It took a while before I felt good about Joanie making that drive out to the firm by herself. She was just so wounded. I knew she'd be alright once she got to work. Everyone there was still hurting and would see to her. But the drive…I just wasn't sure she'd pay attention enough to get herself there safe.

Her grief had her so distracted. I came home one night to a houseful of smoke. She'd put supper in the oven and forgot all about it.

It could have been worse if I hadn't gotten home when I did. We lost a pan and the house smelled smoky for a while. But I just ordered pizza and we were fine.

Before Aaron died, she would have gotten all apologetic about such a mishap. I honestly think she didn't even know it had happened.

I guess she got a little better over the next couple of weeks and in time I didn't freeze in fear every time the phone rang during the day. I was so scared for a while that there would be a call that she'd been in an accident. She survived somehow.

I guess I must've been feeling better because on a particular Friday in early February, the phone rang in my office and I didn't panic. I just answered.

"Jimmy," Sam's voice inquired sounding strained.

"Hey Sam," I said trying to sound easy even though his tone made me feel anything but easy. "What's up?"

"I can't remember Emma's favorite flower," he said, his voice becoming suddenly panicked. "Do you know?"

"Uh…lilies, I think," I answered. "What's going on?"

"I just don't think I can go home without flowers for her."

"Why are you coming home at this time of d-"

I stopped short.

"Where are you? Is there someplace close we can meet up for a cup of coffee?"

He wasn't far from me as it turned out. He was at the flower shop where I often bought Florence flowers when I snapped at her…or for Mother's Day…or her birthday. The same one where I would sometimes pick up some roses after school to take home to my girl.

I took an early lunch and headed out to meet up with him.

I found him standing stiffly outside the coffee shop we'd agreed to meet at. He brightened a little when he saw me but I don't think I'd seen him look quite so scared since the night Jesse'd run off.

We went inside and I ordered us a couple sandwiches and some coffee. Then I turned my attention to Sam.

"Algiers Motel?" I asked and he nodded looking weary.

"They let the officers involved recant their confessions, Jimmy. What else was I supposed to do?"

"Have you talked to Emma about this? That this is what might happen?"

He nodded.

"I don't think she was too happy about it."

"She married a man with integrity and principles. I know her well enough to know that she wouldn't want you to change," I told him. "Even wasn't strong enough to stick with something like that. When things got hard, he checked out. She needs to know you're a man who won't do that."

"Jimmy, I did just bail because things got hard."

"Not on her you didn't bail. This is a job you've left. You can get another. You can't get a new conscience."

"I don't like the thought of facing her like this. When Emma's mad…"

I don't know the criminals Sam had faced down over the years. I do know what he faced down during the riots…and still he was afraid of Emma's wrath. I guess I could understand it. Criminals and rioters could take his life but Emma could take his life's meaning.

"You aren't going to lose her," I assured him. "She'll be upset and maybe scared at first but she'll be alright. And so will you. She might not admit it right away but I think she might even be proud of you."

"You think?"

I nodded.

"You'll even be more of a hero to Jesse than you already are."

Sam chuckled.

"You should have seen it," he said. "My Lieutenant told me what was up. I argued and he said that was just the way it was going to be. I pulled out my badge and gun and put them down…hard…right in the middle of his desk. And then I just turned and walked out."

"Sounds like something right out of a movie," I said. I was kind of in awe of him right then.

"I wish," he said. "The movies never show the cop that quits on principle having to break the news to their wives or trying to find a new job before they run out of money for the mortgage."

"One thing at a time," I said. "First, let's go back over to the flower shop and pick up some lilies. Talking this out with your wife is going to go a lot better if she lets you in the house."

"Once I'm in the door, what do I say?" he asked.

"Emma's a smart lady," I reminded him. "I'm sure she saw this coming."

"Seeing it coming and having it arrive are two different things. Especially now that we have Michael to take care of too."

