Oooooh, here's the next chapter! Fast I know, I've impressed myself, honestly ;) I'm not sure I'm entirely happy with it, let me know if it seems a little rushed. I think it might. But anyway, I hope you enjoy :) Thank you once again for all of your reviews, I would love some more :P Keep reading, hope you ENJOY!
WARNINGS: The usual, non-con, violence, gore (in this chapter), character death... did I really say that? Woops!
Hotch, Morgan and Rossi sat in silence in the conference room. The lights were off and they felt no need to switch them back on. They had not said a word to each other since they stopped the tape. Which was when they had arrived finding Jason with a gun to Reid's head. They had watched at least three hours of their colleague being beaten, raped and then locked in a tomb like hole in the floor, suffering through his worst fear of the darkness and small spaces, begging for an ounce of kindness. All for the sick pleasure of someone else. And still, they had nothing that could help them.
Hotch felt dangerously close to being sick. He knew he must have looked pale. Watching this tape had been in vain and any wishes he had held to at least know what had happened to their colleague had now completely dissipated. He wished he'd never known, he wished he could erase those memories from his mind forever.
Morgan was feeling much the same. He felt so angry that he could barely function any more. He was just devastated for Reid. The frustration he felt whilst watching that tape would not settle. He just wanted to turn back time so badly, to rescue Reid from the man who had done this to him. He hated Jason. But most of all, he hated himself right now. He had been the one that Reid had tried to protect by going back to Jason. So he was to blame that he was there with him now. He knew that feeling would stay with him for a lifetime.
Rossi just felt incredibly sad. He had seen a lot of things in his time, and he was getting to a point where nothing could shock him any more. But seeing someone he knew in that position, Reid in particular, was very hard. Rossi always respected and admired Reid, but never took him too seriously. He would often feel slightly irritated by his 'know-it-all' attitude and other times would just make fun of him because of it. Under normal circumstances, that wouldn't bother him. But now he was thinking of every time he'd ever done or said anything that Reid could take badly. He knew it was ridiculous, but he couldn't help it. Guilt was playing on his mind a lot. The rest of the team had put a huge emphasis on protecting Reid, he was the only one who didn't so much. He couldn't help but wonder, if he had, would things be different now?
A knock came quietly at the door. Garcia poked her head around. She furrowed her brows at the darkness in the room and switched on the light.
"Everything okay in here?" She said gently, noticing how ill the men sat in front of her looked.
Hotch ran a hand over his face, trying to regain his composure.
"Yes." He sighed. "Come in, what is it?"
"I thought you were watching it again. I didn't think it would take that long." Garcia said sheepishly. She had avoided entering the room three times now. "I told JJ and Emily to have a look at the possible victims to see if they thought anyone matched the victimlogy. We also have a name for one of the guys we think Jason might have killed."
Garcia suddenly had their interest. They all turned, intrigued to see who she was talking about.
"Roger Lineman. He went to the gym where Jason used to go all the time. JJ and Emily said that Lineman knew Jason was gay and made sure that everyone around him knew it too, so he wouldn't be trusted by other men in the gym."
"Did he fit the victimology?" Hotch asked.
"He was a big guy, drove a nice car, director of some manufacturing company... if that's what you mean."
"How was he killed?" Morgan asked.
"His throat was cut." Garcia said simply, pulling her face.
"Certainly sounds like Jason." Rossi said.
"We need to speak to this Steve again, get any information we can on what happened." Hotch said.
"This is where the problems arise." Prentiss said, confidently walking in with a small pile of folders. JJ was quickly in behind her. Everyone turned to look at the pair who had seemingly come out of nowhere. "Speaking to Steve is useless. He claims he barely knows Jason, they're 'friends but not really friends' sort of friends. So he's claiming to know very little. So we asked to see footage from the CCTV cameras from the last few times Roger Lineman was in the gym just to watch the exchanges between him and Jason.. and guess what?"
"He doesn't have them." Morgan said flatly.
"Get a warrant." Hotch said seriously.
"We've applied for one, but it'll take a while." JJ said, her voice depressed. "I've seriously pulled some strings to get a rush on it, but it's still taking longer than I'd hoped. The paper work alone took long enough." JJ sighed.
"But on a more positive note," Prentiss said with a small smile, "we seem to have narrowed down the victim pool."
"To how many?" Morgan asked.
"Thirty possible victims in the last ten years, taking into account D.C and Virginia." Prentiss replied quickly, pushing the folders into the middle of the table.
"Assuming he's not crossed state lines." JJ said, rolling her eyes. This was obviously a discussion they had done many rounds, as Prentiss just shook her head.
"How many have we got in Virginia?" Rossi asked, noting the pile.
"Eight possibles in the last two years." JJ replied.
"Eight?" Morgan gasped. "Eight victims?"
"Possibles, Morgan. Not definite." Hotch reassured him.
"We came to the conclusion at the gym that Jason has most likely crossed paths with his victims at some point before killing them. Or how else would he know that they fit his type?" JJ questioned.
"And they may have all done something to annoy him, helping to convince him that killing was a necessity for his survival rather than an actual pleasure. Hence still having the need for a sexual release. Perhaps the killing wasn't giving him the pleasure he was hoping for." Prentiss suggested.
"But isn't that working backwards? Don't you always say sex offenders progress to killing? Not the other way round?" Garcia asked, the confusion clear in their voice.
"This is a very unusual case, Garcia." Rossi started, flicking through some of the victim files. "It's like the two needs are mutually exclusive. There's no sexual component, no stabbing, no overkill. No signature. Almost like he's a hired assassin or something. But the sexual component has to be there somewhere."
