I was sort of scowling at Joanie and I know it was childish but I was anyway.

"Oh stop that," she said, "I can't believe you are being such a baby about this."

"Joanie, I wear a suit and tie all week at work and then most Saturday mornings when we go to Temple," I whined like a little boy, "Now I got to tie this stupid noose around my neck again?"

"Honestly, James, I can't believe that's the only think you can think of," she said and I could see the tears forming in those big dark eyes. I was being a huge jerk though as long as we'd been together that shouldn't have come as any surprise to her. We were supposed to be going to a party her Uncle Eli was throwing to celebrate some case they'd just won. Joanie and Noah were invited because they'd worked so hard on the research and such. This was a big deal and it meant the world to her and I was so proud of her but then she wasn't hearing that she was just hearing me gripe about wearing a tie.

"I'm sorry, honey," I said and those words often sound so pathetic but I think they sound the weakest when you mean them the most. "I know this is your night and I am so proud of you. You know I get a little self centered. Do I still get to be the escort of the prettiest girl at the party?"

"Well, why don't you call Rosemary and ask her?" she said and it wasn't her playful tone she got when she was deflecting compliments. "Noah might get upset though."

Her voice was bitter actually. I knew she felt some jealousy toward poor Rosemary but I had no idea her insecurity was this deep.

"Maybe I should have phrased that different," I said crossing over to her and running my hand along her cheek. "She's a pretty enough girl but I want to escort the most beautiful woman."

"The phone's still on the kitchen wall where it's always been," she said coldly.

"I'll always be a failure, won't I?" I asked her. That got her to look back up at me and her anger gave way to curiosity.

"I still can't get you to see what you are to me," I explained, "You're everything. You are smart and kind and funny and you saw things in me I never knew were there. I would be absolutely nothing without you. And you don't know what a simple look from you does to me either. Sometimes you give me a smile or your hand brushes mine and all I can think of is how badly I nearly need to drag you off somewhere. Sometimes at work I just stare at our wedding picture on my desk and wonder how I ever ended up with such a beautiful, amazing woman. But you don't understand that and that's my failure."

"Stop it, James," she said through tears, "You are no failure but I have eyes and I know what I look like and I know what she looks like. She's not the only woman out there prettier."

"Then I am still a failure," I told her, "No one could ever be prettier to me than you. Now dry your eyes before your uncle wants to know what I did this time to make you cry. Unless, of course, you don't want your jerk of a husband to come with you."

She smiled a little at that.

"He's not a jerk, not really. Just insensitive sometimes," she said, "But he makes up for it most of the time."

"Most," I said in a playfully hurt way, "Only most of the time?"

That got a giggle.

"Nearly all, I'd say," she smiled at me.

"He'd better start working harder then," I said.

"Even Ty Cobb only hit safely a third of the time," she reminded me.

"Well, you are way more important than baseball," I informed her.

Somehow we made it out to the Shapiro home. It was welcoming as always and I knew that Aunt Naomi made it her personal mission in life to have a home that was warm and inviting. She greeted us at the door with hugs and fussed over us getting into the main parlor where the fireplace was lit going on about how cold it was outside. That was Aunt Naomi in a nutshell. I don't think I ever met anyone who didn't love Aunt Naomi.

We went in and there were a few associates from the firm who had helped on the case but Joanie and Noah were the only law students invited. I scanned the room and quickly found Noah We nodded to each other. We'd certainly get the chance to catch up at some point. I was introduced to some of the associates. You would have thought I would know them all by then after the holiday party but I really didn't. There weren't a lot of people there really. It was just the people who worked directly on this case. There wasn't a lot of chatting before dinner and then we were far too busy enjoying Aunt Naomi's cooking to talk much through dinner, except to compliment the cook. I had to add my voice to the appreciation of Aunt Naomi's cooking skills. Between Emma and Joanie, I know good food and I always make sure to compliment whoever's responsible when I taste it. Just before dessert Uncle Eli stood and made a nice speech about how proud he was of his team and how much he appreciated the work they had done not only for him but for their clients. You know it didn't cost much as far as food for that shindig if you think about it and his words didn't cost a dime and yet for some reason little shows of appreciation are no longer considered cost effective. But they are worth more than gold to the employees. I will tell you people worked hard for Uncle Eli and Uncle Saul and Mr. Cohen as well.

