Chapter 26 – Failing Hope
Caught in a trap, Yuna found herself cornered like a rat in Kinoc's underwater prison. It was far too late to do anything about it—except to battle back at the sinister priest. She shot a sharp, menacing glare at Kinoc, wanting to rip his throat out if she could get her hands around him. From this, Kinoc gathered a sort of sickening pleasure, prevalent in his demonic laughter. To him it seemed, this was all just a twisted game. His desire for power drove him to the brink of insanity. None of the girls were ready to go another round against his plots. After Kilika, the only thing they wanted was to see Kinoc banished to the Farplane for the rest of eternity.
"I'll have so much fun with Spira when you're gone. It's a pity you won't be around to enjoy it," he cackled, burning death into their eyes.
"Don't bet on it!" shouted Rikku, her fists clenching her twin blades.
He smirked. "Oh, I will! I will massacre the heathen Al Bhed, enslave the masses, and make myself a nice summer home in Besaid. Those quirky little islanders will make such nice servants."
Believing he'd get a rise out of Yuna, Kinoc's wretched smile faded, surprised to find she wasn't even listening to him. Blankly she stared at her former aeon; her hands shivering with dread. She blinked rapidly.
He grunted at her, upset by her lack of response. "It seems your summoner friend is off in another world already."
Paine and Rikku turned to look at her, themselves seeing her dazing off into nothingness. Yuna's heart felt as though it sank out of her body. Returning to her mind's inner realms, she pictured the forthcoming battle with Shiva. Her suffering compounded upon itself; wasn't killing her beloved aeon once enough already? This was yet another link in her chain of confusion and despair.
Without changing her expression, Yuna gripped her pistols. "Let's just get this over with."
"In a hurry to die, Summoner Yuna?" Kinoc asked with a chuckle.
Yuna now looked up Kinoc. "I don't care what happens at this point. I'm so tired of this mockery you cause. I'm ready for all of it to end"
"Yuna, what are you saying?" Paine burst worryingly.
Eyes swelling with tears, Yuna' turned her head to look at Paine. "I'm saying I don't care if I live or die! I just want to stop feeling this pain!"
"Don't say that," whimpered Rikku, her eyes half-watery. "You can't say that!"
"Aw, I'm touched," said Kinoc sarcastically. "Then I say it is time to finish this and put you out of your misery. Shiva, attack!"
With his command, the aeon leaped into battle, ripples of icy white vapor flowing behind her. She moved gracefully around the girls with speed, her sudden action catching them off guard. Not to be mesmerized by her elegant dancing, the Gullwings formed their standard triangular attack formation. Rikku led off by chucking a red grenade at the aeon. Agilely flicking the back of her hand at the grenade, Shiva swatted it away, exploding harmlessly beyond her.
Yuna had her battle plans elsewhere. She glared around, searching for Kinoc, seeking to put an end to him. Her thirst for his ghost burned immensely inside her. If she destroyed him again, she thought, then she could be free from all the torment. In the back of her mind, she wondered where Shuyin was. It was very peculiar that she never saw the two together, especially since they were in cohorts with one another. She brushed that thought aside—Kinoc was her primary concern. He was nowhere to be found now, vanishing from where he stood during Shiva's attack.
Focusing back on the aeon, she witnessed her blasting freezing magic at her partners. Rikku ducked for cover behind a fallen pillar of stone. Thousands of minute shards of crystal pelted against the stone. Paine shot orbs of black magic at Shiva, hurting her a bit. In the process, Paine hurt herself as well.
"Jump in any time, Yuna!" she grunted.
Yuna's face grew firm with determination. Pulling out her pistols, she raced behind a pedestal, eying Shiva in her sights. Firing off three shots, the aeon swirled with fervor out our their paths. The stone rubble began to crack and crumble as Shiva chased the girls with glossy spikes of ice summoned from the ground. The aeon's face showed her sick pleasure in attacking her former summoner. It was the same as with her other former aeons. Whatever power Kinoc controlled, it contorted any loyalties the aeons may ever have existed before.
Nimbly Shiva pranced around them, dodging anything the girls would throw at her. Paine attempted another shot of dark energy but missed. She fell to a knee, needing to recover from the drain the spell placed upon her body. She groaned, rubbing the bridge of her nose. Shiva took this opportunity to lash at her, smacking her into a pile of freshly-created debris. Rikku shrieked, but Paine stood up immediately.
"This isn't getting us anywhere," Paine roared, rubbing the dirt off her body. "And I'm getting pissed!"
"Shiva, you must stop!" bellowed Yuna, who was standing mere inches from Shiva.
