Afraid To Lose You

A Bad Batch One-shot

In honor of the conclusion of The Bad Batch series. This is for Tech. ❤️

In this story Tech didn't die on Eriadu, but was only severely injured in the fall and found by Hemlock who used him as one of his clone experiments. Then later, was rescued by Omega and Echo when the Bad Batch went back to Tantiss to find her and free the clones. The story starts about a week or so after they've brought them all back to Pabu.

Omega's eyes flew open. Her heart hammered in her chest, gasping short breaths as her fingers clutched at the blanket edge. For a while she stared wide-eyed at the ceiling, confused as to where she was and what was real. Then as adrenaline calmed, it all came back. She was in her room in the little house her brothers had been given on Pabu. It had been another dream, and only a dream. Pulling Lula closer against her, Omega breathed in through her nose and slowly let it out her mouth.

It had only been a little over a week since Clone Force 99 had made their escape from Tantiss, after freeing the clone prisoners there. They were back. Hemlock was gone; Tantiss was gone. She was safe, her brothers were safe, and most importantly – Tech was safe. It had been a great shock to the squad to find their lost brother alive on that horrible place. Omega could hardly believe that all those months she had been held there that she'd never realized just how close he was. Only when Omega and Echo had gone in to find Hunter, Wrecker, and Crosshair and free the clones did she accidently find out. Even though Tech had been in rough shape, forced to endure countless experiments and treatments, they had been able to get him out in time before any permanent damage was done and was recovering nicely. He was back and the family felt whole again. But if everything was good now, why did her heart still feel so heavy?

Snuggling back down under the covers, Omega closed her eyes and tried to go back to sleep. Easier said than done though as she tossed and turned restlessly until the blanket was a wad wrapped around her torso and legs. Her heart may have stopped pounding, but the haunting images of the nightmare still lingered; the painful ache inside still squeezing at her stomach.

Get control of yourself, she scolded herself. It was just a dream and all that's over and done with. Your brothers are all back together now. There's no need to feel sad anymore.

Usually she could pep talk herself through this, like she had back on Tantiss, but tonight nothing helped. With a sigh, Omega pushed the covers back and her bare feet touched the cool floor. Quietly she stepped out into the hall with several doors, behind each of which one of her brothers slept peacefully. For a moment she stared at the one nearly straight across from her own room. After she and Crosshair had escaped from Tantiss the first time, her nights had been much like this, filled with nightmares about everything and that one horrid day when they thought they'd lost Tech. And most of those times, when she woke up with heart pounding and mind racing, she would cross the hall to Hunter's room. The clone leader was always there when she needed comfort, giving her support through hugs and soothing words. Many times she would fall asleep in his bed with him and he would hold her through the night.

But this time, Omega hesitated. It wasn't so much comfort her heart ached for; it was reassurance. Reassurance that everything that had happened the last few weeks hadn't been a dream. That Hemlock really was gone, that they really were free – that Tech was really back.

Like a little mouse, Omega tiptoed down the hall until she reached another one of the doors. Very carefully, she cracked it opened. The room was dark except for the pale haze of moonlight that came through the open window, a fresh warm breeze gently blowing through. And there against the one wall, the dim light rested upon the lean figure that slept there under the blanket. Not entirely sure why, Omega slipped into the room like a silent ghost to get closer to the bed. She could now make out the angled features of the slender face, much thinner and paler then the last time she had seen it.

She'd heard Hunter say he didn't know how Tech had even survived after hearing about how little food they had given him. Because of it and everything he'd been forced to endure Tech's stomach couldn't hold much at the moment, but at least he was able to eat small bits now. The effects of the drugs and experiments were still wearing off, and even though most of the injuries from his fall had mended, the many chemicals that had been pumped into his body had definitely slowed the healing process. He couldn't stand yet without feeling nauseous and some pain still ached where bones had broken; so Tech had been confined to complete bed rest for the next week or so.

Though there was a long way to go, Omega could see the progress, and after hearing Tech spouting off one of his info dumps to Wrecker that afternoon, she was sure of it. And for the first time, Wrecker had been happy to oblige and had happily listened to the entire lecture. Hunter and Crosshair were worse than mother hens, always checking in on him, making sure he stayed put, and continued to eat little bits to keep his strength up.

For a long while Omega stood there, just staring; convincing herself that it wasn't going to suddenly fade into the shadows the why it always did in the dreams. It was still hard to take in. Finally convinced, she deciding she should try and get some sleep, and started for the door.

"Hello?" a voice said drowsily.

