It wasn't too long after that when I asked Al for an afternoon off and I called to make an appointment. I figured if I was going to do this then I might just as well do it right. Well, Wednesday rolled around and I drove out to Bloomfield Hills and to this nice old house that had been converted to office space with a sign out front reading Berger, Cohen and Shapiro, Attorneys at Law. I had never been to a lawyer's office before but there's a lot of things I never done before meeting Joanie. I had spiffed up some and was wearing chinos and a good button up shirt and it was possible to comb the hair in a way I looked a little more like Ricky Nelson than Jerry Lee Lewis so more all-American boy than crazy, cousin-marrying borderline pedophile. I walked in and told the nice lady at the desk who I was and that I had an appointment with Jacob Cohen. She nodded and I sat down. I'd barely picked up a magazine that didn't look too bad when she called to me and led me down a hallway to a door with Mr. Cohen's name on it. She opened the door and announced me. I have to admit at that moment I still held the thought it might be possible to turn and run but that's not what I was out there to do. He looked up at me like he had thought maybe there was another James Hickok out there who was coming to see him that afternoon. I just smiled. We shook hands and I sat down in a chair opposite his desk.
"Has it gotten that hectic with Joanie at school that you have to make an appointment to see me?" he asked with a smile. I know I could have called and asked to meet with him or even discussed this over the phone but frankly, I didn't have the guts. I knew I could call and talk to a secretary and once the appointment was made I wouldn't be able to bring myself to break it.
"I'm sorry to interrupt your work day, sir," I said and he waved the comment like it was nothing.
"Gladys and I were just saying the other day we'd have to have a family dinner and maybe Joanie would see fit to bring you," he said and the ease he spoke with told me such a conversation had actually happened. "We've missed seeing you around."
I ducked my head not sure at first how to react. I'd never had a girl's parents say anything like that. Hell, aside from Al and Emma, no one older than me ever missed seeing me as far as I'd known. It made me curious and the curiosity made me bolder.
"If I can ask," I began and saw Mr. Cohen's nod that said I could ask anything. "Why didn't you send me packing the first time you laid eyes on me? She's too good for me, you know."
Mr. Cohen smiled and I thought at first he might even laugh.
"Remember when Joanie was moving into her dorm and she shut herself in the car?" he asked like anyone was ever going to forget that day. He didn't even wait for an answer and I know now that questions like that are called rhetorical. "She told you some things about me that day. Do you remember all she said?"
I nodded, I did remember every word.
"What she didn't mention, because it wasn't relevant to why she was so upset, is that the Goldman's were very well off," he paused a moment reclaiming the memory. "Mr. Goldman was actually Dr. Goldman so he was learned and they had money. Neither he nor Mrs. Goldman wanted Gladys to see anything of me. I was very poor. My father had been able to turn his little apple cart into a small grocery after the depression but there was not much money left after necessities were paid for. I never went hungry and I had clothes on my back but they were secondhand and anything else I needed or wanted, I had to take care of myself. He couldn't even afford to pay me for the hours I worked in the grocery. For money, I took a paper route and made deliveries for other businessmen. They couldn't afford to pay me much but a few coins in my pocket were more than I had before. When I met Gladys, she was the most beautiful creature I'd ever seen in my life and I didn't know why but she seemed to like me too. It was hard for her to spend time with me over her parents' objections but she did it anyway. Joanie got a lot of her spunk from her mother. After Gladys got her teaching degree, while I was still working through law school, we got married. Her parents hated the idea but they went along."
He stopped talking and looked at me a moment like he was reading me then he spoke some more.
"I have two beautiful, intelligent daughters and I want only the best for them," he went on, "The best thing they can be is happy. We have money, James. I know you know that but money doesn't make one person better than another and it doesn't make you happy. If I hadn't gone to college and had taken over my father's store, Gladys would still have been a teacher and we wouldn't have starved but we wouldn't have some of the things we have. We would have still been happy though; do you know why that is?"
I shook my head.
"We would have been together," he stated, "Your friends who just got married this summer, would any of them be happier if they'd married someone wealthy?"
I shook my head and it was quiet for a bit before I realized it was my turn to talk. I'd never known anyone like Mr. Cohen before. Al treated me like a son but Mr. Cohen treated me like an equal.
"I don't have an education, or money, or even a family to bring her to meet," I said, "My friends are in love and that's why they got married, even Buck and Carol who kind of had to. But none of them ever expected any better than what they have. They all came from the neighborhood and they all expected to marry someone from the neighborhood and struggle like they always have. Joanie is used to better."
