Reasonable Doubt

by manwathiel elensar

When Reid starts behaving strangely, the team expect the worst - he's losing his mind. But is that all there is to it? And will the team spot the the warning signs before it's too late? No slash. Please R&R! Warnings: Non-con, Abuse, violence.

23. Chapter 23

Sorry, sorry, sorry! Forever to update, I know. I have been working on this chapter for ages! And it only ends at Reid's third day in hospital. Eek! This chapter is 39 pages long. It was 50. However, I wrote 11 pages of Reid's fifth day in hospital then found myself having to fill in the gaps between. So had I actually managed to do that, it probably would have been around 70 pages long – which is a bit excessive. The other scene I have written will be posted in the next chapter. Thank you for all of your lovely reviews. I haven't had chance to actually reply to them as I have been working hard and writing harder so I will come back to you I promise. Thank you so much for your patience. I hope you're not too angry ;) or bored with this chapter. It is quite slow moving. Anyway, I'll let you make up your own minds. ENJOY!

Reid was dozing a little when a knock came at the door. He barely roused himself. He was so tired and the relaxing effects of the Vicodin were lulling him into sleep. He felt a pang of irritation when he was awoken, just as he was starting to drift off. He didn't speak, he didn't seem to need to, as the next moment the door opened and an older female poked her head round the door.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I really hope I didn't wake you." She said with a small smile. Her eyes were piercing and her gaze lingered on Reid's face. She was clearly the psychologist.

With this realisation, Reid felt even more irritated. He was just about to get a welcome reprieve from his mind only to be awoken by some woman who wanted to search and examine his life. Bring up all past and present issues. Reid huffed. The last thing he wanted to do was talk to this woman. So he decided he wouldn't. But he met her gaze, unflinchingly. He wanted her to feel uncomfortable. As uncomfortable as he felt at the prospect of her trudging through his life.

She simply smiled again. "I'm Ruth. Dr. Marston told you I was coming? I'm from the Psychology department." She moved towards Reid hoping for some sort of interaction. All he did was turn his face away in disinterest. She was not deterred. "Now I just want to explain to you what the purpose of my visit is." She moved to sit down in the chair next to Reid's bed. "I'm from the trauma team. I have been working with people who have been through traumatic experiences for the last eight years. I know it has been explained to you that you will not be discharged until you have received a psychological evaluation. And that's what I'm here to do. I'm not here to judge you, I'm not here to force you to talk about anything. I'm just here for the initial process. A simple evaluation so that we can direct you along the right path to help you towards recovery... Now does that sound alright?" She leaned forward a little, trying to make eye contact with Reid, but he avoided it. Keeping his gaze fixed firmly on the door.

Ruth took out her first paper, trying to appear nonchalant. "Today will not be my only visit. I will come to see you on a number of occasions whilst you are here." Reid dropped his head back, taking his gaze to the ceiling in an exasperated manner. Ruth continued, regardless. "What we discuss during the sessions will be entirely up to you and kept completely confidential. But I must also explain to you that if you do say something that leads me to believe that harm may come to you or another person then it is my obligation to report that. Do you understand?" She asked kindly. Her brows furrowed a little. "Dr. Reid?" He looked at her, his eyes cold. "Do you understand that?" She asked again. Reid just blinked at her, then turned his head away again.

Ruth bit her lip thoughtfully. She had to continue with this. "I will also discuss with you a variety of options that will be available to you after your discharge from hospital." She sat in silence, staring at Reid waiting for a response. He was rudely looking in the other direction not saying a word.

Ruth sighed. "Okay, let me take some details from you. Your name is Dr. Spencer Reid, right?" No answer. Another sigh. "It says here your date of birth is October 9th, 1981. Is this correct?" She looked at Reid again, waiting for a reply. He, once again, didn't answer. He was now staring at the door, almost like a moody child. Ruth stared at him for a few moments longer, then glanced at the papers in the her file. She swallowed, closing the file then looked back to her patient.

She spoke softly. "You don't want me here do you?"

Reid let out a small, amused huff of breath.

"What made you think that?" He replied in a slightly sarcastic tone.

She weighed him up and down for a few moments, analysing him. Her brows furrowed thoughtfully.

"What's making you so uncomfortable, Spencer?" She wanted to understand why he was so reluctant to speak to her. Dealing in trauma, she met a lot of unwilling patients. But not normally ones who wouldn't even confirm their own name. Most, out of some level of respect, would be polite and answer her questions until they became uncomfortable. Not just ignore her from the very start.

"I'm fine." Reid snapped back quickly. Still not looking at her.

Ruth smiled a little.

"And you think I'm going to tell you that you're not?"

She stared at him, waiting for a response, but all she received was silence. This was going nowhere. He clearly wasn't ready to speak to anyone, perhaps his first day in hospital was too soon. After all, he would be in for a few days.

Ruth stood up smiling at Reid, waiting to see if he would add anything else. He stared at the door, he was still as stone and his face was tense. She knew that if she were to press him any further it wouldn't end well. She moved to the door. "Okay, I think we'll leave this for today. I will come back later in the week." Still no eye contact, no answer, nothing. "It was nice meeting you, Spencer."

"Dr. Reid." He answered quickly, finally looking at her. His gaze was cold and hard, he was clearly trying to put her on edge, hoping that she wouldn't come back.

"Dr. Reid." She reiterated simply, then turned, opened the door and left.

---

Morgan entered Reid's room bearing two cups of coffee. It was early in the evening of Reid's first full day in hospital. Given that he wanted Reid to sleep at some point, the coffee probably wasn't a good idea. But he couldn't resist. At this point he would do anything just to return Reid to a state of normality.

Morgan wasn't surprised to find Reid's eyes wide open, despite the dark circles that suggested the young man was in need of a good sleep. Reid's gaze met his for a few short moments, then dropped down to the take-out coffees in his hands.

"My treat." Morgan winked. His eyes twinkling with a hint of humour.

"Thanks." Reid said simply, taking the offered coffee. He stared down at it for a few moments, appearing to consider it, before lifting it to his lips and taking a sip.

Morgan smiled again, a little amused huff escaping as he did so. Reid was always very particular about his coffee, he was glad to see that some things never changed.

He looked at Reid for a few moments longer before taking a sip of his coffee.

"JJ sends her love." He said kindly. "She wanted to come and see you but Henry is sick."

"Sick?" Reid said, his brows furrowing with concern.

"Yeah, she says he's running a fever. She was going to come anyway, but I told her not to leave him. She said she'll be here tomorrow."

"There really is no need." Reid said, it clearly wasn't only for JJ's benefit.

"She'll be here." Morgan stated. He had no doubt of it.

Reid knew he wasn't going to win this one. So he took another sip of his coffee. Then he shifted uncomfortably.

"You alright?" Morgan raised an eyebrow at him.

Reid blushed a little.

"Yeah."

"Did the psychologist come to see you today?" Morgan asked carefully.

"Yep." Reid said, nonchalantly.

Morgan waited for a few moments, expectantly.

"...And?"

"It was fine." Reid lied. He knew the amount of discussion it would cause if it came out that Reid hadn't actually spoken to her at all. He couldn't be bothered with the interrogation. Besides, Morgan had never taken counsel from anyone in his life. So what right did he have to advise others to do so?

"Oh..." Morgan exclaimed, surprised. "Good... that's great... So are you seeing them again?"

"No doubt." Reid said with a tight smile. Then sipped at his coffee again.

Morgan eyed Reid for a few moments, then smiled a little, relieved that if he wasn't speaking to him, he was at least speaking to somebody else.

"So, you managed to get any sleep today, kid?"

Reid scoffed.

"Oh yeah, loads. Between the visits, the doctors coming in and prodding at me every couple of hours and the psychologist, it's just been one long snooze." He took another sip of his coffee.

Morgan raised an eyebrow, a smirk crossed his lips. He shook his head, he always appreciated Reid's sarcasm.

"Well I'll tell you what, man. Just be glad you've not had Garcia on the phone to you all day. I've never heard so many cookie recipes in my life. I'm sure that woman's house must be made out of ginger bread or somethin'."

"She lives in a flat." Reid remarked. Always quick to be pedantic.

"Okay then genius." Morgan grinned. "A flat, made out of ginger bread."

"Oatmeal and raisin."

"Huh?" Morgan furrowed his brows.

"Her favourite. Oatmeal and raisin." Reid looked seriously at Morgan.

"You're tryin' to make me slap you." Morgan said, as a gentle joke.

Reid laughed a little, a small smile gracing his lips. It warmed Morgan's heart. But then Reid shifted uncomfortably again. Morgan gave Reid a scrutinizing gaze.

"You alright?"

"Yeah." Reid said, his cheeks blushing slightly. Morgan raised an eyebrow.

"You sure?"

Reid bit his lip, looking embarrassed. He dropped his head and looked up at Morgan shyly.

"I... I need to, um... go to the bathroom." Reid's cheeks flushed even more.

"Oh." Morgan nodded in realisation. Understanding Reid's embarrassment completely. "Do you want me to get someone?"

Reid closed his eyes and huffed a little, seemingly in disappointment. Mostly with himself.

"I guess."

"Okay, no problem." Morgan said, trying to make this seem as normal as possible. "I'll be back in a minute."

Reid merely nodded. Morgan swiftly left the room and Reid sat in bed, wringing his hands nervously. He had been dreading this moment.

Morgan was entering the room again, followed by a male nurse. Reid cringed inwardly and Morgan shot him apologetic look. The man was clearly all he could find.

"So what's the problem?" The male nurse asked. Reid hadn't met him before.

"Um..." Reid bit his lip again. "I.. uh... need to go to the bathroom."

"You are aware you have a catheter in aren't you?" The man quickly countered.

"You do?" Morgan looked at Reid in surprise. No one had mentioned anything and he hadn't seen it. Reid shot him a quick, nervous glance. The subject was obviously a touchy one.

"Yes." He answered quickly, his lips then straightened into a tight embarrassed line. The catheter clearly wasn't going to be any help. Reid looked to the bathroom. "Will you help me?" He asked in a small voice.

The male nurse looked from Reid, to the bathroom and back again. Realisation crossing his features.

"Oh... I'm sorry.." He said shaking his head. "You can't get out of bed, I'm afraid. It'll have to be the bed pan." The nurse said matter of factly.

Reid blushed and Morgan looked at him sympathetically then dropped his gaze respectfully, feeling that Reid was already under the spotlight enough.

The nurse moved towards the bed slightly. "Do you want me to get it for you?"

Reid chewed on his lip. He didn't want to do this. Could he not just get out of bed? Could he not just be given that tiny shred of self-respect? Jason really didn't know how much he'd taken from him.

