Emma leaned forward as much as her belly allowed and pressed a kiss to Noah's forehead.

"I still wish you'd move the wedding up or something," she said softly, "But you know this doesn't change how I feel about you, right? You're still family to me, one of my boys."

I could see Noah's eyes get moist. Emma could have that effect on people and you might not know it because she was such a no-nonsense lady but she could love something fierce. I think Noah was a little more accustomed to having someone love him like that because of the aunt that raised him but I know even she tore him a new one over knocking up his fiancée and I think she wasn't even too thrilled with his choice of fiancée. Even Emma didn't care so much about that. She only ever saw how happy Noah was and that was all that ever mattered to her about any of us.

I heard the door open behind me and saw anger flicker in Jesse's eyes and knew Rosemary had come in from the cold. Emma looked up and without even turning her head knew what Jesse's reaction was. She was quick to diffuse it in her own special style.

"You must be frozen dear," she said to Rosemary, "Come sit down. Jesse, go fetch that blue afghan from the hall closet. It's the warmest. As you said, we need to take care of ourselves for our babies."

Jesse did as he was told. Anyone else in the world and he would have protested but there was something about Emma that made you want to do anything for her even if you thought it was stupid. He got back quickly with the blanket like he didn't want to leave Emma alone too much with this woman who had already upset her so.

"I should apologize, Emma," Rosemary said looking at her lap once Noah had wrapped the afghan around her. "I didn't even think of how that news might upset you."

"This isn't the first little surprise to come toddling through our lives," Emma told her as she reached over and patted Rosemary's hands. "I expect we'll all get through it just as we have before. Lord, knows little Lisa is an angel straight from heaven even if she did cause some friction when we first learned about her."

"I really didn't mean to upset you, Emma. I suppose I'm just so excited about this and if I'm honest, maybe a little scared too," Rosemary said with a hint of a pout that even made me want to run over and comfort her. I might have too but Noah beat me to it "I think I cover the fear with more excitement. I know we will have the most beautiful baby. I just want to focus on the happy parts and try to forget about the scary parts."

"You know I've never asked but don't you have family somewhere?" Emma asked, "A mama or sisters to help you?"

"My mother died in childbirth and all I had was a brother, Isaiah," Rosemary explained, "He's gone now too."

"He was on the front lines down south," Noah interjected to save Rosemary from having to speak of her brother's death. We'd all in time learn the details of Isaiah's death but at that time it was enough to know he was in the civil rights movement in the south. It's not like I hadn't seen Aaron when he came home from Montgomery.

Emma slid from her seat and shifted over to the sofa where Rosemary was sitting and held her close while Rosemary cried for her brother.

"Then I guess we'll just have to get through this together, sweetie," Emma said smoothing Rosemary's hair, "At my age I'm a little scared too so maybe we can be strong for each other."

I know seeing the sadness and almost childlike fear on her face, I was grateful Emma could be there for her. I know Noah was too.

It wasn't long before Sherry and Joanie were calling us to the table for dinner. I guess the rest of the dinner was uneventful but Joanie kept shooting these strange looks in Rosemary's direction and I couldn't quite place them. They looked almost hostile but I couldn't see Joanie being that way. I know she talked often of how she didn't like Rosemary's sometimes nearly militant tactics but that couldn't be it, they were on the same side after all. I eventually came to realize that on a few key issues they were not on the same side at all.

Joanie was strange once we got home. I don't mean she was running around babbling and waving her arms in the air or anything. Just not her regular self is all. I knew something about Rosemary had upset her somehow but there was no way I was touching that topic.

"So, Sherry and Billy have been talking about marriage?"

"I don't think very seriously," she said, "Sherry's a little scared to marry him, I think. Don't take this the wrong way, because you know I like Billy and all, but he doesn't come off like good husband material. Besides, I think she's worried he'll expect her to be like his mom. She's so, well, you know, she's such a typical housewife."

I did know and it seemed odd to me that with all the fear I had that Joanie would expect that of herself that Sherry was worried Billy'd expect it of her. Sherry was no Donna Reed and she surely wouldn't be vacuuming in her pearls and having a batch of cookies hot from the oven ready when the kids got home or dinner promptly on the table when her husband came home. Billy was raised with that but I think he liked her being something different.

