Dragon Ball Z: the Next Generation

by The Legendary Dragon Reaper

Who would've expected that just a few changes could have such a major impact. Read as Gohan and Kai journey through life and across the universe in this exciting retelling of DBZ, with changes and surprises around every corner. Yamcha x Bulma, Raditz x Android 18, Gohan x Erasa later on. Other pairings undecided at the moment.

28. Cell Games: Act I

xSonallyGirl129x: Thanks, I'm glad to see you're enjoying the arc so far. I always do appreciate someone who loves TFS just as much as I do, and 16's backstory was just too good to pass up, so I decided to have Goku see it since he never did in canon or in TFS. Also, the references Kai was making last chapter were actually to the Cell Vs series TFS made, at least the first few videos in that series (Cell vs Yusuke, Cell vs Yami Yugi, and Cell vs Ken & Ryu). Cooler and Scarlet both have a lot of potential in this story, even if one of them is dead for good. Yamcha's Wolf Fang Saber was something I came up with for a fic idea awhile back that I had scrapped, so I decided to make some use of it. I'm glad you enjoyed last chapter, and I hope you continue to enjoy this story.

Vukk: I did think about the possibility of both Gohan and Future Gohan having their potential unlocked, but truth be told I thought that would make them too overpowered, and I thought that would end up taking away from Gohan's character arc. As for power levels, I know that they don't really have any meaning, but I thought it would be fun to keep doing them. Vegito1089 has great power level lists on YouTube, although with the exception of his lists for Super.

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"A challenge from a monster. A promise from a hero. And one ring in which the two of them will decide it all. Join us as all of it comes together, at the #CellGames only on ZTV! With our very own boy Jimmy Firecracker live on site, as the mighty Mr Satan takes on the sinister Cell in a no holds barred fight for the fate of the world! Will it be humanity's last stand, or will the devil get his due?! Find out on the day of reckoning at the Cell Games, presented by Hetap!"

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Yes, as you can tell from the advertisement above, the day of fate had come at last, and only hours were left before the Cell Games began.

Goku got himself dressed and ready for action, and he started singing a little tune to himself as he made his way out of the house "Got my wristbands on and my boots are tied, gonna get my friends and fight a bug guy, doo doo-doo, today is fighting day."

"Goku wait!" Chichi suddenly rushed out and caught up to him before he left "Goku, let me just say something."

"Okay."

"Look… You've already died once. I can take that. I can make peace with that. You're a fighter and to be honest, it's why I fell in love with you. But Gohan? Not Gohan. Not our baby boy, so please just promise me you guys will come back safe and Gohan is just watching from the sidelines."

"Chichi… We'll both make it back, I promise." he pulled her into a gentle hug and gave her a light kiss on the lips "If all goes according to plan, Gohan won't have to fight. I've gotta go, but I promise I'll see you later." and then he disappeared with Instant Transmission.

"Goku…"

"You know if Gohan dies, that means the world is doomed anyway, so what the hell will it matter then?"

Chichi let out a shriek and whipped around to find Kai leaning against a tree a short distance away from the house "Don't sneak up on a woman like that, you scared the ever loving daylight out of me!"

"I just wanted to see your reaction, I knew you'd get all riled up, especially considering you're so against telling anyone about your condition."

"You mean… You know?"

"I can sense it from you with my Ki sense, I heard you vomiting back at Kame House for like an hour and a half, and I found all three of your tests in the trash."

"Oh."

"So you haven't told him have you?"

"Of course not, not with everything that's been happening."

"Figures. Well at least he's got some extra reason for coming back alive, and I can keep my mouth shut when I want to, so don't worry about that. Anyway I'm heading over to the arena so I can see if there are any other morons who want to challenge Cell, over the last few days I've seen some homeless guy who exploded half of Cell's body and ate a few of his arms, a dude who tried to use a magical notebook given to him by a death god in order to give Cell a hear attack, what I think was an actual Pokemon trainer, and some bald dude in a cape and a blonde cyborg that got bitch slapped into a mountain. Well, see ya around Mother of the Year." and so he promptly blasted off towards the Cell Games arena.

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Meanwhile, at the Lookout…

Goku materialized on the grounds of the Lookout along with everyone else "Hey guys, looks like everyone is ready to go. Wait, where are Gohan and Cooler? I thought I sensed them with you guys a little while ago."

"You did, but Cooler didn't want to wait for the tournament to begin and informed us that he would go ahead on his own." Nail told him "Gohan said that he wanted to clear his head and took off early this morning."

"Makes sense, he'd probably want to get a first crack at Cell or something, or maybe just scope out the situation." Goku glanced in between the others and noticed the grim expression's on their faces "Hey come on you guys, what's with all of the long faces? You can't tell me all of you are really that nervous?"

"It's not that… Father, there's something that we have to tell you before we go into this."

"What is it?"

"You know how we asked Dende to modify the Dragon Balls so that we could bring multiple people back to life with just one wish?"

"Yeah?"

"He was able to do it, but it turns out that by doing so, it means it won't work on anyone that the Dragon Balls have already resurrected once before."

"Oh. I see."

Dende bowed his head "I'm very sorry, I should've thought to mention that right at the beginning to all of you."

"...Hey come on Dende, there's no need for you to beat yourself up about this. We're going to be alright as long as none of us end up dying."

"You realize that's a lot easier said than done Kakarot, we're talking about Cell here, not some random thug off the street." Raditz pointed out.

"Hey take it easy bro, we'll be just fine, you'll see. Now come on, we'd better get going. It's almost time for the tournament to start."

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Soon enough, Goku and the others (Gohan, Future Gohan, Piccolo, Raditz, Nail) were flying towards the Cell Games arena at full speed 'I hope you're ready Cell, I've got a big surprise in store for you.'

"Hey dad, check it out!" Gohan pointed towards two figures in front of them "Isn't that Krillin and Upa up there?"

"Yeah you're right, it is them!"

Sure enough, Krillin and Upa were hovering in front of them "We both know that even with these power ups from Cooler's guys, we won't stand a chance against Cell, but we figured that even if we can't fight we might as well lend some moral support."

"Great, thanks you guys. I think we'll take it. We'd better get moving though, we've only got an hour until Cell's tournament starts. Plus I don't want anyone getting a swing at Cell before I get to."

"Oh yeah sure, like anyone else would be stupid enough to show up."

