The After
Chapter One
"The First Days of the Rest of Our Lives"
Rick stepped back from his family's embrace and wiped at the drying tracks of water on his cheeks as his eyes scanned the wide-open space of the meadow. The euphoria of the moment, convincing himself it was real and he hadn't dreamt it all up, coupled with the anxiety of seeing his kids had put a pause on all logic. But his latent fatherly instincts were coming back in full force now. "You two come out here alone?" asked Rick, around the lump still in his throat.
"Of course not!" He heard a woman's out-of-breath voice say from behind. "They got a head start." When his head whipped around, he spotted a short-haired Carol, and Ezekiel, looking just as Rick remembered him looking—grand and outwardly jovial. The two of them jogged toward The Grimes family.
Rick reluctantly detangled from his wife and daughter first, then gave RJ one last squeeze. His son allowed Rick to remove his arms from around his middle but grabbed his hand and held on tight as Rick jogged to meet Carol in an embrace. He felt a fresh wave of tears agitate his ducts at the warmth of the woman he'd journeyed alongside ever since the world had turned upside down. They'd been through it and she'd saved his ass more times than he could keep track of.
"How foolish of me, huh?" Carol said near his ear, her shaky voice was a wisp in the air. "Thinking you'd go down without a fight." Her unbelief was palpable. She drew back and placed her hands on either side of his face, her eyes watery.
"Well, it... it was touch and go there for a minute, but..." Rick glanced off to the side, where his wife stood embracing Ezekiel. "She wasn't gonna be denied."
"Oh, I don't doubt that."
"Thank you... for looking after them."
"It's what we do."
He nodded, staring at her a moment longer.
"My brother!" Ezekiel's deep voice boomed. He approached with arms outstretched as Carol hurried around to greet Michonne. "Welcome back!" He wrapped his arms around Rick.
"Ah, it's good to see you, Ezekiel."
Ezekiel pulled back and stared at Rick for a beat, his smile as wide as his eyes, and then slapped Rick's shoulder. "Wow, just... wow."
It was something Rick would have to get used to, he figured, people looking at him as if he'd been raised from the dead.
"Where's Daryl?" Michonne asked.
And Rick thought: shit, yeah, where's Daryl? He caught Carol's tight face before she quickly relaxed it and forced a smile.
"There's a lot we need to talk about. But, how about we get you two settled first, huh?"
Rick exchanged a look with Michonne; the worry on his wife's face was surely a mirror of his own.
"There's the cake shop! Aunt Carol takes us there sometimes if we get good grades!" RJ, who hadn't let his father's hand go since they'd left the meadow, was at risk of vibrating right out of his skin. His eyes darted between Rick and Michonne, who walked alongside Judith—they had an arm around each other's waist. Carol and Ezekiel walked a few paces ahead.
RJ pointed at the red-painted building, with decorated cakes displayed in the window, and Michonne's stomach growled. She hadn't eaten since she'd left The Civic Republic four hours prior, too anxious, on the flight over, to tear open the three-ring labeled snacks she'd stashed in her bag.
They strolled through the busy streets of The Commonwealth's City Center, the epicenter of commerce. Shops. Restaurants. She even spotted a bank. She couldn't get over how much it resembled The Civic Republic. Though the CR was years ahead of this place, it was yet another piece of the world she couldn't have imagined, cementing an ever-growing truth in her mind: the world was so much bigger than they knew.
Between taking in the sights and sounds of a bustling weekday, Michonne exchanged overwhelmed looks with her husband and stole glances at her kids, who'd grown way too fast.
"And there's our school." Judith pointed at a big brown building, between where the strip of stores stopped and the neighborhood of duplexes began. 'Commonwealth Academy', the sign above the building read. "I'm on the debate team," she said with pride.
"Why does that not surprise me?" Michonne squeezed Judith's side.
"Doesn't surprise me either," said Rick. "Like mama, like daughter." He winked at Michonne and fit her with a sexy, widespread grin, his gaze lingering.
Her heart skipped a beat. God, whoever said absence made the heart grow fonder, left out the part about it also making the loins burn hotter. The only way she knew to describe their physical connection now was insatiable. She thought seven years without his touch had been torture, but it was nothing compared to being in his presence without his hand on her body.
"I'm the only girl on the team," Judith said, interrupting her thoughts.
Michonne peeled her eyes away from Rick, and they dropped to Judith. "I know you're giving those boys a run for their money."
Judith grinned up at her. "Yup. My coach says I could be the captain next year."
"That's my girl."
"This is you," Carol stopped them in front of a two-story narrow lot duplex: painted blue with a staircase leading up to a wooden door. "Your new home. Hope it's okay."
"This..." Rick squinted at it and tilted his head to the side. "Is all ours?"
"The kids have been living with Carol in her apartment," Ezekiel said. "But as soon as we knew you were coming home, we got to work finding the perfect place for the four of you. This one's been empty for months." He elbowed Rick. "Like it was waiting for you or something."
