Chapter 5: Of Hearts and Hearts

Ren thought that Yukari would be happy about how the operation to change Kamoshida's heart had gone. After all, everyone made it out no worse for wear. What could possibly be wrong with that?

As it turned out, that threshold was vast.

It was just as well that they were at Leblanc after hours and Sojiro had gone home.

"You did WHAT?" Yukari yelled,

Morgana yelped and hid. It wasn't like Yukari could understand him anyways. "Uh... I charged Kamoshida single-handed while Morgana healed Ryuji and Ann?"

"Okay." Yukari said. "Now, please explain why you thought that was a good idea."

Ren gritted his teeth. "The alternative was allowing Kamoshida to kill all three of them with an exploding volleyball!" Before Yukari could chastise him further, he added more, "Besides I went on to rip him to shreds with some super attack I didn't even know I could do?"

Yukari froze before she started muttering to herself. "An emotional response? Therugy?" How? That was impossible, right? The only way to use Therugy was through the cartridges that could be loaded in an Evoker. But Ren and his friends didn't use Evokers!

"What's Therugy?" Ren asked.

Yukari sighed. "It's Greek for magic that can touch the gods. The members of SEES could use it by loading special cartridges into these." She reached into her purse and pulled out her Evoker. "This is an Evoker. It's a device that is meant to aid in the summoning of a Persona. By acting out shooting ourselves with it, it helps us face the fear of death and-" Yukari frowned. Why did Ren just turn white as a sheet?

"Yukari, you need to promise me something." Ren said. "If we ever take you into the Metaverse, you do not use that thing." As if expecting her protests, he continued. "The Metaverse is the collective consciousness of mankind. The common perception of a gun is that it shoots bullets. Do the math."

"Oh."

Ren rapidly changed the subject. "I know there's problem areas we have. Weapons and medical supplies. Real world medicine works insanely well in the Metaverse, but the over the counter pills Ryuji brought only help with aliments like confusion or dizziness. As far as weapons go, Ryuji said he found a place that sells model weapons that are pretty damn close to realistic looking. I still have to check that out." He looked to Yukari for her input to find her slumped on the sofa on the verge of tears. "Yukari?"

She shook her head. It hurt. It hurt how much Ren was reminding her of... him. It felt like someone had stabbed a hundred ice-cold blades into her heart, and even the slightest movement caused pure agony. "I'm scared, Ren. I am so scared for you."

"I'm not going to die, Yukari. I promise." Ren said.

Unbeknownst to him, Makoto Yuki had said those same words to Yukari Takeba on the thirtieth of January in the year of 2011. The night before the final battle with Nyx.

The front that Yukari had kept up the past few days, the facade of anger and indignation at the forces of the universe that would dare to encroach on her life again collapsed. It didn't make any sense! It had been five years, give or take a couple months! These emotional scars should've healed by now instead of reopening any time her thoughts drifted!

But yet, here Yukari Takeba was. Sobbing in her brother's bedroom, her wonderful, sweet, nerdy, has never done anything wrong a day in his life brother... who the whims of fate or gods or whatever the hell had deemed to be the next Wild Card, the next Fool.

He kept prodding at it. Asking if there was anything she needed. Anything he could do. It was just making it worse. It was like she was back in that dorm room, holding him in her arms as he drifted off, never to wake again.

Against her will, she conjured up a cursed image of some faceless girl doing the same with Ren, sobbing over his lifeless body...

She finally snapped.

"Just stop, Ren! Stop trying to be all considerate! Just be a fucking asshole for once in your life! Please! Just stop... stop reminding me..." She pulled at her hair, stopping just short of tearing her hair out. "Stop reminding me of Makoto..."

Ren did the double take to end all double takes. It was obvious that Yukari meant someone else entirely, as she hadn't met Makoto Niijima. It still gave him whiplash. "That's the guy you told me about before I came here, isn't it?"

