Enjoy!
Chapter 11.
Still shock frozen, Regina watched the blonde woman sleep, her chest moving with each breath the Savior took. The soft color filled Emma's up to then pale face, and the comforting heat returned to the blonde's skin, and as each moment passed, the Savior looked more and more like a person sleeping, unconcerned with the world. Feeling the strong pulsing beneath her hand, she looked at her palm, placed right below Emma's left shoulder, a bit away from her heart. As she took away the hand, a sound pierced through her stunned consciousness. Turning into the direction, she saw her son sitting by the Cabin door, on the floor, with his knees pulled up to his chest.
His face was covered in tear marks, but at the second she was drawn to his eyes, looking at her with wonder and confusion at the events precedent to the very moment. "Mom?" he whispered, his eyes darting between Regina and Emma, still not believing what he had witnessed only seconds before. The surprise, so apparent in his youthful and innocent face brought Regina back to her senses.
With overwhelming urgency and need to leave, she rose of the bed and walked to the door, stopping only for a moment by her son's side, reaching for his face. Touching his cheek tenderly, she smiled down at him, although it felt like an uncomfortable mask on her face. "Go to her," she whispered to Henry, caressing the ridge of his cheek bone, before she left the room in a hurry.
As she came to the hatch to the deck, she leaned onto the wood paneled wall, breathing deeply, as she tried to dispel the panic trying to overpower her. Whenever she closed her eyes, she saw the moment Emma had awakened, looking straight at her, with no surprise in her eyes at the revelation. Feeling the walls closing in on her, Regina moved, climbing up the stairs, reaching the deck of the ship.
But as she cleared the hatch she saw people standing close, waiting for her to return. Snow waited, watching the passage with hope in her eyes, and as their eyes connected, Regina just nodded, her gesture going unnoticed by everyone else. At the grateful and pleased smile, the former Evil Queen moved away, not able to stand the triumph in the woman's behavior. Not willing to deal with any of them at the moment, least of all her new discovered brother, she summoned her magic.
"Regina!" Neal called after her, having not noticed her until she moved away from the hatch, running toward her but before he could reach her she disappeared in the swirl of purple mist. As he turned around, he saw David's and also his father's relief evident on their faces. But the reaction that puzzled him the most was of the pixie haired woman before him. Snow was trying to suppress her smile, as she came to him, watching the place where Regina had been only moments before. "How can this be?" he whispered, outrage noticeable in his manner. But when Snow took his forearm gently, the cold wave of misery passed through him, making him accept his loss. He realized that his arrogant belief that he had been still Emma's love of her life, even after the way he had abandoned her and doubted her had gotten the better of him. Shaking his head he looked toward his father, now a mortal man, feeling overwhelmed by the truths he had learned in the past several hours.
"It just is," Snow said quietly, still holding his arm in her gentle grasp, glancing up toward his face, her sympathy evident in her kind smile.
"But she is the Evil Queen!" Neal whispered without fire in his words, knowing already that the moniker would get him nowhere, especially after he had learned all the facts of their journey, including his family relations.
"Is she?" Snow asked, not really expecting an answer. If anyone had told her that she would become a staunch defender of her former step mother just a month before they had set out to find Henry she would have told them that they had lost their mind. Turning away from Neal, she looked at the spot where Regina had stood before the mist had taken her away. "She is a woman who was abandoned by Fate just because of who her parents were, causing her a great deal of pain. She is also the woman who raised your son into a wonderful and brave young man he is." In that moment, Snow realized she sounded just like Emma had, when they had had their talk about Regina. "She is your kin. And she is Henry's mother." As much as Snow's voice was gentle and her touch kind, Neal could hear the underlying warning and threat issued with a tender smile and blaze in her eyes.
Neal nodded, defeated. Not only did the Savior have her True Love in the Queen, but the dark woman was openly accepted in the Charming family, her position as his son's mother firm and unyielding. There was not much he could do after all that had been done. Rumplestiltskin had told him everything, and he did think that the old man had not kept anything back for the sake of transparency, hoping for forgiveness in return. If anything, the stories of his manipulations of Regina in the past made Neal feel a bit of admiration for the woman, for she had lived through it with her head held high, no matter the blows she had received and dealt, in return. If he had been in her place, he would have given up a long time ago, broken and damaged beyond recognition and recovery. Walking away from Snow, he glanced upon the spot where his sister, the idea he needed time to get used to, had been the last time he had seen her. Stepping slowly, he walked to the Helm, nodding to Hook in greeting. He turned around and looked out at the sea, leaning at the railing, knowing that Hook would give him the time he needed for himself, to sort all things out.