"Do I have a choice." Reid said flatly. It was a statement rather than a question.

The nurse gave a small smile, glanced quickly to Morgan then left the room. Reid and Morgan stayed in uncomfortable silence, with Morgan doing everything to act nonchalant, which in turn, made everything more uncomfortable. Reid's eyes were starting to tear up in frustration when the nurse returned with another nurse. Another male nurse. Reid quickly blinked away the tears and sat up. Trying to retain some pride.

Morgan eyed him with concern but moved out of the way of the two nurses.

"Okay, Spencer. You ready?"

"Dr. Reid." Morgan corrected quickly. The male nurse shot him a look.

"Sorry. Dr. Reid then." He said curtly.

Reid licked his lips nervously and nodded.

"I'm just gonna wait outside, okay kid?" Morgan moved towards the door, despite noticing the slight look of panic that flickered across Reid's features. Again, Reid nodded, swallowing thickly.

Morgan opened the door and exited the room. He headed straight across the corridor to the bench opposite, sat down and dropped his head into his hands.

He hadn't even considered how much shame and embarrassment could be conjured up from simply needing to go to the bathroom. He was also annoyed at the lack of female nurses on the staff today. The last thing Reid needed was two men pawing at him. Morgan shook his head. How many other seemingly simple activities would now be affected and tainted by Jason's cruelty? How many times would that nervous look cross Reid's face when he was being left in a room with another man? How would he cope with doing his job? Interviewing sadists, psychopaths, sociopaths? Morgan rubbed a hand down his face. Trying his best not to write his friend off before he'd had chance to help himself. But he just couldn't see it. Reid was strong, one of the strongest people he knew. Although he didn't look it. But certain things, Reid just wasn't meant to deal with. Hankel had nearly cost him not only his life, but his career too. Morgan just wasn't sure whether Reid could pull through this one. How were you supposed to tell someone that this could make you a better person. There's not a person on the planet who wouldn't take being a worse person to avoid being raped.

The door opened and the two male nurses emerged. One huffed out an exasperated breath slightly, not noticing Morgan across the corridor. The two men leaned against the wall outside of Reid's room.

"Jesus Christ." The younger of the two said, shaking his head.

"I know." The other man nodded in understanding. "Hard work isn't it?"

Morgan's brows furrowed at the comments and anger bubbled through his veins.

"Yep." The young nurse replied, a disturbed look on his face. "You know what I don't get though?... How does an FBI agent get themselves into that?"

The other man raised his eyebrows, a small unamused smile gracing his lips.

"God only knows. You'd never think it would you."

"Do you know what I don't get?" Morgan asked, suddenly in front of the men, they appeared slightly taken a back. "How two insensitive bastards such as you ever became nurses."

"Oh my god." The young nurse was staring at Morgan in shock. "I'm so so sorry. I didn't mean it like that. I was- I was just... talking. I'm really sorry.

The older nurse stood his ground a little more. He obviously felt bad, but didn't feel the need to attack Morgan with apologetic verbal diarrhoea. Morgan just shook his head in disgust, growling a little.

"You should think about what you say, man." He pointed at the young nurse, not threateningly but it was certainly a warning. Morgan's gaze softened slightly as thoughts of Reid's pain entered his mind. "He doesn't need that." Morgan moved away from the two men as tears clouded his eyes and he went to sit back down on the bench.

The young man dropped his gaze to the floor.

"I know, I'm sorry." He said, defeated.

The older man nodded.

"I'm sorry too. It wasn't meant the way it sounded." He stepped towards Morgan, moving to sit next to him on the bench. He suddenly felt the need to explain himself, the comments really weren't meant the way they sounded. He took a deep breath before speaking to the man, who now had his head firmly back in his hands. "This is... a strange situation." The older nurse spoke honestly. Morgan looked at him as if he had dropped off another planet. "Look... we don't get rape victims in here often. People here aren't trained to deal with this. We have the psychology department, but how often do you really think they deal with internal patients? Generally, we don't have to deal with trauma in this sense... Please believe that we're not being insensitive. We're just trying to get our heads round it... we have to talk to each other or else we wouldn't be able to do our jobs sometimes. I'm sure you understand that Agent."

Morgan eyed the man carefully, then nodded.

"Yeah, I get that, man. I've been there. I know what it's like to feel uncomfortable with a situation you're working with. But you gotta understand, I don't wanna hear you talkin' about my man like that. I mean, what was the whole FBI comment about, kid?" He looked to the younger nurse now. "Why would you say that? What difference does it make?"

"It makes all the difference, agent." The older man spoke strongly. "You don't realise how out of the ordinary this is for everyone on this ward. To have an FBI agent as an inpatient. We see you guys portrayed on TV and through your press releases... books, whatever. It's another world to us, agent. It's just taking a little bit of time to get our heads round it all."

Morgan furrowed his brows. The FBI had become so normal to him over the years that the man's comments seemed completely ridiculous. But he also knew that this was a perception shared by many people across the country. He only needed to listen to how many people exclaimed 'FBI?' when they were being approached for interview.

"I know. I know." Morgan said, nodding his head in understanding. "But that's my colleague in there. His name is Spencer Reid. He is not some character out of a film. Right now, he's not an FBI agent. He's just a distressed victim of a violent crime. He's scared and he's upset and he needs understanding and he needs protecting. Regardless of the job he does, it doesn't mean he'll react any better to this. He is just like any other patient. He has the same needs, the same fears." A tear ran down Morgan's face.

"I know." The older man said. "And we understand that. Trust me, we do. I've been nursing a long time... and whilst I've never taken care of someone under these circumstances, I do know what my patients need. I'm sorry you felt we disrespected your colleague. That really was not our intention."

Morgan nodded, sighing. Before he could speak again, a buzzer sounded and a little red light flashed above Reid's door. The older nurse who, according to his name tag, was named Phillip, looked to the younger one as he knocked on the door.

Phillip then turned to Morgan. "We'll be back out in a minute."

Morgan nodded again in response, watching them carefully as they entered Reid's room. They seemed genuine enough. He just couldn't help this over protective streak that kicked in whenever Reid was in trouble. He wanted nothing more than to be in the room with Reid at that moment, just to support him around the strange men who were no doubt making him incredibly uncomfortable. However unintentionally. Morgan sighed to himself. What right did he have to be so protective? The one time Reid actually needed protecting, he hadn't helped him. Yet now he was lashing out at two nurses who had done little more than express their disgust at the treatment of his colleague. He felt like a fraud. Only being protective of Reid at times when it really didn't matter, earning his self-respect from these small acts so that when something major did happen, he could look back at all of the times he had protected him. No matter how insignificant they were.

Morgan sat depressively for the next few minutes, until the younger nurse suddenly emerged from Reid's room, he ran straight over towards Morgan.

"We need your help." He said quickly, motioning for Morgan to follow him. Panic flashed in Morgan's eyes and he was straight up, almost running after the nurse who was fast returning to Reid's room.

When Morgan entered the room, Phillip was stood by the bed talking softly to a hyperventilating Reid. His chest was rising and falling at a remarkable rate and his eyes were wide in fear. He was having a panic attack.

The younger nurse looked helplessly to Morgan. "We can't calm him down!"

"Mark, keep your voice down." Phillip hissed. Aware that the last thing his patient needed was panic from the nurses.

Morgan was suddenly at Reid's side and automatically grabbed his hand, Reid tried to pull it away, but Morgan held on. He kept his grip as soft and controlled as he could, trying not to squeeze his damaged knuckles.

"Reid. I'm here with you, man... Take some deep breaths, calm down. No one is going to hurt you." He said softly.

"I know... I know... I know." Reid kept repeating through his panicked breaths. "Can't... breathe..." The fear in Reid's eyes was terrifying. He looked like he was about to have a heart attack.

"Reid, listen to me. You need to get your breathing under control. Take a deep breath in..." Morgan tried breathing in and out slowly to encourage Reid to do the same. "And out..."

Reid tried to copy Morgan, but his heart was pounding too fast. His chest was in agony but he couldn't help his breathing. He felt like he was going to die.

Reid was squeezing Morgan's hand so tightly, it was making the older man wince.

Morgan, noticing that Reid wasn't following his instruction tried again. "Reid. You are safe. Nothing bad is going to happen to you." He knew he needed to reassure him and give him positive thoughts.

Reid nodded frantically.

"Say it to yourself, Reid. You're safe."

Through panicked breaths, Reid repeated the words over and over.

"I'm safe... I'm safe..." He was nodding still. The pressure not relenting from Morgan's hand. The breathing was not slowing down. Reid must have been in agony. "I'm going... to die..." Reid closed his eyes.

"No, Reid... No you're not. It's just a panic attack, man." He took his other hand and covered Reid's with it in a comforting gesture. "It'll all be over in a few minutes... I promise."

Reid nodded again, desperately.

Morgan whispered calmly. "You're fine... you're fine." Reid's hair was starting to stick to his face now, Morgan stroked it back off his forehead. "Tell yourself... you are fine." Morgan ordered, not harshly, but firmly.

Reid nodded quickly, over and over.

"I'm fine... I'm fine..." He choked out between gasps. Tears were starting to run down his face, but Morgan was sure it was more from the pain and the fear of dying than anything else. "I'm fine..." After a good minute of repeating the words over and over, he was finally starting to sound like he was believing it. His breathing calmed down a little and his chest wasn't pumping away quite so violently.

"Now take deep breaths..." Morgan suggested. Once again talking him through the deep breathing. It took a good ten minutes before Reid was actually breathing relatively normally. It was still heavy and laboured but at least he wasn't hyperventilating. He kept muttering the words 'I'm fine' to himself. He slumped forwards as much as his injured ribs would allow, his head dropping in exhaustion.

"Good job." Phillip said with quiet admiration. "I don't think we could have done that." He said honestly.

Morgan looked up, a slightly exasperated sigh leaving his lips as he did so.

"A familiar face helps a lot." Morgan said knowingly. When the nurses were clearly waiting for an explanation, he answered. "My aunty used to have panic attacks a lot. I used to talk her through them. Positive thinking, reassurance and deep breathing. Works almost every time... Well at least it has done so far."

Morgan felt Reid squeeze on his hand and his attention was drawn back to his colleague.

"I'm sorry." Reid said weakly.

"Don't be." Morgan said seriously.

"Thank you for your help, agent." Phillip cut in suddenly, realising it was time to leave the room.

"Morgan." He nodded to the nurse.

Phillip smiled and nodded.

"Let us know if you need anything Dr. Reid. Anything at all." He said.