"Perhaps it's a compulsion?" Prentiss suggested.
"Not likely with someone like him." Rossi shook his head.
"Did you notice any compulsive behaviour whilst working with him?" Morgan asked Garcia.
"Compulsive? Like nervous ticks?" She raised an eyebrow.
"Yeah... or anything he seemed like he had to do."
"No. No, nothing like that. Only thing I did notice is that he had one hell of a temper sometimes." The group looked at her, intrigued. "His computer would sometimes screw up and he had a tendency to kick it pretty hard. Not a lot. But just like once or twice."
"And would he calm down then?" Hotch asked, leaning forwards.
Garcia looked up thoughtfully for a moment and then back down to Hotch.
"Yeah. Almost instantly." She furrowed her brows, not quite understanding why the team looked like it all made sense.
"He has a lot of rage and he controls it well, with short bursts of anger. We saw that with Reid on the video, he would become incredibly annoyed, very quickly, but then the anger would be dispelled. A bit like his kills, he gets a control thrill from it, but he it's fast, like it instantly relieves his rage." Rossi commented.
"But at his core, he's a control killer. He wants to control his victims because he feels that he's worthless. He goes after men like us because we rejected him, made him feel like he's beneath us." Hotch explained.
"But we watched that tape Hotch, a control killer wouldn't behave with Reid like he did. That is all about the fantasy. That isn't the profile of a power/control killer." Morgan shook his head. "What are we looking at here?" Morgan said, eyebrows raising. "He is a power/reassurance rapist who is also capable of power/control murder but managed to refrain from killing Reid, even though he was clearly acting out a fantasy that could have easily led to Reid's death. I don't get it. Why didn't he kill him?"
"Because he's not his type." Rossi said strongly.
"But a power/reassurance rapist with past experience of murder will almost always take it too far and kill their victim. You know that." Morgan snapped.
"I'm not pretending to understand it. I'm just saying, that's how it is. He murders one type, rapes another. I don't know why!"
Prentiss sat down, sighing loudly. This profile was confusing the hell out of them. She grabbed a couple of files.
"If we can find the men in here who might have been Jason's victims, we might be able to find a link to him, or some evidence of a dispute... or something. Anything that will help."
Hotch nodded.
"You're right, men who have wronged him would certainly be a fitting target. That's his issue with us and if he's using surrogates to relieve his feelings of rage then if somebody did something to annoy him and they fit his type, it would only be a matter of time before he struck."
"Like a ticking time bomb." Rossi added thoughtfully.
Steve held Reid firmly by the chain around his throat, his body had been pushed down into the mattress for the last ten minutes whilst Steve explored his body. He just lay still, his eyes staring off like a ghost, lost to the world.
During this time, Jason had been pacing up and down uncomfortably. He barely looked at what was happening on the bed. He took the odd glance here and there but never liked what he saw. He felt oddly possessive of Reid. He'd met a lot of young men during his time assisting Steve with his work, keeping his ear to the ground within the FBI. But none had ever done to him what Reid had done to him. It was inexplicable. Jason always knew he had sexually dominant side. He'd discovered that with Stephen years before. But he'd never acted on it. Was never given the chance. And he knew the Steve had seen that in him only two years ago when he'd moved to Virginia for the BAU. Jason was never quite sure how they'd found each other, but they always did say that people with common interests will often find each other somehow.
Of course, Steve had an inkling about Jason's murderous streak, but he never asked him about it. But when Roger Lineman suddenly turned up dead, Steve hadn't seemed surprised. In fact, he smiled and patted Jason on the shoulder. Jason supposed that it was always handy for a man like Steve to know a man like Jason. But Jason didn't doubt that Steve had his murderous streak too. And he didn't have a preference either. Anyone, male, female, young, old, big, small. It didn't matter. If they were in his way, they were in his way. And Jason was fully aware of that.
This thought crossed his mind as he looked at Steve straddling Reid. His blood boiled but he had to remain calm. A man like Steve goes missing and it's not just the police you would be answering questions to.
But he couldn't help it. Spencer was his. He'd worked hard on gaining his trust and planning this whole event for himself. Not so Spencer could be taken away from him by someone who never does any of the work. Jason spent his life manipulating and gaining the trust of seemingly weak people. That's what he did for Steve. Originally he thought it would be an ideal way of satisfying his sexual desires, but when it came down to it, they just didn't do it for him. Spencer was always there in the back of his mind. He was his perfect goal. He reminded him so much of Stephen it was unreal. But he was better than Stephen. Because he was strong and intelligent. Whilst Stephen was both of these things, he lacked the ability to put them into practise. And ultimately, that meant he was boring.
Spencer had been a challenge definitely worth taking. But he had let his psychopathic tendencies get in the way. Taunting the FBI, whilst it was a planned manoeuvre, he wished he hadn't bothered. He could have taken Spencer far from here by now. He also had to admit, he'd gotten carried away with his fists. The kid looked like shit right now and any chances of keeping him alive for a long period of time were slipping away. At some point he would need a hospital. So that had left Jason with the only option he now had. He had to kill him. Which again, was part of the original, not so well thought out, plan. But he would certainly make his name and the BAU would be talking about him for years to come. Which had been a lifelong dream to say the least.
He was brought out of his thoughts by a moan from Steve. He was running his hand down Reid's bare back and down to his buttocks whilst getting himself prepared. Jason furrowed his brows and scrunched up his face in disgust.
"Do you really have to?" Jason asked, pulling his face at Steve to show his disdain.
