Apologies for the long wait for this chapter. Unfortunately life got in the way somewhat! I also have this thing now that I have been writing ridiculously long chapters, I won't post anything less than 16 pages. This chapter is 18 pages. Whilst it makes me feel better about keeping you waiting so long, it's also a reason why you are kept waiting. Anyway! Thanks for your reviews, as usual. Apologies for putting Reid back in this situation, naughty me. This is a pretty intense chapter. The very emotional chapter however, might just be left til chapter 19 now as the story hasn't quite panned out the way I figured it would.
This chapter is pretty slow moving, particularly on the team front, but deals with a lot of the emotional issues and the relationships within the team so hopefully you will enjoy it anyway. Thank you for all of your reviews/lurking! Please keep it up :) I have a week off next week so hoping some get some real juicy chapters written, muhahahaha. ENJOY!
Garcia paced around the conference room, nervously awaiting a response from the team. They hadn't called to let her know what was happening, and this set her on edge. A knock at the door made her jump. Strauss stood in the doorway, a frown upon her face.
"Is there a problem?" She asked simply. Her brows furrowed seriously at the technical analyst in front of her. "Only you have been walking the length of this room and back again for the last twenty minutes and to be quite frank, it's making me dizzy." She said sharply.
Garcia sheepishly cleared her throat, Strauss always made her nervous. It didn't help that she was nervous already.
"Sorry, ma'am..." She was still pacing. Suddenly realising, she consciously stopped, nodding as she reprimanded herself. "I'm just waiting to hear from the team."
"Do you not have any work you should be doing?" Strauss asked, coldly.
Garcia took a sharp intake of breath. She didn't know whether she should mention the latest developments. Strauss was never going to take it well. Mentally preparing herself, she fumbled with her words for a few moments as Strauss eyed her impatiently.
Garcia almost jumped for joy as the team walked through the door, diverting Strauss' attention away from her. But any relief she felt was short lived when she saw their expressions. She felt the blood drain from her face.
"What's happened?" She said quickly, her face showing the panic her body surely felt.
Morgan banged his hand against the wall, making Garcia jump.
"Damn it!" He shouted in frustration, as if Garcia's question had reminded him of something he'd rather forget.
"Agent Morgan!" Strauss moved towards her subordinate but was stopped dead in her tracks by a warning look from Hotch. The look he gave her told her everything she needed to know. Something was terribly wrong.
"What happened?" Garcia asked again, her eyes filling up with tears of frustration.
"He's gone." Prentiss answered, looking Garcia straight in the eye. In response, Garcia gasped and let out a little sob.
"Who's gone?" Strauss asked, her eyes lacking the care that they really required in this moment.
"Reid!... Reid's gone, Erin." Rossi snapped. "Again!"
Strauss' eyes flashed angrily.
"What? What the hell do you mean, he's 'gone'?" She looked between the team members. JJ was sat down with her head in her hands, Prentiss was sat next to her. Her face was tired and depressed. Morgan was pacing the room like a caged animal. He was clearly waiting for someone to say the wrong thing. Rossi was trying to maintain a calm façade but his fidgety mannerisms gave him away. Hotch just stood, calmly meeting Strauss' gaze. But his hand covered his mouth, as it often did when he was stressed.
"Jason took him from the hospital." Hotch said, his gaze unflinching.
"No, no, no! This isn't happening!" Garcia said, grabbing her face with her hands in distress.
"What?" Strauss questioned furiously.
"No Hotch! I think what you mean, is Reid took himselffrom the hospital and handed himself to Jason." Morgan corrected him, the venom was clear in his voice. He was so angry with Reid at that moment.
"Only to protect you!" JJ countered, remembering how vicious Morgan had been at the hospital with her.
Morgan looked wounded for a few moments, but quickly recovered.
"Yeah, you're right JJ. This is all on me! 'Cause I bumped into the guy, looked him straight in the eye and let him walk off down the corridor, leaving him free to kidnap Reid again!" He spat. "That was all me!"
"How dare you." JJ said dangerously. "I was the one at the hospital taking care of him, making sure he stayed put and got the treatment he needed, whilst you were sat here pretending that you were watching him being assaulted out of some ridiculous form of loyalty!"
"Pretending?" Morgan hissed. "You think that's what I was doing?"
"Well I don't see how watching Reid's most personal and private moments of desperation and pain can be viewed as loyal!"
Morgan moved dangerously towards JJ, his whole body filled with tension. Garcia was pacing the room again in desperation, not comfortable with the argument that was rising. The rest of the team wanted to jump in, but they were both retorting so quickly that whenever anyone tried to cut in, they were automatically silenced.
Strauss just watched the team, curiously. They were clearly falling apart. And it genuinely concerned her.
"Don't even go there, JJ. Don't even bring loyalty into this! I'm not the one who lied to the team for months about a friend's death." Prentiss winced. She wondered when this stone would be over turned again. "Cried fake tears as we buried a fake body and shared fake grief with fake stories and fake thoughts. Don't even go there." He warned.
"What? As opposed to pretending that watching that film was to help Reid? You Morgan, you're his best friend, you shouldn't have been able to watch that. What did you get from it? Did it soothe your conscience? Make you feel like you'd done more?" JJ was practically screaming at Morgan now. She really didn't feel she deserved this.
"This is all your fault, JJ!" He shouted as he banged his fist hard on the table. "All your god damn fault! If you had just stayed in the fuckin' job you were in, instead of becoming some sort of 'rookie' profiler, messing around in things you don't understand maybe someone else would have been at that hospital instead. Someone who knew what they were looking for. Someone who knew what they were doing!"
"Morgan, THAT'S ENOUGH!" Hotch ordered, cutting completely through Morgan's rant. Morgan's eye flashed up at Hotch, the irritation evident. "Take a walk." Morgan shot him a warning look, shaking his head. He looked just about ready to take anyone's head off, given the chance. Hotch wasn't deterred. "Take a walk, NOW." Hotch's eyes weren't warning, they were promising. 'You disagree with me, and you won't work again'.
