Guest: Yeah I'm looking forward to that one too, but it's still a ways off. I should warn you though, that's going to be very different from how it was in canon.
Hamza9236: My power level lists are mainly inspired by Vegito1089 on YouTube, and I just use that as a basis for each list. As for Videl's power level, I understand your skepticism, but keep in mind that Piccolo was able to go from being able to go from being on the same level as second form Frieza to being on par with a Super Saiyan in three years, so frankly I don't think it's that far fetched. Also, if you want a shorter explanation, to quote DBZ Abridged: Power levels are bullshit.
xSonallyGirl129x: Thanks, I'm glad to see you liked it. Scarlet being in the tournament after coming back to Earth for a day was actually meant to fill the void that I had created by making it so Goku was brought back after Cell was defeated, but it's still something that I'm really looking forward to. Yes, Kai does pretty much personify chaotic good, and I'm glad that he's receiving such positive feedback. Yes, Bulla, Ranch and Goten are going to be the next generation of the Dragon Team, after Kai, Gohan and Videl that is, so it only makes sense that they should have some screentime themselves. Goku being in a sandwich suit was actually something I got the idea for from an episode of Fuller House, but it's still hilarious to me. Gohan and Erasa's dad was something that I thought would be necessary, but I'm glad to see you approved of it. As for my decision to include Cooler in the tournament, it does coincide with the start of the VERY long conflict with Majin Buu, so it does make sense.
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The day for the tournament had finally come, and the majority of the group was flying towards the island in one of Bulma's capsule planes.
Speaking of Bulma, she glanced over at Yamcha while she was flying the plane "So what do you think, is Scarlet really going to be able to make it back in time for the tournament?"
"Oh don't you worry, she's going to be there. I have no doubt about it." Yamcha assured her, then let out a chuckle "It's been more than a decade since I last saw her, it's gonna feel just like old times when I see her again. I bet she's going to be surprised when she finds out how much stronger I've gotten."
"I bet she won't be surprised when she sees you get your ass handed to you, courtesy of yours truly." Kai pointed out dryly.
"And imagine how she's gonna react when she sees how much you've grown, and how…"
"How I'm considerably less of a sociopath than I used to be? Don't hold your breath, it's part of my charm and if you don't like it then you can suck on the flat end of my-" he was silenced by a hand slapped over his mouth, which he quickly bit down on "Still though, part of me is pretty excited to get the opportunity to see what she can do in a one on one fight. This is the sort of opportunity I might never get again."
"I kind of know what you mean." Gohan muttered "Considering what we saw her do when we fought against Janemba, she might even be stronger than both of us combined."
"I wouldn't be surprised, when it comes to training she pushes herself even harder than I do, and that's sure as hell saying something."
"Now that's something I'm having a hard time picturing. By the way that reminds me, and this goes for all of you, dad, Tarble and Uncle Raditz. I've been thinking about this for the past few days, and I think it's for the best if all of us agree not to go Super Saiyan at any point during the tournament."
"Why do you say that?" asked Goku.
"Stop and think about it for a second dad, if people see us then there's a pretty good chance of them recognizing us from the Cell Games, it's not like any of us went to the trouble of disguising yourselves."
"Like you've got any room to whine about that." Kai let out a snort "You're practically the only people here who don't have to worry about that, keep in mind that you never even reverted back from Super Saiyan at any point during the Cell Games."
"Well sure, but it doesn't change the fact that if people saw us transform they would figure out we were there."
"You're giving them way too much credit, keep in mind that we're talking about the same people who worship Mr Satan like a god and believe every single thing he says, including the stuff about Ki control being a bunch of lightshows and tricks."
"Maybe, but still…"
"Stop being so overdramatic about this sort of thing, it's gonna be fine."
"Well my point still stands, so none of us should go Super Saiyan, okay?"
"Alright fine, suit yourself I suppose." Raditz let out a sigh, then gave a smirk "But of course, that's assuming that we need it at all. I intend on dominating."
"More like being dominated." Kai let out a snort "Keep in mind that pretty much all of us here, except for the Androids that is, could take you guys on even with Super Saiyan going for you, so the way I see it, you guys are pretty much fucked now."
"Don't think we're out of the running either." 17 shot him a smirk "Keep in mind that we've got a few secrets going for us too."
"I look forward to seeing it, but if you think that's gonna be enough then you've got another thing coming."
"Alright then, there it is!" Bulma lit up at the sight of the island before them "Alright guys you had better get ready to look alive, the grounds of the World Martial Arts Tournament are coming up straight ahead!"
"Bout fucking time, this is where shit is about to get good."
"Okay then, now for the finishing touch." Gohan reached down into the bag he was carrying and pulled out a pair of shades, which he promptly stuck on his face.
"So… you wanna elaborate as to what the fuck you're doing?"
"Exactly what it looks like, I'm gonna slap on a pair of shades so that no one will recognize me in the tournament. Plus there is something else I've been wanting to try out."
"I already know what it is, and let me save you the effort and humiliation." Kai promptly snatched the shades off of Gohan's face and crushed them in his hands "And that right there is a big fat nope."
"What did you do that for?"
"What do you think genius, to save you from what you think is looking cool. And for the record, if that second purpose you were talking about was testing out the Superman theory about whether or not glasses can protect your identity, you can save the effort and humiliation."
"Come on Kai, you know why I don't want people to see everything I can do."
"Because you want to fit in with some bullshit stereotypes, and I already told you why that's so ridiculous. You've been doing well with it up until now, and you know what happened the last time you decided to stop caring what random assholes think? You got a girlfriend out of it, and so you're welcome. Besides, she already knows almost everything about you doesn't she, so what the hell do you have to worry about?" he was met with silence "You know I'm right about this."
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It didn't take long for the gang to arrive at the island for the World Martial Arts Tournament, and then start making their way through the massive crowd.