Her eyes locked in with her aeon's. For a moment, they bonded together. Yuna sensed, deep within the soul of her aeon, that she didn't want to harm her former summoner. Their eyes reflected a common pain as if two mirrors were set up to reciprocate the same light. That fleeting sentiment lasted only a moment, for Shiva then back-handed Yuna hard with her icy hand. A sweltering cloud of frosted wind blasted from the contact, sending Yuna flying to the other end of the chamber. She howled, both in surprise and in pain, as she plummeted to the floor.
As quickly as her scream echoed throughout the chamber, her eyes faded shut. Overcome by immense discomfort in her head, she watched as her former aeon blurred from her sight. Into the depths of her mind she retreated, or rather, she fled. Deep within her heart, she had no desire to fight or resist any longer. She desperately craved rest.
Squinting her eyes to try to focus her vision, she now found herself surrounded by a massive expanse—a pitch-black void with only her in it. She looked all around, trying to understand where everyone went. The faint sounds of what she believed to be her comrades faded in and out. From one direction to another she ran, but the muffled sounds reverberated from all around her. She let out a bellow and plopped herself down in the darkness in which she stood. Her barrings were nonexistent, flustering her to her boiling point.
"Why?" she yelled at the top of her lungs. "Why can't I ever find my way?"
"Because it seems we are destined to be perpetually lost," stated a voice from behind.
With a gasp, Yuna swung herself around to identify the person who had just spoken to her. To her surprise, the person she never met, yet knew all too well, stood stoically before her. Lenne, the ancient summoner, the one who had invaded her dreams many times before, once again appeared from the void.
Yuna rushed up to her, growling, "You . . . you are always here! Why must you torment me?"
Lenne shook her head. "It isn't I who torments you. We are the same, you and I."
"What do you mean?"
"We are both afflicted by the same pain: unrequited love."
"I have my love, and I've been searching for him! I'm not supposed to be—"
"It's alright, I understand how you feel better than you could realize. My love, too, was taken from me. I've yearned for him for so long." Lenne paused, desperately holding back her tears.
Yuna reciprocated with watery eyes of her own. She bowed her head, finally realizing they were both in the same. For Lenne, the pain probably bled through her like poison. Not only was Shuyin stolen from her, but she had to endure a thousand years of loneliness and desire with no chance of resolution. Looking at Lenne was like looking in the mirror. For all her great achievements, she had become an empty vessel, just like Yuna.
"I'd normally say we have hope, but I feel so hopeless anymore," Yuna replied, a teardrop rolling down her cheek.
Lenne cracked a sad smile. "Even the strongest of wills cannot live under such conditions. I used to hold out hope, but now I just sulk, if there's even a word for it."
Yuna bit her lip, as she was reminded of her suffering. "Yes, I do understand. There truly aren't words to describe our emptiness."
"But it's not too late for you," Lenne continued. "You can still have hope; you can still have the one you love. For me, my Shuyin, he became absorbed by his desire for revenge."
"At least you know he still exists. I've been chasing nothing more than shadows. How can you love what isn't real? Maybe it would have been easier if I knew Tidus was a spirit in the Farplane, you know. At least then, I could see him. More than likely, he does not, and will never exist again. I loved a dream, but no sleep will return him to me."
Lenne put her hand on Yuna's shoulder, both sharing a solemn, heartbroken tear. Yuna began to break into a plethora of tears, thrusting herself into the arms of Lenne. Lenne embraced her, rubbing her softly on the head.
"It's been a long time since I've comforted somebody. I forgot what it feels like," she whispered in Yuna's ear.
Unable to respond, Yuna only continued her furious crying. Even though the two understood exactly how the other felt, it was impossible for two saddened souls to console each other.
Lenne still tried. "If you can't have him back, cherish the memories you did share. I don't really want to tell you this, but they fade so quickly."
Yuna raised her head to look up at Lenne, who stared away from her, tears rolling down her cheeks. She had experienced the very thing Lenne spoke of. From time to time, she would wake up, and not be able to remember what Tidus' face looked like. At times, especially in the morning, the sound of his voice would distort her mind. She would become frantic when this would occur. It terrified her to think she would lose the few, precious memories she had with him. With Lenne telling her the very thing she feared most, she pushed her away.
"Please don't cry anymore, Yuna. As I said, there is still hope for you. Don't give up!" she pleaded, shocked by Yuna's sudden aversion.
"Shut up! Just shut up!" Yuna shouted, throwing her fists into the air. "How can you stand there and tell me to keep hope after what you've just said? I only want the pain to end. Tidus isn't coming back! I've lost him forever."
Lenne walked over to Yuna, who crouched on the black ground, sheltering her tears. Kneeling, she embraced Yuna. For a moment, she tried to convey whatever sense of confidence her soul had left in it. Yet she couldn't quell the endless suffering a broken heart begets.
