After prolonged stay in hospital (and not having PC near me almost drove me nuts), and various other personal problems and issues, the second part of the chapter is here. This part was extremely difficult for me to write, as I tried to twist the events of the episode "Bleeding Through" to fit my own story, tweaking the small details, and taking into the account that the whole part is depicting one day... Not only I had problems with the dialog, but it seems that the particular episode was problematic for me on personal level, as it brought out some very tough memories for me...
I must warn people, this one was emotionally hard to write - and I am simply clueless to what warnings to put due to emotional baggage, so if you are familiar with the particular episode, it follows the similar path, for the first part. Near the end of the chapter is the dream sequence, a large chunk of text in italics, and it contains some sad moments.
As per usual MO, this is not beta-ed.
Hope you like it.
Enjoy!
Chapter 25. Part II
Storming down the narrow stairs, Regina entered her magical vault, setting the torches ablaze almost unconsciously as she directed herself toward the corner with her mother's things. Paying no heed to the Mirror's dour greeting, the brunette opened the trunk filled with books, remembering the coloring of the tome she was looking for, moving aside the books she was not interested in at the moment, and finding the one she had been looking for. Letting the lid of the trunk fall with a loud thud, Regina turned around and leaned against it as she explored the volume on dark magic.
"The nectar of Manzanilla," Regina murmured as she read the list of ingredients for the spell, nodding her head as she went through the entire list. "This should be easy," she spoke out loud as she turned toward the corridor where she kept her supplies for potion making.
"Madam Mayor, what do you intend with such dangerous substance?" Sidney asked as she passed by him, watching her with wariness. It was a very poisonous liquid, capable of killing many with a single ounce of it, and it went against the new path the brunette had proclaimed to be on. He, as her ever faithful servant, sought to provide counsel. "Does it have anything to do with the guest we had yesterday?"
"Not your concern, Glass," Regina brushed him off as she pocketed the vial with the desired liquid that she had found in her mother's things, not the least bit surprised he had kept his eye on the happenings of the town. Before she started walking toward the stairs, having gathered several more items from the shelves, she smirked at the glowing mirror. "Have fun, Sidney," she spoke in parting before leaving, the place plunging into darkness as soon she stepped off the stairs.
The next stop she made was Gold's shop, already having informed her brother that she would stop by it for something. The gruff acknowledgement and a reminder to lock up was the only response she had gotten from Neal, making her shake her head at his lack of interest for his father's business. However, without him present she would not need to waste any time on explaining what she needed to find, but use it on searching the thing she needed. Having learned where her kin had stashed the keys, she unlocked the door and pushed it open, the sound of the bell announcing her to the empty shop. Despite the lack of desire to deal with the things in the shop, Regina noticed that Neal was keeping it clean and the floors swept. Closing the door behind her and stepping toward the back room, the Mayor turned on the lights, tapping her upper lip lightly with her finger, considering where Rumplestiltskin would put the infamous candle he had manipulated her mother's death. As her sharp eyes passed over the glass displays, she stepped behind the counter, opening the drawers systematically, riffling through them with care as she was more than aware that her old master had a penchant of harboring dangerous objects.
It took some time and effort, but Regina finally found the elusive dark relic she had needed. The black and white object had lazily rolled toward the front of the drawer she had opened, crinkling the papers it was on. Carefully reaching for it, the brunette considered other things on the list she needed for this particular spell to work, and as she finally clasped her fingers around the candle she nodded lightly to herself, concluding that everything else – she had at home. Locking up and returning the key to its place, she walked briskly to her car, the plan for the day already forming in her mind. As soon as she sat into the driver's seat she found her blonde friend's contact number in her phone and called.
"Hello, Jim," she spoke when the familiar male voice greeted her. After listening to the man's explanation for answering the lawyer's phone, she continued, somewhat reluctantly as she learned that Kathryn was taking a nap. "I found something and I need the boys away from the house, but if you are not up to it, I can make other arrangements."
"Nonsense, Madam Mayor," the former knight spoke firmly. "Even if Kath can't, I surely can watch over them. I have a new Diablo game, so that would keep Henry quite busy for a while, and I can manage the little guy. Anyways, Neal is stopping by for a coffee later…" After leaving that persuasive incentive out there, Jim added after a beat, "I can even set up the guestroom for them to sleep over, if you want?"
"That is," Regina started, quite surprised by the man's offer. Yes, Henry had stayed with Kathryn before, but this was different, with her pregnant and all. "That is perfect, actually. Thank you."
"No big deal," Jim concluded and after telling the Mayor to let him know when she would drop the children off, he let her go with a cheerful goodbye. Placing the phone on the seat beside her, she drove to her house, her eyes glancing toward the purse that held the candle and the vial she had gotten from the vault, along with other things.
As soon as she walked in, she directed herself toward the study, placing the purse onto her desk. But before she delved into the mysteries of communicating with the dead she called Henry to let him know of the afternoon plans for him and Kyle. She could hear his less than enthusiastic grumble but she knew that after all the reprimand he had gotten these past several weeks, he was not defiant enough to go against her wishes – not when it involved very dark magic and her mother. She had explained what she wanted to do in broad terms, knowing that anything less would be too much of a temptation for him to investigate, and any attempts of avoiding the topic or lying would not fool his keen mind, and his invariable sense of truth that she strongly suspected he had inherited from his blonde mother in form of the famous, or rather infamous lie detector. After making arrangements with Snow, she opened the volume she had taken out of the vault and started following the instructions to prepare for the séance she was to hold that evening, deciding to set up in the kitchen as she needed to brew the needed potion.
Following the instructions carefully, Regina moved around her kitchen with precise and elegant movements, the economy of her motions only speaking of her focus for the task. She had no time to ruminate about the fact that she was about to contact her mother, the woman who had been the most influential in her life, the woman she hated, feared and loved at the same time. The special brew she was making was highly dangerous and easy to botch, so she needed the whole attention directed to its making, pushing all the thoughts and worries about the impending endeavor out of her mind. After the proper time spent on each stage of preparation, Regina left the potion to simmer and decided to get everything else ready. Placing a small round table in her study, she fiddled with the candle and ornate small goblets for the tea, arranging them in a form of a pentagram with the ruby encrusted black and white relic at the center of it.
Pleased with her preparation, she sat at her working desk and pulled the book she had been reading out the instructions from and turned several pages, exploring the spells and enchantments that the volume held. After coming across a very gruesome curse, she pushed the book away from her in disgust. As she moved to rise, her eyes fell on a small wooden keepsake box, gilded in silver, she had been keeping on a shelf behind her desk within reach. Narrowing her eyes slightly, she remembered something as she opened the lid and took out a well-worn piece of parchment, the one that held the words she had learned by heart for she had read it over and over again in times when she needed comfort or a way to establish her self-worth. In the past, that letter she had found in her mother's things right after the captain had brought the Queen of Hearts to her castle had often offered her solace, but now as she held it in her hand, afraid to unfold it, she felt nothing but tremulous expectation of another blow to her already tortured heart. Clenching her jaw, she opened it and let her eyes dart over the very familiar lines.
Cora, dear,
I finally got my hands on your firstborn. Never thought I'd find you, did you? Now I know why. She is the most powerful sorceress I've ever encountered, even more powerful than you. Stunning in every way. Despite all the lies and manipulation you have used to prevent the very fact, I have my hands on your child. You should know better than cross the Dark One, dearie.
R
The words that had kept her going had never been about her. The compliments that Regina had taken for pride of her former mentor for her had never been meant for her. Regina closed her eyes, willing the billowing wetness away as she did not want to spend a second more crying over the hurts of past, even though it tore at her, the knowledge that everything she thought about her connection with Rumplestiltskin, everything that had been said about her being the most powerful sorceress in the Enchanted Forest – was a lie. Every last tenet of hope Regina held that Zelena's blood relation was a hoax was utterly obliterated.
So lost in the feelings of loss as she stared at the parchment, Regina did not hear the front door opening and the sound of boots over the hardwood floors. Only when a sharp rap on the frame of the door leading into the study pierced the silence did the brunette realize that she was no longer alone in the mansion, her eyes flying up to the black leather encased intruder. Too busy to cover the flinch the startling sound had caused, she did not speak, but her raising eyebrow asked the question for her.
"Snow White informed me of the plans," the pirate spoke, his blue eyes taking in the shaken composure on the Evil Queen. "Something the matter?" he asked after several seconds of scrutiny, stepping farther into the study. He did feel somewhat miffed that no one thought to inform him of the new developments but Neal had been kind enough to drop by that morning by the ship and tell him of the news. He did understand that everyone had more important business to think about than running to the docks and keeping the pirate up to date, but still it did not lessen the injury to his pride. "Something to do with the Witch?" he added with traces of snide sarcasm.