Goku and the others all looked around "Man look at all of these people, I can't remember the last time I saw so many people here."
"Seems like a real pain in the butt to me." Bulma muttered "There's gotta be at least thousands of them here."
"Definitely a lot more than the last time we were here. You guys think Scarlet has shown up on the scene yet?"
"No not yet, we'd pick up her Ki signature." Yamcha told him, which was almost immediately followed by people running around and screaming like a bunch of idiots "Anyone wanna take a few guess as to what's causing all of that?"
"We only need one guess, Afro the Ass Clown himself has finally decided to honor us with his presence." Kai noted dryly, his tone laced with sarcasm.
"People go nuts for this guy, I don't get why they get so worked up." Bulma commented.
"Because people are all idiots by nature, and the fact that no one really knows what happened during the Cell Games doesn't change that fact.
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Meanwhile, on another end of the grounds…
A massive crowd of gullible idiots had gathered outside on the scene of a massive, chanting the name of their so-called lord and savior, until…
"YEAH!" yep, the moment of truth came ever closer as Mr Satan emerged from the plane and started flexing before the crowd "Yeah that's right, for all of my fans who have been waiting for me to arrive, go ahead and give yourselves a big round of applause!" he was met with even more cheering.
A reporter was quick to jump on him with a microphone "Mr Satan sir, please tell us. Just how good do you think the odds are you're going to be the world champion once again?"
"Oh come on sweetheart, put your life savings on me for the win, because I've got this one wrapped up in one gigantic bow!"
"I understand that your daughter Miss Videl is entering the competition this year as well, so do tell, are you as excited for this tournament as your father is?"
"As a matter of fact, I am excited for it." Videl cracked her knuckles and gave a smirk "Call it a hunch, but I have a feeling that this tournament is going to be really interesting."
"Such enthusiasm, so I take it we should expect a father daughter showdown when the time comes for the finals?"
"You never know. Not on your fucking life.'
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Meanwhile, back with the competent fighters…
Raditz let out a groan at the sight of Mr Satan being swamped with reporters "Looks like the idiot really likes eating up the attention, it's pretty sickening actually."
"Oh come on, let the guy have his moments." Goku waved him off.
"So out of curiosity, has anyone caught sight of Scarlet yet?" asked Yamcha "It's hard to track anyone with all of these people around."
"I haven't seen her yet, but I've caught sight of a few other recluses." Goku jerked a thumb over at where Piccolo and Cooler were leaning against opposite sides of a tree.
"Alright dad, way to spot them." so on that note, Gohan and Kai made their way over to the recluses in question "I'm glad to see you both made it."
"I see that you've both grown a great deal stronger since we last met." Cooler noted, then aimed his glance over at Kai "I take it your mother hasn't joined you as of yet? I haven't been able to detect her energy signature amidst the massive crowd."
"Which is the main problem that we have." Kai told him flatly "And I'm just throwing this out there, if I end up fighting you in the ring then I'm sure as hell not holding back, and any potential world ending crisis we have to deal with can temporarily go to hell."
"I'll be sure to keep that in mind, but at the same time, I have very high expectations for the both of you as well, along with the rest of your comrades competing."
"I always aim for the top, you should know that by now."
"Speaking of which, do you think your mom might actually be here?" asked Gohan "Maybe someone should go and check the changing rooms."
"You mean 18 since she's the only one of us that could go and check in there, and just throwing this out there, if any of you try to peep on my mother in there, Roshi and cueball I'm looking at the two of you, I have every intention of blasting you through the skull."
"Nice to know that you've mellowed out somewhat in the last few years sweetie."
"And that's her cue to make an entrance." Kai whipped around and for once, he actually gave a genuine smile "Glad to see you made it mom."
Sure enough, Scarlet Sapien stood before the group in all of her glory, clad in her typical red martial arts gi with a black shirt underneath, and her long brown hair tied back into a ponytail, and she had Fortuneteller Baba by her side "Hey everyone here that I actually know, it's been a long time. So much so that I hardly recognize most of you, and that's talking about the ones I do know. As for those among you I've never met, how you doing?"
"...Honestly mom, you're the only woman I know of you can pull off Joey from Friends and even come close to making it look good."
"I do what I can."
"And that's one of the only things that actually made me smile growing up." Yamcha slowly stepped forward and pulled Scarlet into a tight hug "I missed you big sister."
"I feel the same way little brother." but then she glanced ahead and noticed Bulla hiding herself behind Bulla's leg.
Bulma gave a gentle smile to her daughter "Hey come on out sweetie, it's alright."
"Nice to see you too Bulma, so is that a little you hiding behind her leg."
The little Bulma in question shyly poked her head out from behind Bulma's leg "I'm Bulla."
"Hi Bulla, my name is Scarlet." she made her way forward and knelt down in front of them, and she gave a small smile.
"So… you're my auntie?"
"Yeah, I guess I am." she earned a shy smile from Bulla.
Unfortunately, Baba had to cut the moment short "Keep in mind Scarlet, that I'm giving you 24 hours in the world of the living, no more and no less."
"I understand that very well Miss Baba, thank you."
"At least you know how to show respect, unlike a few ungrateful brats." this caused most of the others, Goku included, to cringe "Alright then, best of luck to you." and then she flew off on top of her crystal ball.
"Alright then everyone, unless you just intend to be a bunch of spectators, I suggest we get in line to sign up for the tournament."
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About 10 minutes later…
The receptionist blinked "I'm sorry sir, what was that name again?"
"Don't me annunciate it, it's Crimson Dragon." Kai told him flatly, which put him on the receiving end of a dry look from Gohan "Don't give me any of that shit, I'm allowed to use an alias for two main reasons. First of all, I'm not doing it out of shame for who I am or what I can do. Second of all, I'm planning on making it my official title when I win the tournament, which will come only after I face Mr Satan and rip him a brand new asshole."
