Lou and the kids was there for most of the summer and I tried to talk her into staying. We all did. She looked so much healthier being home. The dark circles left her eyes and she put on a little weight. I know she was still worried a lot and I understood but at least she wasn't alone.
"Jimmy, I have to go back home," she said like it was final.
"You need to stay here," I said, "This is your real home. If Kid saw how strained you were when you got here and what you look like now after just a few weeks of having the rest of the family close, he'd want you to stay too."
"But I have a place there," she argued, "Where would I stay here?"
"We'd figure something out," I assured her, "You know we'd all do anything to have you and Theresa back here where you belong and to get a chance to get to know those sons of yours. One of these days you're going to come bouncing back here with two grown men and we won't know what to think at all."
"I have to go back, Jimmy," she said and I knew there was no more arguing with her. She had made up her mind and she could be just pig headed when she wanted to be. There was no other argument to be made to her and she left as originally planned.
I have to say it felt empty without Lou and her bunch there. I think I needed to have them near to me to feel that connection to Kid. Little Bobby was only about a year younger than Kid had been when I first met him and I think sometimes I felt like if I could help care for his child then it was almost like helping Kid. Probably didn't hurt any that if you put a kindergarten picture of Kid next to Bobby's face you wouldn't have been able to tell a difference. All that little tyke had done for me when we was both that age and it felt like I could return it somehow but then they were gone. There was nothing I could do at all for him but write letters and tell him about everyone and send him cookies from my wife.
Eventually other things took over our thoughts and I tried not to feel like I was letting Kid down by not getting his wife to stay. I tried to take things easy but that got boring pretty quick, especially on days when Joanie was putting in some time at the firm. So I'd head over to the garage and lend Jesse a hand or see if Emma needed anything done. A man has to keep busy somehow. One day I was just heading out the door to see if I could help out around Emma's. I knew Sam was on a case that was causing some overtime and Jesse hadn't gotten to mowing the lawn yet so I figured I'd tend to that and maybe get to fuss over little Sarah Jean for a bit or maybe just take joy in seeing Emma fussing over Sarah Jean. I didn't make it out the door though because my phone rang.
"James," Joanie said, "Are you free to meet me at the hospital?"
There's not a lot of words could strike such fear in a man as those words coming from the mouth of his one true love.
"What's wrong, sweetie?" I asked and hoped I didn't sound as close to panic as I was.
"Oh nothing's wrong," she laughed sort of nervously, "I am so sorry, I'm sure you must have just thought the worst. Rosemary is in labor right now and I thought we could be there for Noah."
"Right," I said still trying to start my heart up again, "I'll be right there."
I got the information on which hospital she was at and then headed out the door. You know there are a lot of good things about being with someone and being in love but sometimes the realization that hits you of how little your own life means compared to how much theirs means is a tough blow to take. The absolute terror that can strike you when you think something might be wrong really is like a punch in the gut.
I calmed down on the drive over and I was actually excited. I don't think Joanie was but then she always had some strange thing about her for anything that involved Rosemary. Now don't get me wrong I think she was happy about her friend becoming a daddy and all but there was always some level of mistrust that she held for Rosemary and it sort of clouded most things.
I got there and found Joanie and Noah. I understood then why Joanie wanted so badly to make sure Noah wasn't all by himself. Sarah Jean was only a few months old at the time so Emma couldn't really justify dragging her to a hospital waiting room and we were his closest friends. It's funny how some people you have to know nearly all your life to feel close to them and some you know a short while and it just feels like you've always known them. Noah was in that second group. We shared some awkward moments at first but then we settled into being very close friends. In fact it seemed hard to believe that we'd only known each other three years at that time. I know I couldn't have been happier about seeing the pride in his face at being informed he had a son. Michael was an incredibly beautiful child too. He had this skin that was the color of caramel and looser curls framing his face and he did have Noah's dark eyes. He looked like some painting of a Renaissance angel or something. I know many folks believed there was something wrong with a Negro and a white woman having a baby but I think the beauty of that child only proved that there wasn't a damned thing wrong with it.
Now following Michael's birth it wasn't that long before we went back to our typical grind. School started and I had work and classes and Joanie had work and classes. Sometimes it seemed that grind would never end but we knew it would and with the two new little ones and Lou's visit I was feeling a little more upbeat and Joanie was on some new case her dad and uncles were putting together for the anti-defamation league and she was excited about that and feeling like she was closing in on what she wanted to do with her life.