Reid didn't look up, he was too embarrassed. But he at least answered.

"Thanks." He said quietly.

The two nurses then left the room. Morgan couldn't help but wonder what they were saying on the other side of the door this time. He hoped they had learned from their original mistake and would discuss it somewhere more private in future. If they really had to discuss it at all.

"Reid, lie down." Morgan suggested, taking the remote control for the bed and lying the back rest flatter. "You need to get some rest." He pressed a hand to Reid's shoulder and the young man didn't argue.

"I made... a complete... fool of myself." He said, lying back and closing his eyes. He didn't want to look at Morgan.

"No you didn't." Morgan countered.

"I did." Reid said, with a tired sigh. He was clearly in desperate need of sleep and looked as though he might actually drop off at any second.

"Reid, stop judging yourself. The only person who thinks that is you... You're doing well." Morgan said reassuringly.

Reid snorted.

"Feels like it." He said sarcastically with a small smile.

Morgan stared hard at him.

"You are."

Reid looked at him, disbelieving, his face asking the question he couldn't be bothered to speak: 'seriously?'

"You're coping." Morgan said simply. "And it's a start."

Reid looked at Morgan for a few moments longer, thoughtfully, then nodded a little.

Morgan patted Reid's hand.

"Get some rest. I'll come back tomorrow."

---

"Dr. Reid."

Reid jumped slightly as he was brought out of his daze. He had been staring at the same page in his book for the last five minutes. It was his second day in hospital and he wasn't yet used to his surroundings. If he had to stay much longer, he figured they may as well install a revolving door for the constant stream of people who were in and out all day long.

It was only 2pm and he had already had a visit from the attending doctor, a nurse for blood tests and Morgan, JJ and Rossi.

He looked up to find Ruth, his psychologist gazing at him. His shoulders slumped at the realisation that she was back for round two.

"Thought you said later in the week." Reid remarked, looking back down at his book. Now focusing his attentions on actually reading it. Anything to get rid of her.

"It is later in the week." Ruth said, moving towards the bed. Her gaze was then taken to Reid's hands and the speed at which he was turning the pages. "You're a fast reader." She commented.

"Hmm." Reid didn't look up, flicking a page over.

"How are you today?" She smiled a little, trying not to be overly patronising.

"Sick of that question." Reid said with feigned cheerfulness, still not looking up from his book.

Ruth huffed a small laugh, nodding a little in understanding.

"Sometimes I get sick of asking it." She said lightly, trying to bridge the icy gap between them.

"Then stop asking it." He said simply.

She raised her brows at his tone. Reid was so on the defensive, tapping away at his shell wasn't going to do anything. Often, bull-dozering through could be more effective.

"I'm here to talk about what happened to you, how does that make you feel, Dr. Reid?" She asked, calmly.

Reid brows furrowed and he had clearly stopped reading down his page. He then swallowed and shook his head unconsciously, clearly making the decision to ignore the question and keep on reading.

The psychologist made the decision to sit this one out. Reid had already spoken to her much more today than she had the day before so that was, at least, an improvement. Regardless of how much venom he had put behind the words.

She sat and watched him, not trying to make him uncomfortable, but at least make him acknowledge her presence. She sat in silence, just gazing between him and his book for a good minute and a half. About half way through, the pace of his reading had noticeably slowed. By the minute and a half mark, it was clear he was only turning pages to keep up the pretence.

Reid sighed, finally loosening his grip on the book in his hands.

"Why are you here?" Reid asked coldly.

"To help you explore your feelings." Ruth replied simply.

Reid then looked at her.

"No. Why are you here? Haven't you got better things to be doing... Shouldn't you be at home with your daughter?"

Ruth furrowed her brows. How did he know she had a daughter?

"After all, the divorce must be taking its toll on you, and her. She will need all of the support she can get from you. I mean, what is she? Thirteen? Fourteen?... It's a difficult enough age as it is without the added pressure of a divorce."

"Excuse me." Ruth said, trying to cut him off, but Reid ploughed on.

"But instead you've been logging more hours at work than ever, pushing her further and further towards her father. You feel like you're to blame so you don't see why you should have your daughter's support. Perhaps the affair wasn't a good idea, or maybe it was and that's why you're logging more hours. What is the rule on relationships in the workplace?"

"Okay, that's enough!" Ruth snapped. She stared hard at him, her gaze a combination of disbelief, concern and awe. Her arms were tightly folded protectively in front of her. She shook her head. "How...?" She couldn't even finish her sentence.

Reid sat back a little, taking great pleasure in making the woman feel uncomfortable.

"You wear a necklace saying 'MUM'... It's too delicate to be a gift from a boy and... too inexpensive to have been bought... by an older child or an adult on behalf of a child... So it's probably safe to say it was bought... out of pocket money. Typically, a thirteen or fourteen... year old child would deem that a suitable gift for their mother... Whereas an adult might overcompensate on behalf of the child... and an older child might buy you something more practical... or hard-wearing. Your divorce is clear... You don't wear your wedding ring, but your thumb... is still drawn to its original position. If you were wearing it... you would spend your life spinning it around... You had no reason to come in to see me again today... in fact, it probably would have been more... beneficial had you left it a couple of days... But still, you're here. Which suggests to me... that there is something you don't want to go home to... Perhaps an angry teenage girl? When I said you... blame yourself for the split, you automatically... crossed your legs, a body signal for hiding your sexuality... You also instinctively reached for your ID, as if it was being shielded... Shielded from the damage your work-place affair would cause." Reid smiled a little self-satisfied smile as he regained his breath into his aching chest.

"Are you done?" Ruth asked, coldly.

Reid raised his eyebrows momentarily seeming to think, then nodded, taking his gaze back to his book.

Ruth shifted uncomfortably in her chair. "Okay, I think that concludes our sessions..." Reid didn't look at her. "I am going to transfer you to my colleague's service. He is very good and extremely understanding."

Reid looked up suddenly, his eyes flashed with panic.

"He?"

"Well yes, Dr. Reid. There is only two of us on the inpatient psychology team. Myself and Peter. So if you do not want to work with me, then I will refer you to him."

"I don't want to speak to him." Reid said simply.

"Well as I no longer wish to work with you, I'm afraid you don't have any other option. You require a psychological assessment before you can be discharged. I will refer you to Peter and he will arrange an appointment." She stood, leaving Reid aghast.

"You can't do that." He said suddenly, slight desperation creeping into his voice.

"I have no other option." She shrugged her shoulders, playing Reid at his own game. She knew exactly what she was doing.

"But- you- ….. you can't do this." Reid said helplessly.

"Dr. Reid, I do not expect to be spoken to in the manner you have just spoken to me."

"But- I-" Reid was fumbling with his words. He hadn't expected this. He didn't want to speak to her, but he wanted to speak to a man even less.

"I'm sorry." She said, shrugging her shoulders, appearing as though her hands were tied. "I will refer you to Peter."

Reid's mouth hung open slightly. He didn't know what to say.

In contrast, Ruth stood confidently, knowing exactly what she was doing. True enough, she didn't appreciate the way he had spoken to her and his words had been painfully true. But in a way, he had just given her the perfect way in. Even if it didn't seem like it at that moment.

Reid dropped his gaze, depressed. Mentally slapping himself for being so stupid. Why had he said those things?

When he looked back up, Ruth had gone. He sighed.

---

Hotch was sat in his office, pawing over the papers in front of him. His forehead was resting a little on his hand and if anyone were to look at him in that moment, he looked like a man who had far too many troubles on his mind.

He had been filling in incident reports all morning, cursing the fact that every event had to be described in complete detail. He also had to fill in the forms for Reid to take personal time, once again, explaining the circumstances in exhausting detail. Not to mention that he had to figure out the logistics of running two teams when they were missing three agents and a technical analyst.

He felt his blood boiling at the thought. One of his technical analysts, someone he had helped to employ had been behind all of this. He had single-handedly torn the BAU apart, killing a lead agent and one of his subordinates, raping another, leaving him too traumatised to work and then not to mention the fact that Garcia would have to take on the responsibilities for two teams.

The whole situation was a complete mess. He put his pen down with a sigh and ran his hands through his hair.

"You don't have to do all of that now." Strauss said, standing at the door.

Hotch looked up quickly, in surprise. He sighed again.

"It's got to be done." He shrugged. "I don't want to be doing it when the team is back in."

Strauss nodded in understanding.

"How long have you given them?" She crossed her arms.

"Two days... just so they can get their heads round things. They'll be back in tomorrow."

Strauss nodded again. She moved into the room, closing the door gently behind her. She headed towards the chair on the opposite side of Hotch's desk. Her gaze softened, an expression that almost seemed out of place on her face.

"How is he?" She asked gently.

Hotch just shook his head, depressively.

"I wish that bastard was still alive so I could kill him myself."

Rather than looking taken a back, Strauss just dropped her gaze in contemplation.

"That wouldn't change anything, Aaron." She said simply.

"No?" He raised his eyebrows. "Well it would make me feel better."

Strauss shook her head a little, mostly at the situation, rather than what Hotch had said.

"How is he?" She tried again, realising he'd dodged the question.

"If he'd lived, I'd have made sure he got the death penalty and spent the rest of his life on death row for what he's done. I'd have him rot in hell... Put in some cell like an animal, like he treated Reid." Hotch's fists were now clenched.

Strauss looked at him in concern.

"He's not important now, Aaron. He's gone. What's important is getting your agent – your team, through this."

"Easier said than done." Hotch muttered quite uncharacteristically.

Strauss furrowed her brows, realising Hotch still hadn't answered her question. He was just about to start off on another rant when she cut him off completely.

"How is he?" She asked strongly, making it clear she wanted an answer.

Hotch's eyes flashed uncomfortably.

He took a deep breath, then let it out.

"Not good." He said simply. "Morgan called before. He's having panic attacks and flashbacks."

"Have you been in to see him?" She asked, curiously.

Hotch dropped his gaze and picked up his pen again.

"Not since he was admitted. He's had lots of visitors." He said as if to justify himself.

Strauss raised her eyebrows.

"Are you going to see him later?"

Hotch started flicking through the papers.

"This needs doing and I have Jack, so I don't think I'll get over there today."

"I've already said leave that." Strauss said, motioning to the papers.

"It needs doing." Hotch said simply.

Strauss looked at him for a few moments, sensing his reluctance.

"You can do that tomorrow." She said firmly. "And that's an order."

Hotch looked at her, hard.

"I will get over there when I can." He said simply.

"Good." She answered lightly. "I will meet you there later."

Hotch appeared slightly taken a back.

"You are going?"

Strauss straightened up proudly.