"I don't remember you being so ambitious." Scarlet noted dryly.
"What can I say, I've really mellowed out over the years. Shut up." he said that last part to everyone else, then turned back to the receptionists "We've got two young ones in the ring too, that's Son Goten and Son Ranch." he jerked a thumb back at the two in question "Go ahead and sign them up."
"Oh I see, that's good since we needed a few more for the junior division."
"Junior what now?"
"The junior division, the smaller tournament that's reserved for any participants that are less than 15 years old."
"So you're basically shafting the kids so the adults can get the good shit. I can sort of get behind that."
"And that fact is one of the many reasons why I have such a hard time trying to understand your mindset." Gohan commented dryly.
"I do what I can."
"Believe me, I know."
"Attention please, we require all contestants to make their way to the changing area!"
"Looks like it's go time."
"Good thing I showed up before that happened."
Gohan and the others glanced over to see Erasa coming up to them, and his grin widened almost immediately as a result "Oh hey, it's great to see you." he was met with a bright smile.
"Yeah you too, I was hoping that I would get to see you off and wish you good luck, looks like I got here just in time. Go on and show them what you're made of." she gripped his shoulders and promptly gave him a peck on the cheek, which caused his face to turn red.
"Uh… thanks…"
"Get a grip loverboy, we've got work to do." Kai grabbed onto Gohan by the back of his gi and shoved him forward "If anyone wants to get a few final words in then do it now, because I'm only gonna smack his shit back to reality once we get to the changing room."
"Way ahead of you." Chichi gripped onto the shoulders of Gohan and Goten, but she also addressed Goku at the same time "Now it's go time boys, be safe and be strong."
"And you have no problems with these three idiots making a metric fuckton of cash isn't too bad in your eyes either." Kai was met with a glare from Chichi "That's not you saying no."
"Nice to know you haven't lost your sense of humor." Scarlet gave a chuckle "This is the first time I've had to fight with all I've got since the whole mess with Janemba."
"I know the feeling, and I can't wait for you to see just how strong I've gotten over the past three years."
"And I look forward to seeing it." and with that, the group of those who would be participating in the tournant, those being Kai, Gohan, Scarlet, Goku, Piccolo, Cooler, 17, 18, Yamcha, Tien, Krillin, Tarble and Raditz, made their way to the changing area, unaware of the sinister forces lurking behind the scenes.
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It didn't take long for the group to reach the inner area of the tournament grounds.
By this point, Kai and Gohan were invested in a certain topic of conversation "So this new show is called the Dragon Prince, I found it on Netflix awhile back, and apparently it's got the same guy writing it as Avatar the Last Airbender."
"Is it any good?" asked Gohan.
"It's got three seasons out and it's not stoppin anytime soon, and based on what I've seen from it so far, fuck yeah it's awesome."
"Does it have anything to do with the main character being voiced by Sokka's voice actor?"
"That does bring a certain level of charm and nostalgia to the show, but still it's really well written, and that's coming from me. I'm just gonna say it, Dragon Prince does a metrick fuckton better as a spiritual successor than Legend of Korra does."
"Korra was fine." was 17's contribution to their conversation "The way I see it, it did pretty well considering the universal fact that almost all sequels to pretty much anything in existence end up sucking."
"True as that might be, it doesn't really capture the spirit of Avatar as much as the Dragon Prince is able to."
"As much as I appreciate quality and well written entertainment in this day and age, we do have more important business to attend to right now." Tien pointed out.
"Dial it back Triclops, we've still got time before the preliminaries, and there's no way in hell any of these guys are going to be a problem for any of us."
"That's not the issue, this is a serious competition and we have to stay vigilant."
"Well well, even after all these years, your sense have grown to be that much sharper." a certain familiar voice got the attention of the others.
Tien suddenly froze in place as a chill forced its way down his spine 'That voice… but it couldn't be…' he steeled himself and regained his composure, and his expression hardened as he turned to face the new arrival "It's been a long time since we were last face to face… Master Shen."
Sure enough, Shen of the Crane School of martial arts stood before the group, the sinister and malicious smirk plastered across his face as it always was, but the most noticeable difference about him was that his crane hat was gone, and in place was a very large M mark plastered across his forehead "So we meet again Shinhan, after all these years. Tell me, is your fellow traitor here with you?"
"If you're referring to Chiaotzu, he decided not to participate in the tournament this year. What about you then, what business do you have here? If you're here for revenge, then I should tell you now that it's not going to pan out. Even if you should somehow be able to defeat me, there are plenty of others here than I believe are stronger than myself."
"Don't flatter yourself Tien, I have far more important objectives to attend to at this tournament than you. But with that being said, if I should find an opportunity to end your miserable existence with my own hands, then I suppose I can multitask. Enjoy your life while you can, for you never know when it may be ripped from your grasp." and with his smirk widening, he promptly turned on his heel and walked away.
Once he was gone, Kai let out a low whistle "Well… that happened."
"Sounds like you've got a real Mr Personality there." this was when Videl finally made herself known to the group, clad in a gi identical to Kai's, only hers was white "Friend of yours I take it?"
"Try a friend of the Triclops, and an arrogant little shit at that. Kind of reminds me of how you used to be before I started training you. So what's your verdict then, you keep up on the training up until now?"
"Of course I have, take a look at who you're talking to. The Nail Gun is still sort of a work in progress though, but it's as good as I had time to get it to be before the tournament."
"Fair enough, and who's saying that you can't evolve in the heat of battle. Naruto did that like three times, I mean he got his Tailed Beast Mode, Sage Tailed Beast Mode and Six Paths Sage Mode in the span of less than 12 hours."
"Using anime references to reinforce your point, why doesn't that surprise me?"
"Because we're talking about me."
"Fair enough. Either way though, the way I see it the so-called Crimson Dragon and Golden Warrior have finally met their match."
"Actions speak a metric fuckton louder than words, so if you really believe that then be sure you back it up."
