"Yoshi Kart! I'm racing!" Yoshi, the main green colored Yoshi dinosaur that was his own character, exclaimed since he was driving his Turbo Yoshi kart around the circuit named and themed after him from Mario Kart Double Dash. "This feels so good! I'm actually racing around in my nice-"
Several different colored members of the Yoshi species zipped by in different carts as they pelted Yoshi with different colored Yoshi eggs (I wonder what they smell like, haha). Yoshi growled as he followed the multicolored Yoshis through a warp that led to the Yoshi Valley from Mario Kart 64, then headed into another warp that lead into the Yoshi Falls from Mario Kart DS, before finally winding up at the Yoshi Desert from the GameBoy Advance's Mario Kart Super Circuit. Yoshi groaned as he ended up dead last, with everyone who was entirely composed of Yoshisauruses laughing at how pathetic he was.
Yoshi then woke up, he was sweating, wondering what the hell just happened. He was in his bed, with it past midnight as he glanced outside his window, to see Dinosaur Land from Super Mario World looking just find as he was at his home on his island, proceeding to going back to sleep, dreaming more about his literal Yoshi Kart based dream.
And what a damn spectacular way to tie into the rest of the story.
Yoshi Kart
By Yoshizilla-Rhedosaurus
Yoshizilla-Rhedosaurus: Well... guess I should let you know that this is now the start of the entire stupidity drenched story. Why? Because it makes it better than it originally was. And it adds even more depth and awesomeness to this former pile of fail. Guess it's a good thing I came back to tender it, huh guys? Anyway, this should have been the original beginning, but of course, Super Smash Bros Brawl was not out when this stupid, ancient fanfiction about racing mixed with random bullshit started, and I was an idiotic author back than who probably couldn't right a proper beginning introduction to what eventually would be a gigantic story in the first place. Hopefully this brand new beginning of Yoshi Kart, along with all the brand new chapters that I plan to churn out, help get this fanfic out of the crap hole and back onto the pedestal that most of you awesome fans placed on in the first place. And hopefully my fanfic tweaking/fixing can mix in new material to help the old, unfunny recycled material seem new, even though in my eyes it won't seem the case. ...Hey, I didn't want to ramble this long. Welcome in the new introduction! And of course, enjoy the 1 gem salvaged from the original author's note of this story since yes; it's easily significant enough to be here!
Original Author's Note: Yello! This is my first fanfic involving a race. I hope you enjoy it, for randomness and humor will be applied. This is the introduction, and most of the characters that are made up will appear in my other story, Yoshi's First Adventure. And I like to thank game2002 for inspiring me to do this. Without his Super Smash Racing story, this would never be happening.
Disclaimer: ...I got this job again how?
Yoshizilla-Rhedosaurus: (sigh) And I still wonder why I have him around with me. Well, let's get this crap started. We don't own anything that isn't originally created. Most of that stuff belongs to me. And the others who contributed fan characters (who probably left the site and/or died. Of which case I tip my hats off to you, my fallen soldiers. Maybe. I don't really care. Okay, I do. I'll stop).
Disclaimer: No seriously, why am I here? Am I enlightening you on anything-
Yoshi: Just shut up already, Dabloancho Nettegero Lampiezra Lordikookilopenaphaza Yiyi Forgetmenot Disclaimer Randomloserpants.
Disclaimer: ...how did you know my name?
The VERY Beginning
...It was a typical quiet Saturday morning during the Spring in Nintendo City, and a giant floating glove with magic powers was going through mail...
"Sigh... bills, junk, and more goddamn junk filled bills... how unsurprising..."
Master Hand sighed with distraught as he looked depressingly at the surprisingly large amounts of bills and letters he has received all throughout the years on his desk, including a new pile of bills that just came in today. Taking a quick look out of the window from his office within the very top floor of the Super Smash Brothers Mansion, he floated over his chair as he grabbed the bills, reading and tossing them into the nearby garbage bin as he wondered what to do.
"Look at all these damn friggin' bills... oh lord, it will be a miracle once I manage to pay it off," He sighed, he took a good look out from his window yet again. "How could the endless Brawl matches not be enough to pay off the debt completely?"
He continued pondering such things to himself as he noticed the clear blue skies appearing over the clouds that started shifting away, the blue birds coming out to communicate with each other. Master Hand pondered deeply, until he snapped himself, getting a wonderful idea.
"That's it! Why haven't I thought of that in the first place?" Stating to himself and chuckled. "Why, I'll have an all around race somewhere on this planet! And not only will I have the Smashers participate, but other competitors, as well!" Having this wonderful idea, Master Hand immediately phoned in Crazy Hand.
A generic but incredibly vivid green and grassy meadow that likely was located somewhere in Dinosaur Land and was accompanied by the sunny blue skies seemed to stretch for miles beyond miles. Yoshi stretched his arms as he looked up at the clear blue sky, smiling as he noticed how bright it was. "Ahh! Not a cloud in sight! It's going to be a wonderful day!" He exclaimed with joy.
