Chapter 55: One Fish, Two Fish, Squeezed Fish, Dead Fish

Denzel and Sage were sitting at the kitchen table, listening to Romina Ronkin's Restroom Rampage.

"So I saw a really hot naked guy taking a steam bath the other day," Romina said. "He was smaller than I expected, but I'd still like to jingle his balls next December and get myself a white Christmas."

Sage placed her hands on her mouth and began to laugh uncontrollably.

"Do you even know what that means?" Denzel asked skeptically.

"Yes," Sage replied. "I'm thirteen."

"Why do you listen to that garbage, anyway?" he inquired.

"Because I want to know what she's going to say next," Sage answered.

At that point, Yuffie entered the kitchen. She was wearing a dark blue tank to and a pair of dark blue skinny jeans to match.

"Honestly," Romina continued on the radio, "I'm not going to dwell on it. I mean, a man is kind of like a diaper. He's always full of shit but easily disposed of."

And then, Yuffie began cracking up.

"Aren't you going to yell at me for listening to Romina Ronkin?" Sage asked skeptically.

"Not anymore," Yuffie replied. "That was kind of funny. I guess I just needed to realize I'm not your mother. You're more like my guy and gal friends, I guess."

"Um, thanks?" Denzel said.

Something about that seemed odd.

"Fine by me," Sage said. "I mean, I'm only four years younger than you. The age gap between us is smaller than the age gap between you and Zack."

Yuffie looked at Sage.

"I never realized that," she admitted.

"That means you can always confide in me," Denzel added. "Since I am your guy friend."

Yuffie smiled at him.

"All right," she said, "since you're my guy friend, I need to have a heart-to-heart. Come on back."

With that, she turned and walked down the hall.

Sage began to giggle.

"What's so funny?" Denzel asked.

"You do know where she has her heart-to-hearts with her guy friends, right?"

A MINUTE LATER….

"Denzel," Yuffie began, "are you familiar with President X?"

"Nope," Denzel replied as he faced the bathroom door with his back turned to her. "But I don't think anyone is. He's very secretive. How did he even get elected?"

"I heard he ran unopposed," Yuffie replied.

She was sitting on the toilet with her pants at her ankles.

"Me, too," Denzel. "And what's really weird is that he bought out everyone using the old Shinra Building. But why's it troubling you? Everyone knows this."

"I'm scared, Denzel," Yuffie admitted. "President X sounds like a dictator. And my boyfriend just happens to be the ambassador to the Eastern Continent. I'm starting to wonder if he's been captured. Hell, I wonder if he's still alive."

"I doubt it's anything serious," Denzel said. "I'm sure there's another explanation."

"Like what?" Yuffie asked.

"I dunno," Denzel replied. "But he's only been gone for…."

He stopped himself. It was the longest Zack had disappeared without calling.

Yuffie sighed, and placed her head in her hands.

"He's probably in some kind of trouble," she said sadly. "Oh, Denzel, what am I going to do?"

"You could go to the church and pray," Denzel suggested.

"I'm a Buddhist," Yuffie dismissed. "I don't pray. Besides, the church is only open every other day since the pandemic began. I'd have to go tomorrow."

"So you are thinking about going," Denzel realized aloud.

"I suppose it won't hurt anything," Yuffie agreed. "Okay, I'll go tomorrow. You win. And, who knows? Maybe I'll even find a clue there. Or maybe on the way."

Denzel turned, and smiled.

"Just give it a shot," he assure her. "At the very least, you'll feel better and-."

"Um, Denzel?" Yuffie reprimanded. "Little privacy, please?"

He duly turned around again.

MEANWHILE…..

It was later in the afternoon as I continued to sit on the couch with the spirits of Aerith and Ifalna. I knew Aerith wanted to talk about Zack, and I was eager to hear about my mother, so I got it moving.

"How did you meet him?" I asked.

"He literally crashed into my life," she replied. "I was minding my own business in the church, when he suddenly falls through the roof and lands right on my flowers. I thought he was dead, but he woke up after I said 'hello' to him twice."

FLASHBACK….

Zack's eyes fluttered wide open, revealing that he was alive.

"Hooray!" Aerith exclaimed as she stood up and smiled.

As soon as Zack saw Aerith, he was stunned by how beautiful she was. He observed her emerald eyes, her long hair, and her perfect teeth. For a moment, he actually thought he had died.

"Heaven?" he asked.

"Not quite," she replied. "Church in the slums."

He then sat up and took a longer look at her. To him, she seemed so soft and...comforting.

"An angel?" he asked.

"No," she giggled in flattery as she shook her head. "I'm Aerith!"

She then turned her back to him and pointed to the ceiling.

"You fell from the sky. Scared me."

She then faced him again, smiling.

"So you saved me, huh?" Zack observed.

"Not really," Aerith dismissed as she put her hand to her mouth. "'Hell-llooo!' That's all I did."

Zack laughed, and did a somersault to get to his feet. He liked her right away, and wanted to impress her.

Aerith laughed happily.

"Thank you so much, Aerith," he said as he folded his arms. "I'm Zack. I have to repay you somehow."

"Don't worry about it," Aerith said with a smirk.

It was obvious what she was really thinking: Please ask me out. Please ask me out!

"No, no," Zack insisted. "Hey, how about one date?"