"Oh trust me, I intend to."
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Excitement for the tournament was growing with every moment.
"Thank you for taking the time to talk with us." a reporter was going around the plaza and interviewing various contestants, if they could actually be called that, when she promptly set her eyes on Piccolo and Cooler "Well what do you know, it looks to me like we've got a last minute group of contestants making their way over. I don't want to miss the preliminaries, so we'd better make this quick. Hi there, you two mind tell us where you're from?"
"No comment." was all Cooler said as he and Piccolo walked past them.
"Huh, well at least one of them had the decency to reply. Still though, is it just me or did one of them look familiar?" then the reporter set her sights on Scarlet and the others "Excuse me miss, but how far have you travelled to participate in this tournament?"
"Well considering this little accessory I've had with me for the past decade and a half or so, I think I've travelled far enough." Scarlet pointed at the halo resting atop her head "I am dead after all."
"Oh. Oh I see, so we've got a kidder with us."
"I wouldn't kid about something like that."
"So you're very committed to this whole skit about being dead, but then again I suppose that would explain that spiffy prop halo."
"You mean this thing? No it's for real, they are standard issue when you die." this was immediately followed by Piccolo unleashing an invisible light from his eyes, destroying the camera in an instant "Well… that happened I guess." so she started walking past the reporter tearing into her camerama "Well that didn't go as smoothly as I thought it would, I figured that telling her the truth and explaining I was dead would be enough to make them just leave me alone, but I guess people can handle more crazy than I expected."
"You're giving these people way too much credit." Kai told her dryly "You're implying that these people have high enough IQ's to understand crazy."
"People are a lot smarter than you give them credit for."
"We're talking about the same people who believe that Mr Satan killed Cell, that Ki techniques are nothing but a bunch of light shows and tricks, and that Teen Titans Go isn't the absolute atrocity that I know for a fact it is."
"...Oh yeah that's true. So where are the others right now?"
"Last I heard they were getting changed into their fighting attire, along with the other schmucks that are trying to compete."
"I have to admit though, part of me does feel somewhat bad for the competitors that we'll have to fight against, seeing how they have no idea what they're in for. To think that they train so hard for so long, only for the rest of us to toss them around like metaphorical ragdolls since we're so far ahead of them."
"That's one comically huge difference between us, you feel bad for all of those poor pathetic bastards, but I don't. And before you launch into some whole Talk no Jutsu style speech about being compassionate to others, most of them are guys who worship Mr Satan and the ground he walks on, and I don't make any sort of effort to hide how I feel about him and his followers. He's an absolute disgrace, plain and simple." the two of them started walking until they reached the main quadrant, followed shortly after by Gohan and the others "Bout time you guys decided to show up."
"Believe it or not, some of us actually bothered to wear actual clothes." Gohan told him, then let out a chuckle "Looks to me like we've got a full house."
"Yeah, of idiots, weaklings and Satan worshippers, and not even the good kind."
"There's a good kind?"
"Of course there is, the kind that doesn't worship that piece of-" he was cut off by Scarlet gently placing one hand over his mouth, which he quickly removed "Was that really necessary?"
"I get that it's your shtick and all, and that puberty is hitting you like a bulldozer, but you could at least dial it back on the cursing." Scarlet told him flatly.
"I will make no such promise."
"...Should I expect him to even try?"
"Nope." was the simultaneous chorus from pretty much everyone present.
"Well I'll be damned! I can't believe it's really you guys!"
"Hm?" Goku and the others glanced over to see a familiar face coming up to them in the form of the world tournament announcer, and he broke out his classic Son grin "Oh hey it's you, long time no see!"
"That's the biggest understatement of the entire century! You have no idea how long I've been waiting to see you guys compete in a tournament again, it's been almost 20 years! I feel like I just saved a fortune on lottery tickets, because it's my lucky day! But be real with me for a second, it wasn't Mr Satan up there who beat Cell, am I right or am I right? I can tell it was you guys doing all of the heavy lifting. Come on you guys, I wasn't born yesterday."
"Well you're half right, truth be told it was my son back there." Goku jerked a thumb back in the direction of Gohan, which earned a sheepish Son grin.
"Well either way I can't tell how much of a relief it is to have you guys back, nor can I tell you how boring these tournaments have been ever since you guys raised the bar with your fights, and then vanished off the face of the earth like you did. Well except for you Goku, starting your own sandwich franchise huh?"
"Well I had to do a lot of thinking after the whole thing with Cell, and one thing led to another and now me and my older brother over there…" he jerked a thumb back at Raditz "The two of us became kings of clubs, coleslaw and cold cuts."
"Sounds pretty ideal. Anyway it's a major relief to have you guys have back, so please tell me that the scary looking ones are friends of yours." he was referring to Cooler, 17 and 18 in this case.
"Friend of the prodigal son over there, Yamcha is my uncle and most of the other guys here just piss me off." Kai told him dryly.
"I'm glad to hear it. Oh and Goku and shoulder pads, if you could be a pal and not blow the arena to kingdom come this time, that would be a huge help."
"I only promise to try." was all Piccolo said.
"I can live with that. Still though, seeing three former champions together in one place? I need one of you guys to pinch me, this has to be a dream of some kind! Speaking of which, I have to say Miss Scarlet, it's such an honor to meet you in person."
"No need, the pleasure is all mine." Scarlet waved it off.
"I have to ask though, why bother with the halo exactly? I don't know if that really works with our demographic."
"Oh that thing? See I died about a decade and a half ago from that heart virus back when it was still relatively new, and this thing is pretty much a permanent accessory. I only got a one day pass to come back and see if I'd be able to reclaim my title."
"...Yeah okay."
"Wait really, you believe that?"
"Miss, considering what I've seen with Goku and the others competing in this tournament over the years, nothing surprises me anymore. If you say that you came back from the dead like something out of Yu Yu Hakusho, then who the hell am I to stop you?"