Yukari nodded and explained in a quiet, broken voice. "Yes. Makoto Yuki. He sacrificed his life to seal away Nyx for all time. But before that... I fell in love with him." She swallowed, "And he was like you. He could wield multiple Personas."

"Did you... get to say goodbye?" Ren asked,

"I held him in my arms." Yukari forced out, "At the end."

After the tensest silence of Ren's life, Yukari got up to leave. "Just promise me one thing, Ren. If you do meet someone and the two of you fall for each other, even if you only have a little time with them... love them. Because even though it hurts so goddamn much... I wouldn't change a thing."

After Yukari left Ren ended up going to bed, unsure of what else to do. Before he dozed off, Morgana spoke to him. "Hey, that was some real heavy stuff being thrown around. You good?"

Ren shook his head. "I don't know what to do." He said. He looked at his open hand, "If Yukari is right, and this power is a death sentence... is it right for me to be involved with Makoto? Is it right for me to knowingly inflict the grief that Yukari is still suffering from on someone else?"

"She also told you that it you found someone-"

"I know, Morgana!" Ren snapped, "Sorry. It just feels... selfish."

"If there's anyone who deserves to be a little selfish, it's you." Morgana said.

"I just... don't want to hurt her."

Morgana looked away. He had just about as much experience with romance as Ren. But he needed to say something to support him. That was his whole thing. What use was he if he couldn't do that? "There's no such thing as no risk with love, Ren. I think that even with how much pain could be involved, both of you will be miserable if you back off."

Ren smiled sadly. Morgana was right, despite the risk... "Where did you learn that?"

"Just asked myself what Boss would say."

Ren started to drift off as he remembered a line he'd heard from... somewhere.

No one ever fell in love without being a little bit brave.

Sae Niijima was no stranger to a mystery. Solving mysteries with the right outcome was her job, one she was very good at. Even when a mystery appeared in her private life, she pursued it with the same zeal.

Now though... she had uncovered a mystery that she was content to let play out.

From out of nowhere, Makoto was happier. Happier than Sae had remembered her being in a long time.

She hadn't said anything outright, of course. Makoto knew to not waste her time with trivial matters. It was the little things, how she would hum a tune as she fixed dinner, the spring in her step, the seeming removal of a crushing weight from her shoulders. There was other evidence as well. Her study habits had shifted slightly. She was as diligent as ever, but if she got a text replying would instantly become her priority. Then there was the indulgent smiles and light laughter.

With her curiousity piqued, Sae had attempted to discreetly inquire what had changed. Makoto brushed it off as student council president duties. But there were other signs too. A few days ago, she apparently had a study session with a classmate. That alone was an odd circumstance. Makoto had never spoken of having any friends, really. Even odder, when she had returned home to Sae and their take-out dinner, she had given a positively glowing review of a certain cafe in Yongen-Jaya. It had almost seemed like she was on cloud nine.

The evidence was clear. The conclusion inevitable. Her sister was falling in love for the first time. The parts of her heart that were becoming distorted screamed at Sae to berate Makoto. If she had her head in the clouds, then she would become even more of a liability to Sae. More of a burden. If the worst happened before a big exam, it would be easy for her to fail. To be useless.

Even then, Sae Niijima could not bring herself to do it, because her sister was happier than she had been since the death of their father. In her mind's eye, she saw the night that they had learned their father had been assassinated. The power had gone out the same night, and Makoto had been terrified to death. Terrified that the mobsters that had killed their father were coming to finish the job.

Even if it put her entire future at risk through the unholy combination of teenage hormones, bad judgement, and an ill-advised romance, Sae was content to let Makoto be happy.

But if this boy dared to interfere with Makoto's future, there would be hell to pay.

Sojiro stared at the flyer that Ren had just handed him. If he didn't recognize the picture of the woman on it, he would've told Ren that he appreciated the joke. But Ren had gone on to explain the situation to him and how they -he and Sojiro- could help her. Sojiro could only shake his head at the boy and say that he'd think about it.

