Too-long author's note:
This was originally intended as just a Caelus and Dan Heng bonding moment because idiot Caelus was silent when Dan Heng wanted to talk before the battle (when they all could have been headed toward their deaths) and there was no true resolution to my angst over that. But this short story took on a life of its own, turned into an angsty cracky rollercoaster, and ended up dragging poor Welt, as everyone's favorite responsible adult, in to pick up the pieces.
This picks up directly after the Phantylia boss battle, but before any in-game side quests that came after, so includes possible spoilers for the game itself up to and including the main Xianzhou story arch. Dan Heng's and Dan Feng's lore and backstory are complicated and I did my best to check references. Anything that might not sound quite right I chalk up to Dan Heng being traumatized and "really messed up" by the events of the story arch.
There is one POV switch that I hope is not too jarring - it is intentional and occurs at a section beak.
No ships; friend/found family all the way. Read this little story however you want, but that's how it was intended.
Lastly: The author does not condone underage drinking, drinking to excess, or using alcohol to solve problems.
Long Days, Late Nights, and Coping Mechanisms
Fu Xuan, Master Diviner and now self-appointed Acting General, had not ordered Dan Heng arrested, much to the Express Crew's relief.
There had been a long moment of uncertainty, upon regrouping with the Cloud Knights at the entrance to Scalegorge. News of Phantylia's defeat was not nearly enough to forestall open hostility over the state in which the Cloud Knights found their General in the company of the outsiders - injured, unconscious, and unable to speak in defense of Dan Heng. If not for Mr. Yang's calm authority holding them back, Caelus and March may well have come to blows with the Cloud Knights who dared to hold their friend at glaive point.
The arrival of Master Diviner Fu Xuan in all her fiery self-assurance, bold and confident despite her petite stature, disrupted the tension but did little to truly clear the air.
"As you can see," she addressed Dan Heng directly, "even among the Cloud Knights there is a long-held animosity toward Dan Feng. Regardless whether his sins should reflect upon you, your presence on the Luofu will unfortunately be suspect, and certain factions would prefer to see Dang Feng truly dead and forgotten for all time.
"Therefore, it is my advice that until General Jing Yuan is well enough to issue official word revoking the banishment edict, you return with your friends to the Astral Express. It will be safer there, and all of you deserve the time to rest, after the help you have provided us. The Cloud Knights will deal with what remains."
In light of the atmosphere just prior to the battle, when General Jing Yuan had chosen to proceed with only the four outsiders while ordering his Cloud Knights to remain behind, it was clear this was her polite but firm way of saying 'we don't need you right now.' It would take time to rid the Luofu of the remaining Abundance Abominations and arrest the Disciples of Sanctus Medicus and Fu Xuan didn't want the Astral Express Crew under foot any longer. Fair enough.
Most concerning though, was her mention of threats toward Dan Heng.
Caelus had not been aware just how dire Dan Heng's situation was. What he had gathered since the reunion with his friend came mostly from overheard snatches of conversation. The General had spoken to Dan Heng as if he were an old friend, but Dan Heng had replied as if the General were a stranger to him. The Cloud Knights whispered of ancient crimes and banishment and Caelus really didn't understand any of it, much less why Dan Heng looked the way he did now.
But clearly, something about his current appearance and his presence here were enough to put a target on his back. It became more obvious as the four Express Crew members worked their way back through the safer inhabited regions of the Luofu: More and more people paused to stare at Dan Heng as they passed. Some looked on with mere curiosity; after all, most Vidyadhara appeared nearly human, it was only the ears that set them apart.
Caelus himself had only met one other Vidyadhara who sported horns.
But there were also a good number among the crowds who regarded Dan Heng with open hostility, keeping their distance only when they noticed the people with him held weapons at their sides. They didn't brandish the weapons, but they were not discreet about displaying them either. Caelus had to wonder if Dan Heng even noticed the hate-filled glares or heard the occasional jeering words. The glares were enough to burn holes in Caelus's own back, but Dan Heng was utterly lost in his own thoughts.
After a time, in an area free of onlookers, Dan Heng pulled Mr. Yang aside out of earshot. A short exchange followed, and then he was walking away from their group. Before Caelus or March could even think to call out to him, Mr. Yang was ushering them away from his retreating form.
"He's asked for time alone and we'll give it to him. He's perfectly capable of looking after himself." Mr. Yang's tone was firm, leaving no room for argument though Caelus could see he was as worried as they were. The three continued on in silence. Even March, usually brimming with energy and excitement was instead silent and thoughtful.
As they walked, Caelus wondered to himself: if this...form?...appearance?...of Dan Heng was so problematic, why couldn't he just change himself back? How had he even been changed in the first place? But then, this entire expedition ended up more than a little confusing to Caelus. Dan Heng had initially refused to come to the Luofu, so they had left him behind on the Express. But he had grown so concerned for his friends' safety that he followed after them, and the next time they see him, he's...
Well, he's suddenly a reincarnated past High Elder of his people, hated, deposed, and banished. Yeah, that was a little much to take in all at once. That, and the whispers accusing him of being a criminal, and the behavior of the Cloud Knights toward him...and the warning of the Master Diviner...around and around these thoughts chased through Caelus's mind...