"Well that's a relief." Kai let out a sigh "So Yu Yu Hakusho huh? Not bad."
"I've heard good things about that, but I've never seen it." Gohan commented "Is it as good as people claim?"
"I've seen enough to confirm that, but that's not the only thing I was referring to. I meant the fact that there's at least one dude on the planet that we're not associated with, and has enough brain cells to not be brainwashed by the virus that is Mr Satan."
"You say that like it's as rare as you claim it is."
"What the fuck do you think genius? Still though, at least there are still some people in the world that have decent levels of intelligence."
"OH HELL YEAH!" this was when Mr Satan himself showed up on the scene and barked out his typical annoying laugh.
"There's intelligent people, and then there's him and anyone he's infected with the virus that is his stupidity."
"Alright my adoring public, who wants to remember today as the day that you got graced with an autograph from yours truly?! I'm more than happy to give it to you for free, but only if you're one of the first people to get in line!"
"...You know I've heard some people say that stupidity can be cured by death, but in the case of that dumbass it would be insulting the people who died just to get away from him, and if it keeps going like this then chances are I'll end up joining all of them."
"You gonna go ahead and get in line?" asked Gohan.
"Not yet, I'll see if anyone else has what it takes to put up a decent fight, and then I'll go from there."
"Excuse me, attention all participants!" this was when the official got everyone's attention "First things first, I would like to thank each and every one of you for coming out here today, as I'm sure that all of you are aware that we're about to get underway with the preliminary rounds of the World Martial Arts Tournament. Out of the 200 adults who have signed up to participate, only a mere 16 will be allowed to compete in one on one combat. The children have different rules for the Junior Division, but we'll be covering those at a later time. One of those 16 spots has been reserved for Mr Satan himself, since he is the reigning champion of the previous tournament, so without further delay we had best get down to choosing the other 15 contestants. As we did in the last tournament, we will be using a punching machine to ensure that everyone's strength levels are scored fairly, and those with the 15 highest scores on the punch machine will be allowed to move onto the next round." it was then that the punch machine was brought out into the open area "Alright then, now in order to sow you how the machine works and to let you see for yourselves what you're actually in for if you actually do reach the arena, we're going to be bringing forward a familiar face in order to give all of us a proper demonstration. Ladies and gentlemen, please give a warm and loud welcome for the champ himself, MR SATAN!"
"YEAH TO THE YEAH!" this was when Mr Satan stormed his way up to the front and started posing as he held up the championship belt "Let me tell you chumps now that if you want to get your hands on this, then you're going to have to take it from me!"
"Okay you know what, I think I speak for everyone when I say that I've had about as much of this as I can stand." so with a twinkle of energy from his eyes, Piccolo promptly destroyed every camera on the scene with a quick flash, earning a few odd looks "What? Be realistic, if I didn't then Kai sure as hell would've, only he wouldn't have cared for discretion." he was promptly met with two hand gestures from Kai, one of which was actually a thumbs up. As for the other… well considering we're talking about Kai, I think you all know what it is.
"...Well then, I guess I must have flexled a little bit too hard for them." so without any more cameras with which to make a fool of himself, Mr Satan got into a stance in front of the punching machine "MEGATON PUNCH!" and with lots of constipated groaning, he promptly slammed his fist into the machine full force, which resulted in him scoring 137 points.
"Is this a dream?!" the official pretty much lost his shit when he noticed this "Do my eyes deceive me?! Could my eyes really be staring at a fantastic score of 137 points?!" and most of the crowd went into an uproar.
"Time for the rest of them to show the machine and weaklings who's boss, do your best and maybe you'll turn out to be the lucky son of a bitch that I get to fight later on!" and so Mr Satan promptly waltzed his way back inside.
"Alright then, everyone else come forward and take a number, and then line up in numerical order in front of the punching machine. And if you're one of the competitors under 15 who intend to participate in the Junior Division, one of our monks will lead all of you to where you need to go."
"Go ahead and kick some ass, then give us something to look forward to." Kai told them dryly, then shoved Goten and Ranch over to where they were supposed to be, then glanced over in the direction of Gohan and the others "Calling it now, if we don't get in the 1000's then I know that that thing is fucked up beyond reason." that was immediately followed by a montage of everyone getting in line as he listened to people punching the machine, and he rolled his eyes at the scores he was hearing 'Most of these idiots don't even get into the 100's, and the fact that they're basing this on pure physical strength alone is just pathetic. He's taken the entire sport of martial arts and turned it into some kind of pathetic publicity stunt or a cage match.'
"The next one required to test themselves against the punching machine is #84!"
"About time I actually get to do something noteworthy." so an incredibly bored 18 stepped up to the plate "I'm not gonna break the thing so you don't have to worry."
"With all due respect ma'am, I think you'll find that the punching machine is far more durable than you give it credit for."
"So was Lori Loughlin's credibility, and look at how that turned out." so she dealt a punch to the machine, which made a large number of jaws drop as a result.
"What the- She was able to score a 774 with a lovetap?!"
"I rest my case."
"I… I'm sorry ma'am, but we seem to be having some technical difficulties with the machine. It would normally be physically impossible to score that high."
'So is a lot of stuff I do in my free time.'
"I think we're up and running now, if you wouldn't mind giving it another try."
"If I have to, then fine." so she gave it another hit, which still made his jaw drop, as would that of everyone else who hit it.
"203 points. So who's up next then?"
"I believe that it would be my turn." Cooler stepped up to the plate and landed a simple punch.
"232 points."
Gohan went next.
"228 points."
Then Yamcha.
"212 points."
Then Scarlet.
"222 points."
Then Piccolo.
"210 points."
Then Tarble.
"192 points."
Then 17.
"201 points."
Then Raditz.
"213 points."
Then Tien.
"208 points."
Then Krillin.