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Meanwhile, with the only other people dumb enough to show up…

Jimmy Firecracker and his cameraman Larry loomed down at the Cell Games Arena from their place atop a nearby plateau "Jimmy Firecracker here live from the Cell Games, presented by HETAP, because apparently nobody else would take this job, because Jimmy Firecrack corn and he don't give a fuck! He'll take every job, he'll take any job, hell he'll even take your job! And speaking of jobs… no one else is here yet. We have 20 minutes to go until the Cell Games finally begin, and the question still remains: Will Jimmy Firecracker have to get in that ring? Does the legendary Jimmy Firecracker have to come down there and slap that perfect jawline?! Well if that is the case, then I know that our viewers can see what we're seeing in case that does turn out to be so- Wait hold that thought." he motioned for the camera to look down to see a car pulling up to the ring, and Mr Satan stepping out "It looks like Cell has been saved for the moment from the wrath of Jimmy Firecracker, as his first opponent has arrived! I'm receiving word that this is him without a doubt folks! The man, the legend, the winner of the 24th World Martial Arts Tournament, this is Mr Satan himself ready to save us all! The savior has come ladies and gentlemen!"

At this, Cell let out a sigh "You know, now I'm thinking that maybe I shouldn't have made this an open invite."

Mr Satan promptly took the opportunity to storm up to Cell, his expression way too cocky and smug for his own good "Now you listen here Cell, I've got you all figured out! You used a bunch of light shows and trick bombs to destroy all of the cities and militaries and junk, but let me tell you now that those toys won't work on me."

"This can't be happening, it just can't."

Jimmy Firecracker continued doing commentary from atop the plateau "15 minutes to go and the champ has already stepped up into the ring and started taunting his opponent, you'd better update that TV PG rating to TV MA. Wait, what do we have here now? The champ is calling us down now, let's do this! Come on Larry, what do I always say?"

Larry was quick to parrot his catchphrase "Where there's smoke, there's firecracker sir. Along with a hell of a lot of death and destruction.'

"You're goddamn right!" they stepped into the ring and held the mic up to Mr Satan "So do tell us Mr Satan, what do you have to say to your adoring public?"

Mr Satan shot them a cocky smirk "First of all, to all of the kids at home. Do not attempt to recreate the violence you are about to see."

Cell suppressed a loud snort 'Yeah, you're going to need a nearby mountain and a mop in order to do that.'

"Unless you buy the new Mr Satan action figure, on sale now in stores everywhere!"

'So homicidal minors are acceptable then?'

"With a low price of just 300 Zeni each."

Jimmy Firecracker pressed onwards "And tell the audience Mr Satan, why have you come here today?"

"Well aside from being sponsored by HETAP, Mr Satan never backs down from a challenge!"

Cell let out a sigh 'First thought, I'm pretty sure he means always instead of never. Second thought, I'd kill for a HETAP right now.'

"Not when it comes to evil! Vile! Wretched! Contemptible! Wicked! Monstrous!" he kept on going.

'Yeah, I definitely shouldn't have made this an open invite.'

"Inhuman! Dishonorable! Nefarious!"

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Meanwhile, in a forest area…

16 (now fully repaired and with a Capsule Corp logo on his armor in place of the Red Ribbon Army logo) stood in a remote forest area not far from the Cell Games arena, taking in the nature that was surrounding him 'All of this is so beautiful, and yet so many people take it for granted or just abuse it.'

"So I guess Bulma and her dad finished repairing you."

16 glanced back to see Gohan standing a short distance away from him "Affirmative. Repairs were completed yesterday."

"Good. So how is your body working now?"

"Satisfactory. My diagnostics indicate 100% functionality."

"Oh good, I'm glad to hear that." Gohan looked around the animals surrounding the two of them in the area "So you like animals and nature?"

"Affirmative. They put me more at ease."

"Yeah I know, I like animals too. All sorts of things interest me actually. I'm hoping to become a scholar someday."

"A fine goal. I am certain you will make an exemplary scholar."

"Thanks." a brief pause "I have to ask though, are you really out to kill my dad?"

"Affirmative. That is my only directive. I have no other use. As a result, I was declared defective and stored away."

"What do you mean defective?"

"I loathe conflict, and therefore I am defective as a weapon."

"That's no reason to shut you down."

"Dr Gero once stated that he created me in the image of his deceased son. But he was bold and daring, whereas I am not. A war machine that shuns war is nothing but a failure."

"Don't say that."

"It is the truth. Your power however, it is immense. It far surpasses all of your records within my system. When the Cell Games finally begin, I foresee you becoming the deciding factor in its outcome."

"Me, are you sure about that? I mean I know I train with Kai a lot, but I'm sure my dad is way stronger than me."

16 let out a small chuckle "We are not so different, you and I."

"We aren't?"

"Let us be on our way. The Cell Games will commence shortly, and it is best if we arrive as soon as possible. I also sense that Kai is travelling towards the tournament not far ahead of us."

"Yeah, we should get going. How are 16 and I alike though?'

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Meanwhile, back at the Cell Games arena…

"Baneful! Iniquitous! Excreable… Villain like you!" yeah, Mr Satan was only now finishing his tirade against Cell, not getting so much of a glance from him "Now what the hell do you have to say to that?"

Cell just let out a sigh 'Honestly, why do I have to deal with this today?'

"Oh what's the matter, Satan got your tongue?"

'Not going to question how Satanic that sounds. Are you sure about this?" he wasn't wrong.

"Speak up bug boy."

"You look like an extra from a budget porno flick, the kind where everyone gets tested afterwards, even the cameraman." it might be gross, but he's still not wrong, and it definitely hit close to home.

"Oh, well you're…"

"Did they find you in the subway? Were you homeless? Did you get your start in bum fights?"

"This is getting oddly personal…"

"Do you have any actual friends, any relationships at all that aren't about your money or your position?" it's an honest question.

"Well… I have a daughter."

"Oh that poor orphan." ouch.

"...Can we just cut to commercial?"

"Need to reevaluate every life decision you've ever made?"

Jimmy Firecracker (JF from here on) glanced up to see a white light approaching the arena from the distance "What on Earth is that?"

'That must be Cooler, so glad he saw it fit to make an appearance here. I hope he knows what he's in for.'

Sure enough, at that moment, Cooler dropped down onto the scene a few feet away from everyone else to save everyone from that awkward mess of an introduction 'So the day of truth has finally come. I know Cell is still suppressing a significant amount of power, but I still can't tell how much.'

"It would seem that a bizarre looking man has joined us, unless my eyes deceive me it's as if he fell from the sky." JF was quick to make commentary.

"Oh please." Mr Satan let out a scoff "It's just another trick."

"Could this man be intending to participate in the tournament?" JF quickly approached Cooler "I must ask sir, do you intend to take on the terrifying Perfect Cell?"

Cooler suppressed a sigh "Whether or not I take part in this tournament is still to be determined, and to any other questions you may have for me, no comment."

"...Message received violent looking gentleman."

"Please back away, I prefer some personal space."

"Very well then." JF quickly backed away "This one seems to be dangerous, I advise all people to be cautious of him."

"You are aware I can still here you."

"Oh please." Mr Satan let out a scoff "Crazy people like this one are only good for getting in the way."

'You would know.'

