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Covenant
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Synopsis: Four years into the Fourth Shinobi War, Orochimaru offers to turn.
He all but requests Sakura by name to be the contact.
It is, quite clearly, a trap—least of all because he's supposed to be dead.
But what is a losing side to do except take the hand that's offered?
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20. The Request
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THEY'D FALLEN into the seventh circle of hell.
It couldn't be later than seven in the evening, but the sun set over an hour ago. The air should be well below freezing this time of year in Wind Country, but the piles of corpses and puddles of blood and gore steamed up from the ground. It warmed the winter desert air with a metallic, rotting fume that gagged her for the first half hour. A humid body-heat skulked up her legs and wafted around her hips, overtaking her whole being when she bent to heal.
Sakura dodged through the pockets of fighting, eyes desperately scouring the ground for signs of life from the downed in Ally uniforms. Kneeling when she found one, shoving her chakra into the person without thought. Evading stray jutsu and weapons in her search, shaking pursuers by purposefully leading them into other fights.
She'd covered her telltale hair with a hood during the first ambush almost eight hours ago, so enemies had no reason to chase her over any other Ally they came upon. It was easy to run and dodge until the enemy grew bored or distracted.
There were screams and cries from every direction. Shouts of jutsu, of warning, of death—the sharp clash of metal on metal. The dull thunk of metal on flesh and bone. The battlefield was so loud she couldn't hear her own thoughts shrieking at her to MOVE, DON'T THINK!
And corpses.
So many corpses—so numerous their random piling looked systematic. There were thousands in every direction. Limp and twisted and lifeless. Dull eyes still open, unseeing. Wounds so fresh the blood still leaked as hot rivulets onto the sand. Growing less human-like and more butchered meat as the night deepened; as shinobi fought over them, their boots and misaimed jutsu crushing them against the earth.
She hadn't experienced this scale of extinction since the first battle.
Her only job was to find the injured in this ruthless chaos and heal them enough to get them on their feet. There was no field medical to port the wounded. Base medical critically overloaded three hours ago and couldn't accept anyone else. She and Tsunade hadn't been able to get Katsuyu on most of the troops.
Everything had fallen to shit.
The battle plans, the coordinated attack, the successful system they'd been winning with recently. Useless.
They had only a little over an hour left before enemy reinforcements arrived, and the Allies had yet to get within a mile of the coordinate. Linking was intermittent—it was clear intelligence and battle command were being shepherded around together but were under attack. Without comms, the army had no instruction but to throw themselves against the enemy blockade in the hopes of breaking through.
Nothing was going as planned, and even though Sakura considered herself highly experienced in war, she'd never felt as scared as she did then: ducking and slinking through the battlefield, searching for signs of life, bodies dropping by the second everywhere she turned.
This was it—the Allies had fucked up. She was going to die and so was everyone else in this God-forsaken desert nightmare.
Someone had tipped off Madara.
In the bedlam, it was impossible to know whether it was a betrayer or enough of the Ally army's movements had been seen and deduced by enemy scouts over the past day. Either way, Madara's troops had been ready.
The Allies thought they'd catch the 12,000-strong force based around the coordinate off guard at best, or in a defensive stance at worst. Figured they'd have the time to assemble and position the various battalions like in the previous attacks. Structure out smaller platoons. Set up base for field medical and linking. Secure a location for battle command.
But enemy forces were lying in wait for the converging divisions. Over half of the Allied troops were ambushed on their way to Wind's southwest corner. They were forced to fight for every inch through the country to even get near the coordinate—where a massive portion of enemy forces barricaded themselves in a two-mile radius around the point.
Darui's battalion, almost 2,000 strong and encompassing Sakura and the Kumo medics, was attacked just before they swung around what used to be Sunagakure. It took them five hours to make it to the coordinate from there—when it should've taken them no more than two.
What remained of divisions trickled into the growing battle around the point as they overcame their own ambushes.
The Allies had no opportunity to secure locations for field medical, linking, or command. Couldn't organize the original battle plan since their forces were arriving late, depleted, and sporadically.
Sakura, medical commander despite Tsunade's presence in the battle, couldn't deploy Katsuyu for anyone beyond the battalion she'd arrived with and two others they happened to merge with as they fought their way to the coordinate. Tsunade managed to get the summon onto at least 3,000—a total of around 8,000 between the two of them. It still left 8,000—the other half of the 16,000 deployed troops—without. And since there was no ability to clear and secure a base in the middle of battle, there was no Healing Ground.
Field medical was in shambles, like everything else about this fight.
The original plan was for Sakura to lead a platoon of 50 medics from all five divisions. But the only medics she'd been in contact with were the ones with Katsuyu. The twelve that came with her from Kumo and the fourteen that came with Tsunade. In the hours she'd spent combing the battlefield ground, she'd come across only a handful of medics from the three other divisions. She'd promptly given them a portion of Katsuyu to maintain contact, but it worried her that almost 20 were unaccounted for.
Without a base to manage, there was nothing Sakura could do but revert to older war tactics. She ordered the medics onto the battlefield. Heal any downed Ally still breathing. Do not engage in combat. Run if you come under attack. Only heal if you have an opening.
A stealth mission.
As good as a suicide mission for the chunin medics sent to this battle, she knew. It was an order likely to haunt her if she made it out of this battle alive, but there wasn't any other order to give. Without field medical this was all the medics could do.
The air crackled and seared at her back the next second. She instantly dropped stomach-first into the muddy sand, and a dragon made of fire flew over where her body had been.
She tried not to think about the strange lumpiness of the ground or the puddles her hands and knees sunk into. She was on her feet again and sprinting away a moment later, careful not to look down at the color of muck clinging to the front of her. Blocking out the iron smell of it on her chin.
She glanced once over her shoulder for pursuers.
It was clear. But she was barreling toward a larger battle she couldn't afford to get caught in—so she slowed, scanning the ground. A man in an Akatsuki robe convulsed to her left, blood pouring from an axe wound to his gut. Sakura aimed and released a chakra scalpel at his forehead.
Better that than one of Madara's medics finding him and rousing him back into the fight.
Amid such a massive battle, it was easy to see the people littering the earth in the darkness. The sky was alight with jutsu and flashing weapons. Fire and lightning spawned from all angles, ice illuminated in their blaze.
