Peter Parker

Maybe I wasn't meant to have anything good stay in my life.

I looked up at the ceiling of my apartment as I lay in my bed. I was thinking about what I went through the last few months. Despite resolving myself to leave everything behind after The Spell, I found myself back with MJ. It wasn't easy, but it seemed like it was all worth it. I was with the love of my life again. I reconnected with Ned and Betty, as well as Pepper, Morgan, Happy, and Doctor Strange. I ended up joining another superhero team after Scott, Craig, and Kitty took me underneath their wings. I even got therapy and was on the road to recovering from Aunt May's death. Life wasn't all good. I was being targeted by Justin Hammer and I still had to contend with The Daily Bugle dragging my name through the mud while I work for them. But I was happy.

Then MJ's memories resurfaced in the form of a copy of her in a mini-universe inside of her, courtesy of Doctor Strange. I was doing my very best to prepare for the worst possible outcome while MJ dealt with that. I was hoping and praying that it wouldn't be the end of me and MJ. I was hoping that Mirror MJ's resentment towards me wouldn't be an issue. But, it was.

Everything just got worse from there.

I spent more time as Spider-Man than I ever had in a long while. More and more, it started to get harder to pull my punches. While I took my duty as Spider-Man very seriously, I almost always had fun while doing so. But since the breakup, it wasn't fun for me. I kept telling myself that I was doing the Spider-Man thing because it's the right thing to do. But, that wasn't the whole truth. I was hitting the streets hard because every minute I was patrolling was a minute I wasn't thinking about MJ.

I didn't hang out with the others as much anymore. I really only hung out with Ned, and that was mostly because he was too stubborn to let me suffer by my lonesome. Betty always checked in on me at work. I told her I was okay. She knew I was lying through my teeth. I felt bad for doing so. I felt even worse about it when she didn't call me out on it. She knew I was still hurting but she didn't want to push me. I hated that I wasn't opening up to her, but I wasn't ready. What made things worse was that Carmilla took me on a SHIELD mission. She trusted me. And what do I end up doing? I let my feelings over the breakup distract me from watching her back, leaving her open to get stabbed by that syringe that caused to her have a seizure. I haven't seen her since.

But what really hurt the most was seeing MJ that one day, standing across the street, laughing with Brad. I was practically floored when I saw her. She resented me over what I did leading up to The Spell? That was fine. That was more than understandable. But Brad literally snapped a picture of Kitty and I while we were in the bathroom and tried to make it seem as if we were backstabbing MJ, and MJ's cool with hanging out with him? Was what I did so horrible in comparison?

What was the point? What was the point of me getting back together with MJ? What was the point of me reconnecting with the others? MJ and I are over and I'm still hurting people with my decisions.

"What the fuck?" I muttered to myself.

I reached over and grabbed my phone off of the nightstand. I checked the time.

6:00 PM

I thought about calling Jericho Drumm. If he was in New Orleans, it'd be five o'clock. That was a reasonable hour, right?

"It's not like I got anything better to do," I deadpanned. Stewing in bed wasn't going to help anyway. I needed a reason to get up. Well, I was going to get one. Before I could even go through my contacts, my phone sounded. Scott's name was flashing on my screen. I stared at it for a few seconds. I wanted to decline the call, but I answered it before I put the phone to my ear. "Hello."

"Hey Peter," Scott greeted.

"How are you?"

"I'm… not great." I sat up. Before I could ask what was wrong, he continued to speak. "How're you holding up?"

I wanted to lie. I wanted to tell him I was okay. But I was never really good at lying to the people close to me and Scott… Scott was nothing if he wasn't able to read people. "I'm just trying to keep it together."

"Does it have to do with MJ?"

I gritted my teeth. "That's… a good chunk of it. I was actually about to call Dr. Drumm before you called."

"I see. Sorry for the bad timing."

"It's okay." I decided to change the subject. "How are you? Are you back in New York?"

"That's… actually why I called you. I arrived back in New York this morning, along with Joanna."

I raised my eyebrows. "Joanna flew out to meet you?"