Emma felt her consciousness seep into her mind, bringing the sense of her body along. The feeling of heaviness was leaving her limbs, receding slowly as she sensed her body awaken. But, the heaviness refused to leave her upper body, pressing down onto her. Opening her eyes, she reached for her chest and came across a shaggy mop of hair she recognized instantly. Going through it with tenderness she lifted her head a bit, finding her son locking his happy eyes with hers, not moving from his spot on her body.
"Hey, kid," she murmured, letting her head fall back onto the pillow she had been lying on. She felt worried for a moment as she had not expected to feel so weak after waking up. "What are you doing?" Her voice, still weak from misuse, was barely audible in the small room, but as Henry still had his ear pressed on his mother's chest he heard her well enough.
"Listening to your heart." Henry spoke easily, refusing to lift his head. "It is good to finally hear it beat again."
Hearing his reply, Emma frowned. Finally? Just, how long had she been under, she was wondering. She was not pleased with the idea of her son witnessing her 'death' albeit it had been only temporary. If she had been under the curse for a long time, then Henry and the others definitely were very worried about her.
Gently tapping Henry's back, she gestured him to move a bit so she could rise. Moving gingerly, she tested her limbs before she attempted to move them. Sitting up, she glanced down, seeing herself in the fresh clothes, the color tones being somewhat darker than she usually wore. Smiling, she imagined that she was glad that Regina had picked up the things for her to wear, not Mary Margaret. At the thought of the older woman, her mind immediately summoned the last memory she had of Regina, remembering her chocolate brown eyes looking down at her in stupefied panic. She had called the woman her queen, remembering how she liked to tease the older woman with her title.
Again, as she straightened out, she glanced at her clothes, dusting them out, even as she knew there would not be a speck of dust on her, due to Regina's protective barriers, whose remains she could still feel in the air around her. She tried to account for the lost time but all she knew was that she had been away for a second, or eternity, and that to her it was all the same. She looked up, and saw Henry, who had risen from the bed while she had been ruminating of her cursed sleep, eyeing her expectantly. Reaching for him, she transferred her weight onto her legs, standing up in what seemed forever. Along with the blood rushing through her veins, she felt her magic simmering right beneath the surface, waiting for her to summon it. Smiling at her boy, she threw her arm around his shoulders and step by step, walked out of the room feeling her energy return with each new step. By the time they reached the stairs, she felt as good as new.
Climbing up on her own, closely followed by her son, she reached the deck, exiting the belly of the ship, her a bit ungracious move drawing the attention of every person present. She scanned the crowd, seeing some new faces, mostly young ones, some old ones, the ones she had traveled with, some unexpected ones, but never the one she yearned for. Finally, her gaze settled on Snow, the instinct telling the Savior that her mother would have the answers she needed. Stepping closer to her, she felt the boy stay close to her, gripping her hand in his, as if he was afraid of her disappearing on him, or dying again.
Before she reached her mother, however, Emma was intercepted by the man she had not thought she would see any time soon. Neal stood before her, alive and well, looking at her like she was a mirage of some kind. His dark eyes looked her over, searching for something desperately, but she knew he would not find what he was looking for. Placing a hand to his shoulder, she focused onto his eyes, drawing his gaze to her own eyes. "I am glad that you live," she spoke silently, her voice calm and uninterested, as her face held such impassivity that it frightened him – for Emma's face was never passive, it always had some movement on it, whether it was a nervous twitch of the muscle of her jaw, worried frown on her forehead, or mischievous smirk on her lips – her face never stood still. But now it did. Not even her eyes showed recognition or any emotion when they looked at him. Feeling the loss more keenly than he ever would have guessed he would, he let himself be pushed aside by her insistent hand.
Reaching her intended goal, she stood before the pixie haired woman. Letting herself be hugged by her mother, she brought her arms up, patting the back of the woman gently. She saw her father's blue eyes fill with happy tears, but he only nodded at her, knowing her deep need to be done with the greetings and celebrations, as she more important things to get to.
