Treehouse of Horror XXII Homer gets bitten by a spider and becomes paralysed and can only communicate by farting. Ned becomes a professional assassin because God told him to. And Bart and Milhouse become Rigel VII aliens in an Avatar spoof...
Alvin creates his version that features a Chupacabra in the Chupacabra of Springfield. Sideshow Bob tortures the Simpsons in a spoof of SAW and in Triassic Park Mr Burns opens a park with dinosaurs.
Plot
The opening short starts with the Simpson kids and Oscar arriving home from Trick or Treating.
Santa and his reindeers are now skeletons...
"Aaaaaaagh! they ate Santa's skin and flesh!" Oscar screamed.
Bart dressed as an astronaut face palmed frustrated.
"Massive haul this year." said Bart dressed as an astronaut.
"Yep." said Hugo.
"To candy!" said Lisa dressed as a saxophone. With disembodied hands holding it,...
Suddenly Bart cries in pain as something is trying to tear its way out of his stomach. "Aaaaaagh! It's shredding my insides!"
Lisa winced. "Bart?"
Bart screams in agony. A chestburster from Alien tears its way out of his stomach and through his astronaut suit. "Ow that smarts..." he groans.
"Holy mother of cheese! A chestburster!" Oscar screamed.
Lisa rolled her eyes.
The Chestburster unmasks itself. It's Maggie, yes Maggie is a Chestburster...
Oscar winced.
"Next year I pick a costume that doesn't kill me..." Bart groaned before collapsing dead from blood loss and an alien tearing its way out of him...
"Oz can you not..." Lisa sighed.
Next year...
The kids come home with candy. This year Bart went as a pirate.
"Bart beard the pirate! Arrrrrr!" said Bart.
"Or Orangebeard..." said Cousin Hank.
Bart winced.
"Get lost, kink shaming jerk..." Oscar snapped at Hank. Oscar was dressed as a clown with a big round red shiny nose.
"How are you bloody justified to write about diapers and cartoon bear cubs sniffing you?!" Hank yelled.
An anvil crushes Hank. Blood seeps out from under it.
Oscar smirked.
Lisa shrugs.
Maggie eats some pop rocks and burps.
"(Maggie belching)"
Marge arrives dressed as a witch.
"Fee-fi-fo-fum, give me all your candy and gum!" said Marge.
"Who are you and why do you want our candy?" said Bart annoyed.
"Your mother is the switch witch- a sort of tooth fairy dealie." said Marge.
Oscar has to be stupid...
"Oh God! She's replaced our mother!" Oscar screamed. Technically she's his foster mom as the Simpsons adopted him.
Marge sighed.
"Oz stop being a freakin' moron..." Bart face palmed.
Marge continues with whatever she was about to do before Oscar started being dumb again.
"I take your sugary sweets and I give you healthy items. Plain brown toothbrushes, unflavored dental floss and fun-sized mouthwashes- TSA approved." She takes their candy and replaces it with healthy tooth cleaning stuff like toothbrushes, mouthwash and floss.
The kids are annoyed about this.
"This is exactly why kids need a union." Bart seethed.
(Bart and Lisa grumbling)
Eric Simpson dressed as as a dinosaur bursts into tears. He's a baby...
Marge sighed as Eric cried.
The kids compare their halloween costumes while Eric cries.
Teddy is dressed as Swiss cheese...
"Teddy why are you dressed as Swiss cheese..." Oscar asked his teddy bear.
"Yeahayeahyeahyeah! I LIKE HOLES!" said Teddy.
Oscar face palmed.
"Well that's a new one..." said Bart as a pirate.
Eric bawled.
...
Homer arrives painted to resemble Dr Manhattan from Watchman. He's helping Marge with her steal the kids' candy thing.
"Wooooooooo! I am the most over-powered comic book character ever!" He made ghostly wails.
"Stop criticising my work!" Alan Moore yelled.
Bart winced wondering why Alan Moore was in their house.
