"She did what?" I demanded not believing what I had been told. I was on the porch at Al and Emma's with Al, Sam and Jesse.
"She fainted," Jesse said, "Last night bringing popcorn into the living room while we were watching TV."
"She said she was okay when she came to," Sam said but he didn't look convinced.
"How is she today?" I asked.
"She looks pale and a little too weak," Sam answered, "Finally talked her into calling the doctor tomorrow."
"Good thing too," Jesse said, "She's not eating either."
"For how long?" I asked him.
"Couple weeks, I guess," he replied.
I stalked off into the house. It wasn't that I didn't trust Sam and Jesse to take care of her. You'd be hard pressed to find two men who thought more of her or loved her more but I needed to see her myself. When I got to the kitchen Joanie was prodding Emma to sit down.
"I'm more than capable of stirring gravy and mashing potatoes, Emma," Joanie said.
"But you're a guest," Emma protested trying to stand. Joanie gently placed her hands on Emma's shoulders and pushed her back into the chair.
"Nonsense," Joanie said, "We're family. You sit and supervise and I'll be your little worker bee."
She looked up and spotted me.
"James," she said, "Would you please get your mother a glass of water and convince her to sit down. She's looking awfully woozy."
I got Emma a glass of water and sat down next to her.
"You're shaky, Emma," I noted, "Jesse and Sam said you fainted last night."
"I'll be fine, Jimmy," she said but there was a waver in her voice. "They're making me go to the doctor tomorrow."
"Well, good," I said, "You're looking far too pale."
"I am fine and I am fully capable of cooking a Sunday dinner," Emma protested but then wilted back in the chair when she tried to get up again."
"Jesse says you've been feeling bad for a couple weeks now," I said, "Why haven't you seen a doctor?"
"Because it's nothing, Jimmy," she said, "I am perfectly fine."
"Well fine or not," Joanie said, "I'm finishing dinner and you are sitting right there. I'll drive you tomorrow too. If you're feeling lightheaded you shouldn't be driving."
Emma rolled her eyes but knew she was outnumbered and that we were willing to call in reinforcements if we had to. Sam and Jesse would back us up for sure. I made sure that Joanie had everything under control and told her to call me if she needed help. I've never been accused of being any kind of chef but I can find my way around a kitchen alright. Then I went out to the porch to sit with the men and shoot the breeze a little. I think Sundays were the best days for Jesse and Sam. They wanted to get along so badly but they just didn't know how when left to their own devices but when Al and I were there suddenly everything sort of fit into place for them. I was barely sat down when Buck's car came to a stop in front of the house. I saw the back door of the car open and Lisa ran toward me. No one else in the car seemed to move for a while.
"Uncle Jimmy!" Lisa hollered climbing the porch steps and hugging herself to my leg. I picked her up onto my lap and saw the tears rolling down her chubby little cheeks. Well, there's not much to be done then but hold onto her. So I hugged that little girl tight to me and then the two front doors of the car opened and out waddled a very pregnant Carol from the passenger side and Buck's head became visible over the other side of the car.
"Well, I'm staying where I am," I heard Buck yell at her. "If you want to run to Mommy that's just fine."
"Maybe I just will!" she screamed back at him. "At least people like me there!"
"Just do what the hell you want," he hollered, "You're damned good at that!"
"Yeah, that's just what we'll do!"
"We?" he yelled and right then was madder than I had ever seen him. Joanie appeared at my side and I didn't protest at all when she lifted Lisa from my arms. I knew she wanted to get the poor child away from the argument. It was a good plan and one I should have thought of myself.
"Who the hell is this 'we'?" he nearly screamed at her, "She's my daughter too, remember? You do what the hell you want but you are not going to keep taking my little girl with you! I'm sick of being the one punished for what you did!"
"Fine!" she stomped as she yelled it, "I'm leaving!"
Buck stormed toward the house and Al and I both jumped up to head him off. I took one look at Jesse who was nearly curled into a ball in his seat and then at Sam who had just noticed the same thing and leaned over to speak softly to the boy. They might just be alright after all.