"192 points. Okay that's it, this is getting ridiculous. I think it's safe to say that this punch machine is totally on the fritz, so what do you say we swap it out and get a fresh one for the rest of the contestants?" it only took a moment for the machines to be swapped out.
"Alright assclowns, make some room and brace for flying debris." unfortunately for pretty much everyone else, Kai was the first one to step up to the plate.
"Oh dear god no." Gohan could only shut his eyes and wait for the inevitable.
The inevitable came almost immediately as Kai let a fist fly towards the machine, destroying it easily with a singel blow "I may not have gotten a number, but I doubt anyone will disagree when I say that I just more than proved my strength enough to qualify. Any objections?" he received no reply "I didn't think so." and so he made his way back towards the others "So what's the verdict on the others?"
"After seeing what you just did, most of the other fighters are starting to drop out in fear of you pulling a Rick and Morty and turning them inside out." Gohan told him dryly.
"Alright then, that's a job well done."
"You're a hardcore sociopath, you know that?"
"And this surprises you because?"
"I never said that it surprised me, I'm just making an observation. I'm used to it by now."
"And so you should be, but you wouldn't have me any other way."
"I know. Still, you could show a little restraint."
"Of course I could, but I won't."
"And that doesn't surprise me in the slightest either." Videl muttered as she made her way over to the two of them.
"It's about fucking time you decided to catch on, and it only took him three years, whereas it took him less than one."
"Ha ha, very funny. So you guys and pretty much everyone else in your group scored close to or over 200 points, you think I'll be able to get up to that range?"
"Everyone else is holding back a metrick fuckton of their power, just do enough so you don't scare any of the "normal fighters" into shitting themselves."
"I thought you would get off on that sort of thing."
"Normally I would, but with this many of them I don't need to deal with the stench."
This was when the official finally snapped out of his stupor "So then, for those of you haven't had your turn at the punching machine yet, I'll have to ask all of you to be patient. We'll be sure to bring out another one just as soon as we can, so just hang tight until then."
"Well then, that's their problem now. Pretty much everyone who's relevant has already tested against that thing."
"I haven't gone up yet." Goku pointed out.
"I said everyone relevant. So what now?"
"Well my younger brother and my cousin are about to take each other on in the Junior Division of the tournament, so we could always go ahead and watch that." Gohan pointed out "You guys up for watching that?"
"Might as well, it's not like we've got anything better to do right now."
"I wouldn't be so sure about that just yet sweetie." this was when Scarlet came up to the three of them "Well how about it, aren't you going to introduce me to your friend here?"
"Oh crap, I knew it was only a matter of time. Mom this is Videl, I've been training her for the past few years. Videl this is my mother Scarlet."
"Nice to meet you dear. I have to admit I'm rather surprised Kai, I never thought you were into that sort of thing."
"I'm not, she's my friend and student and that's all there is to it."
"Whatever you say." and she walked off with a smile that left Kai comically growling.
"...Dammit, the one person I can't blast through the gut for being snarky about that. The one person in this entire fucking universe!"
"Karma was bound to catch up with you sooner or later." Gohan let out a chuckle, only to be blasted into a nearby wall "Ow…"
"She's the only exception to that rule, even you can't get that lucky. Pick yourself up and get your shit together and then meet us over at the stands while we watch the runts go at it, and probably place a few bets. Videl you're out of luck in that regard. Goku, have fun waiting in line you spiky smug son of a bitch." so with a certain finger gesture aimed in Goku's direction, along with a smug grin, Kai promptly took his leave with the others.
Videl just let out a sigh as she watched them leave "I can never get a read on him."
"I'm pretty sure Gohan is the only one who can." Goku let out a chuckle.
"I mean seriously though, I thought he said his mother was dead."
"Oh yeah she is, that halo above her head is the real deal. To be fair we've all died at some point, even Kai and Gohan."
"...I don't mean this to be an insult, but you guys are all kinds of fucked up."
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Meanwhile, at the actual tournament grounds…
"If I could have your attention ladies and gentlemen, after a hiatus of many years, the beloved World Martial Arts Tournament is at last about to begin anew!" the announcer was quick to get the people in the stands hyped up, earning many cheers as a result "First up we have the Junior Division, which is reserved for fighters 15 years of age and younger. Even though the fighters may be small the prizes are still huge, 10 million Zeni goes to the winner while 5 million goes to the runner up! And on top of the prize money, our first place junior will be granted the privilege of having a sparring match with an opponent that I can say with utter confidence is near and dear to almost every single person on the planet, so put your hands together for our reigning champ and savior in the flesh, MR SATAN!"
"OH YEAH TO THE YEAH!" this was when Mr Satan made his way onto the scene in the flesh, barking out his typical annoying laugh amidst massive cheers as he rushed forward and leapt straight into the arena… but then he slipped on his cape and fell flat on his ass, leaving him writing and rolling around across the arena.
"Wait hold on a second, you okay there champ?"
"Huh?" realizing he was being watched by his worshippers, he bolted back to his feet and barked out a laugh "GOTCHA!" he was met with far more cheers and laughter than he should've got, and all the while he was wincing from the comically oversized bruise he had received on the back of his head.
"I've gotta hand it to you champ, you really did have us going for a minute there. Alright then folks, since we've got a little bit of time before the preliminaries come to an end and before the Junior Division actually gets underway, please feel free to enjoy this little treat we prepared starring none other than the man and the legend himself!" this was followed by a massive blimp with a big screen on the side hovering above the arena "Now all of you prepare to feast your eyes on a cinematic retelling of the heroic deeds by our champ and savior during the Cell Games so many years ago, it's referred to as Our Savior Mr Satan, a Hero's Rise to the Peak of Glory!"
"Wait what, hold on a second who approved of this? I never gave the stamp of approval to make some crappy imitation of the Cell Games, I told that studio to leave it alone!"