"She getting that fear because he's stalling?" I asked.

"I think a little," Joanie said, "But he was quite the ladies man before they met. She doesn't doubt he's faithful to her now but still, she worries. She's not made of stone."

"I know that, Joanie," I told her, "And I can't do much about her security as far as her fears about his roving eye. He'll always look and he'll always have that past but he doesn't want anyone but her anymore. As for the stalling, he's not stalling because he thinks he might find something better. He wants to be something better. He doesn't want her married to the guy who just did the on the scene report about the cat up a tree."

"She doesn't care about that," Joanie said simply.

"You know, Joanie," I said to her, "I don't care what you look like in the morning either but you do and you've convinced yourself that I should care. There's lots of stuff men think women care about and women think men care about and we're all wrong but it doesn't change anything. I think he's on the edge of some good stuff at work and I wouldn't be surprised if he celebrates his first big story with buying a ring."

"Billy Cody is insecure about something?" Joanie asked but not really asked, you know, "I think now I have heard everything."

"When I first met you I thought you were positively fearless," I told her, "We all put on a little of a brave face for the rest of the world. Bill's got a lot more to him than most would guess. I just hope he's letting Sherry in on it. He's a good guy once you get past the bluster."

"How could you have ever thought that about me?"

"You don't really know how you present yourself?" I asked and she shook her head. "Huh, well, I always thought it was on purpose to cover how scared I know you are sometimes. Imagine we've been together nearly five years and I'm just learning this now. You strike people at first blush as being confident and fearless, independent and completely self-sufficient. I know now that you need other people and you have fears like the rest of us. I learned that the hard way. I just thought the brave façade was intentional."

"I guess to some extent or another it is. I don't put it there consciously though," she said sort of defensively.

"Joanie," I said gently, "You don't think that was some sort of insult or anything, do you? I was surely sporting some attitude when we first met and I'd like to think you've realized that's not the real me either."

"I have," she told me, her voice soft, "I know you were just trying to protect yourself."

She walked to me and placed a hand so tenderly on the side of my face.

"I should have had more patience with you from the start," her voice was barely above a whisper and even that had a small hitch in it.

I took her hand and kissed her finger tips, "I should have been less of a jerk."

"At least you never tried to make my decisions for me," she said dropping her hands to her side and looking completely frustrated. "I haven't ever done that to you, have I? Make decisions for you, I mean."

"I don't believe so," I answered, "I like to think we're a pretty good thinking team as far as making decisions. Who's making choices for someone else?"

"Well, Billy for one," she said, "Deciding who he wants Sherry married to like she shouldn't have some say in the matter and Rosemary for another."

"I get Billy and I have a feeling Sherry will put her foot down if need be," I said, "But Rosemary?"

"I'm pretty sure she got pregnant on purpose," she snapped as if I had done it.

"Now, Joanie, you can't know that."

"You're right," she nearly growled, "I can't for sure but it would be just like her to try to make a point like that. She just lives to be shocking."

"That's awful harsh, sweetheart," I said, "She's scared and without any family but us right now."

"Did you know not pushing the wedding up was her idea?" she spat at me, "So scared of this that she wants to make her statement waddling her eight months pregnant self down the aisle to her black husband. Do you know how that makes Noah look?"

I did at that. No one outside would understand and he would be another irresponsible Negro shirking his responsibility.

"He wanted to push it up?" I asked, "He didn't mention that to Emma."

"Of course he didn't. He isn't going to go out of his way to make the woman he loves look bad. He'll play it off as a mutual decision but I know it's not. I talked to him."

"You don't know that. Maybe they did talk about it and reach this decision together," I said.

"I have a pretty good idea," she told me, "You want to talk about scared, Noah is terrified about this. He knows how bad this could get for him. He has a job at the firm but he doesn't want clients shying away from this immoral black man."

"I'd hate to think that their clients would do that. Your dad and the other partners have always been very vocal about civil rights."

"Believing in civil rights is all fine and good," she said, "The Anti-Defamation League is all about that and they are as much about helping blacks as the ACLU and the NAACP but even those who believe we're all equal will take some time to get used to a mixed couple and then with her flaunting her out of wedlock pregnancy, it will not go over well."

