I fished the ring out of the box and just sort of held it there. I suddenly forgot which hand it went on. Joanie sort of laughed.
"It's this one," she said wiggling the fingers on her left hand, "Unless this is your version of premature cold feet."
I slid the ring on her finger, "Nope, I don't think they've ever been warmer."
Joanie looked at the ring and got a strange look.
"James, this is awfully big. You didn't have to-"
"I want everyone who sees it to know that someone really loves you," I said, "Besides, I saved up. I guess next I should try saving for a house. Two years should put a little dent in a down payment, huh?"
"Two years is long engagement," she said sadly, "I shouldn't ask such a thing of you. We could get married sooner."
"No," I said and I know I might've sounded stern. It's not that I wouldn't have loved to already be married to her with a little rug rat or two running around underfoot but Joanie had things to do and I wasn't going to be the reason she didn't get them done. Things are different now and people get married and still go to school but it was different then and I knew Joanie would just be one long string of her little episodes until she dropped out and eventually she would regret that and resent me and our whole life and I wasn't going to start things with her by setting us up for failure. "I can wait. It's not like you've got me waiting for a wedding night. Things might be different if that was the case."
"So that's what would make you want to move faster," she said, "I guess if I ever start wanting the mate to this ring I know what to withhold."
I kissed her and whispered, "You'd be surprised how patient I can be."
"Yeah, you could probably hold out for a month or two and then you'd be dragging me to a courthouse," she said laughing at me.
"And how long could you hold out?" I asked raising an eyebrow.
"Probably not much longer than you could," she admitted and then kissed me so that I knew she wouldn't be trying to cut short our engagement using that method. In fact the wine and all the rest was quickly forgotten and we were soon under one of those afghan things Emma made. Thank goodness for the afghan because it would have been a little chilly on that roof without clothes. I guess neither one of us was ever going to hold out for very long.
"Can I ask you something, James?" Joanie asked me.
"You know you can," I said.
"Why now?" she wondered, "I mean, why did you ask me now?"
"I guess maybe some of the things that happened in the last few months made me worry about things," I tried to explain and I knew I wasn't doing a good job.
"What worried you?"
"Everything with Stan and then what happened to Aaron and then my folks dying," I told her, "There's just so much, I can't explain, I guess things seem uncertain and I needed something for sure. I needed for us to be for sure. Does that make sense?"
"Yes it does," she said softly and I could feel her tears hitting my chest.
"I'm sorry," I said, "I shouldn't've brought all that up."
"That's not it at all," she told me, "I think I just wasn't expecting to ever be something like that. You need something certain, something to cling to and count on and I want to be that but I never really dreamed I could be that for anyone."
"You are," I said, "I may not sound very cool saying this but I really don't think I could live without you and I'd rather think that I don't have to."
Joanie held me tighter, "How did I find such a perfect man?"
"You didn't. I ain't perfect at all," I said, "But if you want to know how you found me, you drove yourself all the way into the city from Bloomfield Hills to get your car tuned up."
"You are perfect for me," she argued, "No one could be more so. I wouldn't have made it through anything, school, Stan, none of it, without you."
"If you want to go there," I said, "You can guess what my life would be without you. I would be just some no good dropout grease monkey. But look at me, I'm in school and there's a world so open to me I don't even know what to do with it. You ask what I want to do and I don't even know what all is out there yet. That's all you, Joanie."
"I didn't do a thing, James," she said, "Really I didn't."
"Yeah you did," I said, "You might never see it but you did plenty."
Joanie got quiet for a while and just snuggled closer to me.
"Mrs. Joan Hickok," she said after a bit, "I think I like it. It sounds sort of nice, don't you think?"
"I think it sounds wonderful."
Eventually it got too chilly to be on the roof naked even with the afghan so we got dressed and went back to my place. We decided to go to temple with her family the next day and fell asleep holding tight to each other.
The next morning Joanie was nervous as all get out.
"You should relax," I told her, "I already had your dad's blessing. I doubt he keeps secrets like that from your mom. I think Judy's the only one who might be surprised and she's a sharp kid, she probably knew this was coming eventually."
"But knowing it's coming is not the same as it happening."
We drove on out and happened on her parents in the parking lot. I thought about telling them but then I wanted her to be able to share the news. When it came to telling my family I knew it would be my privilege. We stood in the lot and Joanie talked about school and her finals and stuff like that and she kept brushing her hair out of her face with her left hand like she was waiting for them to notice on their own. Finally Judy squealed.
"Joanie!" she yelled at her sister, "What is that on your hand?"
"Oh this?" Joanie asked innocently, "Just a little something my darling fiancé gave me last night."
Mr. and Mrs. Cohen jumped on that choice of words. The day before I had been her boyfriend but now I was a fiancé. It sounded nice. I didn't even get a chance to completely take in her folks' reaction because Judy launched herself at me and hugged me tight. She wasn't quite the little thing she used to be, she was fifteen by then after all but she would always be tiny like her sister. Neither one of them cleared five foot by too much.
"It's about time," she said.
"I'm glad you approve, short stuff."
She stood on her toes and pulled my head down to her.
"I won't warn you to take care of her and not hurt her because you're the best we could have hoped for," she whispered, "Thank you for helping me look after my sister."
I kissed her cheek, "Believe me, it's my pleasure."
"I'll just bet it is," she said with a wink. That kid was something. Once Judy released me I found myself pulled into a hug from Mrs. Cohen and a handshake that became a hug from Mr. Cohen.
