It came as no surprise but was a large point of sadness when Bubbe Goldman passed on. I was even sad. The old woman never did like me but I think I came to an understanding of how much that had to do with her love for her granddaughter. I was still shocked when Mr. Cohen asked me to pray with him. Of course she had never liked him any more than she liked me. I almost smiled at the thought of how she'd probably roll right over in her grave to know we were praying over her.

Still Gladys was really sad about losing her mother and we tried to be there for her. I think it shook up Joanie and Judy too. I sought out Judy one day to check up on her. She looked so sad.

"Hey short stuff," I said trying to urge a smile out of her, "How are you holding up?"

"Mom's a mess," she told me.

"I know your mom's a mess but your dad has got that under control," I acknowledged, "I asked how you were holding up. I've watched you flit between your mom and sister who have men doting on them as well and I haven't seen you take a moment for yourself or ask anyone to help you through this."

"I think I'm going to miss her something awful, Jimmy," she replied and the tears started to fall, "I know it probably doesn't make sense to you because she was always so mean to you but…"

"She was your grandmother," I finished and pulled her into a hug. I let her cry a while and then she pushed away from me.

"You're not half bad at this big brother thing, you know?"

"I do my best," I said offering a smile, "Now if I could just get on track with this husband thing. I feel like I'm mucking that up royal about now."

"You're a wonderful husband to her," Judy assured me, "Better than I could have hoped for her."

It wasn't the first time I thought that she too often sounded like the big sister with how she worried for her older sister but then it was just her nature to care for others and take charge when people needed looking after.

"She can't open up to you yet," Judy went on, "Or she thinks she can't. She knows how it was between you and Bubbe and I think she feels guilty…"

Her voice trailed away like she had said too much.

"She thinks marrying me killed her grandmother, doesn't she?" I asked.

"I think she does in a way," Judy replied, "On some level she knows that's wrong and almost laughable but I think it's hanging there anyway."

Well that put me in officially over my head. If Joanie was just some girl I was counseling I would be able to say something but being the man she thought she had chosen over her own grandmother, I didn't feel I could really do much. Luckily I saw someone who might be able to help.

"Can I talk to you for a second?" I asked sidling up to him.

"Of course, James," Uncle Eli said smiling at me, "Although to look at you I think you might need more than a second."

"Might need a whole minute," I conceded.

"I can spare a few of those. Come this way."

He led me to Mr. Cohen's study. I sat down and explained the problem. Getting past that Joanie might feel bad about being sad for the death of a woman who was mean to me at every turn but the other issue was something I felt completely overwhelmed at the idea of and it felt self serving to argue with her.

"I see your problem, James," Uncle Eli said and I could almost watch him turn it over in his head. "Will you allow me to have a talk with her?"

"Of course," I answered, "I'd appreciate it even."

A short while later Uncle Eli found me again.

"I think I was able to make her see sense," he told me putting a hand on my shoulder.

"How did you manage that?" I asked knowing how Joanie's mind could latch onto something like a starving dog with a scrap of meat.

"I reminded her that if her grandmother's constitution was that weak that seeing her darling Gladys all these years with Jacob would have done the poor woman in long before the two of you ever met."

Joanie was quiet all the way home and still once we got home. I could see wheels turning in her head and her figuring out how irrational she had been. It wasn't long before she said she was going to bed early. She was tired and I knew that wasn't a lie exactly but she was trying to get away from me all the same. There was no way I was going to let her get away with that. I knew her too well to think for even a moment that being alone right then was what she needed. I followed her.

"James, I really am tired," she said and I don't know if she thought I was trying to take advantage of Theresa being out studying with friends or what.

"I know you are," I said looking at her like I couldn't believe she'd think such a thing. I'm a man and I loved making love to my wife but there's a time and place and that wasn't it. "I just don't think you should be alone right now."

She was too tired to argue so when she climbed into bed I just climbed in too. I pulled her over to me and held her and stroked her hair and I could tell she tried to fight the tears for a while and it was probably back to her initial feelings of split loyalties. She loved her grandmother, even when the woman said nasty things to her or to me. She always felt pulled apart between the two of us. She wanted to stick up for me and herself but she didn't want to hurt the old woman. Now she wanted and needed to cry for her loss but felt that she might hurt me or look like she was taking the other side or something.

"You know it's funny," I said, "But I think I'm going to miss her too."

"No you're not."