"Oh come on, Jason!" Steve laughed. "It's just a bit of harmless fun." He smacked Reid on the backside. The young man jumped very slightly, but was soon summoned back to a world of numbness, where his thoughts no longer registered his physical feelings. "You're acting like you've never seen it before." He winked jokingly at Jason and Jason faked a tight lipped smile back. Steve leaned over Reid then nuzzled into his ear, whispering. This brought Reid slightly out of his daze. "I bet Jason was gentle with you, whispering sweet nothings." Jason watched, his chest rising and falling heavily as Steve nuzzled at Reid, pressing against his backside with his erection. "Well I don't, pretty boy." He pulled away, ruffling Reid's hair. "I just get on with it." And he pushed into Reid. The young man barely reacted, just pulling his face slightly at the intrusion. Steve was a larger man than Jason and physically more intimidating, but he clearly didn't need the same power trip that Jason did. It was a more carnal desire that Steve was soothing.
He grunted as he increased the speed of his thrusts.
"Fuck! Jason, you chose well." Steve gasped, obviously enjoying himself.
He didn't notice Jason's tightly fisted hands and the anger burning in his eyes. He was furious that Steve would do this to him. He knew the thought that Jason had put into this whole plan. And he just wanted to use his power and influence to get a free ticket to Reid's body. As if he didn't have enough access to young men. Jason had provided him with enough. No, this was just a power thing. Steve wanted to show Jason who was boss. And he wasn't having any of it.
Pulling the knife out of his back pocket, Jason quickly came up behind Steve whilst he was busying himself playing with Reid's hair, and cut his throat.
Steve all of a sudden stopped thrusting and Reid felt his body go tense. It knocked him out of his daze when he felt a warm fluid running all down his back and spraying onto his face slightly. A desperate gurgling noise could be heard and Reid turned, nearly jumping out of his skin on the sight that presented itself. Blood was racing out of a long, large gash across Steve's neck. His eyes were wide and his hands had gone up to try and stem the bleeding, but it was useless. The blood was escaping too fast.
Reid's terrified mind was desperately trying to organise his thoughts as his body crawled away from the man, but very quickly Steve's body collapsed forward onto Reid. His eyes shot open wide and he thrashed and shuffled desperately to get out from underneath the dead man. The look in his eyes haunting him.
"Get him off me! Get him off me!" He begged desperately.
Jason simply moved quietly, depressively towards the pair and pulled Steve's dead body off Reid, discarding him carelessly to the floor.
Reid just stared down at the man in shock. His breath panting. Jason's hand came to his shoulder. This time he didn't flinch.
"I had to stop him, Spence... I had to." He said strongly as Reid looked up at him with a horrified expression. He then dropped his gaze back to the dead man again. He'd only seen someone die like that once. And it was by his own hand in a terrorism case. But that man had a complete look of calm on his face. Steve hadn't. It was horrific. However deserving he was of it.
Reid suddenly had an incredible urge to get himself off the bed. It was covered in blood, as was he. Noticing this, Jason helped him up, then to Reid's surprise, removed the collar from around his neck. This allowed him free movement around the room. Jason then left his side and walked to the far corner of the room where he dropped on the floor.
Reid stared at him curiously for a short while. This was his post-killing depression. Many books talked about this, many serial killers had described it. But not many had seen it. Reid realised he was one of those unfortunate people who would witness it, purely because he was never meant to survive. The thought started to depress him, and he soon found himself leaning against a wall and falling down to the floor. His gaze shifting to Steve's body and soon he was simply staring, in an almost catatonic like state.
Jason was now watching him. "You know I would keep you alive if I had the choice, don't you, Spencer?"
Reid furrowed his brows as he was staring at the fresh corpse. Then he slowly brought his tired gaze up to meet Jason's.
"Would you." He said, disinterested.
"I would... really." He stared hard into Reid's eyes. When Reid looked away, Jason felt another pang of anger. "Fucking look at me when I'm talking to you."
Reid just sighed, his shoulders heaving upwards and dropping like a child in a mood.
"You can't control your temper. You would always end up killing me anyway." His voice was quiet and sad, he nodded to himself, almost to reiterate his point. Any hope of survival was worthless, so there was no point even dwelling on it. Then he met Jason's gaze.
"What did I say to you, Spence about control?... Let's not go there, right?" Reid tightened his lips and furrowed his brows, remembering earlier. "It won't be long now, Spence." He said, getting himself up. He moved towards the young man and knelt down next to him. "I'm really gonna miss you." He brought the knife up to Reid's throat, teasingly. Reid sucked in a breath and he closed his eyes, his hands shaking in anticipation. "I knew you were scared of death." Jason said smugly. "Don't worry. I'll make it quick." He teased with the knife again. Reid still didn't breathe. "But first thing's first." He pulled the knife away and Reid instantly breathed a sigh of relief. He really didn't think he would be as scared as this.
Jason stood and from behind his chair in the corner, and to Reid's horror, he grabbed a video camera and a tripod. He set them up in the middle of the room. He then set the chair in front of the camera. He worked to figure out the best angle, messing around for a good minute. Then he pressed record and sat down. Reid watched him curiously.
"Hello Agents Hotchner, Morgan, Rossi, Prentiss, Jareau and my lovely Garcia. When you receive this tape, Spencer Reid will be dead."
"Richard Pearson, aged thirty six, six foot five inches tall. Found with his throat cut down an alley way just over six months ago." JJ questioned.
"That sounds promising." Rossi said. "Put him up on the board." The team all nodded in agreement. They now had four out of the eight victims in Virginia. "We need to build a geographical profile of where the bodies were found. We'll need to know if there were any connections between the victims themselves. See if there is a similar place they visited on the same day." Rossi turned to Garcia at this point.