"And why not? He is one of my agents." She stood up. "He needs to know that he has our support." She moved towards the door, leaving Hotch in slight shock. "I will see you later... seven o'clock." Then she left the room.

---

Rossi sat next to Reid who was fidgeting in the bed, playing with his fingers, taking the odd glance to the clock on the wall.

Rossi watched him for a few moments, then smiled. He'd only arrived a few moments before, so the bag he had brought with him lay unopened on the floor. Reaching down, he lifted it onto his lap opening it dramatically.

"I've brought you something." He said mysteriously.

"Oh?" Reid said, barely listening.

He pulled out a portable DVD player, it was small, but more than adequate for its function.

"Here." He held it towards Reid who wasn't really paying attention. "Reid."

The younger man turned, slightly irritated and looked at the DVD player as if it was a foreign object.

"What's that?"

Rossi snorted, highly amused that a man of twenty-nine years of age didn't know what a portable DVD player was.

"It plays DVD's." Said Rossi proudly. He reached down into his bag again, pulling out a pile of DVDs. "You can watch them when you get bored." He smiled, clearly pleased with himself.

Reid stared at the pile, furrowing his brows.

"You've been going through my things?" He said, seemingly unhappy.

Rossi raised his eyebrows.

"Just your DVDs... You have quite the collection." He joked, holding up a Star Trek DVD. Reid snatched it from him.

"You had no right." Reid said quickly.

Rossi was more than aware of how private Reid was. The idea of people being in his apartment full-stop was strange to him. But Rossi couldn't help but feel a little offended that he wasn't trusted enough to be in his apartment.

"Reid... I only went for DVDs. I didn't touch anything else." He said defensively. Reid eyed him for a few moments, then nodded. He then turned to look at the clock again. "You're welcome." Rossi said under his breath. Reid ignored him, fidgeting again. Rossi watched him for a few moments, curious about his behaviour.

The next moment, a nurse walked in. She smiled as she saw Rossi at the bed.

"Hi." She said sweetly. Then she moved towards Reid with a small medicine pot in her hand. "Here you go." Reid looked eagerly towards the pot and took it, automatically taking the pills that were resting inside.

"Thank you." Reid said, he couldn't help the slight look of relief that crossed his features. This didn't go unnoticed by Rossi, he sucked in a concerned breath.

"Is there anything else you need?" The nurse said, signing his drug card.

"No, thanks." Reid answered, leaning back into his pillow, looking much more content than he had moments before.

"Okay. Well I'll see you later." The nurse turned with a smile, nodded to Rossi, then left the room.

Rossi stared at Reid for a few long moments, Reid seemed oblivious.

"So... you still having bad pain?" Rossi asked, not necessarily hiding the accusation from his voice.

Reid met his gaze then licked his lips uncomfortably.

"Yeah." He said, his voice cracking slightly with nerves.

"And they're helping, are they?" Rossi said pointedly.

Reid's gaze hardened.

"That is the point." He snapped back.

Rossi raised his brows, not rising to Reid's attitude. Instead, he sighed a little and sat back in his chair, deflated. He didn't really feel that way, but the body language was for Reid's benefit.

They sat in silence for a short while, until Reid started to become uncomfortable. "I'm sorry." He said, quietly, looking to the DVDs Rossi had proudly displayed on the table. "I am grateful." His soft gaze landed on Rossi's and he gave a small awkward smile.

Rossi just smiled and nodded in return. He was too old to be made to feel uncomfortable by someone so much younger than him. Regardless of the circumstances. He wasn't going to suddenly change his behaviour towards Reid just because he'd been through a traumatic experience. If he wasn't happy with the way he was behaving, he was going to make damn sure he knew it. Within reason, obviously.

"So, what we watching?" Rossi said, gesturing to the pile.

"I don't think I feel like watching anything." Reid sighed. Then quickly looked to Rossi again, nervous he might have offended him. "But I will... at some point." He added.

Rossi just nodded, his lips in a tight line.

A knock came at the door and it opened slightly.

"Can I come in?" A female voice asked.

Reid furrowed his brows at the voice, however Rossi didn't seem surprised at all.

"Yes." Reid said, sitting up straight trying to make himself look more presentable. He looked to Rossi but his gaze was focused on the slowly opening door.

Strauss' head popped round, a serious expression marred her face.

"Dr. Reid." She said formally, then glanced to the chair next to the bed. A look of surprise washed over her features. "David." She exclaimed. "What are you doing here?"

"Aaron called. Asked me to come over, Jack's had a bad day at school." He said simply.

Strauss moved into the room, not taking her eyes off Rossi.

She opened the door wide behind her.

"A word." She said, sternly.

Reid furrowed his brows as Rossi automatically stood.

"You're not in the office now, Erin." He said casually. Shooting a look to Reid before walking past her and out of the room.

Strauss didn't look at Reid. She just dropped her gaze.

"Excuse us." She said respectfully.

Closing the door behind her, she followed Rossi across the corridor.

"So..." Rossi said, a slight joke in his voice. Although it wasn't meant lightly. He really didn't want to be dealing with Strauss and her command and conquer attitude. He met her gaze, calmly.

"David, why isn't Aaron here?" She asked, folding her arms.

"He said he had Jack." Rossi answered simply.

"And Haley's sister couldn't take him?" She raised her eyebrows in a challenge.

"What can I say? The kid had a bad day at school." Rossi said nonchalantly, not rising to the bait.

"I asked him to be here, personally."

"And Jack asked him to stay... personally. If you ask me, I know which person I'd listen to." Rossi said, knowing he was winding her up. But not entirely sure why. Sometimes he couldn't help it.

Strauss just stared at him for a few moments. Rossi didn't normally feel uncomfortable under Strauss' scrutinising gaze, but this time it was different. Strauss shook her head.

"And what about Dr. Reid?"

"Reid has had non-stop company for the last two days, Erin. I think Hotch can afford to take a back seat to help out his son."

"But how long is he going to be in this back seat?" Erin asked, curiously. "What else will come up?"

Rossi glared at Strauss now.

"He is supporting his son."

Strauss looked back at him calmly, almost sympathetically.

"Well if you believe that, then perhaps your profiling skills aren't as good as we thought." She said pointedly, turning away from the old profiler. Rossi stood in silence, words unable to leave his lips.

She was right and he knew it. But what was he supposed to do? Accuse Hotch of lying? If it was paperwork or anything else, he would have taken great pleasure in telling Hotch he was being as asshole and to get his behind down to the hospital. But it was Jack. Jack was always going to have to come first, regardless of the excuse.

It was only Reid's second day in hospital after all. Hotch would be there tomorrow, no doubt. The kid meant too much to him to just leave him without the support of his boss. Although Reid knew that people were supporting him, Rossi was extremely aware of the level of respect Reid held for his boss. He also knew how much Reid tried to prove himself. He would need Aaron's full support if he were ever going to have any self-respect again. He needed reassurance from them all, most importantly, from Hotch.

He shook his head, annoyed that Strauss had silenced him. It was unfamiliar territory. He reluctantly followed her back into the room and returned to his seat.

Strauss had settled herself down in a chair on the opposite side of the bed and was eyeing Reid carefully. She couldn't believe how bad he looked. He had clearly been badly beaten, the bruises looking out of place on his soft, youthful features. She cast a glance to his arm and wondered if the rumours were true. It appeared as though they might be. His arm was bandaged in exactly the place she had heard about. She had meant to ask Hotch if there was any truth in it, but she supposed when she returned to the office, there would be a full report on her desk anyway. Then her gaze wandered to the hickeys marring his neck and side of his face. Nothing gave away the sexual elements of his experiences more than that. Her lips tightened into an angry line for a few moments.

"So, how are you?" She said, seriously.

Reid cleared his throat, feeling completely scrutinised.

"I'm fine, thanks." He gave a small smile. "And you?"

She raised her eyebrows, seemingly surprised at the question.

"I'm okay... thank you for asking." She shot a glance to Rossi, as if to say 'this is how you speak to your boss'. She then sat for a few moments, considering why she had made the effort to show her face. "I just want you to know that you have full support from everyone at the Bureau."

"Thanks." Reid said in a small voice, suddenly feeling incredibly embarrassed at the prospect of everyone knowing about his situation.

"Your post will be kept open, should you decide to return." She smiled a little. Giving softer eye contact than Rossi actually thought possible. There was something strange about all of this, he thought. He'd never seen Strauss appear so concerned. Normally something like this would have been considered a hindrance, an irritation. But there she was, giving her full support to a colleague that she barely even knew. And Reid didn't look surprised in the slightest. It was odd to say the least.

Reid's lips tightened into a troubled line.

"Well... we'll see what happens." He said non-committally.

"Of course." Strauss nodded in understanding. The room quickly descended into silence again.

Rossi watched the pair carefully. Strauss looked to be trying to make eye contact with Reid, but he wasn't giving her anything. Which wasn't like him. Normally he would feel obliged to give eye contact out of respect for her position. But he wasn't. And Strauss didn't seem bothered by it in the slightest. They almost appeared comfortable with each other. Almost.

Strauss then shifted slightly in her chair, her full focus on Reid. Almost as if she was trying to push Rossi out of the conversation. "I never got to thank you." She said in muted tones. She was aware that Rossi was listening, but made the point that it was something he was privileged to be hearing.

Reid's brows furrowed a little.

"For what?" He asked, finally looking at her.

She shot an insecure glance to Rossi, then hushed her voice even more.

"For helping me with... well..." She gave him a knowing look.

Reid face lifted in realisation.

"Oh... you're welcome." He said gently. That explained why she was here there.

"You helped Erin with her drinking?" Rossi asked tactlessly.

Her face flushed at this and she dropped her gaze to the bed in embarrassment. Reid quickly shot him a look.

"And?" Reid said, defensively.

"Nothing." Rossi said quickly. Pissing off both his boss and Reid at the same time was not something he wanted to do. He cared less about the boss part, it was his colleague he was concerned about. He really didn't want to push Reid any further away than he was already. He stood.

"I'll wait outside for a few minutes." He said respectfully, moving to the door and leaving the room.

"I'm sorry." Reid said, apologising on behalf of the older profiler.

"Don't." Strauss replied. "I'm more than used to David Rossi by now." She said, the beginnings of a smile crept into her eyes. However, she couldn't help but notice the lack of light in Reid's. She couldn't imagine what he had been through, what he was going through now. And frankly, she didn't want to. "I'm sorry for what you've been through." She said sincerely.

Reid just nodded uncomfortably. Strauss continued. "What he has done to you... it's absolutely disgraceful. I don't know how else to say it."