"Yeah, she did. I needed her help. If I recall correctly, I told you that something has been bothering me for months, and that it led me going to Europe from Haiti. I did tell you, right?"

"You did."

"Well, Joanna and I were able to investigate and… well… we'll have another headache to deal with." I didn't get upset. I didn't get exasperated. I was barely given pause. There was actually a small part of me that was glad I had something major on the horizon. It would help me get my mind off of things. However, that hope was sunk when Scott continued. "And by 'we', I mean all of us." It took me a moment to realize that he meant not just the X-Men, but The American Idiots as well. That's when I became a bit worried.

"Why would they be involved?" I asked.

"You'll find out tomorrow night," Scott replied. "I'm calling a meeting at The Bunker at 7. I'll have Kitty reach out to MJ. Do you think you can reach out to Ned and Betty?"

"Yeah, I can handle that."

"Good. And Peter?"

"Yes Scott?"

"You know that you can reach out to me if you ever need to talk, right?"

"I know." I paused for a moment. "Well, I'm going to go now. Let me know if you need anything."

"Will do. Have a good rest of the day, Peter."

"You too, Scott."

I hung up the phone. I went through my contacts until I had Jericho's name highlighted. My thumb hovered above the dial option. I then sighed as I exited my contacts and put my phone back on the nightstand.

"Another time," I said to myself before I lay back on my bed.

A couple of hours later, I went on patrol. As I swung through the city, I used Edith to listen in on Jonah's show. I don't know why. Maybe it was very funny to me that Jonah was unwittingly paying the very person he was bashing on a near daily basis. Or maybe I low key had a masochistic streak. Either way, listening to the show recently became a part of my nightly patrol routine.

"…once again, Spider-Man has proven himself to be the biggest menace in New York," Jonah ranted. "As of recently, the hospitals have been filling up with those that have been severely injured by him! I'm talking broken bones, concussions, lacerations, you name it! He calls himself the Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man, but seems to have no regards in partaking in actions that would landed someone with a badge in hot water! To all those who support Spider-Man while carrying a negative sentiment towards New York's finest, how can you be against police brutality but okay with Spider-Man's increasingly aggressive actions?! Answer that for me!"

I cut my line mid swing and landed on the edge of a rooftop. I stood there for some seconds, really thinking about what he just said. I shook my head in disgust.

"Well there you have it folks," I muttered. "Someone you can't stand just made a good point." As much as I wanted to justify myself, I couldn't. I always prided myself in never doing too much to take down a criminal. But, that was getting harder day by day. "Why am I like this?"

"Peter, you're getting an incoming call from Ned," Edith announced. "Would you like to accept the call?"

"Yes please." I was eager not to dwell on Jonah having a point. A few moments later, Ned spoke.

"Hey Peter," he greeted. "How're you holding up?"

"I'm peachy. How are you?"

"I'm good. Just dealing with school stuff. You know how that is. Hey, have you heard from Craig lately?"

I thought about it for a moment. "I can't say I have." I realized I haven't seen him for days, weeks even. "Why? What's up?"

"Nothing's up. Just wanted to know how he was doing. I called him earlier, but it went straight to voicemail."

"I see. Well, you'll probably get to see him tomorrow night."

"Why tomorrow?"

"Well, Scott wants to see all of us at The Bunker at 7 PM tomorrow. Something major is on the horizon again, and apparently it involves all of us." I sighed. "I need a vacation."

"Maybe we can all take one after we graduate," Ned suggested. He changed the subject. "Peter, seriously, are you okay?"

"I'm fine," I lied. Why did Ned even ask and why did I bother lying? Ned knew I wasn't the least bit okay.

"Dude, are you sure? I've been seeing some of the online footage of the stuff you've done while patrolling lately. Like, you really hit somebody with a mailbox!"

"Yes I'm sure. The guy had it coming because…" I sighed before I sat down on the ledge of the building. "…No, I'm not okay, Ned. I haven't been okay since Phoenix."

I heard him scoff. "Peter, I think the point where you haven't been okay has been beforehand." I didn't respond to that. He was right. "You should call MJ."