As she walked, she pulsed chakra out of her feet, feeling for any still-conscious signatures as it returned to her. She stalked through the broken, departed bodies—killing the enemies who couldn't flee and kneeling to heal her allies who'd been left for dead.
She prayed not to find anyone she loved lying quiet on Wind Country sand. Lost forever to a war she'd forgotten the meaning of. Naruto, Tsunade, and Kakashi were here, somewhere in this hellscape. Hinata, Shino, Shizune, Gaara, Shikamaru, Ino. The Kage and jinchuriki were back in the battles, but it only meant that there were more people she could lose.
The minutes dragged on. She reduced again to something less than human. Running and dodging when an enemy spotted her. Mindless to anything but survival and saving those she could. The most base form of mammal cursed with the gift of healing.
Fewer and fewer of the fallen bodies showed signs of life. Her army couldn't have much more time, and the remaining forces wouldn't survive here against Madara's reinforcements. Soon they'd have to—
The earth tremored violently.
Ino's voice flooded her. Mission complete. Coordinate destroyed. All troops are to retreat northeast towards Amegakure.
Sakura met the eyes of the kunoichi she was bent over. A woman not much older than herself, with jet-black eyes and hair so muddied it was impossible to know its color. Sakura pulled the last of the poison from her lungs and stood, offering a hand.
"Thank you, Haruno-sama," the shinobi rasped as she clasped Sakura's wrist.
Sakura yanked her up and didn't ask how she'd known. "Start retreating," she commanded, turning away to scan the ground again.
She'd need to withdraw soon as well, but the fervor to not leave anyone behind gripped her gut like an eagle on prey. There was movement in the carnage to her left. She leaped a yard to it, kneeling to pull a boy from under a heap of bodies. She healed his broken femur in seconds and ordered him off. Scanned the ground.
Someone was gargling blood to her right, but the battle had died down and it was harder to see from any distance. She moved carefully towards the sound, mindful of her steps over the corpses, searching—
"Haruno!"
A large hand fell on her shoulder in the next breath. She looked up at a man who towered over her. The night's darkness blanketed his distinguishing features in shadow.
It took her a moment. "...Kitsuchi."
Through their contact, she felt how depleted he was of chakra. She reached into the pack on her thigh and pulled out a soldier pill, offering it to him. Though she'd used them as sparingly as possible, there weren't many left.
"You can't stay to save anyone this time," he said, glancing around, popping the pill into his mouth. His voice was stern but held no insult. "We can't afford you getting caught by the reinforcements. There's an order out to make sure you're safely evacuated."
An order? she thought briefly.
Hundreds of Allied shinobi were running past them. Madara's remaining forces seemed to have withdrawn from the fight completely. Her eyes fell back to the ground. She knew there were hundreds more nearby, alive but injured—who could leave this place if she reached them. Who never would if she left.
The weight of their lives balanced on her shoulders. The choice of life or death was hers to make, in the end. A savior or an angel of death.
She had the authority to stay if she wanted. She could use Katsuyu and order the other 20-odd medics with the slug to stay, too.
She could do something. This time, she could finally do something.
The hand on her shoulder tightened at her unresponsiveness. "Come, Haruno. We must retreat at once."
It didn't feel real. It hadn't felt real for hours. Sakura's brain processed the moment as if watching it happen to a stranger. As if watching a movie.
A man was urging a woman to run away. They would die if they stayed in this graveyard. The mad rush of footfalls pounded in the winter wind, the cold and unforgiving moon hung above them. The woman's failed responsibility laid at their feet—thousands of corpses she hadn't saved. Friends who would never make it home. Lovers who wouldn't warm another bed; parents and children who'd never be buried with family.
The man wanted the woman to leave even more to such a fate. So it wouldn't be her fate, this night. Because she'd been deemed important, while these people were considered expendable.
He wanted her to let them die.
Sakura closed her eyes to the mangled human bodies; pulled her chakra tight so she couldn't feel if any of them were still alive. Clamped down on her mind so it wouldn't crack under the shame coursing through her. Unsealed a tonic from the sealing scroll wrapped around her wrist and gulped half of it down.
Kitsuchi was right. He was right.
"Okay." Please forgive me. "I'll go."
He was right—but this was wrong. All of it was so wrong.
Kitsuchi released a breath. Then he motioned her to follow him and took off northeast.
She gave herself ten seconds. Ten seconds to stand there alone on the field of broken shinobi and lost futures. Ten seconds to change her mind and keep searching. She'd had her eyes on the ground for the past few hours—she knew the count was going to be horrific.
It was on her. All those lives. This grave wouldn't be so deep if field medical was operational. It wouldn't grow deeper if she stayed and completed her job. She gave herself ten seconds to decide whether she'd give her life up this night to save a few more.
Living was already too painful. It wasn't scary at all to think she could be done with it tonight.
Ten seconds. Then she fisted her hands, shouted a curse in the wind, and turned to follow Kitsuchi. It'd be a sickeningly high count, but more army remained. Shinobi still lived who needed her at the next battle.
Sakura tried not to think about the people she was leaving to die as she ran away. Tried to ignore the wild, resigned gaze of that long-dead, middle-aged, legless Iwa man on her back.
But there was no escaping this battlefield. Not ever.
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They ran for two hours when the first warning came.
Enemy reinforcements to the east. Ino. Stay alert. Konoha, Kiri, and Suna Divisions report to the Kazekage. Kumo and Iwa Divisions continue retreating, wait for orders.
Gaara was flaring his chakra as a beacon half a mile to the north.
"Tsunade-sama requests you report as well, Sakura," said Katsuyu from her shoulder.
She came to an abrupt halt, as did Kitsuchi. Still-evacuating shinobi sprinting past them parted like a river around rocks.
"You're going to the Kazekage?"
Sakura nodded. "The Hokage summoned me."
"I'll go with you," he asserted, stepping closer.
"Your Division was ordered to retreat. You should go with Iwa."
"I was told there weren't divisions anymore." The older man smirked at her. "And I'd get yelled at if anyone found out I found you then left you under enemy attack."
Sakura turned the words over in her head. Kitsuchi was a high-ranking shinobi, yet he'd get in trouble for leaving one kunoichi by herself? Muffled footsteps whispered past them as she scrutinized his presence. And he'd been told to see to her safety should he find her?
Just what kind of orders were given involving her?