Relenting, Morgan finally sighed, his face still angry and tense. But resigned to the fact that this wasn't an argument he would win. He turned on his heel and left the room, slamming the door behind him.
The silent tension that JJ had held in her body as Morgan was reprimanded, suddenly broke down, as did she. Tears started coming afresh as she shook and wept as the harshness of his words set in. Prentiss wrapped a supportive arm around her shoulders and pulled her into a comforting hug.
"He didn't mean it." Prentiss said reassuringly. "Any more than you meant what you said." She rubbed her friend's back soothingly.
Strauss looked around the room, completely frustrated with the whole situation. She had never been in a more unprofessional environment in all her life.
"Aaron, a word" She looked to the Unit Chief and gestured to the door. She wanted a private word. This was never good.
Sighing, clearly not in the mood for the woman's judgements, he followed her, shooting Rossi an irritated look as he moved past. The older man simply raised his eyebrows. A small warning, trying to get Hotch to keep his head.
Rossi looked to Prentiss, concerned about Hotch's reaction. Hotch had been through more than most in recent years and shouldering the responsibilities of a team that apparently couldn't keep themselves safe for longer than two months was a strain that was starting to tell on Hotch's appearance and attitude. The man simply didn't cope like he used to. Prentiss answered Rossi's gaze with a small smile. The type of smile that read 'I don't know what to do either'.
Strauss led Hotch out of the conference room and into his office. He followed behind her, uncharacteristically submissive. He closed the door as he entered, waiting patiently for her to turn around and meet his gaze. He watched as she took a deep breath, her chest expanded out and up, then dropped down as she huffed the breath back out again. Whirling round, her arms folded sternly, her eyes blazed angrily at Hotch. His lips constricted into a tight, tense line.
"What the hell is going on, Aaron?" She asked angrily, not giving him chance to answer. "Your team, in a matter of two days, has managed to lose someone, not once but twice. And I also gather Dr. Reid was endangered by the armed men who broke into the offices yesterday too! As a result of your team, two of my staff are dead, a third is missing, presumably out of action when – indeed if – he returns to work. The one team that has the capacity and the staffing levels to fully function is tearing each other apart and I'm trying to find out where the blame lies. And once again Aaron, I find myself in a room with you, describing the multiple failures of the team you are supposed to be managing." She stood, staring hard at the man. Waiting for some sort of reaction. He gave her little.
"I know." He said simply. His eyes tired. "I know how this looks." His voice had no force or conviction behind it.
"I really don't think you do, Aaron. Do you realise how ridiculous this whole thing sounds? You are top FBI profilers. Supposedly some of the greatest minds in the country. And you have been outwitted by someone who has worked alongside you for the last two years. How on earth do you expect to be trusted with cases if you cannot recognise a psychopath when they are right in front of your eyes."
"With all due respect, Erin, we didn't work alongside Jason. Garcia was the one who knew him fairly well and she is not a profiler. She cannot be expected to make such connections." Hotch argued gently but firmly. "Clearly Lewis and Howard saw no reason not to trust him either."
"Clearly." Strauss replied dryly. "And I will be dealing with that team in due course." Hotch drew his gaze away from Strauss for a few moments. Not quite believing that she would punish a grieving team for mistakes that could not be undone. "So Dr. Reid is gone again." She said with a coldly amused tone in her voice. "Care to explain to me how this came about?"
Hotch went to sit down. He was struggling with this. He wanted to be hunting for Jason. To be trying to find Reid. Not having to explain himself to his boss. That was the least of his priorities.
"Jason managed to get into the hospital. He disguised himself as an orderly and managed to get a note into Reid, threatening Agent Morgan's life if he refused to meet him outside."
"And Dr. Reid went willingly?"
"Willingly isn't the word I would use, no." Hotch said in a clipped tone.
"But he chose to leave the hospital of his own accord?" Strauss asked quickly.
"Yes." Hotch replied simply. A slight sigh in his voice.
"Well, that says it all doesn't it." Strauss retorted.
"What exactly does it say?" Hotch asked, trying his best not to get frustrated with the woman.
"Dr. Reid is a long standing member of this team. He understands how it works, the capabilities of each team member and the limitations of the team also. Is this fair to say?" It sounded like Hotch was on trial.
"Yes." He answered, the word hung in the air like an unanswered question.
"Well clearly, with all of the knowledge and understanding Dr. Reid has of your team, he still felt it necessary to hand himself back to a sexual predator rather than trust in the team to protect the life of Agent Morgan."
"No." Hotch tried to intervene.
"Doesn't exactly suggest that he trusts you, does it?" Strauss raised an eyebrow, knowing she had backed Hotch into a corner somewhat. She also knew that Hotch was far from himself today. Usually he would have tied her up in knots.
"He was very distressed, he wasn't thinking straight." Hotch said, trying to defend his team.
"I think he was thinking perfectly straight. I don't see any reason why he should trust your team." Strauss said coolly. This angered Hotch now.
"We have done everything in our power to keep Reid safe-" But he was cut off again. Strauss was clearly dominating this conversation.
"But you haven't Aaron. Clearly. Or he would still be here." She walked over to the window and stared through the blinds into the bull pen. Her back turned to Hotch. "No. Your team is a mess. It is disorganised, disruptive and clearly hasn't a clue what the next move should be. The team needs a strong leader. Someone who knows what to do in a situation like this – and you obviously don't."
"Erin, I know what I'm doing." Hotch argued back. She turned to meet his gaze.
"So tell me, where is he?" Hotch looked at her, slightly taken a back. "If you know what you're doing, then your profile will tell you where Mr. Turner is."
"It doesn't work like that. Not every time." He tried to correct her, but she was having none of it.
"Aaron, just admit. You are out of your depth." She said harshly. This time he didn't answer. He did feel out of his depth. Not professionally, but emotionally. And it was affecting his judgement. He couldn't deny that. "Well your silence speaks volumes Aaron. I think it's about time that this team had someone they can depend on."
