Dragon Ball Z: the Next Generation

by The Legendary Dragon Reaper

Who would've expected that just a few changes could have such a major impact. Read as Gohan and Kai journey through life and across the universe in this exciting retelling of DBZ, with changes and surprises around every corner. Yamcha x Bulma, Raditz x Android 18, Gohan x Erasa later on. Other pairings undecided at the moment.

9. Shattered Scheme, Ginyu Force Arrives

(Normal speak)

(thoughts)

Yamcha continued flying across the skies of New Namek enjoying the perks of having his potential unlocked "Man this is totally insane, when Bulma and the others find out about this they'll never believe this! Yeah, Bulma… I still feel bad about leaving her for a whole year like that to go and train under King Kai and Scarlet with Goku, but I did it so that I could get strong enough to beat the Saiyans and to protect her and the others. Maybe Scarlet was right when she said that I should think about taking our relationship to the next level. No you know what that should wait until after we wish Piccolo and the others back.'

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Blueberry continued treating Raditz inside of the Healing Tank "You know you took one hell of a beating big guy, the way I see it you could be in for a long haul at this rate. God dammit as if we're not under enough pressure as it is, unless I can force you to come to anytime soon I'm gonna end up having my head on a pike thanks to Frieza. I guess all I can do right now is wait and keep my fingers crossed, to think my life is about to ride on whether or not I can save your ass Saiyan."

And then Raditz's eyes snapped open.

"...Oh crap."

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Frieza was waiting for Zarbon to update him on Raditz's condition "Tell me, how does Raditz fair at the moment?"

"He's been stabilized my lord, it won't be long now." Zarbon informed him.

"That is excellent news, for you at the very least."

"Yes sir." this was followed by an explosion erupting from not far away "What the- That explosion came from just down the hall!"

"So it would seem."

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Now free from the healing tank, Raditz stepped on the corpse of Blueberry "Well what the f*ck do you know, I guess the speed at which I was able to recover was more than you bargained for now wasn't it? I guess certain things work out for the best, now onto step two of Operation: That's Just Cold."

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Zarbon and Frieza were bolting their way down the hall, only for them to stop mid step at the sound of another explosion "No that had to have come from the treatment room sir!"

"Well don't just stand there, move it you imbecile!" Frieza barked.

"Of course sir." Zarbon opened the door to the Treatment Room, only to find it decimated with a massive hole in the wall, leading him to come to only one conclusion "No this just can't be happening, Raditz has escaped!"

"He what?! Don't just stand there staring at it, give chase immediately you imbecile before I lose my patience!"

"Y-Yes my lord!"

"He can't have gotten far, I don't care if you have to drag that scoundrel back here in a bloody heap! JUST FIND HIM or so help me I'll make you wish that you had never been born!

However, what neither of them had realized was that Raditz was still there hiding around a nearby corner 'Frieza is with him, good that's exactly according to plan. Honestly this is like taking candy from a baby.'

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Soon enough Raditz had made it all the way to Frieza's throne room, with all five of his stolen Dragon Balls just ripe for the taking 'Dear Lord Frieza, I regret to inform you that by the time you read this your undisputed reign will have come to a screeching halt! Also I did not enjoy my stay at Casa de Frieza. Burn in Hell, Raditz. And now it's time for me to make my move you slimy little bastard."

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Kai continued his way across the skies of Namek following the Dragon Radar "Alright looks like I'm just about there." he continued onwards a short distance until he found the Namekian village that had been slaughtered by Cui, much to his disgust, and he let out a remorseful sigh "Why do these kinds of things have to happen? My heart might be twisted for a five year old but even I can't just leave you guys out here without giving you a proper burial of some kind." he knelt down in front of the body of the elder Tsuno "Don't worry, once the Dragon Balls on Earth are restored I promise I'll do everything that I can to bring you guys back to life. Frieza's gonna get what's coming to him one way or another."

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Zarbon was frantically searching around the ship for any sign of Raditz "You arrogant little son of a- Don't think you'll get away from me, I'll rip you out into the open you one way or another! There's no way that anyone could've scampered off as fast as that, he has to be hiding somewhere nearby."

"Honestly Zarbon I feel like you're mocking me with your incompetence!" Frieza let out a loud scoff from down below.

"Lord Frieza please be patient, I'm sure that there's a perfectly-"

"Do be sure that you keep in mind that I hold you responsible for the untimely flight of our dear friend, if I were in your position then I'd be sure to track him down and be quick about it as well!"

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Raditz watched with a huge smirk plastered across his face as he watched Zarbon search for him outside "Yes that's right you fool, search all over for me and leave no stone unturned. Of course you would never think to check inside of your own ship now would you? But like a wise man once said, in life you have to keep your friends close and your enemies closer." he glanced down at the Dragon Balls "Okay good, he left all 5 Dragon Balls here with him. I hate to come off to you as ungrateful after you went to the trouble of healing my injuries for me but- Oh wait, no I really don't. The only problem right now is that I can't just waltz out the front door with all five of these Dragon Balls just tucked underneath my arm like I'm a space pizza delivery boy or something, I guess this means that I'm gonna have to get creative." he began charging a Ki blast in his right hand "Alright then, now it's time for phase two!" he leaned out of the door of the throne room "Hey genius way to look inside of your own damn ship before running off on some kind of wild goose chase!" and so he unleashed his Saturday Crush technique down the hall of the ship, destroying the engine of the ship in a fiery explosion, and then he proceeded to blast through the main window of the ship, thus making his potential escape with the Dragon Balls that much easier.

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Zarbon and Frieza started making a beeline back towards the throne room "Could you tell where his voice was coming from my lord or is it possible that-" and then they were blocked by a wall of flames.

Despite his blinding rage, Frieza was quick to catch onto Raditz's plan "No dammit he's pilfering my Dragon Balls right out from under our noses! Dammit I can only imagine how much he must be gloating right now!"

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Raditz actually had other things on his mind as he threw the Dragon Balls out of the hole in the window of the ship "I've got a lovely bunch of Dragon Balls, Do-do-do-do-do! Here they are all sitting in a bunch, doo-doo-doo! One Star, Two Star, all as big as my head! Give them a toss, a planet across, and that's how Raditz wins! Bye bye!" and then he took off out of the same hole.