But what he kept coming back to, was the way Dan Heng spoke to them upon their reunion. He'd sounded just like himself: not arrogant with power, or dismissive, no anger, just a calm assurance that he was still just Dan Heng, Guard and Archivist of the Astral Express, just their friend.
Except...
He was even more reserved than usual...
And there was the way he had followed behind the General, downtrodden, half bewildered...almost like a prisoner, though he hadn't been shackled, and the General didn't really treat him as one.
And there had been that moment when he couldn't seem to believe his friends wanted his input on the matter before them...that he still had a vote in it.
And there was that unspoken yearning in his (strange yet familiar) eyes that his friends would believe he was the same person they knew.
Despite his appearance. Despite all the secrets he'd kept and was still keeping from them. Despite whatever might happen next...
And Mr. Yang accepted him without question.
And March took his new appearance in stride, though she put her own quirky spin on it.
And Caelus had not spoken a word to him. He'd as good as turned his back on his best friend and dismissed him.
March almost ran into Caelus when he abruptly halted.
"Mr. Yang, I'm sorry. I can't just leave him here alone, please understand." Without waiting for an answer, he took off at a near run back the way they had come. "We'll be careful!" he thought to toss over his shoulder. He didn't hear if Mr. Yang tried to call him back.
It didn't take Caelus long to find Dan Heng again. He obviously wasn't trying to hide, but he had found an unoccupied area with a nice view of the starskiff shipping lanes. It was a spot obviously picked to minimize the chance of anyone sneaking up on him. Of course.
"I thought I said I wanted some time alone," he spoke as Caelus approached within earshot.
"You did. To Mr. Yang. Want one?" He held up the carton of Boss Du's new project; something he'd called a "small-batch IPA" when he mentioned branching out his drink offerings. At least it wasn't his Flaming Potent Tea.
Dan Heng waved at the carton dismissively. "Did you find that in the trash?"
"I am not a raccoon, despite what March says behind my back. No, this came from an actual food vendor." He pulled a bottle out, setting the rest of the carton on the ground between them, turned, and leaned backward against the railing.
"A back alley food vendor? No one honest would sell alcohol to someone your age." Dan Heng eyed the carton on the ground. "Unless you stole it, in which case you should have stolen a more expensive brand." Dan Heng's emphasis had been on "your age" which Caelus found interesting. However old this "High Elder" was supposed to have been, the Dan Heng he knew had always seemed very close to his own age. So why would he want to create a chasm between them now?
Caelus fiddled a little with the still-unopened bottle. "You know, just 'cause I grab some random papers here and there and poke around trash cans does not make me a thief."
"And you paw through unattended packages that don't belong to you..."
Caelus rolled his eyes at Dan Heng's obvious attempt to get a rise out of him. "Only the undeliverable unattended packages! And you're not going to get rid of me that easily. You'll have to come up with some better insults."
Dan Heng turned away from him, gazing out at the expanse of clouds below them. It was getting late; the artificial sun was nearly set. He sighed, "Just go back to the Express. Give me some time alone."
"Nope. Not until I figure out what's wrong with you." He popped the cap off the bottle and took a long drink, thoroughly unprepared for the taste. Face scrunched, he complained, "This really does taste like it came from the trash."
But he'd never been one to let a little setback deter him. Well, at least not for the few weeks that he could remember of his life, so he took another more careful sip before continuing. "So, what's wrong with you?"
Dan Heng turned back to him with a look of incredulity that fit him about as well as a clown nose would have. "Tell me you aren't that stupid, Caelus."
And, huh. Were his horns and eyes glowing just a little bit in the dimming light?
"I have been accused of many things, but 'stupid' isn't..." he paused for a moment for another sip, "Actually, I have been accused of that, by people scarier than you. If you don't like the way you look, why don't you just change yourself back?"
For the tiniest fleeting moment, Caelus caught the surprise on Dan Heng's face, and he gave himself an internal high-five. Bingo.
"You can't possibly understand." Dan Heng turned back to the railing.
"No?" You don't think I've had some major life changes, too?" He raised his bottle and tapped the side of his head with the bottom edge of it. "Memory loss, remember? Stellaron? And the battle against Cocolia? Run through with an ice lance? New weapon, new skills out of the blue?"
A brief pause before Dan Heng stated dismissively, "It's hardly the same thing." So he was bound and determined to be an ass right now. Challenge accepted.
"Okay, Mr. Silent and Mysterious about your past...why don't you tell me how it's different, instead of just standing there, wallowing in self pity."
"Self pity!" Dan Heng turned on him again and yes, his eyes were narrowed and definitely glowing greenish. Caelus had a special talent for staring impassively into the face of death, and he put it to use now, as his friend snarled "You have no idea..."
"I don't? You don't think I'm one big walking insecurity with this inside me?" He gestured to his chest vaguely... "but I choose not to think about it! "
Point awarded to Caelus, that threw his friend off track. The eye glow dimmed and Dan Heng seemed to deflate. "What do you even mean by that?" He waved a hand in exasperation. "It cannot be healthy to simply ignore a problem."
"I never said I knew what's healthy. 'Trash panda', remember?"