Hotch looked at Strauss, and for the first time, he looked hurt by her words. He sighed, rubbing his hand across his eyes. Strauss watched him carefully, something akin to pity and guilt buzzed through her veins. It was a slightly foreign feeling to her.
"All I can ask Erin, is if you are going to replace me, at least let me get Reid home safe. That is all I ask." He looked at her imploringly. Her stomach flipped at the look on Hotch's face. He had no fight left in him. He was practically begging. His past experiences had obviously taken their toll. This was clearly the last thing he needed.
Strauss took a deep breath, still keeping the stern look on her face. Although her eyes had unintentionally softened slightly.
"Fine. You do what you need to. But your time in charge of this team is coming to an end." She said harshly. She turned, moving towards the door then stopped. She didn't turn back. "I hope you find him." She stood for a few moments, then opened the door and left.
Hotch sat staring depressively at the photos on his desk. Haley was smiling back at him with his son on her lap. There was also a picture of the team all smiling happily, aside from Reid of course, who looked slightly awkward, but still had laughter dancing his eyes. For the first time in a long time, Hotch silently cried.
Reid was still stood with his arms above his head, the chain from the ceiling taking the majority of his weight. As a result, so were his wrists. His whole body ached. He had never felt so uncomfortable. His head hung down, his hair dangling into his face.
Looking up, he saw Jason sat on a bed across the other side of the room, staring at him. He sighed slightly, tired of this whole game. He was fast starting to realise that it wasn't an accident that he had ended up in captivity a second time. This room was ready prepared, there was no other way Jason could prepare another room in such a way in only a matter of hours. A chill ran down Reid's spine. It was clear that Jason was a lot cleverer than any of them gave him credit for.
"You figuring me out, Spence?" Jason said with a slight smile on his face. Intrigued by the looks the young agent was giving him. He stood and moved slowly towards Reid. "Do you think you've got my profile now?" He grabbed Reid gently by the chin, bringing the young man's face level with his own so they were looking into each other's eyes. Reid didn't answer. "Tell me, Spencer. Why are you here?" Jason still held Reid's chin.
"Because you threatened a member of my team." Reid simply.
"Come on Spence. You can do better than that." Jason stroke his cheek.
Reid took a deep breath, tiredly trying to read the man to a satisfactory level.
"Because you are obsessed with me." He said flinching slightly. That felt like a ridiculously big headed thing to say.
"Well that's a given." Jason mocked. "Look at you." He ran his hand down Reid's side, still cupping his chin with his other. Reid's eyes closed as the hand slipped under his gown. "You can still do better, Spence."
Huffing and opening his eyes again, Reid stared hard at Jason. He genuinely thought that the man was a sexual sadist with an obsession. But he was clearly wrong. Well, not wrong, but he was clearly missing something. And Jason seemed intent on helping him get to the truth. He didn't know why this was so important, but he had to get it right. A certain level of self-respect depended on it. It was nice for him to realise that Jason hadn't taken his competitive streak away from him. There were still some parts of him that remained a constant.
Jason watched as Reid's eyes examined him. He was desperate to lean forwards and kiss the young man at that moment. Especially when Reid bit his bottom lip signalling that his mind was examining some sort of profile. But Jason resisted. His desire to see Reid's profiling skills in action was too good an experience to miss.
Okay, think. What am I missing? He's a sexual sadist. I know that. He has clearly planned this, he needed time to prepare this room. So it was clearly not a last minute construction done this afternoon. That meant he always meant for the team to find me the first time. And he always meant to break me out of the hospital. But why? Why would he want to do that? Why would he risk being caught? Or in this case, why would he kill two FBI agents? It doesn't make sense. That isn't the profile of a sexual sadist. A sexual sadist wouldn't want to be caught and one as intelligent as Jason would have taken longer than fourteen hours to be traced by the FBI. He definitely wanted to be arrested. If he was trying to make me suffer then surely keeping me under his control for a long period of time would be a better way of doing that. Why allow me to gain strength from the team?...
Jason watched as Reid's brows furrowed. His quick thoughts had obviously led him down a path that he was confused by, then a look of realisation spread across his features.
The team. He wanted them to see what he had done. He wanted to give me back to them, only to take me away again. The way he was trying to make turn me against the team, the hatred clearly displayed on the defaced photographs, the venom with which he said their names. It all makes sense.
"This isn't just about me. This is about the team. You want them to suffer too." Reid said, blinking at Jason. His voice weak with shock.
Jason smiled lightly, mocking Reid with an impressed look.
"Well done doctor. The BAU clearly haven't wasted their money on you." He slapped Reid's cheek gently in a patronising gesture then moved away.
Reid furrowed his brows again. Why? Why the team?
"What happened?" Reid asked gently. Sounding slightly sympathetic. Although that was intentional.
"You're the profiler. You tell me." Jason shrugged his shoulders carelessly.
Reid eyed him carefully, noting the tone in his voice as he answered. Was that a hint of jealousy? He didn't bring it up.. yet.
"You don't like my team."
Jason scoffed.
"You can do better than that, Spence."
Reid shook his head, feeling rather irritated by this stupid game.
"Jason." He said sternly. "I really have no interest in playing these games with you. If you brought me back here just to get me to profile you then I'm afraid you're going to be disappointed. There is nothing I can tell you that you don't already know yourself. You are a natural profiler, I can see that. And if you really expect me to believe that you have a serious interest in listening to your personal profile for any reason other than to hear me say it out loud – believing it will cause me distress – then you have another thing coming. Profiling is one thing I don't attach emotions to. So if you believe you can upset me by making me profile you had better look for another way of getting to me." Reid looked at Jason indignantly. He had no intention of letting Jason get under his skin this time. Especially if he was going to die. He was going to do so with some self-respect.
"Well... that was quite the sermon." Jason said, a smile spreading broadly across his face. He sat down on the bed again. Not saying a word. This odd behaviour was setting Reid on edge. He shifted, trying to stop his legs from giving way underneath him. His left leg was throbbing painfully. He desperately wanted to sit down.