But there wasn't any time to puzzle it out, so she dropped it with a shrug. "We'll go together then."
They turned and made north without another word. As they neared the Kazekage's flare, the mass of moving bodies condensed and slowed until they found themselves in a standstill mob of bloody, sweaty, breathless ninja. There was an anxious tension in the air. The troops buzzed with restlessness.
Kitsuchi's size moved through the throng easily and Sakura stuck to his back, reaping the benefits.
They finally pushed into a small ten-by-ten clearing within the mob. Gaara, Tsunade, and the Mizukage stood within, shouting orders to their subordinates around them. Sakura took a breath before stepping into the space, her eyes on her mentor's sandals. Kitsuchi bowed beside her.
"Reporting," she said, voice low.
The Kage quieted for a moment as they turned to her. They were as dirty and sweaty as the forces surrounding them. It was the first time she'd seen them in such a state in years. The sight lifted the corner of her lips in a small smile and washed her stomach with anxiety in the same second.
Things would certainly end soon with the Kage back in battle. One way or another.
"Thank goodness you got here so quickly, Haruno," greeted the Mizukage.
The Hokage reached for her, pulling her by the arm and wrapping her in an embrace. Sakura's throat swelled as she swallowed back tears—she was so happy Tsunade was alive.
She was so angry with her mentor that she could scream.
"I was worried," Tsunade whispered into Sakura's hair. "I was worried I'd lose you not having seen or spoken to you."
I was too, Sakura wanted to admit. The words caught on her tongue as a second thought—How could you do that to Sai? To me?—imposed itself over all other sentiments. How dare you do that?
She pulled out of Tsunade's hug and glanced away with bitter resentment.
"Can you two summon Katsuyu for the troops here?" Gaara's voice was crisp over the noise of so many others.
Sakura nodded, letting the battle fall back upon her. It was easier to think of a fight than to sink into the anger lapping at her conscience. It was better for the army that she stay focused.
"We need more space," she remarked. The portion of Katsuyu she'd need to summon was too big for the small circle around her and the Kage.
"Everyone move back!" Tsunade shouted. Then, when it seemed as if no one was listening, "MOVE BACK!"
Kitsuchi turned with his arms out and started forcefully shoving the crowd behind him. The group pushed into itself, widening the opening one slow foot after another. Sakura bit her thumb and knelt to the ground in the new space.
She glanced at her shoulder. "I'll summon more of you, okay Lady Katsuyu?"
"Yes."
She pressed her hand to the ground and summoned a towering slug. Katsuyu started to split without being told, slithering into the massive crowd around them. Tsunade's chakra flooded into the new connection.
Konoha, Kiri, Suna troops: We engage only to secure a withdrawal. It was a voice Sakura was unfamiliar with. A sick feeling knotted in her belly, one she'd been trying not to think about since she found the Kage alone, without linking. Continue retreating while fighting.
Sakura started to turn to Tsunade. Her shoulders froze, and she turned to Gaara instead.
"Where's Ino?"
"Ahead with Iwa. Don't worry," he replied, and the ice that'd taken hold of her chest melted away. "What are our numbers, Lady Katsuyu?"
"Under five thousand," answered the summon on his shoulder.
A shadow passed over the Kazekage's face. Sakura knew what he was thinking. If another force of 12,000 was coming to meet them, their group wouldn't hold very long.
Cogs turned behind his eyes as he tapped his chin, then Gaara's gaze fell on her. "How much chakra do you have on reserve, Sakura?"
Since she hadn't used Healing Ground at all and Tsunade maintained half of Katsuyu the whole battle— "I'm almost full."
A moment passed. "That glowing technique—"
"No," Tsunade cut in. "She won't use that."
Sakura raised an eyebrow. "Won't use what?"
"You made Lady Katsuyu glow once and completely healed everyone. Do you think you can do that again?" asked Gaara.
She knew she could do it again. She'd practiced it, though at a much smaller scale.
"Yes."
The Hokage stepped forward, placing herself between Sakura and the Kazekage. "She won't use that jutsu, Kazekage. I forbid it."
"I will," countered Sakura, ambling around to face her mentor. "I can do it in short bursts periodically. It won't completely drain my chakra so long as I don't maintain it at length. It won't be like the time in Earth."
Tsunade's hands tightened into fists at her waist and her lips pursed. "Sakura—"
"Shishou, I'm the medical commander. You told me once that I can do anything I damn well please if it relates to medical. I'm capable of using the technique and it'll save more lives, so I'll do as I please this time." Rage and sorrow reared their heads inside her as she met her mentor's gaze. Sakura was done—she'd been done for months. Tsunade lifted her chin as Sakura lowered hers. "...And I'm not taking your orders anymore."
The Hokage's eyes widened as if she'd taken a slap to the face. "What do you—"
A shinobi standing behind the Mizukage spoke up. "The enemies are two minutes out!"
The two women faced off. Once, years ago, Sakura had known Tsunade like the back of her hand. Sakura knew her mentor's every expression, her mood from the pace of her walk, how much sleep she'd gotten from the honey tint of her eyes. Years ago, Tsunade had been like a second mother. And when Sakura's real mother died in the early days of the war, Tsunade was the one who held her through those tears.
The Hokage had meant everything to Sakura, years ago. But this person before her now felt like a stranger.
A jaded, unfeeling stranger who couldn't afford to think of anything except winning a war that Sakura didn't believe in anymore. She couldn't blame Tsunade for the hammer leadership sculpted her into, but she couldn't accept it either.
Sakura still knew this stranger well enough to see the pain on Tsunade's face. Could see the way her mentor swam in it for only a moment before damming it away in the back of her mind.
Exactly how her student had learned to do it, too.
"Do what you want," Tsunade spat a second later, turning away from Sakura. The Hokage's chakra flared against their shared summon. "...I'll cover more of Katsuyu so you can focus on the technique."
Sakura crossed her arms against the momentary urge to reach out and apologize. To close the space growing between them as Tsunade moved away into the crowd; mend the bridge that crumbled more with every step.
"We move out now," ordered Gaara.
Move out. Make for Amegakure.
She blinked once more at Tsunade's back before turning away to face the Kazekage for further instruction.
Gaara looked past her to Kitsuchi, who stood at Sakura's back. "Stick with Sakura."
Her brows furrowed at the odd order.
"Got it," replied the Iwa shinobi.