"Yeah I think I am a little," I countered, "Only a little, mind you."

That was the final thing to make the dam burst. The tears started then and she cried against me for a while. Theresa got home somewhere while I was holding Joanie. I hadn't been at all worried about her finding us. She wasn't a stupid girl and she knew Joanie just lost someone she loved and seeing a man holding his wife while she cried wasn't anything shameful for a fourteen year old girl to see.

After a while Joanie cried herself out and fell asleep and I let sleep come and get me too. I woke the next morning with Joanie still tight in my arms, where she belonged.

We got up to the smell of food more than the alarm and wandered out to find that Theresa had started some French toast and sausage. She was a pretty terrific kid and I shot her a grateful smile when she handed me the Freep. Once Joanie was at the table, Theresa went over and hugged her tight before heading to get ready to dish our food. Any other morning and that kid did this and I'd be wondering what she wanted but this morning I knew she just wanted to help any way she could. That girl had a heart big as the U.P. and so often she felt so powerless to help the people around her, people she loved a great deal. This was something she could do and I understood that really well. We ate and Theresa went to finish getting ready. I told her I'd give her a ride. Once she was out of the room I looked over at Joanie. Theresa's gesture wasn't lost on her, I could see.

"She's a sweet girl to go to such trouble," Joanie said finally.

"She is at that," I agreed, "Do you have too bad of a day today?"

"No, just one class. I don't have to go to work and I don't think I'm going to either. I just really think spending the afternoon here maybe catching up on my soaps might be just what I need."

"I think you're probably right about that," I told her, "But if you need anything else, call my office or call Emma. Just call someone, okay?"

"You know you're a real bossy pants sometimes," she said and a smile turned up the corners of her mouth and her old playful spark almost made it fully into her eyes. She'd be fine. I mean I guess I knew she would. People lose grandparents and parents and somehow muddle along. I know things sometimes seemed to hit her harder and I know she had some conflicted feelings mucking up the works but she would be fine and that smile told me it would be sooner rather than later.

I thanked Theresa on the way to school.

"I just wanted to help Aunt Joanie somehow," she told me, "You both are so good to me."

"Because we love you," I explained, "You just do for the ones you love."

"Exactly," she said.

I just smiled. We teach the greatest lessons when we don't even realize it. It didn't occur to us to do anything else but bring the girl in and care for her—because we loved her. That morning nothing seemed more natural to Theresa than caring in her way for the people she loved. I pulled up to the school and she leaned over to give me a great big hug.

"I ain't complaining," I said, "But what was that for?"

"I love you, Uncle Jimmy. I was so sad and hurt and scared when we got here and you just made everything okay again. Well, not everything but most things."

I kissed her forehead and watched her run off to her friends. It's a weird age, the one she was at right then. One moment she could seem so all grown up, caring for us and cooking and things like that and the next she was just another in a sea of little girls giggling about how cute Paul McCartney was. I put the car in gear and headed toward work pondering that age so on the cusp of everything. I was still pondering when I walked into my office to find one of my regulars leaning on the wall next to the doorway.

"Come on in, Jerry," I said as I unlocked the office, "I'm going to step out to the main office and grab a cup of coffee. Care for one?"

He nodded and I'd been working with him since my first day at that school so I already knew how he took his coffee. I got back a little later and Jerry was still just standing there like he was still not sure about sitting. I knew he would though. I had a feeling he'd been outside my door since the school doors opened that morning and he wouldn't do that unless he was real sure he wanted or needed to talk about something pretty big. So I just handed him his coffee and sat down behind my desk to wait. Jerry wasn't much of a talker to most people but if you earned his trust and were patient with him and didn't interrupt too much then he would open up and sometimes getting him quiet again was the problem.

So we sat in silence for a while until he took the two steps to the chair in front of my desk and sat.

"I messed up bad this time, Jim," he told me.

"Now it can't be too bad or I'd've been called to see you at the police station."

"Tina's pregnant," he said and then looked down. We'd had talks about this and he had assured me he was being careful but careful isn't a sure thing so sometimes you still got a surprise.

"How is she?" I asked.

"I don't even know. Sometimes I think she's excited and sometimes I think she's mad and sometimes I can't even tell."

"Well then how are you doing?"

"I'm terrified but then I think maybe I wouldn't have the balls to ask her to marry me before and I don't have much choice now. I love her, you know."

I nodded. That much had become more clear in the previous six months or so.