Reid was looking gradually more and more tense. He'd managed to go almost half a day without it being mentioned, since Ruth in the morning, and it had been bliss.

"Hmm..." He hummed, not giving her an answer.

"I just wish he was still alive so he could pay for what he has done. He deserves to rot in hell. The fact he got through the Bureau interview process..."

"I don't want to talk about it." Reid snapped quickly, having had enough. Then his face dropped, as he remembered who he was speaking to. "I'm sorry, Ma'am." He corrected himself. "I just..." He was lost for words.

No matter how she tried, Strauss couldn't lift the sudden darkness that had graced her features. She couldn't help it. It was an instant reaction for her. If anyone talked back to her, then she would shoot them a look.

"It's okay." She replied quickly. Unable to keep the slight bite out of her voice. She had hoped that the fact she was so open with him once or twice would stand her in good stead to help him. But apparently not. She sat up, suddenly becoming very business like. "Do you think you will return to the Bureau?" She asked, curiously.

Reid's lips tightened into a straight line. Now this was the Strauss he had expected. Having been given a non-committal answer to her earlier mention of work, she was testing the ground to see if he needed to be replaced. Reid knew if Rossi had been in the room at that moment, he'd have taken her head off. Sensitivity and tact were not Strauss' strong points and Rossi would have been quick to point that out.

"I..." Reid stuttered for a moment, not sure how to answer. He certainly didn't want Strauss filling his space at the BAU. But equally, the thought of returning to that office, where he had been, where this had all started, was enough to give him a panic attack. He felt his heart fluttering a little in his chest and took a deep breath. "I... I don't know." He mumbled, honestly. "I... um... I can't really... think about that right now." He said carefully, trying his best not to offend her.

Strauss fixed her gaze on him for a short while. It was hard and slightly challenging. The Section Chief side of her was clearly coming out. She was down three agents and a technical analyst. An 'I don't know' answer just didn't seem to cut it somehow.

Reid was sure she was going to force him to make a decision at that moment. He watched her take a deep breath, he tensed slightly in preparation for her orders.

"Well, I will assume you are returning at some point, unless I am told otherwise." She said, gently. "If you do decide not to return, please tell me sooner, rather than later."

Reid raised his eyebrows in surprise. Was that it? Simple as that? He nodded, unsure what to say. Her understanding attitude had caught him off guard. Even though he had taken the time to speak to her on various occasions about her addiction, he still didn't feel that comfortable with her. The first time he had broached the subject of addiction with her, he had been unceremoniously thrown out of her office. The second time, she had approached him in a somewhat sheepish manner. Not long after, she took some time off. During that time, Reid had visited her three times to help her look into various treatments and support groups. She had never questioned why he had such an understanding of addiction. Nor did he feel it necessary, or appropriate, to question why she might be in such a position herself. They seemingly had a mutual, unspoken agreement that it was kept completely impersonal, professional and entirely out of the knowledge of their co-workers.

Although they could never call each other friends, in a way, they had gained a certain level of respect for each other. Reid came to learn that Strauss did actually have a vulnerable side and wasn't always the 'dragon' she portrayed in the office. And Strauss came to understand that the agents working beneath her were actually real people, as ridiculous as that sounded. People like Reid, to her, were unimportant, dispensable. But now, she realised their importance. Reid wasn't just an agent any more. He was human, a caring, thoughtful human being who had taken the time to help someone, who had never been particularly nice to him, to overcome a hard time. And that's what made this whole situation so hard. Comparing the kindness and support he had shown to the abuse and cruelty that had been inflicted upon him made her sick to her stomach. It made her almost wish she'd never come to know the person behind the nameless, faceless being he had been before.

She shook her head, deep in thought. The room was completely silent until a small knock on the door roused them from their thoughts. Rossi poked his head round.

"Everything okay? Is it safe to come in?" He jibed light-heartedly, a small smile tugging at his lips.

Strauss stood suddenly.

"Yes. I'm just going." She said quickly.

"So soon?" Rossi said in mock disappointment.

Strauss just ignored him.

"You take care, Dr. Reid. And remember what I said. Sooner, rather than later." She said simply, moving towards the door. She clearly never forgot to assert her position as section chief.

Reid nodded quickly, suddenly feeling under increasing pressure to make a decision he wasn't ready for. He now wished she hadn't come at all.

Strauss moved past Rossi and to the door. "Always a pleasure, David." She said dryly.

"Likewise." He smiled a sickly sweet smile back.

Strauss shot him a look and then left the room, not even glancing back towards Reid in the bed. This only served to make Rossi smile more. She made all the effort to come over and see Reid, to thank him for his support. Not because she had to, but because she wanted to. But still, she was too embarrassed to admit it. Typical Erin. He thought.

He was still smiling when he went back to the side of Reid's bed and sat down in the chair. Reid stared at him, his face an unreadable mask.

"What?" Rossi asked curiously. The smile dropping from his face somewhat.

"You can't help yourself, can you?" Reid replied shortly.

Rossi appeared slightly offended and confused.

"What?" He asked again, more of an exclamation this time. Reid gave him a look as if to say 'you know what'. Rossi opened his mouth a little in realisation. "Oooh... Erin, you mean?" Reid nodded. "She's a big girl, she can take it."

"Yeah, she also takes a drink. It doesn't mean it's good for her." Reid said curtly.

"I doubt very much that Erin's drinking has anything to do with the way I speak to her." Rossi said, brushing off Reid's concerns. "I think whatever that is, it can't be blamed on other people. She did that to herself." Rossi said casually.

"She's not weak." Reid snapped suddenly.

Rossi raised an eyebrow.

"I never said she was weak, Reid."

"Just because she's found things difficult to cope with and found an outlet for her stress and feelings, doesn't mean she's weak."

"I know that, Reid." Rossi tried to cut in, but Reid was on a rant.

"It might mean she needs some support, yes. But it doesn't mean that she's weak or a pushover. Or someone to be mocked or judged-"

"Yes, Reid." Rossi tried again to no avail.

"She deserves the support of the people she works with, not to be made to feel like an outcast or as if there's something wrong with her."

"Reid!" Rossi cut him dead this time. When he realised he'd got the younger man's attention he continued. "I know that. Erin knows I don't mean half of what I say. Sure, she's a pain in the ass sometimes and she knows it. But it's just how we work. It's how it is. Always has been, always will be. You know that. A drink problem doesn't change a thing... At least not my opinion of her."

"Of course it doesn't." Reid said, disbelievingly.

"It doesn't." Rossi insisted. "Jeez, we all have our vices... mine is ex-wives." He said with a small smile.

Reid studied him for a few moments, wondering whether to believe him. Then he broke into a small smile. Rossi smiled brightly back at him.

They both knew exactly why he was being so defensive. But neither of them were going to broach the subject of drugs just yet. It wasn't the time or the place. Reid had to be allowed time to deal with his feelings before the issue of the drugs was raised.

Rossi sat forward. "Look kid, I've got to make tracks. I don't think I'll see you tomorrow, but I'll be back."

The smile left Reid's face.

"Okay." He said, seemingly disappointed.

"But take care." Rossi said, kindly. "And don't watch too much Star Trek." He joked, gesturing to the pile of DVDs on his side table.

Rossi stood and moved towards the door.

"Rossi?" Reid called unsurely.

"Hmm?" He turned around, his brows raised with curiosity.

"Is Hotch coming tomorrow?" He asked, like a nervous child.

Rossi's lips twitched.

"I'm not sure." He answered honestly.

Reid gave a tight lipped smile, it wasn't genuine, and nodded once.

"Get some rest." Rossi said casually, dodging the subject of Hotch.

For once, Reid listened and rested back into the pillow, allowing the lull of the Vicodin to wash over him.

---

It was Reid's third day in hospital and today had been fairly quiet compared to the last two. The medical staff were reducing the frequency of their observations, so he wasn't being disturbed every two minutes. He had actually managed to have a fairly successful sleep the night before, probably due to exhaustion more than anything else. But either way, it made him feel a little more prepared for breakfast this morning. He still didn't eat much. A couple of bites of toast and a large mug of coffee seemed more than sufficient. Although the nurse seemed reluctant to agree.

It was now after lunch time and it was visiting hour. He didn't expect anyone. He knew the team were going back in today. Not necessarily to do work, but at least get back into the 'swing of things'. The BAU was too many staff members down to allow a whole team some time off. Despite his life being put on complete hold, the BAU cogs still kept turning. And people were needed to keep the machine running smoothly.

As much as he felt nasty admitting it, it was nice to have some peace. He was getting a little sick of visitors coming in and looking at him as if he was some sort of abused puppy. He was also sick of the scrutinising looks he was garnering. Everything he was saying and doing was being profiled and it got on his nerves.

He couldn't even take a pain killer without attracting attention. That was a particular bone of contention. He still felt annoyed at Rossi's blatant accusation yesterday. He had no right. The painkillers were purely to numb the pain, which if Reid was honest, was improving a little. But what did it matter if they had a relaxing effect? Surely he deserved a small bit of comfort. It wasn't like he was going to become addicted to prescription painkillers. Sure, he'd had one only half an hour ago, but his chest had been aching. And he was due.

A sudden realisation hit him. He couldn't do this. He was becoming dependent and was in complete denial. It had been a long time since he had felt the itch in his veins that came with the insatiable need to take a drug. But the feeling over the last two days had started to return. He was on edge and twitchy until he had a dose. This scared him and also annoyed him. How could he have been so stupid? As if he didn't have enough to be dealing with, without giving himself a drug dependency to overcome.

He looked to his nurse call buzzer and picked it up. His thumb danced over the button. All it would take was a quick word with the staff and the painkillers would be gone. It was so easy. He didn't even have to stop it himself this time, it would be done for him. Easy. He wrestled with the small part of his mind that was telling him that the painkillers were helping, that they weren't doing any harm, just helping him to relax a little. He knew that was wrong, but there was another part of him that knew exactly what he was doing, but still wasn't quite sure it wanted to give up the feeling yet.

His thumb twitched at the button. Then a familiar face rounded the door frame.

JJ and Prentiss entered the room, their faces in tight expressions. They smiled reassuringly as they entered. JJ was carrying a briefcase, Reid glanced down at it instantly. His small smile dropping into a frown, he dropped the buzzer down to his side.

"This isn't a social visit." He said, his voice miserable.

JJ smiled again, this time her expression was sad. This was clearly something she didn't want to do.

"No." She said softly, moving to sit down next to the bed. Prentiss followed suit.

"Back to work today then." Reid said slightly bitterly.

"Well I was hoping to book a cruise, but Hotch wouldn't allow." Prentiss joked dryly, a small grin on her face.