We'll be fighting backward. Don't fall behind. Kumo and Iwa have set traps on the path forward. Flare if a General is spotted.
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Shino died.
The three divisions fighting off reinforcements made it to what was left of Amegakure. Then they made it to Otogakure. By the time they crossed the Land of Frost's border, the last tailing enemies had given up and the Allied army had largely consolidated again.
They'd lost over 9,300 shinobi in the end, out of 16,000.
And Shino was one of them.
Sakura didn't know when or how it happened. Could barely wrap her mind around it. She found Ino and Shikamaru as soon as she entered the battle base that was erected on Lightning's border. Knew Naruto, Hinata, and Kakashi were safe in medical. Tsunade and Shizune were covering for her so she could search. Gaara was shut away in his tent refusing visitors.
But Shino wasn't on base when she arrived, and he never showed up as the last stragglers trickled in.
Just like that, he was gone.
No one knew where he was struck down or who landed the final blow. Sakura asked everyone who should've been in the same battalion, yet none had answers. There was no corpse to find to prove it. Nothing to confirm with finality that Shino died beyond the fact that she couldn't find him.
War was funny like that. Sometimes it was violently painful.
Sometimes she was forced to watch someone die in the most gruesome way imaginable. Saw lightning fry a person from the inside, their bodies lit up like a lamppost, then fall like a sack of potatoes. She'd held the gaze of a man being gutted from behind, his stomach there and then not. Blood spraying onto her face and into her eyes. Watched humans sliced into pieces, snapped in half like twigs, ran through with things that shouldn't be sharp enough to penetrate. Stepped over and into mortal mush, crunched bones of corpses she couldn't afford to carefully move around.
But sometimes war was achingly hollow.
Sometimes she quietly searched for a face she couldn't find at any campfire. Asked if anyone had seen someone that wasn't around. Moved from tent to tent, lifting their openings with sweaty hands and horribly hopeful heart. She haunted the groups of shinobi moving through the temporary base like a poltergeist with unfinished business. The camp was grief-stricken and lethargic as a sick animal, but it was orderly and safe and Shino simply...wasn't there.
There was no agonizing nightmare to box up and hide deep inside. No wound to seal or body to turn over for identification. No familiar, lifeless eyes to confront or corpse to tag or bury.
Shino must have died.
Probably all alone, in the middle of the biggest battle in almost five years. They'd never recover his body. Never know if it was quick—she'd never know if he was someone left injured on the field when they'd been ordered to withdraw or if his corpse was one she'd trampled over in her search for anyone still breathing.
But he wasn't in the base after the final count, and there was no other explanation except that he was probably gone forever.
The Mizukage died too, during the retreat. Sakura didn't know the details, but she knew Mei had been decapitated. Her guard said she threw herself between a blade and a young Kiri chunin. Whether true or not, it would undoubtedly be the story retold years from now.
A hero struck down defending her people to the last.
The Kiri shinobi were inconsolable. The Mizukage had always been kind to her, but Sakura had no emotions to spare the woman. No one knew what happened to Shino, sweet and helpful Shino, and that's all she had the capacity to care about.
There was no rumored saga for her friend. No eulogy of his brave end, no base-wide lamentation of his passing. And why would there be? Shino was just another number in the troops. The Mizukage was a leader of their cause. To the Allies, Mei's life was a steep price to pay for destroying a single room.
But to Sakura, her loved ones' lives were an ever steeper price for this whole war.
In search of Shino's three-stripe visor, she circled the base four times before giving in to the hollowness spreading through her core and crumbling.
Her body hit the cold, frozen ground and lay there as she'd landed: legs folded under themselves, arms bent at awkward angles by her side. Her hair was in her face and everywhere else it pleased. Right on the edge of a walkway near the sleeping tents, visible to all who passed. Though with such high losses, none had left the battle unscathed. No one paid any mind to yet another desolate shinobi, defeated and collapsed.
It was uncomfortable but she was without any energy to care to move.
The early morning stars twinkled back at her, laughing at the futility of humankind. Her breath frosted in the air above her mouth.
She wanted everything to be over. Everything. She didn't care about this war—didn't even remember what they were fighting for in the first place. So many people who she was supposed to keep alive were dead. So many of her friends were dead. Shino died, and Sakura hadn't even known for hours.
When did he die? Was he scared? Did he call for help? Had he called for her to heal him?
Sai was dead, and Tenten was dead, and Neji and Lee and Kiba and Choji. She wished desperately for their ghosts to appear and keep her company. For Shino to appear so she'd at least know with certainty he was dead. They'd been visiting her less and less lately, and even now they refused to come to her. When Sakura needed them most, they were gone. As truly as they were in the real world where she'd never again have them.
What good was left in this world? So many precious people were lost to her forever. There was no guarantee that her loved ones left wouldn't find the same fate.
She couldn't save them. She couldn't do anything.
I'm done, she thought. I can't do this anymore.
The pressure on her chest grew and grew and—it should've hurt. It should've been gut-wrenching. She should've been screaming, crying, breathless with the ever-compounding grief. The pressure ballooned until every inhale was haggard and it seemed like she might crater right into the earth. It should've been unbearable but—she felt nothing.
I'm done.
Stop that, hummed the seal.
Heat seeped from her neck, leeching across her skin unwanted and unwelcome. It was comforting, but she didn't want to be comforted. And it felt good, but she didn't want to feel good. She liked feeling nothing. It was so much better than hearing Tenten's soft plea, or the faint echo of Sai's cries. So much better than the wretched sanguineness that begged her to sit at the base's entrance, waiting for Shino.
She wanted to lay on the cold ground and never move again, just like all those bodies she had to search through during the battle. Just like the bodies of most of her friends.
The minutes ticked by. She wondered if Sasuke would miss her if she decomposed right here.
In the following minute, she wondered what hormonal deficiency she'd cornered her mind into that the only coherent thought left was about Sasuke.
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She stayed there for a long time, her mind sickly blank, starfished on the earth and watching stars fade into a light blue morning. Eventually someone found her.
They sat beside her and gingerly lifted her from the ground. Wrapped her in a loose but warm hug. Her arms were pinned to her sides, her face smashed into a man's chest. The green vest smelled of cigarette smoke, and the fabric of a mask chafed against her temple.
"I'm sorry for being late, Sakura," whispered Kakashi. "I just woke up."