Pulling back from the hug she looked into her mother's eyes, gleaming with wetness. As she reached for her mother's cheek, she placed her other hand onto Snow's shoulder. "Where is she?" Although the question had been asked without any emotion, Snow could see them swirling in her eyes. The love mixed in with apprehension and concern shone brightly out of the green eyes, making it almost painful to be submitted to her gaze.
"I don't know," Snow spoke softly, sorry that she could not help. "She seemed really shaken when she let her mist take her away." Gesturing toward the spot where Regina had been there last, she shrugged, before she turned to Emma once more. "I may have been a little too harsh on her to make her understand," she added in a soft whisper, almost too low for Emma to hear. But the blonde woman did anyways, and she pierced her mother with a stony glare before her countenance changed into a softer one.
"I am sure it was necessary, with her being hard headed and all…" Emma spoke, her voice taking a tinge of humor as she smiled gently at her mother. She looked at the spot, still feeling the remnants of the magic Regina had left behind. "I need to go," she said, glancing toward the pixie haired woman, her voice growing soft. Snow took Henry to her side and nodded, with an understanding smile.
Keeping the boy to her side, Snow watched Emma walk away. Seeing her daughter spread her arms wide, the white and blue light seeping out of her closed fists, she smiled. As Emma glanced over them once more in good byes, she decided to speak. "Bring her back. We'll wait here." There were so many meanings in her shaking voice, each speaking of a different thing, but Emma had heard everything hidden beneath the words understanding each plea perfectly – as if it had been put in utterance. Emma kept her gaze to her mother, smiling at her son and nodded. Winking at him, she allowed her magic to envelop her and to whisk her away, to a place she had not seen in person but in another's memories.
She had a feeling she would find the older woman there. It was the place where it all had begun. Regina's need for vengeance, at least.
Emma looked around and smiled. Although she had not been there before, she had been in its counterpart in Storybrooke many times, as Henry had wanted to show off with his knowledge of horses. The building had the same shape, but it was different in coloring and style. Where the Storybrooke stable was modern and freshly painted, with modern appliances about, the building in front of her was old and abandoned, although it seemed it had been well cared for once upon a time.
Walking on the path to the front door, she took stock of her own body. Sluggishness she had felt aboard Jolly Roger was gone, and the magic was brimming in her, ready for anything. Last time she had been off to the wilderness in the Enchanted Forest, she had an encounter with an ogre. Who knew what could be out there this time, Emma thought while she regarded the shadows around her.
Pushing the wide door open, she winced at the loud groan of unused hinges of the heavy oak door. She peered inside, searching for the familiar outline of her friend, and now - so much more. When she had entered completely into the old building, and her eyes had gotten used to the darkness, she saw what she was looking for several feet away, on the floor.
Regina was kneeling on the floor, her head bowed, and her hand touching a spot on the floor. Emma gasped when the scene caused her mind to super impose it with another one, this one from her memory, seeing Regina holding Daniel in her arms, desperately trying to kiss him alive but failing. The pain of the memory, the suffering Regina had suffused to the image by her own experience of it, shook Emma, bringing her down to her knees. She watched the dark haired woman sob in anguish, unable to move, to comfort her. Finally, as the shock of the grief had let go of her limbs, Emma raised her hand, reaching toward the other woman.
She placed her hand on Regina's shaking shoulder, tenderly caressing it with her thumb. Only a reminder that the brunette was not alone, in her nightmare, but it had to be enough for now. Emma knew that if she pushed too hard, inserted herself in Regina's space too much, it would end badly. The raging Evil Queen badly and Emma didn't think the world was ready for it. Honestly, she didn't think she was. So, she just waited.
After a while, when the sobs stopped, Regina turned slowly to the blonde woman behind her, the recognition sparkling slowly in her dark watery eyes. When she realized who was before her, Regina blinked with surprise, brought back to present instantly. Instead of her father, as she indeed had expected because he had been the one who had found her in the stables that day long before, when she had cradled Daniel's head on her lap, crying inconsolably, there was the Savior, watching her with those understanding and kind eyes she had inherited from her mother. Anger surged in her, such immense power rose at her bidding, making the air around her crackle with electricity. Pushing away the consoling hand with a violent smack, Regina came to her feet quickly, aided by the force of magic. "What are you doing here?" the older woman spoke with such malice and hate in her voice that the Savior had no words against it.