"Did you ask her?"

"Not yet," he said, "I didn't know how. I want her to know that I would've asked her after we graduated anyway. I don't want her to think it was just about the baby though I do want to make an honest woman of her and it would kill me if that baby ain't born with my name."

"Tell her that," I said, "What you just told me sounds perfect. You tell her all that and I have a feeling she'll say yes and she might have an easier time sorting her feelings. She's probably awful scared."

He stood and offered his hand to me and I shook it.

"Thanks, Jim," he said, "You never let me down."

"Don't plan on it ever either," I told him honestly, "You need anything else between now and the end of school, come on in and talk to me. And you better let me know when that little one comes."

He assured me he would and then left and there I was seeing a young man and woman barely old enough to understand themselves about to marry and become parents. I thought of Theresa and hoped Jesse was still behaving himself. If I had to have that same conversation with the two of them I don't even know what I would do. I was starting to think those folks in the Middle Ages and before had something with those chastity belt contraptions. Or maybe if I could find a few dragons we could build a high tower for her or something.

The rest of the day really was dragging until I could get out and go pick up Theresa. I had to nearly laugh when I walked in for as often as I was under some car or another with Joanie sitting on the floor next to me talking to me about her day; it was like a flashback with Theresa sitting on the floor next to a car that I knew Jesse was underneath. I was grateful. After how my morning started out I'm not sure I could have kept my cool if I had gotten there to find them making out or something. I tried to remember that he was supposed to be like a brother to me for being one of Emma's kids and that it had always been my job to help him out but when it came to Theresa, well, sometimes it felt like she was the only way I could do anything for Kid. Besides, I really loved that girl and she had been ditched in one way or another by too many people and I felt an extra responsibility to her. She had dreams and things she wanted to do kind of like another woman I knew and a baby at fourteen didn't figure into any of them so she didn't need to be doing anything more that sitting and talking to her boyfriend while he worked.

"Hey Jimmy," I heard Lou call as she walked in wiping grease off her hands.

"How are you doing, Lou?"

"I'm feeling pretty good," she said and I caught the little bit of guilt in her voice.

"I've known him a hell of a lot longer than you have and there is no way he'd want you sitting all alone and miserable while he's gone."

"Do you still feel him?" she asked.

"Yeah I do," I replied, "I don't know how I know it's not just wishful thinking but somehow I know it's real. He's still out there trying to get back. He's stubborn and he'll do it too."

"I'm glad it's not just me. I was starting to feel a little crazy."

I nodded at her. I know it sounded crazy and like two people who just can't face facts but somehow I just knew and I'll never be able to tell you or anyone else how I did know but I did. He was alive and I just knew he was.

"Before I forget," Lou piped up, "Theresa said her friend Penny is having a sleepover Friday. I told her she could go. I thought you and your wife probably could use some teenager free time."

"I think we can at that," I said smiling. Another woman and I might have been embarrassed to admit that a night without Theresa was a night I could spend naked in bed with my wife but Lou wasn't any other woman.

I think I looked forward to that Friday night all week and it didn't disappoint. We hadn't even been married a full two years at that point and spending that many months having to worry about making too much noise most of the time because there was an impressionable teen in the next room was tough. I admit it was a good lesson for how it would be once we had kids but still. We didn't have kids and we kind of sometimes wanted to live like we didn't.

We all got some good news on Sunday at dinner at Emma's. Lou had a letter from the Army. She'd been fighting to get his checks sent to her which should have been a no brainer but it had taken all that time and cutting through miles of red tape before it got done. Finally they sent the letter that pay for Francis Joseph Cassidy, Jr. would go to his wife. Good Lord, I think somewhere in my mind I remembered that his name was Francis but it had been so long since I had heard it. Even teachers at school called him Kid from about the second grade on. The upshot of all of this though was that Lou was getting her own place that would be big enough for all of them and Theresa could have her own room and the boys could share and Theresa could move out of our place.

I wasn't sure how I felt about Theresa leaving. I knew it would be better for my marriage and that was important but I hated letting her go all the same. I knew I'd still see her a lot and I was always where she could go when she just needed to talk or needed some space from little boys.

Lou really was about moving forward. I don't mean she ever stopped believing he was alive and coming back to her and no matter how many men showed an interest she never returned it but she knew she needed to set an example for her sister and her sons and she owed it to Kid to still be her spunky self when he got back. I could see wheels turning but didn't know what she had up her sleeve for a while.

