We did go back to sleep after that but I think we were both listening for Jesse to have more problems. I know I had a few bad dreams of my own and Joanie must have noticed because when I woke in the morning, she was holding tight to me like she'd been lending me her strength all night and I supposed she had been.

"Good morning, my love," she said, "Are you alright this morning?"

That wasn't her normal line in the morning but I think she was a little concerned for me.

"A little tired," I admitted, "But I think I'm doing okay today."

She kissed me and then smiled, "I'm glad." Her smile was bright on the surface but there was a look in her eye that spoke of worry and sadness.

We dressed and readied quickly and then went out to the kitchen, or Joanie did. I went over to gently shake Jesse awake.

"Hey Jesse," I said, "It's time to get up."

He blinked a few times and looked confused and a little scared for a minute and then he smiled a little sheepishly.

"Oh hey Jimmy," he said, "Look I really am sorry I woke you up last night."

"Jesse," I said sitting down for a minute, "You had a bad dream. I get 'em myself and Joanie does too from time to time."

I stood then and put my hands on my hips.

"Now come on and get some breakfast. You're coming to work with me today and we'll see about some paperwork and formally getting you clear of where you've been," I told him, "We've got an idea about where you could go but I'm going to make sure you're someplace good for you."

"Why're you doing all this, Jimmy?"

"Because no one did it for me."

"I can take care of myself," he said, "I have been anyway. I haven't been home in three weeks as it is."

"You look like you haven't eaten in that long too," I said, "Least not until last night."

He just looked down. I know he wanted me to think he was tough and grown up and didn't need anyone but I knew better, I had the same act when I was a kid.

"Get in there and get something to eat," I told him patting him on the shoulder. "Joanie won't leave until she knows you have something in your stomach."

We got him fed and Joanie had to get going. She had a longer drive to work than I did. She kissed me goodbye.

"Have a wonderful day," she said to me.

"You too," I said.

Then she came over and kissed Jesse on the cheek, "You have a good day too, Jesse."

"Thanks Joanie," Jesse said blushing a little. I thought I might need to warn the little punk to steer clear of my girl.

Joanie left and Jesse looked at me a little weird.

"What?" I asked.

"You've got it pretty good, you know?" he said to me, "Nice wife, real pretty and she kisses you goodbye every time she leaves."

"Well, we are newlyweds," I pointed out, "But I know what you mean. It looks a little too much like a Norman Rockwell painting, don't it?"

He nodded as I ushered him out the door.

"That's why you have to keep yourself open and don't mess yourself up too bad. You never know when your dream woman is going to come driving up to you in a cherry red Corvette."

"So, you work in some boring office or what?" Jesse asked me once we were in the car and on our way.

"Not by a long shot," I told him, "I don't actually have a job in social work yet."

"What do you do then?"

"Same thing I been doing since I was about your age," I answered, "Fix cars."

"We're going to a garage?"

I nodded, "It's pretty laid back there but I still need you to act like you've been in public before."

He looked like he was going to take issue with my choice of words and I meant for them to be a little teasing. I was trying to tell him that I knew he was a good kid and I just needed him to act like it. But his look of offense changed to a look of concern.

"Are you going to get in trouble with your boss for bringing me with you?"

"Not likely," I answered, "Al's good people. He'll cut you more slack than most but this is a place of business all the same."

We got to the shop and I set to getting the place ready to open for the day, turning on lights and getting the coffee started.

"This place is pretty cool," Jesse said looking around as the lights came on one by one.

About then Al walked in with the Freep under his arm whistling "It's a Long Way to Tipperary" or some such tune. I can't remember but that was one if his favorites. Jesse froze and I wasn't close enough to him to even put a hand on his shoulder to let him know things were okay. Al stopped on his way to his office and looked at Jesse and then looked at me like nothing was amiss.

"Morning Jimmy," he said as he did most mornings, "Did you go and hire me an assistant without telling me?"

"This is Jesse, Jesse James," I told him knowing that his comment was only a way of fishing for an introduction. "He's hanging out with me a while today."

I left it at that and kept a look on my face that said anything else ought to be discussed out of earshot of the kid. Al just nodded at me and then stuck his hand out to Jesse.

"Pleased to meet you, Jesse," he said as Jesse tentatively reached and shook the offered hand. "The name's Al Hunter."