Emma felt her heart speed up. The storm was coming, and she was not sure if she would survive the amassing gale, because Regina was in a mood for damage. Rising slowly to her feet, keeping her hands in the plain sight, she stood her ground bravely, hoping that she would reach Regina before the older woman did something to hurt herself.
"You are not allowed to be here!" Regina whispered angrily, her eyes flashing. In that moment, Emma realized that it wasn't her Regina was raging against. It was Snow. But before she could do anything about it, Regina extended her hand and the stream of fire came rushing right at her. Instinctively, Emma deflected the attack coming closer to the woman, silently thanking her for merciless training Regina had given her only several days before. It also had given her the insight in the older woman's fighting style, and she somewhat knew what to expect next. And, as she had thought, Emma remarked to herself with a smirk, the stream of ice came at her. Not giving it more than a thought, Emma dismissed the cold magic and came so close to Regina that she could touch her. Without hesitation, she reached out, grabbing Regina's wrists, pulling them up. However, as she had expected more resistance, her sudden move brought them to the edge of one of the stalls, Regina's back hitting the division panel. As the older woman released a muffled groan, Emma held her hands tight, but not hard enough to hurt the brunette.
"Regina!" Emma spoke harshly, expecting her captive to fight. And, as if reminded by Emma's thoughts, Regina started wriggling, trying to push her captor away. "Look at me," Emma urged, resisting the hits Regina was giving out with her knees. "Look at me, Regina," Emma said with a groan, as Regina managed to strike a painful blow. "Damn it, Regina, stop that!" Emma growled, as she pulled Regina's hands up, high above their heads, using one hand to keep them in place and the other to grab the woman's chin, pulling her face toward her. The sudden violence of the move startled Regina and she looked into the eyes of her captor, forced by the insistent hand under her chin. The concerned green eyes darted over her face, searching for something. But, the eyes, as much as they were similar to Snow's, were not the eyes of her once nemesis. Focusing onto the face of her captor she saw who it really was with her in the stables.
"Emma?" Regina whispered, her voice trembling tremulously.
Emma sighed in relief. "Hey," she breathed out, releasing Regina from her hold, but still keeping her hand on Regina's chin. But instead of firm grip, it was a tender hold, keeping their eyes connected. But as soon as she spoke Regina's eyes changed, the fear passing through them. Surprised with the development, Emma could not react in time to catch the older woman as Regina pushed away and disappeared in the swirling magic. Emma was so fiercely reminded of another event, this time from her own memory. It had been when she had accused Regina of killing Archie. The same look of desolation and distress passed through Regina's eyes then.
Lowering her head down into her hands, Emma closed her eyes. It didn't go as well as she had hoped, but at least they were both alive. Passing fingers through her hair, the blonde woman looked around. With one hand, she scratched the back of her hand, while her other hand fell to her hip. Where would Regina go next?
With all the knowledge Emma had of Regina, gathered painstakingly by listening and reading to other people's stories and learning about the woman from the source itself, the answer was easy. She would go to the place where she had been the most powerful. But, where was that place? Was it the former White Castle, the seat of her kingdom? Or perhaps the Charming's Castle, where she had spent the last moment in this realm, with Snow brought down on her knees at her feet? Or maybe the jagged cliffs where the curse had been enacted?
With an exasperated chuckle, Emma shook her head. Of course Regina would make it difficult. It would not be like Regina if it was not. Leaving the stables, Emma made a decision to start first with the White Castle, but she would check every place she could think of if need be. Remembering the position of the castle from Regina's memories, she closed her eyes, once more letting her magic engulf her.
She appeared in front of the massive castle placed in the valley among the hills. Surrounded by what once appeared to be lush and teeming forest, the castle itself was on a small plateau rising above the water level. On three sides it was protected by hills and mountains, while on the one side it had an access to the small bay, hidden by the hillocks. A good strategic place for defense, Emma remarked as she looked around. The castle itself was grandiose and opulent, its strangely shaped buildings presenting an intricate design. For some reason it was not as damaged by the violent passage of the curse as the Charming's castle had been. Feeling the magic in the stone around her, she understood that it had been protected and that the magic was the only reason it was still standing.
