The wedding neared and I didn't think it would scare me like it did. I mean I had been a little unnerved at first when I realized where this whole thing with Joanie was going but I'm pretty sure I knew within the first month with her that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with that woman. If it hadn't been for her want of a career, we'd have been married that first summer with Kid and Lou and the rest. It really puzzled me why I was so scared as it got closer. I knew what I had to do for the ceremony and I had the ring and everything. There was nothing to fear and I knew that but I was just edgy anyway. I puzzled about it a good while and thought hard about what to do. It's not like I didn't have plenty of men around me who could help me out but of course I didn't want to talk to a man about being scared. I know now that those were my friends who loved me and wouldn't have thought nothing of it but still I couldn't bring myself to talk to any of them so I went to the one person I felt I could trust.

I stood on the porch nervy as a kid knocking on the door of his first date. I was shifting from foot to foot and when she answered the door she probably thought I needed to use the bathroom.

"Jimmy," she said looking surprised and I suppose she was, "What brings you here?"

"I needed to talk to you, Emma," I said and gestured to the porch swing. She came out of the house and sat down.

"What's troubling you?" she asked and put an arm around my shoulders. It was those little tender things she did that made her the one person I felt I could trust with this.

"I'm afraid," I replied, "I don't know why. I've never been more sure a thing was right in my life and still I'm scared half to death. What's wrong with me?"

"Not a single thing that's not wrong with every one of us," she told me pulling me into her and rocking the swing like she was soothing a child. "Change is scary even when it's good change. If you look in your heart and know you love this woman and know you want to be with her then you'll be fine and I think you'll find once you get that ring on her finger that your fear will just melt away."

"Were you scared when you first got married?"

"Sweetheart, I was terrified. Things were different then and there was the wedding night to be concerned about too," she reminded me, "But I think I was scared of being a wife and maybe that I wouldn't be able to live up to my responsibilities and the future is a scary thing but I remember when it was my turn to say I do, I looked into Evan's eyes and knew I did. Things didn't work out so well for us but he wasn't a bad man, really."

"Did you ever doubt marrying Sam?"

"When he proposed I said yes almost before he got the words out," she told me, "And then that night after he'd gone and I was alone I looked at the ring on my hand and wondered what on earth I had just done. Change is scary for everyone. But it was the right thing to do. I love him and he loves me and when you're in that situation there's nothing else to do but get married and love each other together."

The woman made a lot of sense but I still felt nervous. I know now how typical that is and it goes away but I was really upset by it because I knew it didn't mean that I was unsure about marrying Joanie. I'd never been so sure about anything in my life.

Well, the wedding just kept getting closer. Kid and Lou and the youngsters all came and that was nice to have them around. Kid came up to me one day during that week before the wedding and he looked sort of embarrassed and I could tell whatever he had to say wasn't his idea to come talk to me about.

"You know, Jimmy," he said, "It's customary to have a party before the wedding, you know, just us guys."

"Kid, I really don't need a bachelor party," I told him, "You guys don't have to do nothing."

"Well we want to send you off right," he replied, "I had some ideas about it but then, you know Billy and how he grabs a hold of something like that."

"Billy's planning it?" I asked, "I think I'd rather pass."

"Now he promised not to go overboard," Kid said and I knew that he must know it was already too late for that. I could hear it in his voice. But he wanted me to do this with them.

"Alright," I agreed, "When are we doing this?"

"Saturday the night before the wedding," he said.

"Nope," I told him, "It's got to be before then. I have to fast starting sundown the night before the wedding. Somehow I have a feeling this party involves eating and drinking, or at least drinking."

"I'll tell him he'd better make it Friday night."

So Friday night came around and we all went over to Billy's and by 'we all' I mean the whole gang. Ike and Buck and Billy and Kid were there and then Noah, Aaron and Dan came too. None of the other guys knew that Aaron was gay and I wasn't about to tell them. He had gotten really good through the years of pretending to be straight and he said he wanted to come even though I told him it probably wasn't going to be his scene. If I had only known what he had planned that weekend, well, this was a momentous weekend for both of us as it turned out.