"What is that?" asked Aerith. "Don't be silly!"

Zack sighed.

Aerith smiled again. She had a crush on him the moment she saw him, but still wanted to play hard to get. Gehrig had to have taught her that.

Zack, meanwhile, failed to watch his footing.

"Stop!" Aerith exclaimed. "Don't step on the flowers!"

"Excuse me?"asked Zack as he put his foot on the hardwood.

"Normally, people are more careful with flowers," she reprimanded.

"Well, I guess I'm not normal," he said. He then took another look at the flowers. "You don't see a lot of flowers in Midgar. They're like luxury items around here."

"They only grow here," she explained. "Although I planted some outside my house, too."

Zack took another look at the flowers; this girl seemed to make everything positive.

"If I were you, I'd sell them," he suggested. "Midgar's full of flowers, your wallet's full of money!"

"Midgar, full of flowers," Aerith repeated. "Wallet full of money... I never thought of it that way."

He certainly liked her, but he also realized that he was on the job. He needed to get back to the Shinra Building.

"So do I have to go through the roof again?" he then asked. "Or is there another way out?"

"The exit?" she replied. "That door over there. Going already?"

"Yeah, I should get going," he said. "All right. Thanks again, Aerith."

"Yeah," she said.

Zack began to walk toward the door, but when he reached it, he turned around for another look at Aerith. He was just as smitten with her as she was with him. He couldn't control himself.

"So, are you always here?" he asked.

"Yeah," Aerith replied as she put her hands behind her back. "Hey, so where are you going?"

"I'm not really sure," he answered. He knew there were a lot of people in the slums who weren't exactly fans of the Shinra.

Aerith smiled and went up to him. "I'll take you there, okay?" she offered.

"Where?

"Hmm, I'm not really sure," she echoed as she closed her eyes sheepishly.

Zack immediately figured out her intentions.

"You just want to spend more time with me, right?" he deduced.

"Yeah," she replied as she opened her eyes and gave a flirty smile.

….END FLASHBACK

"And so began our first date," Aerith said. "I led him through the slums. The venue never mattered. There were butterflies everywhere. My friend Gehrig called me over after the date, and I told her everything."

FLASHBACK….

"How tall was he?" Gehrig asked.

"Six feet at least," Aerith replied. "And the cologne he was wearing….it was driving me mad!"

"Don't tell my mom!" Gehrig warned. "She'll try to get into his pants for sure!"

"I heard that!" called Mary Ellen from the other room.

Both girls giggled in unison.

….END FLASHBACK

"Our second date was the aquarium," Aerith continued.

"I know," I said. "I remember reading about that in my husband's memoir."

"That only tells you the good things about that date," Aerith informed me. "It stops when we got to the jellyfish room. Do you know the rest of the story?"

I shook my head.

"It's not nice," Aerith warned.

FLASHBACK…

Beyond the jellyfish room was the kids' area. This included all the notorious touch pools. These were, of course, pools where children could pick up the sea critters and hold them in their hands.

The room was, needless to say, mostly full of excited kids who wanted to meet the sea animals. It produced a charming atmosphere.

Then, out of nowhere, stood Jack and Sumner Balen.

This was the first time that Aerith had encountered them, but their pending actions would cement their image.

They were standing over a touch pool where several clownfish were swimming happily about.

"Sumner," began Jack, "I dare you."

Sumner grinned at his brother.

"That again?" he smirked.

"That again," Jack replied.

"Okie-doke!" Sumner cackled.

He reached into the tank, and went for one of the fish that was near the corner.

The fish was clearly frightened, and attempted to swim away, but Sumner was agile, and refused to give up pursuit.

Finally, Sumner caught the fish, and lifted it out of the tank.

This caught Aerith and Zack's attention, as well as that of the rest of the room.

The poor fish twitched in his hand.

Aerith put her hands over her mouth in horror.

"We got a live one!" Jack announced.

"Check this out!" Sumner said.

….END FLASHBACK

"What happened?" I asked, dreading the worst.

"Sumner squeezed that poor fish so hard its eyes came out!" Aerith replied in a shaky tone of voice.

Ifalna put her arm around her daughter for comfort.

"What happened after that?" I asked.

"Both Sumner and Jack were trespassed from the aquarium."

"I mean with you."

"I got upset, of course," Aerith replied. "Zack took me to a movie and then to dinner, hoping to get my mind off of it. He succeeded. Of course, this is where I took comfort from my religious beliefs. I knew that fish simply returned to the Planet."

She paused.

"And we had more dates after that. He took me to the zoo. He took me to a movie. We met each other's parents. Oh, and, since I had turned sixteen a couple of months earlier, he taught me to drive."

This was something to relate to.

"I taught Tobin to drive," I said. "And he drove me crazy."

"I heard," Aerith giggled. "Of course, I didn't push any friends away because I had a boyfriend. That's why I took Tobin out for his birthday."

I had nearly forgotten about that; she did take him out for his birthday after his girlfriend dumped him.

"That was really nice of you," I complimented.

"Thanks," Aerith said. "He deserved it. Durham was such a bitch to lead him on and then dump him, and then elope with another guy."

That was true about Durham, but I didn't feel like feeding into it. If you already read Tobin's memoir, you know she got what was coming to her.