"Joanie is used to things," Mr. Cohen clarified, "But those don't make things better. She's seen a marriage where people love and respect each other and those are her standards for dating and few young men have even come close to that standard."
He paused and studied me for a moment.
"Now did you drive all this way to tell me you're not worthy of my little girl?" he asked, "Because that's not your call to make, nor is it mine. I told you my girls are intelligent and I have to respect their choices because most of the time, they do a pretty good job of making those choices."
Well, here it was, there was no dodging it any longer.
"No sir," I said, "I didn't come here for that. I came to ask something of you. I don't suppose it's too much of a secret that I love Joanie." He shook his head and I continued. "I thought maybe she'd head to school and start finding some other guys who were maybe better suited for her but she hasn't, not yet anyway. I promise I would never stand in the way of the plans she made with getting her education and all but I wanted to ask permission to really court her and maybe someday, if she's willing, marry her."
He smiled like he just thought of a joke that I wouldn't understand even if I heard it. He was right too because being a father myself now and having sat on the other side of the table more than once, I know what he was thinking of. Nearly every man has been there and it's like a special club but you don't really get to join until you go full circle and you've been both the man seeking the blessing and the man with the power to give it.
"You're looking for a blessing, then?" he asked.
"Yes, sir," I answered.
"Someday, God willing," he started, "You'll have children and you'll have the prospect of them marrying and moving into that part of their lives. It's a beautiful thing to see your child grown and see the woman or man she or he has grown into but it's scary too. When they are babies, you can hold them tight to you and protect them from everything out there. You can control everything in their world. As they grow, you have to let go a little at a time and you start to prioritize. A baby you can look at and say this one will go to Harvard and be a doctor but a young lady or young man you start to say, this one should be happy. It's not that Harvard is bad or that you think your child can't get there but you start to see a little personality, a unique little person all their own and you know that your plans might not be theirs. And more important, your plans might not make them happy. You start to understand that if your child is a plumber or a ditch digger that you can be proud of them and happy for them if they are happy. Do you understand, James?"
I wasn't sure I did.
"When it comes to your child finding love," he went on, "You start with the thought that there would be this ideal and perfect person, he will be handsome and Jewish and from a good home and wealthy and smart. As it goes on, you see which of those things you truly care about. You are a handsome young man, James and whether I, or Gladys or even Judy thinks so, Joanie does and her opinion is what counts. You are intelligent even if you haven't had the formal education some others have. But more important than those things, you are a good and kind man. Joanie loves you and lights up when she talks of you. You respect my little girl and you treat her with tenderness. Most of all, I know you would never hurt her. I can ask for no more. The fact that I like you too is a benefit and makes it a little nicer thinking that someday you could be my son-in-law. A blessing you want and a blessing you shall have."
I didn't even know what to say especially since the man was studying me like I don't even know what.
"You look surprised, James," he said.
"I am," I said.
"You drove all this way and even scheduled a formal appointment with me honestly thinking I would shoot you down?"
I just looked at my hands in my lap.
"Let me ask you something," he went on, "If I had said no, what would you have done?"
"I don't rightly know," I answered.
"James," he said, "I question people for a living and I'd be pretty lousy at my job if I didn't know a load of crap when I heard it. You at least half expected me to say no but you came out here anyway. It doesn't add up that you had no plan B."
"I guess I would have found a way," I said, "I don't think I could live without her. I know I wouldn't want to."
He laughed a little but not in a mean way.
"Well then," he said, "If you're just going to find a way to marry her anyway-whether it's just going against my wishes or convincing me I was wrong-I might just as well give the blessing."
I think I finally let a smile through. I knew I had earned some respect there and earning something is a good feeling whether it's money or respect.
"You know what, James?" he said and I looked up at him. "I don't have another appointment today. I think I might just take off early. Can I buy my future son-in-law a beer?"
"I could go for a beer," I said smiling, "But I wouldn't go jumping the gun just yet. I don't even think she'd say yes if I asked her right now."
He nodded as he came out from behind the desk and put his arm around me like we was old pals.
"You are a smart man," he said, "And if you're as smart as I think, you won't go telling her about this meeting until you've been married at least ten years and have at least one child. It would offend her feminist ideals terribly."
I knew that already. I had even questioned whether I should meet with the man but I was glad I did. Mr. Cohen and I had a good understanding from then on and I was able to feel a lot more comfortable around him after that.