Lenne kissed Yuna on the top of her head. "I'm sorry."
For however long Yuna fell unconscious, now she began to come back into reality. Phasing in, the sights and sounds happening around her agitated her senses. She heard grunts and yells, as well as the sound of breaking glass. Sitting up, she peered in its direction. Once focused, she witnessed Rikku and Paine still engaged with Shiva. They had her pinned in the far corner. Shiva shot blasts of sparkling blue ice at the girls, which was the crackling sound Yuna heard before.
Upon further investigation, she noticed her friends were quite scraped up. For a moment, she set aside her depression as she knew she must, and gripped her guns. She sprang to her feet, darting toward the aeon. She slid in beside her cousin and fired off twelve shots in blindingly rapid succession. All the bullets connected, their piercing metal projectiles penetrating straight into Shiva's abdomen. The aeon, knocked back by their concussions, slumped over in the corner. A waterfall of pyreflies rushed from her form, before evaporating into nothingness.
Just as fast as she left the fight, Yuna found herself victorious. Rikku and Paine both glared at Yuna in shock. Whatever just happened, and wherever Yuna came from, they were glad to see their friend still in good fighting condition.
Rikku pushed her mouth closed with her finger. "Um, way to go, Yunie?"
A violent tremor shook the pillars from the walls, knocking dirt and stone alike to the floor. The quaking only grew worse, and the girls feared a cave-in. Quickly they put their masks back on and hurried to where they entered the temple at. As they ran steadfast down the dim corridors, they heard the voice of Kinoc blast from around them.
"You can run, but you'll never escape!"
Sprinting back to where the water filled the temple, they all dove in and propelled themselves with haste. Bricks and stones sunk into the crumbling temple, giving them a maze of deadly objects to avoid. It became more difficult to find their way, as the foam created by the innumerable amount of sinking rocks obscured their sight. They managed to make their way to the hole in the side of the temple. They were free from the death trap Kinoc had set for them. Rikku happily turned to cheer with her cousin, but Yuna wasn't behind her. She searched around frantically, looking for Yuna.
"Paine! Paine!" she cried through her mask, "Where's Yunie?"
Paine turned to look. "I don't know. I thought she was behind you?"
The girls swam quickly back around and inside the temple. Cracks sprouting in the walls and floor shot fear in them that the temple could collapse at any moment. Frantically they searched for Yuna. Paine spotted her, trapped under a fallen block of stone. She was still conscious, but they didn't know how injured she might be. They had little time before they would become trapped permanently together.
"Don't worry Yuna, we'll have you out in a jiff!" calmed Paine, seeing panic in Yuna's eyes.
She shook her head distraughtly. "No, get out of here! You'll get killed!"
They ignored her warning and attempted to lift the large stone pinning their friend down. They were afraid if they slid it, the stone might crush Yuna. Fearing they had no time to be concerned, Rikku and Paine gripped opposite sides of the stone. Yuna continued to plead with them to make them stop; they refused to save themselves without their friend.
"C'mon Paine," yelled Rikku. "On the count of three—three!"
Using all their might, Rikku and Paine managed to shove the stone off of Yuna. Helping her to swim, the girls motored out of the temple. With only seconds to spare, they slipped past crashing wood and stone crumbling around them. The girls watched as the temple disintegrated onto itself. Hearts still pounding in their chests, they left for the surface, ready to get out of the frigid water.
Shinra, Brother, and Buddy stood waiting for the girls to surface. Shinra had picked up the massive underwater tremors from the collapsing temple. Quietly standing, staring intently at the lake, they patiently hoped for the girls' safe return. To their immense relief, the girls emerged from the depths, all intact and together. Buddy and Brother helped them out of the water.
"Hey, Yunie?" asked Rikku in the process of removing her mask, "Are you okay? Are you hurt bad?"
She shook her head, gasping for breath. "No, a little bruised maybe, but I don't think anything is broken."
It was now Rikku and Paine who sighed a breath of relief. They hobbled back to the ship to dry off. Barkeep broke out some hi-potions as the girls were fairly swollen and bruised.
"Man, what were you guys doing down there?" Buddy questioned, scratching his head.
"Fighting for our very lives, that's what," complained Rikku, putting some ice on her shoulder.
"That bastard Kinoc set up a trap down there. I swear I'm gonna kill him . . . again!" raged Paine, applying some ointment to her forehead.
"I thought I was a goner. Thanks, guys." Yuna smiled genuinely for the first time in a while, bandaging up her leg.