The two men allowed the silence to over take them. Neither of them willing to be the first to break the silence. Almost like it was a staring competition. After a good minute of looking at each other and saying nothing. Reid simply sighed and dropped his head. He couldn't be bothered with this now. If Jason was going to kill him, what the hell did it matter what his motives were?
"You took my job." Jason said sharply.
Reid's confused and slightly irritated face looked up to meet Jason's.
"What?" He snapped.
"You took my job." He repeated again, as if it explained everything.
Reid swayed tiredly from side to side, his mind working overtime to focus figuring out what Jason meant, rather than just allowing his body to succumb to the exhaustion.
"You applied for an agent's position." Reid stated, rather than questioned. Jason silently nodded. His face completely serious now. "And I got it instead." He swallowed. This made some more sense now. Jason nodded again. Reid's head dropped down. All of this was jealousy over his job? It couldn't be. It was all too extreme. All of a sudden, it became very important for Reid to get to the bottom of Jason's motives. Before he could ask any more questions, Jason started talking.
"I applied for the BAU and I was rejected by your fucking Unit Chief because he thought I had no empathy! I can empathise! I empathise with him, I understand how fucking hard it must be to run the BAU office! How hard it must be to work around someone like you and not jump on you every time you enter a room." Jason smiled sarcastically. "I empathise all the fucking time, but he said I couldn't do it!" Reid glanced up at Jason, not saying a word. He certainly didn't want to tell him that he agreed with Hotch. So he kept his mouth shut. "Then, Derek Morgan," he almost spat the man's name, "takes me for physical training and tells me I should work behind a desk! And surprise surprise, I'm shoved onto a fucking desk job while that piece of shit lords it up at the BAU playing the big 'I am'."
Reid could see the anger in Jason's face. If he was a dog he would, no doubt , have been foaming at the mouth. Jason stood up suddenly and moved quickly towards Reid. He grabbed him roughly by the face, squeezing hard. Reid winced as Jason's fingers dug into his injuries.
"Eight fucking years I worked in D.C. Eight years! And when I finally got here... I saw you." Jason wrapped his free arm around Reid's waist, pulling the young agent's body up against his own, Reid took a deep breath and closed his eyes. "I was going to jump you one night when you were walking home from work." Reid's eyes then opened wide in a combination of surprise and disgust. "I actually stood and watched you walk past as I waited down the alley way. I was so close to doing it. But then I thought about their fucking smug faces and I saw how they protected you, how fond they all were of you. And I knew, if I just waited a little bit longer, I could have you and get to them at the same time." Reid was now shaking, this was more premeditated than he ever even cared to imagine. But it still didn't make sense.
"So you took me, so you could punish them?" Reid said, his voice nervous and unsure.
"No." His hand reached up under Reid's hospital gown again, stroking at his stomach. Reid flinched at the cold hand. "I took you because I wanted you." He reached round to massage Reid's back. "I let them find you and sent them the tapes to make them suffer." Reid froze, his face set in terror.
"What tapes?" He asked carefully.
Jason started laughing, finally removing his hand from Reid's face. He dropped it down to the young man's hips, pulling him close again.
"So shy, Spencer." Jason spoke seductively, rubbing himself up against the tense body in front of him. "The tapes of us, of course."
Reid felt like all of the blood was suddenly draining from his body. He went white as a sheet and he started to stutter.
"Y- you... sent..." His breathing was starting to become heavy and panicked as he searched Jason's face for a bluff.
Jason nodded mockingly.
"Yes... yes I did." He smiled when Reid's eyes closed and his mouth dropped open gasping in much needed air. "Well... I left the tapes somewhere they would find them anyway." Reid opened his eyes again now desperately searching Jason's face for a lie, he was practically begging for it. "You can examine me all you want, Spence. But they have those tapes. And I'm sure they've watched them... A chance to see you writhing in pleasure? I'm sure they loved it. Especially Agent Morgan." Reid winced, disgusted and angered by Jason's suggestion. Jason pulled a photograph from his back pocket and shoved it in Reid's face. It was defaced like all the others, but Morgan's arm was clearly around Reid's shoulders. "He likes to touch you, doesn't he?... I'm sure that's not all he likes to do."
Suddenly Reid kneed Jason, hard between the legs. Jason could insult him, but never his friends. Not when they weren't there to defend themselves. Jason let out a load moan and grabbed at his crotch, trying to ease the pain. He dropped to his knees. Instinctively, Reid then kicked Jason in the face, knocking him to the floor. He then started pulling at his chains. Realising there was no chance of escape, he instantly regretted his decision. Before he knew it, Jason was back on his feet again.
"You little shit!" He shouted, still holding his crotch but moving quickly towards Reid. Reid's eyes widened in fear as the man approached him. Jason punched him hard in the stomach. Reid coughed loudly and tried to curl in on himself, but the chains holding him from the ceiling would not let him. Jason kept punching, over and over, using Reid as a punching bag to allay the anger he suddenly felt. After what must have been at least the tenth punch, Reid was begging from him to stop through desperate gasps. Tears were running down Reid's face, his midsection was in agony. He tried to lift up a knee to relieve some of the pain, but this only meant he had to rely on his injured leg for support. The leg suddenly gave way and he found himself putting his body weight through his wrists once again. Jason then grabbed Reid's face tightly. The young man moaned as his already injured cheekbone complained against the grip. "Don't you ever fuckin' do that again, Spence! DON'T YOU DARE!" He screamed in his face.
Reid's eyes were screwed shut, unnerved by the proximity of Jason's face to his.
"OPEN YOUR EYES WHEN I'M SPEAKING TO YOU!" He once again screamed in Reid's face, tightening his grip and shaking him violently. Reid automatically opened his eyes on that command and let out a scared sob. "You're gonna pay for that, Spence." Jason reached into his back pocket, pulling out the key to Reid's chains. He quickly reached up and unlocked them. Reid fell unceremoniously to the ground with a loud thud. But he didn't care. He just curled in on himself, desperately trying to relieve the ache in his stomach.