His words startled her, and the briefest of memory flashed behind her eyes. She was a genin on a bridge in Konoha with Naruto and Sasuke. Kakashi was finally walking towards them, an hour past their meeting time, that stupid book in his hands. I'm sorry for being late, I had to get a cat out of a tree. His eye crinkled in a hidden grin as he scratched the back of his head. They were together. Everyone was alive. Everything was right and good, and their biggest worry was the upcoming chunin exams.
A savage sob racked through her, and then she was crying. The detachedness that'd left her comatose against the earth vanished in his arms with a violence.
Her hands lifted to fist on the back of Kakashi's vest as she pressed her forehead into him. Sakura sobbed into the next Hokage's chest, snot and tears leaking into his uniform. She knew she was out in the open for everyone to see. Knew that she was breaking the rules.
A shinobi must never show their tears during a mission. Rule #25. A shinobi must never show any weakness. Rule #32.
It was utterly unbefitting of her station. Commanders weren't supposed to break; a ninja wasn't supposed to care.
But how could she not care? "I—th-they—so many died, sensei!"
"That isn't on you." He patted her head with one hand while the other arm wrapped around her shoulders.
"Medical was my responsibility," she whispered. "S-Shino and the Mizukage—they're dead because of me...I failed."
Kakashi smoothed her hair before gently moving her back so he could look at her. He wiped under her eyes with the back of his knuckles. Placed his hand back atop her head as he leveled her with a serious gaze.
"You can't think that way."
"But it's true." Sakura leaned into him again. "My job was to keep them alive, but over half of our forces..."
She felt the way his lungs were hollow on the next breath. "It was my job to kill Obito, and see how long this conflict has gone on because I didn't?" His voice was shallow and controlled. "If I think the way you do, every death since that first battle is my fault. Everyone is dead because of me."
"That's—" Sakura still remembered Kakashi quiet on that medical bed, chained and expressionless. She couldn't lose him that way again. She wasn't whole enough to nurse him back into himself a second time. "No, sensei. None of this is your fault."
"Then it isn't your fault either."
She didn't respond.
Her heart squeezed like an orange being drained of juice. Her stomach bit into itself until she was gagging between tears. The grief, so far removed it seemed untouchable over the past few weeks, rose as a tsunami. Waves of it slammed against her, each stronger than the last, dragging her deeper.
The dead didn't have to deal with this kind of thing.
But the living had to shoulder all the pain that the dead left behind. The living had to keep going, so the dead weren't dead in vain. The dead never had to feel anything else, never had to lose anything more, never needed to uselessly beg God again. How was it fair?
Wasn't it easier to just die?
They both sat there on the frozen Lightning Country ground as the sun moved across the sky, hugging one another loosely, lost in themselves. Kakashi smoothed her hair as she drowned against him, his own hand shaking on her head.
.
.
She wasn't quite sure how or when it happened, but she seemed to be on a medical cot. She blinked as the tent ceiling swam into focus. Small, jarred firelights twinkled from draped strings. There was a steady snore to her left and quiet whispers to her right.
Then there was a hand on her forehead.
"How do you feel?" in Ino's softer tone.
Sakura's bleary gaze shifted at the sound, searching for her friend's pretty face. Ino's eyes were lined pink with a hint of tears, but she was breathing and whole, standing at her side. Sakura's chest tightened as she sat up to wrap her arms around Ino's waist. All she could manage was a slight nod against the woman's stomach.
"...Where are we?" Sakura asked, pulling back to examine the room. Shikamaru sat on the ground behind Ino, smoking a cigarette with his eyes closed. She looked over her shoulder— "Naruto!"
He was seated on a chair between her cot and another. His head was laid on the other cot, hand tangled with a delicate one that peeked out from beneath crisp white sheets. Her eyes followed up the slim arm into the tips of midnight hair. He was holding Hinata's hand, asleep on the other cot. A tight white bandage was wrapped around her head, covering her eyes.
Naruto jumped awake at his name, quickly wiping the drool from the side of his mouth as he turned to her with a warm smile.
"Sakura-chan, you're finally awake!" he said, his voice hushed. "Are you okay? I was worried, Kakashi carried you in here hours ago and you wouldn't stop crying—"
"Shut it, Naruto," Ino cut in. Her hand was in Sakura's hair, combing through the tangles.
"When did you get here? Were you in the battle?" Sakura hadn't sensed him at all—not until she'd gotten onto the temporary battle base and felt his chakra in medical.
"We were ambushed crossing the Fire and Wind border. Enemy reinforcements arrived as soon as they knew me and B were there...we never made it to the coordinate." His thumb skimmed Hinata's knuckles as he glanced at the sleeping woman. "A few of Madara's troops released a weird gas in the air. It got in Hinata's eyes and blinded her."
"Blinded?" gasped Sakura. "Let me look, I can—"
"You need to rest. You can look later," chided Ino. She'd sat on the cot's edge, and her voice dropped so low that Sakura could barely hear it sitting next to her. "And Hinata's slightly sedated...she didn't take the news about Shino well."
Sakura closed her eyes at his name. She knew he was gone, but hearing it spoken aloud by someone else felt like the nailing of his coffin.
"So he's...confirmed?" Sakura choked out.
"He's confirmed." Shikamaru echoed, releasing a heavy smoke cloud. "He never made it back. I don't know when it happened. I know he made it to the coordinate, but... No one knows anything else."
She already knew that. She'd spent hours searching for him; asked anyone who passed if they'd seen an Aburame in the battle. If that Aburame had worn a visor.
The five of them, cramped into this citrus-smelling medic tent, were all that was left of the Konoha 11. They'd never make jonin together. Never watch Tenten and Neji get married, or Shino take over his clan. Never again see Choji's massive wings or Sai's inky animals. They'd never have to duck behind another food cart to avoid Lee as he lapped around the town. The memories they had were all that they'd get. Arguments that would never settle and inside jokes that would never be spoken again wrapped around them in the silence.
The quiet was deafening. Ino gripped her bowed head. Shikamaru lit another cigarette, butts already littering the space to his left.
The shadows of the furniture flickered into featureless silhouettes as if her dead friends were rejecting the seance. Before, they'd come to her at the slightest provocation; now, they slunk around the recesses of her mind like a secret she'd swallowed down too many times.