Homer hums absentmindedly.
"Now remember, Homie, that candy goes to..." said Marge.
"Our fighting men and women overseas. It's our way of letting them know we're having fun back here." said Homer.
"No sneaking off and eating that candy yourself." said Marge.
"Marge, you know I'd never do that." said Homer. "I'm too scared of the evil switch witch."
"Bingo..." said Bart annoyed.
"The switch witch is me." Marge sighed.
"You know, on some level, I've always known." said Homer.
Marge rolls her eyes.
"And put on some pants!" She nagged.
"Dr Manhattan doesn't wear pants..." said Homer.
Marge sighed frustrated.
Homer goes off for a drive with the candy.
The driving theme from Psycho plays. From the beginning after the main character embezzles money from her boss and leaves town...
"Hmmm... maybe I should stop off at a motel owned by a cross-dressing maniac?" said Homer.
No sadly we have to do a 127 Hours reference...
Homer arrives at the military draft centre where people sign up to join whatever war America is fighting in. Ie Iraq. It is also where the candy being sent to the war heroes over seas is being dropped off.
Homer looks about suspiciously with shifty eyes. He drives past the military drafting building.
Wiggum squints, staring suspiciously at Homer as if he knows what he is doing.
Homer drives somewhere.
He yelps as Reverend Lovejoy gives him a hard, penetrating stare. Boring into his soul...
However the Reverend doesn't stop him and just goes about his day.
Homer sighs relieved and wipes his brow with a Hershey's chocolate bar. Eeeeeew...
Homer arrives in a bad lands area called Candy eating Peak. Obviously he plans to eat the candy...
He heads with the sack of candy singing.
"I've got candy, skip to my Lou
My insulin will spike, that's what it's gonna do
I'm gonna buy me some diabetic shoes"
Oscar arrived with a cartoonish pop sound. "Diabetic Shoe..."
"Uh?" Homer asked.
"Only one shoe... When morbidly obese people get diabetes they sometimes have a leg amputated..." said Oscar.
Homer screamed.
"Skip to my Lou my..." Homer stumbles and falls.
He screams and grunts as he falls.
He gets his arm stuck under a heavy boulder. He screams as it crushes his arm. "Aaaaaaagh!"
He grunts as he struggles. "Huh?!"
"D'oh!" He can't reach the candy...
At home, the kitchen.
"Marge took my candy, skip to my Lou."
"My insulin will plummet, that's what it's gonna do..."
"I'll probably die from my diabetes type 1 too..." Oscar sang.
Marge sighed flustered.
Teddy then annoyed her by listing cheeses he likes. "I like gooooooouda... I like Muenster..."
Mage face palms.
"Or stinky gorgonzola... Oh voy is mir..." said Teddy speaking too quickly he wasn't understood.
"Eat buffalo chips Ted..." Oscar ranted.
"Ooooooooh! Buffalo chips..." said Teddy hungry.
"Should I tell him what that is slang for..." Oscar sighed.
...
Homer is still trapped. He whines unable to get to the candy.
He uses his free arm to ring emergency services. "Hello, 911? I need a helicopter rescue and some cold milk."
"Copy that, sir." said a dispatcher.
"The only sane thing to do is chew off my arm." said Homer.
Yes he is referencing 127 Hours...
Homer puts some fake vampire teeth in his mouth. He tries to chew his arm off... "Ow! Ow!" He keeps chewing. "I'm not gonna swallow, 'cause I want to save room for candy."
He is still chewing.
"Oops." He chewed the wrong arm off...
He chews again.
"D'oh!" He chewed his legs off...
He magically reattached his limbs... Cough lazy writing, cough.
Homer is chewing his trapped arm off.
"Mm! I'm really getting the hang of this." He commented. Yes we are aware in a later Halloween you self-cannibalise yourself...
Homer chews threw a few more tendons...
He is finally free.
"All worth it for candy." He opens the bag of candy.