JF checked his watch "Alright ladies and gentlemen, in just 5 minutes with all eyes on this ring, the Cell Games to decide the fate of the world will begin! As we previously predicted, the only man able to answer the challenge is none other than Mr Satan himself! Of course that is quite a comforting thought, after all this man, the champion himself, is all of the salvation that this planet will need!" and then he looked over to see Kai touch down on the ground, soon to be followed by Gohan and Android 16 as well "And it would seem that more mysterious strangers have appeared from thin air! Where do these people keep coming from?"

"Get real." Mr Satan let out a scoff "It's obvious that they're just hiding behind rocks and waiting for the moment to make their dramatic entrances, and using cranes and wires to make it look like they're flying, similar to the practical effects we use in Skygina, Mr Satan vs the dreaded demon from the Dead Zone! Coming to theaters this August!"

"Of course, such insight as always champ!" JF made his way over to Kai and the others "Excuse me, do any of you intend to take on the terrifying Perfect Cell?"

"Get that mic the fuck out of my face before I shove it down your throat and give you a colonoscopy with your camera." was all Kai said, being extremely non-plussed.

"Message received violent child."

Cell was quick to try and goad Kai on "Answer the question Kai, do you intend to take me on today? Because I'm more than ready to throw down when you are, so come on and let's toss you through a mountain or five for old time's sake." he received no reply "The old silent treatment is it? Don't tell me you came all the way out here just to stand around and look mean. Oh wait now I get it, you took my advice. You're waiting for you know who." then he turned to 16 "And you came here to join us today as well 16, this is quite the surprise. So you actually still exist, and you're back in one piece. I definitely wasn't expecting that. Let me take a wild guess, you came here for your little murder crush." then he turned to Gohan "And the prodigal son himself, if there was one person I wasn't expecting to see here today, it was you. So tell me, do you intend to participate in the games as well, or are you just going to sit on the sidelines brooding like your BFF over there."

"If I have to fight then I will, but father is going to be more than enough to take the likes of you down." Gohan told him calmly.

"We'll just see about that." Cell glanced over in a certain direction and smirked "Ah, so the one I've been waiting for has decided to come. Excellent, now things can really get started."

"Alright you guys, if you're ready then I say we do this." sure enough, Goku dropped down onto the scene, with Future Gohan, Raditz, Krillin, Yamcha, Upa, Piccolo and Nail following right behind him.

"And just like that, our roster is finally complete. I hope this day finds you well Son Goku."

"It could be better, considering one of my friends, my own student and who knows how many innocent people died because of you."

"If for no other reason but to get you more ready for our grand battle. I see you've brought the whole gang to witness our battle as well. Raditz, Piccolo, Nail, Krillin, Yamcha, and even the prodigal son from the future as well. Welcome, I look forward to seeing what each of you have in store for us."

"You'll see soon enough Cell, count on that." Raditz glanced over and saw 16 approaching the group, with Gohan and Kai following by his side "Get a load of you 16, looks like they fixed you up pretty well."

16 nodded and gave a small smile "Indeed, I am now operating at 100% efficiency. And for some reason, I register 10 kilograms lighter."

"That sounds like a big steaming pile of foreshadowing." Kai muttered.

"I owe you my gratitude for all that you have done, for without your intervention I would not have been fixed." 16 then looked towards Goku, his gaze hardening "As for you Son Goku, I was created with the sole purpose of destroying you, a fact that you would be wise to remember."

Goku gave a simple nod, his expression filled with what looked like guilt "Yeah, I know. There's no way I'm ever going to forget that." the remorseful tone in his voice caught everyone present off guard.

"A wise decision. However, my primary objective at the moment is the defeat of Cell and ensuring he will not be able to cause any more harm."

"Yeah, good call."

Mr Satan was less than pleased at the attention the others were geting "Yeah, I get paid for every second I'm on camera, so if we could just-"

"Just a moment champ." JF made his way over to Goku and the others "Excuse me sir, are you or any of your freakish looking friends participating in the tournament today?"

"Yep, that's why we're here." Goku promptly cracked his knuckles "I was actually thinking I would take on our friend here myself first, you guys don't mind that do you?"

"Are you sure about that Father?" Future Gohan glanced over at him "I mean, is there really any need to go in there blazing right away?"

"Better to get this started right away, no offense but I doubt most of you really stand a chance against him."

"Fair enough, I guess."

"I just don't want to take any chances."

"Hey, what the hell gives you clowns the right to decide who goes first!" Mr Satan stomped towards them and shoved JF to the side, earning a "Fuck" from him "There is no way in hell I'm playing second fiddle to a bunch of gym rats with too much time on their hands!"

"And what the fuck does that make you?" Kai muttered, leaving him taken aback.

"And now I think I've seen it all, could there really some backwater yokels who don't know about yours truly, the one and only Mr Satan? Well let me get all of you up to speed, I am the World Martial Arts champion and I will be the one to defeat Cell!"

"...Holy crap, there was a tournament? You won the tournament? Well that says a lot about your strength level, that means you're stronger than almost half of the guys here! Hey Yamcha, you hearing that?"

"Why are you addressing my specifically?" Yamcha grumbled.

"Not just you, Krillin and Piccolo too. Too bad, and to think I wanted a turn too. Oh well, I guess we should just go ahead and let the champ handle it." his tone was filled with a ridiculous amount of sarcasm, so much that it almost sounded genuine.

"Are you for real right now?" asked Gohan.

"Of course I am. He's the champ, he's got this."

"...I can't tell if you're serious and that's very concerning."

"Of course I'm not being serious you sheltered fuck."

"Enough of your pratting, it's time too start." Cell promptly shut all of them up "I don't care who's up first, let's just begin already."

"Well as long as we already have rank sorted out, I'm calling first dibs." Mr Satan then stepped forward "It's time for me to teach you where you fall, at my feet to be more specific."

"Okay I can't do this, this is too painful to watch." Goku spoke up "Hey listen, if you want to go first then I won't stop you, but you should know that you're gonna get crushed."

"Would you care to repeat that?" JF was quick to round on Goku "One can only hear the chorus of agonizing groans filled to the bring with shame that seem to be spanning the globe at this very moment at the jab from this nay-sayer! Such a sad and misinformed soul with no idea whom he's addressing right now! He claims that if our champ wishes to go up against Cell then he should be prepared to get trampled like road kill, the nerve that some people have is just unbelieveable!" he was being met with a chorus of groans from people all around the world.

Kai shot a quick glance over at Gohan "Add this to the growing list of reasons why you should be glad you don't go to public school. But in all seriousness guys, if this assclown is so desperate to make himself look like an even bigger dipshit than he already does, then I say we just go right ahead and let him. If he gets killed, god I'm hoping so, we can just wish him back with the Dragon Balls."