Rick gave a half-hearted laugh, before shooting Michonne a knit eyebrowed expression. She didn't have to guess what her man was thinking. To them, The Commonwealth was a pit stop on the way to Alexandria. Pick their kids up and go home. But the excited looks on RJ and Judith's faces said their kids had different plans.
Michonne shook her head slightly. Not now, she thought loudly, hoping he could read her expression.
He gave her a subtle nod.
"Can we go in, now?!" RJ yanked on his father's arm. "We've got a surpri—"
"Shhh." Judith's finger flew to her mouth.
Michonne held back a chuckle; God, she'd missed these two. "I'm dying to see what it looks like inside." She gave Rick a look that said, play along. "What about you, Daddy?"
"Uh, yeah. I am too." He bent down in front of RJ and adjusted the hat the wind had blown off his head slightly. "You wanna show us around?"
RJ nodded enthusiastically.
"We'll leave you guys to it," said Carol. "Oh, and there are people eager to meet you two—see you again. Didn't wanna overwhelm you as soon as you arrived. Is tonight too soon?"
"What'd you have in mind?" Rick asked.
"Just a small get-together. Here."
"Casual," said Ezekiel.
"We'd all bring something so you don't have to worry about cooking. And that way you have leftovers for a little while. "
Michonne shrugged. "I'm cool with that." She glanced at Rick.
"That sounds fine," he said.
"Great. I left some clothes—everything you might need in your room." Carol hugged Michonne, then Rick. "We'll talk tonight when everyone leaves."
Michonne did her best to ignore the eerie tone of her voice. There was so much she didn't know, and even more that Rick didn't. Back in Philadelphia, they'd been single-minded, focused on getting home. There hadn't been a right moment to tell him about Siddiq, Tara, or the others. But she'd follow Carol's lead; now was still not the time.
Daryl's okay. Rosita's okay. Aaron's okay… They're all okay. She repeated it to herself as their kids dragged them by the arms—eyes closed, as instructed—up the stairs and into the house. A breeze of warmth washed over her as soon as she stepped in from the nip in the early winter air.
"Okay, don't open them yet," Judith said, positioning them beside each other, just inside the doorway.
Rick's fingers found Michonne's. She squeezed his hand and set the other on his bicep.
"Alright. On the count of three," Judith said, and then the kids counted together, "One. Two. Three!"
Michonne's eyes popped open and tears immediately welled as she took in the surprise. The narrow, foyer hallway they stood at the top of, had been turned into a makeshift gallery. Artwork and Polaroid pictures from the years were plastered all over. Michonne and Rick walked hand in hand down the hallway and appraised their respective sides. She paused at a picture of the four of them standing in front of their house in Alexandria, with RJs initials scribbled at the bottom. She ran her hand over the sticky crayon residue as her eyes bounced to a handwritten essay with a red 'A' and Judith's name marked on it.
"Michonne," she heard Rick say from behind. "Look at this."
She stepped in beside where he stood staring at a collage of photos from the past two years. Judith and RJ in Halloween costumes. Judith and RJ dressed in their school uniforms. Judith and RJ making a funny face at the camera. Michonne's eyes scanned over every last one and once again, she felt her emotions surfacing when she noticed her kids were together in every photo. The ache in her chest—the one that had risen when the time away had smacked her in the face as she'd laid eyes on them in that meadow—eased a little at the realization that they'd always had each other.
"What do you think?" Judith asked.
Rick and Michonne turned to where the two stood with an arm around each other's shoulders, beneath a hung-up handmade sign that read, 'Welcome home, Mom and Dad!'
Michonne rushed toward them and wrapped them up in her arms. "It's perfect." A second later, she felt Rick envelope them all.
"It's just... perfect," he seconded.
The house reminded Rick of a condensed version of their home in Alexandria, with nearly the same layout but less space. Out of the hallway they were met with a living room, more artfully decorated than their old house, and an adjoining open-concept, fully supplied kitchen with a huge island at the center. A guest room was tucked away beneath the stairs. And on the second floor were three bedrooms: The primary in the middle with Judith and RJ on either side.
His kids had already made themselves at home in their rooms. Judith had posters of notable women in history on her wall: Rosa Parks, Sally Ride, and Maya Angelou. He noticed a record player, a stack of vinyls and books, and scatters of girly things. He didn't spy any makeup, which he'd been grateful for, though he figured those days were not far off.
What Rick would give to be able to rewind time. Go back to the days when her biggest concern was playtimes and dodging naps. He found it difficult to associate the toddler he'd left with the preteen now in front of him. The sting of the years lanced through his heart and he felt the pain of everything he'd missed, the most when she opened her mouth and proved how mature she was—far beyond her years.
RJ was a different story; Rick had had no frame of reference for his son. But the moment he'd laid eyes on him it'd been chilling just how familiar he felt.
And he'd been prepared for reticence from his son. After all, he was as good as a mythical figure—The Brave Man—come to life. The protagonist of the stories told to him by his mother and sister. But RJ had touched Rick's heart when he'd wrapped his arms around him and held on tight.
How had he almost not come home?
