In the wee hours of a Saturday morning in July, the wee hours being the only relief you get from the heat and humidity in Michigan that time of year, I found myself in the back seat of the Cohen family Nomad. Judy was still half asleep and was lying down in the back with the luggage and supplies so I got the back seat to myself with Joanie. It wasn't even starting to get light when we took off. I didn't mind, I hadn't slept anyway and besides, it's a good and hefty drive to the U.P. It's still a long drive but now it's just a straight shot up 75. Then, 75 didn't go all the way and there were interruptions where 10 was 75 for a bit and other places where you'd end up on just two lane highway. It for sure wasn't the great expressway it is now.
We drove for what seemed like forever and then stopped for lunch. Mr. Cohen said we were most of the way to Mackinac City which sort of struck me. That's a ways north. Mr. and Mrs. Cohen looked at each other and smiled and then made some comment about how they were making better time than they thought they would. Judy made this happy squeal and Joanie hugged her parents. I had no idea what was going on. We got back on the road and made Mackinac City in less than half an hour and before I knew it, we were getting ready to board a ferry. I'd heard of the island, I guess but never had been there. It's quite an experience. The ride over to the island was not really any different than the one over to Boblo. Once we were on land, Joanie grabbed my arm and drug me off. The rest of her family didn't even take notice. Next thing I knew, I was in a little shop and Joanie was buying fudge and taffy and then she pulled me back out on the street where we were dodging horse drawn carriages. We rented bicycles and I followed her on a guided-by her-tour of the island. She had obviously been there many times and knew all the history and the cool landmarks like Arch Rock. In time we were in this wonderful grassy spot and we sat down with a couple of cokes she had grabbed and the sweets she bought. I like saltwater taffy and all but taffy is pretty much taffy. But if you've never had Mackinac Island fudge, you need to get some. You won't find better fudge anywhere else, I guarantee it.
We met back up with the rest of her family and found a little restaurant they were familiar with and got some supper. A ferry ride back to the mainland and we were back on our way. I have to say I wasn't at all prepared for the next leg of the trip. I knew Big Mack had been finished by then but I hadn't ever seen it. I had seen the Ambassador Bridge of course; I could see that from the roof. I hadn't even been on it, just never found a reason at that point to head to Canada. But nothing was longer than the Mackinac at that time and I think even now there's only a couple longer in the world. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't nervous about crossing it and I was glad I wasn't driving because I think I would've froze right up.
"Isn't it beautiful?" Joanie asked me. I nodded and I was real glad she took my hand. Damn, if she didn't always know just what I needed. We set out on the bridge and I tried to just see how beautiful it was but all I could see is the bridge collapsing and us dropping into the water. Joanie scooched herself over and laid her head on my chest and just started talking to me about how beautiful the bridge was, how the cables swooped up and down and made such pretty lines and how peaceful the water looked from up there, how you couldn't even see a wave. Next thing I knew and we were in the U.P. and Joanie smiled up at me. I think if I had been with any other girl I would have been shamed to have been that scared but she wasn't teasing or anything. I know now, in my own advanced years that everyone has things that scare them and there's no shame in being a human. Joanie had her own fears and I'd get to know those in time and even be able to get her through some of 'em like she did for me.
I thought once we were north of the bridge, we'd be there but I think at the time I didn't know how much land there was up there in God's country. We made a stop not long after the crossing and everyone got out. Mr. Cohen looked at me and Joanie and asked which one of us wanted to drive. Joanie looked at me.
"You drive and I'll navigate," she said. I took the keys.
It wasn't long before the early start took its toll on Mr. and Mrs. Cohen and they were asleep in the back seat, her head on his shoulder. It was almost hard for me to keep my eyes on the road 'cause I hadn't ever seen people their age that affectionate. Surely not my own folks. Joanie slid over and rested her head on my shoulder.
"Don't fall asleep now," I said, "I won't have the slightest idea where to go."