By the time Frieza and Zarbon arrived it appeared that Raditz was long gone, and so were the Dragon Balls "Dammit all to hell he's gone, and that miserable ape took off with my Dragon Balls!"

"You thieving little ape!" Zarbon bolted out of the hole in the ship, only to once again find no sign of Raditz "God dammit where has he gone this time?! Frieza my lord, is it possible that he's perhaps still on the ship?"

"This is your mess you imbecile, you find him!"

"Y-Yes sir!"

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And yet again, what neither of them realized was that Raditz was already preparing to flee the scene, only underwater instead of by air 'Knowing the thought processes of people like those two they'll most likely expect me to flee by air, but you can't survive in this line of work by doing what people would expect you to do. Later bitches.' and then he started swimming away underwater.

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"ABSOLUTELY UNACCEPTABLE!" Frieza slammed his tail against the ground, creating a large crack as he tore into Zarbon "Not only did you lose Raditz but you also let my precious bounty slip through your fingers in one fell swoop! I cannot even stomach the thought that he was able to able to abscond with all five of my Dragon Balls in the twinkling of an eye just like that! I will conduct my own search of the ship's interior, you on the other hand will comb the surrounding areas for all that you're worth."

Zarbon nodded "Yes sir."

"And let me make this very clear to you, if Raditz is not at my feet within the hour then the only thing capable of calming my wrath will be your life! Understood?!"

"...Understood."

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After finishing digging the graves of the fallen Namekians, Kai continued to search for the hidden Dragon Ball, following the radar to the shore of a nearby lake "So the thing isn't inside of the houses huh, the guy that Raditz butchered must've hidden it underwater so that if anything happened to him no one would be able to track it down. Except for the lucky bastard who has this radar, but all things considered that's actually not a bad idea." he dove into the water and quickly popped out with the Dragon Ball in his hands "And that's how the Kai man gets shit done, so with my awesomeness along with Yamcha's luck that means that we've got two Dragon Balls in our corner, but Frieza still has the other five. I guess all we can do for the time being is wait for Raditz and Yamcha to get back."

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At the same time, Raditz dragged himself out of the water in a remote grassy area a fair distance away from Frieza's ship "Alright I doubt that they could have landed too far away from this point right?" he wandered around a little bit until he found the five Dragon Balls all clustered together "I guess I have to thank mother for that awesome curveball that I had inherited from her now don't I? There's only one thing that Frieza can be pitching right about now and that's a massive tantrum that's bigger than he is, not that that's saying that much. I've finally got you right where I want you don't I you arrogant little bastard?" he quickly tucked them away in a small clearing nearby "That's five for me and possibly one for the Earthlings, combine those and then all we have to do is find the one that Cui had hidden before I killed him and then we'll have all 7 of the Dragon Balls. Now I'd better go meet up with Kakarot's friends, I'd better stay under the radar and not fly around like a jackass saying-"

"I believe I can fly! I believe I can touch the sky!" Yamcha sang his way across the skies of the Planet Namek past Raditz with his Dragon Ball in hand.

"...Well I was gonna say "Come and get me Frieza" but that works too I guess. Anyway I'd better follow him back to his hideout so we can rendezvous and discuss our next plan of action against Frieza." and so he took off after Yamcha, analyzing him from afar as he did so 'Well it would seem that someone got a power up from the Grand Elder, right now he could hold his own against most of the Ginyu Force without that much of an issue. I just wish I could've gotten my own power up from him but apparently according to Namekian customs there are several levels of training that one has to go through before they can have their potential unlocked, but then again the Grand Elder said that the more you train the less there is to unlock so at this rate he can't have that much left to awaken by now. God just looking at him dancing through the air like that is making my eyes want to throw up.'

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Zarbon continued his search for Raditz and was growing more and more frustrated with each passing moment "Dammit Raditz where the hell are you? If only I had a Scouter this would be so simple, the way things are going for me right now I might as well try and hide myself under a rock or something. Honestly Raditz you're determined to be the end of me one way or another aren't you? Wait is that-" he glanced back only to see Yamcha flying in the distance carrying his Dragon Ball "No that must be just another Earthling like the two from before who rescued that whiny little Namekian brat, and am I crazy or is that a Dragon Ball that he's carrying?" and then he glanced further back and saw Raditz following Yamcha "Raditz you little shit, I've locked onto you now and you're going to rue the day you made a fool out of me!" and so he took off after the two of them.

Raditz didn't fail to notice this though "Another high power level closing in on me, that one has to be Zarbon no doubt about it. Isn't that just like him to not know when to leave well enough alone? But I guess I shouldn't complain, getting to kill two birds with one stone on the same damn day. First I steal the Dragon Balls right out from Frieza's nose and now Zarbon is bound to be so frazzled that his guard will be down, and then I can use that to my advantage!"

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"SHOOT TO THRILL!" Yamcha suddenly dropped down onto the ground in front of the cave like a boss (think Iron Man's entrance in the 2012 Avengers movie), startling Bulma into falling off of her rock "Uh, sorry about that babe."

Almost immediately Bulma bolted to her feet and tore into him "What in the name of hell is wrong with you, what are you trying to give me a heart attack?!"

"I thought we all agreed that you would stay inside the cave, I mean I know that you need the light so that you can read and all but at this rate someone is gonna spot you out here."

"Whatever, I've only been out here for about two seconds or so and- Holy crap is that what I think it is? You actually found one of the Dragon Balls?"

"Wow, you know these things are a lot bigger than the ones back on Earth. So how did it go overall?"

"You should've seen the Grand Elder, turns out he's actually pretty kickass and that's just the start of it! He did this thing where he put his hand on my head and he pulled stuff out of me I never even knew I had."

"...Huh?"

"Okay let me rephrase that, anyway are the boys still inside? I've gotta take a little trip back to the Grand Elder's."

"Well Gohan is inside meditating but Kai ran off a little while ago."