At this, Goku let out a sigh "Yeah I guess you're right, I mean what's the use." he waved at the others and signalled the "go ahead" to them.

JF was quick to report this to the audience "Excellent, it seems here that the hecklers have done some growing up. Perhaps there's hope for the younger generation yet, it takes a man to know when to step aside and these fellows have stepped! A passin nuisance to our hero to be sure, but as the games begin Mr Satan has appeared to regain his composure."

"You got that right." Mr Satan prepared to take off his cloak "And now it's time for the champ himself to end this little freak show once and for all!"

"And we look forward to seeing such a-"

"Hope y'all ready to get down and dirty with the three hottest stars from the Y network!" that was when a pink chopper showed up on the scene.

"What do we have here, new challengers from the bitter rivals of ZTV?!"

"Oh please!" Mr Satan let out a scoff "Like we don't already have enough knuckleheads hogging my spotlight!"

Cell just pinched the bridge of his perfect nose 'Oh my god, this is worse than that fever dream when I had to deal with those Duel Monster rejects.'

"We're coming to you live from the Cell Games Arena! It's Piiza, Piroshki and Karoni, and we are-" they were cut off by Cell firing a simple Ki blast at the chopper, blowing it to hell in a second.

"Dead. They are dead. Is that parachutes I'm seeing? No wait, that actually looks more like an arm." and just like that Cell, you have the gratitude of the entire DBZ fandom.

JF was the first one to find his voice "Did… Did those people just die?"

Mr Satan let out a scoff "Don't be an idiot Jimmy, obviously that was an unarmed remote controlled cargo robot with a voice recording." he looked down at the charred corpse that landed at his feet "Not to mention they're filled with fake cadavers for added effects, I'll give them points for effort though." and he get no points for stupidity.

"Mr Satan ain't no one's fool! Go champ!"

"YEAH!" with a mighty roar, Mr Satan smashed a rock over his head.

"Here we go at long last ladies and gentlemen, seething with rage on behalf of all of those hurt by this monster, Mr Satan is at last getting his chance to show Cell why he should be fearing what's about to happen! And just now it's about to happen, the moment we've been waiting for is at last upon us! Mr Satan is ready for a smackdown! I know I've said it many times but it's worth repeating, the future of the world rests on the outcome of the battle we're about to see, but all of you be sure to take heart in the knowledge of what you're about to see. Mr Satan has been looking forward to this day with gusto! Just wait until-"

"Oh for fuck's sake!" Kai finally shut him up "The meter is running dude, either take a crap or get off the goddamn pot, my ears are bleeding." he breathed a sigh of frustration and glanced over at the others "With any luck, it's gonna be that easy to get rid of this assclown too. You all know I'm right."

"Kai, people are dying and we're just watching." Nail pointed out flatly.

"And that about sums up our lives up until this point."

Cell on the other hand, was less than impressed with Mr Satan and his brovado 'You cannot be serious, who in the hell could possibly be this stupid?'

Mr Satan was quick to get things back on track "Alright Cell, if that is your real name."

"It's actually Perfect Cell-"

"It's actually garbage, and I'll give you one guess who's taking out the trash."

"Wait you were serious, you're actually going to fight? I thought you were just the hype man for someone else."

"I AM THE HYPE!"

"Kill him!" was Kai's response, and pretty much what I believe a large majority of the DBZ fan base was thinking when they first saw this.

"Now try and get this on camera Gary, or Larry or whatever your name is." Mr Satan promptly threw off his cape and championship belt "Cause I'm gonna end this in a single blow, and it's gonna be faster than light! Dynamite Kick!" he dropped into a stance and dealt Cell a solid kick to the face, then followed up with a solid kicks.

Of course, Cell was a lot more bored than damaged 'Okay seriously, why the hell do I look like I've seen this somewhere before? Seriously, is he based on Chuck Norris? No, he's a badass, but then again that might have something to do with all of the memes about him. Bruce Lee? No, this guy looks too American. Hulk Hogan? Okay, that one does make a little bit more sense.'

"SATAN PUNCH!" Satan let a full force fist fly towards Cell, until…

"Enough." Cell promptly backhanded Mr Satan into a mountain, followed by the sound of a loud splat and him slowly sliding down the side of the mountain, leaving a blood stain from where he landed.

JF was the first one to find his voice "Ladies and gentlemen at home… If you're seeing this, then you know that Mr Satan… our beloved champion… IS DEAD!"

"Oh wow, who would've seen that coming." Kai muttered.

"And now I'm getting reports that people all over the world are rioting all over the globe, well that definitely escalated quickly."

Kai then burst out laughing "Yeah, this is a better day than I thought it would be."

Unfortunately for him, that was when Mr Satan came to "What happened?"

"Oh god dammit, he's still alive."

"Did I kill him?"

"You wish assclown."

"Did my punch destroy the ring?"

"Not even if Big Green up on the Lookout blessed you to do so."

"...Is this my blood?"

"In literally every single dream you have, yes."

"Oh good, he's alive." Goku let out a sigh.

"What part of that is good? I wanted one fucking thing today!"

"What about killing Cell?" asked Gohan.

"Would you believe me if I said this was more important?"

"I'd be shocked otherwise." Yamcha muttered.

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By this point, Mr Satan was stumbling back onto the scene, drooling like an idiot 'Oh god, if I had anything under my afro then I'm pretty sure it would be broken.'

"Mr Satan, please tell us!" JF was quick to rush over to his location "Did you die? If so, then you have officially beaten Jesus' respawn time! Can you tell us what happened out there?"

"Magnets…"

"How does that work?"

"They put magnets under the ring and the tiles and uh… When I went for my punch earlier they must've been turned on, and I went flying because they didn't like all of the iron I've got in my blood cause I eat my spinach."

"...Oh okay, that makes sense."

"Now I just need to rest up and get my barrings back, and then the real deal smackdown will begin in earnest!" he started barking out an arrogant laugh for all of the world to hear.

Cooler was particularly taken aback by what he was seeing 'How in the world did this imbecile manage to win a championship title? Maybe this planet isn't as well off as I was first led to believe.'

"Okay seriously, all non Ki users just shut up." Cell told them flatly "Now that the back of my hand is warmed up I think it's time for us to get this thing under way, so who wishes to go up against me first? I don't care who it is, as long as you can actually fight."

"Thanks for waiting for me." that was when Goku stepped into the ring "Now what do you say we get this started?"

"Getting right down to it and starting off with you then, are we? A bit out of character when you think about it. Truth be told I expected you to send in your entourage one after another so as I may leave you for our grand finale."

"I think we'll see about that. Word is that you've adopted some of our fighting styles."

"You could say that I suppose, after all imitation is the greatest form of flattery."

"That's one way of looking at it."

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Meanwhile, outside the ring…

Future Gohan and the others looked on in concern "I can't remember the last time I saw Goku like this, I mean he's so relaxed."