"Something," Regina replied after a moment spent in staring at the pirate with incredulous eyes as she could not escape the irony of the moment and the one hand man's words. "More like everything."
"And, Swan?" Killian asked, sitting himself down at the couch by the door, his arms spread wide over the back of it. "How is she?" He didn't ask about Zelena, knowing better than to continue picking at the obviously quite sore subject for Regina, and at the moment he was alone in the house with her. She might not be the Evil Queen anymore, but he still vividly remembered the night at the bean field, and honestly, the woman scared him, now more than when she was the all-powerful Evil Queen.
"She is Emma," the brunette replied, her eyes going toward the two notebooks that had never left her side since she had acquired them the day before. There were no words to describe the blonde's state of mind or heart, but for those how could glimpse some of her old self in the time she had been in Storybrooke and Enchanted Forest, that answer was more than telling. "Born and bred survivor."
"Aye," the captain murmured softly, and for a second Regina could have sworn that she could see his blue eyes glimmer with sadness before returning to their previous sharp and roguish scrutiny. But before she could comment on it, the front door were opened and three people entered, their steps loud, while the woman of the arriving company called out the house mistress's name.
"In here," Regina replied and only seconds later she was joined by the Charmings and her half-brother. Telling them to sit around the table in the already prepared chairs, she walked off to the kitchen to bring the potion she had left on the stove. But, as she reached for the tea pot she prepared it in, she felt the air leave her in a sudden gasp, the realization - the reality of what she was about to do hitting her too strongly after the day, well actually two days, she had had. She was about to communicate with her mother, the woman who had been the source of the greatest pains in her life, the woman who had lied to her constantly, the woman who at the end had chosen the power over her, the woman whose pain filling words she could hear in her sleep, repeating over and over again, casting doubt over something that she knew in her heart and soul that was true. Love is weakness. But, despite the fact that she would rather not do this, Regina knew that it was the only way to even try and understand what Zelena wanted. There was a very real possibility that this was a waste of time and that Cora's truth of her older daughter would serve nothing, but she had to try – for Emma. For herself. It was something Rumplestiltskin had thought her when she had been starting practicing magic. To understand something, to gain insight in their function, you always go to the beginning and learn what shaped them.
As she tried to convince herself to breathe normally, she could vaguely hear Mary Margaret's and David's voices playfully bickering about the names, even though the pixie haired woman was not even showing yet. Her fingers were clutching the counter so hard that they had gone white while she was using the centering techniques Dr. Hopper had thought her, hoping to pull herself together quickly. However, all her progress had been lost when a strong hand landed gently on her shoulder, pulling her gently into a man's side, guiding her tenderly to lean against his chest.
"It's okay," she heard Neal whisper into her ear. "Just breathe." Only then she realized that she was shaking, his hold easing her trembling despite the fact that she was quite unused to a man holding her so gently. Then, it was like she realized who it was to comfort her and she stepped out of his embrace, placing her fingers under her eyes, careful not to smudge her make up.
"I am fine," she said quickly at his look.
"Sure," he spoke, disbelief evident in his eyes. "And, you know what I think about that word." At her scoff, he leaned against the counter and crossed his arms. "You know, it's okay to be shaken by all the stuff that has been happening. It's only natural to feel out of balance."
"Natural? And, you base that on what? Your experience of abandonment and bad news?" As insults and scathing remarks went, this one was quite shy of the mark, but by narrowing of Neal's eyes she could see that he had taken it in the way that she wanted – as an accusation on Emma's behalf rather than his own experience due to being the son of Rumplestiltskin. But, as he kept quiet, stunned that she went there as he had tried to help, she calmed down, knowing that lashing out, especially at her brother, would not help her at all. "Just go in there and take a seat. I'll be right out," she said softly, having pressed a hand over her eyes for a second, allowing a trace of contrition to seep into her voice as she glanced at him with apology. He only nodded and walked out, his shoulders slumped, the hurt still evident in his posture.
Sighing at herself, Regina picked up the platter she had prepared for the tea pot and with a calming breath she directed herself toward the others, hoping this would work. Entering the study she apologized to her guests for waiting and started pouring the potion, her sudden reprimand directed at Charming startling them all, as she explained the deadliness of the tea.
"I prefer Earl Grey," the man replied placing the cup down, grimacing at the liquid he almost had ingested.
Nodding at his disgust, Regina pursed her lips for a second before she continued. "It's a deadly poison for summoning the dark vortex."
"Wait," Neal asked looking up at his sister. "The dark what?"
The brunette glanced toward the man seated right beside her, noticing the confused dark eyes peering up at her. "The dark vortex," she repeated patiently. "The passageway to the realm of passed souls." Even though she was telling everyone, she was looking only at Neal for the moment, quite aware that he was still feeling the hurt of her previous burst at him, and her simplified explanation was her way of making up to him. "Reading Emma's diary, I realized that, despite all the information Emma was able to procure, I still don't know much about her goals or desires, and Rumple taught me to go back to make sense of the present. But, I don't know enough about of her past, so I've decided to summon someone who does." This time she looked away from her kin and looked straight into the green eyes that to her symbolized family, and softening her voice she spoke, knowing it would come as a shock to the woman seated in front of her. "We need to talk to my mother." And, as she assumed, her statement was followed by a startled gasp from the future mother, and David leaning forward, his arm going around his wife in protective and comforting manner. Giving them a moment, Regina reached for the match box on the table, deciding against use of her own magic fearing interference to the summoning. Opening the box, she saw David place his hand over Snow's on the table and internally rolled her eyes as she could almost hear his bolstering and yet soothing thoughts directed at his wife. "It's a fairly simple ritual but not often performed," the brunette spoke again, sitting down.
"If it's easy to talk to the dead, why not do it more?" David asked softly, mindful of the somber atmosphere falling over them.
"Well," the Mayor began, her eyes once more finding her former nemesis, "because to do it, you need the murder weapon…" In the short pause she made Regina saw Mary Margaret's eyes widen, somehow already guessing the next part. "And, the murderer," she added as she lit the match and brought it over to the wicks of the candle, a slight grimace pulling at her eyes as the magical wicks flickered ablaze, the sharp stench of the magic that had taken what she had assumed was the last living blood relative of hers, and her parent.
"What are we supposed to do?" Neal whispered gently by her side as she reached for his and David's hands, her implied instruction for the rest of the group clear.
"Focus on Cora," she supplied softly.
"Welcoming thoughts?" the pirate interjected with his trademark sarcasm, but she nodded.
"Whatever you got," Regina said. "Any memory of her you have should do." As they clasped each other's hands, and focused on the person they were trying to summon, the brunette could not avoid thinking about Emma wistfully – as the only person to survive the heart removal attempt from the Queen of Hearts, the blonde's memories would be rather strong for the rousing the spirits. Her and Rumple. But, these people in her study were the only one that had personal dealings with the sorceress and willing to participate. The kind giant had refused, telling her, with inordinate amount of apology and respect in his tone, that he had been in contact only with the captain during his captivity on the ship, and she could not think of anyone else…
"How do you know…?" the prince started before he was interrupted with Regina shushing him like an impertinent child, her hand squeezing his in warning.
For several long moments, there was the silence, casually intersected with the cracking of the fire at the hearth behind them and the flicker of the wicks, but then, suddenly the fire went out and the silence became oppressive and filled with unearthly tension, making the air thicken, lessening their ability to breathe properly. However, before anyone could comment on it a strange light started appearing above them, followed by a soft whoosh of a faraway whirlpool ending in impenetrable darkness at the center.
It was more than a sound of swirling substance, more than a dancing and flickering light glowing above them. It was energy, both pressing and effervescently light. They all could feel something, like a memory of a touch, reaching out of it, searching, before it disappeared – making the already eerie happening get much scarier for the occupants of the room.
"We did it," Snow whispered, her voice shaking from both the terror and excitement over the success of their feat. Despite her fear of being in the room with the person she had been afraid of since her childhood, she did understand the need to talk to the sorceress.
"Cora!" Regina called out, her eyes searching the swirling dark hole above her, waiting. "Mother, can you hear us?" she asked loudly, trying to be heard over the loud whoosh of the vortex. No one else dared to speak, afraid that they would somehow break the spell. "Cora, give us a sign," she tried again, as she focused her memories at the light, hoping it would guide the spirit to them. "Do not ignore me now, mother," the brunette spoke firmly, losing hope. "Please," she beseeched, her eyes glazing with tears as she looked on into the empty vortex, "You owe me this."
Suddenly, the table shook and the movement made the already jumpy pregnant woman break the hand hold, gasping in fear as she pushed away from it. The very moment she did break the contact the vortex disappeared into nothing, leaving behind only the ceiling, looking as if nothing out of ordinary had happened there just seconds before.