A sunken pain filled her chest, so deep she could barely feel it—so deep she knew she'd never dig it out. What happened when there was no depth left to sink? Every loss whittled more out of her—but what of when nothing was left to carve?
Naruto sniffled at her side, startling her out of her thoughts. "I'm gonna miss that weird bastard."
The sentiment lifted the corners of Sakura's mouth and Shikamaru chuckled, smoke puffing from his nose like a dragon.
"He really changed in the past two years," said Ino. Her fingers dropped to mindlessly draw patterns against Sakura's thigh under the sheets. "It doesn't—this is gonna sound awful, but it feels less...real, you know? Like he's hiding out somewhere and is gonna show up soon. I keep waiting for him to walk in and say something strange like always."
Sakura nodded in agreement. Until there was a corpse to prove it, Shino could still be out there. If no one witnessed it, could someone ever really die? How did one reconcile with a death that had no closure?
The air felt so stiff it hurt to breathe. Gravity pressed upon her until all she could think of was the fragile mortality of everyone left that she loved, huddled in this barren, cold burlap tent.
"Screw it." Shikamaru stood and cracked his knuckles. "We're all here now. Let's get drunk for old times' sake while we can." Sakura's throat tightened at the callous way he said it. "I'll go sneak a bottle from the kitchens."
She fell back onto the cot. "Is that a good idea?"
It'd been ages since she drank alcohol. She was always expected for medical rounds or missions. She had to shoulder too much responsibility—she couldn't justify shirking her duties to forget the world for a few hours like her mentor.
Except, when she thought about it like that, wasn't that exactly what she was doing in Uzushiogakure?
"I vote yes," said Ino.
Sakura smirked, though her eyes watered with unshed tears. "You would."
"She would," Shikamaru agreed.
Naruto bent over Hinata with a sad grin and shook her gently. "Let's do it. We might not get this chance again until the war ends." His hopefulness didn't match the moment. "Sneak more than one...we'll send Shino and everyone else off properly today."
.
.
It was shockingly bright outside when she popped into Uzushiogakure. The fabric of the medical tents was thick enough to block out any light, so she hadn't realized it was the middle of the day. If she had the right mind, Sakura would've been ashamed of how she stumbled when she landed.
Sasuke stood some feet away, arms crossed as he scanned her with the sharingan. Her skin buzzed as his eyes moved across her. The red blinked away after a second.
"Is something wrong?"
"Yeah, everything is wrong. What a silly question, Sasuke! You're supposed to be smarter than that! Why are you asking? Is something wrong with you?"
He'd ported her to the outskirts of the village where the ruins bordered the overrun forest. Similar to Water Country and portions of forests in Lightning, the flora on this island retained its leaves through the bite of winter.
They hadn't yet trained in the trees, though Sakura hoped to convince him soon enough. Her style was best suited for that environment; lots of coverage, lots of things to punch and throw. She smiled as she searched the branches, thinking how much easier it'd be to beat Sasuke within them. The way his face would scrunch up in disbelief—or maybe anger—or maybe he'd—
"You were flaring the seal," he intoned.
"Huh?"
"I'm asking if something's wrong because you flared the seal."
Oh. "I just wanted you to meet me here," Sakura admitted readily, the liquor loosening her tongue. Her eyes met his again. "I wanted you to send for me."
Sasuke's brow shot up as he examined her again before stalking her way. His stare narrowed the closer he got until he stopped an arm's length away.
"…Are you drunk?"
"Kinda," she giggled. "We've been drinking for hours. The liquor in Lightning is terrible."
She'd forgotten how nice it was to drink. Everything seemed so irrelevant after a few shots. She didn't feel any emotion too strongly—no thought lasted long enough to hurt. Maybe her mentor had the right idea.
She giggled again at the way Sasuke's eyes didn't match. Like a house cat.
He sighed, his hand falling into place on his hip. "It's terrible, but you drank this much?"
"Shino died. We were sending him off." It came out easy as if relaying the news about a stranger. She spoke slowly so her words wouldn't sound jumbled and slurred. "We can't bury him so this is all we can do. We told stories about him and everyone else and if you cried you had to drink! It sounds depressing now that I explained it but if you were there you'd get it. Oh, Sasuke, did you know stray cats are amazing hunters? Like, some of the best."
He held her gaze, his own controlled and undecipherable.
"Who is we?"
"Naruto, Hinata, Shikamaru, Ino." She counted them off on her fingers. All her friends now fit on a single hand, though the realization didn't last long enough to sink in. "Hinata injured her eyes, so I worked on them a bit before I started drinking. The two of us drank way less than the other three. It was her teammate, though, so—"
"The Aburame?"
"Yeah. Shino. Do you not remember Shino? Really? He wore a visor—well, when you left, I guess he wore those gla—"
"How's your mind?" he interrupted.
She blinked as her words drifted from her thoughts, forgotten. Then she smiled and stepped closer.
"Better now that you're here, Sasuke. Come here!" He allowed her to pull him into an unreturned embrace. "I missed you," Sakura mumbled into his chest. He smelled of familiar firewood, but there was a hint of sweat beneath it. "What were you doing?"
"Don't do that with your seal for no reason again, Sakura. I thought you were in trouble."
He was back to ignoring her questions, though they'd spent so much time together now that she'd grown accustomed to it. The more pertinent fact was that he wasn't pushing her away—and she'd known that he wouldn't. Not when she was hurting.
He wouldn't push her away when she needed his comfort, anymore.
"We're in a war—I'm always in trouble!" She stood on her toes to angle up closer to his face. The liquid courage was riling her blood into a hot flush against her cheeks. "Give me a kiss!"
He sighed, finally pushing her back lightly with a loose grip on her shoulders. "While this is an improvement over a mental breakdown, you shouldn't be getting drunk right now. Things are escalating quickly."
"I know that. But the Allies aren't attacking the Fire coordinate for another five days. I'll be sober by then," she pouted. "I swear, I wasn't even gonna drink anymore today."
"Five days?" His mouth turned down. "How many troops?"
"If you give me a kiss, I'll tell you!"
"Sakura, don't play this game. How many troops?"
"It's just a kiss, Sasuke. We've kissed so many times…"
Fingers gripped her chin tightly the next second, tipping her head back to meet his lips. She wasn't prepared and it ended before she could return it. His right one was red when his eyes opened to hers a moment later, their faces mere inches apart.