"I won't," she answered, "I just like being close to you."
There are little moments that come to you now and again and some of them are the terrible sad ones that ambush you and get you near to tears out of the blue but some are the peaceful ones you wish you could just live in forever. Driving into the growing darkness with the radio softly playing and Joanie's head resting against me is one I wish I could just be in forever. If there is a heaven and one day I'm lucky enough to get there, it won't be pearly gates or puffy clouds. It won't even be a day spent with my kids or my wedding day; it would be an eternity of that stillness and peace. We were still young enough that anything was possible. Our love was new and pure and Rosemary Clooney was softly crooning "Hey there, you with the stars in your eyes". Yeah, that's heaven if there is one.
Eventually we got where we were going and pulled up in front of the cabin. There was a lake right next to the cabin and I had to admit it was pretty there. Joanie woke her sister and parents and we set to unloading the car. Everyone was pretty tired so not much got done except for finding our own bags and changing for bed. Joanie and Judy shared a room and I had one to myself. I offered to sleep on the couch in the main room and let the girls have their space but Joanie wasn't having it, there were two cots in the room, she explained and they'd be just fine.
It took me a little bit to fall asleep because it was so still there. It's never quiet in the city and it's never dark either. It was both there and so much so that you'd almost get to thinking that you stopped existing entirely. If someone had communicated to me somehow that I'd gone blind and deaf in the same moment, I would have believed them. You'd think that would make sleep easier but it didn't 'cause I just wasn't used to it. I tossed and turned for a while and then stumbled my way to the main room feeling along the walls and found there was light in there. I let my eyes adjust for a moment and saw that it was Joanie up reading by a small lamp. I sat down next to her on the couch.
"Hey," she said without looking up at me.
"Hey," I replied, "I would've thought you'd be asleep."
"I couldn't," she said and then she turned to me and smiled. "I have an idea, come on."
She took my hand and pulled me outside and into that darkness which I saw was not total darkness. There was a near full moon that night and it cast quite a light. I let Joanie pull me down to the lake where she sat down on the sand of the beach area there. I sat next to her. It was a warm night and I think a little unusual for that far north to still be that warm after dark. Joanie pushed me to lie down on the sand and she snuggled close to me and rested her head on my chest.
"Listen to the water," she said and I did listen to it softly lap at the land. "You can't hear it inside but it's very relaxing."
"You're suggesting we sleep out here?" I asked, "Outside, I mean?"
She giggled at me, "People do sleep outside, you know."
"But, aren't there animals out here?" I argued.
"None that care anything about us," she said.
We did fall asleep right there, curled up together by the lake. The breeze and the sounds from the water were very soothing and soon I found I didn't care about what animals might be in the woods. I had Joanie in my arms and that was all I needed for sleep.
Now one thing you need to know is that when you sleep outside without anything over your head at all, not even a tent, you will wake at very first light. I was actually grateful for that since I didn't know how her folks would react to finding us cuddled on the sand together. We were both fully clothed but even so, a lot of parents would have some issues with that. But it didn't matter because we were up before anyone else and Joanie got coffee and breakfast started. I helped a bit. I've gotten much better through the years at cooking at the cabin but at that time I really didn't know what I was doing.
That week showed me everything I had been missing by living in the city. It was quiet and relaxed. We fished and walked in the woods which was something that scared me half to death at first but Joanie knew her way around and I grew to trust her. Judy was less annoying as the week went on; except for the day it rained.
We had lucked into a week of near perfect weather but there was the one day that it started raining before dawn and kept it up until after sundown. We played cards and other board games but Judy was prone to boredom so when Joanie and I tried to sit alone and talk for a bit, she set to pestering us. Luckily Joanie's folks saw it and distracted her so we could get some alone time. I think that's where Joanie got that sixth sense about when to step in and how to handle people.
