Trigger warning for suicide on this chapter.
It's hard when there's no way to give warning tags on ffnet :(
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Covenant
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Synopsis: Everyone is dead or hunted. The Allies lost. The war is over.
Treacherous seal marring her neck as a collar, Madara parades her like a victory trophy.
And though he gave her to his patriarch—betrayed her in the worst of ways—
Here, in The End, Sasuke Uchiha is all Sakura has left.
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2:17. Plans
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AS THE meal came to an end and Madara left the dining hall early, Sakura leaned closer to the man next to her.
"Sasuke."
He glanced over, surprise flitting across his brow. She could guess why—she never spoke unless spoken to during these feasts.
When the initial shock wore off, his eyes darted around the room, scanning for any eavesdroppers. Half the attendees had already cleared out. Those left were pulling flasks from their robes, voices and laughter rising with every swig. Oblivious to the two of them in the far corner of the room.
Except for Suigetsu, who watched them with a small grin.
"What is it?" prompted Sasuke.
"The other night, you said we're visiting your base again soon?"
"Aa… The day after tomorrow." Why?
She kept her mind loosely guarded, protecting the parts that might alert him. Sasuke rarely tried to read her mind and was quite obvious about his rummaging when he did. So long as she concentrated on the barrier and he wasn't listening too closely, she'd learned she could hide anything not thought too loudly and anything that wasn't directly about him.
Will you be taking my suppressors off this time?
After a brief hesitation, Sasuke turned to the last of his food. Madara might ask for that, yes. He's eager to see if your skill can fix his condition. We'll come up with a plan for it tonight… Good catch.
His praise nearly made her feel guilty. Do you think you can get me some more soldier pills before we go?
What for? You won't be using Hundred Healings.
Lately, he hovered around her like an imprinted duckling. She couldn't breathe wrong without him noticing. For her plan to have any hope of success, she needed space. He needed to go somewhere he couldn't drag her along with him—preferably somewhere off base.
Sakura still wasn't sure where he went when he left to train and came back with soldier pills, but she'd deduced from the muteness of the seal while he was gone and his drained reserves upon his return that it was far from any would-be watchers. Far enough that it would surely give her the few minutes she needed.
Of course, she couldn't tell him any of that.
If I have to pretend that I can't heal him, I'd feel more comfortable with a filled byakugou. I want as much usage time stored up as I can get in the event things take a wrong turn… You haven't brought me any pills recently. Are there no more?
There are more. His narrowed gaze searched hers, suspicion brewing. I won't let him do anything to you. You don't need to be afraid.
He let Madara do plenty to her, every day. It was almost comical that he said such a thing—that he thought she might be afraid of something new after all this time and torture.
So comical that it almost made her angry.
But none of it mattered anymore, so she swallowed it down. I'm not afraid. I just want my seal as strong as possible should something happen.
His consciousness pressed into her thoughts a moment later, trying to read them. She readily offered him misdirections.
Her disgust with this feast and its meaning. The bitter memory of his lightning striking down Genma and Iyashi. Her exhaustion with life. The indignation of him asking her to heal the man responsible for it. A reminder that he'd promised to let her go if she listened and cooperated with him.
Just enough to placate him so he wouldn't look any deeper.
Sasuke withdrew from her mind. Alright, he acquiesced. I'll go train tonight and see how many I can get on my way back.
More than twenty would be good, she offered emptily.
Twenty—fifty—none—it wouldn't matter to a dead woman. More were likely to take him longer to gather than less, though.
"Suigetsu, are you staying in the tents with the other guards?" Sasuke asked aloud.
"Mm? Yeah." Suigetsu scowled. "The undead bastard wouldn't give me a room. Why?"
"Watch your mouth."
"Apologies, Uchiha-sama."
Sasuke stood, brushing off the snark. "Bring the medic there when you're done eating." Pivoting away, he strode towards the doors. Shinobi still in the dining hall ducked their heads as he moved past their tables.
Observing him play his different roles now was disconcerting. The Sasuke he showed Madara's army was nothing like the one she got behind closed doors. The juxtaposition of it gave her heartburn; reconciling the two was impossible.
But it wouldn't be her problem much longer.
Although with him gone, so went her shield. Those many eyes that had dutifully avoided her all evening were suddenly veering in her direction. Without Sasuke beside her, she had no one to hide behind. She pulled the deep hood of the vile Akatsuki cloak over herself and ducked her head down.