"Wait what?"

"You see another Dragon Ball popped up on the radar near where you guys said that village got attacked and then he went to go and look for it."

"Please tell me you're joking, do you have any idea what my sister will do to me if anything happens to him?"

"Well… she's dead."

"That hasn't stopped her before, and I'll have you know that I happen to like my penis where it is thank you."

"So do I." she blushed when she realized what she said "Uh-"

"Yeah you know what I think this is where this conversation should end because there's a Ki signature right on top of us and it's f*cking huge! And now it's not Kai."

"No it's not." and the Raditz dropped down in front of them "And remind me never to end up alone in a room with the two of you, seriously if I have to listen to another conversation like that then I'd rather take my chances with Frieza."

"Yeah well I'm just glad that it's you, I was so pumped from getting stronger that I didn't even notice you following me."

"Which shows a lot about your intelligence. Anyway the two of you should stay here, I've got some unfinished business to attend to." Raditz promptly turned around and prepared for another fight.

"...Anyone else smell body glitter?"

"And that would be him."

Sure enough, at that moment Zarbon dropped to the ground in front of Raditz looking as confident as ever "Well aren't you quite the interesting one Raditz, you make me look like a fool and now all you can do is just stand there. And I'm afraid that I'm not familiar with the one in the orange jumpsuit, is he a new friend that you've made since you got here is that it?"

"I guess you could say that."

"All of the pieces are beginning to fall into place."

"Yeah, the pieces of your bloody corpse about to fall to the ground in a few minutes."

"Oh yes go ahead and laugh a little bit, you have absolutely no idea how much I'm going to enjoy watching Lord Frieza put that mouth of yours through the wringer. One way or another you're going to tell us where the remaining Dragon Balls are."

"Is that really what you believe?"

"I've heard enough out of you." and so Zarbon charged forward and attacked Raditz with a spin kick.

Raditz ducked underneath the kick and then took to the air as he dodged a Ki blast and a fist aimed at his face from Zarbon.

"I've had it with you!" Zarbon blitzed behind Raditz and aimed a Ki blast at his face.

Raditz blitzed behind Zarbon and dealt him a kick to the back of the head, sending him hurtling towards the ground, and then dodging every punch and kick being thrown at him "So you were saying?"

'He's gotten a lot more limp than he was before.'

"There's no need for you to hold back for my sake you know, by all means come at me with everything you've got."

"If that's what you want then I'll gladly fulfill your last wish." and so Zarbon transformed into his beast form and charged upwards towards Raditz.

'And just like that his energy went straight through the roof, but now I'm not caught off guard or just using him to get the Dragon Balls, which means that I no longer have any use for this waste of space.' Raditz kept dodging every attack being thrown at him until he eventually saw the chance to deal Zarbon a kick straight in the eyes, blinding him and giving Raditz the chance to punch him square in the spine, damaging his armor in the process, before following up with a brutal smash attack, sending Zarbon crashing into the Namekian sea below, and then following up with a Double Sunday down into the water.

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Kai was making his way back towards the battlefield with the Dragon Ball in hand when he sensed the battle between Raditz and Zarbon "There's three huge Ki signatures coming from where I left Gohan and Bulma, one of them must be Yamcha and the other one is Raditz so the last one must be one of Frieza's goons. Must be the one with the hair, he and Raditz are really going at it, I don't have any time to waste. Kaioken!" and so he boosted his speed using the Kaioken, making a beeline back towards the cave.

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Now visibly wounded, Zarbon landed on the ground in front of Raditz, snarling like some kind of angry animal "How dare you you ignorant little bastard!"

Raditz let out a chuckle "Oh wow and here I thought the mighty Zarbon was all but invincible and yet our little scuffle appears to be taking quite the toll on you. I think it goes without saying that you won't last that much longer as you are right now."

"Is that what you believe? Well what the hell do you, snarky and comedic to the very end just like your father and just like him your power pales in comparison to mine!"

"Oh the painful irony, I thought that you of all people would have at the very least a decent enough understanding of Saiyan biology to know just how much serious trouble you're in right now. You were really foolish to treat me so carelessly knowing that our fight left me on the brink of death weren't you? It's called the Zenkai Theorem, it states that when a Saiyan recovers from the kind of damage that you dished out to me it ends up with them becoming that much more powerful than before."

Yamcha was quick to catch onto what Raditz meant "Of course that makes sense, that must be how Goku was able to get so much stronger after every battle that he lost. But that does raise the question, exactly how much more powerful is Raditz now?"

"Powerful enough to put this creten in his place."

"SILENCE!" Zarbon let out an outright snarl "You can puster all you want, a worthless piece of scum like you can come back from the brink of death hundreds of times over and not even be one tenth as mighty as I am in my present form!" and then he charged at Raditz in a rage.

"Yeah well see about that you oaf." and then Raditz proceeded to punch Zarbon so hard he left a hole in his stomach "Sorry what was that, I couldn't hear your whining over that hole that I just made in your stomach. So how does it feel to be fisted instead of doing the fisting?"

"But… Raditz… I was… just… following orders… I beg you… mercy…"

"So let me get this straight, after all of the years of being spat on and taunted by you, not to mention listening to you mock my father, do you really expect me to show you any sign of mercy?"

"Please… just give me a chance… We could… work… together… and then… we could prevail… over Frieza-"

"Yeah yeah I've heard that shtick already, now let me put this in a way you'll understand better than anyone. As a memorial to my father, I'm about to blow my load all over your insides in the best way that he knew how."

"...What the-"

"No homo." and sure enough, Raditz blasted clean through Zarbon using Bardock's patente Final Spirit Cannon, leaving Zarbon's bloody and mangled corpse to fall into the Namekian ocean where he landed "Besides, if all I had to do to defeat Frieza was team up with someone like him then what would we have to be so scared of." and then he glanced over at Yamcha "You know even if I wasn't here you could've killed him without even resorting to that red aura power up technique that you used against Dodoria."

Yamcha nodded "Yeah I know, I probably would've had to resort to Kaioken 4x to beat that guy before but now I doubt I'd need it at all."