No, don't do that. No regrets. We made it. He heard Michonne's voice in his head. It's what she'd said to him on the plane when his guilt had reared its ugly head. He'd made so many mistakes, but he'd also made it home, that's what Michonne had told him mattered the most.
Rick and Michonne left RJ and Judith in their bedrooms, to get dressed for dinner, and sauntered hand in hand into their room. They stopped just inside the doorway and surveyed the space: similar to the rest of the house, the room was expertly decorated with beige, modern, industrial furnishings.
"This is..." he began.
"Not at all what I was expecting," she finished, with exactly what he'd been about to say.
It reminded him of the apartment they'd holed up in after she'd hauled him out of that plane; he wasn't sure how he felt about the similarity.
On one hand, he'd had the best sex of his life in that place, but it'd been preceded by the worst argument they'd ever had. He was home, but how did he square the mistakes he'd made on the journey to get here? The words that couldn't be unsaid, the things he'd done to her that couldn't be undone?
"Hey." Michonne stepped in front of him and slid her arms around his waist. "You okay?"
He nodded and tried a smile, not wanting to put a damper on the mood.
"It's okay if you're not. I feel it too. It'll take some getting used to. Being back in this life. But we'll get there. Together."
Rick pressed his mouth to hers and stayed there a moment, he still couldn't get over the feel of her lips on his. He'd taken every opportunity he'd gotten since they'd laid eyes on each other again, to taste her, but it still hadn't been enough. He wondered if it ever would be.
Michonne broke the lock of their lips. She slipped her tongue inside his mouth and his body ignited. The duffle on his shoulder fell to the floor and he slid his hand around her back, to slip it beneath her tank top.
When he pressed into Michonne, she leaned away. "The kids are gonna come looking for us soon," she said in a breathy voice.
"Yeah..." He buried his face in her neck.
"Think you can hold out until tonight?" A smile played at the corner of her mouth.
"If I gotta."
Michonne gently patted his cheek. "Good." She gave him a parting peck and moved to the nightstand, slid it open. "Carol wasn't lying when she said this house had everything we needed." She riffled through, found a floral dress, and held it up.
Rick grunted and plopped onto the edge of the bed. "We gonna talk about what this house means?"
Michonne turned to face him and leaned against the dresser with crossed arms. "They have a life here, Rick. Friends. A good school. Extracurricular activities." The way her eyes turned up to the ceiling as she listed it all off, it seemed she was trying to convince herself.
"Yeah. Doesn't feel right pulling them away from all that."
"But Alexandria's home..." Her eyes met his. "It's where Carl is."
Bingo. Rick's gaze fell to the carpet; he stared at it. "I will say though, if I've learned anything, being away from the kids..." His misted eyes met hers again. "Being away from you... it's that home is wherever my family is."
She smiled. "We don't have to decide now. Let's just enjoy tonight. Enjoy our kids. Our family and friends."
"That sounds like a plan."
"Princess?" Rick repeated, shaking the smiley woman's hand.
"Yeah. Juanita—that's my Government name. But call me whatever feels right. And this is my boo thang, Michael."
Rick's eyes shifted to the strapping, stoic black man a few inches taller than him.
"It's an honor to meet you both," Michael said. He shook Rick's hand and then Michonne's, who stood beside him in the entryway, where they'd been stationed the past thirty minutes greeting a steady inflow of strangers—people who knew their kids or Carol or Ezekiel—and were now cramped inside every open space of the first floor, mingling and eating. On the kitchen counter was enough food to feed a small army.
"We've heard so many stories about what the two of you did," Michael said. "In Georgia and Virginia and now Philadelphia."
"And you're Ezekiel's Deputy, right?" Michonne asked. The kids had quickly filled them in on the new friends who meant most to them before their guests had arrived.
"That's right."
"Princess! You came." Judith walked down the hallway, looking beautiful. Too beautiful, he'd thought when he'd seen a blond-haired boy her age staring at her a little too intently when the kid had been chatting her up. She wore a baby blue dress and denim jacket, and her hair was swept into a half up half down ponytail.
Judith hugged Princess and Fist-pumped Michael. She motioned for the casserole dish in Princess' hands. Ever the gracious host, she said, "I'll show you where to put that. Follow me." She'd been running around the party since the first guest arrived, making introductions and checking everyone was comfortable. While RJ was tucked away in a corner passionately playing a handheld video game with a couple of friends whose names had been lost in the sea of others Rick had heard that night. Now and then Rick would steal a glance at his son and just stare in awe at what he and his wife had created.
Michonne rested her chin on his shoulder and linked her arms across his chest as they watched Judith walk away with the two new guests. "I can't get over how grown she is. When I left she was—she did not look like that."
"Least we still got a few more years left before she's ready to fly the coop... or date." He turned his head slightly, his serious face inches from hers. "You see that boy talking to her earlier?"
"I did," Michonne said, pressing her lips together. "He's cute."
Rick groaned.
They both turned at the door opening again and for the first time all night, it was someone they recognized.
"Eugene..." Michonne hurried toward the man. "It's so damn good to see you."