Pushing the gates open, Emma rushed inside, guided by her instinct, or as she observed to herself, Regina's memories. Each sculpture, each turn of the path, each new door she passed brought out new images in her mind, driving the feelings of loss, entrapment and helpless anger into Emma, making her feel more and more understanding to Regina's plight.
Steeling herself for the onslaught of new memories, Emma entered the heart of the castle, passing by the gardens. Unable to stop the tears, she saw the shadows of past run around, telling her the stories of passing days Regina had spent in the captivity of her own grandfather. She pressed on, her quick step turned into run as she went by luxurious rooms, all nothing but the gilded cages to her mind. She did not question herself where she was going, but followed the directions that her heart had given her. It had been often said that Emma did things impulsively, sometimes to her own detriment. But, now, after all that had happened, she learned to trust her instinct. So, she followed the directions, running hard up the stairs, going to the place where she knew, with absolute certainty, that Regina would be at.
She disregarded the pain in her legs, as she dashed over the landing of the floor she was looking for. Entering the hallway she stopped in place. The hallway was actually the terrace, going all the way across the side of the castle, showing the majesty of the kingdom from that side, as the various towns and villages could be seen from that place. Emma shook her head, knowing that it was only the memory, for there were none of the villages remaining after the curse. Continuing down the passage, she allowed herself to catch her breath from all the running. Finally, she reached the place she was looking for. The place she was guided to.
The Royal Chambers.
She pushed the gilded doors open, and entered the room, ready for anything. But, what she found was not what she had expected. Regina stood on the terrace, looking out. But it wasn't the pose that was surprising, it was the clothes. Regina was wearing dark overcoat covering her black leather breeches and knee high riding boots. The air around the woman was simmering with the aura of malice. Emma smiled at the presentation, knowing that the Evil Queen had been resurrected for this moment, as the final defense. Knowing that it would irk Regina, she quirked her mouth in her insolent grin, and with a quick prayer to whoever listened, she forced on.
"I thought I might find you here," Emma spoke, startling the Queen. As she walked to the other woman, Emma looked around, seeing the room for the first time with her own eyes. Untroubled by memories, she could see the elegance the room was decorated with. Much like the Mayor's Mansion in Storybrooke. As she lined up with the other woman, she noticed the frown on her face. "Enjoying the view?" Emma asked, leaning on the railing of the balcony. She glanced at the woman, as she crossed her arms nonchalantly.
"How did you find me?" Regina whispered softly, looking at Emma with something like wonder in her dark eyes, breaking through the Evil Queen's façade. Her hands were clenching the railings hard, the fact Emma did not miss.
"I will always…" Emma started, but before she could continue she watched the woman beside her explode.
"Don't you dare!" Regina yelled vehemently, as she pierced Emma with cold and hard look. After a moment, she turned around and strode out of the room without another word. The hard clack of her heels reverberated in the halls of the huge and empty castle.
Rushing after Regina, Emma managed to catch up to her at the corner of the terraced hall. Falling into the step, she followed Regina silently until they reached a small meeting room. Emma glanced around, recognizing the place and shiver passed through her, at the memories of the place. Regina smiled haughtily at the cold understanding that Emma's face showed.
"Yes, this is the place," Regina spoke, her voice strong and demanding, filled with condescending sneer Emma had witnessed only when Regina had been in particularly vicious mood in Storybrooke. "This is the place where I took poor Graham's heart." The malice in Regina's voice overwhelmed Emma, as she stood frozen in place. "This is where I ordered him to kill your mother. Where I had killed many others, took countless hearts and planned and ordered many deaths around." As she spoke, Regina circled Emma, letting all the almost forgotten behavior of the Evil Queen rise to the surface, as she played with her victim. "Here, I orchestrated the death of the good king Leopold. Oh, it was one of my better works, you know. How the Genie ate every word I fed him, not once questioning anything. And he, in his brave rush to save his dear beloved, killed the only man who had been upfront and friends with him." The mocking filled Regina's voice, the harsh edge of the powerful monarch heard in the tone. Emma closed her eyes at the sorrow she felt, letting her tears fall.