After a few minutes, Suigetsu downed the rest of his flask in one go and groaned, walking around the end of the table to her side. "He could've taken you himself. What a waste of my time. Let's go, prisoner." He tugged her up by her upper arm. "What's gotten into him?" he added under his breath.
Shrugging, she let him guide her past the sea of stares and out of the base.
The distance to the tent camp was long enough that Suigetsu hiked her on his back as soon as they were above ground and ran them the rest of the way there.
She soaked in the evening sights of her home country as they zipped by—sights she'd been deprived of on their way here. Tall, leafy trees towered over them. Soft grass clothed the ground below. A waxing moon peeked down between the branches.
Here, in Fire's forest, Sakura almost felt like she could breathe.
The nostalgia nearly made her cry again; this time, she held it in.
This would be her last memory. She shouldn't taint it with tears. At least at the end, she ought to greet this place with a warm goodbye.
Tonight, she would die here on the land that raised her—so few had that honor over the last five years. It'd be nothing but an insult to them if she kept crying over coming home one last time.
She wondered if Ino was here too, somewhere nearby. Looking up into the same night sky.
She wondered if Ino would forgive her for this.
They reached the guards' camp within minutes. Crammed between the trees, the tents fit into the forest where they could. A fire was already burning near the middle. Suigetsu made two quick hand signs before venturing close, which told her someone probably layered a protective genjutsu around the perimeter.
Someone who was probably Sasuke, who had probably left before them to erect it without distraction.
He and Kahyo were talking by the campfire when she and Suigetsu arrived. A strange emotion reared within her at the innocent scene, one she pushed back down and refused to name. Kahyo bowed to the Uchiha heir as Suigetsu dropped her on her feet. Without any greeting their way, Kahyo disappeared into one of the tents.
Sakura rarely saw Kahyo outside of Madara's mandatory base-wide meetings anymore. Since Madara restarted the interrogations, Sasuke hadn't once left her in the kunoichi's care. She hadn't attended any feasts past the first couple in Lightning Country and opted to stay in her tent rather than mingle when the group camped overnight.
Of all her guards, Kahyo was the most misplaced. Sakura wondered what she was doing in Madara's army at all.
Though there wasn't anywhere left for the woman to go now, anyway.
What had Sasuke been talking to her about?
As soon as the question flew through her mind, Sasuke smirked. About how I'm going to train, and that she should help Suigetsu with guarding you.
She didn't deign his intrusive answer with a response, crossing her arms with a hushed tsk instead.
"So?" Suigetsu's pinky was in his ear. "What's up, bossman?"
"Which tent's yours?" asked Sasuke.
Suigetsu pointed across the fire. "That one."
Sasuke made his way to it, lifting the flap and peeking in. It was smaller than the one she and Sasuke shared before they moved into the base bedrooms, but otherwise unremarkable.
Huffing with irritation, Suigetsu stalked over and tore the burlap from Sasuke's hand. "Seriously? Spying on my space now? Even for you, that's—"
"Let her sit in there while I go train."
Suigetsu frowned. "Can't she stay in Kahyo's tent? I told you before, Kahyo's cool—"
"Do as I say." The sharp order had Suigetsu pursing his lips. Sasuke waved her over. "Come here, Sakura."
She listened, ignoring how Suigetsu grumbled as she swept by him. Sasuke entered behind her, barking at Suigetsu not to follow them in.
"But it's my tent," he whined as the opening swung shut.
Sakura inspected the space, eyes landing on the small sleeping mat in the back. After a quick deliberation, she sat on the grass opposite it.
Better not to dirty something she didn't need to.
"Sakura."
She peered up at him. "Yes?"
The tent had no light; he was hidden in shadows. And though she'd memorized every plane of his face and the curve of his lashes and the marks on his skin such that she could picture the exact expression he was gazing at her with by his tone alone—she suddenly wished she could see him.
"The other guards were drinking when we left the dining hall. Don't leave this tent until I come back."
"Alright."
Despite shifting around on his feet unnaturally, he made no move to leave. Her brow raised.
"Something wrong?" she asked.
"No… Well. About earlier. Those captives from Konoha… I should've—"
Irritation spiking, she cut him off. "Genma and Iyashi."
"...Aa. Genma and Iyashi. You were right. I recognized Genma, and I—should've warned you."
Oh? She stared at his silhouette, mouth slightly agape. Sasuke had apologized dozens of times in the past few weeks. This, however, felt…different.