"Yes, sir! On it." She said. Quickly, shuffling out of the room.
"I think we need a press conference." Hotch said simply.
"Are you serious?" JJ asked. "Could that not push him underground?"
"Underground? JJ he's not exactly dancing through the streets." Morgan said, irritated.
"I know, but couldn't it panic him into doing something stupid?"
"Only if he actually has access to a television. Looking at where he was keeping Reid last time, he certainly didn't have that. So it's probably safe to assume that he doesn't have that again." Rossi commented.
"We only need to find out if anyone recognises him from anywhere. We don't need to mention what he has done, we just need information about him." Hotch explained.
"Okay. I'll set it up." JJ nodded, pulling out her phone, as she did it started ringing. "Agent Jareau." She answered quickly, she nodded a couple of times listening to the voice on the other end. "Okay... yes... brilliant, thank you." She cut off the call and turned quickly to the team. "We've got our warrants. One for the gym and the other for his flat."
The team were automatically on their feet. Rossi quickly designated their tasks.
"Prentiss, Morgan you go to the gym. See what you can find there. Hotch and I will take the house. JJ you set up that press conference and we'll meet back here when we're done."
They all nodded leaving quickly, not wanting to waste any more time. Reid had already been gone long enough.
JJ stood in front of the large crowd of reporters she had invited to the press conference. She felt incredibly nervous, but wasn't entirely sure why. She never really thought about the consequences a press conference could have for the victim. Now she did. She was nervous she would somehow make it worse for Reid, or somehow, get him killed.
She cleared her throat to speak and then stood up to the microphones.
"I am Agent Jareau with the Behavioural Analysis Unit of the FBI. We are wanting to speak to a man called Jason Turner in connection with a current investigation." She held up a photograph of Jason and the cameras quickly zoomed in. "He is six foot three inches tall and lives in the Virginia area. We are looking for information on his daily routine, where he might go, who he sees, what he does. If anybody has any information, however small, that may help us track him down, please contact us straight away." JJ then read out a helpline number. "It is extremely important that if you do see this man, you do not approach him. Just call the number provided. Thank you."
JJ then stepped away from the podium she was stood on, as reporters tried to swarm her. Asking all sorts of questions. She quickly hurried away from them, not wanting to answer anything. She ran towards the safety of the BAU offices and straight towards the elevator and pressed for her floor. When the doors closed, she broke down into shaking sobs. That had been the worst press conference she thought she'd ever have to give. She just hoped she hadn't made things worse for Reid.
When the doors opened on her floor, she noticed Hotch, Rossi, Morgan and Prentiss were all stood in the corridor, discussing something. She approached, quickly wiping her eyes.
"Press conference is done." She said shakily. They all turned to look at her, they looked rather pale.
"Good... you okay?" Hotch asked.
"Yeah, just found this one hard, you know." She said with a small, upset smile. "Did you find anything at the gym or the flat?"
They all looked at her forlornly.
"No." Prentiss answered. "Not a thing. No CCTV footage, nothing. He's either destroyed it, or never had it in the first place."
"So where does that leave us?" JJ asked.
"Leaves us two days down the line, with nothing. That's where it leaves us." Morgan said angrily.
"Not totally true." Garcia suddenly entered the conversation. "It seems the victims don't visit the same places and have no real connection but they do actually visit similar sorts of places. They exercise a lot, drink a lot of coffee and socialise in swanky bars."
"Have you got the names of these places, Garcia?" Rossi asked.
"Sir, who you talking to?" She said with a smile, handing him a piece of paper with a list of locations the victims had visited. Rossi smiled slightly, looking at the extensive list. "I have highlighted the places the victims visited in the lead up to their deaths."
"Thank god for that." Prentiss said, sneaking a look at the extensive list.
"Did you find anything else on Steve, Garcia?" Hotch asked.
"No, nothing. He seems clean to be honest. Either that or he has a completely different life on the side." She said half joking.
Hotch just nodded thoughtfully, not happy with the answer Garcia gave. They just kept coming up empty.
"We need to start visiting these places-" Hotch said.
"Wait." Prentiss said quickly. A thought had clearly entered her mind. "Jason kept Reid in that old abandoned building, right?" They nodded, brows furrowed. "And he had absolutely nothing there aside from what he set up in the basement."
"Yeah?" Morgan said, waiting for the revelation.
"Well where did he get the food from?" They all looked at her suddenly. "Each of those meals looked freshly cooked, complete with a tray, hot drink. It was clearly warm the food. There was no sign of a microwave. So, where did he get his food from?"
Morgan started nodding.
"Well Jason lives on the other side of town. That would be too much of a risk."
"But who lives just a block away?" Prentiss asked.
Hotch and Rossi looked at each other.
"Steve." They said together, shocked that they hadn't thought about this when they were in his flat. Where Reid was being held originally was literally a stone's throw away.
"So we think Steve's in on this now?" Morgan said angrily.
"He may not even know what he's doing. Jason might have tricked him into helping without him even realising." Hotch said.
"Sir." Agent Anderson approached. Hotch turned. "This arrived for you a few moments ago. It was handed to the desk in reception." He handed a packet to him. On the front was scrawled in big black marker pen, 'AGENT HOTCHNER'. The writing was clearly Jason's.
Anderson stared at the packet for a few moments, knowing the predicament the team was in, he was intrigued to know what was inside. Hotch looked at him hard.
"Thank you, Anderson." He said firmly, meaning it as an order to leave. He did, quickly.