Yamcha nodded "Yeah I know, and that's putting it mildly. Just take a look at him, from the stance he's taken you would think this is just a regular old sparring match or something."

"This is gonna be one hell of a sparring match, he's definitely been looking forward to this for a good long while, which really goes how confident he is in his own power right now. That has to be a good sign, doesn't it?"

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In another area outside of the ring…

JF was quick to do some more Goku bashing "Ladies and gentlemen you won't believe this, it seems that the orange clad fool has entered the ring and is set to take on Perfect Cell in a one on one slaughter fest just waiting to happen!"

Mr Satan didn't waste a moment on contributing to this bashing fest "I would advise all parents to remove their children from the room immediately, and to tune back in when yours truly, the one and only Mr Satan, is ready to get back in that ring and show that trickster what for! Right after I shake off this concussion, drink some HETAP, and be sure to stretch. After all, stretching is important kids, as is HETAP."

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Back inside the ring…

Cell shot a smirk at Goku as he dropped into a stance of his own "Well then, if this is what you want then I'm more than happy to skip the hors-d'oeuvres and dive straight into the main course of this grand event."

"And now you're finally speaking my language." Goku charged into the fray, resulting in both him and Cell trading even blows, with neither one of them landing a single strike, before he then went on the offensive.

Cell blocked and dodged every strike and dealt Goku a solid fist to the face, only to be met with a kick to the face at the same time, leading to the two of them retreating to opposite sides of the ring. A brief pause, and then Cell charged at him again.

Goku leapt over Cell's attack and charged at him, only for him to reveal himself to be an afterimage when he made contact.

"Wait a second, so the afterimage can't move, how do you even-" Cell was cut off by a fist buried in his gut and a solid kick to the face sending him flying out of the ring.

"Alright guys, he ringed him out!" Yamcha pumped a fist in triumph, only for it to be cut short by the sight of Cell stopping himself in mid air "Uh… Yeah okay, that one is my B."

"The first of many I predict." Cell floated back into the ring and touched down as he shot a smirk at Goku "Clever little move there, but would you really have been satisfied with a victory via something as simple as a ringout?"

"Probably not." Goku returned the smirk in full "I don't know why you would even bother messing around. It's not like you're even fooling anybody, we all know you're way too strong to go down that easy."

"I'm just getting my kicks, as long as you're holding out on me I see no harm in getting some enjoyment from this."

"You say that like I've seen anything close to your full power yet."

"Oh trust me, you'll see what I'm capable of soon enough. I just prefer to showcase my power incrementally."

"I look forward to it."

"You just can't say no to a challenge no matter what the odds may be, that must be the Saiyan blood coursing through your veins."

"I guess you and I are a lot alike that way."

"I do enjoy a good battle."

"Like I said."

"So you did." Cell charged at him.

Goku blocked a fist, ducked under a kick and leapt over another fist, only to be met with the sheer force of Cell trying to force him out of the ring, but he crouched down and dealt Cell a solid kick to the torso, sending him hurtling into the air, and then Goku charged upwards towards him with his hands cupped at his side "Ka… Me… Ha… Me… HA!" he fired a Kamehamaeha at full speed.

Cell deflected the Kamehameha with ease, leaving it to detonate in the upper atmosphere, but this also left Cell open for Goku to deal him a fist to the spine, but he quickly retaliated with a fist to the face and a smash attack to the skull, sending him hurtling down towards the ring below them.

Goku recovered a split second before he hit the ground.

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Gohan was quick to voice his concerns to the others "What the heck is he doing? There's no way that dad is fighting like he means it, if he was then he wouldn't be this sloppy."

"That makes sense." Future Gohan muttered "It shouldn't surprise me that Father has been fooling around up to this point, he's just feeling out his opponent. Of course, if I had to guess then I would say that Cell is doing the exact same thing. I've been here for about 2 weeks and it still feels weird to say that I'm watching a fight alongside my 10 year old self. You'd better brace yourself though, I think things are about to start getting serious."

"Looks like it."

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Cell lowered himself to the ground a short distance away from Goku "Now then, as far as a warmup goes I think we've had enough for one day, wouldn't you agree."

Goku gave a short nod "Yeah, I think we have."

'He doesn't disappoint, he's definitely no stranger to a close fight. You're mountains above what the others are capable of Goku, that much is certain.'

'He packs an even bigger punch than I was expecting from him, I'd better be sure that I keep my guard up. After all, if I slip up even once then he's going to mop the floor with me. Well if you're so sure Cell, then let's get down to business already."

'There's the fire I was expecting from him, that means he's about to make his move.'

"I hope you're ready." so on that note, Goku dropped into a stance as his golden aura began surging around his body, the sheer force shaking the entire area for everyone to feel.

"Holy crap, you guys feeling that? Now that is what power is supposed to feel like, and to think he didn't even have to pump up like some roiding angsty child!"

With a mighty roar, Goku finished powering up and let out a shockwave, and when that subsided, it revealed his entire body pulsing with golden energy.

"Well okay then Goku, now that you've shown me yours it's only fair that I show you mine as well."

"Oh yeah, whip out your power Cell, let me feel it."

"Alright, now you're speaking my language." so on that note, Cell promptly started powering up himself.

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Meanwhile, with the morons…

JF was taken aback by the sheer force and power being displayed "Mr Satan, these two combatants have been engulfed in flames!"

"Oh please." Mr Satan let out a scoff "They're both wearing fire retardant clothes, that's just too obvious, as is the fact that their bodies are covered in a thin protective gel, just like with our own stuntman Morgan from Skygina. God rest his soul."

"What happened to him?"

"AIDs."

"Always be sure to wear a rubber kids."

"And don't share needles. And drink plenty of HETAP."

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Raditz and the others continued to watch the spectacle intently "Get ready you guys, from here on out they're both going to go full power." he received a side glance from Gohan, which went unnoticed."

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Cell and Goku promptly walked towards each other, staring into each other's eyes "So what now then, are you going to take a swing at me or are you just going to keep staring into my eyes like that?"

"Sorry, what was that?" Goku snapped out of his stupor "I was in the middle of staring into your eyes."

"Oh you beautiful Saiyan bastard, just punch me already why don't you?"

"Alright then, if you insist." so Goku slugged Cell square in the gut, following up with a rapid barrage of attacks that ended with Cell being sent flying across the arena.

Cell was quick to rebound and wipe the blood from his lip "Nicely done Son Goku, this is exactly the kind of battle I've been searching for. After all, what's the fun in fighting a battle if the outcome of said battle is just a foregone conclusion?"

"I can't and won't argue with you there."

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Future Gohan and the others looked on in awe at the battle unfolding before them 'I can't believe this, Father's power is unlike anything I've ever seen. It's incredible, I never thought this level of strength could be possible to attain. To think he's putting out this much at once, I guess I shouldn't be surprised considering who I'm talking about.'