It was nice to spend the afternoon tipping back a few with Mr. Cohen. He was really cool. I hope I've been that cool as a dad and even just as an adult. It also gave me a chance to ask him about a few different things that had been on my mind. Well those things and talking about how the Tigers had been a disappointment that season but the Wings might just be okay and maybe the Lions wouldn't completely embarrass themselves.
The rest of the week I was in the best mood I had been in for quite some time. I was humming and I think Al thought maybe I had taken to drugs or something but things was just finally looking good for me. I guess I never thought much about hopes or anything before I met Joanie. I just went from day to day and broken car to broken car. Being something to my friends and being someone that Al could trust in his place was the most I thought I could hope to achieve. Now I was looking for real at being someone's husband and maybe having kids and just the thought felt damned good, I can tell you.
The good feeling I had only lasted until Friday when Lou walked into the shop crying and barely able to stand for her tears. Her mom had passed in the night. I held her hand while she sat at Al's desk and called Kid. He tried to get the Army to let him come for the funeral but it just couldn't be arranged so I helped her with the plans for the burial and all that. I'd never done anything like that before but there was no way Lou could do it all herself. Joanie skipped her classes on Monday and joined all of us for the funeral. We hadn't known Lou's mom all that well but we weren't there for her as much as for Lou and Theresa. Emma invited everyone over to her place after the service. It was somber but Lou was feeling better for everyone around her. It's not like it was a shock or anything but it was sad for her and she needed all of us to help her through. Joanie came up to me in Emma's living room and touched my arm.
"Maybe you should sit and talk to her a while," she said gesturing to where Lou sat on the porch all alone. Joanie knew that Lou opened up to me like she didn't to anyone else. I worried once or twice that Joanie might get jealous of Lou and how close we were but she understood how I loved Lou and that Lou wasn't no threat. I went out on the porch.
"This a private party out here," I said handing her a cup of coffee. "Or can anyone sit for a while?"
She gave me a smile that was kind of forced like but it was trying to be brave. I just sat next to her and put an arm over her shoulders. She leaned her head on me and let the tears go. Damn I hate when women cry but she needed this and I knew it. I held her a bit and let her just cry. I knew it hurt her to be carrying her first child and not have a mom to turn to like the other girls did. Her tears started to slow down a little bit finally.
"I'm a terrible person," she said.
"Lou," I said pulling back from her with the shock of those words. "You are one of the nicest people I know. You wouldn't know how to be terrible if you tried."
She shook her head, "I was relieved when she went," she said.
I took her face in my hands and tried to wipe away some of her tears while I figured out how to say what I needed to in order to make her feel better.
"Lou honey," I said and I didn't use words like that to her that often. "Your mom was real sick and there wasn't a chance she was going to get better. She'd been dying for quite a while and in a lot of pain too. A terrible person would want her to keep hanging on and suffering just so they won't have to say goodbye. I know there was a relief in knowing you won't have to keep going to the hospital and seeing her like that but you and Theresa can move on now. And it's better she went before you had to move."
I looked at her and I think my words were sinking in a tiny bit.
"You are a very good person, Lou," I told her again, "Don't you ever forget that."
She gave me a real smile then. I knew she was still hurting but she wasn't feeling guilty about anything anymore. I hugged her again and could see Joanie smiling at me out the front window.
I had fun with parts of this. Of course it was sad that Lou's mom died but even I cannot cure cancer and especially not in 1960. Medicines were much less good then. I have lost people to cancer though and often the most comforting thought for those left behind is that their loved one isn't suffering anymore. To think of poor Lou probably all of 18, newly married, pregnant with a husband away in basic training and a baby sister needing care, not being obligated to spend time with her suffering and dying mother everyday had to have been a relief.
I don't really have a lot else to add right now except that it was fun to learn a little more about Jacob Cohen and the whole dynamic with the Goldmans. He's pretty cool. It's funny, I know my husband didn't ask for any blessing from my parents and I'm sure it was pretty much implied with his first marriage cuz that was a have to along the same lines as Buck and Carol but my step-daughter's beau called the day before proposing to ask for her hand. We've seen this kid go through some huge internal battles and I know he felt there might be objections based on that but when it comes down to it, as parents you don't really have a say...especially when the kid in question is pushing 30. All you can hope is that they fins someone who will respect them and love them and treat them well. Maybe not all parents at that time would see that but I think Mr. Cohen had a unique perspective on things. And I think he sees the good in young Jimmy as well.
Okay, I really don't have anything more to add to this now. Huge love to you all!-J