"I thought if I said something too early, you might have a panic attack before Madara arrived. Then I couldn't decide when to say it." He knelt, elbows on his knees and hands clasped in front of him. Eyes red and purple in the dark as he studied her. "I'm sorry."
Sakura felt her throat tighten at his sincerity; she leaned away, sights falling to his feet. "It—doesn't matter. It wouldn't have changed anything."
"Still. I'm sorry you had to watch me kill them."
"Even if I didn't watch—"
"That I had to kill them at all, then." The pause they lapsed into was stifling. Sakura searched his posture, anxiety brewing in her belly. His voice was quiet as a breeze when he continued. "...You know, before the war, I used to forbid Taka from killing anyone. I didn't kill anyone myself except a few samurai. Deidara and Danzo killed themselves before I could. Even Itachi fell because of his illness…I would've lost our fight if he was at full strength."
The mention of suicide had her gulping back a growing lump.
"...Why are you telling me all this, Sasuke?"
"I don't know. Since we arrived back in Fire, the seal's been…" Hand lifting between them, he tapped her diamond gently. "Anyway. It just felt like I should say something. This will be over soon, Sakura, so stay with me until then."
Her vision widened; she tried to keep her breathing even. Had he heard her thoughts? Did he suspect something?
Had she blown her chance?
When had she given anything away? She'd been careful since the feast—he hadn't found anything when he searched her thoughts earlier—hadn't once looked down to her sleeve.
If she messed up here, he'd never grant her any freedom again.
But then he was straightening and stepping out of the tent. "I'll be back in a few hours," he threw over his shoulder. The burlap closed between them, muffling Sasuke's voice—"Don't go in there unless she calls."
"Sir, yes sir," Suigetsu drawled, a smirk heavy on his tone.
A second later, the seal went cold.
Bewildered and frozen, Sakura stared at the opening. Twenty minutes must've ticked by before she let herself think.
…He'd truly left her alone.
She couldn't believe it worked. She thought she'd have to try her luck more than once. Thought that convincing him to get her more soldier pills would be a week-long process. Was already dreading trying to hide the butter knife for any amount of time under Sasuke's scrutiny.
But it'd only taken a single nudge.
Was it his guilt over what happened today? That was the only explanation she could devise for how quickly he agreed to do as she asked. Except that, after killing so many, Sakura found it hard to trust that he was genuinely remorseful over two Konoha shinobi he barely knew.
This man killed Sai. He'd killed Tsunade, for Gods' sake; had said he'd do it a hundred times over, in fact.
Maybe she was missing something.
She mulled it over for a moment before setting it aside. The reasons no longer mattered.
Pulling the silverware from her sleeve, she held it up for a quick appraisal. Sasuke's dojutsu seemed to glint back at her on its smooth, metal surface. Sakura closed her eyes with a shaky sigh.
Even in the end, there was no escaping him.
Madara might kill him for this. Once they found her body, Sasuke might find his grave in the same tent. She was his ward, after all. Her successful suicide would likely fall on his shoulders.
Still, it was a risk she was willing to take—because Madara would most certainly kill Sasuke once he toed too far out of line, or Madara lost his patience, whichever came first. Even though his slips were small, he'd already shown his patriarch too much to avoid such an ending.
Sasuke was smart and cunning enough to maneuver his way into surviving her suicide. He was strong enough to put up a fight against Madara if he knew it was coming.
But the way he kissed her so slowly the earth might've spun faster—the depth of his gaze as she begged him to let her finish—the softness of his arms when he cushioned her to sleep—the pulsing of their seal when he laid beside her. All of these things told her that no amount of clever intelligence could save Sasuke once Madara deemed him too compromised.
One day, Sasuke may very well take Madara's life and position. So long as she remained sealed to him, however, he'd never survive Madara's authority long enough to do it.
She didn't know what would happen with the covenant seal if she died. But Orochimaru placed it, despite his fate of ensuring Sasuke's survival; this assured Sakura that her death likely wouldn't kill him. How much it might hurt to sever it so abruptly, if he could ever have the seal removed without the other party, what lingering pain he might feel from a broken juinjutsu—these were questions she had to leave to chance.
Despite everything, she didn't want to hurt Sasuke.
Despite everything, she loved him. She'd always loved him. Even when she was so angry with him, she convinced herself otherwise. Even though she was so tired.
This was all she could do for him, broken and empty as she'd become. Take herself out of the picture. Pray that he'd survive the fallout.