Ren's homeroom teacher was moonlighting as a maid for one of the services that offered a wide range of... services. The kid had mentioned to her that he hadn't really seen Sojiro do a lot of cleaning in the cafe, and she had counter-offered by saying if he or Sojiro requested her, she'd come do the cleaning.

Sojiro nearly said no at the five thousand yen per request, but there was something about Ren that reminded him of what it was like to be that young, to be unafraid to do good recklessly. Which was ironic and all, considering his history with Sadayo Kawakami. They'd met in his third year of college, her first. Back in those days, Sojiro had fancied himself as quite the ladies' man, most of the girls at college had just fallen for him at the drop of a hat. Not Kawakami though, she saw right through him.

Which, to the Sojiro Sakura of yesteryear, meant that he was instantly smitten. She had returned his affections, sure. But she also didn't just fall in bed with him. He still remembered their first date. They'd gone to a fancy -well, fancy for college students- dinner and had a romantic walk. That was usually a formula for a certain continuation of the date, in Sojiro's experience. But when the time had come to cross that threshold... hoo boy.

Sojiro had suggested they continue to have fun, right into Kawakami's bedroom. She had drawn close, he could feel her breath on his neck, her body against his, surely this was going to go his way. Then she said one word, one word that had Sojiro wrapped around her finger for the next year.

No.

She'd left him standing there in the winter air with a lipstick mark on his cheek. How could he not fall for her?

He shook his head to rouse himself from his memories. The call had been made; she'd be here any moment. They hadn't been able to say anything in front of the Shujin Academy principal. So, this would be the first time they'd spoke in... twenty years? Had it really been that long?

A knock on the front door. There was definitely someone in a maid uniform there. He got up from the stool at the counter that he'd been sitting at and opened the door. That was Sadayo Kawakami alright.

She smirked at him. "If you think I'm going to call you Master, Sojiro, you're a long way off."

Sojiro chuckled. "Wouldn't dream of it, Sadayo." He held the door open for her as she walked in.

"Such a gentleman. Glad to see you haven't forgot how to behave." Kawakami glanced around the cafe, "What happened to you? I thought you were deadset on becoming some hotshot government agent, instead you're... here."

Sojiro shrugged. "It's a peaceful life. I spend my days in solitude in my little corner of the world." He folded his arms. "Besides, I could say the same thing to you."

Kawakami took a seat at the counter. "Desperate times."

Sojiro moved behind the counter and broke out the French press. "Coffee?"

"Oh, God please." Kawakami said. "You remember how I take it?"

"As black as your soul." Sojiro recited, "So, cream and two sugars."

After a few moments and theatric pouring of the coffee into the cup, Sojiro handed it to her. "Why do I feel like you're not telling me the whole truth about why you run this place?" Kawakami asked.

Sojiro averted his eyes. "That's private."

"I remember a time when we didn't have any secrets, Sojiro."

"Why do you moonlight as a maid, Sadayo?"

Kawakami raised her coffee cup in a mock salute "Touche, Sojiro." She took a drink, then stared into the cup. "God, I hate this."

"I hope you're not talking about the coffee."

She shook her head, "No."

He knew what she meant. "Well, take a break then. I already cleaned today, so you don't have to."

"What?" Kawakami was confused, "But Amamiya said-"

"The kid just isn't here when I clean." He shrugged, "Kids these days, am I right?"

She said nothing, and took another sip of her coffee. Sojiro went back around and began to massage her shoulders. She made no attempt to move away. "Just what do you think you're doing?"

"Making sure you have a restful break." Sojiro said. "And reminding you of happier times."

Kawakami relented, and let him attend to the tension in her shoulders. "So, what? We just go back to the way things were?"

Sojiro shook his head, "It never works like that. We're two very different people compared to back then. That doesn't mean those two different people can't see about finding something new."

