Trust Issues
Herobrine looked at her in shock when he heard that!
"No!" he snapped sharply, causing Roxana to step back in surprise.
"W-why not?" she asked, obviously confused, leaving Herobrine speechless.
What should he say to her?
He didn't want to overreact like that because he knew she would ask, but he couldn't possibly tell her the real reason, or he would make a complete fool of himself!
Why didn't I respond more calmly? He thought, frustrated, while he searched for an answer that would satisfy Roxana and not embarrass him.
"I... You...you will get lost!" he finally managed to say, earning him an incredulous look.
"Well...yeah, if you give me poor directions," she replied seriously, which only made Herobrine snort in annoyance.
Of course, she would respond like that…
He sighed.
"Let's just say I have a good reason to keep the layout of my castle to myself..." he grumbled eventually, causing Roxana's green eyes to widen, before looking at him in shock.
"I can't believe it," she whispered with a sad shake of her head before turning back to Herobrine with an accusing gaze. "You really think I would take the information I get from you and share it with others so they can later plan an attack or something on you?"
Herobrine looked away when he heard that.
That wasn't the main reason, but he wouldn't argue.
He was just glad he found a reason that Roxana understood and that wouldn't completely embarrass him, so he just shrugged.
"Why not?" he replied curtly. "Steve would do it that way if he weren't half dead, and the other two would be happy to help him!"
"The only reason they're not doing it now is Steve's condition and their unwillingness to get lost and freeze," he added disapprovingly, while she still looked at him incredulously.
"And do you really believe I would do such a thing...?"
Herobrine looked surprised when he heard Roxana's voice, which was now more broken and quieter than before.
He looked up and found her hunched in front of him, but instead of looking at him with kindness or determination, her eyes were dark and sad, like a puppy unfairly punished by its owner.
It really seems to hurt her, Herobrine thought, feeling a pang in his heart as he looked at her But why? What did I do wrong?
"I... well..." he hesitated as he tried to get into a more comfortable position, avoiding looking at her.
Why did he feel so bad?
"So... it would be easy for you... especially since you're a mage. You can create fire and keep warm... and... and than you can snoop around... without me being able to do anything..."
But the real reason I don't want you to go is that I'm afraid you'll just leave me here to die... he added in silence, feeling his heart constrict.
It was a foolish reason, and he hated himself for feeling this way, but most of all he couldn't admit it to her!
"I... I understand," Roxana replied with a soft sigh, brushing a strand of hair behind her ear and briefly smiling before her face turned sad again. "I just thought that after everything that happened, you would trust me by now..."
Herobrine raised his eyebrows in surprise when he heard that.
Oh, that's what sat her of he thought.
However, his surprise quickly faded, and anger instead started to build up inside him.
What did she expect?!
Sure, she helped him and seemed friendly and not hostile, but he didn't give away his trust so easily!
Especially not when all the people he knew had betrayed or deceived him! Nuka was now the only exception to that.
"Well, I'm afraid you'll still have to let me go," Roxana interrupted his train of thought. "If you don't want to die here. But maybe you'll feel better if I leave this here."
With these words, she turned around and retrieved her staff, which she placed next to Herobrine, along with her bag.
"Here, I... I'll leave my staff and the contents of my bag here, so I won't have a way to stay warm or write down everything I see. So... you can be sure I won't snoop around, okay?"
Herobrine looked at her in surprise when he heard that!
"You... You would really leave your staff and all your valuables here?" he asked, to which Roxana just nodded.
Herobrine stared at her in shock!
He still couldn't believe it!
"Wow," he finally managed to say, before turning his gaze away, and he could feel himself starting to smile. "That's very honorable…and trusting...I guess..."
He sighed before raising his head and looking at her with a friendly expression.
"So, all right," he said, "I think I can tell you the way now..."
Herobrine didn't know how long Roxana had been gone.
He had tried to count the seconds to see how long it would take, as he was still afraid that she would just leave and betray him.
However, he had quickly given up, as it only made him sleepier.
And the staff that Roxana had left here, now emitting a soft, warm light that slowly warmed the entire room, didn't make staying awake any easier, but Herobrine knew he couldn't give in to the fatigue.
Otherwise, he probably wouldn't wake up again.
A slight squeak at the door suddenly caught Herobrine's attention!
He jerked away and saw Roxana standing in the doorway, looking quite out of breath.
"I'm back!" she declared a moment later, while Herobrine continued to look at her, still surprised and relieved. "I got a brewing stand and all the ingredients for the potions I need for you and Nuka."
Herobrine smiled as he heard that.
"Good," he replied, and he was surprised at how weak and tired his voice sounded. "You can put everything in the brewing stand over there, and then..."
"Alright!" Roxana quickly interrupted him as she hastily placed the brewing stand on Nuka's desk, which stood next to Herobrine on the wall, before starting brewing a potion in a hurry.
"Here," she continued a moment later, as she knelt down by Herobrine, "Drink! Quickly!"
Herobrine tried to follow her orders, but he had almost no strength left, and his hands trembled violently. Luckily, he managed to grab the bottle and downed it in one gulp.