"Not as good as it is to see you." He leaned back from the embrace to get a good look at her. "You are truly a sight for sore eyes. I've never been so sure I'd see a long lost as I was that I'd see you again." His eyes shifted just over her shoulder, to Rick. He stared in disbelief, then glanced back at Michonne as if confirming he indeed was seeing things right.
She nodded her head in confirmation.
Eugene separated from her and moved toward him. Wordless, for the first time since Rick had met the man, Eugene rushed Rick and crushed him with a bear hug. "As it concerns you—" His voice broke when a sob escaped. "My faith was in short supply. I offer you my sincerest apologies for doubting the Rick Grimes."
Rick patted his back. "No need to apologize, Eugene."
"Honey, are you gonna introduce us?" Standing in the doorway was a woman with glasses holding a little girl who bore a striking resemblance to Eugene, and even more so to the woman holding her.
"Oh. My manners seemed to have momentarily left me." Wiping his eyes, Eugene shuffled to stand beside the woman and child. "Rick. Michonne. This here is my wife, Maxine."
Rick raised his eyebrows: a little stunned, a little impressed. How had Eugene managed to pull that off?
"It is such a pleasure to meet the both of you," she said, sweetly. "I've heard so much about you two from Eugene. You're an inspiration. So glad you're both home safe."
"Good to meet you," Rick said, giving her a wave and nod.
"And who is this?" Michonne asked, smiling at the little girl.
"This here is Rosie," Eugene said.
Michonne's smile faltered and her eyes went to Eugene. "Rosie?" she breathed. "As in..."
Eugene nodded, solemnly. "We named her after her Aunt Rosita."
Rick stepped in beside Michonne, her expression suddenly fraught with grief. He placed a supportive hand on the small of her back. "I'm sorry," he whispered. On the road, she'd told him of the people whose care she'd left the kids in. Rosita had been one of them.
"It was a couple of years ago," Eugene said. "It was peaceful and Coco was there by her side."
"We all were," said Maxine.
Michonne wiped at a tear that slipped from her eye. "Coco's okay?"
"Safe as houses, in Alexandria with Gabriel. And growing like a weed."
She blew out a breath. "Anyone else from home we should be expecting tonight?"
"Connie, Kelly, Magna, & Yumiko should be here posthaste."
Rick looked at Michonne. Who?
"They came to Alexandria years after the bridge," she said.
"But the rest of the regulars—Aaron, Gabriel, Jerry, and the others—they're all back in Alexandria," said Eugene. "They wanted to come, but Carol thought it'd be too much. She assured them you two would be by to visit as soon as you could."
"And Daryl?" Rick asked.
Eugene hesitated.
Rick's suspicion grew; why couldn't he get a straight answer from anyone concerning his brother? He took solace in knowing that if he were dead, they would have already said.
When Eugene opened his mouth to speak, the door swung open again, and through it burst Maggie.
"She what?!" Rick's tumbler froze on his lips mid-drink. If he'd managed to take a sip of whisky before Maggie had dropped the bomb of his daughter being shot by the former leader of The Commonwealth, he might have spit it out.
Michonne set her hand on her husband's knee, but she was no less horrified.
They sat on one side of the dining room table, with Maggie and Carol on the other. The welcome party had been over for hours and the kids played board games with Herschel, in the living room.
Maggie and Carol had taken turns filling them in on everything: The Whisperers, The Reapers, the struggles in Alexandria, the battle at The Commonwealth, and Pamela Milton. How had so much shit happened in two years?
"To be fair," Carol mumbled. "I don't think she intended the bullet for Judith."
"She decided to pick up that gun and fire." Maggie downed the last drops of liquor in her glass before she slammed it on the table. "That bullet wasn't meant for Judith, but it coulda hit any of us," she bit out.
Why had Judith even been there in the first place? Michonne wanted to ask, but fear of sounding ungrateful kept her tight-lipped. These people had watched over her children, without thinking twice. A sidelong glance at Rick, who shook his bowed head slightly, and she knew his train of thought was on the same track as hers.
"So this woman..." Rick's voice was almost a growl. "Pamela Milton," he spit her name out like it tasted bad in his mouth. "Where is she now?"
"I had the chance to kill her... but I didn't." Maggie met Rick's eyes. "Someone once showed me killin', no matter how justified it might be, isn't always the way."
Rick's face relaxed. He nodded slowly, a small smile playing at the corner of his lips. "So..." Rick shifted in his seat. "What about Negan?"
"He's free," Carol said. "A few years now. He went away with his wife and—"
"Wait, someone married that guy?" The words tumbled from Michonne's head and out of her mouth, unchecked, and caused a round of titters from Maggie and Carol.
"She was pregnant," Maggie dished. "She's way too good for him if you ask me."
Michonne leaned back in her chair and blew out a breath. "Love'll make you do some crazy shit," she said, glancing at Rick.
"Lucky for me," he said. And then they were in their own world again. Eyes fixed on each other, with Maggie and Carol forgotten for a few seconds.