They were never making it out of Madara's clutches alive together.
She examined the dull tableware again. It was hardly a weapon. With no sharp end and access to only a minuscule amount of chakra, the places it could be effective were minimal. If she had no medical knowledge, it might've been an impossible task.
The seal would alert Sasuke as soon as she caused any real damage to herself. Depending on how far away he was and if he'd set a tag outside before he left, she had a very narrow timeframe once she made the first puncture.
Her first attempt had to be precise and lethal. She wouldn't get two shots.
That meant she needed to go for an artery. Armed with only a butter knife, there were really only two viable options. The carotid would be faster, but restricted in chakra and without a mirror, it'd be challenging to hit right; stabbing into the femoral would be a slightly slower death, though she could ensure a precise puncture on the first go.
She'd need only two or three minutes if she aimed well and cut deep. Five at most.
Accuracy was probably most important in this scenario.
The femoral artery it was, then.
Pushing up onto her knees, Sakura shoved her slacks down off her waist, exposing her underwear. Then she sat back down with her legs out straight, pulled the bottom of her shirt out of the way, and gripped the dull knife in a tight fist.
For half a breath, she wondered what people were supposed to feel in this sort of moment. What emotion someone who wasn't drowning in calmative might experience at the edge of a cliff.
Suicide was the incurable sickness of shinobi life—the unspoken killer that swept through all ranks. There were countless reasons for it. One who might be forced to betray their village was expected to do it. It was a common consequence of too many losses—the unbearable weight of too much blood on one's hands. For someone seeking to leave the life of a ninja, it was the only inevitable end.
What did that say about the shinobi world?
They existed to maintain peace, yet they lived in a world full of violence.
She grinned shallowly at her own thoughts. Even in its last minutes, it seemed her mind only wished to contemplate philosophy.
Maybe in her next life, she'd be allowed to be the person she might've become if the war hadn't fallen upon her—a true intellectual. There hadn't been time for Sakura to be that person in this life. She'd had to be a medic, and then she had to be a box of secrets sealed tightly shut.
But some civilians said suicide barred one's soul from ever meeting the Gods. They said only a God could guide one into the next life.
If that were true, she was fine with this being her last.
Why would she want to meet the Gods? What had the Gods ever done for her? What prayer had they answered? Of those she loved, who had they saved? When had they last even looked her way?
They were probably laughing at her, even now.
If the Gods were real—they were far more cruel and sadistic than any human. She didn't care to meet the Gods.
So long as she could meet Tsunade, and Naruto, and Sai. Shino, Tenten, Choji, Kiba, Lee, Neji. Anyone else she loved who'd died in these months without her knowing. All those she'd had to confront in Madara's bases and those she'd let down during the war. If these people were waiting for her where ever the Gods weren't—that would be enough.
If she could watch over them in their next lives, that would be more than enough.
This one was over. For them, and for her.
And even though he couldn't hear her, she made sure her final thought was for Sasuke. Just in case the Gods were real. In case they were watching this very moment. Maybe they'd finally pity a death and grant him protection as repayment for all they'd allowed.
I'm sorry, Sasuke.
Exhaling, she aimed the tip of the butter knife at a spot just below her groin and stabbed down. Her jaw clenched on the pain; an involuntary response had her strength flinching back as it pierced her skin. It cost her the smallest shred of an inch—enough that the knife missed severing the whole artery, slicing through only half of it instead. She twisted it to widen the opening.
It wouldn't cause much difference in time, but every second counted when her opponent was one of the fastest shinobi on earth.
His response was immediate. Shock leaked out of the seal as it burst into a fire on her neck. Sakura yanked the makeshift weapon out of her, blood spewing from her leg like a guiser.
SAKURA!
Even if she wanted to, she had no chakra to respond to him when so far away. Shame crawled through her at the tone her name took in his cry.
The drastic, sudden change in blood pressure was already making her head swim. It would take a little over three minutes, she calculated, with the angle of her puncture and the speed at which she was draining.
Not even Sasuke could get here in three minutes.
A peacefulness washed over her. Ghosts hazed into form in the dark. She shut her eyes, ready to let the exhaustion take her.
Then the air in the tent was buzzing and swirling like Kakashi's kamui as a hole materialized out of nowhere, gaping into existence. Sakura blinked against the stars in her vision, certain she was hallucinating.
Kakashi couldn't be here.
Kakashi was probably dead.