They all stared at the envelope as Hotch's slightly shaking hands fumbled with the sealed flap. He got it open and pulled out a tape. He breathed deeply as the team shared concerned glances.
Before they could even discuss it, Hotch was making his way over to the conference room. The team chased after him.
"Do we really need to watch that?" Garcia asked, desperately as Hotch shoved the tape into the player.
"He obviously wants us to." Morgan said.
"Do we really have a choice?" Hotch said in a highly irritated, angry voice. The team looked at him, slightly shocked. This was really getting to Hotch, that was becoming very clear. Trying to ease the tension, Rossi sat down.
"No... no we don't." He said gently.
The team all looked to him, then sighed, sitting down. Their nerves absolutely shot.
"I dont know if I can do this." Garcia said, shaking.
"You don't have to stay baby girl." Morgan said gently, grabbing her hand.
"I need to see if he's okay." She said, shaking her head.
The picture switched on, and Jason moved to sit in line with the camera lens.
"Hello Agents Hotchner, Morgan, Rossi, Prentiss, Jareau and my lovely Garcia. When you receive this tape, Spencer Reid will be dead."
They all gasped and looked at each other in panic.
"No!" Garcia said desperately.
"But I thought I'd let him say his goodbyes. It's only fair isn't it. After all, I know how close he is to all of you." He said with a smile.
The screen then went to black.
The team couldn't say anything, they were too in shock. This couldn't be happening.
Then the camera turned back on and Reid was uncomfortably sat in front of it. He kept looking into it and shifting his gaze away. He had never liked cameras.
"Oh my god." Morgan said, taking in the state of his best friend. He looked terrible.
Reid took a glance over his shoulder. A voice could he heard, but it wasn't clear what it said. Reid nodded and looked back to the camera.
Reid stared into the camera, his lips and eyebrows twitched nervously. He swallowed, obviously trying to hold back his emotions. The team stared right back at him, devastated to see the state he was in. He was absolutely covered in blood, his bruises were dark and his face looked drawn and tired.
"Oh Reid." Garcia said sadly, tears sliding down her face.
His eyes were nervous and scared. Any signs of happiness had long since deserted them. He then dropped his gaze, furrowing his eyebrows for a second as he tried to think of what to say. He cleared his throat awkwardly.
"Hey..." He said uncomfortably, his voice breaking slightly. He cleared his throat again. "Hey... guys." His voice was a little stronger. He gave a quick lop-sided smile. "Um... I suppose when you're watching this," he cleared his throat again. "I'll be, um... gone." He furrowed his brows again. Hotch looked around at his team. They were all distraught, even Rossi had his forehead resting in his hand, a deep frown marring his face. Reid continued. "But uuuh, I have a few things that I... that I want to say... for the first time in my life... I'm uh, acting on feelings rather than logic and reasoning. So... make the most of it." He smiled slightly. He looked down, closing his eyes. "Firstly, to my Mom." His voice broke again. He swallowed again, trying to push down the emotions that were clearly threatening to take over. "I... I would appreciate it, if er, if you could pass on a message to her." He looked back into the camera lens, his eyes asking a favour. "Tell her... that I love her." His eyes were starting to water up. "And that... that I'm sorry I didn't write to her for a while. But... that I thought about her everyday... and that... I couldn't have asked for a better... kinder... or more loving person to be my Mom. And I really hope..." A tear escaped his eye. "That she was as proud of me... as I was of her."
A tear ran down Morgan's devastated face. He couldn't believe this was Reid saying goodbye. That this was the last thing he would ever see of his youngest colleague. Morgan's thoughts were interrupted when Reid's eyes suddenly became determined.
"She can never see this. You must promise me that you will never show this to her... I don't want her to remember me like this... I want her..." He took a deep, shaking breath. "I want her to think that... that I was happy..." Reid smiled slightly, a small laugh escaping his lips. "Tell her I got hit by a car coming home from some place nice... or..." He trailed off, dropping his gaze to the floor again.
A small sob escaped JJ's lips and Rossi put his arm around her, his eyes full of unshed tears.
"Just tell her it was quick... and I was happy." He nodded. "Promise?" Reid said in a small voice, looking up into the lens again.
"Promise." Rossi said quietly.
"Thanks Rossi." Reid gave a tight lipped smile to the camera. The team quickly glanced at Rossi in surprise. "What? I am still a profiler you know." Reid's attempt at a joke earned him a couple of small smiles from the group, which quickly turned into more tears. Reid then furrowed his brows again and looked down. He sat quietly for a good minute or so. The team sat in silence, just watching him, they couldn't tell if his eyes were open. Finally he looked up again, his face streaked with tears. His eyes opened and more escaped, tracing more lines down his face.
"I'm sorry." Reid spoke in a broken voice. "I'm so sorry to all of you... I didn't trust you. And I was stupid and wrong and..." His breath hitched. "And I need you to know that... I don't blame you." He wiped some tears away from his eyes. His hand was covered in dried and fresh blood, some of which wiped across his cheek.
"Why's he doing this?" Morgan said, frustrated and upset. He was feeling angry with Reid for even feeling the need to mention his behaviour.
"I pushed you guys away... and I'm so sorry. And I don't want you thinking that I... died..." His voice shook. "Still mad at you."
"Oh god." Garcia gasped, then broke down, sobbing.
"I was so rude to you all... I just want you to know that... that I didn't mean it. I needed someone to blame and... and it was you..." His face became very serious and his voice steadied. "And I know you will all be blaming yourselves. I didn't want to be stopped from leaving the hospital. So I made sure I wasn't. That's my fault. Not yours. So please, in my... in my memory... don't blame yourselves." The team all glanced at each other, at the mention of his memory. Morgan covered his eyes with his hand as tears escaped them.