Omega winced inwardly. Tech still wasn't sleeping that fully yet and she should've known that even a mere presence would be enough to wake him. She turned back to see Tech carefully propping himself on one elbow. His eyes squinted as they searched the doorway, the room's dim light didn't make trying to see with poor eyesight any easier.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to wake you."

"Omega?"

"Yeah. It's me."

"What are you doing up this time of night?" Tech pushed himself to a sitting position.

"Nothing."

"I would hardly call 'nothing' a valid excuse when one is standing in another's bedroom in the middle of the night staring at them."

Omega's head ducked in embarrassment.

"So would you like to tell me the real reason?" prodded gently.

"I … I had a nightmare," she finally admitted.

There was a moment of silence, then a light scuffling as Tech's fingers searched for the goggles on the nightstand. They didn't have the features of the old pair, but Echo had made these new ones so at least he could see. Tech planned on adding his recorder later and had already thought about possible upgrades. A second more of groping, he found the goggles and slipped them on, now able to clearly see the young clone standing in the doorway, the pale light resting on her. Concern squeezed him inside when he saw the tired eyes, the puckered brows, and the much too visible tenseness of her slender figure under the loose fitting night clothes. The blond hair hung loosely down around her eyes and neck, mussed up from her restless tossing. Out of its ponytail, it was longer than he'd realized, having grown much in his absence.

"I see. Is there anything you wished me to do about it?"

A small shrug. "I don't know. It was just worse than usual."

"If I remember correctly, in circumstances such as this you normally go to Hunter."

"I know. But … this one was different."

"How so?"

"Because … because…" She bit her lip as tears stung at the back of her eyes. "Because it was about you."

Mildly surprised, Tech processed this. "I … see."

Tech remember all those times when Omega had first come to them and the way Hunter would hold the young girl whenever she cried or didn't feel good. He had read in a holonet article that closeness to someone helps comfort a child – or now it would be a young teen. But instead of Hunter this time, Omega had come here; apparently associating him with comforting the nightmare.

With less hesitation than he expected of himself, Tech carefully scooted over in the bed, moving slow not to upset his still healing body. He gestured. "Why don't you come over and sit."

Omega blinked, wondering if she had heard correctly. "A-are you sure?"

"If I did not want you to, I wouldn't have invited you."

Still a bit hesitant, Omega crawled into the space beside Tech, close enough to feel the warmth that generated from his body, but still not physically touching. She hadn't forgotten her big brother wasn't one for physical touch and still respected that. So she positioned herself with her back cradled in the bed's long pillow, tightly hugging her knees to her chest.

"So…" Tech tried to start things off when all that followed was silence, "would you … um, like to talk about it?

"I don't know," came in a small voice. "I haven't had a nightmare like this in a long time. They were bad after … after that day on Eriadu." She couldn't bring herself to say "after we thought you died". That thought was over and in the past, no need to bring it up; it was too awkward to say in front of Tech anyhow. "I couldn't stop seeing it in my dreams. Worst thing was, right after was when I was captured and taken to Tantiss. Hunter and the others had always helped me with them before, but there I didn't have anyone, so I had to manage it on my own. It took a long time before the dreams started going away." Tech still said nothing so she rambled on, a finger tracing a wrinkle on her night pants. "It's strange because, even then, I never stopped dreaming about you, or the others. But at the end of every one of them, even if it was a better dream … you would always disappear."

"I see. May I ask if this is also what transpired in your nightmare tonight?"

A tiny nod. "I dreamed about that day with the rail cars, I … watched you fall and disappear into the clouds. I tried to jump after you but suddenly I was on Tantiss again. I was running down the corridor just like I did before I found you."

Omega drew herself in tighter as the scene appeared in her mind's eye. She would never forget it; that dim experimentation room she'd run into while looking for other clones. The odd medically sterilized smell mixed with that of chemicals that enveloped her, nearly choking her lungs. The sight of the figure strapped to an experimentation table; wires running along nearly every limb of his body, connected to his temples and forehead, hooked up to dozens of monitors. So thin and pale was he that she almost hadn't recognized him at first, hair shaved to the scalp because his captors didn't want to take the time to deal with it. Since then his hair had begun to grow again, and was nearly back to what it had been. Worst was the flood of mixed emotions; shock, sudden joy, and awful horror that had threatened to drown her heart.

"Only in my dream you were awake when I found you," Omega continued. "I freed you, but when we ran out we ended up in some sort of dark room. These long black hands came out of the shadows and grabbed you and started to pull you away. I tried to run to help, but suddenly I was in some kind of cage. I kept screaming, trying so hard to get out. I couldn't do anything but watch you disappear into the darkness, and … you were gone again."