(gasps) It is full of healthy vegetables!
"No...!" He is horrified.
(scream echoes in distance) He screams dramatically with a long distance movie shot.
At home, Bart's room. Bart and his siblings are eating candy, Bart masterminded a sack swap to get the candy back...
(Bart and Lisa laugh)
Bart opens his mouth wide while chuckling. In the gooey chewed up candy stretching between his jaws the words Treehouse of Horror XXII are spelt out.
"Eeeeeeeew!" Teddy groans.
...
Later the next day. Marge is doing the hoovering in the lounge.
A green jeep full of military personal pulls up. They look annoyed.
Suddenly purple heart medals are thrown at the window. Marge gasps as it begins to crack.
"Give us the candy you promised! Commie rats!" a green beret yelled.
"Homer did you not give the military the kids's halloween candy?!" Marge nagged.
"You didn't give me the candy, you gave me a sack of vegetables..." said Homer.
"What?! No I gave you the- Ooooooooooh! Bart!" Marge yelled.
"Eat it, lame-ohs..." Bart was eating candy. In this case wrapped chocolates in colourful wrappers.
Marge seethed.
"Marge you know it's a halloween episode... we can do some pretty extreme stuff to get that candy back..." said Homer as purple heart badges clatter against the window.
"We're not cutting Bart open to get the candy back..." Marge sighed.
Homer scoffed.
Outside. Milhouse was dressed as a pink cartoon bunny.
"Milhouse why are you dressed as that?" Bart sighed.
"Because it's halloween..." said Milhouse.
"Milhouse your supposed to dress as something scary.. not as something lame..." said Bart.
Milhouse frowned.
"Yeah it has to be something scary, like a clown..." said Teddy, Oscar's teddy bear creature.
Bart winced. "Not everyone is scared of clowns, fur-brain."
"You take that back! Dummy!" Teddy yelled.
"Oh and you didn't top off at Mrs Glick's did you?" Milhouse asked Bart.
"Milhouse... no one stops off at her house..." said Bart.
"She's giving out boxes of raisins this year..." said Milhouse.
Oscar goes past in his clown costume. He is eating raisins. "Mmmmmm...no Eeeeeeeeeeeee numbers..."
Bart face palmed.
Plot 2
The Diving Bell and the Butterball.
Homer one Halloween morning annoys a spider and ends up paralysed.
Homer wakes up. He looks up. Huh? (Screams) I can't move! Oh no! I'm paralysed!
"Dad? Dad?" Bart can be herd.
Lisa gasped. "He opened his eyes! Mom!"
Marge arrived.
Okay, I'm on the floor. I can't move. So far, a normal Sunday morning.
"Homie, you're paralysed. But we love you and will never give up hope." said Marge.
"Can his funeral be on a school day?" Bart asked.
Marge frowned at him.
Homer groaned.
This is so horrible. I can't speak!
He sobs.
How did this happen? Last thing I remember, I was decorating the house for Halloween.
He thinks.
Maggie spills her bottle of milk over him.
Eeeeeew... Homer groans in internal monologue.
The cat licks him.
Ow! Her tongue is like sandpaper! Ow!
Homer groans as he recounts his day.
That morning he was decorating the house for Halloween. He was now doing the outside.
Homer puts down a box of Halloween decorations.
"Ah, Halloween. The one time of year when the squalor of our home works to our advantage."
The windows are all cracked and broken.
A bat flies out through a hole in a broken window.
Homer chuckles. "Stupid bat..."
The bat morphs into a small, young bald vampire. Resembling Orlok from Nosferatu a bit.
"Aaaaaaagh! Bat Boy!" Homer screamed.
"Stop insulting me!" Bat Boy yelled.
"Okay! I'm sorry your stupid and ugly!" said Homer.
Bat Boy hissed baring his fangs.
...
But that's not why I ended up paralysed. Let's continue...
After Bat Boy left, Homer looks through the box of halloween stuff.
