She leans against the cold brick wall of the building, everything around her is buzzing with activity. Sighing again, she rubs her forehead, lets her finger wander through the fake blonde hair of her wig, which still looks way too real for her liking. The phone in her hand weighs heavy. She has no time for this, but she wants it done.
"Josh, you need to listen to me. Josh. Listen!" She's getting agitated with every minute he's just talking her to the ground without even listening. "Josh! No, you're not listening. Josh. This is not what I want. You are not listening. You never ask me what I want or how I am feeling. When we're talking it's all about you saving the world. What about me saving the world?", she lowers her voice to make sure that nobody is listening. "Is my work not important? I know that I am not saving lives like you do, but I am finding justice for lost lives, giving closure to their loved ones. Is that not as important as your work?"
He instantly paddles back. "Yes, Katie, of course. I never said that it isn't. What you do is important, but …"
"No, Josh, there is no but! We barely have seen each other in the past twelve months. You've always been on the go, saving lives. And I've been here."
"Kate…"
"And that's okay, Josh. But … I-I've learned that I don't miss you. I've learned that I don't care how much time we spend apart. I don't care if you're here or somewhere else. I don't care how much time passes before we talk again. And that's scaring me, Josh. And it should scare you, too. Because I think … I think we're not right for each other. We haven't even set a date in twelve months. We haven't even talked about the wedding or what we want for our lives."
"Of course, we did, Kate!" He interrupts, his voice angry now. She just ignores him and goes on, she has to finish this this time.
"What you want is completely different from what I want, but you never even asked me what I want. You just presumed that we want the same things. And that's why it's not going to work."
"Kate…"
"No, Josh. It's over. I'm sorry, but it's over." She ends the call, the phone almost drops from her ear, her whole body shaking with adrenaline. Slowly, she leans back, lets her head rest against the cold bricks, closes her eyes for a second, and tries to blend out the buzzing, the activity, the hustle around her, taking a few deep breaths. It's over. She should feel sad but all she feels is relief, the weight that's been lifted from her shoulders. Someone next to her clears his throat and she opens her eyes again.
"Hey, Kitten," Jack, one of the waiters, starts talking, "you wanted me to tell you every time somebody asks about you. So, there was this rich guy earlier, he's been here before a couple of days ago, couldn't keep his eyes off of you. Today, he asked me about you. I just thought that you should know. He's kinda strange. He's just sitting there alone with his laptop, typing furiously." Everything inside Kate goes still. Oh, no, please, god, no. No, no, no, no.
"Thanks, Jack. I'll be cautious. Could you maybe keep an eye on him? To see that … yeah, just keep an eye on him, please?" Jack nods and she rounds him to get dressed for the opening act.
She passes the big stage and … she shouldn't risk it.
No, she really shouldn't. But the temptation is too great, curiosity gets the better of her. She just can't help herself, she hasn't really seen him in so long. It's been almost two years, since … She saw him when he was there three days ago, felt her heart breaking to see him sitting there with his bimbo draped around his arm, cuddling and laughing, with these guys she doesn't know.
And … it hurts her that she doesn't know what type of friends he has. She doesn't know him, she never really has! She has no right to be upset about it. But she is upset …
So she sneaks up to the corner of the stage, to peek around the curtain … there he is, sitting on the same table like three nights ago and, exactly like Jake described, typing furiously on his laptop. Kate can't help the little smile that's tucking on the corners of her lips. He really is here.
Did he recognize her three days ago? This is going to give her so much trouble. His presence alone makes her uneasy. But it's so good to see him, to know that he's here. Probably because of her, the thought strikes her. He's got to be here because of her, right? He's here alone with his laptop, writing. Then it hits her. Oh, my god, he's writing! He is writing again.
She heard rumors on the fansites that he stopped writing at all after he canceled the Nikki Heat series two years ago. She believed the rumors. It made sense to her. She really feared she would never read anything new from him, after grieving the open end of Nikki and Jameson.
But now … he's here and he's writing! Jack was right, he's typing furiously on his laptop. His hair mussed, standing up in all different directions, disturbed by his restless fingers that ran through it, again and again, every other minute, every little pause he makes to think about his next words, the next plot. It's the first time she watches him write and it feels so intimate and special like watching an artist creating a masterpiece.
She feels the smile spread across her face as she leans deeper and deeper into the wall, warmth spreads through her body. Why does seeing this bring her so much peace to her always raving mind?