"Well, let's you and me sort some stuff. How long can you guys get by on your savings? Remember there's some money available for taking care of Michael…Noah did provide for that."

"I don't want to touch that money, Jimmy," Sam said forcefully. "That money is for Michael. I want as much of it still there for his schooling as possible. We owe Noah that much."

"So the savings then," I said. "How long can that last?"

"Three months," he answered. "Four, if we're real careful."

"Emma's a careful lady so that gives you four months to find a job," I said. "You've got how long in with the force?"

"Fifteen years," he answered and I think he was perking up a little seeing where this was going. "'Bout half that with a detective's shield."

"Seems to me a man with your qualifications won't have trouble getting another job," I reassured him. "If nothing else, you could get your PI license."

He frowned a little at that. I think he knew being a PI wasn't like it is in books and movies and on TV. Sure Paul Drake had an exciting life but not everyone can work for Perry Mason.

"Detroit ain't the only city needing law enforcement either," I reminded him.

He sort of shook his head.

"Emma won't want to consider moving at least until Jesse's graduated."

Jesse was only a junior that year so taking a job at a town outside of Detroit wasn't going to be a solution for over a year.

"You'll think of something," I said clapping Sam on the shoulder. "And whatever you fear now, I know Emma will stand behind you while you do it."

I think he felt a little better then. At least he felt brave enough to head for home and I went back to my office to deal with the last minute end of the week crises at school. Some things are even more certain than death and taxes.

I don't know how telling Emma went exactly. I know Emma seemed a little tense on Sunday when we all gathered there for dinner. She didn't say much about it. I know Sam wasn't saying much either.

Oddly enough, I had to chuckle. It was funny that Jesse knew enough to not bring it up but the way he looked at Sam that day. If Sam had opened his shirt to reveal a big ol' 'S' on his chest, I don't think Jesse would have looked more in awe of the man. Jesse had always loved Sam and been grateful for how willing Sam was to take him in. But now Sam was Marshal Dillon and Captain America all rolled into one.

Driving home from Sam and Emma's that evening, I got to really thinking about them. Sure neither of them said a word and there was obviously a giant elephant in the corner they were both trying to avoid talking about. Emma looked tired that day...worn in a way I hadn't seen in her before.

But there was more to them that day than the fear and weariness. Emma actually dished Sam's food before setting the serving dishes on the table to be passed around. She touched him every time she passed him. Nothing really overt but just resting her hand lightly on his arm, patting his shoulder. And with every touch, I could see Sam growing a little stronger and more confident.

She might be scared and upset but she knew she married a good man who would come through for her and the kids. With every touch and small gesture, she was letting him know that too.

Sam and Emma were going to be fine. It might take some time and that time might get a little lean but they'd be stronger for it in the long run.

I'm not going to say I quit worrying about Sam and Emma but they didn't really need me to worry for them so I didn't spend a lot of time on it. I had students to see to and Sherry to look out for. I did promise Billy after all.

Sherry was doing pretty good though. I was proud of her. She had herself a job in one of the labs over at U of M. Emma watched the baby during the day. I know Sherry missed Billy something terrible but she was getting along. She'd been a solitary sort for years and it didn't take her all that long, I guess, to go back to the independent woman she'd been when I met her.

I still looked in on her from time to time and I made a point to talk to her, just the two of us, any Sunday that she was at Emma and Sam's. Joanie went over after work sometimes to help her with the baby and they'd go out to lunch a lot of Saturdays. They were really close friends. Sometimes those random roommate assignments you get in your freshman year really stick. U of M got it right with those two.

I was also keeping an eye on Kid. He wasn't doing well at all. It was hard for him to go from a little cage in the jungle to winter in Detroit. He did go and work for Al though and I thought that was a good thing. Al could understand things I could only try to. That hurt me some that I couldn't really be there as much for him as I wanted to but at least he had someone who sort of understood. And he could feel like he wasn't leaving Lou to do everything alone anymore. He was bringing in some money too.

