The honeymoon was wonderful but everyone has to return to real life at some point. Real life meant my apartment for a while longer though now it was our apartment. I have to say it really always was ours and never just mine. Joanie went to work for her dad to learn the ropes. Law is like pretty much everything else in that respect. You can do all the book learning in the world but until you get out there in that situation you don't know how to apply that book learning. Being able to work in her dad's office would have her ready to hit the ground running when she finished law school. It was like Noah all over again. He was still working at Berger, Cohen and Shapiro too and would stay on. Those names on the sign were the partners but they weren't the only lawyers in the office. Noah had one more year to go in law school and then he needed to pass the bar. No one worried at all about that. He was real smart and especially so when something really mattered to him like this did.

So Joanie was making a little money. I was working for Al and doing some volunteer work at a community center but about a week after we got back from Miami I had an interview. Seems one of the high schools was needing a guidance counselor. I was barely qualified but I was qualified all the same. I can't even explain how nervous I was. I was just glad I wasn't going into the school itself. I was still afraid I'd break out in hives or something just walking in the building. Joanie of course tried to convince me I had the job in the bag but then that's what a good wife, or husband for that matter, does for you. They are there to believe in you when you're having a hard time believing in yourself. Her sweet words didn't convince me entirely. I mean I had dropped out of high school for crying out loud. How was I going to convince the people at the school that I could counsel these kids? Well, the day arrived and I put on a suit and tie and went off to meet with a Mr. Whitehead about the job.

"Have a seat, Mr. Hickok," he said motioning toward a chair opposite his desk.

"You have an interesting educational background."

"Yes sir," I said. I mean, it wasn't really a question but it seemed like he was looking for a response all the same.

"Your grades were abhorrent in the school system and then you dropped out at sixteen," he paused but it wasn't an invitation to speak, "Nothing for almost three years and then you start taking classes for your equivalency certificate. You passed those tests with impressive scores and then enroll in night classes. It looks like you never took a semester off, including summers though you took a much lighter load between your last two years of school. And your grades in college are, if not exemplary, at least very respectable. What sparked the change?"

"Sir?"

"From drop out to model student," he clarified.

"No one thought I could do anything when I was younger," I said knowing that you normally don't get this personal in an interview but my own truth was all I had going for me so I had to use it. "It got so I believed them. I have people in my life who think I'm worth something now and I guess finally convinced me I actually am. It makes a big difference when you aren't fighting everyone for a chance, when there are even a few people fighting by your side."

"I suppose it does," he said like he was thinking about it some. "Tell me is one of the people who suddenly believed in you your wife?"

I looked up at him surprised but I saw he was looking at my hands and I was unconsciously twisting the ring on my finger.

"She's the loudest in my cheering section," I admitted, "But she's not alone there either."

"Mr. Hickok," the man began, "I have every instinct that says you are wrong for this job. We are trying to convince students to stay in school and here you are a shining example of quitting and still landing on your feet."

He paused again for effect and it wasn't nearly as endearing when Mr. Whitehead did it as it was when Al did.

"So tell me why I should hire you."

I sort of sighed. I wondered if the day would ever come when I wasn't defending my very existence to people. I decided that was the time to open up. There was no way I was going to BS my way through something like this. I would need the truth, every ugly stinking part of it and if it didn't get me the job at least I would know that I had given it everything I had.

"I've been where these kids are," I began, "I had parents who didn't care to do anything but hit me and teachers who cared even less. I was told I was useless and worthless, not in words mind you but in action and even inaction. I got into trouble and no one cared. I guess I know now that at least some of the time I was trying to get my folks' attention. I don't think it was conscious but one of my psychology classes told me that and it makes a good deal of sense. I know what it is to have no one on your side. I was there. But I also know how wonderful it is when someone is on your side. I have a few people who've become like a family to me. They had faith in me and stood by me when I probably least deserved it. You know that's when people need other people the most. Sure I got through after dropping out but it was really hard. I worked all day and went to school nights. Time with my girl was the two of us at the kitchen table each buried in books. I guess I should be glad that she was going to school too though or we wouldn't have even had that. I was lucky enough to have a boss that was real understanding. Most aren't."