I got to know Joanie's family real good that week. I don't just mean her dad and mom and sister, I mean the whole family history. The Cohen's were forced out of Russia by the Cossacks. I didn't even know that the Jews had been treated like that in Russia. It was humbling to hear how they had been forced out of their villages and scattered to the winds like that. I think I better understood and respected Zaydeh Cohen and disliked Bubbe Goldman all the more. She chose to come to a place where she didn't want to fit in and then fought it all the way. I know that if they had stayed in Austria, they would have been fleeing in time. But still, I guess I just look for excuses not to like that woman.
When you're born in this country, especially if your family has been here for generations, you forget the desperate circumstances that brought so many to our shores. Joanie's family was I guess an example of the reason for the words on the Statue of Liberty. It's so easy to get bogged down in fighting among ourselves and putting down anyone different. We forget that nearly all of us used to be the different ones. We forget that people came here for hope, not for people to try to take that hope away. I know, I'm sounding like Joanie used to. I don't mind it; I always respected that about her. I used to sometimes call her my battle maiden or warrior princess. When that Xena show came on the air years back that got to be her nickname for a while. She'd swat me and say "Oh James" and roll her eyes but there was a smile that said she was damned proud to be that fighter. I was damned proud of her too.
The last day we were there before we left was the perfect lazy day. We went swimming a bit and fished a bit and lay on the beach listening to music a bit. It was such a wonderful day and a part of me wanted to stay there forever. I guess that's the test of a good vacation though. If you are looking forward to getting back to your life, you couldn't have been having that good of a time. I suppose I was looking forward to seeing the guys again but it would've suited me just fine if they came up and I didn't have to go back home.
Night came and Mr. Cohen built a fire on the beach. We roasted marshmallows and made s'mores. That trip was the first time I had done either of those things. We sang songs around the fire, mostly old folk songs like Michael Row the Boat Ashore and things like that. Judy told a couple of silly ghost stories that she'd heard at Girl Scout camp. They were good for a laugh anyway.
You know I think what felt the best about that week wasn't the chance to relax or the roasting marshmallows or swimming or fishing or even the time I got with Joanie. It was seeing what a real family was like and seeing it from the inside. I know at that time I was just the boyfriend but I was treated like a member of the family. Mrs. Cohen would even hug me and kiss my cheek before she went off to bed just like I was one of her kids. Mr. Cohen quit shaking my hand and was more likely to clap me on the shoulder. Even Judy quit looking at me like she wished I was dating her and started looking to me like a big brother. I can't begin to explain what that meant to me or how it felt. A lot of people take that for granted and I guess it's something you should be able to. I know I worked hard to make it so my kids could take that family feeling and love for granted.
Mr. and Mrs. Cohen turned in for the night and Judy had to also. That left Joanie and me on the beach lying on a blanket looking at the stars. Al was right; there was more of 'em up there. I know that's not true, it's just that you can see more of them because there's no light pollution that far away from everything.
Joanie was so close to me I could feel her breath on my neck. Her voice was so soft it sort of seemed like it was coming from one of those tiny bits of light so far off in the distance. I turned my head and kissed her real deep. I could feel her snake her hands under my shirt. I was surprised because she hadn't ever done anything quite like that before but I took it as an invitation. I loved and respected that woman but I was not going to pass a chance to cop a feel, especially since she had worn that dress to prom that hinted at what was under her shirt. I wasn't disappointed but I was surprised when she began to undress me and to help me undress her. I panicked a second 'cause well, I had what the kids these days refer to as "protection" but they were in my wallet which was in the cabin. I started to tell her that. I really didn't want her to have to give up all of her plans because I knocked her up. That wasn't the deal we had.
Actually, to be honest, my first argument had nothing to do with the rubbers in my wallet and everything to do with having to ride an ungodly number of hours in a car with her father the next day.
"I'm just not sure I can face him for that long the morning after I…" I wasn't even sure how to finish that.
"After you deflowered his daughter?" she finished and somehow that sounded worse than anything I would have come up with even. I nodded.