Not listening to the pirate's clumsy explanation for bumping the table, Regina sighed heavily, her eyes still pinned to the spot where the portal had been. Then, she allowed her shoulders to slump in defeat as she leaned over to the still burning wicks on the candle with another severe sigh she blew one of them out and paused before turning to the other one. Slightly shaking her head at her moment of desire to try again, to somehow bargain with the ghost of her mother, she extinguished the last remaining flame.
"Do we try it again?" came Snow's tremulous question, but Regina answered it another shake of her head before speaking.
"No," she said softly. "There is no point," the soft voice broke at the end, but ignoring the slight teary edge to her own tone, Regina pushed forward with her explanation. "It worked. The portal opened, but…"
Mary Margaret watched the woman worry her hands on the flat surface, frowning at the dejected and hurt look that passed over the dark eyes, her heart hurting for the woman in front of her.
"Nothing came out of it," Regina continued, not really looking at others, her eyes going between her hands and the ceiling. "She doesn't want to talk to me. Guess whatever secrets lie in her past, she wants to keep buried there." Not comfortable with having so many people witness her pain, she rose from the table, swiftly evading David's hand reaching to her in comfort and stepped back, her hands grasping the back of her chair, her movement sending a message others could read quite well.
David was the first one to leave with Neal following him in step. "Call us if you need help with anything, even if it is only a boring researching part," the acting Sheriff offered as he put on his jacket, his deputy copying his movement.
"I'll be sure to remember that," Regina said with slight sharpness in her tone, but her eyes crinkled with thanks as she looked at him and her brother. Then she nodded to the captain who motioned vaguely that he was there too if she needed him before the men left, leaving Snow and Regina alone, Charming and his wife having wordlessly communicated their intentions to each other.
"I'll help you clean up," the pixie haired brunette offered helpfully, her eagerness making Regina smirk as she gestured toward the study.
"You can help with the tea cups."
"So, what happened between the two of you?" David asked his deputy, when they entered the squad car Neal had with him. Not minding the leather clad captain in the back, Neal looked at the prince and shrugged his shoulders before starting the car and driving off toward Granny's.
"I don't know. She was rattled about tonight, and I guess I wasn't much of a help." After his words the people in the car fell silent, waiting till they got into the diner to start another conversation. Soon they entered the semi crowded establishment, and flagging one of the waitresses down, they shuffled in one of the booths.
"Hey, Ashley," David said with a sincere smile looking up at the young blonde coming up to them with menus. "How are Sean and Alex?" he asked as she placed her hand on his shoulder in greeting.
"They are fine, Sean is trying to teach her to cheer at the games on TV," the former princess said with a radiant smile on her face, before she toned it slightly down and gestured to their menus. "So, what will I bring you tonight?"
The men stated their preferences, and after Hook asked for his regular nightly rum, the young woman walked away toward the kitchen to place their order. Uncomfortable with the silence that engulfed them, David turned to his deputy and remembered a comment Neal had made as they had gone in to Regina's house. "How were the kids at Kath's place?"
"They were great. By the time I left, Henry was chasing Kyle around the place, making him giggle all the way. Did you know that the kid could talk?" Neal spoke with pride as his dark eyes lit up happily as he remembered his afternoon with his son and nephew, accompanied by the former knight. Seeing David's wondering face, he elaborated. "I know that he can name several things and babble the whole day long, but as Henry was playing with him, and tickling him, he said 'Henry, stop' quite clearly." Then he chuckled. "I was surprised to see him on his feet, too. He is still unsteady and unsure, but Kathryn told me that he had been standing up more and more."
But, before the men could comment on it, Ashley was back with a pitcher of water and rum for Killian, telling them that their order would be coming shortly. "Hey, Granny told me to let you know that the guest has met with Eric and that all seemed to be all right, for now," the young blonde spoke gently as she lowered the plates onto the table.
"Thanks, Ash. Any trouble, let me know." He spoke with a smile, glad that at least Ariel was reconnecting with her prince.
"So, Little Mermaid is all set," the leather clad seaman spoke, nursing his drink, familiar with the fairy tale inspired by the mermaid, his covert talks with Henry having more substance than just bean management.
"It would seem so," David replied after swallowing the piece of chicken he had in his mouth. Turning to the other man, he waved with his fork. "Did you manage to talk to Jim about the office? We'll need to have everything ready before we leave."
"Yeah," the deputy mumbled. "I left him the charter and the handbook to look through, before we start with our rounds." Grabbing his glass of water, he added, "He also mentioned that one of your knights was interested in being his deputy, Roderick, I think his name was?"
"Roderick, yes. Well, I'll stop by his place tomorrow and see if he is still up to it…"
"Well, you should also remember to get some weaponry for the journey," Killian added, his plate already empty as he had gobbled down his food while the others talked. "The giant estimates we have a week, two at the most, before the things are ready."
"All right," the Sheriff agreed, his mind already thinking of some training he could put in as well, eyeing up his colleague, knowing that the man had no real experience in the Enchanted Forest warfare, due to his exile since he was a child. "If you need some work done on the ship, contact Marco and the dwarves, I'll let them know in advance." The captain only nodded in agreement.
After their dinner, the men dropped Killian off by the docks and made a pass over the quiet streets of Storybrooke. The small town seemed deserted due to cold weather announcing harsh winter, and people had stayed inside their warm homes, safe and sound. As the patrol car moved slowly, Neal and David looked around, trying to see anything out of ordinary. After several minutes of uninterrupted quiet, the former Lost Boy glanced toward his boss before he returned his gaze to the road.
He had been trying so hard not to impose his worries and fears onto others, waiting for Regina to speak of Emma and the war that had gripped the Enchanted Forest, but out of them he was the only one there who remembered what it had been like when the Kingdoms had been under the constant threat of Ogres, the soldiers dying in droves and no one powerful enough to stop it. He was the one that remembered the burning villages, the hushed whispers of another battalion lost to the giant dwellers of the Western plains. Yes, Snow and Charming, even Killian, they knew war as well, however, the royal couple's feud with the Evil Queen and whatever wars the pirate had been to, simply did not measure up to the devastation he had witnessed, first by the Ogres, then by his own father. Hearing that Emma was now facing not only the army from King Midas, but the entire Empire force, it made him feel terror for the woman he had once loved, fearing for her very life, let alone the people in her company. Regina had only mentioned shape shifters and some allies, but never told if the numbers were enough to help the Savior. And if the only help she had were the villagers, the true Sheriff of Storybrooke was woefully outnumbered.
"Are you going to speak of what is on your mind," a soft grumbling voice interrupted his ruminations, drawing his attention to David, who was still looking outside, "or are you going to keep sighing so heavily?"
"Aren't you worried? How can you not be out of your mind right now?" Neal started after a minute of tense, expectant silence he had spent staring at the man beside him in disbelief. "She is…" he tried to continue but the Sheriff caught his eyes, the steely look in the clear blue ones sharply ending whatever rant he had been building up to.
"You think I don't know?" David whispered harshly as he glared at the deputy, his face drawing near to the offender, the tightly wound emotions evident in his eyes, anger and fear giving him a slightly maddening visage. "She is my daughter. My child, one I swore I would never abandon again!" As his voice rose with anger, he brought himself closer to the dark haired man. "And, yet again, she is there to fix our problems! Alone!" David leaned back and sighed heavily, his hands passing over his face, trying to rub away the soul wearing tiredness he was feeling, his eyes losing the edge of anger as he glanced toward Neal. "But, until the beans are ready, or Regina finds another way to cross over, there is nothing I can do to help her – so I am going to prepare, to get ready, to be able to be the best of myself in the moment when I am actually able to contribute and be of use to Emma. Losing mind over what could happen until then won't benefit anyone but the Wicked Witch and Midas, and I, for one, do not intend to give them any more advantages than they already have."
Neal only nodded, still feeling the effects of surprise when the passenger turned to him with violence in his features. Never before had he seen David so riled up, so dangerous, and it shocked him as he always saw the prince as a kind and patient man with soothing manner. But, these were extenuating circumstances, no doubt, so he forced himself to relax, turning his eyes to the road, noticing that he had stopped in the middle of the street when David had spoken.
"What are you going to do?" the former Lost Boy asked as he started driving again.
"Sharpen my sword, get some exercise… Get used to horses again, maybe start training Henry." They both knew that the last part depended entirely on his brunette mother, but they had no doubt that Regina would choose the best option for her elder boy, knowing his penchant for trouble. Then David smirked with invitation, "You can come, as well. Learn some things…"
David was joking, Neal knew, but he couldn't but consider the offer. Even though he was from the Enchanted Forest, he had never learned to be proficient with the weaponry of the land. During his time in Neverland, he had been taught some basic skills with bow and spear, but nothing really useful.