"Good," Roxana sighed in relief as Herobrine grimaced at the bitter taste. "I'll go to Steve and give him his potion, okay? I'll be right back."
Before Herobrine could answer her or stop her, she had already disappeared through the door. However, he wasn't angry with her.
Instead, he closed his eyes and sighed deeply, while he could feel the potion taking effect, slowly restoring his strength.
He hadn't expected Roxana to come back, but he was very glad she did, even though he now felt guilty for doubting her.
But why should I feel guilty? he wondered. I had a good reason to, and Roxana understood it, even though it hurt her.
But before he could think more about it, the door opened, and Roxana entered.
"Alright," she mumbled more to herself than to Herobrine as she rushed to the brewing stand and began mixing another potion. "Now, to Nuka."
"Here, boy," she continued a moment later before turning around with another bottle and hurrying to Nuka's bed, while Herobrine straightened up and watched thoughtfully, unsure whether he should address what had happened earlier.
"Hey, about earlier..." he began cautiously, addressing Roxana, who was still gently administering the potion to Nuka. "Don't take it too personally."
Roxana startled at the sound of his voice and then turned to look at him with wide eyes.
"What do you mean?" she asked, confused, causing Herobrine to look away.
"That, I don't trust you," he muttered as he put his hands in his pockets and grimaced while looking at her again "I know many would think you're worthy of my trust after everything you've done for me, but it's not that simple! To earn my trust, you have to do much more."
"Like what he did?" Roxana asked, looking at Nuka, to which Herobrine simply nodded.
He had expected a more sarcastic or mocking response, but Roxana was simply unpredictable.
"More or less," he muttered as he, too, turned his gaze to the boy, felling the familiar guilt washing over him. "But I never wanted him to be tortured and almost executed. That just...happened. However, even after being imprisoned and tortured, he still stood by my side, even though he could have saved his life by betraying me."
He sighed.
"I didn't tell him to do that, but he did it anyway, even when he didn't know I would come and save him. That's why he's deserving my trust! And this will be the only way to earn it, now more than ever. So, don't think you did anything wrong."
With these words, he turned away and noticed, on the table where Roxana had carelessly thrown all sorts of ingredients for the potions, a few dried plants he needed for the old potions.
She seems to have taken everything she could see, he thought amused as he approached the table and absentmindedly picked up a plant and prepared it for a potion he often made for Nuka.
"Look, I know I'm not the best... friend for Nuka," he continued guiltily a moment later as he prepared more ingredients for the potion. "And I know there are much better places for him than here, but I... I can't go against his decisions. And he wants to stay here. The only thing I can do is to make sure he doesn't experience something like that again."
He sighed and closed his eyes briefly to calm himself before opening them again, before jolted back in surprise when Roxana suddenly appeared next to him!
"What are you doing?" she asked a moment later, pointing at the plants, while Herobrine continued to stare at her in speechless.
"Uh...making potions?" he replied eventually, causing Roxana to look at him in surprise.
"But these aren't the ingredients for any potion I know!" she protested, to which Herobrine just grinned.
"Of course not," he replied as he took another blossom and carefully removed the seeds. "These belong to recipes that were used long before the invention of your potions. After that, people forgot about them, even though they are easier to make and can still help with more things."
"Really?" Roxana asked, impressed. "Like what?"
Herobrine shrugged.
"Like for better sleep," he replied thoughtfully, giving a brief look at Nuka. "Or improved concentration, helping to reduce fever, and so on."
"Wow!" Roxana replied and seemed genuinely excited. "That's incredible! Can you teach me some of them?"
Herobrine froze when he heard this.
"Teaching you?" he repeated, looking at Roxana, who eagerly nodded. "Why?"
"Well, to help," she mumbled, seemingly embarrassed as she tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, before looking back at Herobrine. "You said it yourself, even though they might not be as strong as the new potions, they can still help with other things. Things that people are still struggling with and with the new ones can't help."
Herobrine couldn't help but smile when he heard that.
Helping Minecrafters was completely against his entire agenda, just as teaching a stranger his secret brewing techniques that he had kept for hundreds of years was.
However, Roxana's enthusiasm and genuine interest flattered him, so he decided to make an exception.
After all, Roxana was a mage and would spend most of her life in Melodia, a place where ordinary people couldn't access, and therefore they would never gain this information.
"Well, I guess I could teach you a few, but we'll need more ingredients from my brewing room," he replied, grabbing a leaf that was lying on Nuka's table and starting to jot down the ingredients, but Roxana just lowered her eyes in disappointment.
"Oh, I see," she murmured sadly, and was about to turn away when Herobrine grabbed her arm and handed her the list.
"What are you looking like at?" he asked when he noticed Roxana's puzzled look. "Go get the items I listed on the paper."
Roxana looked at him in surprise for a moment, but then her face brightened.
"You're letting me go again?" she asked, to which Herobrine just smiled.
"Of course," he replied simply as he returned to the table and continued his work. "You already know the way."