I'd love to say the next couple months went smooth but I'm too old for telling lies to do me much good. It took Lou a while to start being okay and I know part of that was knowing how sad her sister was. I guess things was okay for me. I was finally feeling good about things with Joanie. I may never really understand what she saw in me but I cared less and less as time went on. I knew she did love me and her family really did like me too and it wasn't just that they liked me as an individual. They liked me for Joanie.
When Thanksgiving rolled around, I took Lou and Theresa down to the parade in the morning and then headed up to Bloomfield Hills and dealt with the Bubbe Goldman death glare all through dinner. That woman was never going to cut me any slack and I could sit at that table and see that she still didn't cut Mr. Cohen any either. If a nice Jewish man like him who had made so much of himself still wasn't good enough for her daughter, I guessed I shouldn't take it too personally when she didn't think that I was good enough for her granddaughter. Besides, I'd take away a couple of her arguments against me in time. I'm not saying I enjoyed eating a meal with that woman staring daggers at me but Joanie was holding my hand under the table for most of the meal so I decided she could be as sour as she wanted because I was coming out the winner.
Mid-December that year was the start of Chanukkah. I didn't know the first thing about it but Joanie said it wasn't necessary. I went out to her parents' house in the afternoon so that I'd be there at sundown. Once the sun did set, Joanie and Judy told the story. I think it was a tradition they had come up with for their family but it was also for my benefit. It's kind of a cool story too. Then the center candle was lit and as that candle was used to light a candle on the far right of the menorah, everyone except Joanie began to chant. She whispered the English translation low in my ear.
"Barukh atah Adonai, Eloheinu, melekh ha'olam."
"Blessed are you, Lord our God, sovereign of the universe."
"Shehecheyanu v'kiyimanu v'higi'anu laz'man hazeh. Amein."
"Who has kept us alive, sustained us, and enabled us to reach this season. Amen."
I remembered then how Joanie had said that she so loved the chanting in temple and I understood why. I was so moved by the tones and the love in their voices and it wasn't just a love of each other or even of God. It was a love of the very faith itself, of the history and of the story. There was more chanting and still Joanie kept me up to speed.
"Barukh atah Adonai, Eloheinu, melekh ha'olam."
"Blessed are you, Lord our God, sovereign of the universe."
"Asher kidishanu b'mitz'votav v'tzivanu."
"Who has sanctified us with His commandments and commanded us."
"L'had'lik neir shel Chanukah. Amein."
"To light the lights of Chanukkah. Amen."
"Barukh atah Adonai, Eloheinu, melekh ha'olam."
"Blessed are you, Lord our God, sovereign of the universe."
"She'asah nisim la'avoteinu bayamin haheim baziman hazeh. Amein."
"Who performed miracles for our ancestors in those days at this time. Amen."
Joanie looked up at me, her eyes shining.
"Well?" she asked, "What do you think?"
I know a part of her was insecure about the whole thing because chanting in a foreign language does seem a little odd to some but then most catholic services at that time were still in Latin so I guess maybe back then it wasn't so strange. I can only imagine what some people think now when they walk in to find people chanting in an ancient form of a foreign tongue. The Hebrew spoken and chanted in temple is biblical and so not anything even close to what people in Israel speak today but it serves the purpose. It is kind of a nice thing to know that wherever you go, the service is going to make sense to you. Or at least most of it will. When she asked me, I was still watching the flames dance and letting the reverent words sink in.
"It's beautiful," I said and she hugged me. Joanie always loved Chanukkah and I think it meant a lot to her that I found it as beautiful as she did. It's not the big holiday like some folks think. Passover is much more important. Not that rededicating a temple isn't a very important thing to do but compared with an entire people being freed from slavery, it sort of pales.
Soon I was getting pulled to the living room so Judy could kick my tuchus at dreidel. I don't know what her secret was but by the end of every game, she was sitting there with a pile of geld and I had none. I wasn't there every night but I made it another couple of them and got to thinking about how nice it might be someday to be chanting over a menorah in my own home with Joanie's eyes still shining at me and my own kid kicking my tuchus at dreidel.