Al and I reached Buck before he got to the porch.
"Son," Al began, "What in tarnation was that all about?"
"None of your business, Al," Buck said through gritted teeth.
"Let's you and me go for a walk, Buck," I said quietly.
"I have to go in and see to Lisa," he said and fire still shone in his eyes.
"Lisa's with Joanie," I said, "She's fine. You don't really want her to see you like this right now, do you? Just walk with me."
Buck relented and stalked off ahead of me. I let him walk a few feet in front of me for a while and said nothing, just watched him. After a few blocks I saw his shoulders slump. He stopped and then turned.
"I think it's over, Jimmy," he said and he looked heartbroken, "I don't think I can try anymore. Do you think Joanie's dad or someone in his office can help me get Lisa? I can't live like this anymore but I don't want to lose my little girl."
"What about the baby?" I asked.
"Let its father worry about it."
Well, that explained a hell of a lot.
"It's not yours?"
"Probably not, oh hell, I don't know," he said, "She says she thinks it is but I don't know how she could know one way or the other."
"What in the hell happened?"
"She cheated Jimmy," he said.
"I got that part," I told him, "I mean what happened? Did she say why? Did she tell you?"
"She thought I was having an affair," he said bitterly, "Me, Jimmy. My whole life I've been with one woman ever. All that time never wanted anyone but her. I'm gone all the time making money to keep a roof over her head and food on the table and she accuses me of cheating. So she says she wanted to get back at me and besides she was lonely because I wasn't home so much. We used to fight all the time about the hours I worked. I got the new job and then she wasn't as interested in being with me. Seems she decided she liked the guy she slept with to get back at me for supposedly sleeping around. She found out she was pregnant and was acting really funny about it and she told me it was because she was worried something would be wrong with the baby. It wasn't until after her lover—God, I can't even believe I just used that word, she's my damned wife—but her lover broke it off and away went her thoughts of him whisking her off to wherever so they could live happily ever after so she came clean to me. She knows that this kid might not look a thing like me."
"Is there a chance it's yours?" I asked.
"Anything's possible," he said and he leaned against a tree as the strength seemed to go out from him.
"Does she want out?"
"She says she still loves me," he said, "That she sees how wrong she was and what a good man I am. It's BS. If she loved me she wouldn't have done this. Of all the people in the world she's the last I would have figured to start whoring around."
I had to agree to that. Carol always actually seemed a little too proper almost. I surely never in a million years would have thought she'd be unfaithful. This was heavy and my good friend was near to tears over it which meant he still loved her. I hated what I had to ask next but I really had to anyway.
"Lisa says you and Carol fight a lot which is understandable under the circumstances," I began, "I hate asking but I have to and I think you know that one some level. Have these fights gone past yelling?"
"She threw a plate at me once," he said, "Lisa was with Annie and Ike and the kids, thank God. It scares me though, Jimmy because I've wanted to hit her more than once. I really have but you know I don't want to turn into that guy that hits his wife and makes his kids see that."
"I know," I said and put a hand on his shoulder, "You are a good man. So she's been at her folks' a lot, huh?"
"Yeah," he said, "And that's the worst of it. It's not even just that she takes Lisa with her and I don't get to see my little girl for days on end but how can we even try to work through this if she's gone all the time? How can I believe she still loves me when she's always running away from me?"
"Would she agree to counseling?" I asked.
"Like a shrink?" he looked at me like I was the one that needed one. "I don't think she'd agree to that."
"Not really a shrink," I said, "It's one of the things social workers can do. You get to be in a room with someone who's impartial and where the only rules are that everyone gets to talk and be respected."
"Can you do that?"
"I know how but I can't for you," I said, "I said you need someone impartial for that and I'm not. You're my brother and I like Carol fine and I'd like to see you guys get past this. I know that still might not save your marriage but yelling all the time like that is bad for Lisa and I think you both know that. I know some people. It doesn't have to be in an office, it can be at your home, whatever is comfortable."