After dinner the guests sort of spread out to talk amongst themselves as people do at parties. I went to talk to Noah a little bit and honestly wasn't prepared for what I saw. He looked like the weight of the world was heaped on his shoulders. He sure didn't look like a man celebrating a victory.

"Who died?" I asked and Noah looked up at me in question. "You look like you're in mourning or something. You did hear that you won the case, right? You've got a lovely fiancée, a job lined up at a prestigious firm and you know that kid's going to be pretty damned cute."

"Between you and me?" he asked and I nodded, "It's feeling a little overwhelming right now. I wanted kids, sure, but right now when I haven't even graduated let alone passed the bar?"

"I'm sure you'll feel better once you have that degree in hand and then once you pass that test. You know you will."

He smiled and lifted his glass to me, "You're probably right. It just seems like too much too fast right now."

"You'll be fine, man," I assured him putting a hand on his shoulder; "You should probably try to look a little more like you're celebrating a win here."

I went off to find Joanie and found she was talking a new case with a couple of the associates and it looked like she was possibly about to be asked to do some research for them so I left her be and wandered off to find a drink.

"James," Uncle Eli said clapping a hand on my shoulder, "It seems forever since we've had the chance to sit and talk. Come along this way and we'll get into the good scotch."

He led me into his study and pulled a decanter from his desk drawer and poured us each a glass. He waved me to a leather armchair and then sat himself in one facing me.

"I think I've scarcely spoken to you since the wedding," he said taking a satisfied sip of scotch, "Dear Joanie I see often, of course and she fills me in as well as she can."

I nodded; I didn't really know where this was heading. I loved Uncle Eli and I always felt welcomed into the family but he was still someone I didn't ever truly figure out and I was feeling a little insecure about my skills as a husband at that time. I knew his first loyalty would always be to my wife and not to me and that was the way it ought to be after all.

"I was sorry to hear of your friend being sent away. This war is a terrible business. I hope for his safe return to you and the rest of his family," he was so sincere it nearly got me a little choked up. "It is a good thing you could travel to see him off."

"It was a good thing," I agreed remembering how tightly Theresa had hugged me and the talk Kid and I had shared in his kitchen the night before he left.

"I hear that there is good news for your, well, excuse me if I do not know quite how to say this," he said, "Friend does not begin to describe what Mrs. Cain is for you, does it?"

"No, it doesn't. She's really the only mother I've had."

"Well, then it is good news for your mother," he declared, "There must be such anticipation for the little one."

"If we can keep Emma off her feet so she doesn't cause herself or the baby trouble," I said.

He smiled and I thought maybe Aunt Naomi was as stubborn when she was having the boys. There was a lot those two ladies had in common and it would surprise me if the similarities went that far.

"I have to ask," he said and it's maybe the only time I've ever seen him look apprehensive. He was usually so confident and had his poker face intact. "How married life is treating you."

I really didn't know what to say and I must have looked like a deer in headlights right about then because he laughed a little and patted my arm.

"I ask because Joanie looks so happy these last months but I know men and women do not always see things the same."

"I guess it's good by me," I said, "I don't think I always know what I'm doing and I'm pretty sure I say the wrong thing most of the time."

"I'm sure you do too," he laughed, "Thirty years married to my Naomi and I might be able to count on one hand the times I have said the right thing."

He grew more serious, "I also ask because Joanie seems to have lost a little spark these last few weeks. Has she confided in you?"

I shook my head, "I think she's having nightmares again but she won't tell me about them."

I was about to explain further but the doors opened and in leaned Rosemary. We both looked up at her.

"I'm sorry," she said quickly, "I was looking for Noah. I didn't mean to interrupt."

"Actually, young lady," Uncle Eli spoke up, "I was hoping to get a few moments to talk to you. Could you come in and sit with us?"

I looked over at him looking for a signal to leave them alone but it wasn't given. He just gestured her to another chair in the study. She sat down and I began to find the scotch in my glass fascinating.

"I haven't had a chance to congratulate you on your happy news. You must be very excited," he said to her.

"Why yes we are," she answered smiling and patting her belly which was only showing the faintest signs of pregnancy.