Jason then bent down, grabbing Reid harshly by the hair and dragging him towards the bed in the corner. Reid instantly started fighting again. He grabbed Jason's hands trying to release his grip but to no avail, so he resorted to hammering at the man's torso, desperately trying to find a weak spot. His frustrations were getting the better of him. Jason in response, stamped on Reid's injured leg and he cried out in pain. Jason continued pulling at him and Reid continued his fight. He managed to get some leverage on his uninjured knee and managed to yank Jason away from the bed, the man stumbled a bit in surprise. He turned his incensed eyes on his victim again and launched for Reid.
Jumping on top of the young agent, he instantly went for his throat but Reid managed to stop him, wrestling with the stronger arms. Reid was starting to go red with exhaustion, as was Jason. Reid managed to catch Jason in the face with the palm of his hand, but that was all Jason would allow. He quickly brought a clenched fist down into Reid's face and then into his chest, severely winding him.
Reid was in agony as the air involuntarily left his lungs. He found himself unable to breathe in for a few moments and this was all Jason needed to gain the advantage. He found his arms pinned down either side of his head by Jason's hands, and the older man was straddling him, placing all of his weight on Reid's already aching stomach.
The panic still set into Reid and he tried desperately to free his arms and kick out his good leg, but his energy was waning.
"Stop!" Jason shouted, shaking Reid, trying to knock some sense into him. "Stop it." This time, he sounded more gentle, persuasive.
Reid screamed out in frustration. He had never, ever felt as useless as he had over the last few days.
Clutching both of Reid's wrists into the one hand now, Jason used his other hand to place it against Reid's face.
"Calm down." He said soothingly. But Reid tried to bite at his hand. He was like something wild. Jason shook him again. "Calm... Down." He repeated in a firmer but still incredibly gentle tone.
Reid's panicked breaths suddenly broke down into tears of desperation and a small part of him wanted Jason to kill him right then and there.
"I can't do this." Reid spoke between hitching gasps. "I can't do this any more." He broke down, his voice merely a whisper. His fight had left him.
"Ssshhh... Spence." Jason stroked his face soothingly. But to Reid, it was as comforting as being stroked with a wire brush. He just wanted the hands to leave him alone. "Ssshhhh..." Jason kept hushing him, like he was a temperamental child. When Jason felt all of the tension leave Reid's arms, he let go of his wrists. His victim was still crying inconsolably. The shame of his team seeing him in this state was the final straw. This was just too much to handle. The façade of strength he displayed at work had been penetrated and he had nothing left to hide behind. The team had seen him at his worst. Treated as less than human, used as an object for someone's sexual gratification. No. Worse than that. Used as a pawn in some sick revenge plan. He couldn't even place that much importance on himself in all of this now. If it had been him alone that Jason wanted to mess with, this ordeal probably would have been over in a matter of minutes, not drawn out into this long dramatic saga. No. He was now secondary in his own ordeal.
Reid barely noticed when Jason's weight shifted off the top of him and his body came to rest at his side. Jason's hand was then on Reid's shoulder, rolling him onto his right hand side. Reid's left hand met the floor and pushed back, trying to roll himself onto his back again, but he was too late. Jason's body was now wedged in behind him and his left leg was strewn across Reid's body. Jason then wrapped his arm around Reid's chest, subduing his fighting arm and pulling him into a tight hug.
"Oh, Spence... don't cry. Calm down." He nuzzled his face into the side of Reid's and Reid pulled away, turning his head to the floor. Reid was quickly giving up. Not because he was weak, but because he wasn't sure what he was fighting for any more. The team had only found him the first time because Jason had purposefully set it up that way. Jason was clearly extremely clever and had already made it clear that his intention was to kill him. Reid had no doubt that Jason would make good that threat. Not after killing Lewis and Howard.
Jason consoled him as his body shook with more silent tears. He then threaded his fingers through Reid's and held tightly onto his hand. To his pleasure, Reid gripped back, desperate for some form of comfort and Jason pulled him closer, Reid didn't fight it now. They lay like that for a good ten minutes, Reid's body shaking from time to time, then he went still. Jason knew Reid was giving up, he could feel it. Reid looked so depressed and exhausted. Reid had gone limp over a minute ago now and Jason was pleased to find that the young man had fallen asleep. He smiled at Reid's stupidity. He doubted that this is something that he would intentionally do. A combination of anaesthesia and lack of sleep was most likely the cause. But he didn't care. Reid was vulnerable and he loved it.
Jason carefully extracted his hand from Reid's and slowly and gently removed his leg from atop of his victim. He pushed himself up slightly, using his right arm so he could get a better look at Reid's battered but peaceful face. His could feel his arousal growing as he touched the young man. His hand then started to gently explore the rest of his body, careful not to wake him up. He ran his hand up and down the young man's side, then dipped it underneath his hospital gown. It was open from when he had unfastened it all earlier. Jason was quickly becoming hard now as he ran his hand up the plains of Reid's stomach. Reid then furrowed his brows in his sleep and brushed his hand down his body to unconsciously stop the movement of Jason's hand. Jason smiled. He was really going to enjoy this.
He lifted Reid's hospital gown up and pushed it forwards so that his bottom half was exposed. He took a sharp intake of breath as he ran his hand over the exposed skin. Jason then stood himself up, unfastening his belt and then removing his trousers and underwear. His erection springing free, aching for a piece of the agent lay beneath him. Jason then removed his t-shirt. He wanted to feel the warmth of Reid's skin against his chest, feel the young man's sweat as he fought desperately to free himself and he wanted Reid to feel him for the first time. Reid had gotten himself into this position, so Jason figured he should suffer the consequences.
Laying himself down next to Reid again, he pushed himself up against the young doctor. He swept his hand down his body and teased his finger at his entrance. Gently and slowly he pushed his finger inside and Reid's body tensed in his sleep and he shifted to pull himself away. Reid whimpered slightly as his unconscious mind realised that the finger wasn't going anywhere. Jason slowly inserted another finger and this time Reid came round with a gasp, his hips automatically pulling away from the intrusion.