Jesse looked unsure but mustered his best macho act, "Good to meet you too, Mr. Hunter."

Al smiled, "I didn't say my name was Mr. Hunter though, did I?"

Jesse looked down.

"It's alright, son," Al said gently and with a look that said he figured out why Jesse was with me. "We just don't hold much with formality around here. Call me Al. It's what the rest of the kids call me."

Jesse looked back up and smiled. He had a good smile when he was of a mind to haul it out. It'd land him a nice girl someday.

"Say Jesse," Al said like he was pondering something over in his mind. "Jimmy cut out of here a little early last night and the shop didn't get swept up. If you want to make a couple bucks I'd appreciate it if you could grab that broom over there and just get the place looking a little nicer before any customers think about wandering in."

"Sure thing, Al," Jesse said beaming. I remembered when I got the same smile. Al had a way of making you feel like you weren't a complete loser and for some of us kids, meeting Al was the first time we ever felt that way about ourselves.

I knew what Al was really up to and followed him into his office.

"How does that pretty little wife of yours feel about you bringing in the strays?"

"We didn't really get a chance to talk about it but she took to him pretty quick," I said, "Besides I'm not taking him in. He needs my help and I can't help him the same way if I become his guardian. He's been living on the streets. It's safer for him than home."

"Doesn't look like he's seen too many meals lately," Al noted.

"No," I agreed, "He's always been a gawky kid but he looks just way too thin right now. Joanie fed him good last night and this morning."

"Tell you what," Al said handing me a few dollars, "Give him this for sweeping up and then take him over to Emma's. See if she needs any help around the house. You know she'll want to feed him and she'll find something for him to do just so she can try to put a little meat on his bones. He'll be safe there."

I nodded and looked out to see Jesse diligently sweeping away. He wasn't lazy, that was for sure.

"You got a place for him to go?"

"Joanie's working on it," I told him, "Her Uncle Saul, you remember, he's the other partner at the firm."

Al nodded and Jesse appeared at the door of the office.

"I'm done," he said, "Is there anything else you need done?"

I handed him the money.

"Al doesn't have anything for you right now but his neighbor lady might," I told him, "Come on, I'll take you."

I started walking to Emma's.

"Who's this neighbor?" Jesse asked trying hard to keep the fear out of his voice.

"The closest thing to a real mom I ever had," I replied, "She's a real nice lady and her husband's at work right now so she might have some things around her house that need doing."

He looked at me strange.

"You trying to get rid of me, Jimmy?"

"There's nothing for you to do around the shop," I explained, "You'd be bored. You're less than a block from me and you know the way if you need anything or get to missing me."

"I don't need a babysitter, you know."

"I do know," I said, "But you do need to learn that there are nice people. I figure you can learn that from the same people who taught that to me. We're here."

I walked onto the porch and the door opened.

"I saw you coming up the walk," Emma said hugging me, "It's good to see you. Did you hear anything about the job yet?"

She kept talking like Jesse wasn't standing there. She learned a few things from me and one was that kids like Jesse and I guess like how I was too don't cotton to strangers throwing us in bear hugs.

"No word yet," I said, "Doubt I will though or if I do I can't see them hiring me."

She put a hand on my cheek, "That's no way to think. It hasn't been a week yet. Surely they'll have to see how perfect you would be for this job."

"They don't have to do anything they don't want to do, Emma."

She just frowned at me in that way she had that said she was never going to be convinced that the whole world couldn't see how precious her babies were. I never understood how she could feel that for me, or at least I couldn't until years later when I had my own kids and I knew then that no one can tell you anything bad about your children—not even the kids themselves—and it just seems inconceivable that anyone wouldn't see how amazing your kid is.

"Do I have to introduce myself?"

I looked over at Jesse and introduced the two of them.

"Jesse's hanging out today and we're not busy at the shop. I thought maybe you'd have something to do to keep him busy."

"I'm sure I do," she said, "Though I think at least part of what I need to keep him busy doing is eating."

She looked him over, "You are nothing but skin and bones, you poor dear."

Jesse looked at me helplessly and I just smiled at him. Emma would wear him down in no time and she might even have him fattened up by quitting time.

I left them and went back to the shop and got working on everything I hadn't gotten to the day before when I ran out so fast to get Jesse. I was working away when Al came out of his office.

"Jimmy," he called, "Your wife's on the phone."