"What is that technique anyway?"

"Oh see the Kaioken is a technique that Goku and I learned when we were training during the year after we died."

"Huh. Nice."

"Hey what's going on?" that was when Gohan came out "I was in the middle of meditating when I sensed some crazy energy coming from outside."

"You meditated throughout that entire fight?"

"I tried to make sure that I was in there as deep as I could get in case Kai came back with that Dragon Ball that he went off looking for."

"You must be talking about that Dragon Ball that Cui hid near that village that he had slaughtered earlier, he probably tucked it away to keep my from finding it in case anything happened to him so if he does get that one and combine it with the Dragon Balls that I just stole from Frieza's ship then we'll have all 7."

"Wait are you serious?"

"Yep, I'm just gonna go ahead and keep being awesome-" he was cut off when a Dragon Ball suddenly hit him on the back of the head, sending him crashing to the ground "Ow, what the hell-"

"And that would be him."

"Don't stop me now, I'm having such a good time! I'm throwing this ball! Don't stop me now mother f*ckers!" sure enough, Kai dropped down onto the scene in front of them in the same way that Iron Man did in the 2012 Avengers movie "And your brand new junior god delivers!"

"Little too much there Kai."

"Yeah I figured, I just wanted to see the looks on your faces. So now we've got two of the Dragon Balls, you're welcome."

"...Yeah I'm starting to wonder how exactly Kakarot survived on Earth with freaks like this kid running around." Raditz muttered "Anyway you three come with me, I'm taking you guys back with me to the Grand Elder's place and it's gonna take us awhile to get there so you'd better be ready."

"You can't be serious!" Bulma barked "So this was your grand plan, to ditch me in some shitty hole and leave a delicate flower like me all by myself!"

"And you further cement my point, anyway once we get the two brats to the Grand Elder we just might stand a chance against Frieza, at least once Kakarot gets here." Raditz glanced away and began pondering to himself 'Frieza's next move will most likely be to call in reinforcements to bring in a new batch of Scouters so at most it will take them a few days to get here which means that we have to find a way to settle this before then, to put our boots to his neck will only be a matter of strategy at least until Kakarot arrives.

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Frieza was quickly running out of patience "Zarbon is certainly taking his time, that must mean that he's failed me and I do hate those who fail me. At this point all I can assume are two potential options, those being that he has either fled or else been dealt with. This entire situation has become such a mess, if I had expected such incompetence from my subordinates then I would've called for the Ginyu Force much sooner. Well at least I'm making use of them one last time before their contracts expire."

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Raditz was now leading Yamcha, Gohan and Kai back towards the Grand Elder "It's gonna take us at least a few hours to get there even at full speed."

Yamcha nodded "Yeah I know but once we get there it'll totally be worth it."

"But don't get cocky or anything, we still have Frieza to deal with and I doubt this will make that much of a difference." Kai pointed out "So is this Grand Elder gonna be able to even the odds against that guy?"

"Against someone as powerful as Frieza? I doubt it but look at how much more powerful I am now and I'm not even a Saiyan like Goku or Raditz and I know that you and Gohan have way more potential than I do so if he brings out your hidden power then we're talking about at least a chance to give him a run for his money."

"But still right now aside from Frieza you're probably the strongest being on Namek at the moment."

"Well it's still worth a shot."

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One of Frieza's soldiers were quick to report to him "Lord Frieza I have important news! We've just received a transmission from the Ginyu Force, at the moment they're in the vicinity of Sector 9035YX and should be arriving on Planet Namek shortly."

Frieza nodded in approval "Excellent, at least I'll be able to rely on someone who will give me the results that I desire. But then again, seeing how I'm still intact Raditz's gambit must have reached some sort of stalemate. How infuriating must it be for our treacherous friend to come this close to his goal only to falter at the last moment. Yes indeed he may run wherever he likes but no matter how me may try to hide, however he made try to scrape, once the Ginyu Force brings their cutting edge Scouters with them Raditz won't be able to hide."

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At the same time, with their new power ups, Goku and Tien had decided to call it on their training and get some R&R (or meditation in Tien's case) before they arrived on Namek in a few days time, the two of them being unaware that with Goku's Zenkai boost that he had received from Cooler and Tien having his potential unlocked, as well as the two of them spending even a few days brutally training at 100 times normal gravity, had increased their strength to levels that were completely unprecedented, far exceeding their original normal limitations.

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Soon enough the group had arrived at the Grand Elder's home, and Gohan and Kai were escorted inside.

Yamcha was waiting outside with Raditz with his thoughts drifting with the wind, but at the same time his nervousness was increasing continuously 'As strong as Gohan and Kai will be once they get their powers boosted this whole plan might still just be wishful thinking on mine and Raditz's parts. Even as I am right now and I were to boost my Kaioken as high as I could, which at this rate is probably times 10 or so, I doubt even that would be enough at this rate. The guy is definitely a monster, I don't have to have seen him to know that. Even with me, Raditz and both of the boys at full capacity the smartest thing that we can do after we see the Grand Elder is to lay low and wait for Goku and Tien to get here and then try to come up with some kind of plan in order to fend off Frieza.'

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Inside the house, the Grand Elder placed one hand on Gohan's head and the other hand on Kai's head and felt out their dormant power "Goodness this is incredible, you both have such massive reserves of untapped strength that you have locked within. The two of are both Earthlings are you not?"

"I'm a full blooded Earthling and damn proud of it." Kai confirmed in his own way "And he's partially from a race of Donkey Kong rejects."

"...I see. Now both of you please just hold still." and so he opened the floodgates of the untapped potentials of both Gohan and Kai, causing both of their powers to spike higher than they ever had before.

Yamcha suddenly bolted into the room along with Raditz "Sorry to just barge in like this but I felt their power levels spike and-"

"Rest assured Yamcha it is quite alright, the boys both have potential so great that even my ability can do little for them at the moment-" the Grand Elder suddenly let out a cough and then tensed "Oh dear."

"What's the matter?" asked Kai.

"There are several great powers approaching Planet Namek, the sizes of which are truly formidable even compared to the likes of you warriors as you are now."