The pixie haired woman watched the other one move around the kitchen with economical movements that come from practice and time, the barely heard clink of dishes and light touch on the cupboard doors spoke of the soft manner Regina was used to doing things, knowing that any loud noises could awaken her children. It was something Snow hadn't yet mastered, as there was no need to keep things quiet in the loft, as David was rarely asleep when she was awake, and they had no child to mind. Even when Henry had been staying with them, the noise of the breakfast making had been useful to get the deep sleeper out of bed. However, here, in Regina's kitchen, Mary Margaret could barely hear anything over the soothing swoosh of the water.
Her mind turned toward the apparently failed ritual they had tried that evening. She didn't know whether she was disappointed or relieved, and it made her consider that perhaps the summons failed because of her, of her reluctance to see the vile woman again, to be confronted with the woman she had had killed in cold blood, using the hopeful desperation of the woman's daughter against her.
When the sound of water ended, followed by a light squeak of the tap, Snow looked at Regina's back, needing to speak.
"I want to apologize, Regina," she started, noticing the slight tensing of the woman's shoulders while the owner of the house was still turned away from her, leaning on the sink. "For Cora, for…"
"Murdering her?" Regina helpfully supplied after several seconds passed with Snow struggling to find the right words, the accusation clear in her tone.
"Right," Snow winced. "Yeah." Suddenly unable to look at the brunette, the younger woman glanced down at her hands, nervously playing with her fingers. "I don't take it lightly. I… I think about it every day."
"So do I." Well, not really, but she had spent quite a lot of time ruminating on the facts surrounding her mother's death and Snow's role in it, she thought to herself as she leaned forward onto the marble surrounding her kitchen sink. Then she turned to her guest, slowly, as if she was fighting with herself, not wanting to show her face, and her emotions with it, just yet. "And when I do think about it I remember… That she did kill your mother." She hated the fact that her voice betrayed her emotions, a certain degree of clog-like quality detectable as she spoke, but she cleared her throat and pushed on. "So, I'll admit that's complicated," she added, crossing her arms, not adjusting her posture even after she noticed Snow glancing down at her apparent show of discomfort with the subject.
"Thank you," the pixie haired woman murmured softly. "I'm sure you had some things you wanted to say to her."
Regina barely prevented herself from scoffing at the understatement Snow had voiced. "Yes, well," she started almost absently, before she somewhat relaxed her posture, her arms still wrapped around her. "I am realizing that my mother walled off a lot of her life from me," she spoke with conviction and not a small tinge of disappointment, only nodding slightly at Snow when the younger woman hummed in agreement. "She wasn't the warmest mother, but…" The pixie haired woman could hear the vestiges of pain seep into the words her once nemesis was uttering, her heart going to the woman who had become such an intricate part of her family. "At least I thought I occupied a singular spot in her heart." The mother to be frowned at the slight catch in Regina's voice at the end, not knowing how to soothe the injury, her mothering and caring nature pushing her to go to the older woman and do something, but experience and familiarity with the woman's walls stopped her from rushing to hug the Mayor. Instead, she sat there and listened, waiting to hear more – offering compassion in silence.
Regina sighed deeply and let out a single chuckle filled with so much hurt and disbelief before she untwisted her arms and leaned forward. "A sister. Zelena." Then she frowned as she placed her elbows on the counter, leaning toward her companion. "Why would she give her up? Why would she make us strangers to one another?" As the diary clearly had pointed out, Rumplestiltskin had found out that the Wicked Witch had been abandoned and brought to Oz mere hours after birth. The mother in Regina had recoiled from the fact that her own mother had abandoned her child, mercilessly leaving her behind for all the dangers of the world to find her. She wondered if there had been some more dangerous and precarious circumstances to Zelena's birth rather than the shame of child born out of wedlock.
Then, a rumble sounded over their heads, immediately drawing their attention to the strange noise in the house. "What was that?" Snow spoke, startled before she could comment on Regina's questions. Rising of her seat, she watched the woman focus somewhere in the distance, listening to the sounds, trying to place them.
"I have no idea," the older woman replied after a moment, straightening out as she directed herself toward the noise. Aware that her guest was following closely behind, Regina went to the stairs, slowly going toward the signs of disturbance, her magic rising up and standing at the ready. The younger woman behind her did not speak but she did her best to keep quiet, her footsteps almost unheard on the hard wood floors.
Passing all the rooms on the second floor, Regina frowned as the noise was coming from the back of the mansion, part of the house that had been hardly used and mostly empty. "It's there," she murmured, gesturing toward the small corner room. "There isn't anything in this room. It's…" she started to say but she was interrupted as the door she was reaching for were torn out of the frame quite violently, shocking both women, the older one reacting on instinct – placing a protective hand over Snow's middle, holding her slightly back, before they noticed a figure in the space, sitting in front of the spinning wheel, shrouded in magic similar to the vortex Regina had tried to summon only hours before. The specter was a person, covered in a cloak, the color of it indiscernible due to magic and transparency of the ghost, but as soon as the person turned to look over the shoulder, they saw a young woman with hard and intense expression on her face, her lips pursed in determination. Regina leaned in, recognizing not only the face but the very expression. "Mother?"
The pixie haired woman gasped at Regina's utterance, her eyes flying away from the glowing shade and turning to the older woman in surprise. However, before she could comment on it, Regina pushed her one step back, keeping her behind herself. "This can't be," the sorceress said with disbelief as she tried to soak in the features of the woman that once had been her parent, seeing the young face for the first time apart from old canvases and paintings at her grandfather's royal palace and her father's home. "The spell opened a limited portal for talking!" It definitely wasn't supposed to bring the specter of her mother into the plane of living. Nevertheless, the former Evil Queen was staring at the shade rising from its seat and gliding toward them, the actions of the spirit reeking of hostility.
"It's me," Snow stated, her voice barely heard over the rising wind that the magic of the incorporeal manifestation was creating. "I killed Cora." The princess watched the progress of the specter with trepidation as she tried to explain the situation. "She sensed my presence and found a way to bleed through into our world."
"Watch out," Regina warned the second the spirit sped up toward them, jumping into its path, blocking its way to the younger woman. "Back down, mother," she ordered as she glared at the shade. "You will answer my questions." As the spirit seemed to hesitate, the sorceress pushed forward. "Now tell me… What did you do to Zelena?" Instead of getting an answer, Regina was pushed away quite strongly, her body flung to the side, as the shade continued on its path toward Snow. Just as it was about to place its hands onto the retreating woman, the Mayor brought herself upright and teleported her guest and herself out of the proverbial corner, appearing in the study where it all had begun. However, their respite didn't last for long as the shade burst in only seconds after them. Luckily, this time Regina was ready and she attacked the intruder with her magic, pushing it away.
"You're holding her off," the expectant mother said in relief as she watched the spirit struggle against the magic pressing against it.
"But, I can't hold her forever," Regina replied as she felt the slight drain on her power. As the matter of fact, she wouldn't be able to hold her off for much longer if the current expenditure of magic continues. It was due to using raw power instead the finesse she had usually implemented in her work with her power. She was using the magic as one would use water to keep the mass or people at bay, hoping that the brutish pressure would push them back and such outpour was costing her dearly, however, she saw no other way of fighting against the specter. It was also a stark reminder that she was in dire need of practicing the craft she once had thought that she had mastered – but, Emma disproved it, quite easily at that, judging by her notes, and that had been before Regina had read of the Guardian. Firmly deciding to try some of the things her beloved had described in the journals, the Mayor ground her teeth and poured more of her power into the steady torrent of magic bashing against the spirit.
After several minutes it became evident that the specter was stronger than Regina, its pushes against the Mayor's magic creating flashes. "I don't know how much longer I can hold her off," the sorceress shouted to the woman standing behind her, sensing her every flinch. If there was a way to split her magic and leave enough for her to keep the spirit of her mother at bay and send Snow away at the same time, she would have done so, but with every second spent fighting against the specter she was closer to magical exhaustion.
"Cora, I'm sorry," Snow tried to plead with the shade, as she entreated it. "Please, forgive me!"
"Save your breath," Regina said with contempt as she glared at the shade, using the last vestiges of the magical torrent she had at her disposal. "Your mother was nothing like my mother. She only understands power and weakness. But if she wants to kill you, she's gonna have to go through me!" The last words were meant more for the shade than her companion, and she could feel Snow's surprised look at the back of her head. "This isn't about you. This is about her… And me!" At the last word, Regina gave up, not willing to continue the futile exercise of draining herself against the obviously stronger magic. She looked at the satisfied smirk on her mother's face and felt anger rise up in her. "It's time for answers, mother. What did you do to Zelena?"
However, the same as the last time, the specter struck and slammed the sorceress out of the way, into the desk, causing her to pass out, as it attacked the other woman, flying into her, ignoring Snow's helpless shout, and making her fall down, luckily into a conveniently posed chair behind her, unlike the older woman who had crashed to the floor.