"I'm not calling Michelle." I said that so quickly that even I was surprised by it. I took in a breath. "She wanted her distance, so I'm going to give it to her."

"Is that the reason, or is it because you've seen her with Brad? You know they're not dating, right?"

Before I could even answer, I heard sirens out in the distance. I was glad. I didn't want to continue this conversation. "I gotta go, Ned. The city calls. I'll see you tomorrow."

"Try not to go overboard!"

"I won't."

I did.

When I went to work yesterday, I barely greeted anyone on my way in. I barely took time to even clock in. Once I did, I went straight to the break room. After grabbing a Styrofoam cup, I poured coffee into it. I took a sip. I didn't even cringe when the flavor hit my taste buds. As horrible as The Daily Bugle's coffee was, I just needed a pick me up. As I stood there, sipping the bitter liquid, I thought about what the meeting was going to be about tonight. I was hoping it wasn't going to be as major as I thought it was going to be. But I knew that was a pipedream. Scott wasn't the type of person who'd call a meeting over something that could be relayed by a simple text or phone call. Before I could ponder more over that, I was taken out of my thoughts when my phone vibrated in my pocket. I pulled the phone out and saw I got a text. I opened it up to see that it was from Betty.

"Downstairs! Now!"

I closed my eyes and shook my head. Something told that it wasn't going to be a casual chat.

After making my way down to the archives, I walked up to Betty. She was glaring at me, arms crossed. A part of me wanted to make a joke. Something told me that wouldn't have been the wisest thing to do.

"You wanted to talk to me?" I asked.

"Did you really have to break both of the gunmen's legs last night?" she shot back at me.

I frowned. "I didn't mean to. He tried to ambush me and I tossed him across the hallway. I didn't think he'd go out the window. I tried to catch him with my web. And I did… just not in time before his feet hit the ground." I bared my teeth as I tried to smile. But I was sure I was visibly cringing.

"I want to believe you, Peter, but you've been keeping the ER workers very busy lately." She frowned. "What's gotten into you?"

"Life."

"I'm serious, Pete!"

"So am I."

She tilted her head. "Are you still upset for you and MJ?"

"Michelle is the least of my worries."

"And I'm a virgin." I narrowed my eyes at her. "Sorry, I thought we were both saying stuff that's not true."

I shook my head. "Betty… I think you forgot that I tend to have a lot going on in my life at any given time."

She sneered at me. "Peter… I think you forgot who you're talking to. You think I haven't noticed that you haven't been wearing that armor you and MJ made or that you've been referring to MJ by her real first name? I don't think you becoming more brutal ever since the breakup is a coincidence." Her eyebrows became more drawn together. "Peter, I understand you're hurting. And I'm sorry you're going through it. But you're literally strong enough to concuss somebody with a flick to their forehead. Seek help before you kill somebody, because this isn't you."

"That won't happen," I promised. I wasn't sure that was a promise I could keep, the way things were going.

"It better not," Betty warned. "Do you know how dirty I felt agreeing with Jonah, Peter?" She shuddered.

I remembered last night. "I could imagine." I sighed. "Look, I'll have it under control." I was then reminded of the meeting later on at night. "By the way, Scott wants to talk to all of us at The Bunker."

Betty tilted her head. "…Why?"

"Let's just say, business is about to pick up."

She chuckled bitterly. "Of course it is. Well, I'll be there. At what time?"

"Seven."

"Good to know. Anyway, let's get back to work before someone notices we're gone."

"Go on ahead," I urged. "I'll be up in a minute."

Betty gave me a look. She then nodded before she walked past at me.

I stood there for a bit. I wanted to disagree with Betty. I really did. But I couldn't. She was right. This breakup was affecting me. I shook my head. I was going to get over it soon enough. That's what I told myself. Still, I made a mental note to speak with Jericho the next chance I get. I looked forward and smiled as I scoffed.

"If it isn't one thing, it's another," I muttered to myself. "Is it too early for me to retire from all of this?" I shook my head. "Who am I kidding? I've grown used to this."

What the fuck?