Dinner went well and I think Joanie was glad that she had made so much. Jesse just kept piling the food on his plate. I know Joanie's original plan was to have leftovers the next day but she positively beamed watching the kid eat. There was a cake for dessert and Jesse probably ate half of it himself. I was worried he might make himself sick but he really needed a good feeding. We tried to keep the conversation light and relatively normal.

"So how was your day?" I asked Joanie.

"You know Uncle Eli just took on a new case," she said and I nodded, "Well, Noah's busy with a case for Daddy so Uncle Eli has me doing his research and even wants me to write one of the motions."

"That's wonderful," I said and I was so proud of her. For all of her searching and questioning, she had found her calling after all.

"I'm afraid it means the end of your proper wife meeting you at the door with supper almost ready," she said looking down like any of that mattered one little bit to me.

"I don't mind at all," I said honestly, "It'll get us used to a routine more like we'll have once school starts back up."

"I guess we did know this would be short-lived."

I could see things turning over in Jesse's head until he couldn't hold it in anymore.

"You're happy about research and writing?" he asked her and then turned to me without waiting for a response. "And you're happy about her being gone more? Aren't you two newlyweds?"

Joanie and I laughed a bit at his words and maybe even his youth.

"What's so funny?"

I took a deep breath before beginning, "Research, writing and even learning can be pretty great if you're learning about stuff you care about. We aren't done going to school, either one of us. We both want to do things that require more schooling. Joanie's going to be a lawyer and being allowed to put together a motion before she even starts law school is a bit honor."

"Why do you have to go to school more?" he asked me, "You finished college."

"To be what I want to be to help people the way I want to help them, I need another degree that should take just a couple years more."

I know he didn't get it but that was the work I wanted was to help him get it. Even if he never saw the need for college, if I could show him a life that lead somewhere other than a six foot hole or a ten by six at Jackson then I could feel I'd done right by him. I knew I wouldn't save every kid and I knew I had lost one that very afternoon though I think that one I had met only once and that was briefly but I felt like it was just imperative to reach Jesse. It wasn't just that he was savable; it was that he was still hoping for someone like me. I remembered when I still hoped for someone to save me. By the time that Al took me on, I had given up that hope and thought I didn't even want it anymore. I had to get through to Jesse and I had to do it before he gave up hope and belief.

We spent the evening watching TV. Joanie cuddled up to me on the couch and then patted the spot next to her. Jesse looked at me awkwardly but sat down anyway. There was another chair in the room but I knew what Joanie was doing and it just showed that she instinctively knew how to do the things it took me four years of college to learn. She was trying to teach him family and trust and the start of that was trusting him and not banishing him to the other chair. And part of it was having him be close to people and not be hurt. Sometime in the evening she put her arm around his bony shoulders. He stiffened at first but she kept her arm right there and rubbed a little at his back until he quit tensing up so much. I squeezed her hand. I know her big heart had a price attached to it and I had no idea at that time how great the price would be. Right then I was just grateful I had found someone like her to share my life.

Later on, Joanie went to get ready for bed and I unfolded the sofa bed and made it all up for Jesse. I watched him as he checked the front door five or six times to make sure it was locked.

"You're going to be okay," I said softly, "You're safe. No one here wants to hurt you."

He still looked uncertain so I sat down in the chair.

"Not everyone hits kids," I said trying to look him in the eye but he was content to pick at and study the blanket. "It just seems like it when you're the one getting beat on."

He stayed quiet.

"So tell me, do the emergency room docs still believe that a fall down the stairs leaves boot shaped marks on your ribs or finger marks around your neck?"

I could see the hitching breath he took as he nodded.

"Another one of your kids?" he asked.

I shook my head, "Me. My best friend too and a few others. I'll bet you thought you were the only one and it was something you did that turned nice normal people into violent monsters."

"I'm a bad kid," he said in this really tiny voice, "I make people mad."

I wanted to cry myself at hearing that and I think my tears sprang up mostly because I remember thinking the very same thing about myself.

"There's no such thing as a bad kid," I said, "You make mistakes sometimes, sure, but everyone does and not everyone ends up in the emergency room for it. You say the word, and I hope to God you do, and I'll make it so you never, ever have to go back again. There are nice people out there who'd love to help you learn from your mistakes."

"You can do that?" he asked, "Get me out of there?"

"Yeah," I answered, "I can and I will. You have my word."

I got up to leave and head to bed.

"Mr. Hickok?"

I turned back to him, "For God's sake Jesse, call me Jimmy."

Some situations I had to have my kids address me formally but most of the time I found it worked better if they could be a little less formal with me. Some called me James but most got more comfortable with Jimmy or just Jim.