"I can talk to you though, right?"
"You're my brother," I told him, "Another unofficially adopted child of Emma's. You can talk to me any time and about anything."
"Well, that will tick her off again," he said, "It was bad enough when I told Ike. But I had to tell someone and I don't have folks like she does."
"I know," I said, "You know what else is kind of cool about talking to me?" He shook his head. "Not only would I be bound to keeping your secrets because we're friends and damned near brothers but I can't tell because of my profession as well."
"Not even Joanie?"
"Not even Joanie," I confirmed.
"Do you think any of the lawyers at her dad's could help?"
"Buck," I said, "I don't know what you're going through but I don't think you really want a divorce and I think you've got some options before you do that. I think that's a last resort."
"I still love her," he said looking frail. That was another thing I'd never seen him be. Buck was always such a stoic. He never seemed too high or too low. Right then though he just looked raw.
"Somehow you'll get through this," I said, "You're stronger than you think."
"I might need you to remind me of that from time to time."
"Nope," I said, "You don't need me to. Take out your wallet."
"What, you're charging me?" he asked digging his wallet out of his back pocket.
I shook my head taking it from him and opening it. I was right about what I'd find first thing upon opening it.
"Just making you see the only thing you need to get through this."
I handed it back opened to the picture of Lisa smiling with her perfect dark curls and her sparkly blue eyes. I could see the tears starting to form in his eyes as he took his wallet back and stared at the picture a moment. He sighed heavily before putting the wallet away. I saw a lot of parents in my time working with kids that wouldn't have been moved by that and that's sad to say but I knew my friend Buck and I knew that there was no greater motivation in his life than that precious child. If only all the kids I met had parents that loved them as deeply and purely as Buck loved Lisa, well, I guess I would have been out of a job but I would have been glad to have been. Sometimes it's nice to be needed but sometimes you wish you weren't.
We wandered back to Emma's talking about anything but Buck and Carol's problems. I told him how impressed I was with how quick she picked up the signs.
"She loves Timmy," he explained, "And she hates thinking for a second that he'll be left out of anything so she makes sure she can talk to him always."
We walked in as dinner was being set on the table.
"About time the two of you showed up," Billy said when he saw us, "I think Emma was about to send us out to search for you."
"Well wouldn't it just be a tragedy, Billy," I said, "If your stomach had to wait."
"Now you know I'm not thinking about myself, Jimmy," he said, "But I don't think the lady here has had anything to eat yet today."
"Your chivalry is overwhelming, Will," Sherry said dryly, "Keep it up and I might just get the vapors."
"You're here now," Emma said, "So we should eat."
We all sat down and Jesse was right, Emma barely touched what was on her plate. It appeared that even looking at the food made her stomach turn. I was grateful she was going to the doctor the next day.
"Will," Sherry said annoyed, "I am perfectly capable of dishing my own food. Honestly, I've managed to not waste to nothing for twenty-two years."
"I know, Sherry," he said looking contrite. This was surely a day of firsts for me because I wasn't even sure that before meeting Sherry Billy even knew the meaning of the word contrite. I could see changes in him when he was with her. Good changes, the kind of changes that happen when we finally grow up; that was it after all, we were finally seeing the man Billy was meant to be and I think even the man he wanted to be. I always knew I liked Sherry. He'd have to do a little breaking through her armor though. She had built up a good wall to have accomplished what she had being a woman in a man's field. As much as I appreciated her no nonsense attitude, Billy was going to have to find what all she had hidden behind that wall and it wasn't going to be an easy feat.
"Don't pout, Will," she said caving just a tiny amount, "I know you're just trying to be sweet."
"Aww, but Sherry," he protested, "You're nicer to me when I pout."
He leaned over and kissed her and I think the kiss threatened to become less than table appropriate but for Emma loudly clearing her throat.
"William Cody!" she chastised, "Not at the dinner table!"
"Sorry Emma," Billy said returning his attention to his plate while Sherry smirked.
Lots going on here...hmmm...let's just see what you all think, okay?-J