I went in and picked up the receiver.

"I'm so sorry, James," she said, "Aunt Edna's sister just passed unexpectedly and they will be taking in her three daughters. They're already devastated girls and they just couldn't give the attention to Jesse that he would need as well. I'm sorry."

She sounded near panicked and I understood she felt she had let Jesse down and by extension, me.

"Joanie, calm down, honey," I said, "We'll figure something out. This isn't the end of the world, just a little hitch."

"I really thought this would work."

"I know," I told her, "It'll be alright though. We'll think of something else."

I got back to work and I'm sure I was quiet because I was thinking of what to do. I wasn't lying to Al when I said Jesse couldn't stay with us for a long term. Aside from the fact that I wouldn't be as big of a help to Jesse if I was his guardian also, there was the strain that would put on Joanie. I worried enough about what the start of school would do to her as it was, I could not allow her to bear the weight of helping care for an abused teenage boy also.

"Bad news?" Al asked pulling up a chair near the car I was working on.

"A setback," I said, "Uncle Saul and Aunt Edna can't take Jesse in."

"Hmm, looks like you might have a solution," Al said drawing my attention to the pair about to walk into the garage. "At least a temporary one."

Emma and Jesse walked in with Jesse carrying lunch for Al and me. Emma had an arm around his shoulders and he was smiling. I let Jesse head into Al's office with Al and stood outside with Emma.

"How's it going?" I asked.

"He's a great kid," she said, "How long is he staying with you?"

"Until I can find a good placement for him," I told her, "I can't let him stay on the street and I can't send him back where I know he'll just run away again. If I sent him back, I'd lose any chance of helping him for sure. He'd never trust me again."

"No," she said, "He wouldn't. He's a good kid, reminds me a little of you."

"Yeah he does me too."

"I should have gotten you away from them sooner," she said, "I wonder how you trust me at all."

"I came out okay."

She was about to say something when Sam walked into the garage.

"I'm here, Emma," he said like he was in a hurry, "Is everything okay?"

"It could be," she said and I took that as my cue to head into the office and get something to eat. I think I knew what she was trying to do and I could see the logic in it.

It wasn't long after I left Sam and Emma that they came in the office smiling. Emma introduced Sam to Jesse.

"Jesse," Emma began, "Sam and I wanted to invite you to come live with us."

"For how long?" Jesse asked.

"We were thinking forever," Sam answered.

Jesse looked at me.

"I don't know what you're looking at me for," I said, "You know I can't be your social worker and have you live with me. You could do a lot worse than these two but it's up to you."

It was pretty much decided at that point that Jesse would live with Sam and Emma. There was still plenty of paperwork to be done in order to make things official and legal but Jesse never went back to that sorry excuse for a home where they hurt him and he lived as Emma and Sam's kid from that day on.

It was another day before I got the phone call from the school asking me if I could come down again and talk. Al sent me on my way and said he'd work at teaching Jesse a few things. Jesse was around most days since he was only living around the corner.

I went to meet again with Mr. Whitehead. He looked a lot more relaxed at this meeting than he had at the last one. I had no idea what was happening. I really didn't have any experience with looking for a job. I'd never had to before. I thought maybe I needed to interview again. These days I probably would have had to interview two or three times at least but they didn't really do that sort of thing as much then. I also had a thought that he was telling me I didn't get it but then I thought he would have just told me that over the phone.

"Mr. Hickok," he began, "You know I had serious reservations about you."

I nodded.

"The only reason I interviewed you was your college record," he went on, "Your candid answers at our last meeting put you high on the list. In fact I became the man fighting for you."

I know I looked surprised at that. I was trying to keep a good poker face but that really shocked me.

"I brought you here today because I wanted to be the one to tell you that you did get the job and also because we have some paperwork to take care of."

I didn't know it when I first interviewed but Tom, we got on a first name basis that day, was a big proponent of school reform. He knew that times were changing and were going to change even more and schools were failing kids more and more and I don't mean handing out failing grades. I mean failing them, letting them fall through the cracks, letting them live like I lived and like Jesse had to live for far too long. We didn't really have the term "at-risk" yet for talking about these kids but something lacking a label doesn't make it not exist. Basically Tom wanted to start indentifying these kids we were at risk of losing to dropping out and maybe even to the court system and to violence.