I paused then for my own dramatic effect and then went on, "Besides, keeping these kids in school is less about threatening them with how hard things might be than it is about making them feel they deserve something other than the hardships."

I looked at the man who was just staring back at me.

"I don't know if that's what you wanted for convincing," I said, "But it's the truth and that's the only thing I have on me right now."

"Those are some very passionate words, Mr. Hickok," he said to me, "I still have some other applicants to consider but I will tell you that your answer has at least put you in the pile with the serious contenders. I do have one more question for you. Are you planning on continuing your education at all?"

"Yes sir," I told him, "I'm heading back to work on my MSW this fall. I've heard there might at some point be social work spots within the schools and I'd really like to move into something like that someday. These kids need it before they're too far gone for anyone to help."

Mr. Whitehead allowed a smile and I think he liked something in what I said but I didn't know what until later.

"Well, as I said I have a few more interviews to conduct but I should be contacting you with my decision one way or the other within a week."

I stood and shook his hand and thanked him for his time.

I was a grouch for the next few days. Al was tiptoeing around me and even Emma got snapped at once or twice. Joanie had her methods of keeping me pretty docile but I'm sure I wasn't the doting husband she deserved right about then. Well, I was at work one afternoon and a call came for me. I was confused and a little worried when Al called me to the office to take the phone. He read my look, "It's not Joanie."

That was a relief but then it was the police. There was something ugly that had gone down that they weren't giving me the details of and apparently two of the kids I worked with were involved and one was asking for me.

"Al," I said, "I have to go. One of my kids is in trouble."

It was the first time I had called them my kids but it wouldn't be the last time. You talk to teachers and every child that sits at a desk in their classroom is one of theirs as sure as the ones they helped to make and for the rest of us who work with kids it's pretty much the same. Still Al raised his eyebrows at me.

"One of the kids I counsel," I clarified though I always felt he should have just known after he laid claim to me and the rest of the gang. Al nodded at me to go and I was down to that station faster than I should have been if I'd been following traffic laws.

I walked in and there was one of my harder luck cases, Jesse James. That poor kid had been through the ringer. He had parents about as good as mine though at times I thought maybe a little worse than mine. His only friend in the world was his big brother Frank who was doing time at Jackson and probably would be the rest of his life. He killed a man while robbing a liquor store and that's murder during the commission of a felony so that was an automatic first degree rap. Granted he had a crap attorney but I'm not sure even Uncle Eli or Mr. Cohen could have done much to help Frank. The worst part of it was Jesse idolized his brother. I worked with Jesse probably more than most of the kids because I knew how easy it would be for him to end up dead or in the cell next to his brother and he was too good for that. I went over to him and he looked like he wanted to stand up or at least shake my hand but he was manacled to the desk and his hands were cuffed together. I looked over at the officer across the desk for some explanation. He just frowned so I looked to Jesse.

"Are you alright?"

Jesse put on his biggest tough guy routine and puffed out his chest.

"'Course I'm alright," he said but his eyes betrayed his fear. "Why wouldn't I be alright?"

I shook my head and turned back to the officer. I reached across to shake his hand.

"James Hickok," I said, "What kind of mess did he get himself into?"

The officer took me aside a little ways.

"Before I talk to you I have to tell you we tried to get the kid's parents here to take up for him but he insisted on calling you."

"His folks wouldn't've come anyway," I said, "I've been his social worker for a while now. I told him to call me if he needed anything or got into any trouble. So what happened?"

"It doesn't look like Jesse there actually did anything but be in the wrong place at the wrong time with the wrong person," the officer said, "His friend who was with him knocked over a liquor store while Jesse was outside. I don't think that kid even knew about it. His friend came out and said to run and Jesse did. Eventually we got called and started chasing them. Jesse froze when he was told and his friend didn't."

"What happened to the friend?"

"He was reaching into his jacket," he began and I knew where it was going.

"Is he dead?" the officer nodded. "Is Jesse facing any charges?"