JJ shot her look, finding her timing highly inappropriate. Prentiss quickly wiped the grin off her face, clearing her throat uncomfortably. Her attempt to lighten the mood had achieved the opposite effect.

"We... um... we need to ask you a couple of questions." JJ said carefully.

"Why?" Reid asked irritably.

"Hotch has to submit a report and he needs to know what happened." Prentiss said simply but gently. She wasn't one for dancing around an issue.

"What happened?" Reid laughed a little. "I thought you had a home movie." He said coldly.

Prentiss swallowed, images suddenly invading her mind.

Reid being knocked out and strapped down to the bed. Jason climbing on top of him. Reid's hands gripping the mattress as he tried to escape. Reid's eyes, staring deep into the camera as he said her name, then breaking down into tears only to be violently knocked off the chair. The look in his eyes as Jason's hand ran down his body.

She shook the thoughts from her head.

"After all of that, Reid." She said calmly, although her heart was pounding.

"Oh." Reid said with sudden realisation. "This is about what happened to them."

JJ nodded.

"Hotch needs to know what happened." She said diplomatically.

"Hotch isn't here." Reid snapped. He couldn't keep the slight bitterness from his voice.

The two women glanced at each other. This was clearly an unresolved issue.

"He's having problems with Jack." JJ said, not really believing the story she had been fed.

Reid nodded thoughtfully. JJ and Prentiss watched his eyes narrow as he considered the situation, then his eyes softened slightly, taking on a sad appearance. His eyes suddenly started to tear up a little and he looked to the briefcase.

"I don't want to do this." His voice sounded so small.

"We're with you all the way, Reid." Prentiss said reassuringly.

Reid started shaking his head.

"No... no. I... I'm not doing this."

"Spe- Reid. You can't keep all of this inside. You need to talk about it."

"I don't need to talk about it." He countered quickly.

"Okay, well then we need you to." Prentiss said, honestly. "The cops have two dead bodies on their hands, Reid. They are looking for answers that Hotch can't give them."

JJ took a deep breath, she wasn't expecting Prentiss to be that open about the situation.

"So they are blaming me?" Reid said, his eyes wide. This was all he needed, to be charged with murder.

"No!" JJ corrected him, quickly. "No, not at all, Reid. They know the circumstances. They just need to know what happened." She spoke gently.

"You know how it works." Prentiss said, sounding exasperated with the whole idea, hoping that Reid would understand that she wasn't any happier with this situation than he was.

Reid sat fidgeting for a few moments, his gaze darted nervously around the room. He looked trapped. His mind was racing. So many memories were flooding his mind, he didn't even know where to start. It was all too much.

"I- I can't." Reid said, his heart pounding. He could feel the beginnings of another panic attack. A fluttering sensation began in his chest and his breathing hitched slightly.

"Okay, Reid. Take your time." Prentiss reached to grab his hand but he pulled it away. He didn't want physical contact right now. He didn't want anything. He just wanted to be left alone.

Nausea was suddenly sweeping up through his body as his mind started to unwilling recall the events. He pushed it down, along with the memories and took a deep breath, closing his eyes. Displaying a strength that the two women thought impossible at that moment, Reid calmed himself and opened his eyes. They were cold.

"I killed him. That's all you need to know." He said, plainly.

"Killed who, Reid?... Jason?" Prentiss asked, knowing the answer, but asking 'for the record'.

"I stabbed him in the throat..." Reid's eyes took on an almost dream-like appearance. "I stabbed him... I was going to pull the knife out and stab him again... but he moved away from me... I wanted him to suffer... but it was so quick." He furrowed his brows. "He didn't deserve to die that quickly. It was so... anti-climactic. One minute he was there, the next, gone. And I didn't know what to do. I wanted to throw things at him. But I had nothing to throw. He was dead but I wanted to hurt him." Reid shook his head in disgust. "What does that make me?"

"Human." Prentiss said, shaking her head. She didn't want to imagine what she would have done to the man had he still been alive.

"Reid... what happened before? How did you get the knife?" JJ asked softly.

Reid seemed to be sifting through memories in his head. His eyes were a little squinted as they often were when his brain was working overtime. He suddenly closed his eyes and gasped.

"No." He said, the intake of breath making his voice weaker than it should be. "No, I can't." He shook his head, tears filling his eyes. "Please..." His eyes then opened, looking pleadingly at the two women. A tear escaped down his cheek.

JJ's deep blue eyes suddenly filled up too. Seeing her Spence looking so vulnerable broke her heart. What upset her most though, was the sheer embarrassment that was written all over his face. It wasn't just distressing to him, it was completely embarrassing and was making him cringe. And he shouldn't have to feel that way. It wasn't his fault. Whatever memories were inside his head, they were clearly far too traumatic for him to explore at that moment. She leaned forwards.

"It's okay, Spence." She said, without thinking, focusing on his face.

"It's okay, Spence." Jason pulled up Reid's gown and stroked gently down his chest, feeling the muscles tense beneath his fingers. His hand dropped down to his lower stomach and circled around, teasingly.

Blindfolded and chained to the bed, Reid couldn't see or stop what Jason was doing. Only feel his hand delicately tracing along his stomach. It made his skin crawl.

Jason then ran his fingers down Reid's leg and back up again, then down the other. Reid's jaw was clenched. The feeling was like torture. He knew exactly what Jason was doing. He was trying to make him aroused using the tickling sensation. Reid tried to shift his legs to throw Jason's hand off but it stayed put and moved up and down his body, slowly and softly caressing. The more Reid shifted away from the hand, the softer and more fleeting the touches became. The hand explored every inch of Reid's body.

"Stop it." Reid snapped, becoming irritated by the sensation.

"Nah-ah-ah." Jason said teasingly, running his fingers up Reid's neck, making him shudder and pull away. Jason knew how much Reid hated to be touched, that just made it all the more enjoyable.

"Please." Reid asked through clenched teeth.

The hand left his body suddenly.

"Oh Spence. You're ruining the atmosphere."

Reid then heard what sounded like tape being pulled off a roll. The next second, the tape was pressed to his mouth, effectively silencing his pleas. This was the first time he had been unable to speak around Jason. He was now completely incapacitated. Not even a profile would be any use to him now.

The room was completely silent. He had no idea where Jason was. He calmed his breathing a little to attempt to hear footsteps, or a breath, anything to tell where his tormentor had gone.

He stayed still as stone as he listened, to no avail. Then, he felt a feather light touch, gliding it's way up his inner thigh. He tensed. The touch was so gentle, it made his skin itch. Then it lifted again, leaving his thigh. The touch then returned, this time climbing from his inner wrist, up to his elbow, making him squirm.

Reid began to make little noises of protestation, but they remained unheeded.

The touch left again and then danced up the bottom of a foot. He jumped at this.

Jason kept up these movements for nearly an hour, which to Reid, seemed like forever. He watched the arousal slowly building in Reid's body.

Reid felt completely ashamed, but after a while, when Jason's fingers left his body, they left a strange feeling of absence. He knew his body was betraying him. The only thing he could liken the feeling to was that of addiction. The itch in his veins at that moment was over powering. He needed something that he neither wanted or enjoyed, but his body was craving it and that was exactly what Jason wanted. Had Reid not been gagged, he would have been gasping with every single touch by now. Every muscle was tense and there was a warm tingling sensation stirring in his groin. He felt sick.

Jason lifted his touch away from Reid again and walked casually around the bed, pondering his next move.

He leaned over the young man's chest, dug his nails in and scratched harshly, down towards his groin. Reid's back arched at the sudden movement, a whimper sounded in his throat. Jason smiled, letting his fingers dance around Reid's groin. He then traced a finger up Reid's erection. Reid's back arched again and his head started shaking from side to side. He knew it was helpless, but it made him feel slightly better about the situation. Regardless of the signal his body was giving, this was in no way consensual.

"There's no point saying no, Spence." Jason's voice was slightly hoarse with arousal. He hadn't used it for nearly an hour and the sound of it startled Reid a little. "We both know what filthy thoughts are running through your mind right now... I'm just showing you what you are." His hand grasped around Reid's hardness and started stroking painfully slowly. Reid bucked his hips at the action, then turned bright red with embarrassment. Again his body had betrayed him. "Now, now Spencer. Don't get ahead of yourself."

Jason brought his face to Reid's chest and started sucking and biting down on the skin, leaving marks. A deep intake of breath from Reid had Jason smiling. "You really are a dark horse, aren't you?... Steve was right about you... you would have made a great rent-boy."

He licked down to Reid's lower regions and found the head of his erection. "Of course... no woman will ever touch you now... not after this. Perhaps a sex toy is the right profession for you." He licked and Reid's body arched once again. He started pulling against his chains, trying to free himself to no avail.

Jason put a firm hand on Reid's chest. "Now, now Spence. Don't get carried away. You're giving me mixed messages here." A whimper sounded in Reid's throat, had the tape not been over his mouth it would have been a sob. The blindfold covering his eyes was now soaked with tears. Jason stroked his hand through Reid's hair in a comforting manner, but Reid jerked his head away. He was sick of being touched.

Jason ran his finger up Reid's erection again and watched his body shudder. "And you behave like you don't want this. Just face it, Spence. You're made for this. Why else would you be shuddering under my touch?" Reid was shaking his head and pulling at his chains again.

Suddenly, Jason wrapped his lips around Reid's hardness and took him deep into his mouth. Reid stilled, every muscle in his body tensed with unwanted pleasure. He arched again, unintentionally thrusting. Jason chuckled a little, removing his lips momentarily. "See?" He said, smiling, knowing what this was doing to his former friend.

"Reid!" A voice sounded far away.

Jason kept up his motions, causing Reid's body to shiver. Beads of sweat were running down his body.

"Dr. Reid?"

He stopped again. "You have no idea how hot you look right now." He whispered, leaning right up to Reid's ear and licking. "You're filthy."

"What's wrong with him?" A panicked voice cut in.

"I'm gonna be sick." He mumbled as his face paled.

A bowl was quickly placed underneath his chin. Reid promptly vomited. His eyes finally coming back into focus a little.

JJ placed a soothing hand on his back.

"Don't touch me." Reid whispered. She flinched as if she'd been scolded.

Reid's hands were shaking violently and his hair was stuck to his face with sweat.

Prentiss was stood, breathing heavily, at the end of his bed. There had obviously been a lot of panic. Dr. Marston had been called in when Reid wasn't responding to verbal or physical stimuli. They had been trying to rouse him out of his memories for the last ten minutes. Dr. Marston was concerned that if they couldn't bring him round, his mind would simply give up. The last thing Reid needed was to go into a state of catatonia.