And how could Kakashi know to come at this exact moment? How could he come into a tent he'd never seen? How would he know she was here?
"SAKURA! Where are—" Sasuke lept through the portal, falling to her side in half a second, panic on his face. His green hands flew to her gushing wound. "What happened?! Were you attacked?"
Tugging weakly at his arms, she tried to stop him. He wasn't skilled enough to save her—with such a fatal injury, he wouldn't be able to heal it faster than she'd bleed out. But he could make her death longer than necessary.
"Leave it," she mumbled. "Stop trying—"
"Don't say it!" he raged, gaze wild as it swept over the bloody butter knife beside her. "Don't tell me—SUIGETSU! KAHYO!"
Both shinobi were in the tent in an instant, stares wide as they took in the scene.
"Do something!" shouted Sasuke.
"I—have no skill in the healing jutsu, Sasuke-sama," Kahyo replied calmly, already having regained composure.
"Set a port. I'll get a medic." Suigetsu body-flickered out of the tent.
Kahyo popped out a piece of coal and parchment from her wrist, scribbling something on it before tossing it in the corner of the tent. Pointing to the ceiling, she sent a burst of chakra toward the unlit firelight hanging there.
Bathed in flickering illumination, her blood loss was so much worse. Between her waist and knees was nothing but a crimson lake. Her hands were soaked. Sasuke's hands were soaked.
He was pressing hard into the injury to slow the blood flow, trying futilely to seal it shut.
Sakura—you can't do this. You said you'd give me time! You can't—
Just stop, she thought, her mind tumbling away. Let me go.
"NO!"
"Sasuke-sama, if you take her suppressors off, her chakra will—"
"Are you blind?! She did this to herself! With chakra, she'd just—" Something like a growl ended his own sentence. Sakura had never heard Sasuke sound like this. She'd never seen this look on his face. "If you can't heal her, get the fuck out."
"You should burn the wound shut if you can't heal it," Kayho pointed out, ignoring the order. "There's too much blood. Once the medic comes, they can—"
"I can seal it without—"
The kunoichi knelt beside him. "If you allow me, I could—"
"Back off!" he roared as Kahyo's hand neared her groin. "I fucking told you to leave!"
Palms up in a show of trust, she leaned back on her heels and tried again. "With my kekkei genkai, I can freeze the blood at the opening to stop the bleeding until a medic arrives if you can't bring yourself to burn her. But depending on the skill of the medic Hozuki finds, it might cause more permanent damage than cauterizing would."
Sakura was barely keeping her eyes open. Sasuke was just a dark, shapeless phantom before her.
Everything Kahyo said was right. Although the woman couldn't heal, she clearly had knowledge of battlefield medical techniques. But—it didn't matter. A strange serenity now fully swathed her, and the world appeared both brighter and darker, and she knew—
It was already too late.
No matter what Sasuke decided to do, it'd already been over two minutes. She was definitely going to—
"Don't you dare." Sasuke's hands were shaking. "Shit...! Kahyo, if you kill her—"
"I don't wish to see Haruno die any more than you do."
"Then do it—now!"
Something bit into her groin. Sakura cried out at the pain of it—like she'd been tethered by the soul and dragged back down to earth.
Straining to stay conscious, she looked at her leg. Blood was crystallized around the injury. The skin touching the red ice was already blackening from its contact with the unnaturally freezing temperature.
"S-stop—" Her pleading gaze fell upon Kahyo; the woman's irises were now completely white, almost like the byakugan, cut down the middle by a single blue line.
"You're not fucking dying!" Sasuke yelled. "Stop talking, save your energy!"
Her mind was mush; but even through the haze, Sakura knew she hadn't wanted to hurt him. It wasn't her intention to cause this expression he wore.
She hadn't meant to make him cry.
Forgive me.
"I won't. If you die, Sakura, I won't forgive you."
He was still trying to heal the artery under the temporary freeze. His effort was commendable.
Still… It was probably too late.
"It's NOT—"
Sakura closed her eyes.
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...She wasn't dead.
Nor was she hurt. There was no pain in her right leg. No ache of blood loss in her veins.
She wasn't even dirty—every inhale smelled of soap and shampoo.
Tears filled her eyes when she opened them. Sasuke sat cross-legged beside her, face empty as he studied her.
Now back inside the base, she lay on a cushioned sleeping mat in an empty cave bedroom that undoubtedly belonged to Madara. One torch attached to the wall near the far corner lit the space, casting shadows in eerie angles.