The girls returned her smile and nodded. Barely making it out of the temple was a near tragedy that made them all take notice of their lives. They also concluded that the next time they would meet Kinoc, they might not be so fortunate. The next time they faced off, they would need to defeat him for good, or else all of Spira would be in grave danger. Retreating from the lake, Brother landed the ship at Maclandia Woods.
That night, Yuna walked by herself to the spring in the forest. She relished the comfort a calm and dark night brought her, with most of the stars above cloaked by huge pillows of charcoal grey clouds. With only a sliver of moonlight shining down upon the water through the clouds, it delivered her a feeling of seclusion and peace. She remembered what Lenne had said to her as she lay down next to the spring. Although her exhausted body tired quickly, her mind filled with the memory of Tidus swimming in this very spring with her. How happy she was, she thought, when he kissed her, and told her he would be with her no matter what. She rolled on her side, gently splashing the water with her hand. She could picture them together in the ripples of the water.
With soothing silence wrapping around her like a warm blanket, and her mind finally cleared, Yuna closed her eyes. She may have nearly died today, but this spring reminded her of a time she felt truly alive and truly loved. She glanced one final time into the water before drifting off to sleep.
Yuna swam elegantly through the tepid waves of the spring. Its ripples trickled away from her, fading towards the serpentine tree towering in the center. Its enormous sphere bulging from the top of the trunk poured a warm, sun-kissed light on the water below. Perched on a branch hovering over the spring, sat Lenne, watching Yuna cut through the spring's water with each stroke. She rested her chin on her knees, carefully watching over Yuna like a sentry. She noticed now that Yuna had a calmer sense to her than before.
"How have you decided to live from now on, Yuna?" she asked, causing Yuna to pause her swimming.
"I'm not entirely sure yet," Yuna replied, rolling over to float on her back.
Lenne didn't respond, merely keeping her gaze fixated on Yuna. She let out a subtle sigh and looked up at the stars. They twinkled with solemness in the sky, peeking through the breaks in the clouds, each one so far separated from the others.
"Maybe I'll keep holding on to hope, or perhaps I'll run away from it all," Yuna said, watching the moonlight's reflection surrounding her out of the corner of her eye.
Lenne smiled with sadness. "You can never run from it. No matter how far you think you are from the pain and anguish, it will always be right behind you."
Yuna glanced up at Lenne and the two locked eyes. She could feel what simmered inside Lenne, and Lenne could feel the same. Each one searched in the other for some sense of relief from the pain they wrestled with, but each found only a faded glimmer of comfort. The compounding elixir of anger, sadness, and regret had diminished whatever hope might have burned bright long ago.
"Why are we so powerless to do anything about it?" Yuna asked.
Lenne pondered for a moment. "I had a chance once. If I made a different decision, things would be different."
Yuna frowned. "How so?"
Running her fingers through her hair, Lenne blew out a long sigh. "A thousand years ago, Zanarkand and Bevelle were at war. Just like you, I had to protect my people. Shuyin tried to convince me not to, saying I would end up dying for nothing. He didn't want to lose me to what he saw as a futile cause. Truthfully, a part of me believed him."
"Then why didn't you listen to him?"
Lenne bit her lip. "My duty trumped my personal feelings."
Yuna stopped floating, bringing herself upright in the water. "You put others ahead of yourself. If there's someone in need, you can't ignore it. Not even to your detriment."
Watching the gentle swaying of the treetops, Lenne sat silently. She closed her eyes, not saying a word. Those last, gentle words Shuyin spoke to her echoing in her mind.
Yuna reached her hand out of the water, her chest tightening. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to offend you."
Lenne shook her head. "No, you didn't."
Clutching her fist to her heart, Yuna expressed, "Shuyin still exists. He still loves you."
"Something that was Shuyin exists," Lenne replied. "A shadow filled with hatred is all that lived on. The Shuyin I loved died a thousand years ago."
Yuna maneuvered herself to float upright in the water. Not far from the perch Lenne sat on, Yuna glimpsed up at her. For a moment, she pushed aside her heartache. The relatable pain written on Lenne's expression replaced her own emotions. She felt sorry for Lenne.
Yuna bowed her head. "If he still loves you enough to persist for an eternity, he must be still in there somewhere. If I can bring him back to you, Lenne, I will."
Her eyes opened wide, Lenne glanced down at Yuna who was still staring up at her. Perfectly encircled by the rippling moonlight reflecting in the spring, Yuna existed as the first glimmer of hope Lenne had since the real Zanarkand last stood. Propelling herself off the branch she rested on, Lenne dove into the spring. For a moment, she disappeared under the water before emerging in front of Yuna. Having no opportunity to be startled, Yuna found herself embraced by her living reflection.
"You are the greatest hope Spira has ever had," whispered Lenne. "Never forget that."