"Here." Dr. Marston said to Reid, holding out a glass of water.

Reid's brows furrowed as if his mind was still clouded, then he turned his head in a stupor to look at the glass. He then looked at the arm holding it, then up to the doctor's face as if he was seeing her for the first time.

The doctor reiterated her point. "Have some water, Dr. Reid."

His shaking hand reached out to take the glass and she handed it over. The second she released her grip, it slipped to the floor and smashed.

"Hmm?" Reid hummed slightly, seemingly responding to her earlier words. His body was responding to them but his mind was clearly slowed.

Dr. Marston resisted the urge to curse when the glass dropped to the floor. A habit she often had to put a lid on when she was around patients. She quickly poured a second glass and this time held it to his lips. He didn't argue. He took a couple of sips, his shaking hands trying to take the glass.

"Let me." She said gently. Reid didn't seem to be listening and his hands stayed put, fumbling with the glass but not taking it from her. After a couple more sips, he took a shuddering breath, running a shaking hand through his hair. He was looking more alert now. "Better?" She asked.

He nodded slightly, his face flushing red for what seemed like the millionth time.

JJ stood back, watching her friend. She moved towards Prentiss.

"I told Hotch it was too soon." She said quietly, the anger was evident in her voice.

"He didn't have a choice, JJ." Prentiss said gently. "The local police have been all over him. He had to try."

"Yeah – well next time he can do it himself." JJ snapped back.

"I want a shower." Reid suddenly said in a trembling voice.

Dr. Marston glanced to the two female agents, then back to Reid.

"You can't right now, I'm afraid. We can't let you out of bed for at least another day or two."

"I need a wash." He insisted, almost scratching at his arms.

Prentiss shook her head sadly at JJ. Looking at Reid right now was like looking at a stranger.

Dr. Marston nodded uncomfortably.

"I know... all I can do is offer you a bed bath." She said carefully. "But the nurses would have to do it, I'm afraid."

"No." Reid answered quickly.

"I'm sorry." She said sadly.

Before she realised what she was saying, JJ stepped forward.

"I could help him." Both Reid and Dr. Marston looked at her. "If he wants me to, of course." She added.

Reid appeared unsure – nervous even. This upset JJ, but she understood.

"Well we don't normally allow it." Dr. Marston turned to Reid.

"I wouldn't do any lifting or rolling. I would just help him to have a bit of a wash." JJ could see the longing in Reid's eyes at the thought of feeling slightly cleaner. His fingers seemed to be scratching at his skin as if he had a relentless itch. He then started chewing on his finger nails, a completely uncharacteristic mannerism.

Dr. Marston nodded.

"Well.. I don't see what harm it would do. But it's up to Dr. Reid."

Reid looked up at the doctor, uncertainty flickering in his eyes.

Dr. Marston leaned slightly in to him. "Would you like that?" She said gently.

Reid glanced between the doctor and JJ a few times, weighing up the situation. He could feel Jason's hands tracing all over his body. He had to scrub them away or the sensation was going to drive him insane. He felt filthy and the thought of a wash was making his stomach twist with longing. But he really didn't want to be undressed around another person. Whether it was JJ or not. She would be repulsed by him, he was sure of that. And he didn't know if he could cope with her touching him, the thought made him nauseous. But he needed that wash so badly. And in the end, it was only JJ. He could trust her, couldn't he?

He then looked to Prentiss who was now stood respectfully in the corner of the room. Somehow, the thought of two people being with him wasn't as nerve-racking as one. The last time he'd been in a bed at the hands of one person – no. He wasn't going there.

He turned to the doctor and nodded, swallowing nervously.

"If Emily stays too." He said in a small voice. His stomach was already doing somersaults. He was going to be put in a vulnerable position once again. But he had to. He couldn't stand the sensation from the tiny insects that seemed to be crawling under his flesh.

Prentiss raised her eyebrows in surprise. Not entirely pleased at the prospect. JJ looked a little offended, but tried not to take it too personally. The two women looked to the dark haired woman expectantly. Her mouth opened, unsure of what to say, then she snapped it shut and unconsciously shook her head.

"Sure." She said, shrugging her shoulders.

"Okay." Dr. Marston said, moving away from the bed towards the door. "I'll get you a bowl."

"Thanks." JJ replied as the doctor left the room.

"Are you sure this is a good idea?" Prentiss whispered to JJ, looking at Reid's shaky demeanour.

"No." JJ replied honestly. "But he needs our help."

Prentiss breathed out a nervous breath and made a point of relaxing her body. She'd made her decision and she was going to stick by it. She only hoped it was the right one. She moved towards Reid.

"Okay... you ready?"

Reid bit his lip and nodded. A knock came at the door and Dr. Marston returned with a bowl of water, two aprons, gloves, some wipes and a bar of soap.

"There you go." She said cheerfully to the two female agents. They took the items gratefully. The doctor then glanced around the room. "But if anyone asks, this never happened." She said with a smile and a wink.

The two women smiled back and then made light work of the aprons and gloves. Prentiss grabbed the two towels that had been placed on the chair in his room earlier in the day.

"Okay Reid. Can you sit up for us?" Prentiss asked, moving towards him.

He winced as he tried to comply. He hissed as his ribs ached again, but by using the bars on the side of the bed, he managed to eventually get himself sat upright.

Reid looked unsure as the two women stood either side of the bed.

"We're going to need to unfasten your gown." JJ said carefully. "Can I?" She didn't move until she had absolute permission. He nodded nervously. "You sure?" She asked again, just to be certain.

"Yes." He said quietly, gripping the sides of the bed tightly.

JJ pulled at the ties on the back of Reid's gown and they came apart easily. The cool air against Reid's back made him feel very exposed all of a sudden and he shuddered.

"You okay?" Prentiss asked, her brows furrowing with concern.

"Mm." Reid just hummed his answer. Not confident enough to actually trust his voice to speak.

"Okay Reid, I'm going to pull this down at the front. I'm not going to put it any lower than your stomach. We'll just do your chest and back." JJ explained. Reid nodded a few times, trying to reassure them that he was sure about this. Even though he wasn't.

JJ pushed the gown off his shoulders and down so it was resting in his lap. The bed sheets still covered his legs and more intimate parts.

Prentiss' mouth dropped open slightly at the sight that was before them. Reid's chest was black and blue, there were numerous scratches, that looked awfully like finger nail marks, tracing their way down his chest and stomach. JJ's eyes opened wide and she looked to Prentiss in horror. Reid seemed oblivious to their reactions. He was focused too much on keeping his breathing under control. He didn't care if they were women he had known for years. At that moment, he didn't feel comfortable.

Their eyes followed the track of hickeys from Reid's neck, down his chest where they became more severe, sickeningly, down to his lower stomach. JJ's stomach did a flip. What the hell had Jason been doing to him? He must have been everywhere. No wonder Reid felt so dirty.

Prentiss caught JJ's eyes and motioned to his shoulder, where there were clearly teeth marks. JJ's eyes welled up and her face started to crumple a little. She was so angry. But she took a deep breath, trying to sound cheerful, but her voice shook with unshed tears.

"Okay Reid," she said with a smile, her eyes twinkling with tears. "We'll be as quick as we can."

She reached for a wipe and rubbed it against the soap allowing it to foam up. Reid stared at the cloth as if it was some sort of delicious delicacy.

JJ moved the wipe behind Reid, ready to wash his back. "Okay?" JJ asked again, trying to ignore the teeth marks and multiple bruises on his back.

Reid nodded again and JJ rubbed his back with the cloth. Reid hissed a little at first as the warm cloth ran over some of the bruises but soon relaxed as he felt the water running down his back, cleansing away the filth.

Prentiss held the towel at the bottom of his back and JJ squeezed out the cloth between his shoulder blades, allowing the water to run freely. Reid closed his eyes contentedly. After a good minute of washing, Prentiss lifted the towel and started patting his back.

"No." Reid said quickly. "It's not clean." JJ glanced at Prentiss then back to Reid.

"It is, Reid. I promise you." JJ said, reassuringly.

"No." Reid shook his head. "No, it's not."

Prentiss removed the towel.

"Do you want me to do it again?" JJ asked, re-soaking the wipe, patiently.

Reid nodded eagerly.

Prentiss and JJ exchanged knowing glances and JJ moved to wash Reid's back again. This time, she took two minutes, making sure that no area was left unwashed. She soaked it numerous times, even changing wipes half-way through.

"Okay?" She asked. Prentiss was ready with the towel again.

Reid furrowed his brows and bit his lip. His skin must have been clean, but it didn't feel it. The sensation of little insects crawling underneath his flesh had not subsided. He still felt absolutely filthy.

He shook his head, thoughtfully.

"No?" Prentiss questioned, slightly exasperated.

"It's not clean." Reid said again, almost like a mantra.

"Reid, I can assure you, it is." JJ said, with a slightly nervous laugh.

Reid kept shaking his head.

"It isn't... I can feel it. It's not clean."

Prentiss moved in with the towel regardless.

"Well I'm afraid it's the best we can do right now, Reid."

Reid bit his lip as Prentiss dried off his back. The rougher feel of the towel was more comforting. As if it was scrubbing away the filth. He leaned into it a little.

"Okay, I'm going to do your chest now." JJ said.

"I'll do it." Reid said quickly.

"It's okay, you shouldn't get your bandages wet." JJ said, motioning to the bandages protecting his damaged knuckles.

She wet another load of wipes and started washing his chest. This time, Reid tensed hard. JJ was being very careful and gentle, which seemed to only make Reid more uncomfortable.

"Please... let me." Reid said, through a tense jaw.

"I will be done in a second." She reassured him.

Reid suddenly grabbed JJ's hand, stopping her movements. She looked at him questioningly but he wasn't looking at her. He was fully focused on the cloth and his body. He was examining his skin as if he could see something they couldn't.

All of a sudden, Reid snatched the wipe from her hand and started scrubbing at his skin. A lot harder than JJ would have dared to.

"Reid! What are you doing?" JJ tried to grab the cloth back but he pulled it away, taking it to his arm and scrubbing another spot, making the skin red.

"Reid, stop it." Prentiss said, gently.

Both women were reluctant to touch him, he was really on edge and looked as though he could snap at any moment. So they both clearly thought talking should be their first option.

"Reid. Please give me the wipes. You're going to hurt yourself." JJ said carefully.

Reid just ignored her, dipping his hand into the water, oblivious to his bandages. JJ resisted the urge to snatch the wipes out of his hand. Reid took the soaking wet cloth and started rubbing at his face, then down onto his neck. The friction from his motions caused his neck to turn bright red, but there was obviously something he could feel that they couldn't. Judging by the appearance of his neck, Jason clearly spent a lot of time there. Reid was seemingly trying to scrub him away. But in reality, all he was actually doing was scrubbing away layers of skin.