Dan Heng was silent for so long then, Caelus thought that would be the end of it and he'd struck out. But then he finally spoke and it came with no trace of hostility.
"You switch back and forth between your Paths like it's nothing, and it is different because they are both completely and wholly you. He pointed at Caelus as he said that.
Caelus hadn't considered it that way. It felt just as natural to him to wield the lance as it had the bat, and neither came with any physical change to his body.
"This..." Dan Heng gestured to himself, and paused as if unsure how to put his next thoughts into words, "This is someone I don't recognize. And since the battle today, I have been trying to find the person I do recognize, to find Dan Heng again...and I can't. It isn't the same at all." He turned away again as if it would make the telling easier, by not looking at his friend. Dan Heng didn't talk much about himself at the best of times; this was the most personal revelation Caelus had ever heard from him.
Dan Heng took in a deep breath and let it out slowly before continuing, "It isn't simply my current appearance, it is what the appearance represents...I have spent this entire life running from my past life as Dan Feng and the sin he committed that I don't remember and then I find out that Dan Feng is still here." He tapped his chest. "When he should have been long dead and forgotten, his memories are still part of me. And I began to wonder: what if I am nothing but Dan Feng after all, and Dan Heng is nothing but wishful thinking?"
Caelus blinked, took another sip of the IPA. There was a lot to unpack there. In the silence, Dan Heng regarded him with a level expression as if to say, 'Your fault for asking.'
Caelus came to a decision.
"Well, you're definitely thinking too much." He finished his bottle in a gulp, and dutifully tossed it in the nearby trash receptacle, resisting the urge to see what else was in there. Let someone else have the joy of discovery this time.
"Stop. Thinking. About it. At least for a little while. Tell you what," he said briskly, "Come with me to the Artisanship Commission. There are some Hexanexus puzzles I want to find."
Dan Heng scoffed. "The puzzles you claim were left by some shadowy organization as a marketing ploy? How do you know those aren't the work of the Disciples of Sanctus Medicus?"
"Well for one, the puzzles haven't tried to kill me. Also, they give out some really excellent free stuff. And none of that free stuff has been booby trapped or poisoned. C'mon," he pushed away from the railing and reached down for his carton of Boss Du's finest trash water.
Dan Heng didn't move. "The Commission is still crawling with Disciples and Abominations. It's off limits."
"'It's off limits' says the guy who didn't hesitate to leap into the fragmentum back in Belobog. We can do them a favor by clearing out some of those Abominations! Look, whether you want to come along or not, I'm going and I know you'll feel really, really bad if I get attacked because no one was watching my back while I was distracted by a puzzle." He gave Dan Heng his most innocent grin.
Dan Heng sighed in resignation and pulled a bottle out of the carton tucked under Caelus's arm. "All right. Let's go."
Despite several detours to avoid Cloud Knight sentries, Caelus managed to locate and solve a couple of puzzles, repair a damaged cycrane and steal its package, commit wanton violence upon several Abundance Abominations, and down a couple more bottles of the IPA. By now, the two had worked their way deep into the Artisanship Commission.
Words between them had been sparse. Caelus had hoped he could keep Dan Heng talking. Not that he expected him to pour his heart out, just talk about anything at all...but that was difficult enough under normal circumstances, to say nothing of today. It seemed he had opened up as far as he was willing to and that was going to be it. So, next best thing: find something to distract his friend's mind completely.
It was full dark now, and they found themselves in an area relatively free of enemies. Caelus's palm itched where it gripped his bat, and he ached to destroy something. Maybe...he lined up his aim on one of the large pieces of pottery that served as trash cans on the Luofu. No, not "cans": to think of them as trash cans would be an insult to every shiny piece of metallic art he had met in Belobog.
A swing, and the imposter disintegrated into a heap of clay shards, and uninteresting refuse.
That had felt good, though.
Dan Heng glared at him. "Purging Abominations is not the same thing as willful destruction of property."
Caelus grinned, took aim at another clay imposter and glanced back with raised eyebrows, daring Dan Heng to stop him.
Dan Heng didn't stop him.
Admittedly, the old Dan Heng probably wouldn't have stopped him either. He'd just stand there silently, looking all judgemental and not intervene until Caelus, and probably also March, finished making fools of themselves.
That at least, was familiar and reassuring.
He proceeded to smash the vase.
Dan Heng proceeded to silently judge.
Something glittered among the shards of the vase. Caelus bent down to poke through the carnage. "Ooh, Protein Rice!" He stood and pocketed the half-empty package.
"Did you ever consider why that may have been thrown away?" Dan Heng turned up his nose.
"Relax! I'm not going to eat it. We can use it to bait a Trotter. There was one around here earlier, but I couldn't catch it...Now, where did I see it...?"
"It smells rancid!" Dan Heng's voice was raised as much as Caelus had ever heard it.
"Your point?" Caelus opted for innocently oblivious and turned away, picking a direction at random and knowing his friend had no choice but to follow.