Gohan wasn't in anywhere near as much awe as the others 'Why is everyone so blown away by all of this? I mean sure, it's impressive but…'

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"Let's do this!" Goku and Cell charged at each other and began trading even blows across the ring, followed by them clashing across the skies, which ended with the two of them taking part in a power struggle in mid air, and that ended with Goku kicking Cell in the torso and elbowing him in the face, and that escalated into a mid air chase between the two of them that led back down into the ring, which ended with Goku dealing Cell a solid kick to the neck that sent him hurtling towards the edge of the ring.

Cell pulled himself back to his feet, and rather than get frustrated, he simply let out a loud chuckle that turned into a full on laugh "You'd better brace yourself Goku, because you're going to have try a lot harder than that."

"Oh you don't have to worry Cell, I'll show you just how hard I can get."

"Well if we're going to get freaky, then perhaps we should make this a menage a moi?"

"...Wait what?"

"It's French, it translates to my household. Speaking of which…" on that note, Cell dropped into a stance "And speaking of academics Goku, I think it's time for us to take you straight to Perfect University. We'd say it's time to take you to school, but I think we're beyond the basics."

"Wait a second, doesn't that make it PU?"

"And we love that you got that. We are number one!"

"Hate to break it to you guys, but as much as I love that song, and seriously I listen to it like 7 times a day, RIP Stefán Karl Stefánsson by the way, I'm afraid that technique isn't going to work on me."

"Is that so?" and so the Cell clones all charged into the fray, attacking Goku all at once and forcing him on the defensive.

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Piccolo was less than impressed by what he was seeing "This has to be for shits and/ or giggles by this point, Tien's Multi Form technique essentially halves your power level with each copy you create."

"But his power level hasn't decreased in the slightest." Yamcha noted "He has the same power level now as he did when he was one person. I doubt Tien would want to hear this, but Cell has mastered that technique to a level he never even thought was possible."

"And that right there is what's wrong with your way of thinking." Kai told him flatly "Like I keep saying, limitations are only a state of mind. If you want something bad enough, you have to believe it will happen in order to make it so. How the hell do you think I surpassed you guys by like a fucking mile during the three years of training? Well that, and the fact that I had to get creative in order to compete with a Super Saiyan."

"You're a special case for a number of reasons. Anyway, at least this way we can follow the action now."

"Wait a second, were you guys having trouble?" asked Gohan.

"Yeah?"

"Well then you're gonna have a lot more when they really start getting serious."

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JF was quick to do his thing at the sight of Cell's Multi Form technique "Mr Satan, can you explain the sight of the multiplication unleashed by this malicious mutant monstrosity?"

"Well that depends Jimmy, you've ever heard of mirrors?" asked Mr Satan.

"I believe I have."

"Well there you go."

"...Oh okay, that also makes sense."

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Meanwhile, back inside the ring…

Cell and his duplicates broke off from their attack on Goku and retreated to the four corners of the arena "So how about it Goku, do you have a newfound appreciation of my power?"

"You could say that." Goku shot him a smirk "Not to bad actually."

"Oh don't worry, it gets better. I haven't even come close to unleashing my full power. But in the meantime, how about a pop quiz? Can you tell me which attack this is?" they each placed two fingers on their forehead.

"You mean the Special Beam Cannon, the move that Piccolo used to kill me before?"

"That's only the new name he gave it because it's so hard to pronounce, here's what you really call it! Makankosapo!" all four Cells fired a Special Beam Cannon from every direction.

Goku dodged the barrage by leaping into the air and flying away, with all four Cell's following him close behind "Alright, I think it's time for me to do some math!" he flew back and quickly dealt each a swift attack, sending them hurtling back towards the ground and causing them to merge back into one "We are number one, hey hey!"

Cell pulled himself back to his feet and let out a groan "You know I was hoping you would play along, maybe make four copies of yourself, but if you're just going to sink the showboat then I'm not going to bother."

"Sorry Cell but I'm here to win, and you're not going to beat me with a bunch of your stolen techniques."

"And what then Goku, are you going to beat me with your stolen techniques?"

"Wait what? I don't steal techniques!"

"Hate to break it to you Goku, actually know I don't, but you do. A lot." Kai told him dryly.

"Wait what? What about the Kamehameha?"

"That one came from Master Roshi."

"What about the Solar Flare?"

"That came from the Triclops."

"The Spirit Bomb?"

"Goku I'm pretty sure King Kai is watching the tournament, if there's one thing you can't pull it would be that."

"What about the Kaioken, I learned that on my own didn't I?"

"You learned it from King Kai, I learned it from my sister." Yamcha pointed out flatly, failing to notice Kai flinch.

"Oh yeah. Huh."

"How about we get things back on track with this: Death Saucer!" Cell unleashed Frieza's own technique in the form of a razor sharp red Ki saucer.

"Oh crap!" Goku was forced to go onto the evasive "That's Frieza's move, of course you know that one didn't end very well for him."

"Oh believe me I'm well aware, but you should also be aware that simply evading won't be enough to save you. Frieza's intellect tells me that you'll try to charge towards me and veer away at the last second."

"Not how I beat him on Namek though."

"I'm aware of that as well. However, that won't work on me!" so Cell promptly attacked him with a second Death Saucer, but when they cut through Goku he just vanished "So you're using the Afterimage technique." he cut through him again, but was met with the same result "So a double afterimage huh?"

"Yep." Goku appeared a few feet away from him "Seriously though, using other people's moves isn't the way for you to beat me."

"I suppose you're right, I should finish you with something unique. You're about to see that soon enough though, so don't worry." with his golden aura flaring, he cupped his hands at his side and began gathering Ki in his palms "Ka… Me…"

'Yeah, I probably should've seen this coming. Dammit Cell don't do it, firing a blast like that from here could rip the entire planet apart!"

"Ha… Me… HAAAAA!" Cell promptly fired a full power Kamehameha.

'Yeah, I should probably move. Hey Cell, if you want me then come and get me!" Goku quickly took to the skies to lure the blast away from everone else, but he used Instant Transmission to escape right before the blast struck him, not that anyone noticed.

"Wow, to think it's actually over. After everything that's happened, I killed him using his own technique. Isn't that a kick in the-" he was silenced by a kick to the back of the head that nearly blew him clean out of the arena, but he managed to rebound before that happened "Okay first of all, that was just rude. Second of all, that blast should've hit you square on. How did you manage to deflect it?"

"To be honest I actually didn't."

"Oh yes, that ability you have to pop out of one place and into another as if by magic, quite the interesting technique."

"It's called Instant Transmission, it's pretty handy really if you know how to use it properly."

"You don't say. I can see that this technique is going to be a nuisance."

