Well, the day finally arrived. It was strange that as much time as I had spent with Joanie I didn't see her all week until the rehearsal. Anyway, there I finally was at the synagogue and in my tux standing in a room with Kid and Aaron. Aaron was pacing like a madman so I went over to talk to him.

"If I didn't know better," I said to him, "I'd think you're the one getting hitched. What's going on?"

He looked at me a minute and then sighed and shook his head a bit.

"I don't know what possessed me to do this and in this day of all the days," he began, "But I just hit a point where I needed to, you know?"

"I don't know," I answered, "You want to fill me in?"

"There's a guy out there sitting with the guests. His name is Gene. He's my, well, he's my date."

I didn't quite know what to say to that.

"We won't make a scene or try to dance together or anything like that," he assured me, "I just know that I'm headed to New York soon to get settled for school and I wanted him to meet the other people who matter to me."

"Like your dad?" I asked.

"If I get the guts to tell him."

"This Gene isn't just a date, is he? He's your boyfriend, right?"

"Yeah," he admitted. I don't know what got into me then. Maybe it was being grateful for something to take my mind off my own nerves and maybe it was just knowing what he meant to my Joanie but I sort of turned into a big brother, not that he needed one at all but he got one all the same.

"He good to you?" I asked him.

Aaron laughed at me, "He's not my first boyfriend, James. But yes, he is very good to me and I try to be good to him too. Now I'm trusting you with my best friend in the world. You'd better keep being amazing to her because she's going to need it."

"I know she will."

It was time right about then for me to go to sign the ketubah. It's sort of a big deal and really a pretty main part of everything. I was led to the room and Kid didn't come because he couldn't be one of the signing witnesses anyway. Well, I was about to be led to the room when Aaron grabbed my arm.

"You're seriously going to begin your wedding with your yarmulke all over the place like that? Let me fix it."

He did and I realized sometimes maybe it's kind of cool to have a gay friend who notices when your yarmulke is off center. Then Aaron and I walked to the room where the Rabbi and Saul Berger, the other partner at the firm were already waiting for us along with Mr. Cohen and Uncle Eli. Uncle Eli and Mr. Cohen were there to represent the goodwill of the families but Saul had to be a witness to the signing. See the signing of the ketubah needs to be witnessed by two people and nowadays I guess it can be anyone, male or female and they don't have to be Jewish either but at that time even the Reform Jews were pretty conservative and the witnesses had to both me men and Jewish and not related to each other or to me or Joanie. If not for that last part, Uncle Eli would have been witnessing along with Aaron but instead it was Saul. Saul was a good guy even though I didn't know him as well as Uncle Eli; he had always been kind to me.

I sat at the table for a few minutes collecting myself and thinking of the enormity of what I was about to do. Then I took up the pen and signed. It was strange to have made that kind of leap without Al or one of the guys at my side but then it really is something a man has to do on his own.

Once I signed the ketubah, Saul took it and went to make sure it was under the chuppah which is what they call the canopy. I was led to the bridal chamber. That part surprised me when I heard it the first time. I always thought a man was never to see his bride on the wedding day until she was heading down the aisle to him but then there's this whole tradition about this part. See a bride is wearing a veil when she comes down the aisle and you don't lift it until after you're pronounced man and wife. Well in the Torah and I guess that's in the Old Testament for the gentile folks, there was this man named Jacob. He wanted to marry a woman named Rachel. She was young a beautiful and he loved her. Well her father consented and they were married but then when he lifted the veil he found that it was really Leah, Rachel's blind older sister. He wasn't any too happy but he was kind of stuck with it because the only chance he had to eventually marry Rachel was to stay married to Leah. So in a ceremony today the groom gets to go to the room where the bride has been getting ready and he puts the veil over her face after making sure that she's the right bride.

I walked in and I don't think I was quite prepared for seeing her. Her parents and Judy and Sherry were around her and when I walked in they parted so I could look at her. The dress was simple and just off of her shoulders. She had no jewelry on; not even her star but I couldn't take my eyes off of her. She looked nervous and excited and happy and even a little scared and I wanted to wrap her in my arms and kiss the daylights out of her but that was neither the time nor the place. Instead I reached over and placed the veil over her face. That was my Joanie alright and I knew it would be, Mr. Cohen wouldn't try to pull a fast one on me, besides it was the older daughter I wanted.