When Regina saw the tears, she aimed for the kill. "This is where I ruled." The strong and clear enunciation of the I sent a clear message. Regina was once more assuming the title of the Evil Queen, seemingly destroying all the good work she had done in the name of redemption and recovery.
But, Emma knew better.
She had seen it once before. And she thanked the lucky star that had given her the experience for she knew now what to do. Internally, she shrugged at her own comment, because the experience she had gained had been gotten in foster care, in one of the youth housing centers where the kids had been forced to attend psych sessions. There, she had met a girl, a bit younger than her, Sarah. Abused from the early age, Sarah had major issues with trust and love, unable to form attachments. In the group sessions she had shared her history with other girls, Emma included, telling how whenever she would grow close to someone that someone would turn on her one way or the other, hurting her worse than the one before. Eventually, she had been brought to the point when she would rather destroy anything resembling happiness to her than allow another chance, or the slightest opportunity to be hurt. The behavior explained away by the center's resident psych made Emma realize that she had been one of the lucky ones in the system.
"I know," Emma whispered, following Regina with her eyes, turning slightly when she would walk out of her line of sight.
Regina saw something in Emma's eyes, and decided to try again. "This is where I planned every step of the hunt for your mother."
"I know." The soft voice carried strength in it that unnerved Regina.
"I killed thousands with my bare hands!" Regina raised her voice, her temper rising as well.
"I know," Emma said, looking Regina directly in the eyes. The defiant posture the Savior had taken served its purpose, irking the Queen beyond her façade. Regina turned away to leave, but the passage filled with the white mist, cutting her way. Furiously, the brunette tried to break through it with magic, but the mist did not yield. Feeling trapped she turned to Emma, grabbing her lapels roughly.
"You will leave this place!" Regina managed angrily through her clenched jaw. "Now!"
Although the grip hurt, and the urge to push away offending hands was almost overwhelming, Emma stood motionlessly. Her only answer was softly spoken NO.
"Leave me alone!" Regina screamed into the air, still holding to Emma's lapels.
Emma placed her hands over Regina's and smiled gently. "You forget, we have shared our memories. I know everything there is to know about you. As you know everything about me." Emma held Regina closely as she spoke, not allowing the Queen to step away. "And, I am still here, with you."
Regina managed to pull out one of her hands out of the firm grip, using it immediately to free herself completely, pushing Emma back with her magic. She sneered at the understanding look on the Savior's face. "I don't need your pity." Regina spat, as she stepped away. "You were always a persistent fool, Swan. Just like your father."
Emma nodded slowly. "Perhaps." Crossing her hands on her chest, she looked the brunette circle the room, trapped with the magical mist. "But, for some reason it worked for me…" she added casually, shrugging her shoulders.
"Get out of my way," Regina yelled, attacking Emma with the purple swirl of magic, but Emma was ready for it, and just shrugged it away, prepared for another volley of raging power directed at her. "Now!"
The room filled with magical fire, heating up the air, but not damaging the things around them. The fire was meant for Emma, to hurt her but never to kill her, and the blonde woman knew that. With a simple wave of her hand, Emma extinguished the blaze, smirking at Regina. "You may be the powerful Evil Queen," Emma spoke, blocking Regina's magic the same way she had blocked Rumplestiltskin, "but I am the Savior!" She gestured at her magical supremacy, keeping her voice calm and far from gloating. It was never about overpowering her, but about showing her the way.
With the angry snarl, the Queen raised her hands up in helpless rage. Coming to the mist obstacle in the way, Regina turned back and with another scornful scowl on her face she spoke. "Leave, or I will destroy you!"
At those words, Emma leaned her head to a side, watching the other woman inspect the barrier carefully. Oddly, it did not sound as a threat. It sounded more like a statement. It sounded like a warning, a promise of regret. With that thought, it hit her. "Is that it?" Emma spoke, still thinking about Regina's previous words. Disregarding the frantic but confused look directed at her, she stepped closer to the former Queen. "Is that what this is all about? You are afraid for me?"
"Believe what you will, just leave." Regina spoke keeping her back to the blonde woman.