"Suigetsu killed the medic that healed you."
Of course, that's what he led with.
Head falling to the side, she glared at him directly. "...Why?"
"So news of what happened won't get out."
"And why do you feel the need to tell me this as soon as I wake up?" she snapped, hot liquid rolling down her temple and dripping off the bridge of her nose.
"Because it's painfully obvious you don't grasp the situation at all, Sakura." The stillness of him was terrifying. If they weren't sealed, subjecting her to his violent current underneath, she'd think he held no emotion at all in this moment. "Do you truly think you can kill yourself and leave this world cleanly? Have you any idea how many people would've died if you'd succeeded?"
The accusation broke the dam of apathy in one clean blow.
"Gods—just stop! I can't do this anymore! I can't fucking do it! How many times will you make me say it?!" She lurched from the bed, lunging for him. Shoving against his shoulders as hard as she could without chakra. "I hate—I fucking hate all of this—I can't take it! Why are you doing this to me?! How much longer do I have to wait?! WHAT ARE YOU KEEPING ME HERE FOR? If you cared at all, if you felt anything for me, you wouldn't have healed me!"
Sasuke grasped both of her wrists. "You're asking things that I can't answer." He guided her arms around his waist and to his back before letting go. Leaving her half-hugging him. One of his hands pulled her head into his chest while the other landed on the small of her back.
"This isn't fair," she sobbed, aware that he was using physical contact to console and appease her. Cognizant that it would work. "I don't want to do this anymore. I can't watch anyone else die, Sasuke. I can't take any more torture. I can't do it. I can't."
"I know it isn't fair. You should never have come here," he murmured.
There was nothing else to say. Nothing else to do. He wasn't going to let her go. Perhaps he never planned to, even though he'd promised.
Sakura fell into his embrace and wept.
She hadn't succeeded.
Sasuke would never give her another opportunity like that again. Until he allowed it or Madara killed her, she would live on in this hellscape forever. That was her fate. The greatest medic of her generation couldn't even kill herself. A joke. A failure.
Like everything else: She'd failed. She'd always failed from the very start.
As she cried, Sasuke smoothed her hair and rubbed her back, hiding the rage he felt simmering beneath the surface so well that his touch was gentle as spring. The contradiction reminded her that he'd been the one crying when she lost consciousness.
That mental image was enough to sober her.
When her eyes finally dried out, she quietly asked, "How long has it been?"
"A few hours. It's not yet morning."
A few hours. All she'd managed was to knock herself out for a few hours and get a medic murdered.
When she lost consciousness, she was certain she'd die. The amount of blood she'd lost should've been fatal, even with Kahyo's dangerous effort to stop it.
"How am I alive?"
Fingers flinching, Sasuke rested his chin on top of her head and exhaled. "...The medic arrived as you passed out. After stabilizing the injury, he left to get blood for a transfusion. Kahyo said she could explain the procedure, so Suigetsu killed him when he returned and I performed it. Your chakra finished what was missed…I removed the suppressors for an hour when I was sure you wouldn't wake up."
She took in the story with only half a mind. The other half was dissecting how strangely dissociative this all was.
Here she sat in Sasuke's lap, discussing her suicide attempt with him as if asking how the weather was. As if she hadn't stabbed herself with a kitchen utensil and he hadn't screamed over her bleeding body that he wouldn't forgive her.
As if this was a normal thing for two normal people to talk about in the middle of the night.
Equally strange was how he wasn't icing her out for what she'd done or ruthlessly tearing into her for the mental break. The Sasuke she was sealed to a year ago might not have spoken to her for months after something like this. Would've probably sent her back to the Allies with a demand notice for a new contact.
Might've just let her die.
"How did the medic know my blood type?"
"I knew it," he corrected.
She scoffed into his neck. "Don't lie—how'd he know?"
"I'm not lying." His hand slid to rest over where she'd nearly bled out. "You're alive, aren't you?"
"Uh huh. Then what is it?"
His response was instant. "O negative."
Her brows shot up. "How'd you know that?"
"We were on the same team, Sakura." He said it like scolding a child.
It was true that knowing your teammates' blood type was a basic requirement of all Konoha squads…but hearing Sasuke admit he still remembered it was startling.
Memories that weren't hers wafted into her mind as if responding to her shock.
Profile cards on Team Seven.