"This isn't going to solve anything." Dan Heng leaned one shoulder against a wall, arms crossed. He had a bottle in hand - their last one by now, though Caelus wasn't sure how many each of them had actually drunk. He thought he might have had roughly two to every single bottle Dan Heng had finished off. It didn't get any better tasting the more he had consumed, but he couldn't really be bothered to care right now. He'd just smashed a little Golden Toad Ingenium and, considering they seemed to travel in groups, was waiting for its buddies to show up.
"No, but it sure is relaxing!" At that moment, the expected reinforcements bounced around the corner of the building ahead and spotted them. He sent the second Toad flying across the courtyard and head-on into the side of a shipping container. A third soon followed.
"Taste the wrath of Gallactic Baseballer and his trusty sidekick, Smashy McSmasherton!" He swung the bat around in his grip and up to his shoulder, striking a pose as if March and her camera were there to see it.
Dan Heng nearly choked on his next swallow of IPA, "...What?!"
"What, 'what'? You're not the only one who gets to name their weapon! My bat is now known as 'Smashy McSmasherton'. The lance needs a name too..." he lowered his bat and tapped the end against his chin for a moment "...oh! Bernie! The flaming lance will be Bernie!"
"...Those names are...demeaning. And utterly stupid."
"I know! Laugh, Dan Heng! C'mon, at least crack a smile! You'll never relax like this, have some fun!" He swung his bat back down to his side, pointing the tip outward just a little bit, in readiness to swing again. An Abundance Sprite Hound had just ambled into view father down the courtyard but hadn't spotted them yet.
"You're also drunk," Dan Hen noted as he took another pull from his own bottle.
"Mmm...I don't think so." Caelus brought the bat up and readied his stance as the Hound caught sight of them and charged forward.
"This brew is not intended for short-life species. You will feel terrible in the morning."
"Something else to not think about right now!" He grinned again and braced himself.
"Farewell Hit!" the swing connected soundly and left the Hound staggering backward a few steps, shaking its head. Caelus followed up with a wild swing and a yell, "HOME RUN!" and that was the end of the Hound.
"If you don't keep your voice down, you'll draw every Abomination on the Loufu to us," yet Dan Heng still leaned against the side of the building, drinking half-heartedly and not at all inclined to summon his own weapon and join in the fun.
"So what? You've never been afraid of a fight! Until now, apparently."
Dan Heng stilled, bottle almost to his lips, "What do you mean by that?" His voice had gone low, with an edge of warning.
"I mean, we're supposed to be having fun! Join in and smash some Abundance Sprites!"
Tone still with an edge, Dan Heng leaned toward Caelus, "I do not wish to use the powers of the High Elder for such frivolity..."
"Then don't! Just pull out Cloud Piercer and slash them like you usually do!" It had been strange today, not having Dan Heng at his side fighting in close combat like he was used to. He'd directed water dragons and thrown Cloud Piercer with deadly accuracy, but from a distance, not unlike the distance he was keeping tonight.
"Cloud Piercer..." Dan Heng's voice sounded oddly strangled for a moment, "...once belonged to Dan Feng, and it does not behave the way I am used to when I am...like this." He finished, all inflection gone from his voice by the end.
Caelus knew he had touched a raw nerve. Sweeping aside any regret, he pushed on. "And you're having trouble changing back. That's my point...I think you're trying too hard. Maybe if you stop thinking about it and just let loose a little, maybe POOF!" Caelus gestured at his own head, "...the horns and the long hair and the glowy eyes will just disappear!"
Dan Heng stared at him, a myriad of tiny facial movements belying an inner battle. One in which he was obviously trying to maintain his precarious patience with Caelus.
"As I have said, this is not simply about my appearance...this is about -"
"Finding yourself. Yeah, yeah I heard you the first time. I still think you're trying too hard. It's obvious to me you're just boring old stuffy Dan Heng." Caelus knew he was pushing it, his friend's emotions must be frayed and raw and his temper hanging by a thread...but Caelus wasn't afraid of him. Not by a long shot.
"C'mon, we're not done yet. Let's find that Trotter!" After a moment, Dan Heng dutifully followed.
"Fooouuunnnd it!"
Aaannnd, promptly lost it. Because of course, Trotters don't just wait around to give you their treasures, and they don't like loud noises, and they don't like baseball bats being swung at them. Caelus couldn't imagine why his aim was so off, it wasn't like the world around him was tilting just a little, of course not...but Dan Heng could have at least sent a water dragon to catch it. And since he didn't, Caelus wasn't about to share the treasure when he finally did trap the little beast.
He turned to inform Dan Heng of that fact, only to see his friend's eyes widen suddenly as he yelled, "Duck!"
Which of course Caelus would NOT do. Now that he walked the Path of Preservation as easily as he did the Path of Destruction, he immediately threw a shield up in front of both of them, even as he turned swiftly to engage whatever monster Dan Heng had spotted. The shield came just in time, as the big red Aurumaton Gatekeeper in the shipping container beside them flickered to life and swung its, well whatever that weird arm extension was...at Caelus's head.
The shield wouldn't be enough protection on its own, especially now that the Gatekeeper was calling in its little fishy friends. Caelus did duck when a water dragon, smaller than those Dan Heng had summoned against Phantylia but no less impressive, swept over his head and impacted the Gatekeeper. The Gatekeeper spluttered, staggered, paused, then short-circuited in a burst of sparks and acrid smoke.