He was distracted by a bobby pin. "Oh a bobby pin!"
While he was distracted, a deadly black widow spider crawled into the box of halloween decorations
"Oh! Bobby McFerrin!" Homer gasped.
Bobby McFerrin sings don't worry, be happy.
"Where's that spider? Ah.." Homer puts his hand in the box. There's a fuzzy brown toy spider but instead he picks up the deadly, live black widow...
"So realistic..." said Homer. He giggles. "Squeeze squeeze!" He squeezes the poor creature. "Squeeze squeeze!"
Teddy shudders. As well as clowns, he is scared of spiders.
"Squeeze squeeze! hehehehe! A real spider would be so mad if I did this..." said Homer.
He ponders. "I wonder where the batteries are..." He stuffs a screwdriver's blade up the spider's butt...
"I'm turned on by that..." said Oscar shuddering with arousal.
Cousin Hank seethed with rage.
Homer continues poking the spider. It gets angry. It squirts a bungee cord of web at his neck and hisses.
Homer screamed.
The spider expertly swings round and lands on his neck. It bites him.
"Ow!" Homer yelled. The venom has an immediate effect. Homer falls to the floor, twitches then freezes as the venom paralyses him.
In the present Homer is still frozen in a daft pose with his mouth agape in a silent scream.
Marge wept. "Ooooooh Homie...
"Did the spider venom have to freeze him making that face..." Bart winced.
Homer is frozen in mid scream.
Oscar laughed hysterically.
"Oscar!" Marge told him off.
Well thank you family for putting me upright... Homer thought to himself. Oooooh! My nose itches! This is horrible!
Oscar tried to stifle his own laughter.
...
Homer is parked in front of a mirror.
Well, at least I still look handsome...
Marge is dressing him.
"Okay, handsome, that's enough primping. Just because you've had a little setback doesn't mean you can't look your best." said Marge.
Homer stares at her frozen with paralysis.
"Okay that's really starting to creep my out..." said Marge.
Oh, Marge. This is the purest love there is: patient, supportive... Ooh, cleavage. Homer looks down at her boobs... Uh...
Homer internally moans aroused.
Later outside the lounge.
Clump... Something heavy falls...
"Mom... Dad fell over..." said Bart.
Marge sighed.
"Mom... none of us can lift him..." said Lisa.
"I'm coming..." said Marge.
"Mom... All of Dad's enemies are taking advantage of the situation to pick on him..." Lisa yelled.
In the lounge. James Bouvier is kicking Homer. He leaves.
"Justice..." said Patty. Patty and Selma stub their hot cigarettes out on Homer's face.
Oscar grins malevolently while holding a sledge hammer. Hugo is by his side dressed as a surgeon and holding a scalpel.
"You wanna do the honours Hugh..." Oscar asked if he wanted to go first.
"I'd thought you'd never ask..." Hugo smiled.
Marge arrives. "Get away from him! You ghouls!"
James, Patty and Selma, Oscar and Hugo sighed.
"Shame on you all!" Marge nagged them.
"Karma guys... karma..." Lisa frowns at Homer's enemies.
Oscar inhales.
"No Oz! No singing Karma Chameleon!" Bart yelled.
...
Lisa is sat on the couch reading a boring book to Homer who has been laid against the couch.
"Dad, I'm going to entertain you with the help of The Brothers Karamazov."
Oh God! No!
"Alexey Fyodorovitch Karamazov was the third son of Fyodor Pavlovitch Karamazov, a landowner well known in our district in his own day, and still remembered among us..." Lisa reads the boring tale.
Oh, my God. She's still on the first sentence! Must make her stop.
Lisa is reading.
How to express my... Homer says to himself internally.
He farts.
"Dad! Ew." Lisa groaned wafting the fart away.
Oscar laughed
Lisa sighed.
"Whoever smelt it, dealt it..." Oscar chuckled.
Lisa sighed. "Continuing..."
"For the present, I will only say that this 'landowner'- for so we..."