"Dammit when the wise old man is right then that usually means something bad, especially because I can sense multiple Ki signatures."

"But what does that mean?" asked Gohan "I mean that could by my dad and Tien finally reaching Planet Namek."

"No get a closer feel of it, there's at least five and they all feel evil."

"Dammit." Raditz muttered "I was such a fool, to think that Frieza would resort to summoning the Ginyu Force of all people."

"What's the big deal, who are these guys?"

"Alright think of it like this. Imagine someone as strong as I am right now, no someone even stronger than that, and now that imagine that there are five of these people. Well technically about three or so, one of them is a little bit stronger than you and the other brat used to be and the other is about three times the strength of the original three I mentioned before. Anyway they all have Scouters that can track us from halfway across the planet. Now we have to hurry and act fast or else we're as good as dead!"

"I agree that this does not bode well." Nail noted "I can sense it as well, whoever they are there are five and they're hostile."

"Exactly. Nail I know what you're probably going to say but we're going to need you for this fight if we want any chance of winning against the Ginyu Force."

"I'm sorry Raditz but you already know the answer to that, I cannot leave the side of the Grand Elder as he is right now no matter how stacked against us the odds may be-"

"Please Nail." the Grand Elder held up a hand "Your talents are better use elsewhere. Do go forth, our allies will need your help."

"But sir-"

"It's quite fine Nail. You need not worry about me, I still have a good amount of life left in these old bones."

"...So be it Grand Elder, I will obey your wishes. But first…" he glanced over "I hate to ask this of you but would one of you be willing to stay and guard the Grand Elder in my place?"

'I knew it.'

"Please, I cannot leave him unguarded."

"I'll do it." Yamcha offered "For all we know you're probably still stronger than me so at least I know that I can trust you."

"You have my thanks Yamcha." and so Nail quickly made his way out of the house and into the skies of Namek, with Raditz, Gohan and Kai following right behind him.

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Frieza watched as the 5 Ginyu Force branded pods touched down not that far away from his own ship "And there are my trump cards precisely on schedule being theatrical as always, now let the bloodshed begin. Whether it be Raditz and his friends of your group my dear Captain Ginyu, the choice is yours when the moment of truth arrives."

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Bulma glanced up from her magazine and let out a sigh "Honestly why is it that bad things have to happen to good people?" and then she suddenly got pulled off of her rock "You see this is exactly what I'm talking about! What the hell are you guys doing?!"

"No time to explain wench." Raditz promptly grabbed the two Dragon Balls and glanced over at the others "Okay good now I can take the lead now let's go!" and so he took off towards his hiding place, with Nail and the two boys following right behind him.

"Wait hang on a second, what in the name of hell are you doing?! Hey I told you idiots to hold on, seriously would one of you little shits throw me a bone for the love of god! You can't just swoop down and then take off like I'm not good enough to know what the plan is you sons of bitches! I WILL NOT BE IGNORED!" and then she registered the presence of Nail "Wait a second, either I'm crazy or that was some kind of carbon copy of Piccolo with them!"

Frieza emerged from his ship and let out a chuckle "Oh this is going to be good." (cue the Ginyu Force theme song English cover).

"Alright men, you know what to do." the Ginyu Force made their way out of their pods and landed in front of Frieza as they did their introductions and poses.

"Recoome!"

"Burter!"

"Jeice!"

"Guldo!"

"Captain Ginyu!"

"WE ARE THE GINYU FORCE!" and they did their Zarbon levels of WTF poses.

Hell even Frieza was blushing, but that died down and he let out a smirk "My my quite the entrance. Anyway well done Ginyu's, a pleasure to see you as always."

Ginyu nodded "Thank you Lord Frieza, we always aim to please our clients."

"AND BUST SOME HEADS!" Recoome bellowed.

"That too, anyway what's the mission that we have in mind this time? It's most likely going to be the last one before our contracts for you expire."

"Yes I am aware and that's actually part of the reason why I had you five in particular bring the new batch of Scouters, anyway let us get down to business. That traitor Raditz has stolen and then run off with the five Dragon Balls that I've been working ever so hard to collect over the past few days, it turns out that Zarbon and Dodoria weren't enough so now your final mission under me before your contracts expire and I kill all five of you before you can pose any sort of threat to me is to find Raditz, subdue him and then bring him to me and then we'll see if I can't persuade him to tell me where he's hidden them."

"Well if that's all you want us to do then it's as good as done already, our Scouters are already picking up on his power level. He's actually on the move not too far from here and in a hurry by the looks of it- Oh well that's odd."

"Is there something wrong?"

"No it's just that Raditz isn't travelling alone, from the look of it he has three others travelling with him all of them having power levels in the neighborhood of 20,000 or so." (keep in mind that Nail is suppressing his power level)

"Is that so? It must be those same little pests who interfered with us before, so that must mean that they actually have been working together all this time."

"And what do you want us to do with them?"

"I don't really care, you can do that if you want."

"All I needed to hear, this should be a new all time high for the show. Oh yes, and before I forget about that." he picked up a case "Here you are sir, we brought those new top of the line Scouters as you had requested."

"Good nicely done Captain, leaving on a high note."

"Now then Ginyu Force, time to assemble!" Ginyu had the others huddle up in a circle and started doing some kind of group exercise "Speed of light and strength of all, the Ginyu Force shall make them fall! We're the Northern Galaxy's strongest force, we'll beat them all and secure the course! If trouble meets us as we pass, WE'LL SHOVE OUR FISTS RIGHT UP THEIR ASS! Ginyu Force, MOVE OUT!"

'...Putting that image out of my head, knowing what Ginyu and his men are like and their so called codes, I can only assume and be prepared for the possibility that they will turn against me once their contracts are up.'

"Lord Frieza!" that was when one of his soldiers rushed up to him "We've just received a transmission from an unidentified pod, all the occupant was the phrase "I'm coming for you" and then it signed off."

"Do you have it's coordinates?"

"It's currently in the vicinity of 9025YX and should arrive on Planet Namek within an hour or so."