"A secret lover?", a female voice suddenly says right next to her, making her flinch hard and leave the peephole. Turning on her heels, she looks into the coal-black eyes of Sandra Dee, at least that's what she calls herself here. She relaxes again, still aware of the teasing and curious sparkle in the woman's eyes.
"No! It's a celebrity." Sandra huffs a small laugh, rolls her eyes, says something about her being green, but still goes to watch.
"Oh, it's Richard Castle. Saw him here a few days ago already. He must've liked it then. Or someone," she winks at her, causing Kate to go into panic mode for a second. Does she something about them? Their history? Did she recognize Kate as his muse? But then she continues to talk. "Maybe add a little extra sway to your dance tonight and he'll buy you a drink." Add an extra swing to her hips? Yeah, right, and why would she do that?
But then she thinks about their partnership, all the teasing and innuendo. What if he really recognized her? What if he's here because of her? Oh, yes, she's going to tease him like there's no tomorrow and he's all the way over there and there's nothing he can do about it. She chuckles to herself and finally goes to get dressed.
Oh, and teasing she does. During the opening act, she keeps her eyes trained on him and dances like she's just dancing for him alone, adding an extra sway to her hips just like she did when she first walked away from him. It feels so good, she can feel his eyes on her the whole time, watches with growing satisfaction how much it affects him, how agitated it leaves him when she goes off stage.
She can't resist but watching him from the side, how he's still typing as if his life depended on it. The grim determination on his face impresses her but also leaves her wondering why he's so determined to keep writing during the show. He only paused during the opening act and has been writing ever since even though some almost scandalous performances have been held. She thought he'd be ogling every female being on the stage until his eyes fell out, but he hasn't done more than just let the gaze wander with unfocused eyes, completely lost in his own world.
How he'd react if she'd sneak up on him and give him a private show? She chuckles softly to herself. Right now, she'd probably scare him to death, he's so focused and concentrated, she never would've believed that he could be like this. Yet another side of him she didn't know. With a sigh, she tears away her gaze from him and moves on to do her job, the reason she's actually here and enduring the itching wig and the uncomfortable, too-short dresses.
Everything changes when she goes back on stage for her solo performance. His eyes are on hers instantly. This time he's not getting drunk with his bimbo. This time he's just here for her – that he stops writing the moment the song starts tells her everything she needs to know, so she sings to him everything that he needs to know. She sang the song to him already days ago, but this time without the fear of being recognized, she cries her heart out, puts everything into the song, tells him how much it hurt her to see him walk away with his ex-wife.
She can see the tears glistening in his eyes, the light reflecting from the stage, catching in the moisture around his eyes. Kate almost loses her balance in the high heels. He's crying. He's crying because of her. Because of what she's singing about.
She sees him leave the room and there's nothing she can do about it. Nothing. And it makes her angry, sad, and devastated. He's walking away from her. Again. He's walking out on her while she sings her heart out. He's not allowed to do that! Not if he recognized her. And what else would he be doing here if he wouldn't have recognized her? If he wouldn't be here to be smug about how he looked through her cover. How he is going to ruin this whole operation?
Instead, he's running away crying? What the hell, Castle? He walked away with his ex-wife! He has no right to cry. It's her song, her feelings. He walked away from her.
Espo's voice suddenly drifts through her mind, words he said to her 666 days ago. Why do you think he's been following you around all this time? What, research? The guy's done enough research to write 50 books. Look, whatever the reason is, I'm pretty sure it doesn't include watching you be with another guy.
Uh, damn. He was seeing her talking to Demming over and over again. Letting Demming bring her coffee even though it has been their thing. Choosing Demming to go into interrogation with her even though Castle was her partner. She was walking away from him before he did.
If only she would've been able to tell him that she was walking away from Tom for him. That she realized that she was in love with him. And even after Josh and all these years, she still is.
Right after she finishes her act, she goes after him, searching everywhere for him. Asking Jack if he has an idea where he went, he watches her with soft blue eyes, so unlike Castle's, and points down the hallway to the storage rooms. She doesn't waste any time and follows him there, almost running after him.
Something clutters the moment she finds him, instantly detecting that something's wrong, can see it in the tension between his shoulders that he's bracing himself to either run or fight. The way his attention is fixed on some corner and he still hasn't even noticed that she's here right behind him, shows her that something is wrong, that there is something or somebody that might be a danger to him.