Oh God no! Homer grunted trying to fart to stop her reading.
He farted.
"Eeeeeew!" Lisa whined.
Oscar laughed.
Lisa realised something.
"Wait a minute. Can you pass gas at will?"
"Fart once for no, twice for yes."
"It's once for yes, twice for no..." said Oscar.
"Dad gets things the wrong way round... It's easier to tell him the opposite..." said Lisa.
Homer farts twice.
"Oh, by the wise and gentle buddha! Do you realize what this means?" Lisa gasped.
Homer farts in a confused tone, we zoom in on his frozen screaming face.
Oscar laughed hysterically.
Lisa sighed.
Oscar is rolling on the floor in fits of laughter.
...
Lisa teaches Dad to speak in farts... Yes they went with fart humour...
"This means Dad you can communicate with um... toots...
Homer farted.
"Yes Dad..."
Damn, I feel like chuckling right now, but this accursed paralysis!
Oscar chuckled.
"And of course Oscar finds this entire situation highly amusing..." Lisa sighed.
Oscar giggled.
"Dad I shall go through the alphabet. Fart when you want me to stop." said Lisa.
"A, B, C, D..."
Homer farted.
"Okay, D."
Oscar gnawed his own wrist as tears trickle out of his eyes from laughter.
Lisa uses this method to write out slowly a message Homer wants to convey.
"Okay. Let's read it out." said Lisa.
"Dearest Marge, though my body cannot move, my heart still beats and my brain still brains.(farts) I miss holding you in my arms more than my butt can say. (farts) Perhaps someday there will be a cure. Although if it requires (farts) months of difficult physical therapy, I'll pass. You are the shining light that gets me through my darkest hours. For further communication, I will require more beans. I love you."
Marge later reads this letter. She sobs.
"Oh Homie..."
Homer farts.
"Ssh-Ssh-Sah... save your words dear." said Marge.
The Simpsons took Homer to the park. He farted.
"Eeeeeew..." Hugo groaned.
"That's how Dad communicates Hugo..." said Lisa.
"I preferred when he used a chalkboard..." Hugo sighed.
Homer farted out a message Lisa translated.
"Dearest Marge, Please feed me some more beans so I may continue communicating..."
Marge sighed.
...
Some days later...
I guess my life isn't so bad. With the help of my loving family, I even published my first book. And I've finally reached a state of serenity and...
A radioactive black widow descends on a web. It is glowing green from radiation.
Homer screamed in his thoughts.
Another spider!
He whimpered internally.
What's this bite gonna do?
He got bitten. He felt a new surge of power.
My wrists are tingling! I feel a new power within me!
Homer dressed up as Spiderman, but with the colours on his suit reversed, swung about on webs but paralysed still.
Oooooooh! Not fair! Why do I have to be paralysed still... He moaned to himself.
He swings about.
Spiderman... Spiderman... He hums to himself.
"Oh look! It's a paralysed Spiderman!" said Lenny.
"It's like if Superman was written to still being portrayed by Christopher Reeve..." said Oscar.
"Oz that is not funny..." Bart glared at him.
Plot 3
Dial D For Diddly
The one where Ned murders people because God told him to.
In a parody of Dexter, Ned does menacing things that turn out to be completely harmless. He starts his evening driving about Springfield having to deal with everyone sinning.
Springfield, my hometown.
Pretty little place.
Although, even the Garden of Eden could use a nice cleansing rain now and then.
In the Garden of Eden from Season 10 it rains...
"Oh it's raining..." Oscar wearing a diaper groaned.
God sighed.
"It it called the Yard of Eden in American bibles..." Oscar asked.
God sighed.
Ned drives about town looking at all the bad things, in his eyes that people are doing.
Mayor Quimby is out with his girlfriend, behind his wife's back.
Crazy Cat Lady is trying to sell cats as beagle dogs. Her stall is called Barely Beagle.
Crazy Cat Lady screams in gibberish.
