Joanie left before it got too late so she could head to temple with her family. It was kind of sad waking up without her but I was starting to truly believe that one day I'd be able to count on waking up next to her every morning and that was enough to get me through that loneliness. I wasn't expecting Joanie back until evening because she said she had some school work to attend to. In time we'd come to a point where she'd come back to me and do her work while I went out for a walk or just sat around reading or something. But at that time we weren't quite there yet. So I decided to head over to Al's and see if he was getting any of the football games on the radio. He smiled when he saw me walk up and I saw Buck and Ike were sitting there too and listening to the game with him. Annie and Carol looked a little disappointed it was only me and that I hadn't brought my prettier half with me. I explained where she was and I knew they understood but I think they still wished she was there. It did my heart good to know they thought almost as highly of her as I did. Kid and Lou weren't there but I knew that Lou's mom and been doing especially poorly and she was spending a lot of time at the hospital those days. Kid went along to support her and to look after Theresa. That little girl didn't need to be spending all her time in a hospital room watching her own mother waste away and die.
It was a lazy day sitting and listening to the games. We flipped back and forth on the radio dial to get the MSU and the U of M games and know what was going on with both teams. Talk was light and the kind that men have when things are going pretty damned good in their lives. The girls had headed over to Emma's to visit while we cheered on the good guys on the gridiron. We noted that there was a more visible belly on Carol than we'd seen before and I pointed out that Annie looked more settled and relaxed than I'd ever seen her so married life must agree with her.
"Or, at least married life with you, Ike," I said and he blushed. I meant it too. Those two were good for each other and Ike knew it too. We talked about work. Ike was working in the little grocery that Annie's dad owned and Buck had a warehouse job. It was hard work but it's the kind you don't mind so much when you're young and strong. In time he got a maintenance job with the city and he eventually retired out of there with a good pension and had made a right good living for himself. Right then, the job was just a paycheck and a way to keep a roof over his growing family's head. We only tiptoed around Kid's decision. Being men, we all understood it but it was hard and a little scary but then we were proud of him too. I know people are a lot more cynical about armed services these days but in those days the men who came home were all heroes. They were the folks we saluted on Memorial Day and Veteran's Day and the Fourth of July. They were revered and respected. No one then could fathom a time when soldiers returning from a war would be spat upon or end up homeless and denied medical care by the very government that sent them over to get injured in the first place. In our craziest thoughts, those realities never would have appeared but that's how things went down after a while.
Still, we all grew up on those great WWII war movies and even a few from Korea too. John Wayne and Gregory Peck and Steve McQueen fighting to save the world from the evil people who killed their own civilians or attacked us on our soil-never minding for even a second that Hawaii wasn't technically a state when Pearl Harbor was bombed-or vowed to spread communism and all its inherent evils around the world. The soldiers in those movies saved the innocent and the weak and made the world safe for freedom. So we were proud of Kid though we couldn't say so out loud to Lou without getting the look. You know what I mean. Every woman has that look she can give a man that can wilt him in his tracks. Joanie once told me a myth from Greece about a lady named Medusa who could turn men to stone if they looked in her eyes. I didn't have the guts to tell her all women have that skill whenever they choose to use it. I'd have gotten the look for sure if I'd said that. Once the games was over I went back to my place to wait for Joanie. We was going to pick up some dinner and bring over to Kid and Lou's and play some euchre. When Joanie drove up, I knew those new glasses of hers were still causing her some fear. She didn't know Kid and Lou like I did or she wouldn't have worried at all but she was worrying. We got over to Kid and Lou's place and I went in ahead carrying things.
"Hey Kid," I said, "Listen, I know it's kind of silly but Joanie just had to get glasses and she's a little nervy about it so if you could just avoid teasing about them?"
I knew he'd never say anything to be hurtful but we were a bunch that spent a lot of time kidding at each other so I wanted to be sure. I knew Lou, being a girl herself, would somehow just be able to tell that Joanie was feeling bad about them. Women have a telepathy or something about things like that.
"I won't say anything," he assured me.
We ate and talked and laughed and I couldn't help but think of what Kid had said to me that someday years later we'd all be like that again or still and all of our worrying for things would be memories we could laugh at. I really hoped he was right. I really did.
Lou looked tired but she had this inner light too. I saw her pregnant more than once and that thing they say about women glowing was sure true about her. I caught her alone in the kitchen taking in some dishes and stuff.
"I haven't had much chance to talk to you since, well, you know," I said, "How are you holding up?"
"Better," she said, "I'm still scared but I don't know what I'm scared most of anymore. At first I was just scared that something would happen to him but now I think I'm more scared of being a mother and maybe not being a good enough one or not knowing what to do. And then I get scared that we'll be stationed far away and I won't have anyone to help me."
Lou was just a slip of a thing and at that moment she looked even smaller and more fragile. I hugged her.