"Reid, come on now, that's enough." Prentiss said, reaching for the wipes. Reid snatched his hand away, irritation flashing in his features.

"No." He snapped moodily.

"Reid. Give Emily the wipes." JJ said sternly, like a teacher talking to a child.

Reid just continued on regardless, now scrubbing at his stomach, rubbing angrily at the hickeys marring his body.

Prentiss and JJ looked to each other in a fluster, then they nodded to each other, seemingly coming to the same decision. They both suddenly lunged for Reid. Prentiss putting an arm across his collar bones and pushing him backwards into the pillow behind and JJ grabbed his arm straightening it and fighting with the hand clasping the wipe.

He let out a pained yelp and struggled to maintain his hold on the wipes, to no avail. JJ got him to release his grip and quickly snatched back the wipes. The second she had done so, they both stepped back instantly. They were all breathing heavily and Reid hit at the cot sides of the bed in frustration, letting out a low growl. He then flinched as the action sent a shooting pain through his knuckles.

Reid breathed in and out, huffing as he did so, until he regained his breath. He refused to look at the two female agents. He was like a moody child.

"Here, let me dry you." Prentiss said gently. Moving to softly pat Reid with the towel. JJ looked on, tensely, sure that Reid was going to try to take the towel. But he didn't. He just sat completely still.

"I'm sorry." He whispered.

"Tell that to your skin." Prentiss said with a dry smile. Reid did a small lopsided smile, appearing to be very embarrassed about the situation.

"I think we'd better leave the rest of the wash." JJ said kindly.

Reid's head snapped up quickly, he seemed as though he was going to protest. But then he gave a small nod.

"Okay. Yeah." He sounded unsure. JJ understood. Of course he didn't want to leave it. He wanted to scrub away all traces of Jason. But that wasn't realistic.

"Come on, let's get this back on." Prentiss said, reaching for the gown. Reid jumped a little at her movement but allowed her to pull it back onto his arms and over his shoulders. JJ made quick work of the ties then moved to dispose of the water down the sink in the corner.

Reid watched the water pouring into the sink. The disappointment on his face was clear. His hands were still shaking violently, his nerves were shot.

Reid's gaze was still fixed on the sink. Prentiss looked between Reid to JJ and back again.

"Reid?" She asked, curiously. He didn't answer.

JJ turned and then moved to wave a hand in front of Reid's eyes. No response.

"Emily. Get the doctor." JJ said suddenly, trying to keep calm. Reid couldn't go through another flashback.

Prentiss nodded and left the room right away.

JJ poked Reid gently in the shoulder. "Reid?" She tried again. "Reid?"

Reid's whole body was shaking now. If JJ hadn't known better, she'd have thought he was having some sort of fit. But she knew, that it was, once again, Reid's memories taking over his powerful mind. She felt helpless, there was nothing she could do to stop this. Until Reid started coming to terms with what had happened to him, the flashbacks were going to control his body and mind whenever his brain saw fit.

"Don't panic." Dr. Marston was saying as she re-entered the room. "It's not uncommon for people to experience flashbacks in such quick succession. It's like panic attacks. It can take hours for someone to recover." This time a nurse was following the doctor. Prentiss trailed behind.

"Dr. Reid?" The nurse asked gently. He didn't respond. His gaze was still fixed on the sink. "Dr. Reid?" She tried asking louder this time. The nurse went to touch his shoulder.

"Don't touch him." Dr. Marston said quickly. "I'm going to give him a Benzo."

"You're going to sedate him?" JJ asked, in angry shock.

"If I don't, he could be going in and out of flashbacks for hours. They are exhausting. He's not eating much as it is, which isn't helping. He can't afford to be using this much energy. He is here to heal."

"But isn't there something else you can do?" JJ sounded desperate. She didn't like the idea of sedation. It was just another loss of control for her friend.

"JJ, let them do their job." Prentiss said, calmly.

"My main priority is keeping Dr. Reid stable medically. The psychologist will explore the cause of his flashbacks, something I am not qualified to do. But right now, what he needs is some rest and a Benzo will give that to him."

JJ reluctantly nodded, moving away from the bedside to the corner of the room. She shook her head sadly. Prentiss moved to join her.

Dr. Marston swiftly left the room to get the medication.

A small whimper sounded in Reid's throat. JJ stared at him, her eyes hardening with thoughts of Jason.

"That isn't Reid." She said coldly. "I don't know who that is, but it's not Reid."

Prentiss shot a scrutinising gaze her way.

"Reid is strong... He'll get through this." Prentiss said.

"But for him to be like that." JJ nodded her head to the bed. "What the hell did he do to him?"

Prentiss furrowed her brows. She couldn't answer that. They knew what had been done to him. Well, at least the first time. She didn't think Reid was unjustified being as distressed as he was.

Dr. Marston soon returned to the room and moved straight to the bed to give Reid the injection. She injected the drug into his arm with ease. Within a minute, Reid's eyes started blinking slowly as if his eyelids were heavy.

The doctor stood watch over him, until the shaking subsided and he looked just about ready to drop off to sleep.

She placed a hand on each shoulder and pushed him back onto the pillow behind.

"Come on, Dr. Reid." He flopped back onto the pillow and his eyes closed peacefully. It was the calmest she'd seen him since he arrived.

She turned to look at the two agents in the corner. JJ now had tears running down her face.

"Are you okay?" Dr. Marston asked kindly.

"That's not Spence." She whispered in sad shock.

Dr. Marston nodded in understanding.

"Follow me." She said to the two ladies, leaving the nurse to see to Reid's pillows and covers.

She walked directly across the hall and into an office. Prentiss and JJ followed obediently.

"I need to talk to you about Dr. Reid's discharge." Dr. Marston said calmly.

The two agents nodded nervously. "He is yet to have his assessment with the Psychologist, but I'm expecting when he does he is going to be diagnosed with severe PTSD. The flashbacks and panic attacks are clear indicators and it's going to take a long time for him to overcome them."

JJ furrowed her brows and Emily nodded sadly.

"He is going to need someone to stay with him whilst he deals with these problems."

"We have already discussed this." Prentiss said confidently. It was still undecided where he was going to go, but most of them had expressed interest in taking Reid in for a few weeks.

"No. I don't think you understand." Dr. Marston chipped in. "He is going to need someone to stay with him, full-time. He is not in a position to be able to care for himself, right now. Whoever he stays with is going to have to be patient, understanding and most importantly be available 24/7. At least for a couple of weeks."

Dr. Marston could tell by the expressions on their faces that they hadn't considered this.

The BAU was down four workers, they were going to be strained as it was. Losing someone else so they could look after Reid seemed impossible. Strauss would never agree to it.

The doctor frowned a little. "Does he not have any family he could stay with? I noticed that Agent Hotchner is listed as next of kin. But does he have any family?"

Prentiss and JJ exchanged uneasy glances.

"No." Prentiss said. "None that are capable of looking after him." The depression she felt right now was expressed in her voice. "How long do you think he will need full-time care?"

"It's difficult to say." Dr. Marston answered honestly. "His mobility issues shouldn't be a problem for very long, perhaps a few days. But my main concern is the panic attacks and flashbacks. He needs someone with him to monitor these. At least until they become less intense and that could take any length of time. It really depends on whether he deals with his experiences."

That did not sound hopeful. They knew how notorious Reid was for dodging issues.

"What happens if no one can take the time off work?" Prentiss asked.

"We'll find someone." JJ snapped. "I'll have him, I'll take some leave."

"But JJ, you have Henry. That's not going to be good for him, seeing Reid like that."

"Is Henry your son?" Dr. Marston asked.

"Yes." JJ nodded.

"Well I'm inclined to agree with Agent Prentiss here, I'm afraid. I don't think it would be a good idea to have Dr. Reid around children right now. Children are naturally inquisitive and he won't understand what is going on. It could ultimately make things worse and distress him - both of them."

"So what do we do?" Prentiss asked again.

"Well, that really depends on Dr. Reid's circumstances. The obvious, and less favourable option, is to have admitted to a Psychiatric centre." JJ gasped. "Not for long-term care, just until his mind is stabilising."

"We can't do that to him." JJ stated, categorically.

"Okay, well the other alternative really depends on his financial situation. It might be possible to pay for a live-in carer to come in and look after him. But it is very expensive and might exacerbate his anxiety as it's someone he doesn't know and he might feel quite vulnerable."

"So that doesn't leave us many options at all then." JJ said angrily.

Dr. Marston smiled sympathetically.

"Look, you don't have to make any drastic decisions today. Go back and talk to your team, discuss the options and see what you can work out. It's early days right now, we might see an improvement over the next couple of days, particularly if he allows the Psychologist to talk to him."

"What? And he might make a miraculous recovery?" JJ said sarcastically.

"No. But an improvement is not impossible." She looked JJ right in the eye. "Your friend is still in there, Agent Jareau. But he's been through a terrible trauma and his mind doesn't know how to cope. In situations like this, everything shuts down, including personality. His brain is in shock. It's very possible that over the next few days, the shock will clear and you will start to see a glimpse of the Dr. Reid you know. Just give it time."

"And what if we don't?"

"You will." Dr. Marston said confidently. "Go back and talk to your team. It's amazing what people can come up with when you all put your minds to it." She said kindly.

"Come on JJ." Prentiss put a hand on her shoulder and squeezed. "Let's go."

"I just need to get my briefcase."

JJ left the room as Prentiss mouthed a 'thanks' to the doctor. It wasn't like JJ to leave out the pleasantries, but she was so distressed by Reid and his behaviour, Prentiss wasn't sure whether she could even think straight.

Prentiss followed her across into Reid's room to find her stood next to the bed, leaning over Reid. He looked so peaceful. It was nice to see. He was lay on his back, his eyes gently closed. His chest rising and falling softly. His hair had been swept back out of his face. The only things wrong with the picture were the IVs and the numerous bruises, stitches and bandages covering his hands, face and neck.

Prentiss felt her eyes welling up, then stepped out of the room. As much as she didn't want to admit it, the thought of Reid never being the same didn't only worry JJ. It terrified her too. She just wished they could rewind the clock to a week ago, when everything was so different. She wiped a tear away that was running down her cheek. She heard JJ softly whispering to Reid, she looked back in to see her gently kissing his forehead and stroking his cheek.

"I'll see you tomorrow." JJ said, picking up her briefcase and leaving the room. The tears running freely down her face.