"Stay still, Spencer." Jason whispered in his ear, soothingly. Reid's arm reached behind him to stop Jason from violating him and Jason's right arm wrapped itself around his neck, squeezing threateningly. Instinctively, Reid's hand went to the arm around his throat and Jason quickly released the choke hold and caught Reid's wrist, immobilising his free hand. The other was trapped beneath his own body and the floor. Jason then nuzzled his face into Reid's neck, leaving marks as he sucked on the skin.
Reid's heart was beating fast and erratically. He could feel Jason's stiffness pressing into his lower back and he desperately wanted to pull away. The fingers invading his body, pulled in and out, sickeningly slowly. Teasing for what was to come. He felt claustrophobic. His right arm was trapped underneath his own body and his left arm was pulled tightly across his chest as Jason pulled on his wrist. Jason's body was wedged in right behind him and no amount of shifting could stop the contact of skin to skin. He desperately wished he had some clothing on. His stomach was churning with anxiety and a shudder ran down his body when Jason nuzzled his neck in a sensitive spot.
"You like that?" Jason whispered. Nuzzling into his neck again, making Reid squirm.
"Please stop." Reid said in a weak voice. He knew it was pointless. What was he trying to save that hadn't already been taken from him anyway? But he couldn't help it.
Jason then removed his fingers and started stroking himself.
"You ready?" Jason whispered in his ear and licked the side of Reid's face. Reid in response squeezed his eyes tightly shut and started shaking his head from side to side, in complete denial. He tried to shuffle himself away, but Jason's hand pulled his hips back towards him. He pushed Reid's injured leg forwards so he could gain better access. Reid cried out as a pain shot up his leg and he tried to move it back, but Jason kept him in position with strong hands.
"No." Reid said, stronger this time. Finally finding some energy to fight. He bucked and wriggled and tried desperately to roll away from Jason but it was too late. Jason thrust into Reid quickly and mercilessly and the young man cried out in agony and his whole body tensed. Once Jason knew he had access to Reid, he let go of his leg and wrapped his free arm across his stomach, pulling him as close as he could. He wanted Reid to feel him as he thrust in and out.
Tears were running down Reid's face again in utter devastation. He was so trapped. The pain he was feeling was excruciating and he found himself panting, trying to cope with it. The initial fight that he put up was soon forgotten as he just tried to cope with the agony and violation of what was happening. He could feel Jason's hot breath against his cheek and the occasional wetness from when the man licked him or placed a sloppy kiss somewhere.
The next thing he registered was Jason's hand reaching downwards and starting to stroke him. Reid realised he had zoned out for a while. At this though, he gasped and started pleading again.
"No... no please.." Jason slowed down his thrusts and speeded up his strokes and Reid was soon becoming hard once again.
"Why would I stop, Spence? You clearly like it." He whispered cruelly.
"No." Reid gasped, trying to pull himself together, he tried to wriggle his hand free from Jason's grip but to no avail. His voice sounded more focused now. "It is a normal physiological reaction that bears no relation to psychological decisions." Jason just speeded up his strokes, causing Reid to push the side of his face into the ground and moan slightly.
Jason was completely composed, he knew how to control himself in this situation.
"I take it the moaning is a normal physiological response too?" He started thrusting faster now in time with the strokes and Reid couldn't control the whimpers that escaped his lips. His body was responding against his will. His mind stuck in turmoil, somewhere between highly aroused and in excruciating pain.
Reid found himself desperately trying to escape to somewhere else like he had the last time. He thought about happier times, working with his team and thinking about the various things they had done together, both in work and outside of work.
Eventually, Jason felt the fight leave Reid's body. Stopping his movements, he looked over the young agent's face. He was just staring. Staring at nothing. Jason smiled. He didn't want Reid's mnd wandering off elsewhere. He wanted to keep him in the present. There was no point in this otherwise. He suddenly brought his hand up to slap Reid across the face, the young agent yelped as he was brought back from his reverie. His body instantly tensed up again as he realised his ordeal wasn't over.
"Stay with me, Spence." Jason moaned into his ear as he started thrusting and stroking at the younger man again. Reid winced, closing his eyes in pain. But he didn't fight now. It was too late, the damage had been done. Jason was soon coming to his climax, he started bucking his hips harder at Reid but then slowed down to a stop, focusing his attentions on bringing Reid to his climax first. As he speeded up his strokes, he could feel sweat running down the young man's back and his face was clammy. He was panting heavily, Jason licked his face as he finally came. Reid shuddered as the unwanted arousal took over his body and finally dissipated. Jason used the tension in Reid's body at that moment to bring himself to a climax, he buried himself deep inside Reid, holding him tightly in place until he was completely spent. As he came he let go of Reid's wrist and grabbed at his face instead, his other hand ran all over the agent's body. Jason panted heavily as his arousal subsided. His body felt relaxed and drowsy. Reid was shivering involuntarily beside him. Finally released from Jason's bruising grip, he quickly covered himself back up with the gown and wrapped his arms tightly around his body.
Jason then shifted himself away from Reid and rolled him onto his back. Reid's hands came up defensively and he bent his good knee up to protect himself. Jason just leaned over Reid, looking down on his face, making him incredibly uncomfortable and self-conscious. Jason stroked his face and Reid's hands twitched as he tried to resist swatting his abuser's hands away. Jason then leaned down and took Reid's mouth into a passionate kiss. Reid gently rested his hands on Jason's shoulders, not pushing him away but, at the least, keeping him at a distance. Jason then collapsed his body down so he was half on top of Reid. He threw his arm across the young man's chest and his leg rested across his body half.
The tension in Reid's body was exhausting. Jason didn't know how his body could keep fighting in this way. He pulled away from the kiss and looked deep into Reid's eyes.