Dr. Hoshi nodded his head as he approached Yoshi, his arms folded. "I'll say." The purple colored Yoshisaurus covered with a white lab coat commented, adjusting his glasses. "And purposely, the author is reinstating our appearances for any new readers."
Peppy Ankylosaurus, who was walking on all four of his legs and completely yellow, approached Yoshi and Dr. Hoshi. "Hey, how come I rarely get a mention nowadays?" His face looked pretty much exactly like a Koopa's face.
Dr. Hoshi sighed and turned to Peppy, rolling his arms. "Well, given that the space time continuum was messed about, I say the author writing this is doing it on purpose because life is 1 fucking joke."
Peppy tilted his head to the right. "Say what now, doc?"
Dr. Hoshi rolled his eyes while shaking his head. "Never mind..." He muttered in annoyance. "Why do I even bother...?"
Suddenly the three dinosaurs noticed several dark storm clouds forming, surrounding them. Yoshi, Peppy, and Dr. Hoshi all held each other as white lightning struck the sky, causing it to heavily rain.
"What's happening?" Yoshi and Peppy exclaimed in unison.
Dr. Hoshi simply shook his head. "I honestly have zero idea!" He replied, all three dinosaurs screaming as they were seemingly struck by a lightning bolt.
"So let me get this straight, bro," Crazy Hand started, a little bit unnerved. "You want to host an all around grand prix?"
Master Hand nodded back in response (how he managed to do that is impossible, so just go with it). "But of course, Crazy Hand! After all, we do need some excitement around here other than simply just brawling and smashing over a melee, anyway. All I need is the location of a good place to host this wonderful race."
Crazy Hand thought hard, but he couldn't come up with a thing. "Hmm. Sorry, bro, but my mind's in the gutter for this one."
Master Hand cursed while snapping himself again. "Damn it! We're gonna need more locations..." He summoned in R.O.B. the Robotic Operation Buddy, who immediately began a search scan within his database.
"...Searches were found. The Mushroom Kingdom, Timber's Island, the Pokemon region of Kanto, Hoenn, Hyrule, The Lylat System, Mobius, the Isle O' Hags, Donkey Kong Island, Eagleland..." R.O.B. stated in a robotic voice for obvious reasons. (he will be called ROB from here on out because it's easier for me to type. Plus, it's a much better way of pronouncing his name. :P)
Master Hand sighed with distraught. "Ugh, none of those locations sound good to host this. We need a mostly unexplored area, something only one of the Smashers know about..." He stated, moving his fingertips in a suggested way.
ROB did one more search, and he found a result, with a barely static image of Yoshi drifting around in a kart playing in his eye sockets. "Master Hand, it appears that Yoshi's homeland of Dinosaur World could be the perfect spot. Do you wish to have your grand prix there?"
Master Hand paused for a moment, and he then laughed with glee, grabbing ROB's robotic hands and shaking them. "Yes! Yes, ROB, you are a miracle savior! That's precisely the place where the grand prix should take place!"
Crazy Hand, however, was a bit cautious on such an idea. "I dunno, bro, other than Yoshi's Island, we haven't fully explored Dinosaur World... are you sure it's a good idea?"
Master Hand stared blankly at Crazy Hand for a few moments.
"Crazy Hand, do you remember when we went to the past?" He tried to spark some sense into Crazy Hand, "We raised Doctor Harryhausen Howard Hoshi from a trouble-causing youngling to the highly intellectual professor that he now is. How bad could having a simple little grand prix be?"
Crazy Hand still remained wary. "The way you're putting it, this Grand Prix does not sound little, nor simple."
"...Pah!" Master Hand then slapped Crazy Hand as he proclaimed, "Stay here all you want, Crazy. But I'm going to make sure that this grand prix goes on! To spark excitement!" And, the last thing he quietly muttered before disappearing in a white puff of smoke in front of Crazy Hand and ROB, "And to help pay off the incredibly bad debt this old stink house has managed to raise..."
"...Ough...where am I...?" Yoshi groaned, feeling rain dripping on him as he placed his left hand on his head. He looked up, to see Peppy and Dr. Hoshi lying in front of him. "Hey... you guys awake?"
Peppy groaned and shook his head, blinking several times. "Augh... that was painful... I felt like I was grilled and barbecued at the same time..."
Dr. Hoshi stood up, adjusting his glasses upon clearing his throat. "Well, at least we're all in one piece..." He looked up, still noticing that the sky was darkened from the storm because it continued to rain. "Hmm... I guess it hasn't stopped..."
Amongst the loud thunder boomed, the trio of dinosaurs heard some sinister chuckling. Yoshi, Peppy, and Dr. Hoshi got closer to each other and got into fighting stances as they prepared for the worst, looking around for the source of the laughter as it kept raining. Course it wouldn't be fair for the trio to learn that they were going to be thrown into something they had no control over!