"Jimmy then," he corrected and smiled a little at that. I realized that until that point I had been an authority figure to him and I had just changed into a friend and ally. "Will you tell your wife thank you for me? I don't know if I could find the words but she's been real nice to me."

"I'll tell her," I told him, "But I think they way you devoured your dinner was thanks enough for Joanie."

I started to walk away again.

"Jimmy?"

I turned back to him trying to hide my frustration.

"She's real pretty. I hope someday I find someone pretty as her and nice like that too."

"I hope you do too, Jesse, I really do."

I started back for my bedroom and he called to me once more.

"What is it, Jesse?" I asked and I know my impatience was creeping into my voice.

"I just," he began and paused like he was really thinking and I could see the tears standing in his eyes. "Thank you for well, just thanks."

"Aside from the fact that I feel responsible for you," I said, "You've kind of grown on me. Just don't scare me again like you did today, alright?"

He nodded. I'm not sure anyone had ever worried for his safety before. I made my way into the bedroom where Joanie was sitting up and reading a book.

"You get him all tucked in?" she asked like I was babysitting Timmy or Lisa or something.

"I think he's settled for the night," I answered.

"Are you alright?" she asked, "I can see he's bringing up a lot of memories for you."

"I'll be fine as long as I can save him. I have to help him, I just have to" I told her as I started to shake, "He could have been killed today. Another boy was killed right next to him and Jesse could have been killed too. I've only known him a few months but it would just, I, well, I can't let anything happen to him. I have to find a way to reach him."

"You will," she assured me wrapping her arms around me as I crawled between the sheets. "If anyone can help that boy it is you."

I just stayed there a while in the warmth of her embrace and then thought of something.

"You said you had a thought on where he could go," I said, "I am open to ideas. I know how to get the paperwork and all that done to get him out of his home and into another but I don't want to put him just anywhere. The last thing he needs is to be at the mercy of the system."

"That was never my intention," she said, "I thought, well, I know Uncle Saul and Aunt Edna have wanted to take in a child for some time and they were looking to take on an older child too. They used to want a baby and when she couldn't have any they thought about adoption but it never came to be so they started thinking about foster care. If you can take him to work with you tomorrow and keep him busy helping you and Al then I can talk to Uncle Saul when I go to the office."

I kissed her deeply then. It was the only way I could express the words that wouldn't come to me to tell her how wonderful she was.

We slept well for a while until the screams jolted us awake. I told Joanie to stay put while I checked out the apartment but of course she followed me and when she saw Jesse thrashing and crying out in his sleep she pushed past me in the doorway and ran to him.

"Stop!" he yelled, "Please stop! Mommy, don't let him, oh please don't let him do this!"

Joanie turned on a lamp and sat down on the bed and reached out to touch him. She nearly got smacked for her trouble of getting so close to him. He wasn't awake and I could hardly hold it against him but I wanted to run in and pull her away from him all the same, just to keep her safe. She ducked without a second thought and reached for him again.

"Jesse," she called to him shaking at his shoulder, "Jesse, wake up. You're safe. It's alright."

He stopped thrashing but was still asleep. He curled into a tiny ball under the tangled blankets and whimpered.

"Mommy, why didn't you help me? Why'd you let him do that? No, Mommy, no!"

Joanie shook him harder and he opened his eyes with a start and then scooted as far from her as he could.

"I'm sorry," he said his eyes darting from her to me and back again, "I'm sorry. I'll be good. I promise I will."

I could see Joanie's shoulders shake and I knew the tears were running down my cheeks as well. Joanie didn't try reaching for him; she just opened her arms with her palms up and spoke gently to him.

"You are a good boy, Jesse. You've always been a good boy."

I went over and crouched next to the bed to look less threatening.

"Joanie's right. You are a good kid," I said softly, "One of the best kids I've met."

He blinked a few times trying to figure out what was happening. Nothing in his life experience had prepared him for how we were acting toward him.

"I woke you up," he said, "Aren't you mad?"

"Not at you, Jesse," I said, "There's nothing to be mad for. It's not your fault."

He scooched across the bed toward us like he still wasn't all sure it wasn't a trick. Joanie took one of his hands and I took the other. We sure the hell didn't want to scare him by reaching for him too much. Tears were running pretty heavy for all of us and then somehow Jesse ended up in Joanie's arms with her rocking slightly back and forth. I took my hand and brushed the hair away from his face that was still all sweaty from those dreams and then I rubbed his back. He fell asleep in Joanie's arms and I helped her lay him back down and cover him back up to get his sleep.

We went back to our room stopping only briefly in the doorway to look back at the poor boy sleeping in our living room.

"We make a pretty good team," she said.

"That's exactly why I married you," I told her.

Heart. Breaking. I'm going to go look at pictures of baby animals for a bit but you all enjoy this, okay?-J