"Tobi and I command over fourteen thousand troops on the Fire coordinate." His tone was a deep timbre. "How many are you bringing?"
She was breathless as she stared into his birthright. What was it like to be born with such power? To have that weight of expectation from birth? To be so unbelievably handsome?
What would it be like to have him this close every day?
"How many, Sakura?"
"A-as many as we can, probably," she stuttered, her cheeks pinking. "Well, I think. I don't know. I wasn't in the meeting."
She moved forward to capture his mouth again; though his fingers tightened on her jaw, he let himself be caught for a beat before leaning out of it. As if he were simply placating her. Or maybe humoring her.
"Why weren't you in the meeting?"
"I don't want to see Tsunade. You're asking so many questions today! I didn't come to chat! I'm here for other things." Peering up at him from under her lashes, she pouted. His fingers were hot. She wished they'd slide lower.
Sasuke smirked so discretely that she almost missed it. She would've missed it, if she were the Sakura from six months ago. Although, the Sasuke from six months ago may not have smirked in the first place.
The two of them from six months ago certainly wouldn't be here on this island together, alone.
"Not when you're drunk," he avowed.
"We already kissed! Just a bit more..."
His eye faded back to black; his fingers stayed put. "There's something I need you to do for me when the Allies attack."
"What is it?" Sakura asked, surprised.
Sasuke rarely asked anything of her. Rarely asked anything of anyone. He ordered her around, sure—but he'd never expected her to do something for him.
She wanted to say, 'For you, I'd even leave Konoha,' but the bright sun and her adept chakra were burning away the drink faster with every passing breath. Suddenly, she was keenly aware of how close they were. Her palms melded to the planes of his chest. Their sandaled toes were almost touching. The words she'd spoken only minutes before sunk into her sobering consciousness with heavy embarrassment.
"It'll come by note in two days, along with more information on my base. It...isn't something to share with the Kage."
Something that can't be shared with the Kage? "Does it have to do with the agreement?"
"Maybe. It…" His face betrayed his struggle. It was a new expression. Sasuke was always so sure and unshakable, yet before her now, his Adam's apple bobbed on a dry swallow and his brows furrowed in effort. "It's—clan information…Uchiha secrets. I—don't want anyone to know about it. Especially the Kage—especially the Hokage."
"But…you're telling me?"
He seemed to study her in the ensuing silence. The hand that'd been tight on her chin lowered to her neck. His fingers wrapped around it, the bottom of his palm barely touching the seal.
If any other shinobi in the world did this, she'd be terrified for her life. But his solid grip sent pleasurable shivers down her spine as he tugged her closer. His pointer finger skimmed her ear lobe. Then his hand was sliding around to the back of her head, tangling into her hair, cupping the nape of her neck.
If any other shinobi in the world did this, she'd call it a caress. But this was Sasuke Uchiha, who was pacted with devotion to her.
Was this what devotion looked like? Was this what it felt like? Warmth seeped through her bones until her blood felt boiling and the world around them turned hazy. Had she used the seal unknowingly to ask for this?
He leaned down, drawing her out of the confusion. And even though his mouth turned in a scowl on her lips as he said it—
"…Aa, I'm telling you."
.
.
Naruto was the only one awake when she returned to the medical tent. Shikamaru was slumped on the floor, his head leaned against her cot. Ino was on the cot, tucked under the blankets. Hinata was on her own cot, her eyes wrapped again, hand in hand with Naruto who sat faithfully in the chair by her bedside.
"How is she doing?" she quietly queried as she slid in next to Ino, moving the unconscious woman over to make room for herself.
"She lost her vision again after you left," Naruto replied. "Do you think you'll be able to heal her?"
Sakura paused, unsure whether to be honest or give him hope. "...I think so."
She hadn't stayed very long in Uzushiogakure, but the alcohol had already dried out of her system. The room was dark and cool, the Lightning Country humidity hanging in the air. A dull ache grew behind her eyes that only water and sleep could fix. The need for rest crept through her.
"I'm keeping her out of the war from now on. I don't care what Tsunade says," Naruto whispered, his voice hard and sad as he stared at Hinata's hand.
"I'll support whatever you two decide." She turned to face him, her arm resting under her head as a pillow. "Anything that keeps you both alive."
Naruto nodded. "I'll keep fighting. I won't sit around doing nothing anymore...but if her vision is impaired..." His voice trailed off. Then his gaze shifted to her. "You saw Sasuke just now, right?"
"Yeah, I went to tell him about the upcoming attack."
Only half a lie.
Admittedly, she'd mostly gone to see him and ensure he was safe. But Shikamaru had disclosed the Kage's plans an hour into their drinking session, and Sakura knew it was information Sasuke needed to know. It was as good an excuse as any, though she hadn't been as subtle about her true intentions as she'd planned when she got there.
She couldn't stop the blush blooming up her neck at the memory of her drunken behavior. How brashly she'd demanded a kiss. The way she'd pulled him into an embrace as if it wasn't the first time she'd ever done it.
"Are you okay with everything, Sakura?" Naruto asked, worry laced in the words. "No one will tell me much about what's going on between you and him, and if you don't want to tell me either you don't have to. But are you at least safe? Is he...being nice?"
Sakura shut her eyes with a smile. Naruto had matured. If it were genin Naruto, he'd be yelling about how unfair it was that he was left out. If it were pre-war Naruto, he would've demanded Sakura bring Sasuke back as soon as possible, ignoring any repercussions.
They were all changing. They'd never be those innocent kids again. There was no leaving this place unscarred. No leaving this battlefield, ever.
Sakura took a breath. "I'm…mostly safe."
Then she shared all the important things.
She described the agreement and the seal. The pacts within the covenant and how she could alert Sasuke or pass messages.
She explained how different Orochimaru was and how not-so-bad Suigetsu was. How she'd kicked his ass in Sangosho. Sasuke wasn't all that different the more she spent time with him, she admitted—he was still unnecessarily callous and distant. But he was teasingly funny too, sometimes, and he wasn't nearly as cold as he wanted to appear. She told Naruto about all that, and about Orochimaru's lab, and Sasuke's room, and Madara's base.
She expanded on the points he seemed interested in, like how Sasuke interacted with Suigetsu and Orochimaru. They laughed at how the old snake only ever made half-sense, and Sasuke keeping the flower scratchings on the wall by his pillow.