But in his head and I think even in his heart and soul…he wasn't whole anymore and that was hard. It was hard to see and I'll never truly grasp how hard it must have been to live.

Well, about a week after I had that chat with Sam, there was a peace march over in Ann Arbor. Joanie took Kid just like she said she would. I just went along with it. I think I thought it would force him to confront things he was avoiding and maybe spur him to healing or something.

I'd had something to do earlier so I didn't go with them. By afternoon, or really closer to evening, I was just reading for the hell of it. Maybe it wasn't as much just for the hell of it though. I always felt that with the age group I worked with that it was good to read whatever came out new that was focused at them. Just the year before a book by a young lady from Tulsa came out. The Outsiders. Pretty good book too. I was lounging on the couch with it when I heard Joanie's car pull into the drive.

She came in and I could tell something wasn't right with her. She just stopped once she got into the living room and looked at me. She had something to say and she didn't know how to say it.

"What's wrong?" I asked. She needed some prodding. I could tell.

Joanie opened her mouth but nothing came out at first. Then the tears started.

"I'm sorry," she cried. "I thought it would help. He really wanted to go. He hadn't wanted to do anything until this. I had no idea…"

"What happened, Joanie?" I asked and there was an edge to my voice.

"He…well…he was wearing his army jacket…you know, like he always does now. And he's on his crutches because his leg was acting up and…Oh James…it was terrible!"

"Joanie," I said even stronger, "What happened?"

"Someone figured out that he's a veteran…suddenly no one was chanting for peace or singing peace songs…they called him a murderer…they called him a rapist, James! They spat on him! I led him out as fast as I could but it was hard getting through the crowd. He didn't say anything to me on the way home. I am so sorry!"

"Is he okay?" I asked.

"I'm so sorry," was all she whispered back.

"Joanie!" I yelled. She jumped. I should have felt bad about that but I didn't. "Is Kid alright? Is he hurt?"

She shook her head.

"No…he's not hurt. I thought I was helping him. I…I know what he means to you…I just wanted to help. I…nothing goes quite right…"

I brushed swiftly past her not evening acknowledging her. I just left my sweet Joanie standing in the middle of the living room crying as I ran to the phone and called Lou. I knew Kid wouldn't answer the phone.

It was actually Theresa who answered. I think in retrospect I'm glad she did.

"Hey Jimmy," she said and she didn't sound very upset. If Kid was in a real bad way, she would have been the one wallowing in the drama of it.

"Is he okay?" I asked breathlessly. "I don't know what she was thinking."

"I think he's a little shaken," she said softly. I think there was someone else in the room or close by that she didn't want hearing. "But not too bad. I think a part of him thinks it's what he deserves. I don't know why but that's what it looks like to me."

"I'm sorry, kiddo," I said and my voice might've cracked a little. "You tell your sister that too."

"I will Jimmy. By the way, how's Joanie doing?" she asked.

"Fine," I replied with a clipped edge in my voice.

"Oh... well, umm...good. 'Cause I was worried. I saw her when she dropped Kid off. She looked pretty messed up. She shouldn't blame herself. Some people are just dumb, Jimmy...it's not her fault."

I suddenly didn't feel very good. I mean, I wasn't doing all that well hearing that Kid had gone through such a thing. But I got real sick feeling when I thought of how I just blew off my girl when she was crying. I got off the phone with Theresa and went back to the living room. She wasn't there.

I hadn't heard the door close while I was on the phone. I was too wrapped up in worrying about Kid. I guess it wasn't bad to worry about him. But the fact was that he had two women looking out for him. Two strong women at that. Joanie had no one but me and I wasn't doing a very good job at all.

I saw her in the driveway struggling with her car keys. I'm glad she had locked it actually. She was too upset to unlock it and I would have hated for her to be out driving in the shape she was in.