"It," Tech finally spoke, "sounds as though you are dwelling on the past."

"I've tried not to. After we found you I thought the nightmares would stop, but … they didn't. These last few days, no matter what I dream of, we always end up in that dark room after finally getting you back. And every time I try to get to you, I can never reach you. There's always something holding me back and pulling you away, and I start panicking that…"

"That what?"

Omega's chin tucked low, eyes closed. "That I might lose you again." A tear slid down her cheek.

Tech gazed on the young clone. Not only her hair, but everything about the young girl had grown. Her height, her speech, her knowledge, her character – even her love for her brothers. "There's no need to be afraid. Tantiss is gone as is all the research. There is no one looking for us anymore."

"I know. And I know I've been trained better than this, but … I can't help it." She sighed, wiping at her nose. "I guess I'm just not as strong as all of you."

The corners of Tech's thin lips turned down slightly, disapproving. "Omega, you are one of the strongest people I know."

It was appreciated, but overpowered at the moment. More tears spotted Omega's night clothes. "I lost you once; I just don't want to lose you again. I'm afraid to." Then her voice, smaller than usual, said softly, "I just ... love you so much."

Tech fell silent.

I love you – something that couldn't be answered with collected knowledge or a lengthy explanation. Logic didn't apply here; only the heart. Omega had shown him – and the whole squad – a whole new side of life. Before Clone Force 99 had found Omega that fateful day on Kemino, Tech had never known anyone with such deep emotions and feelings; two things that he had never been proficient with. But whether he understood them fully or not, he did care about their sister. That he did know. But again, knowing and showing were two different things.

Tech leaned forward, hands on lap, fingertips touching. What he was about to say didn't come easily. "May I … confide something in you?"

Omega's eyes glistened in the light as they came up. He took it and her silence as a "yes".

"We all get afraid at times. That day on Eriadu, as I shot the cable, I was … afraid."

Genuine surprise crossed her face. "You were?"

"As concealed as they may be, I do have emotions as any other living being, you know."

"I never doubted that, Tech. It's just … you never seemed afraid of anything. Even on that day as I … watched you fall."

Tech stared in deep thought at a dim corner, trying to figure out the best words word. Feelings were something the older clone processed differently. Finally he opened his mouth to speak.

"Fear is not an emotion I normally feel deeply. What comes to pass simply comes to pass, so there is no reason to fear it as it will not change the outcome. But that day, as I fell, and saw you above me … I was afraid. To die – no. To lose my squad, my … family – yes." He looked directly into the misty eyes gazing up intently at him. "To be afraid for someone shows you care; it's nothing to be ashamed of. But always remember you don't need to fear the loss. We are a family, no matter what happens, we never truly lose each other. That was how I conquered my fear." Somehow the words were coming easily now; coming from within. "I was willing to sacrifice myself so that all of you would be safe; so you could carry on. And you did, just as I had wanted you to; but you also never forgot about me, so you never truly lost me. And while I was gone, I never forgot about you, so you never left me either. It was what kept us strong during that time, because we were always together."

New tears filled the honey brown eyes, but a soft smile graced Omega's face. "I understand. Thanks."

Tech gave a light smile. The genius clone had never been one for physical touch, giving or receiving. But looking into his little sister's face brought out something from deep inside. For once the wall was removed. One hand reached across to brush a strand of hair back from Omega's face.

"Don't be afraid."

Her heart swelled. Omega had wished for this for so long. Tech wasn't speaking with words; but through that touch and the soft expression deep within his eyes. It was his way of saying "I love you". It took Omega's overwhelmed heart over the edge.

Two arms suddenly threw themselves around the startled clone's chest. "I'm so glad your back, Tech," choked out. The tears that had been kept back for far too long spilled down her cheeks.

Tech didn't stop her, for once, he actually enjoyed the close feeling. Gently, he wrapped his arms around her, and Omega melted into the hug, burying her wet face her big brother's shoulder as she poured out her soul.

His fingers brushed the hair on the back of her head. "It's alright, ad'ika. I'm here," he softly whispered. "I'm right here with you; and I'm not going anywhere." A glowing warmth filled Tech's heart. He allowed his lips to press on top of the blond locks; maybe not quite a kiss, but close enough. "I promise."

And so our Bad Batch adventures have finally come to a close. :,( And as much as we wished Tech's return, he will always live on in our hearts and imaginations. It was a great three seasons and we will miss Clone Force 99 very much.

I hope you enjoyed my little story conclusion as I'm sure we all wished it would have ended. Be sure and let me know what you think.