Emma reached Regina and held her from behind, leaning her head onto the brunette's shoulder, pulling her tight against her own body when the brunette tried to wriggle out of the forced hug. "I am not leaving you," Emma whispered gently. She felt the fight drain out of the older woman, and for a moment she wondered if it was a trick to lower her guard down. "I know you are in a lot of pain, and that this is the only way you know how to dull the edges of it. But, hey, I am still here." With a soft nuzzle of her cheek, Emma moved Regina's hair of her face. "Let me help," she whispered so softly it was almost inaudible.
"Why do you keep on coming after me?" Regina asked, her voice soft.
"Because I know you. I understand you, all of you." Emma tightened her hold gently. "Because I love you."
At the words, Regina tensed but before she would fight out of the embrace, Emma continued in her soft voice, knowing the fear Regina was feeling. "I am not here to claim you, or to force you into something you don't want." She slowly released her grip around the brunette, turning her gently around. "I am here as a friend." She took Regina's hands and leaned them to her own chest, keeping Regina close, but not in the crowding manner, giving her the illusion of space. "I am here to not let you drown, and pull you to safety."
Regina felt her eyes water at the soft voice and the conviction Emma had in her salvation. But the doubts and fears were still too strong in her. She glanced up in to the kind eyes of the blonde woman, the tears running freely. A gentle finger passed across her cheek wiping away the tears, the close movement of the hand making her eyes close. "Please," she begged, like she had begged only once before, her voice shaking with tears and sorrow. "Let me go…"
"I am not holding you as a prisoner. I will let you go if that is what you really want." Emma spoke, still holding one of Regina's hands, but the hand on Regina's face fell down to her side. "If you honestly want me away, then I will honor your wish. But, not if the demand is made in fear or in some odd need to protect me from yourself." At the stipulation, Regina's eyes opened, shining with surprise. Emma released her hand and stepped away, making the mist in the hallway disappear. When Regina started toward the hall, Emma nodded in defeat, her shoulders slumping but she did not move to stop the other woman, honoring her word.
Emma turned away, not willing to watch Regina walk out of the room. The soft buzzing of headache brought on by tears filled Emma's head making it impossible to hear the clicks of the Regina's boots on the hard stone. In a way, she was thankful, because she knew that the ringing sound of the heels would have haunted her till the end of her days. Dropping herself on the small sofa in the corner of the room, away from the door, she curled into herself, feeling her heart break. She could not force Regina into acceptance. Well, she could but it would make her no different than any other authority in Regina's life, making the decisions for her. Emma refused to be equated with Cora or Rumplestiltskin, or even Leopold, if only by her own mind. She would not keep Regina against her will, no matter the reasons why Regina was running away. But, the choice hurt, nonetheless. She let her tears come, as she was alone in the room.
"Why won't you let yourself be happy?" Emma murmured into the room, hiding her head beneath her elbows, as her forehead was on her knees. The pain she felt coursing through her made it hard for her to breathe or to even think.
"Because the price might be too high," a soft voice replied, close to her. Emma jerked, lifting her head and looked at the person who had spoken. It had been Regina's voice but she dared not believe. She saw the woman the voice belonged to kneeling on the floor beside the sofa, only an arm's length away, looking up at her with the tears in her eyes, brimming with pain. As Emma could not speak, Regina forced on, knowing she would have to put her fears in words, perhaps for the first time in the long while. "There is the fear that you being my True Love, what I did for Daniel cannot be justified, because he was not. And, the fear that you were not, and if I let myself hope that you were… But those fears are irrelevant now." Regina picked the seam line of her coat, not knowing what to do with her hands, as she had never felt so unnerved before. "What if you die? Like you could have died from that curse… What if you die and I go back to destroying the world? Who would pull me back, this time? Who would be able to stop me? I killed so many before…" Her voice shook with emotions, but she still did not dare to stop or to look up. "And worse, what is being with me corrupts you that your heart starts to blacken? What if I destroy you?" She had lowered her voice to the whisper, not able to prevent it from breaking. "I cannot bear the thought of a world without you as a Savior in it," she mumbled into the chin.
Emma smiled at the muttered statement. It was the biggest compliment ever Regina could have given her, and as well it was the closest Regina had ever come to proclaiming her feelings for Emma. During Regina's speech, she had calmed herself down, listening to the words and underlying emotions. It appeared that Regina had never left the room, turning back at the last moment, but Emma had already in the different position and she had not seen her stay.