Some hoodlums are betting on a fight between Gerald the monobrow baby and a raccoon...
The raccoon hisses.
"My money is on the baby..." said a hoodlum. This raises so many questions...
Ned is still judging people.
Snake has just robbed a bank.
Apu pours zoo animals such as zebras into a pulverising machine labelled Hotdog Meat.
"Eeeeew..." said Oscar.
"Wait a minute!" Krusty arrives smoking a cigar. "Making burgers out of unethical mystery meat is my thing... You're vegetarian... You make hotdogs out of tofu..."
Apu gawked at the camera confused.
Ned stops but Mrs Muntz, Nelson's mother is soliciting service as a hooker...
"Hey, whiskers. Want to party?" asked Mrs Muntz. He is spoken for...
"Spend less time on your back and more time on your knees." Ned ranted.
"Hmm? I've never tried oral before..." said Mrs Muntz.
"I meant praying! You sinful harlot!" Ned yelled. He drove home.
Mrs Muntz pondered. "Have I lost my back-alley beauty? Well, those who can't do, teach."
She goes to the Adult education centre and decides to start teaching young prostitutes...
...
Anyhoo, Like the opening to Dexter, Ned does murderous things that turn out to be harmless ordinary things.
He wakes up and prays.
He appears to be putting a pillow on someone's face. It turns out he is just making bed by adding throw pillows to the bed.
He appears to be garrotting someone. It turns out he is tying jp a bag of laundry. He is doing his laundry.
There is a red stain. This turns out to be jelly or jam on some bread. Ned is making a PB and J sandwich.
Ned is holding a sharp spoon shaped blade. This turns out to be a shoe horn, he is putting on his shoes that are a bit tight.
He is sticking thick tape on something. It turns out to be boxes of clothes for the poor. He has one box of older clothes and one box of newer ones.
Ned is then outside praying. It turns out he is holding some poor guy's arms that he has sliced off. He puts body parts in a bag. He tosses the sack into the ocean.
"All these years, I thought murder was a sin. Then I got new instructions from the good Lord Himself in his favourite language- English."
God suddenly speaks in a deep booming voice. "Slay Montgomery Burns and pee in his ashes!"
"Are you sure, Lord?" Ned asked.
"If you're having trouble with the second part, drink a lot of water." said God.
Ned sighed.
"Now I've got to go. A hip-hop star is thanking me at the VMAs." said God.
Spoilers, it's Kanye West at the VMAs!
Homer narrates.
"I'm surprised Ned doesn't embrace his dark side after that sniper dream he had once..."
That's a nightmare scene and you're not supposed to know that...
Homer went to the bathroom and activated the secret panels hiding his weapons behind mirrors etc from the Mr and Mrs Simpson story in XVIII.
He assembles a sniper rifle.
He reads his hit warrant. He has to kill Quimby.
Oscar's room.
He acts sneaky and pulls on a book in his book case. The case and his bed flip over and panels with knives and guns on them are revealed.
"Oh so it's Pimp My Crib but with armoury rooms..." Stewie Griffin sighed.
Oscar puts a cartridge in his handgun.
...
One evening at lake Springfield.
Mr Burns arrives with a truck carrying barrels of nuclear waste.
He pulls a lever and barrels of waste fall into the lake, poisoning it.
Mr Burns laughed evilly.
Ned is watching from a distance.
"I don't condone murder but now I see why everyone wants Mr Burns dead... I shall be their avenging angel..."
Ned chops off Mr Burns's head...
He throws his head into the polluted waters. Mr Burns's head grows another eye...
Ned sighs and goes home.
Homer drives home from a kill. Eric wouldn't sleep so Marge told him to drive Eric round the block till he goes to sleep.
Eric, the blue haired baby son of the Simpsons cries while strapped in a baby car seat wearing feety pyjamas.
Homer groans, feeling very tired.
Eric bawls.