But even with Naruto, there were things she wouldn't ever share. The rough calluses on Sasuke's hands, or the fullness of his bottom lip. The shade of his eyes when they caught in the sun; the tone of his voice in the dark of a room. The earthy smell of hemlock that clung to his skin and the warmth of his body between her legs. How the shadow of stubble on his jaw took two days to appear, though Sasuke preferred to shave it every four.
And there were things she couldn't bear to share, like how sometimes if she was left alone too long in that empty enemy cave, she'd collapse into a panic attack. How she almost sort of liked Orochimaru and nearly kind of trusted Suigetsu. How Sai had died—how she couldn't really recall it outside of nightmares or sudden flashbacks.
That she'd been meeting with Sasuke in Naruto's mother's decimated birthplace, destroying it more with every spar.
But there was one thing she could only admit to Naruto—something only Team Seven would understand.
"I—" Her throat closed on the words. She took a deep breath, "I-I'm in love with him, Naruto."
She gazed into the crisp blue of her teammate's irises. He'd been listening in complete rapture through her entire tale. The admission seemed to glide over him like a breeze.
He smiled, though it barely reached his eyes. "You were never not in love with him." He turned back to Hinata, reaching out to brush her bangs off the bandages. "Even though he never deserved you. Damn, I have so many things I wanna say to him. I'm angry but also happy…it's so confusing. I can't wait to kick his ass and treat him to ramen!" He chuckled softly, resting his chin on the cot, staring at his girlfriend's sleeping face. "You should've seen how I lost it when I heard he was alive, Sakura… If Hinata hadn't been there, I might've really blown the base's cover. But when I heard he was working with us after that, I wasn't even surprised. I always knew he'd come back to us, you know? I always knew if Sasuke survived this war he'd come back."
Was…was that what he heard in her story?
His words seeped in, a dread sinking through her pores, and she closed her eyes with a sigh. Is that how she explained it? Had she described Sasuke as if he'd return?
Orochimaru's strange chuckle bounced around her skull.
She flipped over to face Ino; to turn away from Naruto and his stomach-turning optimism. "I'm not so sure he's back."
.
.
The Allies were mobilizing three-fourths of their entire army. It amounted to about 30,000 troops.
The plan was to hit the Fire coordinate hard, destroy it quickly, and immediately move on to the final coordinate in Earth Country. Their second assault would have far less preparation and potentially far fewer troops—but battle command hoped it would catch the enemy by surprise since the Allies had never attempted back-to-back attacks.
The Kage were ready to end it. Once all the rooms cultivating Hashirama's cells were destroyed, the Allies needed only to wait out Madara's failing body.
Chojuro unofficially assumed the position of Mizukage, though without any real power. The death of Mei forced the Kage to rethink their decision to rejoin the fight. It was agreed that one Kage should remain out, just in case. Even though Iwa, Konoha, and Kumo had extremely competent successors to the Kage title, the army would likely fall apart without at least one original Kage.
Thus, it was decided that Gaara would remain in Lightning and command from safety on base since, like Mei, he'd yet to train anyone to take over his position.
The Kage and top commanders spent the first day drilling down to each shinobi who would be in which battalion, company, platoon, and squad. They outlined chains of command for each position and who would take over if someone died. Planned attack and movement routes.
The coordinate was only a few miles north of Konoha. Tsunade, Kakashi, and Shikamaru poured over Allied positions and tactical advantages they could find within the familiar landscape.
Sakura spent the next day with her vast medical company, blueprinting field medical. She coached the medics on which injuries Healing Ground could take care of on its own and how far they needed to heal severe wounds before Healing Ground would work. She chose runners and assigned younger, inexperienced medics as helpers to those she knew were talented. Designated Shizune as her second-in-command.
Then she ordered her entire company, over 300 strong, to make as many soldier pills as possible.
She and C coordinated base medical that afternoon. He'd be in charge of it under her, as with an army so large Tsunade would need to be on the field helping Sakura maintain Katsuyu. It'd be impossible for her to sustain the summon for 30,000 shinobi on her own.
Sasuke's bird came with two notes on that second day, on the hour.
She reported to the Kazekage the intelligence on the first. Sasuke provided numbers, positions, weak points in the enemy formation, and the correct release to enter the room. He warned that Madara was well enough to fight and could make it to the coordinate within three hours of the first contact between the two armies.
The Allies couldn't afford a second debacle. This attack had to be flawless and quick. If they couldn't destroy the room before Madara arrived, there was a high probability they'd lose most of their army.
The second note was for her. Something Sasuke meant only for her. The first time he'd ever relied on her—that he'd ever openly acknowledged she was capable in his eyes.
A shrine is in the center of the Uchiha compound.
Look under the seventh tatami mat from the right.
A slab marked with a three-tomoe sharingan.
Perform the hand signs below to open it.
There are stone monuments in the room beneath.
Rub the etchings on the one marked with a crow.
She memorized the thirteen hand signs at the bottom before holding the paper over a candle in her tent later that evening. The flames licked up its edges until it disintegrated into ash.
He'd left no hint what the rubbing was or why she needed to retrieve it. She didn't know if it was something he needed because of the war, or simply something he wanted because it was from his clan.
No matter how she looked at it, his request was dangerous. For her, should she be caught, and for her army if they lost their medical commander. In order to get to the Uchiha compound, she'd have to leave her position in base medical and potentially the fight entirely. If the battle expanded out into what was once Konoha, she'd have to find a way to sneak into the compound unnoticed in the chaos.
With no room for error in this battle, it was a request that ought to be ignored. Sakura held too prominent a position to abandon her duty in the middle of battle. It went against every shinobi code and all common sense.
He was a bingo book criminal-turned-ally, and the descendants of his clan were the perpetrators of this world war.
It was a risk the Kage would never permit her to take.
She dusted the ash off the chabudai. The seal hummed on her neck as she tapped on it with her own chakra, and she wondered if Sasuke could feel it. She wondered what his requesting this of her meant—if it meant anything at all.
If he knew that it meant something to her.
It was a risk she'd take for Sasuke Uchiha a hundred times over.
annnnyyway, enjoy!
please leave a comment so I can smile :D
thanks to my beta-reader Leech!
this chapter was the longest of the story so far, fun fact :)
have a good week!