"Alright, we've told you everythin'. It's your turn," Maggie said firmly, bursting their bubble. "I wanna know about The Civic Republic. I saw some of their soldiers bringing in supplies. Their gear, it's impressive. How big is the army? How do they farm? What kind of crops do they grow?"
Michonne opened her mouth but Rick spoke first.
"Where's Daryl?" He said pointedly, in Carol's direction.
Her eyes fell to the glass in her hands. "Daryl's been going out there. Looking for answers about how this all started and what might happen next."
"I asked him to," Maggie said. "He's been doin' it for a couple years now."
"He goes out for a while," said Carol. "Then comes home to recoup and re-up on supplies. He never spends more than a month at a time out there." She lifted her worried eyes. "Three months ago, I got a transmission from him. Saying he was on his way back, that he'd be home in a week."
"Maybe he found something," Michonne said. "Something that kept him gone for longer."
"He would have found a way to let me know. He always does."
"Have any ideas?" Rick asked, and Michonne didn't love the edge in his voice.
"No—just a place to start... Maine."
"You're going," Michonne said, observing the resolute look on her face. Carol's mind had been made up well before they'd arrived, she was sure.
"In two days. I wanted to see you two before I left."
Rick's hand slid beneath Michonne's top. His mouth pressed firmly against her soft lips, as he guided her to the bed. She'd managed to get his shirt off; he now wore only his boxers, but Michonne was still fully dressed in her tank top and pajama shorts. He was on a mission to change that.
Rick moaned when her fingers slid behind his neck and into his hair, gently grabbing a handful. His hand had found the hook of her bra when he reached the end of the bed. He effortlessly unclipped it, before nudging her onto the mattress and falling on top. Their lips never parted. She sighed and his body instinctively grinded into hers, deepening the kiss.
Damn, he'd missed this.
Rick pried his lips off hers and gave her a small smile before settling his mouth at the base of her neck for a soft kiss. Then another on her collarbone. And another at the cleft of her breast. Moving down further, he rained kisses over her tank top, until he reached the hem.
Rick pushed her shirt up. Kissed his way up the exposed skin of her stomach and just as he was about to get to her breast, he froze at a knock at the door.
"Mom? Dad?" It was Judith. "It's me and RJ."
Rick locked eyes with Michonne for a beat, then shared a quiet, disbelieving laugh with her. He rolled off of her and onto his back, wiping his hand over his face. As Michonne got herself together and walked to the door, Rick focused on cooling his aroused body. Tugged his t-shirt back on.
He scooted to the edge of the bed when Michonne opened the door to the kids, whose pouty faces were comically put on.
"Can we sleep with you tonight?" Judith asked. She glanced down at her brother, who was quiet until she nudged him.
"Please..." he pouted.
Michonne glanced over her shoulder, looking like she was about to burst into laughter at any moment. I'm sorry, she mouthed, though she didn't look too put off by the interruption. She held the door open wider.
"By the last time I tried, I was just so desperate," Rick said, hours later. He lay on one side of the bed, facing his family, who lay enraptured by the stories of his escape attempts. Over the covers, and the kids in between them, Rick's hand was interlocked with Michonne's.
His eyes slipped closed, his mind traveling back to that day. He'd planned it out for weeks and hadn't been sure he'd be able to go through with it until the blade had sliced through his skin and bones, and a pain like no other he'd experienced before lanced through his arm. There'd been no going back after that. "I just wanted to get back home."
"You cut off your hand?" Judith asked softly. "Trying to get home?"
He opened his eyes and they connected with his daughter's, over RJ's head. "It was the only way."
She frowned. "I hate you had to do that."
"I don't regret it, sweetheart. If only to know I did everything to get home to you." He looked at RJ and smiled tenuously. "And you."
"What happened after that?" RJ inquired.
"Well... a friend of mine—Esteban. He convinced me I'd have a better chance at getting away if I joined the military."
Michonne propped up onto her elbow, her face scrunched in curiosity. This was new to her. Rick hadn't told her the nitty gritty of his life in The Civic Republic.
"It was all I had left. So I joined. They taught me how to fight and fly and—"
"You know how to fly!" The kids asked in unison.
"I do." And for that, he was grateful. If only to impress his children.
"He's pretty good at it, too," Michonne added.
"You flew Mom?" Judith asked him, her wonderstruck gaze bouncing between Rick and Michonne.
He nodded.
"That's so cool." She stared at the ceiling, then settled back on her side to face Rick. "So you learned how to fly and then you tried to escape again with a plane, right?" she asked, as if guessing the plot of an action flick.
"No, I tried something else, with the help of my friend Esteban." Thorne's face flashed in his mind and his jaw clenched. With Thorne, he'd broken the rule he'd made for himself early on in his time in The Civic Republic: don't get close to anyone. Esteban had broken through his barrier first and then over time Thorne had too. They'd been lost in the same way, only she'd had no one to bring her back in the way Rick had. He wished things with her had gone differently, that she hadn't had to die. "That plan didn't work out either," he said, glossing over the details. There were things he wasn't ready to talk about and she was one of those things. "That was the last time I tried..." He trailed off.
