"Arizona" Callie asked almost questioningly as she answered the unexpected phone call "hi, umm, yeah it's me, I know this isn't a planned call but umm do you have a few minutes?" Arizonas voice was quiet, with a hint of embarrassment as she spoke.
She had contemplated calling Callie for the past two hours but every time the contact was displayed on her phone, she backed out. She had given Callie Sofia, she couldn't just call now to say she missed her and wanted to see her, or could she?
Arizona was good at putting other people's feelings before her own, she placed around the kitchen thinking what she could say, that was if Callie even answered. Maybe I could just ask to visit she thought to herself, no then Callie would think she wanted to visit her. She lifted her hands to her face and groaned when she suddenly heard the dialing tone. Shit she thought, suddenly Callie's voice called her name and she panicked.
"Yeah, are you ok?" She questioned, knowing this was not a typical phone call, to start with they had set days and times that Arizona called Sofia, this not being one of them and on the rare occasion Arizona did call outside of these times, it would be when Sofia was still awake, not at 11pm at night.
"Yeah, fine. Are you?" Arizona was stalling, and Callie knew it. Despite being separated six months now, and now living opposite ends of the country for almost 6 weeks, she still knew her ex wife well after being together for 8 years. She knew that Arizona would talk when she was ready and that she just needed to keep her on the phone long enough to find out what was wrong. "Yeah we are ok. Sofia is asleep but she's had a great day today" Callie offered their daughter as a neutral topic of conversation knowing she was the one thing they could both talk about for hours. It was true, While Sofia had a great day today, it wasn't like that everyday. "Did she? That's great" Arizona was genuinely happy that Sofia was doing well. "She's started drawing, she's been outside drawing things she can see and colouring them in and the pictures are so good. I think we have a little artist" Callie smiled glancing over to look at the art book on the table in front of her.
"Hang on I'll send you some pictures" she quickly snapped a few images, the first being a tree with a swing, I think she's the one sat on it. Arizona opened the picture and a smile spread across her face "that's the tree in my garden, she loves the swing and will sit there for hours", Callie sent the second drawing which was same tree but this time with a treehouse. Arizona laughed knowing exactly what this was "she's been asking for a tree house for months, she's got her heart set on it", the third image was inside the treehouse "she definitely knows what she wants" Callie laughed sending the final image.
"I really miss her" Callie had a feeling that Arizona missing her daughter maybe where this conversation was heading. "She misses you too, so much. We were actually talking about her coming to see you"
Sofia missed her mom, she missed her friends and Seattle generally. She wanted to go home but Callie was hoping she could get Sofia to try New York a little longer before letting her go back to Seattle with Arizona. "Really? I mean yes I'd love that" the change of tone in Arizona's voice was clear and her mood immediately lifted at the thought of seeing her baby girl.
Arizona felt happy that her baby missed her as much as she missed her baby. Not that she wanted Sofia to be sad but she hated the thought of Penny replacing her. While Sofia was initially excited to move to New York with Callie and Penny, that changed very quickly when the reality of it set in. She didn't like her new house, she didn't want to start a new school or make new friends, she definitely didn't want a new best friend as she was happy with Zola and she didn't want to be away from her mommy.
There were many nights Sofia was sat on her mama's lap while on video call to her mommy wanting to know why mama had to move and why mommy didn't. Sofia, despite only being 7 years old was clever, she knew of her mother's separation. Details of the court case remained hidden from her but she knew things had changed.
In the months after the separation but before the move, Sofia had spent her time between Callie and Arizona, fitting in with their work schedules but they usually had half a week each with her. Sofia was happy, she typically lived with Arizona and visited Callie as Callie had more on call hours in Ortho with trauma than Arizona with her fellowship that had scheduled surgeries with more set hours.
Then, in the blink of an eye, it had been six weeks since Sofia had left, six weeks that Arizona had craved the company of her daughter. She wanted to wake up to Sofia jumping in her bed asking for pancakes for breakfast, she wanted to pack her lunch and brush her hair before school. She wanted to sit and do homework while they ate snacks. She wanted so badly to kiss and cuddle the little girl her heart loved so much but she let go.
She did let her go, she had won the custody battle but winning wasn't what she wanted. She didn't actually feel like she had won anything at all. She had hoped that the custody battle would bring Callie to her senses about leaving, that Sofia could keep both parents in the same state and continue coparenting as they had. But seeing the pain in Callie's eyes, hearing the sobs erupt from her chest, Arizona gave into the woman she loved so very much. She even paid for Sofia's plane ticket to New York, and would pay every dollar to fly Sofia back and forth as long as she could see her daughter.
"Did you want Sofia back in Seattle or did you want to come here?" Callie offered, not yet knowing the reason for the phonecall. "I was actually calling to see if I could visit, I miss her so much, my heart is so broken without her and I just wondered if I could get a few days off, would it be ok to have her?" As Callie originally suspected, the call was about her missing Sofia but hearing the heartbreak in her ex wife's voice was almost too much to bare.
Callie knew how generous Arizona had been given she legally had full custody. Callie didn't know why Arizona had changed her mind, she mainly put it down to Arizona's new fellowship being demanding time wise but she was sure there would have been other factors. Callie knew that Arizona was an incredible mother, just as she had been an incredible wife.