Master Hand laughed as he slowly moved his fingertips. "Yes... this is going to go well... they won't suspect a thing."
"They won't but I will." Said a Noshi who was just standing there awkwardly.
Master Hand then proceeded to blast the blue dinosaur known as Nossie with his electrical powers, grumbling to himself as he got the story working up to something all of you might be familiar with, from a certain point of view...
1 unforgettable evening in the peaceful world of Dinosaur Land, at Yoshi's House on Yoshi Island, a bunch of different colored Yoshis are driving around in their pipe framed karts, while the main green Yoshi himself is sitting in his little chair in front of the fireplace while playing his green Nintendo Gamecube. Baby Mario is looking over Yoshi's shoulder looking at him beating Pokemon Coliseum using only Gen 3 Pokemon from the tropical Emerald filled Hoenn region of Ruby and Sapphire, and it was going to spiral into something else from that point onward.
"C'mon dude. When is it my turn?" Baby Mario groaned and slumped in his chair.
Yoshi turned to Baby Mario with an annoyed look on his reptilian face. "Baby Mario, just chill. You'll get your turn."
Baby Mario groaned and acted exactly as you would expect him too, pouting annoyingly. "No! This is whack!"
Yoshi got angry and yelled at Baby Mario, slapping him across the face to display discipline. "Look, diaper boy, you get to play when my turn is over!"
"But you've been playing for nine frickin' hours!" Baby Mario retorted; he then started crying obnoxiously, getting tears everywhere on purpose.
Soon three rings from the doorbell were heard. Yoshi walked towards the door, but before he did, he handed Baby Mario the controller and said, "Here. Make sure I don't lose."
Baby Mario nodded and took the controller as Yoshi walked towards the door.
"Who is it?" Yoshi asked, wondering who could it be at the green dinosaur's door. Finally, there was an answer.
"The landlord."
Yoshi scoffed and walked back towards his seat, when he heard two knocks.
"Cable Guy!" The voice said again.
Yoshi just stood there and didn't answer, holding his Gamecube controller.
"Vote Quimby!" The voice randomly blurted out.
Yoshi walked back towards his seat, but then more obnoxious bangs were heard on his door. Yoshi got frustrated and shouted, "WHO IS IT?"
The person outside continued to bang the door. "OPEN THE FRICKIN' DOOR! IT'S THE POLICE!"
Baby Mario gasped and hid under the couch. Yoshi shook his head and opened the door. Outside the house was another green colored short Yoshi but this dinosaur had red hair with a yellow-orange tinted diaper with white spots on it and red shoes.
Yoshi shook his head while asking: "Um, who are you?"
The young Yoshi replied; "Never mind that. Follow me."
Yoshi shrugged and followed the younger Chibi Yoshi to a white van parked outside of Yoshi's house. "What's going on here, anyway?"
The baby Yoshi kid sighed and tapped his right shoe while brushing back his hair. "A meeting has been decided, and you're coming whether you like it or not. Get in!"
The kid Yoshi started shoving Yoshi inside the van.
"I'm not going," Yoshi said upon stopping the Mini-Yoshi.
"What? Man, you betta get yer ass in dat d'ere seat, son!" The mini Yoshi commanded.
Yoshi gave him an angry look while clutching both of his arms. "Sod off! I'm not going and that's final!"
The young mini-Yoshi kid got extremely furious and opened up the passenger seat door, picked up Yoshi, and stuffed Yoshi in the seat until he looked like an abstract painting. Then the blue Yoshi got in and drove away.
Baby Mario got out of the covers and looked around. "Yoshi? Yoohoo? Hey are you here, ya Flintstones reject?"
"Yabba dabba damn, what did I do to you?" Fred Flintstone complained because he was in the corner eating some Fruity Pebbles, deciding to leave since he felt insulted.
Baby Mario shook his head. "Not you, Mr. Flagstone, I'm looking for my Jurassic Park knockoff."
A Tyrannosaurus Rex roared as he smashed the rooftop, making the baby jump up as he hid underneath the table nearby, with a bunch of Velociraptors running around sniffing him out until they got bored and left.
Baby Mario sighed and crawled out. "How hard is it to find this damn lizard... frog thing?"
May the female human protagonist from the Hoenn era of the Pokemon anime and the Pokemon Ruby/Sapphire/Emerald games, came into the living room and noticed him. "Baby Mario? Why are you looking around for?"
Baby Mario rubbed the back of his head. "Well, I coulda sworn that Yoshi was nearby, but then he disappeared without a trace."
May hiccuped. "Wonder what happened to him."
Baby Mario looked out of the window, and saw the tracks of the white van. He turned to May. "I'm gonna go after Yoshi. You can play the game."
May smiled. "Thank you!" She gave Baby Mario a hug, and then sat on the couch with the controller, playing Yoshi's saved Pokemon Coliseum game.
"Hang on Yosh, I'm coming to rescue ya!" Baby Mario proclaimed because he exited the house and started running in the direction of the tracks.