Caelus, bat in hand, made short work of the Illumination Dragonfish Ingenium before they could gang up on him, then proceeded to smash apart the "head" of the Gatekeeper for good measure before turning back to Dan Heng with a grin.
"Well, that might not have been Cloud Piercer, but it was still pretty awesome!" Caelus tried to high five him, but Dan Heng pointedly ignored the gesture, gracing him with a glare instead.
Thinking it better to change the subject this time, Caelus poked with his foot at the shattered remains of one of the Dragonfish. "Too bad about the fish. March though it would be neat to have one swimming around the ceiling of the Express. It would go pretty nicely with that whale, huh? I wanted to see if there were any for sale around here that aren't as, you know...murderous."
It took Dan Heng a moment to form words, as though he had to start and stop several times, and it was fascinating to Caelus how many different expressions seemed to flit across his face in that short span of time, though he finally settled on his usual neutrality. "That Ingenium represents a species of freshwater fish. It would never survive in the same environment as a whale."
Now it was Caelus' turn to be speechless. Dan Heng was just not making this easy on him.
"Okay, back to Trotter-hunting for you, c'mon..." He turned away from Dan Heng and continued forward, turning a corner past the row of shipping containers.
"Puzzle!" Caelus yelled back as he approached another shiny, glowing Hexanexus. So far, the "new and improved" versions hadn't proved that much more difficult than the originals. He would have to leave a review with that shadowy organization the next time they texted him, they were going lose a lot of money giving away prizes this easily.
Just as he began turning cubes, a flash of light and movement to his left caught his attention.
"Not again!" Caelus yelped as he straightened and turned. Did no one seal the shipping containers around here? Another Gatekeeper had targeted him and was shuffling out of its box.
Dan Heng rounded the corner at that moment and again engaged the Gatekeeper with a water dragon while Caelus smashed the Dragonfish Ingenium with gusto. And again, that was all Dan Heng did, just the barest minimim to ensure the Gatekeeper didn't kill Caelus. He just wasn't having any fun at all.
In silent agreement that there were far too many Gatekeepers in such a small area, the two wandered onward.
"You know what?" Caelus batted another couple of Toad Ingenium out of their path, barely breaking stride. He'd occasionally pause to look for signs of the Trotter but no luck, they seemed to have missed their chance. "It doesn't matter to me, or the rest of the Crew, or even anyone outside the Luofu what...or who you look like. Seems the only people who care are here and you weren't planning on staying here, right?"
Caelus stopped abruptly when Dan Heng didn't answer. He swung around, and though the world swayed a little more than he expected, managed to keep his balance. His friend was rooted in place, face turned toward the sky, watching the phantom leaves of the Arbor drift and fade away around them.
"Hey! Don't tell me you want to stay here. You heard the Master Diviner, people here want to kill you!"
Dan Heng reached out to catch one of the leaves, but it faded through his hand. He kept his gaze on the dark sky. "They needed me because the current High Elder could not open the way to the Arbor. I could, because it is something Dan Feng had the power to do. What other powers or knowledge from Dan Feng do I possess that may be needed here?"
"STOP with Dan Feng already!" Before he completely knew what he was doing, Caelus had stormed back to stand in front of his friend. He had his bat in hand and planted the end against the middle of Dan Heng's chest.
"I don't know who Dan Feng was, okay?! Or what he did, and I don't care! He's not here!"
Dan Heng brushed the bat aside but didn't retreat. "You don't know anything about this! About what duties I may now have!"
Temper flaring higher, Caelus returned the bat to its former position and used it to shove Dan Heng backward roughly.
"What duties? All I know is they banished you. They don't get to call you back at their whim just 'cause they, what? Screwed up? I don't know what else they did to you, but it's got you REALLY messed up! You don't owe them anything!" He gave another hard shove on the bat to which Dan Heng responded by stepping backward with a snarl and summoning Cloud Piercer to hand.
Finally.
Caelus stayed on the offensive. "You said before I don't understand anything about this. Well, you're right, I don't! But I do know who you are!"
He matched Dan Heng's ready stance with one of his own, though still held his bat pointed forward, gesturing with it. "You're Dan Heng, you're a member of the Astral Express crew, one of the Nameless, and you're my friend! And I will pound that into your head if I need to!" He brought the bat to his shoulder, ready to follow through on his threat, and Dan Heng raised Cloud Piercer into a defensive position.
"You said you followed because you were worried. About US! Not this High Elder thing, US! And I should have said something before the battle about...about..." Caelus lowered the bat and stepped backward, suddenly feeling much too exhausted, and unsure now what he had hoped to accomplish in the first place. It definitely hadn't been coming to blows with his friend. "...About how it doesn't matter what's happened or who you used to be, or what that person did. It's not YOU. I thought it was obvious, but I should have said it anyway: you're part of our family and we need you and nothing's ever going to change that and I'm sor-"
So caught up were they in the moment, neither of them had heard the rushing footsteps closing in, until they were already surrounded and staring at a dozen finely-honed glaive blades arrayed in a circle around them.
"This is your fault, you know. If you hadn't distracted me by saying stupid things, we could have outrun the Cloud Knights."