Kawakami shrugged off his hand and slowly spun around on her stool. She took one of his hands, placed it against her cheek and leaned into it. "God, I almost forgot what it felt like."

"My hand?"

"No." Kawakami said, "I almost forgot what it felt like to be loved."

Ryuji headed right to the roof after school. Surely they were gonna have another Phantom Thieves meeting, right? It had been a week since they'd taken down Kamoshida, they needed to have some sort of debrief on that. That made sense.

He walked through the door that led to the roof and pulled out his phone. To his dismay, there was not going to be a meeting today. According to the messages in the group chat, Ren was running down a lead on medical supplies for them and Ann had a modeling gig.

Ryuji rolled his eyes and was about to go back inside when he froze.

Was someone... humming?

He looked around the corner and found a girl in the Shujin PE uniform tending to the planters that were up on the roof. Her auburn hair could be described as floof. "Uh, hi?" Ryuji said.

The girl let out a yelp that could only be described as adorable and turned around. "Who's there?"

Ryuji held his hands up. "Whoa! It's just me... uh..." He realized that was going to be worse than useless if the girl didn't know him. He awkwardly stuck his hand out for a handshake. "Ryuji! Ryuji Sakamoto."

The girl's expression softened a little. "I'm Haru."

Ryuji faltered a little. "Just Haru?"

She nodded. "Yes." She regarded him for a moment. "Why are you up here? Isn't the roof supposed to be off-limits?"

Ryuji shrugged. "I don't know, if they wanted to keep it off-limits, you'd think that they'd lock the door. I just... like to come up here to think. Get away from everyone for a bit, y'know?"

Haru nodded. "Yes, I do know." She said quietly. "A-anyways! As long as you're here, would you mind giving me a hand with these?"

Ryuji glanced at the planters. "Sure." He got down on his knees -wincing at the protests from his once broken leg- and got to work. He followed Haru's instructions to the letter, mostly it was just watering and applying weed killer. But he had no idea that there was so much nuance to it. This marked the last time he would ever water the plant his mother insisted on keeping by dumping what was left of his water bottle in it.

After they finished, Ryuji tried to get up, but his left leg gave out and pain shot through him like a lightning bolt. "Shit!" He swore.

"Sakamoto-san? What's wrong?" Haru asked. She knelt down beside him, her faced etched with worry.

"Just a stupid injury acting up." Ryuji said. "Help me up, I just gotta walk it off."

She took his left arm and hauled him up until he could get his right leg under him. He gingerly tested his left leg only for it to buckle again. Even then, Haru held on. Ryuji stole a glance from her to only see the concern on her face. He was so used to nothing but derision. He would never have expected anyone outside of Ren or Ann to help him like this. He tried again. It was still tender, but he could walk again. "Thanks, Haru. I really appreciate it." He scratched his nose for a moment, "Uh, is it cool if I come help you again?"

Haru smiled. "Yes, it's very cool." She said with a giggle. "Next Monday we'll be doing the planters out by the school entrance. I'll bring a knee brace for you. That way you won't hurt yourself again."

Ryuji's heart skipped a beat. When was the last time anyone had shown that much concern for him? Well, not counting his mother. Or the other Phantom Thieves. "Um... thanks. I guess I'll see you then, yeah?"

Haru nodded. "Yes, I'll see you then." After Ryuji left, she stood there for a moment before voicing her thoughts aloud. "Does he... really not know who I am?"

Things were starting to get tense. It had been two weeks since they'd stolen Kamoshida's Treasure, and still they'd heard nothing. The only sign that he'd been affected was his complete absence from school and the replacement of all PE classes with a study hall period. Ren certainly wasn't going to complain. Ryuji did. Finally, a special assembly had been called. Kawakami had told them that it would be a message on the value of life and various other platitudes. The meaning was clear, they were finally acknowledging that a member of the student body had tried to kill themselves. According to Ann, Shiho was doing well and had started going to therapy. However, her parents were insisting that she transfer to another school unless Kamoshida was removed from Shujin Academy. The deadline was today of all days.