"I've got to do something, Jim," he said to me, "It used to be enough to put someone up in front of the classroom to say some things and if they learned something they learned something and if they didn't, there were still opportunities. That's not always going to be the case and it's not even all about just teaching them reading and math anymore. Some of these kids aren't being taught things that parents once taught. They don't learn social skills or trust. Can I ask you something personal?"

I nodded.

"Were you abused by your parents? You alluded to as much but I don't want to move forward on an erroneous assumption."

"Yeah," I said, "They beat me pretty bad."

"And we in the schools expected you to learn from us when you couldn't even trust us to see to your basic safety. It's ridiculous of us to think we can accomplish anything like that."

I agreed with him.

"At least that was my argument to my superiors when I said I needed to hire you, Jim."

"Thanks for going to bat for me," I said and he just nodded.

I went home that night with plans to take my girl out for dinner to celebrate what would be a better situation for us. When she got home though I realized I might have to change my plans. She was on the warpath. Apparently Noah was driving somewhere with his new girlfriend Rosemary and he got pulled over. The officer asked Rosemary over and over if she needed help basically accusing Noah of holding her hostage. She told the officer she was fine and was with her boyfriend. The officer didn't believe her and arrested Noah. Mr. Cohen had to go and get the charges dropped and eventually there was an apology issued but it still shouldn't have happened. Joanie was steamed. I got her calmed down eventually but it became a night for ordering takeout instead of going out.

"I'm sorry," she said, "I made everything about me. How was your day?"

"I got the job," I said.

She looked at me a moment and then it was like the news sank in and she rushed to me and wrapped her whole body around me kissing me all over my face and neck.

"I knew you would get it," she said between kisses, "I just knew you would."

She pulled back when she realized I wasn't kissing her back.

"James what's wrong?" the passion with which she had been decrying the entire law enforcement community only minutes earlier was now focused on me in the form of worry. I didn't want to worry her and I didn't want to answer her question, not after everything we'd been through.

"I'm not sure I can do this," I said.

"Everyone is nervous when they start a new job," she said, "Once you get settled you'll be fine, you'll see."

"It's not just nerves, Joanie," I argued, "I'm not sure I can work every day with kids like Jesse, kids like me."

I was sitting on the davenport and she was straddling me with her arms still frozen around me. She slid off my lap to one side but kept her arms around me and pulled me over to where I was sort of laying on her while she stroked my head.

"Tell me about the dreams," she said and I wasn't expecting that question. I didn't even understand that question.

"After Jesse's nightmare, you thrashed most of the night and muttered things in your sleep. What did you see?"

"Joanie, I can't," I began but she cut me off with a soft kiss.

"You have to," she said, "I think you know you do. That wasn't the first night I noticed your bad dreams. You got me through mine after Stan. Please let me do this for you."

It all came flooding out then, the helplessness I felt and the lack of hope. I told her about the times I came home to the monster my old man could turn into and how my mom just sat there like it meant nothing to her what he was doing. Those were the times I could even get into the place. Other times I would find the door was locked. When I was lucky those times Kid could sneak me into his place. When I wasn't lucky, I was on the street. The street was scarier than my folks. I'd try to stay on the roof but that didn't always work.

"One night a guy who seemed nice enough offered me a place to stay," I said, "I thought he was just being a good guy and trying to help me."

I could see her tears renew as she figured out how wrong I was.

"I got away once I figured out what he wanted in return," I said, "Not that I really understood that at that time. I just knew it didn't feel right. When the dreams come, I can't get away from him."

She hugged me tighter and kissed the side of my head.

"You're safe now."

"I know," I said and I felt more than safe in her arms. I felt invincible except for one thing. "I can't live like this, Joanie. These kids are going to make me live these memories all the time. I want to help them so badly but I don't think I can."

"You can," she said, "I know it will be hard at first but once you can use the terrible things that happened to you to help someone else, you'll see."

"See what?"

"That you can't do anything else with your life."

Okay...couple small notes...one is that I have used that line, "act like you've been in public before" on my own kids.

Also, it is still not uncommon for someone to get pulled over because the police see a white woman and black man in the same car and assume it is some carjacking/kidnapping. as much as I really don't like Rosemary this isn't her fault. And only part of the reason I don't like Rosemary has to do with what she was in the series (manipulative user) and more of it is what I know she's going to do in this story (evil doomydoom bringing manipulative user). So...yeah.-J