Michonne gave his hand a supportive squeeze.
He opened his mouth again and closed it, hesitant to go on. How did he tell them that he'd given up on them? That he'd chosen to die to himself and take up the enemy's cause.
It's the truth. And Michonne had shown him that truth was the fastest way to freedom.
He met each of their eyes: RJ, Judith, and then he settled on Michonne's. "I lost faith for a little bit. Being in there... it was hard to hold onto the hope that I'd get back here. And if I couldn't be with you, I was gonna do everything I could to keep you safe." His gaze dropped to the kids. "When your mom found me, I almost didn't go home with her," he admitted.
"Why?" RJ asked and Rick heard no judgment in his son's innocent voice, just genuine curiosity.
"Rick," Michonne whispered. "You don't have to."
He wanted it all in the light, the good and the bad, so it had no hold on him. "I need to..." Rick thought through his next words for a beat and tried to find an age-appropriate way to explain them. "I didn't wanna leave with her because I was scared. Scared of losing this again. But your mom reminded me that my life is worth nothing without love. Without my family. She reminded me of who I am. Who we were. And that every day, right here, with you, is worth it."
Judith turned her head to look up at Michonne; on her face was pure pride for her mother.
"Trust me," Michonne said to her, a tremble in her voice. "I wasn't coming home without him."
Michonne woke in the middle of the night to Rick's side of the bed empty. She sat up and surveyed the room. He was nowhere in sight. She noticed the door was cracked open and, careful not to wake the kids, peeled back the covers.
On her way down the stairs, Michonne spotted Rick, through the front door's narrow window, sitting on the front steps.
She stepped outside. "Baby?"
Rick turned his head slightly. "Did I wake you?"
"No." Michonne walked down the steps to sit beside him and hooked her arm around his. Snuggled against his side. "Still trying to figure out how to sleep right," she said.
He grunted his agreement.
They were quiet for a while, staring at the empty neighborhood. She welcomed the silence. Her most recent days had been filled with the overwhelming sounds of helicopter rotors, explosions, and gunfire.
And it was crazy how, closed in behind the walls of this community, with its ridiculously dressed soldiers patrolling the gates, she now felt freer than she did out there. She thought back to before the bridge and how she'd felt so caged in by the life she now craved.
"I keep thinking about Daryl," Rick said. "All those years he was out there looking for me when you couldn't..."
Michonne instantly knew and did not like one bit where this was headed. Still, she listened.
"It feels wrong to send Carol out there, on her own, to find him." He glanced at her, out of the corner of his eye, measuring her reaction.
Michonne kept her face neutral. "You wanna go?" She braced for his answer and the argument bound to follow, because there was no way in hell Michonne was letting him leave again.
"No," he said with conviction, surprising her. "I meant what I told you on base... that was the last time we'd be apart. I won't ever leave you and the kids again. But..."
"It's Daryl."
"Yeah."
"And it's Carol," she assured, laying her head on his shoulder. "I found you, Rick. She'll find him."
"Mornin'."
Michonne glanced over her shoulder to find Maggie walking into the kitchen the next morning. "How'd you sleep?"
Maggie yawned and leaned back against the counter opposite the stove where Michonne fried the eggs and bacon she'd found in the fridge, among the piles of leftovers from the get-together. "Fine. But Herschel's a pretty wild sleeper. Ended up makin' a palette on the floor."
"Oh. We can put him in with RJ tonight."
"Won't be necessary. We're leavin' this afternoon."
"So soon?"
"The train only goes out to Virginia every few days."
Michonne nodded and turned back to the pan. "I wish we had more time with you two, but I get it." She carried the pan to the counter, where a stack of plates sat.
Maggie spread the plates out as Michonne divided the eggs between them.
"We'll stop by when we go to Alexandria," Michonne said.
Maggie was quiet.
Michonne studied her while dishing the food. Things were good with them, not the same as before, but still good. Yeah, there was a lot of water under the bridge, but none of it seemed to matter anymore. Or so Michonne had thought. "Unless you don't want us to."
Maggie sighed. She ran her fingers through her hair and leaned on the counter. "Hilltop hasn't been doin' great."
Michonne set the pan down and crossed her arms. "What's going on?"
"It's like runnin' on a mouse wheel, tryna keep up with repairs. And what we're able to do—it's just temporary fixes. Barrington House is pretty much inhabitable at this point. My people are gettin' fed up—well, more than they already were. We've lost a lot of 'em already. And I don't blame 'em. How can I? When even I want better for Herschel?"
"A friend I met out there, he told me... you gotta know when to go." She narrowed her eyes. "Is it time to go?"
Maggie stared off into the distance. "I think it might be."
"It's not like before, Maggie. You have options now... I mean this place is—"
"No."
"Okay... then Alexandria?"