Reid's gaze dropped again and the team watched his shoulders rise and fall as he took in a deep breath.
"Garcia." She looked up in shock, her mouth falling open, listening intently. He breathed out, lifting his gaze again. "You are... one of the kindest... most amazing and... and caring people I have ever met." She let out a distressed breath as the tears started anew. "Every time I speak to you, you make me want to smile... and that's really a gift. That even when we've been in some of the darkest places, you always pull everyone through... You'll be an amazing Mom one day and even though they won't..." He took a shaky breath. "They won't know who I am... You must always tell them that I thought any child of yours is the luckiest child in the world... and I'm a genius... so they can't argue." Garcia broke down into sobs.
"Rossi." Reid continued. Taking another deep breath. Rossi's watery eyes shut for a moment as he tried to hold back the tears that were sure to come as Reid spoke to him. "Working with you... has been a childhood dream come true... I... I never thought I would ever get to meet David Rossi." Reid smiled. "But to actually get to know you... as a person as well as a professional... I can honestly say, has been my privilege." Reid's voice started to break again. "You are nothing like I hoped you'd be..." Rossi furrowed his brows. "You surpassed my expectations completely." Rossi's face twitched as he tried to keep his emotions under control. "Every time I work with you, I feel truly respected..." Reid swallowed. "And I can honestly say... you have..." A tear ran down Reid's face. "You have been my role model." Reid dropped his head down to compose himself. Rossi turned away from the screen for a few moments and put his hand to his eyes. His shoulders shook slightly as he silently cried. They both composed themselves at the same time. Reid wiped his eyes and continued, his voice a lot stronger. "Aside from the fame, you are the person I figured I would try to be like when..." Reid's eyes went slightly cold. "When I was older... but... I-" Reid huffed, finding it difficult to say what he really wanted to say. "Just know that you are and always will be my role model. You're a true gentleman and I have appreciated every second I've ever worked with you."
Shaking his head in disbelief, Rossi tried to say something in return. But his voice wouldn't work. He was too upset. Prentiss put a hand on his shoulder.
"Emily." Reid continued. "You are the strongest woman I have ever had the pleasure of knowing... and one of the most intelligent." Prentiss smiled, tears running down her cheeks. "I will never forget the... the support you have given me over the years. You've always... always protected me... Even when I haven't wanted you to." Reid put his head down, trying desperately not to cry. But he couldn't stop himself. His hand came up to cover his eyes as he finally broke down. He turned away from the camera and looked to someone across the room.
"Can I just..." He gestured that he wanted a break away from the camera.
"No." Came the sharp response.
"For god's sake, give him a minute." Prentiss whispered.
Trapped uncomfortably in front of the camera, Reid turned further away from the lens to give himself some privacy. He didn't like crying in front of people. But he had done so much of it recently, he barely thought it mattered any more. He used to tell himself never to cry in front of anyone, and he'd stuck to that for most of his life. Dealing with bullies had taught him those skills. But now, as he was reaching the end of his life, he no longer cared. But he still kept a tiny bit of dignity by turning away.
"Turn around." Jason said from off screen. Reid didn't move. Suddenly, Jason's body came into the camera's view. He grabbed Reid tightly by the hair, making him gasp. "You'll fucking listen to me, Spence!" He pulled his head up so he was looking up at him. Reid made no move to fight him off. "If not, then they'll be watching an entirely different kind of show." He ran his hand down Reid's cheek and traced his lips with his finger. Reid blushed, closing his eyes.
"He never stops." Rossi said in exasperation.
Tightening the hand in Reid's hair, he shoved him off the chair towards the camera.
"GET BACK IN THE FUCKING CHAIR!" Jason screamed. Reid quickly got himself up and into the chair once again. This time he was facing the camera. His eyes nervous and embarrassed. "Now you know the rules, Spence. Don't break them again. Or your team," Jason leaned down so his face was in shot. He pulled Reid's head to one side and kissed into his neck. Reid closed his eyes, deeply ashamed. "Will have..." He reached his free hand around onto Reid's chest and it worked it's way down his body. "A completely different memory of you." Reid gasped again, screwing his eyes tightly shut.
Morgan looked away, sickened.
"Why's he not doing anything?" Morgan said in frustration.
"What's the point? The only control he has is what happens to him before... before" She was going to say 'he dies' but the words just wouldn't come. "... I would do the same thing." Prentiss said, sadly.
Hotch watched all of this with a stern expression. All he could think was how badly he had failed Reid. After Gideon left, he swore to himself he would protect Reid at all costs, but now, he was watching the young man coming to terms with his own death. It all seemed so unreal.
Jason suddenly released his captive.
"Now... carry on. There's a good boy." He kissed him quickly on the cheek and rushed out of shot.
Reid was visibly shaken up. He breathed deeply for a good thirty seconds to calm his nerves.
"Sorry." Reid said, his gaze nervously glancing up at the camera.
"He shouldn't be sorry." JJ said with a sob. Rossi once again, put his arm around her.
Reid kept his gaze low for the moment taking more deep breaths to remind himself of where he was before.
"Emily..." His voice was hoarse. "I just want you to know, that without you... I probably wouldn't be here, right now." Then he suddenly looked up at the camera. "No, I don't mean here. But I mean... alive. You have been my... my saviour. On more than one occasion. How you repay someone for that, I guess I'll never know." Tears started to escape his eyes again. "I just hope that telling you that you... you're friendship... everything you are... you've changed my life for the better. And when I thought that... that you were gone... you left a huge hole in my life. And I know I was angry... but I don't ever want you to think I didn't want you back..." He smiled, more tears running down his face. "You've been the best big sister I could ask for. And I'll miss you." He nodded, wiping tears away from his face again with his bloody hand.