I was led back out of the chamber and toward the aisle. The Rabbi was up front at the chuppah already Aaron went down the aisle first and as I watched him I felt two people come up to me. It's traditional for the groom to be led to the chuppah by his parents. Mine were dead and probably wouldn't have been there anyway. I looked to one side and Al stood there yarmulke on head and I think I saw a tear standing in his eyes. To the other side stood Emma and she'd been crying and would cry more. When I first heard how grooms normally make their way to the chuppah, I figured I'd be going it alone. I can't be the first orphan ever to get married and not have anyone to lead him to chuppah. But Joanie pointed out once again that I did have parents. I had been nervous about asking them but Al had just shook my hand and told me he'd be proud to. Emma was a more emotional affair. I had gone to her months before the wedding. It was a Sunday dinner and I caught her in the kitchen.

"Emma," I said and she looked up at me from whatever she was doing. "I need to ask you something and it's kind of important."

"Jimmy you know you can ask me near to anything."

"It's just that the wedding's coming, you know," I said.

"I know," she said and I think she was trying to keep her patience, "I'll be heading to your Joanie's bridal shower in a couple weeks."

"See there's this tradition thing," I went on, "The groom is led to the chuppah, the canopy, by his parents. I could walk there myself, I guess but, well…"

I don't know why I couldn't find the words but Emma did.

"You want me to lead you?" she asked.

"You're well, you know," I said and my powers of communication really astound me sometimes. "Will you do this for me, Mom?"

I didn't call her 'mom' very often but right then it seemed right. She burst into tears and rushed to hug me and told me she'd be so proud to lead me down the aisle.

So there I was on my wedding day with the best parents I ever could have hoped for. Once Aaron was at the front, Kid began walking. I was getting more nervous as the time passed but Aaron was right, as long as I was sure, then I would just have to push my nerves out of my mind. Finally it was my turn and I was so nervous at that point that I wasn't sure my legs would carry me down the aisle. I think that's why your parents lead you down the aisle because otherwise you'd fall halfway there just out of nerves.

I made it there and Al and Emma left me to take their seats. Then the music changed and I looked down the aisle to see Sherry heading our way. She looked so pretty. I hadn't seen her done up that often and she really was a pretty girl. Her sandy colored hair was pulled back into some twisty thing. Yeah, I guess if you had Joanie or Judy telling this story you'd get to know what it was called but you don't so some twisty thing is all I can tell you. Her makeup was all done and she wore makeup nearly every day but not like this. She was quite the head turner when she put her mind to it. She got up to the chuppah and smiled at me then we looked back down the aisle and I saw little Judy heading toward us. Only little Judy wasn't so little anymore. She'd never be a big girl as far as size but this was the first time I saw her as a woman. She was seventeen then and she looked so grown up. I had a hard time believing this was the same thirteen year old kid who was such a pest to her sister when we first started dating. She was dazzling and I started scanning the room to make sure Billy wasn't getting any ideas. I liked Billy but he was too old for her and too, well he was just too Billy. I found him and he wasn't looking at Judy, he was staring at Sherry. I thought to myself how interesting that could be. Next down the aisle was little Lisa. She was all of three years old and she was toddling down in a little white dress carrying a basket of flowers. Good Lord was that child precious. She had those perfect chubby little cheeks that kids that age have and she still had her dad's dark hair and her mom's bright blue eyes. Her hair was all in little curls and she was just smiling really big. Buck was a lucky man to even think that he had helped to create something that lovely.

Finally the music changed once more and everyone stood and there I saw Mr. and Mrs. Cohen headed toward me leading my beautiful veiled bride toward me. They stopped a distance from the chuppah and took their seats. Joanie had to take three steps toward me on her own to show her willingness to marry. I wished that I could see her face but through that veil I was actually worried for her taking those steps on her own. It was a decently thick veil. She took her steps and I went out to escort her the rest of the way under the chuppah. There it was, we were about to be married.