The driving thing didn't work. The singing thing didn't work. You planning on both of us not sleeping through another three months?" Homer groaned.
Eric bawls.
Homer sighed.
Oscar's room. Oscar is in bed.
"My dark side is like a trapped coal miner."
"That's a great metaphor... Not!" said Dark Oscar.
"Look! It's Michael C Hall!" Oscar yelled.
Dexter was there for some reason...
Dark Oscar in ghost form winced.
Meanwhile Homer is disposing of a body. He finds a teddy bear where he stored the body.
"How did Eric's teddy bear get here?!"
Eric babbled and gurgled.
Homer sighed.
...
Ned continues his story, He is in church.
And so white-bread Ned became the avenging sword of the Lord.
At home Ned is at a painting of the Last Supper...
"Peter, Andrew, James the Greater, James the Lesser, John, Philip, Thaddeus."
The painting lifts up revealing a secret panel of weapons... Yes weapons...
Ned takes some sais. Those hand tridents Mileena has...
Mileena hisses and shows off her sharp Takartan teeth.
Ned screamed.
"Raphael has sais as weapons too..." said Bart.
Oscar laughed. "Raphael..."
Ned prayed. "Dear Lord..."
"Pipe down! Ned this time your hit is a two-fer! I want you to kill Patty and Selma Bouvier!" said God.
"Patty and Selma? Sure they smoke, and they don't shave much of anything, but do they deserve to die?"
"Do not question me, the star of the Bible." said God angrily.
Ned sighed.
"Oh and on a non murdering related note... Check out Homer's car, find out why it is making a chugger chugger sound. Then when you solve this, tell him in person what caused his engine problem...
Ned sighed.
The Simpsons house.
"Homer..." Marge asked.
"Yes dear?" Homer asked.
"You notice it odd all your enemies have died recently?" Marge had a newspaper.
"Mr Burns... Sideshow Bob..." said Homer. "Wait a minute! Sideshow Bob's not my enemy! He's Bart's!"
Marge seethed.
"Oooooooh! Bart!"
Bart, who is in his own room, gulps.
Anyway Marge, I haven't been sleeping well lately." said Homer.
Marge sighs and strokes him in a sympathetic manner.
"Hmmmmm... I know dear... Eric is being a little handful... But that's babies for you..."
...
Meanwhile the canyon from Looney Tunes, Road Runner and Wile E Coyote shorts.
Patty and Selma are driving about.
They see a pile of packets of cigarets.
"Oh my!" said Patty.
"Tobacco..." Selma sighed delighted.
They get out of their car and collect the cigarettes.
Ned on a high cliff pushes a boulder down upon them.
It falls and crushes Patty and Selma.
Ned makes theRoad Runner sound and flees. "Meep Meep!"
Oscar laughed.
At home.
Lisa wants another Myood...
"No Lisa, you already racked up huge bill on your one once..."
Lisa sighed.
"Yes but this one has Krusty's dirty personal recordings on it..."
She plays a recording of Krusty talking dirty to himself about a pretty lady he saw in the gym from the Gilded Truffle.
Marge sighed.
Bart came back home from playing Marco Polo in Martin's pool.
"Then Stewie Griffin ruined it by mentioning Helen Keller..." said Bart.
"Can't handle my edgy humour?" Stewie grinned.
Bart frowned at Stewie.
Marge drives Homer to work as because of sleep deprivation he shouldn't drive.
Oscar who is riding along, is singing Karma Chameleon.
Dexter winced.
"Rita look what you've done!" He yelled.
"You come aaaaaaand goooooooooo..." Oscar sang.
Homer groans.
"Marge can we stop for coffee..." he asked.
"No, you had one... All that caffeine is bad for you..." said Marge.
Homer groaned.
...
Homer goes to work. Smithers is sobbing.
"Oh cruel God! Why did you have to take Mr Burns from me!" Smithers cries while drinking whisky.
Homer winced.
"Oh quickly head to your station Simpson." said Smithers in tears.