We got Lou moved and then Theresa moved in with her and pretty soon it was time for that play. I think it was some Tennessee Williams play; they were all the rage then. I don't recall which one but I honestly believe Theresa was the best one and I further believe that's not biased uncle talking either. We all went on the same night to go see the show and I had flowers delivered backstage to her but I think they were overshadowed by the ones Jesse sent. Before the show started Lou pulled me aside.

"Can I ask you something, Jimmy?"

I nodded and she went on.

"I'm thinking about going back to school, college, you know? I don't really know how to begin but you did it and isn't that what you do for a living now, help kids figure that out and stuff?"

It took a second for me to digest this but it shouldn't have come as any shock. I should have been bringing it up and encouraging her all along to do just this. More and more opportunities were opening for women every day and she was smart, maybe the smartest among our ragtag bunch from school.

"I'll do anything I can to help you," I said hugging her tight before heading into the school auditorium to see Theresa's big debut.

Eventually Lou settled on nursing school. She really was excited about it too and I was excited for her. None of us thought about college much as we was growing up. It wasn't like it was for Joanie where it wasn't a matter of if you would go to college but a matter of where and what you'd study.

Right about the time Lou was getting everything in order to start taking some classes over the summer; I was graduating with a Master's degree in Social Work. I know it's not being a doctor like Aaron was doing or a lawyer like Joanie or Noah but it's a damn sight more than I ever thought I would have accomplished. I wasn't going to make a big deal about it but Joanie's folks had other ideas and decided that they would get together with Emma and throw a big old party. We hadn't made a big deal out of the first degree I got since Joanie got hers at the same time and we were just about to get married so that was enough of a party at that time. I said this wasn't necessary but Mr. Cohen said he was proud of his son-in-law and that he wanted to let everyone know how proud he was and if he was honest, he wanted everyone to know how well Joanie had married. That's the first time I ever thought she had married well at all. Actually I still thought she could have done better but I always did and really always would. Not that I wasn't glad she had decided to slum it for the rest of her life but I know she could have done better.

It was a good party too. Gladys overdid it I think with the food but then I think it was nice for her to have something to distract. She was still dealing a great deal with losing her mother. We also got news that Annie was expecting. They didn't announce it at the party but they did let us know right around then. And it wasn't too long after that party that we welcomed little Julie Cross into our fold. Another little dark haired angel just like his other two.

So the summer was sort of eventful and we were all busy. It got close to Michael's first birthday and Noah decided it was high time to get him baptized. He apparently had some religious upbringing his aunt had instilled in him. He came over one day with the little tyke and we sat and shot the breeze for a bit. Finally he got to the real reason he had come.

"I wanted to ask you something and I don't even know how to ask but it's what I think would be best."

"Okay," I said kind of trying to lead him to explaining himself.

"Well, I need to get Michael baptized soon, I think," he began, "The thing is that you need godparents at a baptism. I've been giving it a lot of thought and I want you to know you were actually my first thought. I think you and Joanie would love him like I do."

I looked over at the little guy who had just pulled himself to standing using the edge of the coffee table and was starting to take a few tentative steps while never letting go of the table. Yeah, I loved that kid and probably darned near as much as his father did.

"For one thing I'm not sure how well it would go over if I told the minister that I wanted a Jewish couple to see to Michael's religious education should something happen to me," he went on, "But, and I hope to God that you won't be offended by this, I worry about Joanie and I know what stress can do to her and burying a friend and then having to take on something like that might be too much."

It didn't offend me at all. Hell as much as I wanted kids and knew she wanted them too I was terrified sometimes thinking how her nerves would be once she had that on her shoulders too. I told him as much.

"You know Emma watches him a lot and he's only a couple months younger than Sarah Jean. Do you think if I asked Emma and Sam to be Michael's godparents that they would agree?"

I smiled knowing how much Emma loved that little boy and how she had even remarked to me how empty her house was since Lou and the boys moved out.

"I think there's not many ideas that would make Emma happier and Sam wants Emma happy," I told him, "Sam's a good father too."

"He is," agreed Noah, "I watched how hard he worked to connect with Jesse."

So eventually Noah asked and of course Emma and Sam were overjoyed at the idea—not the idea that something might happen to Noah, mind you—but the idea that they were something more to that little boy.