About a week later, I got a real good surprise. I was under a car and I heard someone walk in so I rolled out and sat up so I could greet whoever it was. I saw Theresa come bouncing in smiling and I told her Al was in if she wanted to go in and get some candy. Then Lou came in looking happier than I'd seen her in I didn't remember how long.
"It's a good thing you're sitting down, Jimmy," she said, "You might just fall over otherwise."
I looked at her in a question and she nodded to someone outside and in walked a soldier. I didn't even recognize him at first. He'd lost some weight or turned it into muscle or something and he had no hair. But barely more than a second of looking at him and I knew who it was. He could be on the moon for a decade and when he got back, I'd know him. That would be important someday but there I go again trying to get ahead of the story.
I stood up using the car I was working on to steady myself. Kid was just standing there looking kind of uncertain. He sort of held a hand out to me but I brushed it aside as I crossed to him and wrapped my arms around him. No one else was watching besides Lou and she understood. My brother was home and I knew it wasn't forever but he was there then and I didn't care who saw me hug him. If we'd have come from even one parent in common, no one would have even batted an eye. I held him out at arm's length and looked him up and down.
"Damn, Kid," I said, "Is it even you in there?"
He laughed.
"I know I look a little different," he admitted, "I think I startled my own wife when I came up and hugged her at the bus station."
Lou blushed and ducked her head but she was still just beaming to have her husband home.
"I'm surprised you recognized her with that belly she's growing," I said. Lou was getting mighty big. She was probably six months or so along then and being as small as she was, that baby really stuck out there. Carol was a good month further along and Lou looked about as big.
"Jimmy!" Lou hollered at me but she was laughing. Kid put a hand over that big ol' belly like he was protecting what was inside. It felt good and right to have them there joking with me and I tried not to think how soon they'd both be leaving and how long it might be before we was all together again.
"What's all this racket out here?" Al came out and I knew Theresa had told him that Kid was back. "Well hey there Kid."
Al looked at Kid like he was trying to pretend he wasn't glad to see him. It didn't work.
"Oh get over here son," Al said finally, "Let me get a good look at you."
That night we all went over to Emma's for supper. I think Emma spent most of the night fighting tears off she was so happy to see Kid and have him back where she could take care of him.
That night I had barely drifted off to sleep when my phone rang. It scared me some because good news never comes from a phone ringing in the middle of the night.
"Yeah," I said into the phone trying to shake away the sleep that had just taken root in my head.
"Jimmy?" asked a quiet voice that sounded familiar but somewhere between its soft tone and my groggy head, I didn't place it at first.
"Yeah," I said again kind of annoyed. It's not like anyone else lived in my place.
"Jimmy, this is Sherry," I have to say that right then I was completely awake and it felt like someone had replaced my blood with melting snow. I could actually feel the cold running through my veins. "You need to come quick."
"Is she okay?" I asked not even sure I wanted the answer.
"She's crying and I can't get her to stop," Sherry told me, "I know you can. If you don't get here soon, they're going to call an ambulance. Someone will let you in. Please come."
I will forever in my life be grateful for Sherry and whatever powers brought them together in that little dorm room. They hit it off and were almost closer than sisters sometimes. Sherry has a capacity for love that few I've known do and she always looked out for Joanie. Of course in future semesters, I knew this was coming for Joanie. It was the end of the semester and finals time after all.
For the way I drove to campus that night, I should be thankful that the roads weren't as bad as Michigan roads can get in December. I made it alright and there was someone there to let me into the building. I know that at that time of night, I wasn't usually allowed in but it's not like I was there to attack her virtue or anything. I got into her room and the first person I saw was Sherry.
"We can't even get close to her," she said, "She's thrown things and almost hit me but I ducked."
I put a hand on her shoulder as I passed her just to let her know I was grateful she'd called me. There was a crowd of girls around the room all looking in and I wasn't real sure we needed an audience but I also didn't want to waste time making a fuss about it. I went to Joanie. She was on her bed sitting way back where her bed was wedged in the corner. She was breathing real fast and her eyes were wide and kind of wild looking. Her knees were pulled up tight to her chest and she was digging her fingernails into her arms so hard her knuckles were white. I sat down on the bed and reached and stroked her cheek gently. She started to shake her head violently.
"You know I don't buy that," I said, "We've had this discussion before, remember?"