Caelus waited.
It was concerning that Dan Heng ignored that blatant misstatement of fact.
He shifted position on the hard bench in the cell, so he could glance over at Dan Heng who was seated in the corner on the floor. They hadn't even argued over who got the bench and who got the floor. The moment the jailor had opened the cell door and directed them in, Dan Heng had gone straight to that corner and just sat there, head tilted forward and resting on drawn up knees, face obscured by his arms.
It kind of scared Caelus.
It scared him because he had expected Dan Heng to be angry with him. He had expected one of his lectures about acting foolish, or a continuation of their argument, or a request of the jailor for separate cells...anything.
But what Caelus got was nothing.
Nothing but a silent and withdrawn Dan Heng backed into a corner on the floor of a cold damp jail cell. It was like a switch had been flicked when he crossed the threshold, and nothing Caelus had said since then seemed to reach him.
"You know, your horns are...kind of beautiful." It was the truth, but not something Caelus would normally have blurted out even considering he usually lacked a verbal filter. He felt he might be just a little drunk after all.
But at least it got his friend to look up finally. However, his countenance bore an expression Caelus didn't think Dan Heng capable of: there was an old, deep pain mixed with raw fear just below the surface. Disconcerted, and unsure what else he could possibly do, Caelus plowed onward. At least Dan Heng was focused on him now, and not lost in whatever thoughts brought that expression to his face.
"Yeah...they look like stained glass. Why aren't they more solid like Bailu, er, The Healer Lady's horns?"
Dan Heng just stared at him. His friend was trembling now, or had he been all along? And though the cell was somewhat damp, Caelus didn't think it was from the chill.
"Ohh...kay. No more talking about the horns." Caelus turned back to face the barred door again, wondering if he should call for the jailor, but unsure what help that might be for his friend.
"Antlers." The voice croaked, as if from long disuse...or barely-repressed emotion.
Caelus glanced back, "Hm?"
Dan Heng cleared his throat, but it didn't really help, his voice still caught on the words, "They are antlers not horns."
"Antlers...hey, it's gonna be okay..." He heard something then, from out in the hallway. Footsteps of more than one person, and a familiar rythmic tap, in time to the steps, "I think Mr. Yang's here!"
Caelus stood and went to the door, leaning as close into the bars as he could, reaching out to wave as if it wasn't obvious where Mr. Yang and the jailor were headed. As they approached, Caelus could make out their conversation.
"The Master Diviner has requested we release these two only into the custody of a 'responsible adult,' her direct quote, 'for their own safety...'" Caelus couldn't see the jailor's face from here, but it sounded like he was actually amused. "She was not happy when she heard who the Cloud Knights arrested for disorderly conduct."
"What did they do?" Mr. Yang sounded tired and resigned and Caelus felt a pang of regret remembering he had been going full speed with the rest of them this entire time. He must be exhausted.
The jailor glanced down at paperwork as they approached, "Public drunkenness, trespassing, destruction of property to include numerous clay vases, dozens of Ingenium, and several Aurumatron Gatekeeps belonging to the Artisanship Commission, littering..."
Hey...Mr. Yang!" Caelus greeted him when the two stopped by the cell door. "I tried to bail us out but they wouldn't take my money and I really think we need to get Dan Heng out of here right now."
Mr. Yang and the jailor ignored him.
"All things considered, and in light of their part in today's important victory, " the jailor continued, "the Master Diviner has requested we release them with just a warning, provided you keep a close eye on them for the rest of the night. She would also like to remind you that her earlier warning regarding the disposition of Dan Heng still stands while General Jing Yuan remains incapacitated, and strongly suggests you all return to the Astral Express until morning."
Mr. Yang raised a hand to adjust his glasses.
"I thank you for your understanding and on behalf of the Nameless, extend our deepest apologies and promise these indiscretions will not be repeated. We will also request a full accounting of damages in order to make restitution..." At this, Mr. Yang finally glanced over at Caelus, framed in the cell door. Caelus had never seen kind and gentle Mr. Yang truly angry, but he did have a sort of disapproving or disappointed look that was nearly as bad if not worse, and it was turned on him right now. It made Caelus want to scuttle away and hide in a corner. And this, after they had just faced down Phantylia without flinching.
But then Mr. Yang glanced past him and caught sight of Dan Heng, still curled around himself on the floor in the corner. He had retreated back into silence and had not moved or even glanced up to acknowledge the arrival of the others.
Concern came immediately into Mr. Yang's stern gaze. "Dan Heng?"
There was no response, and he quickly motioned for the jailor to unlock the door.
The jailor swung open the cell door, and Caelus stepped aside as Welt moved to crouch in front of Dan Heng. The young man's posture and lack of response were very concerning.
"Dan Heng?" There was a small flich at the name, nothing more. Welt gently rested a hand on his forearm where it wrapped around his drawn-up knees and he could feel the slight tremors wracking his frame. Tremors that had nothing to do with the chill in the cell.
"How long has he been like this?" Welt asked without looking up.
"Um...pretty much since we got here. Less than an hour probably, but he was talking to me a few minutes ago." Caelus definitely sounded like he'd overindulged tonight, but the concern for his friend was still obvious in his voice.