"I wish to inquire as to your reasons for not wedding sooner?"

I really did want to leave right then but I had a lot of respect for Uncle Eli and I wasn't sure I was off the hook entirely with him for Joanie seeming sadder lately so I didn't dare move.

I did dare a glance at Rosemary whose lips were forming a little bit of a pout that she looked like she was trying to rein in before she cried. If I'd dared to interrupt I would have rushed to her side but I just didn't feel like I could.

"It really seems sort of silly to change our plans," she said trying to keep the defensiveness out of her voice, "It's not like we're not getting married at all. We are engaged after all."

"I think perhaps you do not appreciate the delicate position young Noah is in," Uncle Eli chastised and I saw her pout grow. Still I stayed still. "And you can stop pouting like a child, young lady. I'm sure that works for some but it will not work for me."

"I don't have the slightest idea what you are talking about," she said trying to conjure up some pride, "And I do understand Noah. That's why it is so important for me to treat him as I would if he were white."

"But he is no more white than I am gentile," Uncle Eli argued, "We may not like the difference but it is there all the same. Laws can be made and changed but we cannot force people to accept in their hearts and minds what they are not ready to accept."

"He should be no different than any other man," she insisted.

"No," he said sadly, "He should not, but he is. We'd all love to think that no one notices the differences; that no one takes note of the name or the nose or the skin color but the reality is that they do. Hank Greenberg had as many detractors as Jackie Robinson did. His skin color allowed him to get there twenty-six years earlier but there was always that suspicion that he wasn't as good, no matter the statistics he put up, always that feeling of, 'well, of course he's sitting out Yom Kippur'. It was seen as laziness and not faith. Had he been gentile and sitting out a Christian holy day, he would have been celebrated for his adherence to his faith."

"But Dr. King-"

"Has a dream that he was kind enough to share with us. He never said it had come true. It still might not in our lifetimes but it is a nice dream all the same," he said and I was starting to get his side of things, "Please take a moment and think of what this man who loves you so is feeling. Ask what he really wants. After all, you were getting married anyway, what does it matter if you do it a few months earlier?"

I saw the single tear slip down her cheek as she worked to keep her lips from pouting again. Rosemary then just nodded before standing and slipping out of the room.

"You do not approve, James?" he asked me.

"I-well-I-"

"Something needed to be done," he said, "I regret the need for such harshness to do it. Now we were talking about dear Joanie and you said she is not sleeping well."

"I think she's having the nightmares again," I told him not wanting to mention that somehow I thought maybe it was my fault she was having them. I didn't know why or what I'd done to cause them but I couldn't figure what I had done to start them up again.

The look Uncle Eli gave me said he thought there was more to it as well.

"I trust you will take good care of little Joanie," he said and it was more an order than anything else. I sort of wanted to fall through the floor. He knew. He knew I was somehow responsible for Joanie's sadness and if I'd had the courage I would have asked what all he knew, what he understood but I didn't I just nodded a 'yes sir' and snuck out of the study to find my lovely bride.

I found her helping Aunt Naomi tend bar. She didn't see me come over to her so I slid up behind and wrapped my arms around her from behind and nearly kicked myself for doing that when she jumped. I knew better than to creep up on her from behind.

"Sorry, Joanie, it's just me," I whispered, "I should have warned you but I just needed to get my hands on you."

She sort of melted into me in relief.

"So how is my beautiful, intelligent wife this evening?"

"I think I just got grabbed for more research," she said and I could hear the excitement and pride in her voice.

"Of course they would want the best," I told her, "Interesting case?"

"I think so. I've never had one quite like it," she said, "I think it will be great experience."

"You amaze me, you know that?" I said kissing her on the top of her head. Joanie turned in my arms and smiled up at me.

"I needed to hear that," her eyes twinkled at me.

"That's what I'm here for."

We got home and Joanie seemed in a better mood than she'd been in for quite a while. I thought maybe somehow, without even really knowing what it was, that I had undone whatever I had done wrong which I also didn't know what that was. Yeah, Al warned me not to try too hard to figure women. I did it anyway. I never did listen enough to the man.

The next day we headed to Emma's for Sunday dinner. Ike and Buck were even going to be there with their families. It was going to be almost like a big holiday dinner or something.