Principal Kobayakawa took the stage and began to speak. As Ren expected it was nothing but drivel. A self-serving speech about the value of life, that somehow looped around to how vital it was for them to protect the school's reputation. It ended with a very pointed remark about the calling card, and that repeated incidents would not be permitted.

Then the door to the gym was thrown open. Kamoshida was here. He walked to the front of the crowd and took the microphone from Kobayakawa, who was blissfully unaware of the firestorm that was about to be unleashed. "And now a few words from our illustrious volleyball coach."

"This is it." Ryuji muttered. "Now or never."

"I have come here today to make an announcement." Kamoshida said, "I' have done... terrible, terrible things... things that are unbecoming of a teacher or of any profession."

In a panic, Kobayakawa tried to take the microphone from him. "Kamoshida, you're still unwell, please get off-"

"NO!" Kamoshida shouted. He shoved the principal to the ground, causing him to cringe away from him. 'I have to do this, I have to drag every crime, every sin out into the light." He swallowed, and then began. Anyone who could stop him did not, as they listened with growing horror. "I have treated this school as if I was the king of a castle. I have been physically abusing the volleyball team. I have assaulted students for standing up to me, the most recent of which was Ren Amamiya. I was engineered the banning of the Track and Field team by pushing Ryuji Sakamoto to the brink and breaking his leg... then claiming it was self-defense. And I..." He heaved a sob and collapsed to his knees. "And I've been sexually harassing female students! Expelling students just because I don't like them... having members of the volleyball team spread rumors about Amamiya that simply are not true... and I... I..."

"Finish it, you bastard!" Ann snapped, "Tell them what you did to me!"

"I tried to force Takamaki-san into having sexual relations with me... by saying that I would keep a certain student in the starting lineup of the volleyball team... when she refused, I went to that student and pressured them into it. After... I threw them off the team completely..." He was weeping openly between sentences now, the weight of his crimes too much to bear. He tore off his gold medal and threw it into the crowd. The students near where it landed moved away as if it was toxic. "I want to kill myself. I don't deserve to live. But I... can't. I must face justice. I must atone for my sins. I must spend the rest of my days begging for forgiveness, even if it is never given. I am going to turn myself in. Someone, please call the police!"

"Holy shit." Ryuji said. "I didn't think he'd confess the stuff about me."

Towards the front of the audience, Makoto was brimming with righteous anger. That Kamoshida had done all of that, and she couldn't protect her classmates and fellow students from any of it? Never again. In some corner of her mind, it dimly registered that it was what he had done to Ren that made her the angriest.

"Oh, Ryuji..." Haru muttered to herself, "You poor thing..."

The teachers fought to regain order, and eventually all of the students returned to class. However, precious little learning was being done. All the students could talk about was Kamoshida's confession. Ren, Ryuji, and Ann lost count of the number of times that someone came up to them and apologized.

The other topic of conversation was these alleged Phantom Thieves. After all, the calling card had said that Kamoshida would confess his crimes from his own mouth.

Ren listened to the wild theories with mild interest. It was rather odd when you had to potentially refute something about yourself that was absolutely true.

Soon enough, the day was over. He broke out into a smile as he saw Makoto headed toward him. He could also hear Ann's exasperated groan. Before Ren could say anything, Ann stepped in. "What do you want, Niijima?"

Ryuji winced. "Come on, Ann, why you gotta be like that? She helped Ren out after Kamoshida rang his bell and-"

"And nothing!" Ann spat. "For all we know, she was helping Kamoshida cover it up, just like Kobayakawa!"

"I would never do such a thing, Takamaki-san." Makoto said evenly, "And frankly, that you would insinuate that I would stand by and do nothing while crimes of a sexual nature are occurring is an insult." She tried to remind herself that Ann likely didn't know about the circumstances of her father's death. It wasn't working.