With no one present, May proceeded to let out a big stinky fart and she blushed at her tuba poot.
"Ooh, I might need new underwear!" May giggled in embarrassment for she began fanning the air while feeling embarrassed about her bassy farting.
At the Wonder Fields near the Sauropod Forest, 7 different dinosaurs were standing around, waiting for something. The white van appeared and the blue Yoshi threw Yoshi down on the ground and drove off. The other dinosaurs gathered around Yoshi. Despite being out of the white van, Yoshi still looks like an abstract painting.
"Can someone help me out here?" Yoshi questioned; he started to struggle.
A 5th foot tall, blue Brontosaurus looked at Yoshi and then pulled on Yoshi's nose, making Yoshi pop back into shape. "Oh, you are Yoshi. I thought Picasso was near by somewhere."
Yoshi cleaned himself off, glancing up. "Thanks. Who are you guys?"
The blue Brontosaurus stood up and smiled. "I'm Bronto, the leader of Team Brontos."
A yellow, green-spiked Stegosaurus with a green bow approached Yoshi and giggled. "I'm Shelia. I'm a fashion designer."
A blue Yoshi with sunglasses approached Yoshi and scanned him, scoffing while adjusting his black sunglasses. "I'm Boshi. I see that we have meet before."
Yoshi was in awe as Birdo and Peppy Ankylosaurus came up to Yhim.
"Yoshi, I was wondering how you were doing!" Peppy asked; he and Yoshi were friends for many years.
Yoshi chuckled; he was feeling so happy. "It's great to see you here, Peppy."
Birdo approached Yoshi and waved her hand, "I'm Birdo. Nice to meet you. Granted we know each other, but it has been quite a while..."
Yoshi blushed as the purple Ankylosaurus approached Yoshi.
"I'm Heppy, Peppy's younger brother," He introduced, smiling as the green Birdosaurus approached Yoshi.
"I'm Zirdo, the youngest and cutest of the Birdo sisters!" The green female from the Birdo species squealed as she did a cute pose.
Yoshi wrapped his arms around the back of his relatively spiny neck. "Well, it's good to meet you all, but where are we?"
Bronto shrugged. "We're at the Wonder Fields, the most sacred place in Dinosaur Land. The reason we are here, that I don't know."
Yoshi scratched his arm as he murmured in disapproval. "Great. I was kidnapped in the middle of a game."
Boshi looked strangely at Yoshi while Peppy spoke up. "You're lucky, Yoshi. They did me cold."
The scene goes into Peppy's flashback. He was in his house on the phone talking to his old colleague until behind his door he heard a "HEAVE!..." Then his door was busted down right after a "HO!".
Peppy jumped and screamed, "AAAAAAAAAAAH! Who the hell are you?"
A huge, dark Tyrannoyoshi walked towards Peppy. "I'm Tyrannoyoshi Rex," He said, bearing his teeth.
"I'm King Brachio, ruler of Sauropods," The brachiosaurus said.
The Triceratops came in front. "I'm the great Genzor, lord of Triceratops!"
The Ankylosaurus appeared. "I'm King Ankylosaurus, ruler of Ankylosaurus."
Peppy stood there with a weird look in his face. "Am I supposed to be afraid of you?" Peppy snorted, as he went back talking to the phone. But, the phone was missing. The other bosses laughed, as Tyrannoyoshi Rex broke the phone down to pieces.
Peppy gulped and started making a run for it, but was squished by the huge impact of the bosses. Peppy groaned with a nervous chuckle that followed up with a wheeze of pain. "Ah shit, it's gonna be a rough day today..."
The flashback ends and we are back at Wonder Fields, where the Master Hand is waiting patiently. Everyone looks strangely at Peppy, and then turn to the Master Hand.
"Hello, everyone. I bet you're all wondering why I called you to this meeting," Master Hand said as he somehow sat down in his personal chair.
Everyone came closer to him in amazement, except Yoshi, who all ready knew Master Hand.
"So, why have you called us?" Yoshi asked Master Hand.
Master Hand cleared his voice, then got up from his chair in spite of the fact that he was a frickin' giant floating glove with mystical powers. "The reason that I called you all here is because I am now about to announce the annual Unnamed Kart race." Everyone looked weirdly at Master Hand.
"Since when there was such a race called Unnamed Kart?" Yoshi asked, being the only dinosaur who has experienced with racing in the entire world of Dinosaur Land.
"Since now," Master Hand commented.
"...That's so fucking stupid." Boshi interrupted upon which he raised his eyebrow.
"Well frankly that's a bit damning but it is true."
Boshi adjusted his glasses. "Wait a minute. So out of the blue, you're just gonna make up some race that's not even named?"
The Master Hand looked at Boshi and said, "That's right. After my failure of the Super Smash Racing, I decided to start over with you guys. Besides, races are the best."
Everyone nodded their heads in agreement.