Staring down at her 12-year-old self laying in a medical cot, machines beeping in the background. A bag of crimson liquid labeled 'O Negative' filling up beside her.
Kakashi slurping noodles down at Ichiraku, saying something about how he keeps bags of blood in his sealing papers with Sakura's blood type, just in case—how it's lucky for the team that Sakura's a universal donor, but it's a difficult type to find should she ever need it.
Seeing herself and hearing herself talked about through the lens of someone else's recollection had her cringing. She thrust his thoughts away before she could see anything more.
"I thought you disliked me back then."
His chest rumbled with a suppressed chuckle. "You were a bit annoying sometimes."
Scowling, she tilted out of his hold to glare at him. "And you were a bit of an asshole sometimes."
"Some things never change," he agreed with a nod.
Everything about this situation—the absolute absurdity—made her want to laugh. Had it really only been a few hours since she almost died? It already felt like a lifetime ago.
"...Was that a joke?" She was surely going insane. No one right in the head would be having a calm walk down memory lane hours after slicing their own artery with a butter knife. With the man who'd found her like that, no less. "You still have awful timing..."
"I told you before, Uchiha don't joke."
A hush settled upon them after that, one in which he made no move to push her off his lap and she had no energy to be anywhere but in his comfort.
It was over for her. Even now, mere hours after completely losing her mind, she was letting him turn them back into just a woman, with just a man.
Being held by Sasuke was one of the great wonders of the world.
And even though she didn't want to be comforted, it was comforting. And she didn't want to feel good, but he still did. His blood pulsed against her, her own syncing with its rhythm mutinously.
He was so warm and solid. His arms rested firmly around her body, sheltering her in. The seal hummed its approval each time hot air from his exhales fanned the crown of her head.
Sasuke Uchiha was, once again, dragging her back and shackling her to this world—even though he was half-responsible for most of the reasons she wanted to leave it. Even though he was only playing a part. Even though he was kind to her in the end, comforting her when she needed it, despite no pact or obligation binding him to such solace.
Her heart beat treasonably fast and healthy, though she'd tried to stop it altogether only hours ago.
After what felt like forever but was probably no more than ten minutes, she broke the silence. "How did you get into the tent? Was that kamui?"
The question seemed to make him uncomfortable. He nudged her away, pressing down on her shoulders as if encouraging her to lie down. Obeying, she scooted back and settled onto the sleeping mat. Sasuke followed, placing himself between her and the door. Laying so he was facing her.
If she wanted, she was confident he would let her back in his arms to sleep. For now, however, it was nice to have his attention in this space between them, too.
She hated how easily she acknowledged that.
"Aa, it was. I can—" He hesitated, volume dropping like he feared someone else in the empty room might hear. "Use it to teleport anywhere I've seen with my sharingan before."
These are Uchiha secrets, he mentally warned.
She knew he meant that she better not repeat this to anyone. He'd given her the speech enough times to know. Sakura had no clue who he worried about her telling in the first place.
"I thought only Obito and—sensei could use that."
If he noticed the crack of her voice, he didn't show it. "The Rinnegan allows me to learn the jutsu of other sharingan so long as there's a scroll on the technique." That's also a secret.
Okay, okay… "So Madara can use them all, too?"
"Theoretically. Although his body hasn't been able to handle the drain of using a non-inherited technique in years."
"I see."
After a beat, Sasuke closed his eyes. "...Don't do this again, Sakura. Just as you have things you can't handle, so do I."
She could act like she didn't catch the sudden change back to the topic at hand. Could pretend that she didn't know what he meant. That she didn't know the trauma of his past and the things he dreamt of every night.
She could feign like she hadn't seen his tears before fading into the dark and hadn't felt the tremble in his hands as she went.
But the point of it hadn't ever been to hurt him.
"I doubt I'll ever get the chance to, anyway," she joked.
"I'm serious."
Her heart clenched. "Yes, Sasuke. Alright."
"I mean it."
"...I know."
They both knew the other could hear what they were thinking, so both let the conversation end there.
A second later, Sasuke lifted his arm, creating space for her closer to him. "Let's try to sleep. It's been a long day."
.
.
When morning came, they dressed to start the day like nothing was out of the ordinary. The evening before felt like a faraway dream. As if it was a stranger who'd tried to end their own life and she merely happened to hear about it.
Interrupting her musing, Sasuke pulled her into the bathroom attached to their room and shut the door behind them.
"I have a plan."