"Let me ask you something before we keep going, if I hadn't flown upwards to redirect that blast then would you have still fired anyway, even if it meant blowing apart the planet?"

"That possibility does exist, but I also knew you had no choice but to take to the air."

"So that's it, I bet you think you're pretty clever don't you?"

"I think you're failing to understand Goku, whether or not this planet ends up getting destroyed means absolutely nothing to me. Sure things might get a bit dull, but so be it!" he suddenly blitzed behind Goku and elbowed him in the face, resulting in the two of them trading even blows across the arena, with Cell doing most of the damage and leaving Goku struggling to keep up with him "Oh come on now Goku, don't tell me I'm suddenly too fast for you."

"Not a chance." and then the battle began anew, the two of them trading even blows across the ring and the skies above it far too fast for the untrained eye to even know where they were at the moment.

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JF and the others could only look on in awe at the spectacle "My god… What feats of absolutely incomparable skill and might! What power, what speed, what technique, what a battle! At least, that's what I would be saying if they were in the ring. Where the hell are they?"

"Who knows?" Larry gave a shrug "Maybe they're moving at speeds too fast for the human eye to see, I mean I could try using the high shutter camera-"

"Oh please." Mr Satan let out a scoff "Jerry, you're a terrific camera guy but you're a lousy martial artist. There's no way anybody could be that fast, they're just using camoflogue to disguise themselves like the Predator or Harry Potter."

"...Harry Potter?"

"My daughter is a big fan."

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Meanwhile, above the ring…

Goku dealt Cell a solid kick to the jaw, only to receive a fist to the face at the exact same time, resulting in both of them being blown backwards 'Okay, that one definitely hurt.'

Cell wiped the blood away and shot a smirk at Goku "Most impressive Goku, it seems you're going to provide me with even more amusement than I had ever dared to hope."

"Oh really?"

"This is what a true battle is supposed to feel like, wouldn't you agree? Now then, I believe we should continue."

"Fine by me." and then the battle began anew.

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Meanwhile, back on the ground…

Yamcha and the others could only look on in awe "Oh man look at them go, it's making my head spin just trying to watch them."

"Looks like they kicked things into the next gear." Raditz noted "What we were seeing before was just a warmup, but now I'm thinking we're actually seeing both of them really putting in the effort."

"Really shows how wide the gap is between us and them doesn't it?"

"That's one way of looking at it, though not particularly the right way." Cooler noted "Like your nephew stated, these types of battles shouldn't be viewed as what we've yet to achieve, but rather what is possible."

"You mean like how if Tien trained enough, he could perfect the Multi Form technique to the degree that Cell had?"

"That is one example yes." Cooler looked up to see Cell get pushed nearly out of the edge of the arena, only to retreat and for his and Goku's clash to begin anew before taking themselves to the skies once more "But be willing to explore possibilities as well."

"...You know it's kind of weird seeing Frieza's brother giving me advice."

"As opposed to trying to kill you?"

"Pretty much yeah."

"I cannot guarantee that we will always be on the same side, but I do know that at the moment, we have a common enemy, and the power that you and your companions possess will be crucial when faced with another enemy that will plague the universe at some point in the future. I just cannot say exactly when."

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Meanwhile, above the ring…

Cell took a moment to stop himself and Goku in mid air "Good Goku, very good. This is exactly what I've been waiting for. You know something Goku, when I became perfect I was a little bit scared by the thought that I'd never be able to test these abilities, as if I were a master surgeon without a patient."

"Or a grill without a burger." was what Goku offered.

"Yes, you do get it Goku! And that's exactly why we're here today! You are the only one who can truly complete me, compete with me! All of the others, they mean nothing! This entire tournament, this ring, all of it was for you, so we could have our perfect battle!"

"You didn't have to go through all of that trouble, I would've fought you either way."

"God, that's what I adore about you so much. You're so simple, that's what no one else truly understands. Such a battle cannot be ended by something so trivial as going out of bounds, wouldn't you agree? From now on we won't count that as a factor for disqualification, which means that the ring has outlived its usefulness." he held out a hand.

"Hold on a second, what exactly are you planning to do- Oh crap." Goku was quick to be hit by the realization and whipped around towards the others "GUYS THERE'S NO TIME, HURRY UP AND GET THE HELL AWAY FROM THE RING! CELL IS ABOUT TO DESTROY IT, GO NOW!"

"Too late." Cell promptly fired a simple Ki blast down at the ring, engulfing it in the explosion that followed.

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When the smoke cleared, all that was left of the ring was a massive crater too deep to see the bottom.

Fortunately, Gohan and the others were able to get out of the way of the blast before they could be incinerated "Okay, that was too close for comfort."

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Fortunately, or unfortunately depending on your opnion, JF and the others had found themselves being protected from the blast by Android 16, much to their relief "Th-Thank you very much for that."

"You should all evacuate this area immediately, you are not safe here." 16 promptly walked away from them.

"But I can't very well ignore my journalistic duties, can I? And besides, Mr Satan here is going to challenge Cell to a rematch a bit later. Isn't that right Mr Satan?"

"Wait what?" Mr Satan snapped out of his stupor and started barking like an idiot again "You're goddam right Jimmy, but until then I'm gonna duck behind cover and get a good grip on his moves!"

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Back on the battlefield…

Cell and Goku promptly returned to the ground where the ring once stood "Now that that's out of the way the entire planet is our ring, we fight to the end until one of us either surrenders or dies, so until either one of us is dead."

"Duly noted." Goku shot him a smirk and started stretching "Sounds to me like you're finally ready to get serious with me."

"No less can be demanded by an opponent of a calliber as high as yours."

"Fair enough."

"Now then, what do you say we see how much fun we can have with all of this extra space going for us?" on that note, Cell flew towards Goku and unleashed a rapid barrage of Ki blasts.

Goku was quickly forced on the evasive by the sudden swarm, but once he found an opening he soared through it and promptly fired a Ki blast directly at Cell, resulting in an explosion, and once that subsided the two of them started trading even blows which resulted in them getting locked in a power struggle, the force shaking the entire battlefield.

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Future Gohan could only look on in awe "This is incredible… As if their speed alone wasn't impressive enough, the power those two are putting out is on a whole other level!"

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"Let's do this!" Goku and Cell broke off from their power struggle and began trading a fierce and even barrage of attacks, which ended when Goku slugged Cell across the face and sent him skidding backwards.

"As if you had to ask!" with a roar, Cell rebounded and attacked Goku with a barrage of two handed Ki blasts, engulfing Goku in the explosion that followed.

Goku burst upwards from within the explosion and stopped high above the battlefield, his teeth grinding furiously.

Raditz looked up and blinked "So what's he doing up there, you think he's gonna go for the Solar Flare?"

Goku slammed his hands together and placed them at his side "Ka… Me…"

"Okay, that's not how the Solar Flare works. Starting to get Kai flashbacks here." he was met with a finger from Kai.