"But still, this race needs a name," Master Hand continued, "So guess what? You can all test your racing skills in a 2-lap circuit around here. I thought of the standard 3 but that would take a while, 4 would have been pushing it, 5 would work with a higher speed, 6 is just too much, 7 might have caused you all to get dazed out, 8 would have been infinite, 9 would never happen, and oh do I even need to say anything about 10 laps... plus I don't think anyone is content eith just 1 lap so that's my justification. Anyway I've also made karts." Master Hand moved out of the way to show everyone. The karts were small and identical to each other.
"We're gonna race in these for what?" Yoshi asked.
The all-powerful Master Hand told them, "If one of you wins this race, which in terms is just a practice, your name will be in the title." Everyone agreed and they got in their kart.
"What's the point of this stupid race?" Boshi complained in an annoyed tone.
Master Hand chuckled and responded, "Well, racing is the best way to spend a few days, so I decided to do it. Now start your engines."
Everyone started and as soon as Master Hand said go, everyone zoomed out.
"Damn, they're fast," Master Hand said as he sat down to watch.
Yoshi was in first with Peppy behind him.
"Get out of my way, Yoshi!" Peppy yelled as he picked up a green Koopa shell and threw it at Yoshi.
Yoshi dodged the Koopa shell and shouted back at Peppy, "It's going to be harder than that if you want to take me down!"
Boshi fired a missile at Peppy and was using a mushroom to pass Yoshi. "See ya sucker!" Boshi said, as he got closer to the finish line.
"Hey!" Yoshi shouted, as he speed towards Boshi.
Birdo, Zirdo, and Bronto were having a war of their own as they were in one group. Bronto kept slipping on bananas left by Birdo, but was able to throw red shells at Birdo and Zirdo. Zirdo used a mushroom to speed up, but it was hard because of the red shells.
Yoshi passed the finish line, but it was the second and final lap. Heppy and Shelia were right behind Yoshi, but he managed to slow them down with his Fake Boxes. Yoshi continued to speed towards and eventually he passed the finish line first, followed by Boshi, Birdo, Zirdo, Bronto, Peppy, Heppy, and Shelia.
"Well, it seems that Yoshi won this race, so it will be called Yoshi Kart," Master Hand announced, as the other racers got out of their cars.
Bronto raised his hand in the air. "So what's in it for us if we raced?"
Master Hand stuttered. "...U-uhh, the satisfaction of... having played an important role in Yoshi Kart."
Everyone narrowed his or her eyes at Master Hand.
"Yeah right. You betta come up with something good," Boshi told Master Hand.
Master Hand got up, speaking up. "Well, I'm open for suggestions."
Peppy walked in front of everyone and said, "Why does the title of the races gotta have Yoshi's name in it?"
Yoshi replied, "One, I won the race for the title, and two, because it wouldn't sound right if it was called Peppy Ankylosaurus Kart."
Peppy scratched his head. "Hmm, got a point. But, I'm supposed to be the best racer."
Yoshi jumped up. "No you're not... I'm the best racer! I have more experience."
Birdo came closer. "Well I got the best control."
Boshi got in front of the three dinosaurs. "C'mon. I'm the strongest!" Boshi then started dancing to the turn "Can't Touch This', making everyone roll their eyes in response.
"So what? Bronto is strong too," Master Hand pointed out.
Bronto smiled and nodded, which he also blurted out, "Of course I'm strong."
Boshi gave Bronto a mean glare and picked up a huge boulder. "Oh yeah? No pain!" Boshi yelled at Bronto.
Bronto beats on his head hard. "Nothing inside!" He frowned. "Wait, that didn't come out right..."
Boshi glared at Bronto again and he puts Peppy's arm on his chest. "Hold me back," Boshi asked.
Bronto glared at Boshi. "You think you're the man, huh? I'll show you something." Bronto puts Peppy's other arm on his chest. "Hold ME back, Peppy."
Peppy sweatdropped. "Uhhh…"
Boshi glared at Bronto and pushed him. "Forget that dumbass, hold me back."
Bronto huffed as he extended his long neck and shoved him. "To hell with that shades covered lizard, just hold me back."
It kept going for several minutes.
Master Hand turned to Birdo, Shelia, and Heppy. "Now, back to people with intelligence,"
Heppy came in front. "We'll, we all know that I am the winner!"
Master Hand turned to Birdo, "Well, people are right about Birdo. Everyone says she's the best."
"Oh why thank you." Birdo blushed while adjusting her red bow.
Heppy's jaw dropped, not wanting to be outdone by a pink female dinosaur. "WHAT? YOU MUST BE CRAZY!"
Yoshi came in front while licking his face, "Well, I'm the best out of everyone here because I have experience of racing."
Everyone glared at Yoshi and yelled down upon him, "WHAT? I'M THE BEST!"
Master Hand muttered to himself. "...Why is this starting to sound like a certain pesky plumber's party...?" He thought for a moment, and then he came up with an idea. "Hmm...that's it. I got an idea."