We got over there and I was rushed by Timmy trying to tell me about something.

"Slow down," I said and signed to him, "I'm not as good at this."

He shot me that huge, chubby cheeked smile of his and started over.

"You got a dog?" I signed back, "What kind?"

"Small and black," he replied beaming at me, "His name is midnight."

I knew Timmy'd been begging for a puppy since he could first make the sign for puppy. I couldn't blame the kid at all. I'd always wanted one when I was a boy too. Ike and Annie had just moved themselves and the kids into a cute little Cape Cod house so they had the back yard for a dog now.

Ike piped up about then.

"He's black, yes and he's small now but he's a lab and he'll get big."

I smiled just imagining the fun that boy was going to have romping around with that dog. I admit I was a little jealous but you get to a point that you realize that part of the great thing about kids is being able to give them a chance to do things you always wanted to do. I know Ike didn't grow up with a dog or a yard or any of the things he was able to give Timmy and Karen. Timmy ran off to play with Lisa and I looked over to see Jesse sulking.

"What's up with you?" I asked as I sat down next to him.

"Al's bringing Old Lady Dunne to dinner," he moped, "Emma said it was fine. How could she do that to me?"

"Jesse, Al's family," I reminded him, "And he's been seeing this Mrs. Dunne for a little while now. I think it's about time we met her. She seems to be awful special to him."

"She's terrible, Jimmy. You don't know her."

"I admit I only briefly met her but she can't be all bad," I said, "She could have ratted you out to Sam and Emma and she didn't. Besides, the kind of heartache Al's been through with losing his Lucille and I have to say if there's a woman who can make him feel those happy feelings again then I am happy for him."

"Does it have to be my English teacher?"

"You'll learn soon enough that you don't get to pick who you fall for," I told him feeling a little like Al. In fact I think I might have been quoting a talk with Al at that point. I'm sure we'd had some similar conversation. Some people are horrified to find they are turning into their parents but I guess I'd only be upset of I had turned into the biological ones. I was right proud to be channeling a little of Al's wisdom then.

It wasn't too much longer before we heard snow being stomped off of shoes on the porch signaling the arrival of Al and his lady friend. We sort of formed some strange semi-circle around the room and watched the door. I'm sure that's not what anyone wants to be greeted by when walking in to meet new people but we were kind of excited to meet her. Al gave a chuckle when he walked in and saw us all standing there expectantly. I saw a look of possibly fear or maybe even dread cross the woman's face and I'll say that if I didn't know for a fact that this was the same woman who came looking for Jesse at the shop I wouldn't have guessed it at all. She was wearing a simple skirt and a fuzzy sort of sweater that hugged the curves she normally tried so hard to hide. Her hair was down and the soft blonde waves fell just below her shoulders like some Hollywood pin-up girl—Veronica Lake or somebody like that. I don't want to say that she looked inappropriate for Sunday dinner but I could understand why she didn't allow this look in the classroom. She was a knockout.

Al could see the look of admiration on the faces of all the males in the room, including Jesse and smiled a self-satisfied sort of smile.

"Old Lady Dunne?" I whispered to him.

"Shut up, Jimmy," he whispered back elbowing me in the ribs.

"My dear," Al said turning to the woman next to him and helping her out of her coat, "I promise I will introduce everyone before the day is out but for now," he paused turning to all of us, "We'll suffice with giving them the honor of meeting you. Everyone, I would like you to meet the lovely Rachel Dunne. Rachel, this is everyone and you will learn them all in time. Of course you already know young master Jesse."

"It's a pleasure to meet all of you," she said in the sweetest voice I'd heard. I wonder if she ever used that tone in a classroom because if she did I couldn't see how Jesse could do so poorly in her class.

This one was like pulling teeth. Ugh! Getting through that party which I'm sure it quite upset Aunt Naomi that I didn't have a good time...

Might be a while before I get this updated again...few ladies and I are working on a special treat...just wait, I know you're going to love it...and I'm trying to get together a Valentine's story...it was pointed out to me that I often pair up Jimmy and Cody for Holiday stories so I decided they are the featured stars for Valentine's day too...hope that one will give everyone a good chuckle.-J