So I got to Billy's and he handed me a Stroh's and there was this huge cake in the corner of the room. I don't know why I didn't figure it out sooner but I didn't. Once everyone was there and we were all starting to get a little happy from tossing back a few, Billy turned on a record and sat me down on his couch facing the big old cake and out popped this woman. She was wearing like one of those little tight leotard things. I don't even know what they're called but they're tight and I guess by today's standards they cover a whole lot but those days it seemed a woman wearing one of those was near to naked. She finished climbing out of her cake and I could hear a couple of the other guys hooting and hollering at her. One of them was Billy. I knew Kid was probably blushing like crazy and I don't think I was doing much better especially since it was me she was headed for. Now I'd been with other women and I'd seen women naked and all but to be on display while this one pranced around me flaunting her boobs in my face, well, it was uncomfortable to say the least. She kept trying to put my hands on her but I kept letting them drop. Marriage makes it official that you won't touch another woman like that but I sort of thought it was implied that when you'd been together as long as we had and had gotten engaged that you didn't do anything like that either. I will say she was good at what she did and if I'd had a few more beers in me I might have made a good number of mistakes. She was a turn on, that was for sure but then I was sort of embarrassed to be the center of attention like that and I was getting more and more furious with Bill by the second. Finally the song stopped and she was done. She went into his bathroom to get decent clothes on and left. I didn't want to embarrass her or I would have done this sooner but once she was gone I was off that couch and I almost made it to Billy before Kid and Noah grabbed me. I don't know if I was about to punch him or just strangle the life out of him but Kid and Noah probably saved his life that night. Ike, Buck and Noah tried calming me down while Kid went to talk to the idiot.

"You know he thought he was doing you a favor," Buck said and it didn't help me calm down any that Buck was trying not to laugh at the whole thing. I will say now that in hindsight it was kind of funny and even a little sweet that he went to all that trouble for me but at the time I think I might have tried to take a swing at Buck. Aaron was the one who pulled me away because everyone else was laughing by then.

"You need to cut your friend some slack, James," he said to me, "It's not his fault you're feeling like you are."

"What do you mean it's not his fault?" I asked wondering what party Aaron had just been at. "He arranged the whole thing."

"Come with me a minute," Aaron said leading me out of the apartment, down the stairs and into the outside air. "You're nervous."

"Now why would I be nervous?"

"I have a feeling that's exactly what you've been asking yourself," he said, "It's normal and I know people have told you that and it hasn't helped at all. I don't know for sure but I suspect that not much is going to help but getting to yihud on Sunday. It'll be all over then and you'll be alright then I suspect. Nerves are one thing and you thought you were coping fine enough with those but then what's-her-name there got you a little excited and you think you did something wrong and you wonder if your nerves are telling you something."

"She didn't—"

"Not that I was checking you out or anything but at least one part of your anatomy was very interested in her," he said, "I'm not mad and I'm not going to go running off to Joanie and tell her. She's a girl and she probably wouldn't understand entirely. If I'm asked anything I'd spend my time pointing out that when she tried to make you touch her, you let your hands drop every time."

"Damn," I said, "I have to tell her. We don't keep secrets."

"Talk to me before you do," he said, "There are ways you can say this that will be fine and ways that will make her furious and don't tell her until after the wedding. A good while after the wedding to be more specific."

"My nerves aren't telling me anything, are they?"

"I doubt they're telling you anything except that you fear change like every other person does," he said and then got real serious. "You feel nerves but when you think of Joanie or the wedding or being married do you feel doubt at all?"

"No," I said, "I can honestly say I don't."

"Then let's go inside," he said, "I have a feeling Billy won't try anything like that again tonight."

We headed inside and got almost to Billy's door and I stopped Aaron.

"You know I appreciate what a friend you are to Joanie, right?" He nodded. "And I've come to think of you as a friend too. I don't care who you want to date for the most part but could you either stop noticing my crotch or keep it to yourself when you do?"

"Actually I only glanced there to confirm what I thought," he said, "I know you're not like me and that's that. I noticed your pulse quicken—I could see it in the veins in your neck and your face was getting flushed. I know what a man looks like when he's aroused. I looked at your lap to confirm is all. I have no designs on you and no wild fantasies about you either."

He paused for a moment and then stuck out his hand, "Are we cool?"