Yoshi scratched his head. "What is it, Master Hand?"
Master Hand turned to everyone and explained, "How about this? The winner will get to have his or her own name in the title of our race's current name."
Yoshi gave Master Hand a confused look. "What do you mean by this?"
Master Hand looked at Peppy and said, "Well, for example, if Peppy won, then the new name is Peppy Kart."
Peppy smiled and gave a thumbs up in approval. "Yeah, I like it."
Boshi shook his head and had his arms folded in disapproval. "I don't. What else is there?"
Master Hand continued, "Well, I was also thinking that the winner will also receive a trillion dollars."
Everyone except Master Hand jumped up in surprise and yelled in unison, "$1,000,000,000,000!"
Bronto rubbed his stump shaped hands together and heartily laughed."Show me the money!"
Baby Mario, who has finally made it into the Wonder Fields, appeared from a rock he was hiding behind nearby and said, "Did somebody say well over a million huge money?"
Yoshi jumped in surprise, with the other dinosaurs not being fazed by his appearance.
Master Hand was not expecting anyone else. "What the hell are you doing here?"
Baby Mario chuckled. "I heard somebody say they had over billions of bucks." He looked at Master Hand. "So where's the money at, big hand?"
Yoshi walked towards Baby Mario and pointed at him. "Wait a minute. If you're here, then who the hell is playing my game?"
Baby Mario's eyes widened as he gulped, laughing sheepishly. "Uh, whoops."
For a quick moment, we cut back at Yoshi's house, where May is still playing Yoshi's saved game in Pokemon Coliseum, and losing badly too.
"Oh man, I got dead again. This game stinks!" May exclaimed in dismay (lmao) because she felt her stomach growl and let out a bunch of sloppy trombone farts that sounded like wet trumpets which made her laugh in embarrassment. "But not as much as those, teeheeha... peeyew!"
Master Hand coughed and moved his fingers at different paces. "I forgot to mention, all of you are expected, and will, race. Also, some of Dinosaur Land's most vicious creatures alive will race."
Peppy jumped in joy as his tail club began swinging around in excitement. "YEAH! I have some pay back I want to discuss with them!"
Master Hand continued, "And to make things wackier and better, even my brother, Crazy Hand, will race."
Yoshi fluttered in the air in surprise, with this 1 being even worse as he knew what shenanigans involved this unstable floating glove. "WHAT!"
"Who's Crazy Hand?" Baby Mario asked.
Yoshi explained the whole thing to Baby Mario.
"Freaky," Baby Mario said, trying to get the thought out of his mind.
"Crazy Hand seems to be only a push over," Birdo commented, being one of the few who knew Crazy Hand other than Yoshi.
Master Hand said, "Well, he might not be this time. I'm letting you bring in your own vehicles, regardless of what they are, packed with your own weapons or other equipment."
Everyone stared and Master Hand in disbelief.
"Damn, Master Hand. Why?" Bronto asked.
"You'll need them to survive the race I'm giving you," Master Hand told them.
Shelia placed her hands on her hips, her eyes squinting as she slowly moved her spiky tail around. "Say, what do you mean by... survive?"
Baby Mario thought of this, and he had a smirk on his face. "I'm game. Sign me up, big hand."
Master Hand turned to Baby Mario. "Sure, and while we're on the subject, I'm letting fifteen entries into the race so far. I'll put out a commercial advertisement that'll let others enter the race if they want to. A randomly selected few shall race with us."
Everyone commented on this and they liked the idea.
Master Hand finished, "Well, now if you want go on back to your homes, meeting adjourned!"
Everyone cheered as Master Hand waved goodbye to the dinosaurs.
"See you all tomorrow!" Master Hand said, as he headed back to the mansion that had a bunch of certain famous Nintendo characters in it.
Back at Yoshi's house, Yoshi is making arrangements to his Turbo Yoshi while May is chatting with Misty on the phone. Doctor Hoshi approaches Yoshi.
"Hey Yoshi," The purple raptor that looked suspiciously identical to a Yoshisaurus with the white lab coat and light blue glasses said. He squinted to make sure that the green Yoshisaurus was actually him and not a generic member of the race.
"Hey doc," Yoshi replied; he felt exhausted.
Dr. Hoshi continued to squint. "You ARE Yoshi, right?"
Yoshi nodded. "Yes sir, the one and only."
Dr. Hoshi sighed of relief. "Good. I just heard that you're entering in that new Yoshi Kart grand prix."
Yoshi smiled and continued to add the finishing touches to his car. "You heard right, doctor."
Dr. Hoshi looked at the car. "So, are you going to enter in this thing?"
"Yep," Yoshi said. He then thought of something. "Oh! Harryhausen, Howard!"
"Yes, Yoshi?"
"Watch this," Yoshi got into the car. "When I sit in this car, I become my own eyeball."
"Freaky…" Dr. Hoshi commented, surprised by the size of Yoshi's head being on a car.