"Well, I'm tired of being flowered," she said with a wicked smile but then she got real serious. "I want to make love with you James. It's so perfect here under the stars with the moonlight."
I had to agree it was but still there was the issue of what was still yards away inside the cabin but she had an answer to that too.
"Haven't you heard of the pill?" she asked.
I had, in fact. It was real new but some girls I guess had been getting it for a while. All they had to do was tell their doctors they was having real bad periods or something like that and they could have it. It was really out for birth control at that time so I don't know if Joanie pulled a fast one on her doctor or just told him she wanted to have sex and not get pregnant but she was on it. I still wasn't sure about it, the sex I mean. You can't get a do-over on your first time. I will grant that she couldn't have had a nicer setting and I sure would do everything I could to make it good but I think a part of me wasn't sold on how she felt about me. If she woke up the next day or week or even month and didn't want me anymore, she might regret giving this to me and not still having it for someone else.
But then I looked at her naked in the moonlight and I don't recall another thought in my head for quite some time. We spent most of the night on the beach naked and holding onto each other before we went back inside the cabin to get some sleep and have the appearance of having slept in our own beds. I didn't want to let her go and she was clinging to me as well. I didn't sleep a wink and from the look of Joanie the next morning, neither did she.
I took the first driving shift and even crossed the bridge behind the wheel. Once I turned the driving over to Mr. Cohen, I fell asleep in the back seat of the Nomad. I woke when we pulled up to Joanie's house to find her head resting in my lap. I had a flash of panic that they would be able to tell, that they would know what we'd done but I think I was just being silly. I drove home from Bloomfield in the dark and called Joanie when I got home to prove to her that I'd made it safely and then I sat on the roof all night. I'm sure I slept up there a little but not much.
Okay so things are for sure serious now...if they weren't enough before. So, um, the U.P. would be the Upper Pennisula. Here in Michigan we are actually made up of two pennisulas, upper and lower. The part that looks like a mitten is the lower (I live in the lower) but there is another. The Mackinac Bridge was completed in 1957 or 58 and at the time was the longest suspension bridge in the world and is still the 3rd largest in the world and the largest in the western hemisphere. Mackinac Island is a small island off of northern Michigan. No motor vehicles are allowed on the island so it is feet, horses or bikes to get around. Really cool place and I am not kidding about the fudge...it's the best! Um all the talk of 75 and 10, those are expressways but the expressway and highway system was still very much a work in progress at that time. Oh God's Country is what we call the U.P. If you've ever been there, it's what you would call it too. Miles upon miles of still unspoiled wilderness. Breathtaking. A Nomad is a station wagon made by Chevy. Oh and the birth control pill was not available as a method of birth control until early summer of 1960. Before that it was only approved in the US for treatment of menstrual problems. I think that covers it all.
I'm sorry it took so long to get this chapter up...I tried writing yesterday but I was still reeling from Wednesdays news of the plane crash in Russia. Three of the men killed in that horrible accident were former members of the Red Wings. Many of the others, I knew by name or reputation. It is a horrible tragedy and the worst of it might be that so many of the men were hockey players and fairly young which means they leave behind young families, wives and small children. One of the players, I am told, his wife is three months pregnant. I spent nearly all Wednesday crying and parts of Thursday and Friday as well. I am still calling it Friday because it's 1am here so that doesn't really count as a Saturday yet. I think I am over the worst of the shock but it is still very heartbreaking. It has been a tough summer for the hockey community. If any of you dear readers is a praying person and can spare a prayer or two, please say an extra one for the families of those lost in the plane crash as well as the one player who is still clinging to life. His name is Alexander Galimov. Also if it's no trouble, Derek Boogard, Rick Rypien and Wade Belak also lost their lives this summer as a result, directly or indirectly, of mental illness and/or substance addiction. Their families are hurting just the same as anyone else who loses a loved one far too early. Thank you and please take care of yourselves. I may not know you all but I do love you. Every one of you.-J