So she does what she does best: She's having his back.
She's doing what she's done all these years ago with the Russians when she had to save him from his own stupidity. So she's doing it again, whatever he's done, whatever trouble he's in, she's having his back.
Softly, she curls her finger around his biceps, surprised at how firm and strong his muscles underneath are. She never realized how toned he was. Why has he muscles like that? He's just a writer!
He's tensing up beneath her fingers, she can feel the ripple of shock run through his body.
"There you are, handsome," her voice full of liquid sex sounds alluring, her cool finger cupping his jaw, scratching over the oh, so sexy seven-day-stubble. "You've been wandering off too far." She giggles, part girl, part seductress. She giggles?! "Took me almost a bit too long to find you. Barely couldn't wait any longer."
She falls completely into the role of Kitten, the seductress, pressing her body against his, pretending that they sneaked here to screw each other, to continue her performance. She still can't see anybody, but she knows that there has to be something going on that she's missing. She trusts him. She trusts him with her life. It surprises her how at ease she feels. She hasn't seen him in two years and still, they are instantly back in sync. She can still read him like an open book and touching him feels so amazing. Way too amazing.
She leans forward to press her lips against his, to wake him up from his frozen state. His lips are surprisingly soft, he tastes like coffee and gummy bears. It's all it takes to wake him, his lips are responding to hers, his arm wraps around her waist, pulling her closer to him, making her heart skip a beat, oh, who is she kidding? Her heart completely forgets how to beat correctly. She can still feel the tension in his body, can see his troubled mind when he opens his amazingly blue eyes to lock them with her hazel ones. Oh, damn, she missed those eyes.
"You were perfect out there. Cannot wait to get the encore you promised me, Kitten." Oh, the way he says Kitten, teasing her like she did all these years before when his deep-fried Twinkie of an ex-wife showed up. His hands are on her hips, bracketing them, guiding them to be flush against him. Relief floods her system, he's playing along, falling with ease into his role at her side.
With these words, he's turning her around strategically and pins her so fast and hard against the shelves that several canned goods fall to the floor with a loud clatter, mixing with her gasp of surprise and pain. Damn, these shelves are metal. He needs to be a little more gentle with her.
She's scratching her fingernails along his neck, a warning, a revenge, that causes him to groan loudly. Her breath catches at this noise, her heart dancing uncontrollably in her chest, unbearable heat collecting in her center. Whoa, what is happening here, Kate? She knew that there was chemistry between them, but …
With another loud groan, he hauls her up, she instantly wraps her legs around his hips, pulls him closer, as if they were performing a dance they perfected a long time ago.
A moan escapes her lips, heat burning on her cheeks and in her middle. Oh, god. He didn't think this through, she can see it in the way his eyes widen in shock at the intimate contact. Her hazel eyes are delving deep into his, searching his eyes for clues, her whole body vibrating with adrenaline … and longing for him, for what always has been between them.
His eyes are bleeding apologies, but the tension is still there, his alertness palpable as if she could see the hairs standing up on the back of his neck. Even though she still can't see what got him so alerted. And she has no idea what he's sorry for. For leaving? For this situation? For dry humping her without saying hello first? She can feel how much she affects him, how much he wants her, can see it in his eyes, his timid but longing touches.
She doesn't want his apologies. She doesn't want him to be sorry. She rolls her hips against his, using the momentum to push from the shelves and wrap her arms around his neck, drawing him in for a long, sensual kiss that leaves both of them breathless and moaning.
He tries to grab hold of the shelf, causing even more tinned food to fall to the floor with a loud clatter.
"Shh, someone will find us and I'll be fired," she chides him with a chuckle in her voice, only causing him to laugh.
"You're just way too sexy for me, Kitten." He almost purrs her fake name. "Let me get you out of here, somewhere more private where I can seduce you in all kinds of ways you deserve." He means it, it's right there in his eyes. She quickly averts her gaze, dips her head to hide the burning heat in her cheeks. What the hell is he doing with her? He gently lets her down, wraps an arm around her waist to keep her close or maybe he can sense how wobbly her knees are and that she needs the support. She leans into him, fake-giggles, his nose brushes along her neck, making her gasp for real as his lips find her ear and hot air flows over her soft spot.
"They are after you, Kate", he whispers, his voice heavy as he leads her out the hallway, away from whoever was in that storage room, emptying an ice bucket over her, sobering her up again. They are after her.