"What's wrong with the car, Hoshi?"
Dr. Hoshi waved his hands in apologized. "It's not that, it's just…seeing you in your own head is just…well, freaky."
"Oh." Yoshi mused.
Dr. Hoshi chuckled, and then he started to head off in another direction. "Well, good luck, Yoshi. I'll be looking forward to seeing you again."
"Okay, doc!" Yoshi shouted, as Dr. Hoshi left and Yoshi continued to fix his car for the upcoming Yoshi Kart Grand Prix.
May was in her room, which was made by Yoshi. She was still on the phone. "So did you hear about the new race?" May said to Misty.
Misty: who was taking care of her gym; replied on the phone, "Yeah. I heard that 15 entries will be allowed in. Think of how much we could get!"
Both May and Misty started to daydream as they were picturing what they would do with their winnings from racing.
"I'll call you later," May said; she hanged up the phone and walked towards Yoshi. "So how's the car?" She asked, as Yoshi installed homing eggs.
"It's going good, though I should visit my friends first," Yoshi replied: he headed towards a warp pipe and hoped into it, which lead straight to the Smash mansion only to see that it was empty. "What the hell?"
"The others went away to do training." R.O.B. spoke since the robot was there to clean things up.
"Well that sucks." Yoshi murmured upon folding his arms. "Guess I should go and try to get them back?"
The Robotic Operating Buddy nodded his metal head. "Perhaps that would be a wise decision."
So Yoshi up and left, deciding it would be best to find his friends; he first went to the Pokemon world where he went through the Hoenn region by Lilycove to find Pikachu partaking in a Pokemon battle against his fellow pocket monsters since the capsule creatures were vying to see who were the best.
"Yo Pika, you wanna go racing with-"
"Kinda busy here Yosh."
Yoshi wasn't able to get a word in since Pikachu was using his electrical moves to paralyze his foes who seemed to be having a bigger edge on the yellow electric mouse; with all of them being suddenly knocked aside by Gardevoir farting loud stinky blasts of psychic energy.
"Sorry everyone; I kinda overstuffed myself on the berries again with the Pokeblocks!" The Gassy Gardevoir girl apologized in a tone of shame upon noting how embarrassing it was for her to be letting loose such a smelly cacophony of poots. "Peeyew! These are really gonna linger!"
"You should haven't done that." Pikachu chuckled upon having his cheeks spark for he performed an all power Thunder attack that electrocuted everyone including himself; this decidedly ended the battle and the mascot was the winner despite him being knocked out cold with everyone else.
Later on after enough time went through Yoshi was quick to wake up his fellow smashing animal with his tongue which of course got Pikachu to jump right back up.
"Yeah; we'll just pretend that didn't happen." Yoshi commented upon eating up the fruit he brought with him. "So how about you join me with racing around in karts?"
"...I'll think about it." Pikachu spoke upon rubbing his lightning bolt shaped tail. "I just gotta make sure I don't overdo it again..."
Later on Yoshi found himself in Manhattan where Godzilla was fighting King Ghidorah; it seemed like a normal kaiju fight in NYC but it was the New York City of 2000 with Godzilla in his Millennium appearance while Ghidorah had his look from 1998; although granted that didn't mean much in the world of fanfiction but that was besides the point since Yoshi was on top of the World Trade Center, being specifically on the taller structure of the Twin Towers.
"Hey Goji do you want to come race with-" Yoshi asked upon noticing Godzilla firing his atomic breath at Ghidorah that caused the three headed dragon to crash into the Empire State Building.
"Kind of busy here." Godzilla 2000 replied with a grunt for he was suddenly shot at by Ghidorah's lightning like gravity beams.
"Oh what's wrong you oversized gecko; can't handle the electricity?" Ghidorah 98 taunted at Gojira while flapping his dragon wings to cause winds that picked up the smaller buildings and hurled them around with ease.
"...Well gee if you put it that way." Yoshi murmured while rubbing the back of his head. "Hey I've been meaning to ask Ghidrah here why they call him master at times."
"That's easy you dumb dino; I'm a master of chaos!"
"True but he wouldn't be here without us!" Orga added on upon suddenly landing on Yoshi and crushing him.
"A master needs a good sergeant and lieutenant." Gigan added while he slammed his sharp claws together and accidentally fired off an eye laser into the sky.
"Do they though?" Megalon pinpointed while spinning around his hand drills.
"What a dumb excuse!" Mechagodzilla boasted upon firing his many gizmos about which were enough to send Yoshi across the air. "You can be whatever you set your mind to!"
"I'll keep that in mind..." Yoshi said while he went spiraling across the distance towards a cartoony looking mountain with googly eyed creatures abound. "And I think I accidentally found my next destination...!"
Yoshi took his dinosaur butt to the Spiral Mountain where he spotted a certain rare bear and bird hanging out in the grassy meadow: alas 1 particularly warty green watch was watching them.