I guess it was sometime around then that we started really looking at the local politics scene. I mean yeah we knew there was an election for mayor coming and we really liked Cavanaugh. I would've voted for him the first time if I'd been old enough to. It was quite an upset in 1961 when he beat out the guy who was there before. He got the backing of the black community and that put him over the top then. Since then he had appointed a reformer to be chief of police and he had even marched right down Woodward arm in arm with Dr. King. I already knew who I was voting for and it almost didn't matter who the Republicans put up against him. Well, there was a lot going on that fall I guess or else someone at the station decided Billy'd done his fair time covering Fluffy the trapped kitty and thought he deserved a shot. Someone assigned him to cover the Cavanaugh campaign. He was over the moon about it and I have to say he was really good. I mean he was good at the other stuff too. He was quite a storyteller and he could really make you care whether the firemen got little Fluffy out of that tree but this was really good stuff. He really got into things and covered things real even like a good journalist does. He was so fair that he even brought up a couple of things that made me think a little before going back to being certain of my vote and that was impressive since I knew which way Billy's politics ran too. He really impressed his bosses too and from then on he was also covering the 'real' news stories as well. He covered a house fire or two and even a murder. I knew he'd be jewelry shopping soon and I was right. He even drug me along.
"I don't even know what I'm looking for," he said, "Big I guess. They say two months' salary, right? Is that what you spent on Joanie's? That sure was a pretty ring you got her."
"Slow down, Billy," I said, "I think I probably spent more than two month's worth because I'd been saving for so long. It was probably close to that though. I had to dip into the ring fund for tuition a couple times."
"How do I know the right one?"
"I don't know," I told him, "I think I just found the shiniest one well the biggest shiniest one I could afford. Has she ever said anything about the shape she likes best?"
"No," he said, "She hasn't said anything at all about a ring or diamond or marriage in months."
"Probably just a round one would work just fine."
I got a little worried for him hear that. He might be in for a rude awakening when he popped the question. I hoped he wasn't planning on a public display for the proposal because he might end up awful embarrassed. I had no doubt that Sherry was in love with him but she had been rebuilding the wall he'd worked so hard to break down.
"None of these look big enough, Jimmy," he said looking all the rings over, "She deserves a real big ring. Like that one."
He pointed to one that might have passed for a golf ball. It was pretty alright but honestly a little too much.
"Billy, she might want to lift her hand at some point," I told him, "Even if you could afford that one her left arm would start looking like it came off of some body builder."
"Okay, then how about that one?" he asked and pointed at another. It still was pretty big and I think it was near to a full carat.
"I think that one's going to be more than two months of your salary."
"I don't care," he said, "She deserves it."
The sales person came over and Billy started asking questions about the ring. Of course that man would pick a platinum ring. And being Billy he had a way about him that five minutes after you meet him, he's your best friend in the world so he talked the salesman down to a better price. I still think it was well over his price range but he found a way and he was happy as a clam with his purchase.
I didn't know his plans for asking her but I hoped he had something real special in mind to say to her since I think she was really starting to fear for their future and not trust so much in his ability to be a one woman man.
I guess it was the following Friday near to the end of the school day and Billy came wandering into my office. You know, you have an open door policy like I did and you just never knew what manner of riff raff would come a strolling in. I was about to make some crack to that effect when I saw the hangdog look on his face and just gestured to him to close the door and sit down.
"What's wrong?" I asked hoping his folks was okay. I couldn't think of anything else that would upset him like that. Billy Cody was not one to get upset too easily and he had a knack for finding the good in nearly every situation and even finding humor in most of them. There was plenty of times I wanted to deck him for that and maybe a couple times I did but still it meant a cause for worry when William Cody was down in the mouth.
"I asked Sherry to marry me," he said and I think I saw his eyes get moist.
"She said no?" I asked and I couldn't believe it. I knew she might have reservations but for her to outright reject him, well, I couldn't quite believe that.
"Not exactly," he replied, "But she didn't say yes either. She said she had to think about it. What's to think about? We've been together over a year and I don't care about any other girls. You don't think she's got eyes for some other guy do you?"
"No, I don't," I told him honestly. I had a lot of thoughts and none of them involved Sherry thinking about seeing anyone else. I looked at the clock and as I did the final bell rang. Now sometimes I stayed a little past the end of school in case someone needed me or something but Fridays no one needed anything except to get started on their weekend. "Come on with me, Billy."
We headed out and over to Al's garage where Al was watching out for Rachel to come and see him. Being Friday and all, I'm sure she didn't stay in her classroom any longer than I stayed in my office. He saw us coming toward him and started to look concerned.
"Now what's eating the two of you?" he asked.
"I think our dear friend Billy here thinks his heart has been broken," I said.