The very second the spirit entered her, Snow was paralyzed in pain and terror, feeling the intruder's magic coursing through her body, but then the flashes started. The events, people she didn't know but she remembered somehow. After several seconds, as her fear and shock gave some leeway to curiosity, Snow realized that the flashes were memories. Memories of the woman who had given birth to her former nemesis. They weren't the inconsequential pictures in Cora's past, but ordered and explanatory, telling a story of a life of a young miller's daughter, encumbered with feelings and thought processes of the young woman. They portrayed the poverty Cora had grown up in quite vividly, the images of a drunkard of a father spending all their earnings on the next batch of ale and other forms of home brewed spirits while the young woman had been forced to work just to pay the debts her father had accrued. The memories told a story of a girl dreaming for a better life than the squalor of the peasantry, and of a young woman willing to do anything to get away from it, whether by working at the town inn and bar, being pawed at by the drunkards so alike to her father, or by trying to ensnare a young dashing fellow presenting as a royal. The story went on, telling of disappointments and treachery of the rascal who had played the girl. Meeting with the crown prince, getting engaged, and being betrayed again, this time by a foreign princess who could not deign to look at a peasant, let alone let them take her rightful place at the throne of the White kingdom. The memories showed of a hard life and the scorn of the villagers as Cora had fallen out of grace, leading her to abandon the child, hoping it would have a better life, feeling her heart breaking at the parting. They showed the fateful delivery of flour and the malicious behavior of the Princess Eva at King Xavier's court. Cora's entanglement with the Dark One was explained, as well as the fact when Cora had taken out her heart. The last memory Snow was subjected to was the proud presentation of the newly born girl to the court at the naming ceremony.
Regina awoke to the woman seated in the chair, trembling in trance, her skin shining in the colors of the shade as she seemed gripped in a painful possession. Quickly rising to her feet, the Mayor rushed toward the younger woman. "Mary Margaret!" she tried to rouse her, but it appeared that the specter had too firm grip on the young mother. "Hold on! I won't let you go!" Regina shouted at the motionless body, digging deep into her magical reserves and with determination so characteristic of her alter ego, she grasped onto the magical presence and pulled it out of her guest, successfully exorcizing her mother out of Snow. With great effort, she managed to push the spirit up, and as if the portal that had been opened a while before had recognized the escaped shade, it opened and with Regina's help, it sucked in the apparition, taking it away before it blinked out of existence.
Regina sighed in relief as she staggered backwards, the sudden stop of the energy pressing against her magic making her lose her balance for a moment. However, she had no time to waste, as she turned toward the woman no longer in the grips of whatever the spirit had made her endure, but with her eyes closed, Mary Margaret seemed to be unconscious. Kneeling beside the chair, she placed her hand onto the limp arm, feeling for the pulse.
"Mary Margaret," Regina called gently, her other palm reaching for the clammy cheek. "Can you hear me?"
"Cora…" Snow murmured, still seeming out of it. "Not what we thought, trying to communicate…"
Surprised by the words coming out of the pixie haired woman, Regina gasped, before she pressed on. "What did she say?" However, after several mentions of Cora, Leopold and Eva, Snow lost coherence. Worried, the Mayor used a small trickle of magic to revive the woman, not having any more to spare. In her mind, she decided to give a call to Victor and urge him to make a house call immediately. Finally, the eyes she was so familiar with met her own and quickly filled with tears as the younger woman regarded the regal woman crouched in front of her.
"Regina," Snow whispered, not able to say anything more, hating the fact that she needed to share the story to the woman who would be very hurt by it, feeling the revulsion at the revelations coming from Cora's past herself. "I…" she tried, but after several false starts she gave up, as tears glided down her face twisted in sorrow and . She gripped the hand still resting over hers and tried to impart at least some of the message through her eyes but failing.
"What did you see?" Regina asked softly as she held the still cold hand in hers, but the anguish in the green eyes told her it was something bad, something that was so terrible that Snow could not even force herself to speak about. "Alright, then," she said soothingly, as she pushed another trickle of magic into the younger woman, trying to use one of memory magics Rumple had taught her, only using Emma's version of it. "Relax, and think about what you need to show me and I will see it," she guided the woman as she focused, gently entering the mind of the seated guest.
In short time she was shown everything that Cora had imparted on Snow, and inordinate pieces of information seeped into her mind as she finally understood her own mother. With a shuddering intake of breath, she left Mary Margaret's mind and crashed onto the floor, too shocked with the disclosures of the spirit that once had been her parent. "She…"
Helplessly, the younger woman watched as her daughter's lover was faced with truths that destroyed every construct that Regina had grown up with, all the beliefs nullified with a single but powerful blow.
"It was all a lie," the brunette murmured with anguish. "She never loved me. It was all about power."
Even the last words she had heard from the woman in her final seconds, the words that she had cherished and dreamed of hearing long before that last moment, were not meant for her, but for a child that the miller's daughter had been forced to get rid of. The eyes filled with love and happiness had not been directed at her but at the other child of the Queen of Hearts. She had been nothing but a pawn in the game her mother played, a thing to be easily sacrificed in the war against the Whites and easily deposed of in her quest for power.
"Regina?"
Rising of the floor, the Mayor pushed down all her rampant emotions, hiding them beneath the cold and impervious mask, as she flexed her shoulders and brushed off her clothes. With decisive strides she walked out of the study, leaving Mary Margaret behind to sit, yet not able to rise out of it, weakened by the spirit's intrusion. Grabbing her cell, she quickly dialed the number of the resident doctor, explaining the situation succinctly, before she called the sheriff, telling him only to come to the mansion, leaving it for Snow to explain what had happened to her husband.
In no time, both men appeared at the 108 Mifflin Street, and leaving them with her guest, Regina retreated to her kitchen, letting the men transfer the woman to a guest room she had graciously offered for the exam. Alone, away from the people in the house, she was struggling to maintain her façade and only with the help of the diaries she was keeping within reach, she found a way to keep the emotional fall out of the evening at bay, as the words of her True Love reminded her that she was indeed loved and treasured, regardless of the motivations of her parents. She belonged with someone, she had hope and her happy ending despite of her mother's plans and machinations. Reading the familiar script she imagined Emma's reaction to the news. She had no problem imagining the compassionate green eyes and the soothing whisper welcoming her into a warm and heart-melding embrace, as the gentle kisses would land on her brow and forehead. It was like magic, the way her sorrow and anger, disappointment and resentment, retreated, letting her breathe easier and her muscles relax.
Then, she felt tremendous relief as her heart was not under constant barrage of the tide of dark feelings that had grown lighter with the remembrance of Emma, as she managed to push them aside, to be dealt with later. Now, she had more important things to consider. Even though she did not find out much more about Zelena, she did learn that Cora had never wanted to give her up but had been forced to do so – by Eva and her secret telling. And, with some speculation, Regina could surmise that whatever Zelena was up to, it had something to do with Cora and that very moment of being abandoned. But, what it was, she could not even begin to guess as she didn't have enough information. Regina knew from Emma's journals that Zelena had been jealous of her, wanting to take her place in Rumplestiltskin's eyes. Maybe, this whole war was a way of surpassing the deeds of the Evil Queen, with the Wicked Witch taking the throne of the most feared sorceress in the Enchanted Forest. But, she didn't know… And, by the looks of it, neither did Emma. So, the only thing to do was to go to the Enchanted Forest and hope that they learn more before the Witch's plan was realized.
She heard the door close on the doctor's way out, the slam of it reverberating through the house, startling her out of her ruminations. Shifting her shoulders to ease the tension in them, she returned to the study, determined to clean the mess left behind by the ghost. A shattered lamp in the corner and scattered books on the other end of the room seemed to be the only causalities of the spirit, well, apart from her aching body that had been flung to the floor, twice.
As she crouched down to pick the large shards of glass she heard someone walking into the room, behind her. "Need a hand?" Mary Margaret asked as she met Regina's eyes.
"Shouldn't you be on bed rest?" the Mayor replied as she scrutinized the younger woman, looking for any symptom of negative side effects of the possession. Pleased to see that there were none, Regina waited for Snow to speak.
"Doctor Whale just left," the young woman spoke, her face showing a small grimace of distaste that seemed to follow every mention of the town's chief medical authority. "He cleared me. Apparently, the human body has a surprising tolerance for ghost possession. And he told me that motherhood suited me, which somehow came out creepy." Snow rushed through the explanation as she grabbed a broom Regina had brought into the room. "May I?"
The older woman was too emotionally drained to chuckle at the other woman's flustered speech, so she only nodded and shrugged with her shoulder, which apparently was enough for Snow to start sweeping the small shards from the lamp, glancing toward the woman still crouching beside the table. "You want to talk about it?" the expectant mother offered as she continued sweeping.