"Hey come on now champ, there's no need to be so modest. If you guys want to see this reenactment then I say, MAKE SOME NOISE! Let the champ know that you want to see him in all of his glory!" this was met with massive cheers from most of the audience.
'...Well fuck it, I'm not gonna win here am I? YEAH!"
"Alright people you're getting your wish, now sit back and enjoy the good stuff!"
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Meanwhile, with the actually competent fighters…
Gohan glanced over and cringed at the huge grin that Kai had plastered across his face "Should I be ready to leave in shame when this starts playing?"
"I wouldn't count on that, if anything you're the only one who shouldn't, well unless you count the lot of them." Kai jerked a thumb at Tien, Tarble, 17 and 18 "As for everyone else, well they're all pretty much screwed."
"Yeah I figured as much, I'm used to you by now."
"You sure as hell better be, now sit back and watch." and then the movie started, revealing the low budget… well pretty much everything, starting with their Cell.
"Uh…"
"Yes that's right, I am the monster Cell, here to claim myself as your new God!"
"That's their Cell?" and that was enough for Krillin to burst out laughing.
"We will stop you Cell, your reign of terror ends here!" this was when the cheap and plasti lookalikes of Goku and the others appeared on the big screen "I have brought together with me, the greatest champions this world has to offer! You're not dealing with the average Saiyan warrior anymore! We are the hope of the omniverse! We are the lightbulb in the darkness! We are the bacon in the fridge for all living things that cry out in hunger! We are the alpha, and we are the amiga! We are the terror that flaps in the night! I am the king of the palm trees, and with me are my trusted friends and comrades, such as the Space Lizard, the Pickle Monster, and even the Prince of all!"
"Ha ha ha!" fake Cell barked out a laugh "Bring it on you ninnie!"
"How rude! Hiya!"
"Hiya!" the fake Goku and Cell then started trading pathetic blows.
Piccolo merely let out a growl "This is the biggest waste of time since Goku's wife forced me to learn how to drive. What psychotic moron wrote this crap?" then it clicked in his mind and he shot a dry and unamused look in Kai's direction.
"Hey, I might be a certified sociopath but I'm still a metric fuckton smarter than most of you guys put together!" Kai barked at him.
"And yet you don't even deny that you had a hand in this."
"All I did was give some input, at the most I'm a co-writer."
"And who would the other one be?"
"You'll see soon enough."
By this point, Cell had apparently defeated all of the Z fighters with ease "Ha ha ha, you losers all thought you were hot, but in fact you were not!"
"You are most unkind!" fake Goku was met with only a chuckle.
"Mwa ha ha ha ha, my power is maximum!"
"Hold it!" this was when another voice, a very familiar one to the relevant characters, got his attention from within a massive cloud of dust and smoke "Now tremble- (insert lots of loud coughing from the dust) Hold on I'm okay, go ahead and keep rolling. Now tremble in fear, for it is I in the flesh, the great and legendary Mr Satan himself!"
"Wait a second, that voice… is that-" Raditz looked up at the screen and his jaw dropped, and then his expression dulled considerably as he shot an annoying glare at Kai "So let me get this straight, when you were collaborating with the writer, you never bothered to mention that the writer was Nappa?"
"You didn't ask, and I wanted to see the look on your face." Kai shot him a smirk, earning various groans "What, he needed input and I wanted to see the looks on your faces. Plus you'd be surprised how well that pays.
"Now bow before me!"
"Ha, you foolish little man! Shabam!" fake Cell stepped on a button on the ground near him, engulfing fake Mr Satan in a fake explosion.
"Shabam yourself!"
"What?!" fake Cell whipped around and found fake Mr Satan standing unharmed a short distance away from him "No this can't be, how did you get so strong?!"
"My power comes to me through push ups and sit ups, and plenty of juice!"
"Oh yes, you make a good point, but then so do I!" fake Cell stepped on another button on the ground, which caused two spears to rise up in front of fake Mr Satan.
"Ha ha, think of this as the chance you stand of defeating me!" fake Mr Satan used raw physical strength, which was ungodly in the eyes of the many ignorant spectators, to snap the spears in half with one move, which left the fake Cell cowering on the ground in fear.
"No no no! You have shown me the error of my ways so I beg of you, please forgive me for my arrogant foolishness!"
"Never! Your crimes against humanity cannot go unpunhished, I shall now send you straight into the Shadow Realm! See you in HFIL!" fake Mr Satan promptly kicked fake Cell into a fake mountain.
"Mondo cool, he's so amazing!" fake Goku and the others lit up at this "His coolness level is over 9000!"
"Over 9000?! NOOOOO!" and then fake Cell promptly perished in the low budget fake explosion that followed.
"Justice shall always prevail!"
"Make sure to purchase any and all Mr Satan merchandise at your local vendor." then the screen cut out, and once the video actually ended there was a stunned silence among the group.
"Well…" Scarlet let out a chuckle "What's really important is that Cell was defeated."
"Not just that, every time they play it I get 500,000 Zeni in my name." Kai told her with a smug smirk "At this rate I'm on the fast track to retire before I hit 20."
"Huh. Impressive."
"Not just that either, it might have turned out to be shit but I say it did pretty well considering it had less of a budget going for it than the Last Airbender movie." that caused many of those present to cringe "My point exactly."
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At the same time, things are about to heat up with the kids participating in the Junior Division of the tournament.
"I've gotta make sure that I beat all of you guys so that I can meet Mr Satan and then get his autograph!"
"Oh yeah, my heart bleeds for you." Ranch just rolled his eyes.
"So what are you gonna do with the money if you win?" asked Goten.
"Oh easy, the complete DVD set of Avatar the Last Airbender. What about you?"
"I haven't really thought about that, money and stuff don't really interest me. All I really want is food."
"Our dads own a sandwich shop."
"And we get tons of them!"
"So you're set for life then."
"For now at least."
"...Fair enough."