"That so?" mused the old man.
"Sherry doesn't want to marry me," Billy nearly whined.
"You two get in my office," Al said with a sigh, "I need to keep a watch for my lady. I'll be in shortly."
Billy sat down heavily in a chair and let his head fall into his hands.
"This is your fault you know, Jimmy," he said.
"Now how do you figure that?"
"You encouraged this," he answered, "I was going to give up after she wouldn't dance with me at your wedding. You said to give it another try and you knew I was going to fall in love. You knew all along I'd end up hurt like this and you let me walk right into it. I thought you were my friend."
I forced myself not to laugh at that ridiculous statement. It was true that I encouraged him with Sherry but it was also true that no woman could have been as good for him as she was. I even thought I understood her reservations and I felt for her a little. Sherry was a secure person in every sense except where men were involved. She played at being confident there too and did a decent job but more often came off as either an ice princess or one of the guys. She was different with Billy and that was in a good way too. She giggled more and she even got flirty and he appreciated her sarcastic wit like most men wouldn't.
"I am your friend," I assured him, "Have you ever been happier than you are when you are with her?"
He just looked at his hands as if to say that was doing him a fat lot of good with her not wanting him anymore.
"Maybe I should call up good old Gloria," he said trying to cheer himself, "She's usually up for a good time."
"Is that what you really want?" I asked seriously.
"No," he said sadly. I think he wanted it to be what he wanted but it wasn't.
About then Al wandered in holding Rachel's hand. I know it was a somber time what with Billy's near heartbreak and all but I couldn't help but smile at the two of them holding hands like teenagers in love. It did my heart good and made me believe we could get things situated and right with Billy and Sherry too.
There was a little couch in Al's office and he and Rachel sat down on in real close together. She had just come from school and was trying real hard for her frumpy look but not only had I seen the real her but once you know the warmth inside of a person you can't see much of anything else.
"Son," Al started, "I have seen you with that young lady for the last year. You tell me why you think she don't want to marry you?"
Billy told the whole story about how he asked her to marry him and how she didn't even look at the ring and said she had to think.
"Then she bolted," he said looking confused, "It was a good thing we were at my place because I think she would have left as quick if we'd been at hers."
"Had you talked much about marriage, Billy?" Rachel asked.
"We used to and I know I kind of put it off," he told her, "It wasn't because I didn't want to but I just wanted to be something she could be proud of, you know?"
"Did she know why you were putting it off? Rachel inquired.
He just shook his head and Al spoke up.
"You know, son," he began, "That reminds me of an article I read once about this idea some scientist fella came up with. Schrödinger was his name. Anyway, he said that if you put a cat in a bunker with something unstable like gas or a bomb or something and shut it up then you don't know what happens to the cat. There's two possibilities really, either the cat is dead or the cat is alive. Now as long as you don't open up the box to force one of those things to be the truth then they are both true so it can be said that the kitty is both alive and dead. But once you open the bunker up then it forces one thing or the other to be or I guess it forces the cat's reality to be our reality."
I looked around at Rachel and then at Billy and they all looked as confused as I did. I think now I sort of get what he was trying to say but that man could get kind of crazy trying to get his point across sometimes.
"What is that supposed to mean, Al?" Billy asked.
"It, well, what it means is that when you opened that ring box you forced her to settle into one reality and she's scared."
"So I was right and she doesn't want to marry me," Billy said looking even sadder than he had when he came into my office.
"Billy, she knows what you were like before you met her," I said, "Frat parties and lots of women. Think about her perspective. She's had very few boyfriends. Most guys don't take the time to see how pretty she is or how amazing a woman she is. You did and it gave her hope but then you put her off when she started talking about marriage. She's bound to think you're just with her until you find something else. She might even be thinking that you think you're settling or something. A woman like Sherry would rather be alone than be someone's second choice or last resort."
"But that's not it at all!"
"I know that but she don't," I reminded him and Rachel piped up about then too.
"She's scared, Billy. I know she seems like she's not scared of anything but you've been with her long enough and there've got to be things you've found she's afraid of."
"Spiders," he nodded, "She's terrified of spiders. She called me one night at like two in the morning crying and near hysterical because there was a spider. I had to come out in the snow to go kill a spider at her place."
"There you go," I said, "She needs some assurance that her spider hunter is hunting her spiders because he wants to and not because she's who's there right now. You earned her trust once. I'm sure you can figure out how to do it again. You might even try talking to her and letting her know your silly insecurities."