"What's there to talk about?" Regina replied as she rose to her feet, lifting what was left of the lamp onto the table, in a move Mary Margaret recognized as deflection. "You officially have a less damaging relationship with my mother than I." Regina could not resist adding pointedly as she righted the chair to sit on, "And you killed her."
"At least we know, you and me, our history…" Snow spoke, disregarding Regina's barb, finishing up with the broom. "It's more complicated than we thought," she said softly, walking to the table and taking a seat, as well, all the while she was looking at her once nemesis. Knowing that nothing she could say would change the past, the past that seemed to have marked both of them – their mothers feuding over Leopold and power, and their daughters inheriting that feud, masked as their own wars, Snow smiled sadly at her former adversary. "It seems that we have been destined to be at the opposite ends of the war in our family."
"And, yet, we found a way to overcome it," Regina said with a smile of her own, her meaning clearly addressing the presence of the Savior in their lives.
"For the longest time, I thought our family was the pinnacle of Light, and that you and your mother were the darkness that endangered it. Now, as I know the truth…" A deep sigh escaped the princess, but before she could go on, Regina spoke.
"Life is too messy for it to ever be that simple. It is human to make mistakes, and there are only many different shades of gray." The former Evil Queen reached for Snow's hand in a rare show of explicit compassion, one that years before she wouldn't have even dreamed about. "Your daughter was the one to make me accept that." Then, with softness in her voice, she squeezed the hand in her hold. "I know how much you looked up to Eva. I am sorry you had to learn she had such darkness in her past."
Mary Margaret sighed as she shrugged her shoulders, as her voice turned introspective while she took hold of Regina's comforting hand. "That wasn't the woman I knew. It makes me wonder what happened that changed her." Then, the younger woman focused on her former stepmother, needing to say the words that Regina probably wanted to say as well, in regards to the experience they had shared that evening. "I suppose I'll never know."
The Mayor patted the woman's hand and smirked, her eyes glinting with mysterious light as she leaned toward the woman. "Well, we can never know our past completely, especially when people had gone through such lengths to keep it hidden." Then, however, her voice turned conspiratorial as she looked away toward her desk, her eyes finding a special frame on the desk, with a picture of a six year old boy sitting in it, his smile lighting up his entire face. "Sometimes, it is the children that inspire us to be the best versions of ourselves, wanting to set them an example they could be proud of."
Snow followed her gaze and smiled at the picture of her grandson, understanding Regina's point quite perfectly. Her rumination interrupted by a sudden disappearance of a soothing warmth on her hand, she looked at the older woman and blinked at the change happening right before her eyes. The gentle woman she had grown to know and, dare she say, love, was being overrun by sadness and betrayal caused by the encounter with Regina's mother, the regal politician trying to shore up her defenses to hide her pain, to mask her despair – still unwilling to show weakness to others, even those she now trusted – and, failing. Snow watched in horror as an unchecked tear glided down the pale olive cheek, followed all too quickly by another and another, seeing the woman she considered to be the strongest and the most resilient of all fall apart right in front of her. "Regina," Mary Margaret tried to offer some measure of consolation, but miserably falling short, as the woman in question rose from her seat, hiding her face away from her guest.
"It's late," came the roughened reply to Snow's gentle entreaty. "You should leave."
Knowing in her heart that the woman before her really should not be alone, especially that night when her children were away, but she also knew that Regina would not accept help. Not from her. Not at that time. However, she tried once more to reach the now shaking woman, unable to listen to the shuddering gasps of someone trying to suppress them. "Regina, you don't have to do this alone."
"Leave," the older woman ordered, now her voice tinged with traces of anger as the newly regenerated magic crackled of her fingers. Clenching her hands into fists, Regina only glanced over her shoulder, her anguished eyes meeting Snow's as she pleaded silently with the stubborn young woman. Seeing the conflict of Snow's desires clearly on the fair face, the sorceress spoke one more word, to help younger woman to leave her alone. "Please," she whispered imploringly before she walked away, her magic making her disappear in mid step, as she was enveloped in purple and lilac swirls of color.
With nothing else to do, Mary Margaret softly called out to her husband, and sinking into his arms she guided them outside the mansion, her saddened eyes immediately going toward the upper floor windows, as she tried to find the traces of the woman who had once more become a part of her family. But, her search gained no results as it was only darkness that welcomed her gaze. With a heavy sigh, Snow surrendered helplessly to Regina's wishes, firmly determined to check upon the woman the next morning, even if she would have to break down the door.
"What did you find out?" David asked softly as he drove away from the curb of the Mifflin Street, quite aware that something major had gone down with the spirit possession. It took his wife a moment to answer, but when she finally did, it was in a form of mumbled 'I'll tell you later' as she stared through the window of the truck.
It was all a lie.
The words were repeating in her mind, over and over again, as she struggled to breathe against the flood of feelings, the incredible pain searing through her veins as she had to release her magic, fueled and primed by her sorrow and betrayal.
It was all a lie.
The flashes of memories she had gleaned from her once nemesis were still playing out in front of her eyes, each new repetition tearing a new wound in her barely healed heart, as she screamed in devastation.
It was all a lie.
The air around her crackled, the earth and stone vibrated, and the glass containers lining the walls were clinking with the power of her emotionally powered outpour. She wasn't even aware of the pain in her knees or the burning tingling on her palms, too consumed by the storm inside her.
But, then, a very familiar voice appeared in her mind. A voice that she missed very, very much. A voice that she couldn't believe that she could hear. But, a voice that managed to dispel the tempest of her feels.
Not all of it. Not even close. Even if she did lie to you, and never loved you, there are people who do. Very much. So much that they would walk straight into Hell for you, Regina. Do not forget them when you think of your past, your Majesty.
Even though the Savior was not there, the Mayor could feel her, could feel the love surrounding her and it was the soothing balm that eased the ravages of her torn heart. Even though Emma was not present, she was able to comfort her True Love, an endeavor Regina was truly grateful for and not willing to question. The calming thoughts that embodied her beloved gave enough pause to remember that she was not alone, and definitely not unloved. Despite the hits she had taken that evening, she realized that the past did not really change anything, not in the ways that should matter. She had two children she adored, she had a family. She had her True Love that she couldn't wait to meet again, and she even had the loving in-laws, that accepted her and her relationship with Emma. After all, she was the richest at this point in time, for once having all that she needed to be happy. Of course, the Sheriff was in a different world, currently fighting a war, but it did not mean that she did not appreciate what she had, as opposed to what she once had thought she had had.
Finally able to breathe easier she realized that she had subconsciously chosen a relatively safe place for her magical outburst, recognizing the dark and damp space almost instantly. Still weak from the discharge, her magical core yet to recover from the previous depletion, she only managed to flip herself over onto her back, feeling the cold cement of the floor beneath her, the uncomfortable clamminess seeping into her skin through her clothes. She was in her cellar, the area of the house she rarely frequented, as only her small distillery was situated there and not much else. It would seem that her magic took her to the safest place in her house, where she had been free to let go of her reins and not destroy anything of value.
As she lied on the hard surface, she used the calming exercises Dr. Hopper had taught her to slow down the furious tempo of her heart beat, her mind firmly focused on counting and instructions, forcefully cleared of all other distractions. She had used it to restrain her magic, but now she was using it to keep herself together, trying to control her emotions. Slowly, and with great persistence, her pulse returned to normal and her magic reverted into its benevolent existence, easily contained and utilized. Only then, Regina became aware of the physical pain she was experiencing, frowning at its appearance. Carefully, she moved her head as she lifted her left hand and saw the cement rash and cuts over the palms, some of the deeper wounds still oozing blood, despite the gray dust covering most of the injuries in a caked layer. A quick glance to the right told her that her other hand was in similar condition. Apart from those injuries, it seemed that her knees suffered as well, along with her pricy pumps, due to her kneeling on the rough surface. It seemed that she also had a slight muscle pains, telling her that her magic did a quite number on her, as well as her rampant emotions.
After several self-encouraging breaths, the brunette gingerly rose to her feet, wincing when her moves would aggravate some of her wounds, then with care, climbed up to the ground level of the house, not willing to put additional strain to her already overburdened magic reserves. Almost unconsciously, she directed herself to the kitchen and grabbing one of her towels, she took the diaries resting at the counter, taking care not to touch them directly, using the cloth to handle the books. With the journals in her possession, she directed herself to her bedroom, knowing that the best thing to do now was to get some rest, as she was pushing on two days without a wink, and the past week had been anything but restful with Henry being ill and the appearance of the journals. As she walked into her room, she dropped the notebooks onto her bed and went to her in suite, taking off her clothes and preparing for a long bath needed to relax her muscles. While she waited for the tub to fill, she cleaned the abrasions on her palms, not even acknowledging the blood and dirt flowing away with the water in the sink. Knowing that entering the hot water with still bleeding hands would defeat the purpose of a bath, she willed her magic to heal the skin, using only a light trickle of it, wary of its use so soon after the discharge in the basement.