"Joanie, honey," I said as I got close to her. I could see her shoulders shaking and hear the whimpers as she sobbed and got more and more frustrated trying to get the key into the lock. It didn't help that it was the wrong key. I think she was trying to jam her office key into the car door. "I'm sorry."

She shook her head almost violently.

"No," she said resolutely. "I messed it all up. I hurt him. I just thought...I should have known. I failed my own brother and now I'm failing yours."

She accentuated her words with a strangled cry as she threw her keys weakly at the car window. They fell harmless on the frozen cement.

I bent down and picked up the keys and then moved closer to Joanie and picked her up too. I cradled her close to me and began walking toward the house.

"What are you doing, James?" she sniffled.

"It don't happen often, but you're dead wrong," I said. "I fully intend to argue this out with you but I'm not going to do it in front of nosy Mrs. Crayton across the street while we both freeze half to death."

It turns out she heard part of my conversation with Theresa. Not any good part of it either. But I think we were kind of alright before we turned in that night. I got her to quit crying and she even cuddled up to me so I must've done something right.

The next day we went over to Emma and Sam's like normal. But nothing felt normal. Sherry was somewhere else that day. I can't remember if her sister came to visit her or what but she wasn't there with the baby.

Joanie was trying to avoid Kid and I think even more trying to avoid Lou. Kid seemed off, though I don't even know how I could tell. I had no idea what normal was for him anymore. Lou just looked sad and there was such a distance between them. Kid spent part of the afternoon on the porch with Al. Colder than hell it was that day and Kid still couldn't handle being indoors too much. Emma and Sam were almost chilly to each other. I don't know what it was about. I didn't ask. I knew they had things to work through and if either of them had needed my help, they would have asked for it.

I wasn't sure how long the strain would go on between all of us but I didn't like it. This was all I ever knew of family and it seemed to be falling apart.

I made it through another week. School was rough as usual. The kids...sometimes it just seemed there wasn't enough I could do for them. Nothing seemed to make anything any better. Joanie was back to working herself near to death. I don't think I saw her without her nose in a book or a brief all week.

When we went back to Emma's the following week, I have to admit things felt less strained. I still think Sam was feeling stressed about trying to find a new job and Emma was resolving to make the best of it but it was hard on her. I know they both feared they wouldn't be able to take care of the kids. Those children, all three of them, were everything to them.

Joanie wasn't hiding as much that week. I think she even talked to Lou. I know Lou didn't hold it against Joanie what happened. Kid didn't either.

Despite all the hard stuff Lou was going through, there was a light in her that day. She just seemed to sparkle. I should have known that look but I didn't recognize it until she cleared her throat about halfway through dinner.

We all looked at her and she kind of blushed and looked over to Kid before talking.

"Me and Kid have some news," she said and looked over to him again. He even smiled at her. It was good to see. I hadn't seen too many smiles from him since he'd been home. But he looked genuinely happy. Almost like he used to.

"We're going to have a baby!"

So yeah...that happened.

I regret to inform that my already sporadic updating of stories is about to get worse. I am starting school next month. It was far too long in coming and I would not have been able to do it without my mom totally having my back. But...most of my already scant writing time will probably be taken by my comp class...and then in the fall I have another comp class and a lit class...but I have to do this for me and for my family. I won't stop writing...I just wanted to warn that I might not be able to write as much or as often.

I will say, however, that I finally have the next pie story mapped out. Rachel's pie. I have been given an idea for Jesse to get a slice of pie too and we'll just have to see if that turns into anything. Rachel's might be the last but it might not either.

As always, I want to thank those who have stuck with me through this very long and tumultuous journey. And all the ladies at the plus for their never-ending support...and dear Beulah specifically who helped this chapter become worthy of anyone seeing it. Keep watching for an update from her on Rock Creek High as well as a new and spooky story she's writing featuring Ike...both are still a little ways off but you will be rewarded for patience!

Love you all and let me know what you think! Kisses, J