"Relax. We're done... get some rest." He dropped his head down to lie right next to Reid's. His mouth resting at the young doctor's cheek. When Reid moved to brush off Jason's arm from his chest, the older man just grabbed his wrist again. But gently this time. He snuggled into Reid. Reid didn't know what was worse, this Jason, or the sadistic violator. At least with the latter he didn't feel so responsible. When Jason was being gentle, he felt like he was allowing the man to do these things to him. Even though he knew in his mind that he had no choice, these were the moments when the guilt was at its strongest. Reid was forced to relax a little. Jason clearly wanted to enter a sex induced sleep and he obviously planned on enjoying it with his conquest. Trapped beneath him. So Reid would have to remain where he was, shivering on the cold floor. Covered by the man who had brutally abused him.
He really wished Jason would just kill him.
"What do we do now then?" Prentiss asked, looking to Rossi and JJ sat opposite her. "Garcia has already searched through his transactions. There's nothing to be found in there that he didn't want us to find. We have our profile, but all we know is he will take him somewhere of his own choosing and not Reid's. Somewhere that means something to him... but where?"
"He's like a ghost, Emily. He hasn't left anything in his records that we could trace to a building or anything like that. He does my job, he knows exactly what I would look for." Garcia said. Her face flat and tired.
"Well what would we do if we didn't have all of this information on him? If we didn't know him?" Rossi asked.
"Ask people he knows." JJ nodded.
"Exactly." Rossi said.
"But anyone he knows would include people here. Surely if they knew anything that could help, they would have mentioned it." Garcia asked.
"Even profilers can miss things when they're right in front of their faces, Garcia." Prentiss commented. She clearly believed that Rossi's idea was a good one. It was easy to overlook the obvious when they were dealing with a case so close to home. Protocol often went out of the window. As they had clearly demonstrated.
"Are you going to want to talk to me?" Garcia said quietly, as if it was implicating her in some way.
They all looked at her, understanding her guilt and treading carefully around it.
"I think that would be a good idea." Rossi said gently. "It doesn't mean you could have done anything about it... But there might be some tiny detail that may have been overlooked."
Garcia nodded quietly. The door to the conference room suddenly swung open and Morgan walked in, sombrely. He chanced a glance at JJ who automatically moved her gaze to the table. She was still incredibly upset.
Sensing the mood in the room, Prentiss looked to Rossi and Garcia, nodding to them as she stood up.
"Right, I'd better help Garcia look into his friends. You wanna come too, Rossi?" She smiled knowingly.
He stood up in response.
"Lead the way." He said simply, giving Morgan a look as if to sarcastically say 'smooth'.
Morgan raised his eyebrows at his colleagues and their apparent lack of acting skills. But he appreciated the gesture anyway. Once they had left the room, he moved his gaze back to JJ and sat down.
"I'm sorry." He said calmly but firmly. "I really am." She finally looked up to meet his gaze, the hurt was obvious in her eyes. "I was angry and I took it out on the wrong person. And that person was you. You didn't deserve that." He said softly and honestly, his gaze unwavering.
Tears started welling up in JJ's eyes.
"I don't know who I'm more annoyed with." The upset was showing in her voice. "You... or myself."
"JJ, don't." Morgan leaned across the table. "Don't do that to yourself. I didn't mean what I said. Not one bit. You shouldn't listen to me... You were right, I blame myself. It is my fault that Reid went back to Jason. I shouldn't have taken that out on you."
"No, Morgan. I didn't mean that either... Reid did what he did because he cares about you. Not because you expected him to. You're his best friend. He protected you like you would protect him."
Morgan didn't feel the need to respond. He just smiled softly at JJ, feeling incredibly stupid for taking out his venom on one of his close friends. The look on JJ's face was rather similar and she smiled back.
Morgan stood and moved to sit next to her, placing an arm around her shoulders. She rested her head on his shoulder.
"Why do we always do this?" JJ asked. "Whenever anything happens to Reid, we always argue."
"Because we're both the same." Morgan said with a knowing smile. "We love our boy so much that we think we're the only ones who care as much as we do."
JJ laughed slightly. That was the truest thing she'd heard in a while.
"Why can't you have these epiphanies when we're arguing?" She glanced up at Morgan, a small joke in her eyes. Morgan didn't answer. Only smiled. They sat in silence for a minute or so, dreading leaving the conference room to return to the living hell that was their current case. JJ looked at Morgan again. "You know I didn't want to lie about Emily, don't you?" This was obviously so important for her.
"Yeah, JJ. I know." Morgan said, squeezing her shoulders.
"I know Spence is still angry about it. I can tell. He made the effort to try to trust me again, but I know he doesn't... he's a good liar."
"That's not true. Reid trusts you with his life."
"No, Derek. No he doesn't." JJ said strongly. "He doesn't... God!" She pulled away from Morgan now. "You have no idea how many times I was this close", she demonstrated with two fingers held an appropriate distance apart, "this close to telling you. All of you... It killed me to see you all grieving. Knowing that two little words could just fix it all."
"Don't do this to yourself." Morgan said gently, rubbing her shoulder.
"Spence came over to my house. Every week for ten weeks. Crying." JJ said turning to Morgan. He raised his eyebrows in surprise. That didn't sound like Reid. "He really loves Emily. He's a lot closer to her than I thought. She looks out for him too, I think. I never realised just how much Reid knows about everyone on this team." She realised she was rambling now and shook her head free of the distracting thoughts. "He cried for ten weeks solid. I'd never, ever seen him cry before. And that was when I knew, after all the time I've worked with him, that Reid truly trusted me. And all the time I was lying to him. Every time he trusts someone, he gets it thrown back in his face."
"You sound like him." Morgan said quietly. She looked at him questioningly. "He said that to me, many years ago now." JJ turned away.
"Well now, it took all of my effort just for him to show a little emotion in front of me... I've ruined everything." Tears started running down her face and she sniffed.
"No, JJ. No you haven't. You had no choice. Emily needed you and you did what was right. Reid knows that."
"Doesn't mean that he trusts me though." She said sadly.
"Okay... maybe he is a bit unsure right now. But that doesn't mean he always will be. Reid understands your reasons... and he knows you have a good heart. He'll come round... you'll see." Morgan stroked her hair and gave her a quick kiss on the forehead.