"Dan Heng?" Welt repeated, squeezing the arm gently. To his immense relief, the young man's head lifted and he met Welt's gaze. But there was fear and too much vulnerability in his eyes, as if Dan Heng was resigned to an old and very deep-seated anguish. However, there was also recognition there, and he didn't seem to be in a full-blown panic attack. Caelus couldn't be blamed for not knowing Dan Heng would have this kind of reaction and Welt wouldn't have expected this either, given Dan Heng's usual stoic nature. That nature had probably kept him afloat since the two had been arrested.
Welt spoke quietly, just loud enough for the young man to hear. "Let's get you out of here." He squeezed the arm again. After a long moment of pure confusion, Dan Heng finally gave a small nod and uncurled himself. Welt stood, offering an outstretched hand and Dan Heng took it, pulling himself up.
Flanked by Welt and Caelus, he followed the jailor slowly, as if he didn't quite believe he could simply walk out of here with them. It was heartbreaking to witness, and Welt could only guess at the cause, though now was certainly not the time to demand an explanation.
Even intoxicated, Caelus had the sense to bracket Dan Heng between himself and Welt as they made their way toward the exit. It didn't seem as though Dan Heng was in danger of a full breakdown at the moment, but Welt wanted him as shielded as possible until they were back out in the open air.
Halfway to the exit Caelus suddenly asked, "Where's March? I kind of thought she'd plan a jailbreak if she knew we were in here."
Keeping a watchful eye on the silent Dan Heng, Welt replied "March doesn't know. She was set to regale Himeko and PomPom with the story of our grand adventures...and fell asleep about five minutes into it." Caelus laughed a little too long and loud at that, and Welt was not at all surprised that he proved to be a goofy drunk.
Not feeling in the right frame of mind for these raucous antics right now, Welt was tempted to shush Caelus. But before he could, Caelus had launched into an animated retelling of March's earlier "detective work," and Welt saw Dan Heng was actually beginning to focus on him, and no longer watching their surroundings like a hunted creature. Thank you, Caelus.
Out on the street, Welt paused to consider his two rather miserable-looking charges. He had planned to return them to the Express per Fu Xuan's wishes, but...Dan Heng was in no fit state to sleep on the Archive room floor tonight, nor did Welt think it fair to subject PomPom or Himeko to dealing with a drunk Caelus. On the instant he decided to take a room at the Petrichor Inn, in deference to Dan Heng's state of mind, and Caelus's state of intoxication.
Fu Xuan would just have to understand.
Dan Heng had more or less recovered enough by the time they reached the hotel that he was able to help Welt maneuver Caelus upstairs to the only two-bedroom suite available. The last of Caelus's boundless reserve of energy seemed to have been used up keeping Dan Heng engaged as they made their way to the hotel, and he was now on the brink of simply passing out from pure exhaustion, intoxication, or a combination of both. When they reached the main room of the suite, Welt finally spoke up.
"Drinking, I can understand although not approve of, but destruction of property?"
Caelus swayed in place where he stood. "Um...we ran out of Abominations to kill...and really, those auromatrons...aroma-trons, ar-ummm-trons...whatever they are kept attacking us first. They seriously need some reprogramming." He blinked and swallowed nervously, "Um...I don't...feel very good."
"Bathroom Caelus, if you're going to be sick," with a sigh, Welt angled him toward the correct door and pointed.
Staying within earshot of the bathroom, but refraining from hovering too close, Welt texted his change of plans to Himeko so she wouldn't worry. Dan Heng had settled himself in the armchair farthest from the lit floor lamp, with his head tipped back and eyes squeezed shut. He didn't look much better off than Caelus, although less likely to need the bathroom.
After a solid quarter hour and several flushes, Caelus stumbled out of the bathroom and Welt pointed him toward one of the two bedrooms off the main suite.
"Give me your coat, and take off your shoes." Caelus obliged, shrugging off his coat before collapsing forward across the bed, showing no interest in pulling back the covers. He toed his shoes off, and groaned into his pillow.
"How do you feel?"
"Like the stellaron's trying to claw itself outta my throat."
"Despite your attempt to poison yourself, I assure you the stellaron is stable and not in any danger of getting loose. Now, under other circumstances, I might suggest a visit to the Alchemy Commission..." He moved Caelus's shoes to the side out of the way, and hung his coat on the hook behind the door, pausing as he detected a rather unique aroma, though decided against emptying the pockets.
"...however, it's late and they are currently overwhelmed with more urgent patients from the ongoing skirmishes. Unfortunately for you, this will have be a lesson learned the hard way."
Caelus groaned again and with his face pressed into the pillow, his next words were muffled, "In case I die, tell Dan Heng I'm sorry. For everything."
"You can tell him yourself in the morning. There is a trash can on the floor by the bed if you need it. I'll be out in the other room, and the door will be ajar. Goodnight, Caelus."
Caelus managed a half-hearted thumb's up in response as Welt turned off the light and pulled the door partly closed.
"Sometimes, I think that boy has the common sense of a peanut," Welt returned to the main room and handed Dan Heng a cloth, soaked in cool water.