Prentiss looked to Garcia who was still weeping and finally she let her barriers down and cried.
"JJ." Reid said quietly. JJ looked up almost in shock. She was dreading this.
"I don't know if I can do this." She whispered.
"I know you're upset... but I really need you to listen... Please listen." JJ tried to compose herself as best she could. "You know how I feel about you JJ... I trust you with my life. I feel a part of your family... You um... you are a true friend... I admire your strength but... but also your warmth. You're not afraid to be human... and that... that has taught me so much... And allowing me to be Henry's godfather... gave me one of the best days of my life." JJ broke out in a sob. "I, um... I wish," Reid's voice cracked with emotion again. "I wish I could be around to watch him grow... to help him through school and... and see what sort of a man he grows into... But sometimes, things just don't work out that way... and life doesn't always go the way..." He stopped, taking his gaze away from the camera again, having a deep breath. "I need you to find something, JJ. Go to my apartment, under my bed. There's something there." JJ glanced around at her colleagues, suddenly desperate to go to Reid's apartment. "I was saving it for when Henry goes to school, so will you please give it to him then?" She nodded, more tears sliding down her face as she thought of a life without Reid. "Tell him... that his godfather was very proud of him. And he can do anything he wants with his life... He's capable of anything. Please JJ... please tell him."
"I will." She cried out, suddenly moving up to the screen and stroking Reid's face as she cried. She just wanted to comfort him. If he had to die, she didn't want him to have died alone with Jason. Was that too much to ask?
"And please... don't ever tell him about this." Jason's laugh could be heard in the background. Anger flared up in JJ's eyes for a few moments. Reid tightened his lips obviously trying to ignore his tormentor. He leaned closer into the camera, his big hazel eyes staring right into the lens. "If I can't be perfect in death, when can I be, right?" He gave a small nervous smile and leaned back again. He cleared his throat. "You mean the world to me, JJ." Tears started running down his face again. "And knowing that you..." He cleared his throat again. "You have been such a big part of my life... for the last few years... it just... it gives me all the comfort I need... I really am the luckiest person in the world."
JJ stroked the screen again, tracing his bruised cheek.
"Oh Spence." She doubled over crying hard. Prentiss stood up straight away and took her into a tight hug, trying her best to calm her down. The irony of what he had just said stuck in the front of their minds.
Reid then wiped all of his tears away. They waited with baited breath to see who he would address next.
"Hotch." His voice was no more than a raspy whisper.
Morgan took a deep breath, he was being left til last.
"I really don't know how to express how much you have given me... I was always told I could do anything when I was a kid... although I knew, in theory, I could... I never really believed I would... Your... belief in me... made my life worth living." His voice started to break again as the emotions welled up inside of him. "I don't know how to ever repay you." Hotch's eyebrows twitched and water started welling up in his eyes. He brought his hand to his mouth, trying to shield himself. Reid's head dropped down and he breathed deeply again. Controlling his nerves. "You are the strongest man I have ever met. After everything you've been through... being attacked... losing Haley... whilst also looking after Jack... and then all of us... I really don't know how you do it. You um... You lead by example... and..." Reid sniffed and wiped his eyes, trying to be strong. "You couldn't have set me a better one... I just hope..." A sob suddenly broke from Reid's lips. He rubbed his eyes quickly in a stress. "I just hope that... when you think of me... you'll think of me as a strong person... If I can be remembered as being even an eighth as strong as you are... I... would be happy."
A tear slid down Hotch's stoic face. He couldn't believe Reid's life was ending like this.
"And I know you'll blame yourself... But you can't... That is all I ask of you, Hotch... My... my last request, I suppose... Don't blame yourself." Reid stared hard into the camera, knowing that Hotch would take him seriously. He hated to guilt trip people, but if something good could come out of his death then this might be it. The team all looked to Hotch who was staring right back at Reid. Suddenly his face crumpled slightly and tears started leaking from his eyes. He turned away, finally sitting down at the table.
"Morgan." Reid said, slightly apprehensively. Morgan's eyes looked up to meet Reid's, his jaw was set and his eyes shined with tears. "I just want to say... how sorry I am... for everything. Don't argue." Reid said quickly. Morgan was just about to open his mouth to protest before he was cut off by his friend on the video. "I let you down." Reid started crying again. "It's taken me, all of this to... to realise how little I express how I feel. And that's why... why I pushed you away." Reid furrowed his brows. "I had... all of these... feelings, that I couldn't understand or express... I was scared... Scared that... if I told you how I felt... I somehow wouldn't be me any more. If that makes sense? And I'm sorry."
"You got nothing to be sorry for." Morgan replied, wiping his eyes. Appreciating Reid's honesty. They all knew that was his issue, but they would never have pulled him up on it.
"Morgan..." Reid breathed out a shuddering breath. "You are my best friend... I never liked that term... I always thought it was discriminatory... But I can't think of a more appropriate way of describing you." Morgan smiled slightly, he knew it was hard for Reid to express his feelings, so the fact that he was being so open was a real rarity. "I've never had a best friend, 'til I... 'til I met you. And you... you seem to have this way of making me feel like... I'm normal." Reid breathed out an amused laugh. "You taught me how to trust, Morgan... and that's the greatest gift that anyone's ever given me." Reid sat thoughtfully for a few moments. Morgan watched him intently. "You've been like... a brother, to me." Morgan nodded, tears shedding again. "You've had my back the whole time I've worked with you. And..." Reid lowered his head and sniffed. "And I let you down. Instead of talking to you, I pushed you away and instead of trusting you, I ignored you." Reid looked into the lens. "But I couldn't help it. I'm sorry. Morgan... I've told you some of my biggest secrets... I've laughed with you, I've argued with you, I've nearly died with you..." Suddenly he went very quiet. "I know you're angry. And I know..." He looked sheepishly over to Jason, "You won't stop 'til he's locked up. But you've gotta let me go, Morgan..." Morgan shook his head, tears rolling down his face.