"I'm sure she just didn't consider all that," I said, "She's just so excited. She thinks this baby is a good thing."

That earned me a grumble from Joanie and I let it drop. Pursuing something after an angry grunt could land a guy on the couch. That was a fate I had managed to skirt earlier with some well placed words which was a rarity for me. Pressing my luck right then would not go well for me and I knew it. I opted for completely changing the subject.

"Emma looks good, don't you think?"

"And that's another thing," she started again angrily, "Not even a thought to what the stress of this announcement would do to poor Emma. It's not like Emma's done anything for her fiancé, hardly anything at all. Just been like a mother to him, just loved him like one of her own, just welcomed him into her family."

I'll admit that I thought all of this venom came from the fact that Joanie thought Rosemary was prettier than her. Rosemary was a beautiful woman but there was a spark in Joanie that was irresistible to me and I wasn't alone. I could see men admiring her when we were out together.

"Joanie, I really don't want to argue," I said holding up my hands in surrender, "Can we declare Rosemary an off limits subject for a while?"

She smiled at me and nodded and then looked unsure, "What do you want to talk about?"

"How about how sexy my wife is even when she's mad at me for being an idiot?"

She rolled her eyes at me but there was a glimmer of gratitude there as well.

"You roll your eyes all you want, ma'am but I'm going to carry you into that bedroom there and well, with those big brown eyes batting at me all day behind those glasses and those perfect lips I might just not be able to control myself."

I picked her up and put her over my shoulder and headed for the bedroom.

"James, you put me down this instant," she said but I'm pretty sure she was laughing at me all through her protestations. "You are being ridiculous."

I had her in the room by then and laid her gently down onto the bed brushing a stray curl from her face before I stood up straight.

"Joanie, there is nothing ridiculous about a man finding his wife sexy and wanting to do something about it," I told her, "You're just going to have to sooner or later deal with the fact that you do things to me that make me want to do things with you."

"What kind of things, James?" she asked and I noticed the glasses were on the nightstand so that I could see those big old doe eyes looking at me. I climbed onto the bed next to her and kissed her deeply.

"Kiss you within an inch of your life, for starters."

Well kissing was how things started but not how they ended. I didn't lie to her earlier that day either. She was the best I ever had.

We fell into a deep sleep but sometime in the night I came half awake and realized Joanie was holding tight enough to me that I might have marks around me the next day. I didn't want to wake her to find out what that was about, or the frightened noises she made in her sleep but I knew at some point I'd have to ask. It was possible there was just some dream that upset her or that she wouldn't even remember but if she was starting to have her nightmares again I wanted to know about it.

So, over coffee and eggs the next morning I brought it up.

"Did you sleep alright last night?"

She frowned at me and looked at me weird but then answered, "I slept very well, thank you. You?"

"I was fine," I said, "You know you leave me near comatose when you're done with me."

I took a sip of my coffee and watched her for a moment. She seemed fine but then I miss things with her even though I knew how high the stakes could be where her emotions were concerned.

"You'd tell me if something was bothering you, right?"

She looked up and just for a fraction of a second there it was, a look of almost fear. She masked it quickly and smiled at me.

"Of course I would, James," she assured me, "What a strange question."

"And you'd tell me if you were having bad dreams again, right?"

"Did I have one last night?" she asked as if she didn't know and I know she wanted me to think that she wasn't aware of whatever she'd dreamt. "I know I've had a few lately. Nothing like after Stan, but I have had a few that were just products of not feeling like I'm going to get this research together for Uncle Eli in time."

"I don't know if it was a bad dream or not," I told her, "I just know you had me in a death grip and you were making little whimpering noises. I worry, you know."

She smiled and stood to collect our plates to take to the sink then came over and kissed me.

"You're so good to me," she said, "But you'd better get moving or you'll be late for work and I'll be late for school."

I still got the feeling she was avoiding talking about something but she really didn't want to talk about it so all I could do was stay watchful and try to make her feel safe in telling me.

I'm sorry it took so long for this chapter to be written...I really do not like Rosemary and I need my own animosity for her to not come through so it can be hard to write. I don't think I have much to add to this chapter...I think the next few will have little to do with the Killer Queen as she has come to be known in certain circles...if you don't get it, look up the lyrics to the song by Queen.-J