"...Well this is an interesting development, perhaps I can kill two birds with one stone, or rather let the two birds kill each other without having to even pick up a stone."

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Raditz was quick to sense out the situation "The Ginyu Force is on the move and they're gaining on us fast! We have to hurry, there's no time!"

"Hey Raditz." Gohan got his attention "If you don't mind me asking, what exactly are we in for with these Ginyu guys?"

"Well that depends, have you ever seen Power Rangers?"

"No."

"Ninja Turtles?"

"No."

"Sailor Moon?"

"No."

"Beetleborgs?"

"No."

"VR Troopers?"

"Samurai Syber-Squad?"

"...Tattooed Teenage Alien Fighters from Beverly Hills?"

"Oh yeah!"

"F*ck!" they touched down in front of the area where Raditz hid the Dragon Balls and he began to make a beeline for it on foot.

Unfortunately, that was when Ginyu and the others dropped down in front of him "Well what do you know, it's been a long time Raditz and it looks to me like you've grown quite a bit stronger over the years."

"Yeah hold that for a second Ginyu. SON OF A C** G***LING F*** BEAST! WHY THE F*** DOES ALL OF THIS F***ING SHIT HAPPEN TO ME?! F*** MY LIFE! ALWAYS SURROUNDED BY MISERABLE F***ING C***S LIKE THIS WORLD JUST LIKES TO BEND ME OVER AND F*** ME IN THE ASS LIKE I'M SOME SORT OF C** DUMPSTER! WELL AS FAR AS I CARE, THESE MISERABLE C***S CAN HAVE A F***ING S*****GY WITH A GODDAMN PIG!" he took a moment to catch his breath as he received horrified stares from Gohan and Kai, as well as a sort of WTF look from Nail.

"...Are you done?"

"Yeah just about."

"Okay good. Anyway let's get down to business, and no we're not singing Make A Man Out of You from that Disney movie Mulan."

"That was one time!" Jeice protested.

"Moving on, what we want is those two Dragon Balls that you and the others have there and the other five are right behind us just like them. It would seem that we made quite the score and that will please Frieza greatly, and we… will be doing our jobs so nothing personal. So anyway according to the intel that we received the idea is to collect seven of these wish granting orbs is that correct?"

Nail found himself sweating 'Raditz spoke the truth when he said that these creatures were formidable, nothing that we can't handle but still far beyond what I was expecting. The purple one in front is far more powerful than the others, I would certainly struggle with him.' and then he studied Guldo intently 'This shorter one doesn't seem like he's anywhere near the same power level as the rest of them but that does raise the question, how did someone like him get mixed in with the rest of them?'

"Now then tell me Raditz, before I take these Dragon Balls back to Lord Frieza and leave my men here to do the thing is there anything that you would like to say to me?"

Raditz shot him a smirk "As a matter of fact yes there is Ginyu. Look at your men, look back to me, now look back at your men, back to me. I am not your men, I'm flipping you off. Now look down at the ground, look back to me. Where's the Dragon Ball? It's gone, I threw it and there's not a single damn thing you can-"

"Nope. Burter."

"On it boss." Burter suddenly blitzed away and then returned with the Dragon Ball "Here you go boss."

"Thank you Burter."

"It's what I do."

"Oh come on that is so not fair!" Kai protested "Raditz chucked that son of a bitch as hard as he could!"

"Oh you can't beat my speed kid, I'm the fastest in the universe."

"That's what she said!"

"...Touche."

"Anyway we're all gonna die anyway so." Kai threw his Dragon Ball into the air and prepared to fire an Explosive Demon Wave, only for the Dragon Ball to disappear from his sight "Okay what the f*ck?"

"That would be him." Burter pointed a thumb to where Guldo was holding Four Star Dragon Ball with a smug look on his face.

"Oh."

"Dammit." Raditz muttered "I was afraid of this, it would seem that the rumors were true after all."

"What rumor, what the hell are you talking about?"

"That fat little blob, somehow he has this f*cked up ability to slow down or stop time at his own will."

"Yeah that's right." Guldo shot an even more smug look at Raditz "You see Raditz this my revenge for all of the times you used to embarrass me."

"You were the only guy in the Frieza Force weaker than I was, of course I was gonna take advantage of that." Raditz received various looks "Hey you spend a few decades in the Frieza Force and then you can ride your high horses."

"Well you didn't have to treat me like a dog and throw biscuits at me, and now you're going to be the one who rolls over and plays dead-" he got hit with a dog treat which pretty much triggered him "YOU SON OF A-"

"Alright everyone settle down." Captain Ginyu was quick to call him off "Now then, before I take these seven Dragon Balls back to Lord Frieza I think it's time for us to play everyone's favorite game. WHEEL. OF. DEATH!" and then a gigantic wheel from Wheel of Fortune suddenly appeared out of nowhere "Now for the folks viewing this from home the rules are simple, one of my men will spin the wheel and whoever it lands on he kills!"

"What the f*ck, when did you have time to set this up?" asked Kai "And where the hell did you get the cameras, and even more importantly what kind of sadistic mother f*cker with no life watches this shit?!"

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Cooler sat in his throne with a glass of wine in one hand and a bowl of popcorn in the other hand watching Wheel of Death on a gigantic flat screen TV "Honestly I love this show, but I think that when Recoome steps up we're going to be getting a new champion."

"Did we miss it?!" that was when Salza and the rest of the Armored Squadron bolted into the room.

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"Alright first contestant." Ginyu made the call.

"Oh this is gonna be good. Come on give me Raditz please give me Raditz." Guldo went first, only to land on Gohan (labeled as kid with stupid hair), much to his dismay "God dammit, respin respin respin!"

"Guldo we've been over this, no respins."

"Alright then, let's give this sucker a spin." and so Burter went next on the Wheel of Death, only to land on the Vacation spot on the wheel "F*ck!"

"Congratulations Burter, you've just one a free all expenses paid trip to the fabulous Frieza Planet 419!"

"Oh you've gotta be f*cking kidding me! No one ever goes to Frieza Planet 419, not since its species miraculously repopulated."