"My eyes do see what I believe; that dumb dinosaur that likes making sounds that heave!" Gruntilda rhymed upon spying from the top of her lair what was transpiring down below her castle like house.
"Hey do you guys want to come race with us?" Yoshi suggested.
Kazooie chuckled. "Would we yes; that's also a yes when it comes to could: but should we well frankly we just got done with racing nonsense."
"Oh come on Kazooie, we had a fun time flying around in planes." Banjo interjected by the biplane he used for the recently ended Banjo Pilot grand prix.
"Yeah but I find it redundant since I can fly with my own Breegull wings." Kazooie pointed out upon flapping said body parts of hers.
Yoshi rubbed the back of his neck. "Yeah I understand that since I can just run and not need a car of any sort but it wouldn't be fair to the others ya know?"
Yoshi decided to pay a visit to the Looney Tunes.
"Eh what's up doc?' Bugs Bunny greeted while eating a carrot.
"Hey do you want to race with us?"
"Like hell if we do!" Daffy Duck interjected.
"So is that a yes or no?"
"Perhaps I say perhaps we should reconsider!" Foghorn Leghorn declared upon making his rooster presence known.
Yoshi sighed. "You guys are really gonna do this to me huh?"
"Well we are quite busy." Wile E. Coyote interrupted while trying to see which gadget to use to catch a certain speedy bird.
"Fine I get the hint." Yoshi grumbled upon suddenly slipping on a banana peel and crashing into a wall that was stacked with TNT that blew up and sent him soaring across the air only for him to be slammed downwards by an anvil from high up in the air. "...why did I even think to come to this cartoon city...?"
Yoshi decided to go to Bikini Bottom to pay a visit to SpongeBob SquarePants.
"Hey Spongeboy me bob do you want to have a time about racing with me?"
Spongebob whistled while flipping burger patties into the air. "Gee I dunno Yosh; I can't exactly drive a boat!"
"You can do whatever if is that you put your mind to it!"
"Well I thank you for that consideration I really do."
"Like that's gonna make things better."Squidward snarked while he was chuckling and reading one of his magazines.
"He's honestly got a point." Plankton pointed out upon trying to steal the secret formula yet again only to get caught.
Later on Yoshi found himself in a snowy region since he found the Ice Climber twins climbing up a snowy mountain.
"Hey do you wanna come racing with us?" Yoshi asked the parka clothed Eskimos.
"Should we give him an answer?" Popo asked upon feeling his butt rumble.
Nana nodded with a smirk since her stomach grumbled. "Yep! I think he's warranted 1!"
Yoshi felt relieved but that feeling went away immediately when he was greeted with the Ice Climbers farting frosty fumes on him. "This stinks...!"
Yoshi decided to try out a more sporty approach for he noticed a particular bunch of flatulent females playing tennis with each other: he was quick to recognize them respectively as the gassy golfer girl Plum and Melody Pianissima farting.
"Hey I know you're busy with this tooting tennis match!" Yoshi interjected upon having plugs in his nose holes to block out the putrid stink. "...but do you want to come race with us?"
"We're kinda busy-" Plum said upon trying to make use of her golfing skills in playing tennis for she felt her sharts were causing her to stain her smeared shorts even more than they already were. "...and I seriously need the bathroom!"
"Ooh is this so much fun!" Melody giggled in a prideful manner while playfully fanning her poltergeist poots. "These tuba toots of mine are leaving quite the ghastly presence on the tennis court for me to stop!"
"...Eh I figured as such." Yoshi grumbled in disappointment for he took his leave after noticing the green grass was wilting from the messy methane present in the rotten egg scented air.
Eventually Yoshi yawned since it had been a while since he went scouting for his fellow friends to partake in his case; he was casually going through a generic city that he stumbled upon since he was buying and eating the various fresh fruits they were selling in the stalls. "Seems like I should really expand my views on where to go."
"Maybe you should take note of what you're doing." Said a green masked Charizard who happened to be present.
"Chad the Charizard!" Yoshi exclaimed in shock that caused him to poop out his green and white spotted eggs. "Geeze did you evolve fast!"
"Well to be fair there's plenty of my family who all have the Chad name; it's just that it is actually shorthand for our actual name." The green clothed mask wearing Charizard responded upon coughing out several fire type Pokemon attacks that were stuck in his dragon like throat.
Yoshi licked his lips and pulled out a spotted egg of his that had fruit for him to eat since he was feeling quite empty. "You know that explains a lot and I can relate to it since I have to specify my name in such cases myself."
"Well I can tell you that the 'Chad' in my name is shorthand for Chadington."
"...huh; very interesting."
Yoshi sighed for he was getting quite tired of looking around since he figured he did more than enough. "...You know what I think I'll just let several days go by and then I'll actually talk to them about this race; after all I know a spot where time doesn't exist."
Eventually Yoshi managed to have luck in getting his fellow Smashers back at the likely to be overused mansion where they would more properly discuss manners in regard to kart racing... surely this would start the long overdue karting process to race!