Sunday Joanie and I went to Emma's for dinner like usual. Buck and Carol were there with their bunch and the week before we'd found out that Greg and Lisa were getting a new little brother or sister. Carol was still a little green a good part of the time and looked sort of wore out but then they were so happy looking I think Carol was even happy about the morning sickness. Ike and Annie were there and Timmy was running around being chased by Karen and signing frantically to everyone about his puppy's latest antics. Karen was trying to make all the signs too and coming close enough you could understand her. Not much could have been cuter.
Billy came in and I was surprised but happy as hell to see Sherry with him and even holding his hand. She went to find Joanie and I knew the girls had plenty to talk about. I went over to my friend to see if there had been any headway with the 'thinking' she had to do. I noticed as she breezed by me with a 'hey Jimmy' that she wasn't wearing that rock on her hand.
"Did you talk to her?" I asked him.
"Yeah, I did," he said and he looked a little more hopeful than the last time I saw him. "I think she understands but I think you're right and she's real scared. Can you believe a girl like her thinks she's not pretty?"
"Billy, girls hardly ever know how pretty they are," I said, "She doesn't think she measures up to the bimbos you used to gad around with."
"She's way better than any of them."
"I know that and you know that but she's comparing the wrong things," I explained.
"I just have to get that ring on her finger, Jimmy," he said and he looked desperate.
"I have a feeling you will."
Well, not too much later and Al and Rachel came over and we got to getting around the table to dig into the roast that Emma had prepared with the help of the rest of the girls. Noah and Rosemary weren't around as much right then. Michael was still real little and going places with one that small is kind of an ordeal. You get used to it after a while but in the beginning it's not something you do a whole lot. Anyway, as much of the family as could be was there to witness this and it was something to see. I remember telling Kid about it one time and thought he might fall right out of his chair. I'm not sure if it was amusement or shock that caused the reaction but let's just say this isn't a side of William F. Cody that many people had ever seen at that time and few ever did see.
We were all eating and talking about all kinds of stuff. Timmy was signing happily away and we were all trying to sign whatever we said so he wouldn't feel left out. He was four then and wanted to be part of things. So it was especially cute and sweet that Billy signed through what he was about to do as best as he could.
At first I'm not sure anyone heard him over the rest of the conversation. I thought I heard a little something though.
"You got a smile so bright."
I stopped talking and just listened to see if I heard it again.
"You know you could have been a candle."
A few more people stopped talking as well.
"I'm holding you so tight; you know you could have been a candle."
I thought Emma might try to shush him at first but then she stopped when she saw the look on his face and that he had ceased to see anyone else in the room except for Sherry.
"The way you swept me off my feet, you know you could have been a broom."
There was dead silence and Sherry looked like she might cry.
"And babe you smell so sweet you know you could have been some perfume. Well you could have been anything that you wanted to and I can tell. The way you do the things you do."
Well Buck, Ike, Jesse and me couldn't help ourselves and came in on the echo. Billy smiled at us and then kept going.
"As pretty as you are," he sang emphasizing the word 'pretty', "You know you could have been a flower. If good looks was a minute, you know you could have been an hour. The way you stole my heart, you know you could have been a crook. And baby you're so smart," again he put a special emphasis on 'smart', "You know you could have been a schoolbook."
Even the girls joined the chorus this time and it surprised me a little that Emma was among them.
"You make my life so rich; you know you should have been some money. Baby you're so sweet, you know you should have been some honey."
The whole table was singing except for Sherry who looked like she didn't quite know what to do with herself. I know she was a little embarrassed but then she looked like something occurred to her. Billy looked at her as he finished the last note of the song and she nodded. He slid out of his chair and knelt next to her and pulled that box out if his pocket opening it and causing the other females around the table to gasp a little.
"Sherry, please," he said almost begging, "You have to know there's no one else in the world for me. No other woman could be as beautiful or challenging or warm and loving to me. No one else will put up with me like you do. I love you, Sherry Anne Wingate. Marry me?"
"That wasn't even fair, Will," she said and I could see the tears forming in her eyes, "Yes."
If she was going to say anything more, she didn't get the chance because his mouth was covering hers. Emma even gave them a few good minutes of smooching before she cleared her throat to stop them. Billy put the ring on her finger.
"I guess it's a good thing I have a cake for dessert," Emma said, "We have something to celebrate."
Whew...who was worried? Not me for I know the end of the whole story...hehehe...
Um Cavanaugh was Mayor Jerome Cavanaugh a two term mayor of Detroit...he might ahve been there longer but for some things that happened in 1967...those who know their history real good already know what I'm talking about...they rest will find out when I get there or get real cozy with google...-J