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"I CAN SEE THE FUTURE!"

"BULMA AND YAMCHA HAVE A KID!"

"THE REAL BUU IS INTO TENTACLE PORN!"

"CELL REACHES HIS PERFECT FORM!"

"PICCOLO, NAIL, KAMI AND DAIMAO BECOME A GUY!"

"GOHAN BECOMES A SUPER SAIYAN!"

"GOTEN AND TRUNK CAN BOTH BECOME SUPER SAIYANS BUT STILL DON'T DO CRAP!"

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"Hey think of it this way mate, it's better than having to go to Frieza Planete 420 like the last time." Jeice pointed out "Space Weed does things to a man."

Raditz let out a groan "Can we please just get this shit over with?"

"Oh yeah right, let's have a go then." Jeice promptly spun the Wheel of Death, only to end up landing on Nail (labeled as the Slug Guy) "Oh why don't you just piss off you great bloomin pinwheel!"

"Well that's just great." Burter muttered "That means that both Raditz and the loudmouth little shit go to-"

"YES IN ALL OF YOUR FACES!" Recoome promptly started gloating in triumph against the likes of Raditz and Kai "Listen up suckers because your time is coming! Soon you're going to be facing the End-All, the Be-All, the Plead-All, REEEEEEEEEECOOOOOMEuhh!"

"I swear I don't even know what's going on anymore." Gohan muttered.

"Yeah join the club." Kai let out a snort "I haven't since we got here. So what now then, do we really have to fight these Power Ranger rejects?"

"Well I think you've already seen first hand that we can't outrun any of them, for now it's best if we all stand together." Raditz told him "I'm not sure if we can actually beat them but I'd rather die than go down without so much as a fight."

"Alright gang it's time for me to head off and bring Lord Frieza our quota, try not to mess up your uniforms and be back by 0500!" Captain Ginyu then proceeded to levitate all 7 of the Dragon Balls using his telekinesis "Now if the rest of you will excuse me Lord Frieza has a date with immortality. Ciao!" and then he took off.

"Not a chance, I won't let you get away with them!" Gohan prepared to hit Ginyu with an Explosive Demon Wave.

"Chill out spike we have to focus on the here and now." Kai called him off "Besides you can't waste any of your Ki, for now let's just focus on beating the schmucks in front of us. We have to get past them before we can do anything else."

"Which reminds me brat, get over here for a second." Raditz beckoned for Gohan to come over to make up a strategy "Don't let how ridiculous Guldo looks fool you into letting down your guard, he lacks power but his psychic abilities will make him dangerous so keep on your toes with him."

Gohan nodded "Right, I understand."

"Now just out of curiosity do you have any idea as to when Kakarot is going to get here exactly?"

"Not really no, but he and Tien are on their way and they should be here soon."

"Soon isn't good enough, we need him here now. At least then the odds would be turned in our favor."

"We'll just have to hold out until they get here."

"Get ready, they're coming."

Sure enough, Recoome and Guldo were stepping up to the plate "Alright then so who's gonna go first? Hey you know what Guldo, why don't you take the honors?"

"Oh yeah right." Guldo let out a scoff "You guys just want me to clear out the runt so the big boys can play, oh yeah such an honor you ass."

Gohan quickly dropped into a combat stance 'Focus Gohan, remember the image training that you did with Kai and Yamcha back on the spaceship. Focus your Ki, internalize it and then externalize it effectively.'

"Oh screw it what the hell, this should at least be fun for a second or two I guess. Alright let's get this over with."

'Now to fire it up!' with a furious roar Gohan flared his aura, surprising the Ginyu Force members that had Scouters with them, and he burst into the air and fired a quick Masenko down at the ground.

"Yeah you wish! Time Freeze!" Guldo used his ability to stop time to get out of the way of the blast 'Lousy little bastard- Wait where the hell did he go?' he glanced around until he noticed that Gohan had made a beeline to form a sneak attack 'Okay now I see that little shit over there, looks like he got pretty far too. Okay now all I have to do is- God dammit I'm running out of breath!' he was forced to exhale, bringing his technique to an end.

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Recoome and the others were forced to dodge the blast as well "Well what the hell do you know about that, Recoome thinks that the boy has some fight in him after all."

Burter nodded "Yeah the kid has a power level of at least 20,000. Looks like these guys can raise and lower their power levels without having to transform, looks like Raditz has really learned how to pick them. No wonder Zarbon and Dodoria got wasted."

"Recoome agrees."

Raditz was just as impressed 'I knew the Namekian would be able to train him effectively but with that and the Grand Elder's power up he's worlds beyond what I had expected, I guess he is going to surpass all of us one day.'

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Gohan was having similar thoughts in comparison 'It's like I'm just getting stronger by the minute and the power up that I got from the Grand Elder sure help. Not that it's gonna do that much good, this guy is way faster than that and he's way over there now. He must've done that time stop thing that Raditz told me about, I'd better go again!' and then he started blitzing around in order to confuse Guldo as to where he was.

"God dammit will you stop doing that you little bastard! Time Freeze!" quickly getting fed up with Gohan blitzing around all over the place, Guldo unleashed his Time Freeze just in time, only to find Gohan right in front of him 'God dammit that was way too close, the kid was right on top of me!' he started running until a thought occurred to him 'Wait hold on a second, what the hell am I running for? I can take care of that little brat right now without any sort of worries or anything!' he prepared to attack Gohan with a Ki blast, only for the ground underneath him to give out, causing him to exhale which in turn cancelled his technique "Son of a bitch!"

"I've got you! Ka… Me… Ha… Me… HA!" Gohan fired a quick Kamehameha blast, only to end up missing and sending Guldo rolling away "No I was so close, I almost had him that time too!"

"Dammit! No get it together Guldo the kid caught me by surprise, yeah that's it! Now I know his moves and I'm gonna finish him off right now!'

"Now I'm gonna end this!" Gohan prepared to charge at Guldo.

"Now I'm gonna bust out my secret weapon!" and so with veins just bulging out of his entire four eyed skull, Guldo unleashed his paralysis technique.

'No what's going on? Why can't I move?'