An hour later, she crawled into her bed, dressed only in one of Emma's beaters and comfortable cotton briefs, pulling the diaries to herself as she situated herself and lied down, unconscious claiming her even before she lowered her head to the pillow completely.
"So, what did you two learn?" David asked, as he held his mug, finally deciding to break the uncomfortable silence Mary Margaret had insisted on while she had prepared a light dinner for them and clearing away the dishes. He knew from her behavior that something bad had happened at Regina's and that his wife was more than reluctant to share, but he also had a feeling that she needed to, as they had no secrets between them, not only because his True Love was unable to keep them, but because honesty was too much important and valued in their relationship. So, as he grew tired of watching her wipe the counter for the fourth time, he asked, not missing the sudden freezing of his wife in the middle of the motion.
The woman looked at him and suddenly, her tired eyes filled with tears as she leaned back, shaking her head, unable to properly formulate the answer for her husband. How do you tell someone that you had witnessed a member of their complicated family learn that she had been nothing but a mere pawn for her parent, a tool toward attaining more power, easily discarded?
"Hey," the man spoke with panic rising in him at such strong reaction, as he rose from his seat at the counter and quickly reached for his wife, his hands pulling her into his comforting hold as he tried to get her to calm down. He led her to the living room and lowered them down to the sofa, arranging them so he could embrace her with both arms, while she sobbed into his shirt. After a while, when Mary Margaret had managed to get herself together to start talking, she hesitantly told the story of her evening, spending more than couple of hours speaking of Cora's past and the consequences it had on both her and Regina.
Learning that Leopold had been engaged with Cora first made David swallow hard, his stomach rolling at the disgust the information created in him. He had known that the King had been quite older than the queen, but the fact that Cora had been the similar age as Eva only drove the point that much further as he considered the ages of the characters involved in the story. After Emma had discretely confirmed his thoughts about Regina's treatment by the King's hands, he held no ill will toward the sorceress that had made his life hell, nor did he hold any resentment toward the mother of his grandson, his once hate and anger turning into compassion, understanding and kinship. He had surmised that Regina's home before the castle had not been a benevolent one, but now he felt horror as he fully realized the implications of Cora's coldness and harsh conditioning of an innocent girl that would later become the most terrible villain in his life.
Before the trigger business, while Snow had been, well, indisposed, still wrecked with guilt over her role in Cora's death, David had often thought about the older woman's last moments, considering that Regina had at least gotten some measure of closure before the Queen of Hearts had died in her arms, the words he had heard seeming like a good way to share feelings with the devastated daughter. However, as he heard that Cora had meant those words for her elder daughter, the one she had not seen from the day of her birth, and not for the woman she had raised, his heart broke for his former enemy. In retrospective, it made sense that Cora's specter had ignored the brunette, even going to the great lengths to push her out of the way.
It seemed that Regina had been in for a great deal of pain, and it was all for nothing, as they learned nothing of Zelena's past, except the facts and events relating to her birth.
Only when Mary Margaret fell asleep on him, after exhausting herself with the hard retelling of the evening, he moved, carrying her to bed, gently enough for her not to feel the transition. With ease born of great love and familiarity, he disrobed her and moved her under the heavy quilt, kissing her shirt covered belly before he tucked her in. In a way, he was grateful that the possession had taken a lot out of her, for there would be no other way for her to sleep that night, too concerned for Regina and distressed over the truths she had learned. She would've spent the night worrying about the woman and that much stress wasn't good for the baby.
Just like that, his thoughts turned from his daughter's True Love to his unborn child, as he went back into the kitchen to wash the mug that was left on the counter. When Snow had told him that they were expecting, they had spent hours talking deep into the night, discussing everything and anything related to the baby that they were expecting, and one of those topics had been their somewhat taciturn agreement that they would travel to the Enchanted Forest, despite the dangers they might be facing. Mary Margaret, already filled with doubt and guilt for getting pregnant before resolving all the residual resentment and hurt between them and their daughter, had been quite adamant in insisting that they were to go, regardless of any and all complications. He, on the other hand, was reluctant to bring his pregnant wife into a world that was so filled with dangers at any day, especially during the war time, however, he did agree that staying in Storybrooke was not the solution either. So, he had done the only thing he could – he had agreed and quietly resolved to make sure nothing would happen to Snow. Having learned that the Enchanted Forest was in turbulent times only made his resolve that much stronger, knowing that he had to prepare. So, using his sleeplessness, he planned out a workout schedule for himself, noting that he should sharpen his sword one of these days. He even considered going to the hunting and sports store to buy more supplies, such as arrows, crossbows and hunting knives – all made of far sturdier materials than anything they had brought over from their world. Perhaps, bringing the subject of armaments up with Regina and Neal, as they were the only adults apart from Hook who could leave Storybrooke unharmed, would insure them having superior weapons.
After he made sure that the loft was locked up and lights turned off, he changed into pajamas and joined his wife in bed, tenderly gathering her in his arms as he settled for the rest of the night, willing his mind to calm, as he pushed his worries away, to be ruminated under the light of day.
From the moment a small, cold and dark heart had landed in her hand, there was only one thought that Regina had in her mind – to reach her mother as soon as possible. Even though she was quite perturbed to see Snow in her own personal lair, standing among her mother's precious things, she did not waste any time on long awaited and wanted revenge, her whole attention drawn to the shriveled object she cradled tenderly in her palms. Taking off, she directed herself toward the pawn shop, not aware if she was using magic to travel or going on foot – that hard she was focused on the treasure in her arms.
After a small eternity, or was it only several seconds, she appeared before the harsh woman, the person she had yearned to gain approval from since the day she was old enough to understand that the coldness that woman had directed at her was somehow her fault. Ignoring the fact that her mother was in the middle of a gruesome attack toward laid out Rumplestiltskin, the dagger high in the air – poised to kill, she rushed forward without a thought and pushed the small heart through the back of the woman, and placing the precious object in its rightful place after so many decades spent out of it. As the dagger fell to the floor, the older woman turned to her daughter, disbelieving smile lighting up her face, as her hand covered her heart, still wincing at the presence of the beating organ. But, the victory and love Regina experienced in that moment all too soon turned to bewildering agony and hatred toward the Dark One and that wretched child of White. The words that would haunt her escaped her mother's lips and she felt her heart tear.
However, the event did not enfold like the last time. No, now the words were spoken to a nondescript woman with red hair and green skin standing in a corner while Regina was utterly ignored, as her mother's eyes searched for the woman and beaming in her direction, her hand reaching out for the intruder.
Too confused to even react, the brunette felt the scene change and suddenly she was kneeling on the stone floor before her father's body, his eyes still open and portraying the shock and betrayal at the actions of his own daughter against him. Once more the unrecognizable woman appeared before her and spoke, with her mother's voice, making Regina cringe. "Have you learned nothing? Love is weakness, Regina!" The sorceress said before she disappeared in a whiff of a green magical smoke leaving her alone with the corpse of her other parent.
Seeing her father for the first time after that night, Regina could not but scream her outrage at the fate punishing her so harshly, as she knew, perhaps only subconsciously, that some version of this event had happened years before, long before she had changed and accepted the burdens of her deeds. Now, as she was forced to re-experience one of the most emotionally brutal events in her past, she dissolved into helpless tears, the only comprehensible words leaving her were 'Sorry' and 'Daddy', repeated over and over again, more often than not drowned by the shuddering cries shaking the brunette.
Once more the scene changed. Looking around, Regina noticed that she was no longer within the walls of her castle, nor in Storybrooke, but somewhere she had never been before. A field covered in snow, undisturbed by wind and ice, surrounded her, but in the distance to the right, a small stone fence enclosed a plot that was not only isolated by the wall of dark rock, but with naked trees covered in crystals of ice. As a lonely bell tolled, along the sounds of sorrowful summons made by the wind, ghostly howling through the area, making Regina's skin creep with uneasiness, she followed the call – walking toward the sequestered place, all too soon realizing it was a resting place, a small cemetery, albeit very different from one in Storybrooke. Regina walked through the arch of the dark stone before her feet fell upon a forgotten path leading farther in.
In the diminishing light of the setting Sun that shone, the tinsels of ice glimmered, making the trees aglow in the tranquil twilight, the hallowed silence clung in the air. Soon enough, the brunette came upon a lonely figure set at the center of this strange graveyard, and in the lifelike figure the Queen saw a brave knight decked in uniform of her Court, however with more elegant and durable materials, speaking of a high born member of her Knights, its nobility of birth and spirit more than obvious by the guarding posture the knight held. The black marble was covered by the slowly falling snow, its brightness adding to the eerie feeling of the place.