"Arizona, you can visit anytime. You don't even need to ask, you can just show up and take her. I mean literally, you have every right even legally to just do that" she was quickly interrupted by Arizona "I do but I wouldn't, I would never just show up and take her, she's our daughter, mine and yours, but I would like to visit, please. We can arrange dates that suit us both, I just really, really need to see her and hug her and have her bring some light back into my life" Arizona's words almost like a plea that Callie would decline, "you tell me the dates and I will make them work, no questions asked" Callie's words were sincere, Arizona knew this, she knew Callie and her tone. "Would this weekend be too soon? I'm off Saturday and Sunday, and there's a possibility I could take Monday too, if I can convince Alex to take my Paed's shift"
Arizona waited with bated breath for Callie to answer, she needed more than anything to visit, even willing to conquer her fear of flying just to see little girls face. "This weekend would be great. Will you fly in Friday or Saturday?" Callie answered after what felt like a lifetime to Arizona but was perhaps only a few seconds, Arizona didn't know because she had prepared for Callie to decline this weekend with it already being Thursday today so hadn't actually looked at flights. Pulling out her laptop she quickly searched what was available "umm there's one tomorrow that lands just after 7pm your time, then there's one later that evening and one first thing Saturday" Arizona informed her.
"Tomorrow's perfect. I'm not working so we can meet you at the airport, maybe get something to eat on the way back, I'm sure Sofia would love a late bedtime with her mommy coming" Tears sprung in Arizona's eyes, today was Thursday meaning that in less than 24 hours she could have her baby in her arms, "Thankyou" Callie could hear the tears, she didn't yet understand how hard it was to part from their daughter but if anything helped her understand, it was Arizona's reaction "please don't cry sweetheart" Despite the comforting words from Callie and the endearing name used, Arizona felt the need to cry more. "Let me call Alex about Monday and I'll let you know. I'll send you the flight number as soon as I've booked tomorrow" she knew breaking down on the phone wasn't an option so she needed a way out "of course, I'll keep it a surprise for her" Callie confirmed "Thankyou, I know it's short notice" Arizona was truly grateful "you could call and tell me you'd already landed and that would be plenty of notice, you could knock the front door and it would still be ok. It will always be a yes" Callie reassured, Arizona said goodbye before allowing the tears to fall freely.
She was petrified of the flight, she still didn't know how she was going to get one foot to walk in front of the other onto the plane but she had too, she had to see Sofia.
A quick call to Alex and he had offered to take both her Monday and Tuesday shifts, he knew how much she was struggling and agreed that seeing Sofia would benefit them both. She was more than just a mentor to him, she had become a sister, he had been there to pick up the pieces the past few months and she was always grateful for him. With her day off being Wednesday, it gave her 5 days before needing to return and in exchange, she could pick up his on calls the following two weekend which she was due to be off. She happily agreed, knowing this would give her the time she so desperately craved with Sofia before she started her new school.
Flights were booked and details were sent to Callie
Arizona- flight booked for tomorrow landing 7:10pm, flight back Wednesday 3:15pm
Callie- amazing, we cannot wait to see you.
Callie's words caused butterflies in her stomach, she knew Callie wasn't in love with her anymore but that didn't mean she'd fallen out of love with her. Yes Arizona had changed since the plane crash, her mental health took a turn for the worst and she had suffered a severe depressive episode. She wanted to pause their lives for a moment so she could catch up, but Callie was determined to go on as if everything was ok. Arizona wanted the new house and the baby, she just needed time to adjust. Adjust to losing part of her body, to undergoing intense physio therapy despite wanting to curl up in a ball, she used every ounce of energy for Callie and Sofia but it didn't feel enough.
Arizona found comfort in a fellow colleague, Arizona didn't recognise the flirty side of said colleague and was horrified when she leaned in to kiss her. It also happened that it was the same moment that Callie entered and caught them together. Of course Arizona pulled away immediately but Callie had already seen enough, and due to her wife's ever changing mood, she didn't know what to believe. Was it the first time? Was it just a kiss? Did Arizona flirt back? It lead to weeks of arguments and used up the little energy Arizona had reserved leaving nothing for her marriage.
Despite marriage counselling, Callie seemed to have written off their marriage without trying. Many cruel things were said about Arizona during the counselling and court hearing, words that Arizona never imagined would fall from her wife's lips. Words that caused her already broken heart to crumble into pieces, that caused her to cry herself to sleep every night. She was so madly in love with her wife and the thought that Callie could give it up so easily devastated her.
Callie quickly moved on, and started dating Penny. Many of their colleagues and mutual friends believed it was just a rebound, that Callie needed the distraction of a resident to occupy her mind. That was until Penny received the Preminger Grant to New York and Callie said she wanted to go with her. She wanted a new start away from Seattle and away from Arizona.
Until that point, Arizona was sure Callie would come home. She was going to realise their marriage was worth more than this and she would come home. They would talk, fix what was broken and go to bed placing a kiss on the other's lips. So it's safe to say that Arizona's world came crashing down realising that Callie wasn't only dating Penny, but she loved her enough to move to the opposite end of the country with her.
Arizona still wasn't coping with the breakdown of her marriage. Many friends and colleagues had expressed concern for her health and well-being. Arizona didn't socialise with her friends anymore, she wasn't the happy, perky, child like doctor they had always known and loved. She was quiet and withdrawn, she worked every hour offered sometimes topping 100 hours a week. She ate and slept for survival, and her nightmares had returned but this time she faced them alone.
But tonight, Arizona felt joy for the first time. Tomorrow she would see her little girl, she would feel her skin, smell her hair and remember every part of her baby that she was missing. Yes she had to face the flight, and that would be one hell of a battle in itself but she was determined to do it. Tomorrow she would hug her daughter and nothing was going to ruin that.