Written for the Quidditch League DP Don't Be Mean Comp
Title: Silencio
Team: Caerphilly Catapults
Position: Chaser 2
Prompt: "Go apologize to that tree. It has to work overtime to replace the oxygen that you waste."
Betas: Sky, Queenie
Warnings: Swearing
Word Count: 1202
'Silencio'
Severus kept his eyes on the clock as Albus droned on about the lack of activity of all of the Order's current missions. His mind was anywhere but the dusty Black family home - he let himself think of all of the agonizing second-year papers he had yet to grade and how he might want to consider trying some sort of mint infusion to make Black's tea more unappetizing to the dog. They took turns making each other tea in the mindless Order meetings; Albus thought it a nice bonding activity for them, but all it had done so far was be an ongoing torment to Severus' poor tongue who had previously only been used to tea made exactly the right way.
Now, whenever he didn't make it for them, the tea was always too watery or too hot, or too sickeningly sweet. No one seemed to care to ask the bad-tempered Potions Master how he took it, much to his displeasure.
Today Black was all smugness and smirks as he'd made their tea, especially Severus'. He seemed a little too eager to press the sloshing cup into his waiting hands and kept looking over to see if he'd finally sipped it. The dog's eagerness had already made Severus suspicious, but one sniff of its rancid odor was all it took for him to refuse to drink the tea in its entirety. He instead settled for nibbling on one of the wretched lemon biscuits that Albus so favored and was concentrating on trying to swallow the chalky dust that the biscuit had become when he heard his name mentioned in conversation.
"-Sirius and Severus are to begin said mission effective immediately and Minerva will act as their handler, getting their weekly updates and giving them any important and relevant information as it happens. Any questions?"
Severus readily dropped the dreadfully dry biscuit to his plate and coughed, "Excuse me?"
The headmaster looked at him over the top of his wiry glasses, unsurprised that he wasn't paying attention. "Severus, I was informing you and the rest of the order that I am sending you and Mr Black on a stakeout in the forbidden forest to take note of the activity of a camp of werewolves from Greyback's pack, as recently found by Emmeline," Vance sent him a smile when he glanced in her direction that he ignored, "and Sturgis, to set a foundation for further missions that may include a possible infiltration of Greyback's pack for intelligence."
Black sputtered, "Did you say weekly updates? How long do we have to be there?"
"I expect it to take about two months."
"Wha- two months? With Snivellous?" He looked absolutely outraged, as if he wasn't the worst person to be around for extended periods of time - the idiotic, impulsive, irritating dog.
All Albus had to do was stare Black down for a couple seconds and murmur some repetitive spiel about the greater good for Black to quiet down and accept his fate.
"You two will also need to use as little magic as possible to prevent the Werewolves from smelling your continuous scent-"
But Severus refused to take this lying down. "Has it not occurred to you Headmaster that I have classes to teach, other," he coughed meaningfully, glancing at his left arm, "important tasks and simply cannot drop everything for some mission like the mutt over there can?" The mutt in question let out some noise of offense.
"I have already gotten Ms. Tonks ready to replace you."
"You really want that walking disaster of a witch in charge of a potentially dangerous potions classroom?"
"Indeed. She passed your class just fine when you taught her."
"Yes but, I-" He felt like he was grasping at straws, "Are you sure sending me and the mutt together in an isolated forest where no one will be able to find his body when I inevitably kill him is the greatest idea?"
"It is the order I gave you and you will follow through," Albus said this with enough finality for Severus to bite his tongue and glare down at the half-eaten lemon biscuit on his plate.
From somewhere next to him, he heard Black mutter, "How do you know I wouldn't be the one killing you? I was a mass murderer for like twelve years."
Severus snorted loudly, "I doubt a pathetic mutt like you could do any actual damage."
"You wanna GO-"
Albus sighed. "Meeting adjourned."
They were three hours into their mission when Black finally cracked. Not any skulls or eggs, but the heavy silence that had so nicely settled over the two of them.
"What is it that you're doing?"
"Ignoring you."
Black groaned irritatingly, "I mean with your wand."
Severus was in the middle of casting protective wards around their tent and didn't even think to dignify the mutt's question with a response.
"Snivellous."
"..."
"Merlin, Snivvy, the grease in your hair is starting to drip into a puddle at your feet."
"..."
"Maybe you should be working on some nasty potion to make your hair as nice as mine…"
"..."
"-Though that might be too difficult to be possible."
When still ignored, the dog apparently decided to punch where he knew it would hurt, "I can see why Lily stopped-"
Why did Lily always have to come up with this idiot? Why couldn't he learn to leave it alone? Severus felt his hackles rising. He squeezed his wand a little tighter and tried letting his mind wander to the flowing patterns of his wand.
"-spending time with you. You're shite company and probably a shittier friend."
Severus took shaky calming breaths to try to soothe his anger and tried forcing himself to recite the steps to make a more concentrated Pepper-Up potion in his mind as he continued warding the area surrounding their tent.
"You really should work on your apologies, Snivvy. Especially to Lily."
The silence suddenly became more tense and charged.
"You should apologize to her grave for having killed her." He said, obviously trying to get a rise out of him.
I already do.
The calming breaths stopped working and he couldn't force himself to give a flying fuck about Pepper-Up in that moment. He broke, vehemently pausing in his casting but not moving his wand from its last position to not lose his progress, and growled at the sorry excuse for a human, "You should go apologize to that tree. It has to work overtime to replace the oxygen that you waste on your insolent words and thoughts that NOBODY should have to hear.
"You should apologize to anyone who interacts with you and inevitably loses brain cells. You should apologize to all of the people who think you're something worth loving for when you undoubtedly disappoint them with all the cruelty you carry within yourself."
Black's eyes darkened in fury, but he looked like he was waiting to speak.
"Of the two of us, perhaps you are the one who needs to apologize," he spat the word out like it was a curse, "more."
"YOU-" the dog started to snarl.
"Silencio." Severus exhaled, settling for having to start the casting of wards again.
Finally quiet fell over them once more.