"Is there a date?" Mrs. Cohen asked and she looked a little worried. Joanie looked uneasy so I spoke up.
"We like the idea of June," I said, "I'd need a calendar to know for sure but try to keep June 1964 kind of open."
"1964?" Mrs. Cohen asked.
"We should both be graduated by then as long as I keep taking summer classes," I explained.
I think her folks were a little relieved at that. They knew their daughter better than I did and knew that getting married while she was still in school wouldn't be good for her.
We headed in for services and I tried to walk with Joanie but she was flanked on either side by her mom and sister. Mr. Cohen's arm went around my shoulders.
"Let the hens have their party," he said, "Besides, I wanted to talk to you about something."
I braced myself wondering what awkward conversation might come next. There's things a father sometimes wants to say to the man who's marrying his daughter and none of those talks is comfortable for the man who wants to do the marrying.
"What's that, sir?"
"First," he began, "You really don't need to call me sir. And then second, I wanted to talk about your future."
"Besides the part of it where I marry your daughter?" I said trying to lighten the mood.
He laughed, "Of course. You know I never had a problem with that. I'm talking about what you want to do for a living. Now, I'm going out on a limb but I'm going to guess that you aren't busting your hump at school to keep working on carburetors. A little curly headed bird told me your grades are pretty impressive."
"I'm not doing too bad," I admitted. I had been pulling down a good 3.5 in the old grade point average.
"Don't sell yourself short, James," he said, "I worked full time while I went to school too and I didn't do as well all the time. Joanie talks about me like I pulled straight A's or something but it's just not the case. I'm proud of you and my little girl is too. I was wondering if you'd given any thought to what you might major in."
"A lot of thought but I haven't really settled on anything yet," I told him honestly, "There's a lot of things I never even knew about before."
"I know," he said, "I don't want to put pressure on you but I did want to mention that if you were so inclined that there would be a position open for you at the firm."
"Joanie said something about that," I told him, "I told her you must have been drinking heavy. It's a little early to be that tight, isn't it? Besides you don't usually drink on the Sabbath."
"You still don't think high enough of yourself do you?"
"Your daughter says the same thing," I said, "I think she's delusional." It felt good to use one of the terms from my psychology class.
"We'll talk more," he said laughing as we went into the synagogue.
The next day Joanie was spending time with her family and I had plans to do the same. I drove over to Emma's just in time for a beer on the porch with Al and Sam before Sunday dinner hit the table. I wanted to share the happy news but I didn't just want to blurt it out. I nodded at Al and Sam and headed in the house I guess they probably thought I was heading in to grab a Stroh's and I was but that was hardly my main objective.
"Hey Emma," I said from the doorway of the kitchen, "You need a hand with anything?"
"It's good to see you, Jimmy," she said hugging me, "I've missed you the last couple weeks."
"Well, I had finals I was studying for and then you know how Joanie does during finals week," I explained though it was hardly necessary. "I have something I want to tell you though. It's kind of important."
She looked at me worried and my voice was so serious that I'm sure she thought there was more bad news. It seemed like we had quite a string of bad things happen for a while and I understood why she thought the worst, especially since Joanie wasn't there with me.
"Joanie's alright, isn't she?" she asked.
"Joanie's better than she's been in quite a while," I answered, "Do you have a minute to sit down and listen to me?"
She nodded and pulled over a stool.
"I want to thank you," I started, "I have this life that I just couldn't've imagined before and it started with you, well, you and Al and I'll get to thanking him too. The boy I used to be could never have been anything to someone like Joanie but the man you turned me into just got engaged to her."
"Engaged? Did you say engaged?" she asked, "When? How soon? Oh there's so much to help her with. Her parents, do they know?"
"Calm down, Emma," I said, "I popped the question Friday night. We told her folks before temple yesterday. I've had Mr. Cohen's blessing for a long while now and you've got two years to help her plan this thing though I think the Cohen women already have a jump on it."
"I'm proud of you, you know," she said, "I don't think you've heard words like that enough in your life but I am very proud of you."
Her words probably meant more to me than anyone else's at that moment. If my own mother had come back from the dead to tell me that it wouldn't have been as precious. Polly was supposed to love me and be proud of me. Emma didn't have to. I felt like I earned anything I got from her. Honestly if you went shopping for a mother, you'd be hard pressed to find any better at it than that woman.
Hehehe...I like the good things...And this is kind of fun to write about a wedding while we are planning one. The remark he made about the ring is similar to what my step-daughter's fiance said about the ring he gave her. He wanted everyone to be able to see how loved she was. He's a good man. He's been through his struggles and there've been times when he would not have been what we wanted for her at all but he always was a good man at heart and that is what is most important for a parent trusting their child to someone forever. I can only hope my boys can find people to love...I'd say girls but one of my guys isn't well, it's a long story and there would be a long discussion of the Kinsey study for me to get into it all plus a conversation my college philosophy class had about the book The Color Purple...just too much to get into. But happy times are ahead and who remembers that Kid and Lou are due for a visit this summer? Yay! But there will be sadness coming up too. Not for Jimmy or Joanie or even Kid or Lou but there will be sadness.
I think Jimmy is toying with the idea of law school but he lacks confidence and still isn't even certain if that's what he wants really or not...I can think of a couple other things that might suit him better. We'll have to see.-J