"You're already a great mother," I told her, "Theresa's going to be a fine young lady just because of you and ain't none of us ever going to be any farther than the telephone. Besides, there'll be other wives wherever you are and some of 'em are bound to have kids too and be able to help you."
"Thank you, Jimmy," she said all muffled into my shirt and she squeezed me once more before pulling away and stacking the dishes in the sink and setting them to soak a bit. "I might need you to remind me of that a few more times."
"I will," I said, "As often as you need me to."
"Joanie seems to be settling in at school," she said changing the subject.
"Yeah," I said and then I ventured out on what was, for me anyway, a pretty chancy limb. "Do you think it's really possible for a girl like her to really love a guy like me?"
Lou looked at me for a second her forehead all wrinkled up and then she started laughing and I mean she doubled herself over she was laughing so hard at me. I can look back on it too now and laugh but at the time I was confused and I think a little upset at her reaction.
"What are you laughing at, Lou?" I asked or really demanded of her.
She straightened back up and wiped at her eyes and tried to collect herself a bit but couldn't completely stop her laughter.
"Oh Jimmy," she choked out through her laughter. "Is this really the kind of thing keeping you up nights?"
I nodded like I felt guilty about it though I wasn't sure why I should.
"Well," she began and she'd mostly collected herself by that time. "Whether it's possible or not, she does. And I don't even see why it would be all that impossible. I think you've been selling yourself short with some of the bimbos you've been dating. I always thought you deserved better. It's hard to see you keep getting hurt all this time."
She rubbed circles on my back in the same way I'd seen her do for Theresa when the girl was sad or had skinned her knee or something.
"Now you don't go messing this up either," she warned, "She really loves you, Jimmy. You just take care of that now and don't go pushing her away like you do when you get scared."
I nodded and knew she was right. I don't know why women seemed so much smarter than men or maybe it was just what they knew was the stuff that seemed so mysterious that it made them all seem like geniuses. But I knew she was right. Joanie wasn't going anywhere unless I sent her there and I'd pushed girls away before that got too close and scared me. But I think I pushed them away because they weren't the ones I was supposed to be spending my life with. Joanie was. I knew I didn't even need to ask her because she knew it too. Well, that got some wheels turning in my head, I can tell you that.
Later that night with Joanie asleep in my arms, I got to thinking about what was possible and how sometimes the impossible just happened. I remembered one of the rare times I was paying attention in science class and the teacher was saying how a bumblebee shouldn't be able to fly, that its wings were just too small for the weight and shape of its body. But I've seen bumblebees fly and I guess they do it because no one ever bothered to tell them that they can't. And I guessed Lou was right, whether it was possible or not for us to be together and love each other and make each other happy, the fact remained that she was there in my arms right then. She looked to me for strength and encouragement and just by doing that she made me feel strong and courageous. I kissed her forehead and she nuzzled deeper into me. There was nothing more for me to do but hang on and enjoy the ride.
Weeks went by in much this same way. I would sometimes go and take her to dinner and save her from the dining halls and we would walk around campus enjoying the fall colors and then weekends she'd come see me.
Kid left for training and Lou spent even more time over to Emma's. I looked in on her nearly every day like I promised Kid I would. Hell, I'd have done it without making the promise. I knew Lou was more than capable of taking care of herself and Theresa and even the baby when it came and she had people to turn to but I wanted to make sure for myself that she was alright. And I knew there were fears she didn't share with just everyone. She didn't like to bother Kid with her fears when he called because they had so little time to talk and she was trying to bolster him and keep a brave face. And for the other women, she shared little still. She knew Emma but the other girls not so much. Me, she'd tell anything to and she knew I understood because if anyone came close to loving Kid as much as she did, it was me. I wouldn't have said it then but then times was different. For everything that was better then, not everything was. Today I don't think it's as big a deal for a man to admit any feeling he has. We seem to want to talk about feelings all the time now. I'm not saying that's entirely better either because sometimes I think you just got to suck it up and go about your business but when it comes to telling your family you love them, well, that's the kind of feeling that shouldn't have to stay a secret. .
One week, toward the end of September, I got a call from Bill wondering if me and Joanie wanted to come see the big game up in East Lansing and he'd snag us tickets if we did. I said sure, I was up for it but when I talked to Joanie she got real quiet. I knew she wasn't a huge football fan but she usually cared whether Michigan won or not and this was the Michigan/Michigan State game. I pressed her on it and she told me that she had to be in temple Saturday. I told her I knew that but that temple would be out in plenty of time. She shook her head and I wasn't worried so much as just confused. Joanie never refused to talk to me and she was never one to hide from me either. I guess she was acting kind of ashamed and I had never seen that from her, not like this. I think the first time she had one of her panic episodes, that day in her dad's car at school; she looked close to ashamed afterward but more to everyone else and not so much to me. Now she wouldn't meet my gaze and I just didn't know what to think. I kept pestering her though. That was usually the right thing to do with Joanie. At least for me, anyone else she'd clam up and never say a word but eventually if I badgered her long enough, she'd talk to me. And she did.