As the older woman was still sitting on her heels in front of her, Emma decided to move. Unlocking her limbs, she lowered herself onto the floor and pulled Regina's head onto her shoulder, pulling her into embrace. "I am sorry," Regina mumbled into her shoulder, the tears seeping into her jacket. "I am sorry," she repeated the words over and over as she clung to Emma. The blonde woman soothed her gently, feeling her own tears glide down her cheeks, into Regina's hair.
When they calmed down enough to breathe in an easy rhythm of relaxation, Emma shifted gently, lifting Regina's head, guiding it a bit away, so she could see the chocolate eyes. "I can't promise that I will not die, but I can promise I will fight against that outcome with all that I have, and I promise to be more careful in the future." When Regina nodded in acceptance, she smiled gently and leaned their foreheads together. "As for destroying me, I think it's you who is in danger of corruption." As she spoke, Emma wickedly smiled and started tickling the older woman making her scream in delight, as she tried to wiggle away.
"I surrender! I surrender!" Regina squealed in between the bouts of laughter, trying to push the insistent hands away. "I give up!" she said breathlessly, hitting Emma's shoulder in play.
"So soon, my dear?" Emma imitated the haughty tone of the Evil Queen, to Regina's surprise. But, before Emma could ask what was wrong, Regina burst into another bout of laughter, pointing at Emma.
"I am much better at that," Regina pointed out as she was able to get some air into her lungs.
"Oh, I have no doubt that you are," Emma spoke, dropping down beside Regina on the floor. Leaning onto her elbow, she looked at the smiling brunette lying down, stretched out on the ground. Her gaze had drawn Regina's attention and at her frown, Emma just took the closest Regina's hand and held it in her palm. "Seriously, though. I have grown up on the streets of major cities. There is not much that can corrupt me."
Regina turned gently her hand, intertwining her fingers with Emma's. "After all that I have learned, and from where I am from, I cannot help but be concerned." Even though she spoke calmly, the underlying worry was clear. Emma kissed the back of her palm and smiled.
"And that is all right, until it overwhelms you and you start making stupid choices." Even though the words themselves held the slight sting of reprimand, the tone was gentle and patient. Emma locked her eyes with Regina's. "Remember, you are not alone in this. There is the whole clan of Charmings out there to help out, as well as the other side of the family. Not to forget the entire cluster of friends we have, wanting or not. And I want you to know," Emma released the hand in the favor of the face, caressing the cheek below her. "Whenever you feel your fears rising up, tell me – no matter how silly they might be for you. Please, don't keep them away from me." At the Regina's soft nod, Emma wiped the errant tear of the brunette's cheek, smiling at her companion. The blonde woman lowered herself down on the floor, pleased that she had made her point, easing Regina's fears, for the time being.
After some time had passed, Emma jumped up, startling Regina. Offering her hands to help the brunette rise, Emma smirked irresistibly at the older woman, making her smile. "I think a tour of this place is in order," Emma spoke, nudging Regina with her elbow, her gleeful mood infectious. Offering her elbow with a sharp gentlemanly bow, Emma smiled when Regina did indeed place her arm through the hook of her elbow, guiding them toward the stairs.
"And after all of that is over, I guess you will take me to bed?" Emma spoke not thinking about what she said. When Regina faltered in her step, Emma looked at the other woman and saw the blanched face of the former Queen. "No, I mean, to sleep, we will find ourselves a place to sleep. I guess there is a bed in this castle? I don't feel like going back to the ship just yet, and it will be dark then. I didn't mean to insinuate anything, well unless you want to, but it is OK if you…" At the soft clearing of the throat beside her, Emma flushed, feeling the heat suffuse her face up to the hair roots, closing her mouth before anything else escaped. She peered through her eyelashes at the brunette, seeing only the amused smile on her face.
"There is indeed a place where we can sleep," Regina spoke kindly choosing not to tease the poor woman. "If you want to stay here, I can find us a bed." But then she just smirked at the still blushing woman. "And I will keep your offer in mind," Regina added in lascivious whisper, laughing out loud at the gaping younger woman, leaving her behind.
"Regina!" Emma yelled in not quite mustered outrage. "It's not funny," she complained as she quickened her pace to catch up with her guide…