Joanie started rocking back and forth which might not have been as bad if she hadn't been right against the wall so her head was hitting violently every time she rocked back. That wouldn't do. I knew I had to get a hold of her. I also knew I might get hit for my troubles but it had been a good long while since I had gotten a decent shiner. I took a deep breath and grabbed her. She was still rocking her head really hard and landed it on my cheekbone before I got her pulled to me and wrapped an arm around her head to hold it to my chest. It hurt but not as bad as watching her hurt herself. She tried to slam her head a few more times but when she couldn't, she settled a bit. She was still crying though.
"It's okay, sweetie," I said softly as she cried against me. "I'm here."
I didn't know why that should make anyone feel better but it was something to say and it did seem to make her feel better. She quit breathing so fast and sort of clung to me like she finally realized I was there. I just started talking to her about anything and everything.
"It's okay now. I won't let you go," I started, "Guess who showed up at the shop today? Kid! Yeah, he's back for the holidays. Lou is so happy to have him back and I thought Emma was going to turn into a puddle. I have to say I was pretty damned glad to see him too. He sure does look different though. And I wanted to talk to you about a party for Kid, you know, to get the whole gang together and stuff. We thought about a Christmas party but I didn't know if you were allowed to celebrate Christmas or what so maybe it should be a New Year's party. You'll have to tell me. Emma wanted you to know you are welcome to come eat at her place on Christmas even if you don't celebrate it."
"I can," came a tiny voice.
"What?"
"I can celebrate Christmas," she said a little clearer. "I just never have. It might be fun."
I hugged her tighter.
"You feeling a little better?" I asked.
"I always feel better when you're near," she said. "My head hurts. Did I bump it or something?"
"You could say that," I said. She noticed the swelling and the bruising later and felt bad but I knew it hadn't been anything she was even aware of doing at the time. It wasn't that bad. A guy like me, I'd had worse before I was out of grammar school and not just from fights at school either. I went into school with plenty of shiners courtesy of my old man. No one cared too much if a kid got beat back in those days and those who did care couldn't do nothing about it. I lived through it but I have to say it's better to get a kid out of that. Not all kids are as lucky as me to have friends like I found.
Eventually I had to leave and the girls all went back to their rooms. I thanked Sherry before I left for calling me. The dorm mother kind of glared at me but I didn't care much. She couldn't have been too mad at me. I saved her a call to the ambulance and a trip to the hospital that night. I tucked Joanie into her bed before I left and kissed her forehead.
"You are going to do just fine," I said, "If I could just get you to believe in yourself half as much as I believe in you, you'd be unstoppable."
She smiled at me.
"Thank you, James."
"I love you, you beautiful woman," I said before I closed the door behind me and made my way back to my car.
Hellooooo! Yeah...been a couple of days. Sorry...kept trying to write and it kept being really crappy but I think I got it together a little bit. I don't think there are any Michigan references much in this one. But there is all that Hebrew...those are the blessings said over the candles of Chanukkah. The first one there is only said the first night and then is said the beginning of many other holy days as well. Oh and dreidel...I think most have heard of it but do you know how to play? I do and my kids kick my tuchus and the tuchus of everyone they ever play against. Of course I haved caught them practicing spinning the top in like July too so that might be why. Anyway, the dreidel is a four sided top. Each side has a Hebrew character on it and depending on how it lands, that's what you have to do. You play with geld which are chocolate coins and so sometimes you get the pot and sometimes you have to put in the pot and sometimes you get part of teh pot. It is fun. I think this year my BFF's little boy is old enough to play some dreidel during our annual party. We call it a "solstiChristmaChanuKwansikkah" party. I have friends who are pagan and therefore celebrate solstice, we are an interfaith household and have a Christmas tree and a menorah. I have no friends who celebrate Kwanza but I don't want to exclude anyone. We have it on the first night of Chanukkah and you are all invited! Seriously...just show up around sunset and we'll light some candles and chant some Hebrew and eat tons of food and you can get yoru tuchus kicked by my sons (they will give you pity chocolate when you lose). Oh and Tuchus means backside, tushy, hiney, hind end, bottom, buttocks, etc...
Okay lovelies...let me know what you think...I am looking to a Christmas party for the gang...whee!-J