"Well now, take a look at all of these worthless brats!" this was when a smug little punk by the name of Idasa showed up, acting smug as always did "Kicking their butts is gonna be a total sinch, and I'm not even gonna break a sweat! Now let's see here, which of these smug little shits will be the first lucky victim I get my hands on?" then he set his sights on Ranch 'Oh yeah, I think we've got a smug little girl looking like she owns the place! For all we know I'm probably gonna break her in half when I meet her in the ring, but for now it wouldn't hurt to show her what she's really up against.' and then he waltzed up to Ranch.
"So yeah, Avatar really starts to hit its stride in season 2, but the first season still had a ton of amazing episodes-" Ranch stopped her conversation and looked up at Idasa "Something I can help you with?"
"It's only right I let you know that I'm gonna be kicking your ass out there, so I'm thinking that maybe I should give you a preview." he let a fist fly but stopped short of hitting her, which left her less than impressed "Well how about it little missie, did you wet yourself?"
"No but I'm pretty sure you did, it would explain your hair color. Just go ahead and take a hide already."
"Wait what?!"
"And take that smug attitude and stupid mullet with you too."
"What the hell did you just say to me you mouthy little- You've just made a huge mistake girl, I'm gonna pound you so far into the ground they'll never find you!"
"I beg to differ, arrogance is one of the biggest reasons as to why people lose."
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Meanwhile, outside in the open area…
Once the movie had ended, the announcer continued with hyping up the crowd "And once again, that was the first showing of Our Savior Mr Satan, a Hero's Rise to the Peak of Glory! Now that that's out of the way, the time has cme for us to get the fighting started with the Junior Division of the World Martial Arts Tournament!" this was met with a massive round of cheers from most of the blind idiots in the audience.
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Meanwhile, up in the stands…
Scarlet let out a low whistle at the cheers she was hearing "People never got this hyped up about the tournament back when I was competing in it, I guess these things are a much bigger deal in this day and age. We didn't get to fight on a ring that big either."
"You say it's a big deal, but it's just one huge publicity stunt now." Kai let out a snort "A certain afro wielding douchemonkey who shall remain nameless has just up and turned the entire thing into a gigantic glorified spectacle, he even got rid of the preliminaries for the sake of that goddamn punching machine! Say what you will about me, I might be a certified sociopath."
"You've confirmed that you are a number of times now." Gohan pointed out, only to be promptly ignored.
"But at least I show respect for the craft, he doesn't even give a shit! That's part of the reason why I'm entering the tournament, to restore the good name and undo at least some of the damage he's done. Reasoning aside my path is clear, I'm gonna rip him a new one."
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At long last, now that all of our heroes are present and united, and all of the preparations have been completed, the World Martial Arts Tournament is finally underway. The young combatants of the Junior Division shall be taking the stage and prepare to face off against each other for the sake of honor, glory and a huge cash prize. Are Ranch and Goten both about to steal the show and blow everyone away? Find out next time on Dragon Ball Z: the Next Generation!
A/N:
And with this chapter, not only do we see the return of the beloved World Martial Arts Tournament, not only do we see Scarlet finally return to the land of the living, but we see sinister forces emerge in the form of Mercenary Tao and Master Shen of the Crane School, both of whom sport sinister markings on their foreheads and surprising new levels of power, even though only one of them is participating in the tournament. But it's not all doom and gloom, and we've still got a fair amount of time before we get to that. For now we're dealing with the Junior Division, or to be more accurate, the finals of the tournament, since that's the only fight that's really worth going over.
So yes, instead of Spopovich and Yamu, we're going to be getting the Majin forms of Mercenary Tao and Master Shen of the Crane School. I actually owe my decision to go through with this idea to xSonallyGirl129x. You see, in her story Rewrite the Stars, she did a chapter that focused on Tien and Chiaotzu having a final confrontation with Tao and Shen, and then killing them, because she said that she wasn't satisfied with how it had been ended in the original Dragon Ball series. To be honest, she's right. But I didn't want to just copy and paste what she did, because that would not only be wrong, but it would also be incredibly lazy on my part. So I decided to do something different, and so I came to the idea that I would have Tao and Shen be the Majins instead. As for why only Shen is taking part in the tournament, well I didn't realize until I was writing this chapter that since there are only 16 slots, I didn't have enough room to include all of the Z fighters, along with Videl, Mr Satan, and both Shen and Tao, so I decided that one of them had to go, and since Tao had pretty much made an ass out of himself in the 23rd tournament, I decided to give the spot to Shen.
Just throwing this out there, the movie reenactment of the Cell Games was based on the one that was done by Team Four Star, but modified to fit with this story, and just for fun and to make sense of the sheer absurdity of it, I made it so the script was written by none other than our favorite sociopath, Kai. The link to that video is right here, so go ahead and have a look. watch?v=BS-HiOzcjJg&t=31s
For the record, I didn't bother using any sort of power level list for this chapter since, to put it simply, nothing happened in this chapter that actually required or prompted the use of power levels. I'll be bringing them back next chapter though, because that's when the action actually gets started.
Before I close this chapter out, I just wanted to apologize for taking so long to get this chapter out, about a month and a half by my estimates. I keep trying to balance out between my various stories, especially now that it's summer vacation, but seeing how that's not going to last for much longer, my schedule is going to be filled up pretty fast. Be patient with me though, I'm still going to go through this story all the way to the end.
Power levels:
Kai: 1 billion
Gohan: 4 billion
Goku: 3.8 billion
Tarble: 3.4 billion
Raditz: 3.8 billion
Yamcha: 200 million
Tien: 200 million
Krillin: 175 million
Cooler: 45 billion
Android 17: 2 billion
Android 18: 2 billion
Weighted Piccolo: 60 billion
Videl: 7.5 million
Mr Satan: 25
Majin Mercenary Tao: 20 million
Majin Shen: 20 million