The baptism itself went just fine and dandy. I don't know too much about them. In some ways it's almost like I was born into Judaism because the only religious education I ever had was for that so stuff like baptisms and such are just as foreign to me as a bris would be for my gentile friends. They might have heard of one and might even sort of know what it is but the knowledge is purely academic and they lack a true understanding.

After the baptism we all went to Emma and Sam's for a little party. Now I guess I should point out even though it sort of might go without saying, that Rosemary was there. She and Noah hadn't been under the same roof since sometime around the first of the year but only shortly before the baptism had he formally filed for divorce and he was fixing to petition for sole custody of Michael. But even as bad as things was between them she was invited and she came. She showed up for a lot more stuff once she found out he was seeking full custody.

It was a real nice day so the party spilled outside. Jesse and Theresa took it on themselves to take the little ones to the park. Well the older of the little ones that was. They didn't take Michael or Sarah Jean and of course not Julie either. I was sitting on the porch having a Stroh's with the guys when I heard the commotion. I guess right about now I'll turn you over to the words of my good buddy Bill Cody. He was there to see it all go down and I wasn't. But I sure the hell asked him about it later. I'll try to get all his words right. That man was one hell of a storyteller.

"I tell you, Jimmy," he began once I got him alone later and got the whole story out of him, "This wasn't anything I expected. I walked out into the backyard for a minute because I thought Sherry was there. It turned out she wasn't. The girls were all in Emma's sewing room. I think they enjoyed just being able to have some lemonade with other women and not be saddled with the kids too much. Anyway, I heard the screen on the back door close and turned around and there was Rosemary. I smiled at her and was about to walk past her and back into the house to find my wife. I know that's not what anyone would have expected from me but believe me you really won't expect or maybe even believe the rest of what I have to tell you. As I tried to walk past Rosemary she grabbed my arm and shot me that sad pouty look she gets sometimes. I know I use the pout on Sherry from time to time too but there's something off about how Rosemary does it, you know? So I look at her and I just stood there because she was holding onto my arm and then she smiled big and started talking all sugary too me. She was saying how I didn't need a little lab rat and that the two of us could change the world and how me being in the media I could shine a light on everything the equality movement was doing. She was going on about how everyone gave lip service to how they loved Michael but she was the only one working to make sure the world he lived in when he was grown was better than the one we have now. And then she was pressing up against me and, so help me, she was nibbling on my ear. I just stood there. I didn't want to push her because she might get hurt and she's a girl and all but I didn't want to encourage her either. I have a good woman and even if she is a lab rat, she's the sexiest damn lab rat I ever saw and I know where my bread is buttered. Rosemary was kissing my neck which is pretty unfair and hard to resist but I swear to you I was resisting and telling her she needed to leave and then I heard the back door slam shut. I could see Sherry out of the corner of my eye. I really thought my own marriage was over right about then. I should have more faith in my wife though because she's a smart woman. She saw what was happening and grabbed Rosemary. Rosemary swung at Sherry and that was it. I haven't heard Sherry cuss like that since Buck accidentally hit me that time. I know she can, she learned a lot from her brothers. Most of what she was saying, once you get past the four letter words that is, was how Rosemary should get out while the getting was still good. Rosemary didn't though and she slapped Sherry. I was about to step in because I don't care if you are a girl, you don't hit my wife. No one hits my wife. But Sherry was on it. She landed a right cross to Rosemary's jaw and Rosemary went down. She wasn't out though and was still screaming and yelling so Sherry piled on and kept hitting her until I pulled her off."

That was right about where I can pick this story up again. But before I do I will say I have rarely seen a look of pride and admiration on a man quite like the one on Bill Cody's face when he talked about Sherry pounding the tar out of Rosemary. I just have to put that in there because I still remember his chest puffing out while he talked. Anyway, this is where I can get back to telling the story. Like I said we heard a commotion and ran inside to see what was up. Rosemary was running through the house toward the front door holding her jaw with her lip and nose bleeding and I'm pretty sure she probably got a nice shiner too unless she had a big old steak to put on it.

It was an eventful day to be sure and it wouldn't be too much longer before I would have reason to believe every word from Billy's mouth that day. At the time I was really just glad the kids didn't see any of that. Michael and Sarah Jean were napping, the rest of the kids were at the park except for Julie who was dozing in her daddy's arms while we was sitting on the porch.

heeheehee...Sherry punched the killer queen! I knew I loved that girl!-J