"You see that's my paralysis spell you little shit, you won't be going anywhere if I have anything to say about it! My psychic powers are unrivaled in all of the galaxy! You stood there and mocked me, the entire galaxy stood there and mocked me! But now you find yourself another slave to my whim just like everyone else who makes fun of me!" he proceeded to us his telekinesis to assault Gohan with a barrage of pebbles, and then proceeded to prepare to unleash his Guldo Special, as in a finely sharpened tree trunk skewer "Feel the earth fall out from under you, feel your world shatter as your life is about to come to an end! As I.. AM… YOUR…"

"Annoying talking head." and then Kai proceeded to catch Guldo off guard, allowing Gohan the chance to move out of the way before he could get skewered.

Guldo was left stunned beyond belief as his head just rolled right off of his body, which then fell to the ground "Dammit… you little brat… that wasn't fair… this was… supposed to be a fight… between me and the other runt… just me and him…"

"For the record toad face you guys were the ones who set up those rules, that doesn't mean that I agreed to follow them. All is fair in war big guy, that's something you guys should understand all too well."

"Never would I have guessed… this is the way that I would end up going down… not in a million years… killed by some… cocky little brat… this whole thing really is… way too embarrassing…"

"Yeah well you don't have to worry about that for long." and so Kai proceeded to fire a quick Masenko at Guldo, obliterating him on the spot, leaving only his headless corpse behind as a result.

Gohan lowered himself back to the ground "Thanks for saving me like that Kai, you really pulled my butt out of the fire."

"Yeah well you shouldn't have let down your guard like that, what would Piccolo say if he were here? Anyway pull yourself together Spike, this isn't over and we're not gonna get luck a second time."

"Well I still feel a little bit sorry for those guys, they just lost their teammate. They must be devastated."

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(Meanwhile, the exact opposite of what Gohan is thinking)

Jeice took the chance to start up a conversation about a certain topic "So when was the last time either of you guys had to… you know?"

"3 weeks." was all Recoome said.

"Bloody hell man 3 weeks?"

"3 weeks is what Recoome said."

"I did it on the trip here." Burter commented.

"Recoome didn't even have enough room in his pod."

"Yeah well- Hey hold on a second, is that Guldo over there? Is he dead?"

"How tragic."

"...Not telling the captain 123 not it!"

"Not it!"

"Not it- Oh son of a wanker." Jeice grumbled.

"Yeah yeah let's get this over with." Kai promptly shut them up "Oh and for the record you guys, I haven't had to, you know, in about six months."

"Bloody hell man how do you survive?!"

"Pure awesomeness." he flexed in the style of poses that they would know very well "And unlike the rest of them I know how to communicate with you guys."

"...I think we found an enemy that we actually like."

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What none of them knew was that another pod was about to close in on Planet Namek, one figure inside of it with one train of thought on his mind 'Soon, very soon, everyone will grovel at my feet. Yes even you Frieza, at long last the prince is about to reclaim his throne.'

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As a new evil closes in on the Planet Namek, and with Goku and Tien still nowhere in sight, already waiting on the surface of Planet Namek is an evil unlike any other in the form of Frieza, the most ruthless tyrant the universe has ever known. Elsewhere, Gohan, Kai, Raditz and Nail are preparing for the fight of their lives. Can they withstand the onslaught of the likes of Burter, Jeice and Recoome? The struggle against these fearsome foes continues next time on Dragon Ball Z: the Next Generation!

A/N:

And with this chapter we get into the real meat of the Planet Namek saga (before the battle with Frieza), the Ginyu Force. Right off of the bat, in case it wasn't clear I used A LOT of references to TFS in this (Wheel of Death, Guldo and the dog treats, Recoome's personality, Recoome's referring to himself in the third person, etc, and that's just the Ginyu Force stuff). How the hell could I not, as some guy in the comments once said, the Ginyu Force is the only group of characters that TFS didn't change the personalities of (with the exception Recoome but that might just be my opinion), simply because there was absolutely no need for them to. Go ahead, tell me that I'm wrong and then feed that opinion to Vegeta. I stand by it. Oh and by the way, I checked it out and Tattooed Teenage Alien Fighters from Beverly Hills is a real show.

I had Yamcha stay behind with the Grand Elder in place of Nail in order to let Nail show off his skills against the likes of the Ginyu Force, which also means that Yamcha will be there with the Grand Elder when Frieza arrives, and as a result he will be fighting Frieza in Nail's place. I'm doing this for three reasons: First of all, it's pretty much inspired by the Yamcha based what if scenarios from the Dragon Ball game Ultimate Butouden, which I feel were basically Yamcha torture porns on some level. Plus it gives Yamcha the chance to show off what he can do against someone like Frieza now that his potential has been unlocked. The second reason is for the sake of Nail. I really like Nail as a character, especially after watching DBZ Abridged. In at least the rough draft of my plans I plan to keep Nail around until at least the Cell Saga. I might give him a power up at some point, nothing guaranteed just yet, but at the very least he'll be around. Third of all, with Yamcha already having a power level rivally ⅗ of the Ginyu Force I didn't want to make it a slaughter fest.

Also, in case it wasn't clear here's the lineup for the Ginyu Force fight:

Gohan vs Guldo

Kai vs Recoome

At least that's the idea for now, but that'll be out the window with another surprise that I have in mind for this arc, something for which Raditz has been filling a great void ever since the group arrived on Namek to begin with. It'll also lead to another divergence from canon that I have in mind when Vegeta finally makes his grand return, although I'm not quite sure how to go about that so I would really appreciate it if you guys would give me some ideas. Also, keep in mind what Ginyu said about their contracts being about to expire. That will be VERY important next chapter.

Power levels:

Gohan: 6,000

Gohan (Potential Unlocked, calm): 20,000

Kai: 5,500

Kai (Potential Unlocked): 25,000

Yamcha: 48,000

Nail: 75,000

Raditz: 55,000

Zarbon: 22,000

Zarbon (transformed): 28,000

Guldo: 5,000

Recoome: 45,000

Burter: 43,000

Jeice: 42,000