Coming closer to the sentinel carved out of stone, she peered deeply into its features, something about them making her heart squeeze in pain of loss.
But, before she could consider why the sharp lines of the marble face were so familiar to her, a raven cried above her, guiding her toward the raised altar, resting under the canopy of stone and ivy. As the mournful bell still ringed out, Regina stepped upon the steps leading her to the marble mausoleum, the uneasiness that had followed her growing into concern tinged with panic, her heart already knowing who would she find on the such altar, but she refused to acknowledge its truth as she came closer to the preserved body.
Hand flew to her mouth the moment her eyes fell upon the face of the person, as her world exploded in pain. There was her Savior, bedecked in the finest cloths her kingdom had to offer, black and styled after the Black Knights' uniforms, the ivory white skin almost shining against it. And, there on her chest, firmly in her grasp, her beloved Knight had the familiar sword placed in the position of honor that her soldiers practiced, its blade broken near the hilt, the larger part of it resting against Emma's belly and legs, while the hilt was put right onto the chest bone, close to her heart.
"No," she whispered as she stepped forward, her eyes taking in the cold corpse that once housed her beloved True Love. "NO!" she screamed to the heavens as she collapsed onto the shell of the Savior, the briskness of the winter air nothing compared to the ice that now flowed through her veins, as the sea of pain engulfed her, her eyes unable to look away from the serene face frozen in death. The despair and hurt that filled her soul were innumerable times much worse than the anguish that Daniel's passing had left in her, as she cried before the monument of the cruelty of Fate and Destiny heaped upon her. It was so strong that she had forgotten everything else, everyone else, her whole world focused onto the unmoving hero laid for the final rest, all the joy and happiness gone, and as her eyes drifted toward the broken blade, Regina felt the call of the soulmate from beyond calling for her, to join her, to end this suffering. However, she could not move, not even to grant herself the sweet oblivion from such pain, her body seized in the catatonia of her loss, and as the fires of her magic and her heart dimmed with every minute she spent looking at the features of her Sheriff, Regina was lost to time and space.
After a while, gentle hands tenderly landed on her upper arms, pulling her into a warm body behind her, away from the dead hero. She lacked the will and strength to resist the persistent yet careful guidance of the person pressed against her, not caring of whatever would happen to her. Only when her head landed on a familiar shoulder and her nose detected the more than welcome scent of leather, metal and something intricately connected to her True Love did she realize who had her in gentle embrace and suddenly, her heart that had almost been turned to stone flared with life and hope, the very turbulence of violent relief breaking her further, as she collapsed in joyous sobs while the caring hands rubbing her back. Surrendering completely to the loving hold she closed her eyes, as a soft murmur of the Sheriff passed over her, comforting her, as she felt her Savior guide her away from the somber place, the heat and light embraced her almost instantly.
When she was calmed enough to understand what was happening, she grasped the situation and sighed heavily, while she glanced around the lavish bed, noticing that her beloved was wearing the very clothes she had seen her displayed in, only now she could appreciate the handsomeness it gave to the Sheriff, along with distinguishing nobility. "It is all a dream," she said with scorn for the event, as she burrowed deeply into the comforting hold.
A light chuckle was heard from the woman holding her, before a gentle touch of lips landed on her forehead before a finger pushed Regina's face upward, and the regal woman met her beloved for what it seemed to be the first time after leaving her on the shore of the other world, the green eyes crinkling happily as the brunette drank in thirstily the features of her soulmate. She knew what was happening, for Emma had described such instances in the journals, but it did not mean anything less for her – despite knowing that it wasn't real. Perhaps, knowing that it wasn't real, it meant more to Regina, because Emma had surmised that their own magic had been trying to console them by using the love of their True Love to create an avatar of their loved ones, summoning them in the times of great need. Such appearance of her blonde Savior only confirmed that the Sheriff loved her immeasurably.
"Will you stay?" Regina whispered softly as she reached for Emma's leather vest, holding on tightly to the woman, as she leaned into the warm body beneath her.
"I am part of you," the Savior replied softly before she kissed her chastely but with so much love and tenderness. "Even when your dreams are dark, I am here." Then, gently, she stroked the olive cheek covered in trails of salt, her fingers rubbing off the evidence of her tears. "As you have told me, you are never alone. Even if I am not physically there to hold you, you will always have me in your heart." The brunette sighed at the slight reproach of her thoughts, realizing that Emma had seen her wish when her eyes had fell upon the hilt she had gifted to her Knight. And, the Sheriff was right to chide her for her thoughts – for even if her dreams were true, she had no right to rush into meeting her soulmate so soon in the afterlife, because there were still people that needed her. Her boys were the perfect example, and she frowned at herself, acknowledging the fault of her thinking, not comfortable with the idea that she could have abandoned them so easily and without further thought. After all that she had been with Henry, all the hurt and pain, to simply lose sight of him and discard him just like that – it was something that burned her very soul, adding to the still rising amount of onus that seemed that it was going to drown her.
The blonde broke her self-recrimination with another kiss, dousing her doubts and guilt with the everlasting power of love, coaxing a dazed smile out of the Queen with her tender ministrations. "Just hold on, for a little while. It will all end soon. Until then, train the magic and prepare." With one last kiss, this one with more passion and energy, her Knight smiled lovingly and disappeared, leaving her soothed and relaxed, a soft murmur remaining after the Savior vanished. "Come find me, my love."
Regina opened her eyes, finding herself in her own bed with light of the morning falling over her face, still twisted in a false scowl that remained from her dreamscape as she knew why the blonde had used such particular words in her parting. In her hand she was clutching the journals and she smiled at the vivid dream of her beloved that managed to heal her hurt far better than any words she had read, even though they did offer comfort. Not only was she consoled and calm, but also very well rested – something that rarely happened to her, especially after the goodbyes with her True Love.
Stretching her still tender muscles, Regina rose from her bed, ready for a new day, determined to do whatever she needed to be ready for the day when the beans matured enough for inter-world jump. Her mind already on calculating the necessities and demands of the journey, along with the needs of the town she currently presided over, she quickly showered and got dressed, welcoming the beginning of the work week with a renewed zeal. Sending off a short text to Jim that she would pick up the children shortly, she rushed out of the house like a woman on the mission, a list of things to do quite clear in her mind.
"Mommy!" Kyle shouted from the front porch of Kathryn and Jim's house, holding firmly to one of the banisters of the railing, already dressed in his thick jacket. Right beside him was Henry, watching her with scrutinizing look, his young mind already assessing his mother's state. He was more than glad to see the tired lines of her features recede as it only spoke that she had a good night's rest, something that she hadn't had in the previous days, but he still wanted to know what had happened during the ritual and after.
"Hey, Mom," he greeted the brunette, surrendering to her fierce hold as he returned the hug.
"Hi, honey," his mother replied softly, before she smiled at him, her dark eyes flying over his face as if she had not seen him for a very long time, missing him greatly. However, before he could ask her what was wrong, she turned to the younger boy, picking him up into her arms and walked toward the blonde woman watching them from the door.
"Thank you for watching them," Regina said with gratitude, smiling as the princess suggested doing it again, mentioning that her door was always open for babysitting. After a short conversation relating to the town business and the Town meeting Regina wanted to set for the Friday, to prepare the citizens for the temporary change of the personnel, the brunette and her two boys went to the car.
Taking them back home, she walked into her study. "We're leaving in half an hour, Henry," she told her son as she picked all the files that had been left over from the past week, smiling at the thunderous run up the stairs. She didn't even bother shout after him, as she looked up to the toddler she had placed on the couch. "When you get a bit older, you wouldn't run up the stairs, would you? Right, sweetie? You will be quite the well behaved boy, won't you?" The only answer she got was the happy babble of the child, however it was enough to make her smile again, and this time wider as she tickled the boy.
Dropping Henry off at the school, Regina directed herself to the office, ready to tackle the necessary paperwork, before organizing everything for the winter break, wanting to leave most of it cleared out for Kathryn – and with no glaring problems, the day to day business of the town should be smooth.
While she was steamrolling through the documentation, she called Anton, knowing that the message she left with him would find the pirate captain the quickest, expecting his visit in the afternoon, with the detailed report on the beans and the status of the ship, knowing that he had been determined to reinforce the Jolly Roger, anticipating quite a few more jumps through the portals and the last time it had been only because of Regina's magic that it hadn't fallen apart. There was another reason for her furious tempo of work – she wanted to clear up her schedule as much as she could so she could step up Henry's riding practice, along with her own, as well as to have some time to work on her magic. She fully intended to take her own advice that she had given to Charming the day before.
A/N Happy Mothers' Day