was nothing she could do. And it felt shit.
For all of them.