"Yeah," I said shaking his hand, "We're cool."

The rest of the party was just us guys being guys. It was times like we rarely got anymore. With Kid so far away and Ike and Buck married and fathers—and Ike had two by then. Little Karen had been born late in the winter. Buck and Carol seemed frosty and I had no idea what that was about. Carol had her moods and so did Buck so you just never knew with those two. Ike worked a good deal and then he spent a lot of time learning sign so he could help Timmy and also help Annie with it. They signed everything they said even to Karen so that as she learned to talk she'd learn sign too so she could communicate with her brother. It was great to see the family man he'd become though not surprising at all. But it didn't leave a lot of time for the guys to just hang out. I was in school so much and working and with Joanie that I didn't have any more time than the rest of them. We hadn't known Noah that long I guess compared to everyone else but even he didn't have free time. He had one more year of law school and was working for Mr. Cohen and he'd been seeing some girl he was really mysterious about. So spending an evening playing poker and drinking and smoking cigars was exactly what we all needed. And it was fair too. The girls had their hen parties so it seemed us guys should be able to have our time too. And we did. Once things settled for all of us with families and careers and all we'd get together regular for poker night.

I woke up the next morning on Bill Cody's couch and the rest of the guys were laying all around the floor and draped across easy chairs. Even if I didn't have to fast before the wedding I was glad I wasn't going to have to go through it feeling like that.

"Joanie's woken up next to that and still didn't run away?"

I looked up and there was Billy looking very amused with me.

"How the hell do you look so chipper this morning?" I asked him.

"Well, I was in a fraternity at school so this was sort of a normal Friday night for me and then there's my foolproof recipe for hangover relief."

"Hand it over if you have a cure for this," I said getting grouchy with him.

He handed me a pill bottle and a bottle of beer.

"Two aspirin and the hair of the dog what bit you," he said.

I was doubtful but he looked pretty good and he drank easily as much as I had. I washed down a couple aspirin with a swallow of beer. It does work by the way. I remember having to give the same advice to each of my kids when they went to college. They doubted me but I told them I learned it from their Uncle Billy and they could ask him themselves if they wanted. Of course that only starts you feeling better. After that you need lots of water and maybe a Coke. Something about cola syrup is really soothing to the stomach.

"You still sore at me, Jimmy?" Billy asked.

"Nah," I told him, "I know you meant well. She was pretty too. How'd you ever get close to her?"

"You're very funny," he said sounding anything but amused. "Gloria used to work for the Playboy Club and I got to go with my dad and a friend of his who is a member. Gloria kind of took a shine to me and gave me her number. Of course that's why she doesn't work there anymore. The girls aren't supposed to fraternize with the customers. But she's a nice girl and we went out a few times. She does stuff like this to make her tuition payments."

"She was a Playboy Bunny?"

"See, I was looking out for you, Jimmy," he said, "No cheap trollop for my friend."

"You did pretty good, Bill," I told him, "Pretty damned good. Now if I can just figure out how to tell my wife."

"She's not your wife yet, you know."

"No but she will be by the time I tell her."

Billy laughed at that.

I planned on this chapter being a wedding but then Kid and Cody had to go and throw a bachelor party. Um...there was a Playboy Club in Detroit that opened in 1963 and there was an article about the girls who worked there recently in the Free Press (Freep) and one girl talked about another girl who'd been caught trying to give her number to some customer and got fired. I made her name Gloria as kind of a joke. Gloria Steinem was very outspoken against the Playboy Club.

And "the hair of the dog" does work and so does Coca Cola...especially frozen cokes...funny, I'm not even a heavy drinker and I know that...guess having a kid so recently out of college taught me lots...and actually I discovered the coke thing with morning sickness...nothing settles a tummy like a coke slurpee. Truth.

Okay for sure the wedding is the next chapter. I know I am dragging it out but I really want everyone to have these happy moments or at least times when teh problems aren't big...there will be much doom (doomydoomdoom) to come in this story and many times the Weasley clock will be at "mortal peril" for some if not all of our dears. We'll need to stockpile things like the image of the guys playing poker and smoking cigars and laughing and talking about old times. Or I will anyway!-J