"Ha…"

"He… He can't be serious…" Cell paused, then started laughing "Oh of course, I think I understand it now! Yes Goku, you're absolutely right! This is the only way it can end! This tournament, these fools, this planet, none of them mean anything to men like you an I! We shall go out together, in a ball of molten rock and death!"

"Me…"

"YES!"

And then Goku disappeared and reappeared right in front of Cell using Instant Transmission, poised to fire the Kamehameha at point blank range.

"...Oh. Somehow I completely forgot about that. Oh crapbaskets."

"HAAAAAAA!" with a fury and strain filled roar, Goku hit Cell with the Kamehameha at point blank range, engulfing both of them in the massive explosion that followed. When the smoke finally cleared, Goku was left standing over the form of Cell, his top half having been completely blown to hell.

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Meanwhile, with the misfits…

JF and the others looked on from afar "Larry, are you still alive?"

"Somehow sir." Larry poked his head out from behind a rock like the others.

"Then what the hell are you waiting for, get the hell back out there!"

"Alright but remind me again, what's our insurance policy?"

"The same as our ethics policy."

"Then I'm sure as hell glad I don't have a family."

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"Yes that's it!" Krillin pumped a fist "Just like that Goku totally took him down, that Instant Transmission trick really is something else isn't it? Come on guys pop the metaphorical champagne already, we won! Goku did it and the world is safe, the usual."

"No, that's definitely not the case." Cooler told him grimly "In case you weren't aware, this creature has Namekian DNA in his body, and if you combine that with the resilience and survival capabilites of my species, then…"

"...Oh crap."

"Essentially yes. In simple terms, this battle is far from over yet."

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JF was quick to report back to the audience "Ladies and gentlemen, with god as my witness, it appears that the orance clad simpleton has exploded the top of Cell! Mr Satan tell us, do you have any more explanations?"

Mr Satan gave a shrug "Well if I were a betting man, and I am and it's a serious problem, they combined the lasers and the mirrors with C4 charges…"

"And switched the body out in the ensuing chaos!"

"Now you're thinking like a Satanist Jimmy."

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Goku looked down at the bottom half of Cell, his mind racing 'Something doesn't seem right about this, even now I can still sense a lot of Ki coming from him.'

Sure enough, at that moment Cell's lower half sprung back up to its feet, and the top half regenerated in mere seconds "Okay time, time out, time right the hell out."

"Oh yeah I forgot, you can regenerate. But I didn't think you could without your head being intact."

"Piccolo's cells do provide a great deal of use, but the resilience of Frieza and his father's cells provide all the more use to me."

"I should've guessed you went down a bit too easily, but regenerating half of your body like that still takes up a lot of Ki, so you're not at full strength anymore."

"The same could easily be said of you as well, you were breathing pretty hard after that last attack of yours. Shall we continue? I'm sure it goes without saying that I have no intention of falling for that little trick of yours again, so I'm afraid this fight of yours is going to get dull rather quickly if that turned out to be your only ace in the hole."

"Not even close!"

"That's the spirit." the two of them continued flaring their golden auras, in which Cell easily dodged a charge attack from Goku and slammed his fist into Goku's face.

Goku retaliated with a kick to Cell's face, resulting in the two of them trading even yet considerably violent blows, some connecting with each other but others just striking air, resulting in further destruction of the landscape around them, or what was left of it.

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JF once again did his thing "Mr Satan can you make heads or tails of this, because right now I'm more confused than a homeless person under house arrest."

"First of all Jimmy, I find that offensive." Mr Satan told him.

"Why?"

"Second of all… You know what, I don't want to give away all the trade secrets! After all, if I did then what would be left for the kids Jimmy, what would be left for the kids?!"

"Pragmatism at its finest Mr Satan!"

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"Pragmatism at its finest Mr Satan!"

Master Roshi was less than impressed by what he was hearing 'Bullshit at its finest is more like it, but for some reason Goku is…'

That was when Bulma showed up "Hey guys I'm here, sorry I'm so late but I had to stop and pick up Bulla from daycare."

"Oh. You brought the baby."

"Is that a problem?"

"Uh… no it's fine."

"He is legally obligated to inform you that he's-" Turtle was promptly cut off.

"Turtle I've watched her poop, she knows what I'm about!"

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The battle of the Cell Games was raging on ferociously.

"That won't be enough to beat me!" Cell broke off from his clash with Goku, too to the air and promptly fired a Ki blast.

"We'll see about that!" Goku dodged the Ki blast, blitzed above Cell and slammed his fist straight into Cell's face, then attempted to follow up with another kick.

Cell dodged his follow up attack and dealt Goku a smash attack to the skull, sending him hurtling towards the ground.

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Nail and the others looked on in awe "Remarkable, they both spent a tremendous amount of power up to this point, but even so one would never suspect it from watching them fight right now."

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Cell and Goku dealt each other simultaneous fists to the face, leaving each other to break away and start panting heavily "Oh come now Goku, what's the matter? Don't tell me this is the best you can do."

"Not a chance in hell!" Goku burst forward and lunged at Cell, only to be met with a knee to the gut, grabbed by the front of his shirt and dealt a brutal fist to the face, sending him flying into some nearby rocks. After a moment, he burst up from beneath the rubble and attacked Cell with a massive barrage of continuous Ki blasts 'No matter what happens, I've gotta keep this up for as long as I can!'

A/N:

And thus we see the first act of of the Cell Games, with Mr Satan's triumphant arrival, and miserably failure to defeat Cell, followed by Goku's fierce battle against the monstrous Cell. I would've gotten this chapter out sooner, but I spent almost a full week binging the new DBZ: Kakarot game, which is awesome by the way, so that put my writing on hiatus for about a week or so. Also, this is the last update of this story before my next semester begins, so update speed will most likely slow down from then on, which goes for all of my stories.

I included some scenes from the sub story with Gohan and Android 16 from the new DBZ game Kakarot (which I had been binging for several days in my basement), mainly because it adds some world building and some character development which I really liked, and I thought it would be cool to see in there.

I decided to take the TFS route for a good number of the scenes featured in this chapter, particularly in regards to Mr Satan, in which I decided to cut out his entourage of Piiza and the others because, well I find them annoying as hell, and the TFS version of Mr Satan is a lot more endearing to me. Plus it shows how much I love the writng of DBZ Abridged, season 3 in particular.

Power levels:

Super Saiyan Goku: 9.1 billion

Cooler: 6.5 billion

Android 16: 5.1 billion

Weighted Piccolo: 4 billion

Nail: 5 billion

Raditz: 800 million

Future Gohan: 1 billion

Kai: 250 million

Yamcha: 50 million

Krillin: 24 million

Upa: 30 million

Mr Satan (because I have to): 30

Cell (suppressed against Goku): 10 billion