"I think if I could charge him with stupidity I might just to scare some sense into him," he said, "But he seems to have a pretty thick skull. I'm not sure it would do any good."

"Yeah he's a tough nut to crack," I agreed, "Can you release him now?"

"You're taking responsibility for him then? Because I can't just release a juvenile without an adult to take charge of him."

"He's coming home with me," I said.

The officer unlocked Jesse and I led him out of the station to my car.

"How much trouble am I in?" Jesse asked once we were inside and headed toward home.

"You aren't being accused of any crime," I said.

"I mean with you," he said and he actually sounded scared. All I could think of was when I first started spending time with Al and Emma. I remember the first time I got in trouble and I spent a few days flinching from a beating that never came.

"I wish you'd find some better friends, Jesse," I told him, "But I'm right now just a lot more grateful that the officer who fired on your friend had the aim he did. You could've been killed."

"You ain't going to beat me?"

"No one's going to beat you," I told him, "Not ever again if I have anything to say about it."

"Are you mad at me?"

"Right now I'm still stuck in being scared half to death for you. Mad might come later but I think most of the strength will be gone before it does."

I looked over to him. He was rail thin. Now Jesse was never what I'd call stocky and more often he tended toward gangly but he looked far too skinny right about then and under his eyes were dark circles.

"When was the last time you ate or slept?" I asked.

He shrugged.

"Well, you'll eat tonight," I said, "Joanie'll love having someone to cook for besides just me. And I still have a couch that folds out."

"Your wife going to be okay with you bringing me home?"

I didn't know how to explain that even when I didn't physically bring my kids home, they came home with me all the same.

"Probably but that's for me to worry on and not you," I told him.

"What's she like?" he asked, "She pretty?"

I laughed, "That's the dumbest question I've heard. No man marries a woman who isn't at least pretty in his eyes. As for what she's like, see for yourself because we're here."

We walked up to the apartment and went in. Jesse looked uncertain but I sort of scowled at him.

"I said I'd look out for you and honestly I don't trust leaving you in the hall," I told him, "Now get in there."

We walked in and Jesse sniffed the air. Being as school hadn't started yet; Joanie was taking a lot of joy in being domestic and cooking wonderful meals every night. It smelled amazing in the little apartment and I think I even heard that poor boy's stomach growl.

Joanie came to the door to meet me and seeing Jesse only stopped her for a moment before she continued to me to give me a kiss.

"How was work?" she asked as if Jesse wasn't standing there. She knew I'd get to him and also knew he was feeling awkward and didn't want a bunch of attention heaped on him right then.

"Short day," I said, "I was needed elsewhere. This is Jesse."

"It's good to meet you, Jesse," she said giving him a hug, "I've heard a good deal about you, unless there are two Jesses."

"Nope this is the one," I said, "Dinner smells great, honey."

"It's almost done," she replied, "Jesse, why don't you get washed up? The bathroom is pretty easy to find. It's the room that doesn't have a bed in it."

Once Jesse was in the bathroom she turned to me, "He doesn't have anyone else, does he?"

"Not a soul," I confirmed, "I don't think he's been eating or sleeping either. I don't know where I can find for him but at least for tonight I couldn't abandon him."

"I have an idea about that but we'll talk more later. Right now I need to finish supper so we can get something in that child's belly."

She started to head to the kitchen and then turned back to me.

"When I hugged him, he thought I was going to strike him."

Her eyes were moist and her voice cracked. It was a statement but she said it as a question as if she was begging me to tell her it wasn't so.

"He probably did," I said, "He thought I was going to beat him too. I'm sorry I didn't call first, Joanie. It's just, he's me when I was that age."

I could see her blink back the tears she'd shed later, "I know. I'm not upset with you. I'm proud of you."

She kissed me and blinked a few more times and then turned to finish getting dinner on the table. I followed to help her.

Brief note to explain that Jackson is Jackson State Prison. It is one of two maximum security prisons in the state. The other is Marquette in the U.P. but I believe that one is still largely for our more nutty criminals...Lansing's serial killer Donald Miller is there I believe. Yucky soul that he is. I think that's all I need to explain.-J