"And the self-preservation of one." Dan Heng gratefully pressed the cooled cloth to his forehead and groaned in relief, "I should not have let him drink that much...or at all. I'm sorry, Mr. Yang."
"Well," Welt lowered himself slowly to the sofa, "I'm certain this...escapade...wasn't your idea."
"No, "he glanced sideways at Welt, from under the edge of the cloth. "but I did not do much to stop him either."
Welt chuckled softly, "Despite what I may have implied earlier, I don't actually expect you to be Caelus' keeper. What happened?"
"I am not...coping well with this at all," he made a gesture that encompassed all of himself, "and I suppose...the idea of forgetting for just a little while was appealing. But I could not even do what Caelus expected and fight Abominations in the way I'm familiar with. Earlier today, against Phantylia, that was...instinct born of necessity, but when I stop to think...I cannot even wield Cloud Piercer in the way I'm used to."
Welt leaned back against the cushions and thought a moment. "And if I guess correctly, you also see your current appearance as a problem, so Caelus was trying to take your mind off of things. It's...not such a bad idea, really..."
The dark look Dan Heng shot his way, from under the cloud of headache and exhaustion, was enough to make Welt chuckle again.
"Getting drunk and destroying property is most definitely a bad idea, however...When was the last time you slept, or ate a complete meal? How long did you spend trying to catch up with us? How many battles did you fight before you did?
"What I'm suggesting, Dan Heng, is you need to rest. I can't guarantee that these things will be any better in the morning, but they will certainly look different, and you can approach them differently, when you're not too exhausted to think straight."
He could see Dan Heng mulling that over in his mind, and continued, "It doesn't matter that we were victorious today. Since arriving here, we have all experienced one long string of stressful and, if I may be so bold in your case, traumatic experiences." Guessing at the accuracy of the word, Welt watched Dan Heng closely as he spoke. Any other time, the young man might bristle at the implication that he was anything other than just fine. It was very telling that "traumatic" didn't bring an immediate denial.
"Do you want to talk about anything?" he asked, leaving the question deliberately vague but knowing Dan Heng would understand what he meant. But he knew the young man far too well by now; it was almost impossible to get Dan Heng to talk about anything if he didn't want to. Even so, after all this time Welt would keep asking, and keep that door open and maybe one day, Dan Heng would walk through it.
"It may help to talk, and nothing you tell me will ever go beyond us." He pressed just a little harder.
Dan Heng's eyes were closed, his head still tipped back with the cool cloth on his forehead. At Welt's words, his eyes squeezed a little tighter shut, brow wrinkling as if with an internal battle.
The silence stretched.
"I know." The response came, and it was a strangled whisper. "I know. I just...can't." After a few uneven breaths, he continued unsteadily.
"Nothing...nothing bad happened to us in the jail tonight. We were treated with all due consideration. It's...it's from before but I...don't remember enough of it yet to put into words...I can't." Dan Heng's voice had gone rougher and uneven. It was not something he would have wanted anyone to notice, so Welt let the silence linger again as his heart ached to offer some kind of comfort.
When Dan Heng's breathing had leveled out somewhat, Welt spoke again, softly, "Let me share something with you that I have never spoken of before. You don't have to do anything except listen." It wasn't something he particularly liked to talk about, and it wasn't something the rest of the crew needed to know right now, but he did trust Dan Heng's discretion.
"When I was very young, back in my home world, I...inherited...something great and terrible that I did not feel ready for. It seemed like too massive of a burden at the time, but I had friends who stood with me. Even if they could never completely and fully understand me, it was enough to know I didn't have to shoulder my burden alone."
He knew Dan Heng would grasp the point he was trying to make, but whether he could apply that concept to himself was another matter entirely. Dan Heng made no response, and if not for the gravity of their talk, he might have guessed he'd fallen asleep, but that was definitely not the case.
"Go rest, take the other bedroom. I'll be fine out here, I don't sleep much." They both knew it would be fruitless to argue sleeping arrangements. After just a moment longer, Dan Heng rose silently and took a few steps in the direction of the offered room before pausing, and turning back.
"Mr. Yang?" Welt glanced up. Dan Heng seemed oddly nervous now, but still more sure of himself than he had been earlier, when leaving the jail. "You have always treated me as an equal..." for a moment he seemed almost afraid to continue, and the uncomfortable silence returned.
"...And today's events will not change that..." Welt stated gently, wondering why something this simple would have Dan Heng so worried.
The young man gave a tentative smile, before ducking his head, and seeming to gather his courage. He raised it again and looked Welt in the eye. "What I mean...we Vidyadhara do not have families. Not in the traditional sense but...you have always made yourself available as I think a father would...and, I have never thanked you for that."
Those words rendered Welt speechless for a moment, as if all the breath had been knocked out of him. "Oh, Dan Heng..." he cleared his throat, "there is never a 'thank you' needed for that, and I'm proud to call you family."
The smile this time wasn't tentative, and Dan Heng nodded. "Goodnight then, Mr. Yang."
"Goodnight, Dan Heng."
End note: small thing: Horns vs Antlers. The game kind of uses the terms interchangeably...Maybe it's a translation thing? Anyway, that light dragon in Scalegorge looks like he has massive deer antlers to me, so I stand by the distinction :)