The first part is called the kiddushin and that started with the hakafot. That's when the bride circles around the groom seven times. There's a lot of people with a lot of different theories about what that means and they range anywhere from it simply representing creation which is sort of how I thought of it that day. It took seven days for creation and at a wedding you are creating a life and for yourselves anyway, a new world. But some think it is a way to ward off evil, I wish I could hold that one but I've seen far too much to think it was all that effective. There's other theories too but I like the creation one. I remember being captivated by her as she walked around me. I know some people think it's sexist for the bride to circle and not the groom but I always thought it was just an understanding that the woman is the strength of the home. Man may traditionally go out and work and now I guess duties are more shared but still I think the mood of a home and the way a family is built is still largely the woman's doing. Besides, it is woman who is allowed to help in the creation of new life so why would she not be the one to symbolically create the new family unit? Just always made sense to me but like I said there's as many opinions on the subject as there are people. Next there was the drinking of the wine. The Rabbi said some blessings over this beautiful silver cup that Joanie had picked out. I think she would have liked my input but I really didn't know anything about then so she did it and she had amazing taste. Then the two of us drank from that cup. That represents that we would share from the same cup of life. Then the Rabbi said some blessings which I understood but I'm sure the rest of the gang was just clueless on. But things like that are pretty to hear even if you don't know what the words mean. Anyway the next thing for me to do was to get the ring out of my pocket. I put in on the index finger of her right hand and said, "You are now consecrated to me with this ring according to the laws of Moses and Israel." Again, I know Al and the boys didn't know exactly what I said but that's okay. It's not real different from what's said at a gentile wedding. After that the Rabbi read the ketubah in Aramaic and then in English. I guess some services they might read the translation in Modern Hebrew or something but we figured English was the way to go. It was pretty emotional. After that there's a lot of blessings and chanting and even I got lost in it all. Sometimes it was the Rabbi or the Cantor and sometimes it was family or family friends getting called up to read. Finally the Rabbi pronounced us man and wife and a glass was wrapped in a cloth and put on the floor. I stomped on it and everyone yelled, "Mazel Tov!" That's another thing that has about as many meanings as there are people in the world. It's supposed to at least partly remind us of our sorrow at the destruction of the temple in Jerusalem but also is kind of a break from whatever came before. We are no longer children and that means a formal break from our parents and whatever other entanglements came before. Also I guess it's supposed to have some sort of sexual symbolism too and that makes it extra important to get that glass broken. We went back up the aisle and off to a room down the hall. It was just a classroom but it was all set up for yihud. All that means is the time the bride and groom get to spend alone. See, a wedding is a very public affair but marriage is a very private one. So the bride and groom get some time alone. At least ten minutes but I think we took a half hour. One of the things you get to do there is eat something. See we'd been fasting and had nothing really but wine so we were bordering on giggly by the time we got in the room.

There was the traditional thick chicken broth to represent the richness of the life we should lead but then there were some nice hors d'oeuvres for us as well. We ate a little bit and then just looked at each other. I was grinning like a fool and whatever nerves I might have had before were forgotten with the knowledge that I was looking at my wife. I had kissed her under the chuppah but that was a proper and for an audience kind of kiss. Right then I leaned down and kissed her deep.

"You have no idea how beautiful you are, do you?"

Her eyes were moist and she just smiled at me. Then she took the ring off her index finger and moved it to her left hand and then went to a little purse type thing on one of the tables. She pulled out her engagement ring and put that on. She hadn't been able to wear any jewelry for the ceremony but that was over and she could adorn herself however she wanted.

"My love," she said and I was sort of taken aback because she rarely used such terms of endearment, "Would you do me a huge favor and see about getting my kippah and veil off. I think you can reach and see better than I can feel for all those stupid bobby pins."

I went behind her and easily found all the bobby pins and got her out of her kippah, which is what we call the skullcaps. They are also called yarmulkes but when women wear them and often brides do, I always hear the word kippah. I got that off of her and she sighed. I saw her struggling to fasten the chain for her star around her neck so I took it from her and did the clasp and then kissed her neck lightly.

"There," I said, "I think you're all beautiful now, as if you weren't before."

"I have something for you," she said and reached into that little purse thing again and pulled out a ring. She took my left hand and slid the ring onto my finger. "Ani l'dodi v'dodi li. I am my beloved's and my beloved is mine."

I could feel the tears spring to my eyes and I kissed her again. I knew I would have a ring eventually. Joanie said that if I got to mark my turf that she did too but I had no idea it was coming then or that way.

Joanie looked at me with those big brown eyes and smiled, "We're married now. We're really married now."

"Yes we are Mrs. Hickok," I said offering her my arm, "Shall we go celebrate?"

She took one more disbelieving look at her left hand with the full wedding set and smiled up at me.

"Lead on dear husband."

I think I did alright explaining everything. I hope so...if there's anything you didn't understand please ask...I've been a researching fool lately. Really it's been crazy. Um a couple of things...the bride wears no jewelry so that they come to the union as equals and the best man does not hold the ring because it has to be his possession that he gives her. And what she said to him when she gave him the ring is a quote from the song of songs and is now used in double ring ceremonies. Most orthodox Rabbis don't do double ring ceremonies even now but Reform do...at that time though they probably did not and especially in Detroit. It's a big city but we are towrd the middle of the country so modern trends that start at the coasts take a while to get to MI. I really love the line so I thought it was good for her to say it.

Before anyone calls me on the lack of a receiving line...I'm not skipping something, there typically isn't one for Jews because of yihud. I wish we'd had a yihud...sounds delightful.

So they are married...can I get a Mazel Tov?-J