"Thanks Derek." JJ said gently, turning to give him a big hug. She was so glad they had settled their differences. She hated arguing with Morgan. He was always so light-hearted and fun. Falling out with him was like being bitten by a Labrador. It was just uncharacteristic.
"No problem." He smiled, returning the hug. "Now let's go find our boy." He said positively.
Hotch sat in his office. Head in his hands. Strauss' words were running through his head in never ending circles.
'You're out of your depth... time the team had someone they can depend on.'
Strauss didn't often get to him, but she caught him at a particularly low ebb. After being stabbed, then losing Haley, coping without JJ, then holding the team's hand through the grief of losing Emily and now this. He really wasn't sure, when he looked back, how he had gotten through it all. Maybe it was because someone else had pointed it out to him, but he suddenly realised what a mess the last couple of years had been. There had been hard times before, with Elle, Gideon leaving, then Reid's drug problem – all in quick succession. But nothing that had been quite so gut wrenching as the issues the team had faced, this year in particular. The team was closer than ever, and that made every loss all the more painful. And Hotch couldn't help but think that Strauss was right. He hadn't been strong for the team. He had been too focused on himself and his own issues.
He thought back to Ian Doyle and Emily's inability to share her past life with the team. Had that been because he hadn't instilled trust in the members of his team? He thought about Reid and his headaches. Another thing that had been swept under the carpet, keeping everyone out of the know. Had Reid felt unable to tell him because he worried he might be judged?
He thought the team was close, but they seemed to have this ability of not reaching out to each other when it was at the most important moments. And this time was no exception. Reid had purposefully not told the team about the letter because, Strauss was right, Reid didn't think the team would be able to keep Morgan safe from Jason.
Hotch couldn't help but wonder if there wasn't something he could have done to make Reid have more faith in the team when he was most in need. He had no doubt that if Gideon had still been here, Reid would have thought twice about returning himself to Jason.
Hotch sighed and looked to his cell. Picking it up, he dialled a carefully selected number and held the phone to his ear.
"I need to talk to you. Can you come into my office?... Thanks." He spoke seriously, his face expressionless.
He waited a minute, until he heard a knock on his door. The door pushed open and in walked his colleague.
Hotch gestured to the seat.
"Sit down."
"Well this is serious." Rossi replied, noting Hotch's tone and the fact that he had been called rather than taken aside. "I take it your meeting with Erin didn't end too favourably."
Hotch tightened his lips, to keep himself from saying what he really wanted to. Which would have been more than unprofessional.
"Dave, my time in charge of this team is coming to an end." He took Strauss' words as he couldn't think of a better way of saying it.
"What?" Rossi said, sitting forwards, his eyes angry. "What has she been saying to you?" He looked like he wanted to murder Strauss there and then.
"Nothing that I've not been thinking myself." It wasn't strictly true, but she had stirred up some considerable doubt in his mind. Doubt that he figured was already there anyway. "I've been struggling to stay on top of things for a while now. And all of this... it's just getting too much."
Rossi shook his head in denial.
"This isn't the Aaron Hotchner I know. This is Erin Strauss talking."
"No. This is me talking. I've changed... The last two years, they've changed me. I don't feel as in control as I used to be."
"So what? We've had a bad couple of years, you more than most! But you're forgetting the important part. You got through it."
"No, Dave. We're still getting through it. And right now I don't trust myself to be head of this team. I can't focus, I'm not profiling well... I'm... I'm crying for god's sake."
Rossi narrowed his eyes.
"That just makes you human, Aaron. Hell, every time I think about what's happening right now I wanna cry."
"But the important thing is, you don't." Hotch said seriously, looking Rossi dead in the eyes.
"How do you know what I do? I've cried. I've cried practically everyday. I cry all the time. Hell, I cry like a new born... Like I said. It's what makes us human, what makes us good at what we do... we care." Hotch raised his eyebrows slightly at this confession. He knew Rossi was a passionate man but didn't have him pegged as the crying type. But then, what exactly was 'the crying type'. Reid could look like the 'crying type'.. but he wasn't. He realised that even he could judge a book by its cover sometimes.
"Look Dave, the fact of the matter is, regardless of whether its right or wrong to cry, I'm not focused. I need to take a back seat on this. If we want to find Reid alive, I have to take a back seat. I can't head this case." Rossi shook his head, opening his mouth to say something, but was cut off by a raise of the hand from Hotch. "That's why I need someone I can depend on to keep the team focused and on the right track. To stop them pulling each other apart and get them working together regardless of how they are feeling."
Rossi's eyes narrowed again.
"And you think that person is me?" He sounded surprised.
"I do." Hotch said simply. "I know you hate the politics and I promise you, I wouldn't ask you if I felt I had any other choice, but it would only be until we find Reid. Then I would take charge and review my position again. I really don't want to see Reid passed to another team, or worse, the local P.D."
Rossi nodded in agreement, he shared that sentiment. Although he was deeply unhappy with the rest of Hotch's statement.
"Why me, Aaron? Morgan surely would be a better candidate. He's younger, he's fitter, he has a lot more going for him than I do right now."
"But he's also too emotionally involved. You are able to take a step back. Morgan can't. I've watched the team carefully throughout this whole disaster, Dave. You are the only person who has kept your focus throughout. If it wasn't for you, we would have missed so many parts of the profile. The team needs someone who leads by example right now. And I'm not capable of setting the example they need." Hotch stared at Rossi pleadingly. He hated putting him in this position, but he couldn't see Reid be failed by them again because they weren't focusing in the right place. Rossi had consistently had his wits about him. He was the only one right now he could trust to get the job done.
Rossi stared back hard. Trying to figure out if this really was how Hotch felt, or if it was Strauss' influence affecting Hotch's judgement. He figured it was a combination of the two. But if Strauss was throwing Hotch this much off his game, perhaps he was right. He needed to step down for a while. At least while the stakes were so high.
"Fine." He answered. "But only until we get Reid home safe. My obligations end as soon as Reid is back with us and Jason is in custody."
Hotch breathed a sigh of relief, smiling a little.
"Deal."