"Oh, save me the high and mighty bullshit, Robot Prez!" Ann seethed, "What did you do when Kamoshida broke Ryuji's leg? Nothing. What did you do when-"

Enough was enough. Ren knew that Ann's feelings were valid, but she was about to pass into vitriol that would seriously damage any chance of mending fences here. "Ann, that's enough." He said.

Ann rounded on him, "And why are you defending her? Just because you're down bad doesn't mean you get to excuse her for doing nothing because she doesn't want to risk her precious college recommendation letter!"

Makoto averted her eyes. As much as she wanted to deny it, Ann wasn't wrong.

Ren forced himself to stay in control of his temper. They were already gathering too much of a crowd. "It's because I know what it's like to be powerless, Ann! To be so desperate to do the right thing, to be a good person, only to be hurt at every turn by those who should be protecting us! And so what if she could only do little things like helping me to the nurse's office after Kamoshida smacked me around? She was still trying. Trying to do whatever good she could in a system that's actively hostile to it!"

"Yeah, she helped him out." Ryuji added, "She can't be all bad, right?"

Ann backed down, barely. "Alright, Ren. If you two believe her, I'll believe her too."

Ren could tell that Ann wasn't fully convinced, but that she had decided to trust both his and Ryuji's judgement on the matter. "You guys go ahead. I'll catch up." He turned to Makoto. "Are you okay?" The crowd that had gathered had already dispersed, thank goodness.

Makoto tried to play it off. "It's only natural that some people would see things her way. Especially those that Kamoshida... propositioned."

"That's not what I asked, Niijima-san. I asked if you're okay."

Makoto blushed. "I- no. No, I'm not. But I'll be fine." She smiled sheepishly, "My only regret is that I don't now when I'll free for our... ah... next outing. I'm probably about to get very busy."

That much was true. In the aftermath of Kamoshida's confession, Ren had no doubt that the principal would undoubtedly shove his responsibility on to Makoto. "Yeah, I can believe that. Just remember, if you ever need a break or the pressure gets to be too much, I've got a cup of coffee and plate of curry with your name on it."

She smiled. "Thank you, I really do appreciate it." She looked at him expectantly for a moment. "Isn't this the part where you say some corny pickup line?"

"If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together."

Yes, he was dying of cringe on the inside. But that smile made it all worth it.

A/N: I know this chapter's a little shorter than usual. The Kamoshida aftermath doesn't exactly require a lot of word count.

The chapter name is me trying to be clever. What with all of the romance bits (hearts) and Kamoshida's change of heart taking full effect.

The full extent of Yukari's grief and fear for her brother finally make her buckle under it for a moment.

And then of course Ren contemplates if it's right to risk putting Makoto through the same grief. Don't worry, this isn't going to devolve into some terrible miscommunication nonsense that goes on for half the fic. It's just there to demonstrate how much Ren cares.

Uh oh, Sae's noticing the shenanigans. Fortunately, since her Palace hasn't formed (yet) she's able to keep a relatively cool head about it.Oh, and just a bit of explanation on why Makoto is so afraid of the dark.

Whoops my hand slipped and I started the other ships. The timeline for Sojiro and Kawakami works if you squint. As for Ryuji and Haru, my only defense is that I have an intense weakness for Himbo x Rich Girl.

And with that, Kamoshida's house of cards comes tumbling down. Not much else to say there.

Okay. Here we go. Ann and Makoto's argument. This is an odd scenario where everyone is completely right. Makoto did everything she could under the circumstances. Ann is completely justified in being angry that she didn't do more. Luckily Ren was able to step in before things got truly hurtful.

Yeah, Makoto's about to get real busy. It would be a shame if she got the order to investigate the Phantom Thieves... and that Ren is the prime suspect.

Wouldn't it?