She shook her head. "When I was with Georgie, after that last community fell, I felt so responsible for all those lives. I came back and promised myself I wouldn't do it again. Think it's why I held onto the Hilltop for so long, too long. It felt safe... I knew that if that place went to shit I'd at least have Alexandria to fall back on. My people would have somewhere to go." Maggie pushed off the counter. "Seein' you risk everythin' to go after Rick. Seein' you win like you did... It made me remember why I went with Georgie in the first place. I wanna be out there, again, buildin' the world back up."
"And you can."
"It means leavin' again."
"If that's what you feel you need to do... But don't think you have to do it all alone. Like I said, it's not like it was before. We're not together anymore, but that doesn't change what we are. We're still family. So when you go, don't be afraid to come back, if you ever need to."
Maggie nodded, contemplating Michonne's words. She looked around the house. "So this is home, then?"
"We haven't decided yet." Michonne sighed. "We have to talk to the kids. Figure out what they want."
"You already know what they're gonna say."
"Yeah..."
"Your hearts are still in Alexandria, I get that. But it's like you said, you gotta know when to go."
"You have everything you need?" Rick handed RJ and Judith their backpacks at the front of the school building, where parents and kids said their goodbyes.
"Yup." Judith slid her backpack on.
"You sure?"
"We do this every day, Dad," said RJ.
"Right." It was only the first day of school for Rick.
It'd been the most surreal morning he'd had in a long time. After eating breakfast as a family and saying their goodbyes to Maggie and Hershel, he'd packed their lunches, while the kids had gotten ready for school. He and Michonne had moved around each other as she'd cleaned up breakfast—he'd stolen a kiss every chance he got. They were like newlyweds and new parents all at the same time.
And when RJ had brought him a paper to sign, from his teacher, and he read the line that said, 'parent/guardian signature', he just about teared up. Mornings like this were what he'd daydreamed of, laying alone in the bed inside his CRM apartment.
Their duplex was only a block from the school, so the walk wasn't long, but the whole way there, Judith and RJ had piled on the questions: "What are you guys doing today?" and "Can we go get ice cream after school?" They could have asked for a pony and Rick would have figured out how to make that happen. He owed his kids the world for the time they'd lost, but two scoops would have to do for now.
Rick placed his hand on his hips and gave them his most serious face. "I packed you both an extra cookie in your lunch. But make sure to eat the veggies first."
"Okay..." said Judith.
And RJ at the same time said, "Okay, Dad."
Rick smiled down at them. It hadn't been lost on him that RJ went out of his way to call him Dad, even when it didn't warrant it. "Sure, Dad." "Dad, can you pass the salt?" "Thanks, Dad." "Are you serious, Dad?"He was sure the newness of finally having a father would wear off for his son, but Rick would enjoy it for as long as it lasted.
"Time to go," Michonne said, taking Judith in her arms while Rick hugged RJ. They switched and said their 'I love you's' then the kids were off, running into the building.
Rick took Michonne's hand and they stood there watching them until they disappeared inside.
They walked through the community all morning and doubled back to The City Center, hours later, for lunch at an open-air cafe, Vienna on the Terrace.
The young, friendly waitress set two steaming plates of chicken Alfredo in front of them.
Michonne's mouth watered at the smell alone. She hadn't had a plate of food this thoughtfully prepared in... God, she couldn't even remember. "Thank you…"
"Thanks," Rick said.
"Of course, let me know if you need anything else. And don't worry about payment, Ezekiel's already covered the tab." She walked away.
Rick waited until she walked away to say, "It's weird, innit? Being waited on? Sitting down at a restaurant, like before."
"So weird." She grabbed her fork and dug in, losing all regard for her husband sitting across from her. When she came back up for air, a few bites later, Rick watched her with an amused smile.
"How is it?" He asked.
"So. Damn. Good." She took a bite out of a breadstick. "Shit." She moaned. "If you want one of these, I suggest you get one now, cause I might just take down that entire basket." She eyed the breadsticks.
He chuckled. "You know... this place reminds me of this Italian spot Carl loved, from before."
"Yeah?" Michonne had noticed it was easier for him to talk about Carl nowadays; she was grateful. The memory of Carl had felt untouchable before.
"They had the best food, but I swear he'd only eat the breadsticks. Refused to eat anything else."
She plucked another piece of bread from the basket. "A kid after my own heart."
Rick looked around. "He would have loved this place. Wish he could have lived to see this."
"Yeah, I do too."
"So, what do you think of this place?"
"It's everything we ever wanted for them. I just wonder... where do you and I fit in here?" It was easy to imagine sliding back into their lives in Alexandria, even after all the years. To pick up where they'd left off, building that place up. "It'd be a complete fresh start here."
"That sounds kinda nice," said Rick.
She tilted her head. "What do you mean?"
"To everyone here, we're just Judith and RJ's parents. That's all I wanna be." He smiled a little. "And Michonne's husband, of course."
"I like the sound of that."
Rick sat up straighter. "And Ezekiel approached me yesterday during the welcome party. Said The Civic Republic is givin' 'em a couple Chinooks and helicopters. He wants me to head up a flight training program at the university."
"Well, shit." She set her fork down. "That's perfect for you."