She sat down on the toilet, already exhausted from the conversation. "Okay." It wasn't like she could go against him, so she didn't need to do anything but agree.
His gaze narrowed. "...It's in Ino's best interest as well."
Sakura nodded. "Then I agree with whatever it is." The blatant stab at manipulation should've angered her, but she couldn't find it to care. Though she still bit back with, "Of course, you knew I'd say that when you brought her up."
"It's the truth. Madara's search teams are closing in on the safehouses she's rotating between."
"So you're still in contact with someone from the Allies?"
Leaning on the sink behind him, Sasuke regarded her with skepticism. "Now you know you don't truly want to hear that answer, so why ask?"
"...Go on then. What plan?"
"It might also stop Madara from slaying captives in the upcoming bases. Two birds with one stone."
The idiom had Sakura grimacing on a wave of nausea. Last time she'd heard it, it was falling out of Madara's mouth as he pinned her to the earth inches from her best friend's dead body.
Sasuke snapped in front of her face. "Hey. Stay with me."
"I'm here," she muttered, sweeping the memory under the growing effects of the calmative she'd taken minutes ago. "Get on with it."
"Tsk. At your next interrogation, you're going to feed Madara false information."
Snorting, Sakura rolled her eyes. "Yeah. Like that'll work, Sasuke."
"It will. I'd never tell you to do something so reckless if I thought it wouldn't."
"Oh yeah? Then how? He'll know as soon as he goes to verify that it's fake."
"It won't be fake. He'll find exactly what he goes to look for."
"...What?"
"You give him coordinates to hideouts that lead away from Ino. Real coordinates. Ones I'll tell you to give. And when he dispatches a squad to search for it, they'll find a base and Allied shinobi."
She wanted to ask, How would you know the coordinates to hidden Allied bases? But regardless of the answer, she shouldn't know it, either—so she held it in.
But if she had to guess, she'd put her money on it being information that Orochimaru knew and passed along to him. Even in her limited conversations with the late Sannin, it'd been grossly transparent that he knew more about the Allies than any enemy ought to. Sasuke still had Orochimaru's lab logs, too. There was no telling what all the snake had hidden in there.
"Disclosing hidden bases to an enemy is an automatic designation to nukenin," she said instead, letting the matter of his questionable knowledge go before it'd even begun.
"Not even for Ino?" he queried.
"I'd do anything for Ino. But when you bring her up like this, I can't take your threats seriously."
Frowning, he crossed his arms. "Just last night you told me you couldn't see anyone else die. You said you didn't want to be tortured anymore. Those things won't happen without something changing."
"...So you're asking me to betray the Allies again."
"Don't start with that. Look how much you've done for them, Sakura." His voice wasn't loud, but the space was so small it echoed around them. "You're falling apart because you came here. This is enough. They never deserved such loyalty in the first place."
There was no point in arguing the Allies' morality with him, so she swerved for a different argument. "Exactly—look how much I've done for them. I've given this much already, I can't give them up now. Everything I've shouldered will be pointless if I do."
Rubbing the bridge of his nose, Sasuke mumbled to himself under his breath.
Then he ground out, "...You won't be giving anyone up. They'll be giving themselves up."
"What does that mean?"
"Just trust me, Sakura. I'm trying my best here. Keeping this shitshow from falling off the rails is—" Jaw snapping shut, he ended the thought, bending down to look her in the eye. Reaching out to brush his thumb over the seal on her neck. "Either you give up the information or I'll give it, saying that I found it using the seal. Either way, something needs to give. You can't go on like this."
She stared at him as his fingers traveled up her throat. "Is this really what you want me to do?"
"Aa."
"For how long?"
"Not long now."
Not that any of this mattered. The moment Sasuke had decided, it was fated to happen. She'd no power to change his mind. No authority to defy his command. No freedom to do as she pleased.
"Fine then," she intoned. "I'll do as you wish."
Hooking a knuckle under her chin, he tilted her head up, annoyance in his gaze. "Fated to happen? No power? Why do you think the plans changed, Sakura?"
Her eyes flicked to his lips. "How should I know? I'm just your prisoner of war. You're Sasuke Uchiha. You can do whatever you want."
"...Still annoying as you ever were." With a quiet sigh, he leaned into her, closing the space between their mouths.
As always, go find this fic on ao3 and leave a comment if you'd like a response to any questions!
While I do occasionally answer comments on ffnet, I rarely check these notifications!
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thanks for reading, as always.
and thanks to Leech for beta-reading