Seemed this Sabbath was different. It's what they called Yom Kippur and it was a really special day. She called it a 'high holy day' and I could see it was really important to her. She told me that she had to fast and there were services on Friday night too so she wouldn't be over until Saturday night or Sunday morning. She said it like I was going to tell her not to bother or something. I don't know what she was thinking I was going to feel about it but there's lots of people who fast and things like that for their religions. Hell, we was right close to Hamtramck and lots of the folks there was catholic and they had days they fasted or couldn't eat certain things. I kissed her and told her I'd see her when she came over and to spend what time she wanted and needed with her family. I asked Al later if he'd ever heard of this holy day and he said he had. When Hank Greenberg was playing, he was the first Jew in the Major Leagues, you know. Anyway, he wouldn't play on Yom Kippur because you just can't expect a guy to be fasting and play a decent game of baseball. Besides, he was in temple all day. Nowadays I hear of more and more guys who take Yom Kippur off. Ain't nothing wrong with sticking to your faith. Sometimes in this world, faith is all we got and it pays to hold on to it.
So when I saw Lou the next day at Emma's I asked her if she wanted to keep me company. I knew that she enjoyed a game as much as any of the guys and she rarely got to watch or listen to them anymore 'cause she was always with the women. I thought it might be nice for her to get to see Bill and maybe a day out of the city would do her some good too. She made sure that Emma didn't mind watching Theresa before saying she'd go. It was a nice drive up to East Lansing with the colors all on.
It was nice to see Bill. Guys aren't always the best letter writers and we weren't high on his list of folks to use his telephone time on so we hadn't heard a heck of a lot from him since he left for school. He seemed to be doing well and he was his same old self, still kind of annoying but there's a comfort in the things that don't change. He had a girl with him and I don't remember her name. Bill wasn't often without female company but most of 'em didn't stick. I didn't always understand it either because he wasn't quite the same around women as he was around men. He could be real sweet to the girls and you'd think one of them would have hung onto him. But it looked for a while like none of 'em was ever going to. We had a good time though Bill had a better time because his team won that day. Michigan pulled out a winning record that season but lost the two games that mattered most. I think most wolverines could be satisfied with a two-win season if those wins were against Michigan State and Ohio State.
We stayed in East Lansing for a while after the game just to spend time with Bill. It's a nice campus up there with a river running right through it and lots of trees all pretty colored and we walked around and grabbed a bite to eat. I filled Bill in on all the things going on with the gang though I knew Lou and Emma had been writing him and Emma had been sending him care packages of cookies too. I could tell he was pretty bothered by Kid joining up too. He'd been learning a little more about the conflict over there in one of his classes and he said it looked like it wasn't a winnable situation and if we stayed in, it was going to get real ugly for our boys. He tempered his words around Lou not wanting to upset her more but still it made for a somber mood on the drive home.
"They probably won't send him over there," I said. "Even if Bill's right and things get nasty, it won't be for a while and they aren't sending too many of our boys there right now. I'll bet he never even leaves the good old U.S. or he gets some assignment in Germany or something."
Lou just nodded. I had to find some way to lighten things up.
"He'll be home for Christmas, right?"
"Yeah," she said, "He'll be done with training and waiting to know where he's stationed, but he'll be away still on Thanksgiving."
"Maybe we'll have to have a party for Christmas when he comes home," I said hoping that a party would perk her up a little.
"Would Joanie be there?" she asked and the question puzzled me. I couldn't tell if she didn't want to see Joanie or what. They had always seemed to get along.
"I would guess so, why?"
"Jews don't celebrate Christmas," she said.
"How do you know that?" I asked and I wasn't doubting her or anything, I just wanted to understand more. I had my reasons for wanting to better understand Joanie's religion and its traditions.
"Remember Esther Greenblatt?" she asked and I nodded. "Well, she's Jewish and she told me that they have something else that time of year called Chanukkah and they don't do Christmas. It would be a shame if Joanie wasn't there to celebrate Kid being home with us because it's a Christmas party."
"I'll ask her about it but I guess we could make it a New Year's party or something if we have to."
Wow, no Christmas; I had no idea. I understand now that there are a lot of people in the world who don't celebrate it but at that time it seemed strange that someone wouldn't.
Sorry this took so long...I actually had this chapter almost entirely written yesterday afternoon and then I did my normal fact checking and realized that I had to re-write most of the chapter. So here is is finally. Um...Yeah, Yom Kippur is coming early next month and Rosh Hashana (Jewish New Year) is next week...getting ready to party like its 5772! Whoohoo! So, um...MSU is a beautiful campus and that wasn't just my Sparty love that had them win the game in the story...you can look up the 1960 Michigan/Michigan State game played on Oct 1 which did happen to be Yom Kippur that year. And the river running through campus is called the Red Cedar. It's very picturesque. I guess there's not much more to explain in this one...-J