"Yeah, I thought so too."
"Since we're sharing." Michonne took a sip of her water. "Yumiko—she was someone who came to Alexandria just before I left—you met her yesterday. Anyways, she's an attorney here. And apparently, those are in short supply nowadays."
"She wants you to join?" He asked, stunned.
"Yeah," she laughed.
He slid a hand across the table and she set hers inside. "We can do this. We can start over. We can make a life here."
"We can."
They told the kids that night of their decision. RJ and Judith were beyond ecstatic.
And when the kids were sound asleep in their bed, Rick and Michonne snuck downstairs to the guest room to finally get some time between the sheets.
"Michonne!"
She walked into the Commonwealth Law Offices dressed in a high-waisted, wide-legged, beige pantsuit Judith had helped her pick out from the consignment shop in The City Center, two days later.
The Grimes family had sent Carol off earlier that morning. It'd been hard on them all, but most difficult for RJ and Judith. Rick had lobbied for them to stay home from school so they could hang out with their dad for the day.
Michonne had left them getting ready for an afternoon in the park and as she'd walked out the door, watching them pack the picnic basket and gather footballs and kites, she'd been tempted to call in on her first day.
"Hey, Yumiko." She hugged the woman.
"I'm so glad you accepted my offer." Yumiko motioned towards an open door. "Step into my office."
"You were a practicing attorney before?"
"I was."
"What kind?"
"Started in corporate. Then when I realized what soulless work it was, I made the leap to criminal defense."
"That is quite a leap."
"It was..." Michonne's head slowly bounced from one side to the other. "I dropped out of college because I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life. I started working at the Legal Aid Society, for no reason other than to make some money. And seeing the disparity of proper representation for people who couldn't afford it, I knew I had to do something. I went back to school, then went to law school, and then I got lured in by the dollar signs. It took me some time to find my way back to why I went into law in the first place. Before the start, I worked at this tiny practice that was almost strictly pro bono. But I was happier there—defending the rights of regular people—than I was pushing paperwork for mergers and acquisitions so the rich could get richer."
A smile spread across Yumiko's face. "You're gonna fit right in, here."
"How many other attorneys?"
"Five, including myself. And one Judge. You'll meet everyone tomorrow. The courts are open for only a handful of days during the week. Today is one of them. So, they are all trying cases."
"Over fifty thousand survivors here, how do you keep up?"
"It can be a lot. But the level of crime here is relatively low, so it evens things out. I'm the only one with criminal defense experience, so my plate tends to be a bit fuller. It's why I'm especially excited you're here."
"The other night, you mentioned something about a teaching component?"
"Ah, yes. I don't know if you know anything about The Commonwealth University?"
"I've only heard of it. They've asked Rick to teach flight courses there."
"It's rather small right now, but this year marks the first year for the law school. There's a class of five young minds eager to join the profession. I, and the others, teach on a rotation. A few night classes each week. It'd be an expectation that you would too."
Michonne shifted in her chair. "My family's my priority, Yumiko. So, If I take this job I can commit to giving my all to every client and case, but I won't make it my life. Nights and weekends are theirs. If that doesn't work for you, I understand, and I'll find another way to contribute here."
Yumiko stared at her for a moment, then nodded slowly. "I think we can accommodate that." She stood. "Let me show you to your office."
They walked across the street after that, to the courthouse. Michonne was eager to sit in on the hearing scheduled for later that hour. When they stepped into the building her eyes immediately caught on a wall covered, floor to ceiling, with photographs and notes. She went to stand in front of it.
"This is the Wall of the Lost," she heard Yumiko say, from beside her. "People who were separated from their families put a picture up and how to contact them on the off chance they might show up in The Commonwealth. It's how I found my brother."
"Your brother?"
"Tomi. He's a surgeon at The Commonwealth Hospital."
"Tomi," she repeated, trying to remember where she'd heard that name. "Tomi... he's the one who saved Judith's life when she got shot?"
Yumiko smiled. "He was one of the ones, yes."
"I'd like to meet him. I know Rick would too."
"I think I can arrange that. Let's go, they should be starting soon."
Michonne scanned the wall one last time. Rick would have been a picture up there, a few years ago. It broke her heart, how many families would never be as fortunate as her family had been. Considering how much loss they'd suffered, it felt strange to be on the other side of things. To for once be in the midst of a winning season. When Michonne dragged her eyes away as she turned to follow Yumiko out, her gaze caught on a faded photo. It was one out of thousands, but it was as if a spotlight shone on it.
And she wouldn't have thought twice about it, if not for who she saw in it. Her mother and brother stood on one side, her two sisters on the other, and a younger Michonne was at the center. She stepped closer to the photo, her heart pounding in her chest, as she read the note attached. Have you seen any of my children? Elodie, Micah, Yvette, or Michonne?
"Michonne?" She heard Yumiko say, "Are you alright?"
"My..." She couldn't get her words out, her throat suddenly closing up. "My mother... I think she's here."
Author Note: Thank you for reading! Hope you enjoyed Ch. 1!