"No, kid." He muttered.
"I know you don't want to... but you've done all you can for me now." Reid's shoulders shook as his emotions got the better of him for a few moments. "Oh god." He whispered. "This is so hard." He put his face in his hands and rubbed. Reid looked back up again, his emotions now completely under control. His mood swinging between detached calmness and desperate upset. Prentiss clearly wasn't the only one who could compartmentalise. "You've protected me since the day I met you... But you can't now... For your own sake... you've got to let me go."
Morgan kept shaking his head.
"No, kid. No, I can't do that."
"I guess what I've been trying to say to you guys, for the first time ever... is that um... you're the closest thing to a normal family I have ever had... And that, because of each and every one of you, my life has been more... fulfilling... and happy than... than I ever thought I deserved." Reid swallowed. "And I'm sorry it has taken me this long to say it... I should have made sure you knew it every day of your lives... At least you'll know it for the rest." He squeezed his eyes shut as the tears came falling once again.
The whole team were sat watching his distressed face, desperate to comfort him, knowing that Reid had most likely taken his last breath hours before they knew. That thought killed them. They were already grieving for him before he'd even finished his goodbyes. All of them were crying now, Hotch included. However silently, the tears were still there. And he wasn't ashamed of it. Reid was almost like a son. He was the baby of the team and for him to die under such horrific and shameful circumstances sickened Hotch to the core.
Reid was really weeping now, the fear showing in his body.
"I don't want to leave you guys." His shoulders shook. "But I don't have a choice any more. And I told myself I'd be strong and here I am falling apart in front of you." He took some deep breaths. It helped a little.
"Oh sweetie." Garcia moved to stroke his face on the screen. Still the tears were running heavily from her eyes.
"Spence! It's time." Jason called from the sidelines.
"No!" JJ called.
"Oh god!" Garcia said desperately.
Reid looked directly at the camera, his eyes sad.
"I... I love you all... more than you'll ever know." He swallowed thickly.
"We love you too, kid." Morgan said softly. His face streaked with tear tracks. The others also responded with their own little message.
"Bye" It was barely a whisper.
Jason's body suddenly came into shot again. His hand went straight to Reid's shoulder. The young man instantly tensed. But his eyes were sad, resigned to his fate. His gaze dropped away from the lens.
"No, no, no, no, no." Garcia kept wailing. Morgan grabbed her and took her into hug, they both kept their eyes on the television, comforted slightly by the touch.
The hand then moved, a blind fold was then tied around Reid's eyes. He jumped at the intrusion.
"What the hell's he doing?" Morgan said angrily. Annoyed that Reid was still being toyed with.
Jason then moved out of sight of the camera. Reid sat still as a stone, clearly unsure of where Jason was either. He was completely tense.
Reid frowned. He hated this game. But Jason loved it.
Reid licked his lips nervously.
Suddenly he was violently thrown sideways off his chair by a hard kick to the shoulder. He gave out a startled yelp.
"Oh my god, no, no, no, no..." Garcia hid her face in Morgan's chest. Reid could no longer be seen on the camera and Jason was seen moving across towards him. The sound of Reid being beaten blasted out through the television.
JJ covered her ears. She couldn't hear her friend die.
"Turn it off." JJ asked. "Please turn it off."
She was ignored.
The sounds of Reid being hit and kicked suddenly stopped, and he began coughing. Seemingly trying to recover his breath. Jason's slimy voice could be heard.
"Now Spence. We can do this the hard way, or the easy way... Get on the bed." He ordered. The clink of chains were heard. "Now I know you probably just wanna get this over and done with. But I wanna make this special. This is the last time we will be together, Spence. I'm gonna fuckin' destroy you." He breathed out. His voice filled with innuendo.
"Oh my god, oh my god, turn it off, turn it off!" Garcia was shouting now.
"We can't watch this." JJ repeated over and over.
Jason then came up to the camera, looking directly into the lens.
"Nice try BAU... but I'm afraid..." He turned the camera so they could see Reid bound and blindfolded on a blood covered mattress, his whole body shaking in fear. Not knowing whether he was going to die or be raped. "You lose." The screen went black.
The team just stared in shock at the black screen in front of them. When Reid was talking, they felt so close to him. As if by watching the video, they were at least doing something comforting for him. But now the video had finished, that only meant one thing. Reid was dead. And most likely had been for a good few hours.
Garcia wept uncontrollably. JJ was stoic, lost in her own devastating thoughts. Morgan still had his arms around Garcia. She was his priority right now. He would think about himself later. Rossi wiped tear after tear away from his eyes. Prentiss had her head in her hands. In complete disbelief. And Hotch, he kept staring at the TV, hoping something useful would suddenly flash up and they would know where their youngest team member is... or was.
"There's still a chance that he might be alive." Hotch said robotically.
"Don't." Morgan warned. Mindful that any of them could take that tiny bit of hope and cling to it like it was the last thing on earth. He'd seen first hand how paralysing hope could be. He stood and left the room, slamming the door loudly behind him.
Any hope was now gone.