Homer shrugged.
At home.
Marge is next to turn on the waterworks. Ned sees she is in tears in the backyard after taking a phone call,
"May I ask?" Ned asked.
"Oh it's my sisters! They died after a boulder fell on them!" Marge wept.
Ned frowned.
Okay God that was too far...
Marge wept.
Homer is revealed to be posing as God, getting Ned to kill his enemies.
"Okay, stupid Flanders, first I want you to kill that guy at the ice cream parlor who gave Homer Simpson a cone that had a little air in it."
"Really..." Ned sighed.
"Come on! God does crazy things! Check your Old Testament!" said God. (Actually Homer."
Ned sighed. "Fine..."
"Also i want him whacked because he was rude to Bart and gave him a stingy sundae on his birthday." said God.
Ned sighed.
Phineas Q Butterfats.
The stingy guy was cleaning the tables of the ice cream parlour.
He goes into the kitchen. Ned knocks him unconscious and stows him in the freezer.
Days later the ice cream parlour worker is found dead and frozen.
"Ice to see you..." Oscar chuckled.
"Oz. A man died..." Bart sighed.
Oscar shrugged.
"Ugh... He was found lying on the raspberry ripple..." said Milhouse.
"Milhouse stop going on about the ice cream... A guy just died..." Bart groaned.
Plot 4
In The Na'Vi
A spoof of Avatar. Aka Alien Smurfs riding alien dinosaurs...
"Oz the Na'vi are not Smurfs..." Hugo groaned.
Anyhoo at bootcamp where Chalmers wearing a giant robot suit is talking to recruits in the marines or some other armed forces.
"People, you are on the most inhospitable planet in the galaxy." said Chalmers. "Extreme temperatures... vicious indigenous life forms..."
"Are there any questions? Yes?" He asks Cletus who puts up his hand.
"Are we in Kansas anymore?" Cletus asked.
Dorothy Gale grimaced at him while holding Toto.
"No." said Chalmers annoyed.
Oscar chuckled.
"Well, are we in Nebraska?" Cletus asked.
"No! We are not in any state!" Chalmers yelled.
"Oh, oh, is it Michigan?" Cletus is being very, very annoying...
"Nobody talk anymore!" Chalmers yelled.
"You will now direct your attention to our C.E.O., Mr. Krusty the clown."
Krusty appears on a screen. He has had a head transplant. Ie his head on a new brawny, chiselled body...
"We are here on this fakakta planet for one reason: Hilarium." said Krusty.
"Spray this in an audience and they'll laugh at anything." said Krusty.
"And I need some now. Gotta play a nazi party rally. Oh, yeah, they're back."
Jurkle, Oscar's Jewish friend cried.
Chalmers sighed.
"Our spies will go planet-side, locate said Hilarium and contact us so that we may begin extraction. This is a delicate mission that requires utter loyalty." said Chalmers.
Bart arrives in a wheelchair. He is wearing army camouflage and khaki.
"I want that one and that one..." Oscar keeps doing Andy from Little Britain impressions...
Bart sighed.
"I can think of no better candidate than the resentful guy in the wheelchair who has just arrived." said Chalmers.
"Yes, I think this is gonna work out just fine." said Skinner.
Also Ralph was drafted or volunteered to go to Rigel VII for Hilarium. leading to som hilarious situations hopefully.
...
Bart is lying in a pod while Lisa as a scientist straps him in. He is being put in an avatar body.
"All strapped in?" Lisa asked.
"Yep." said Bart.
"Now prepare to take an incredible journey across the room!" said Lisa.
(whooshing) Bart is sent into the time vortex or something.
"Yo." Otto is in the Time vortex for some reason.
The TARDIS is pinning around in there too...
Bart wakes up in a larger laboratory attended by scientists. Bart finds he has green tentacles.
"Whoa!"
"Check out this bitchin' bod!" said Bart.
"Bitch! Bitch! Bitch!" Oscar swore.
"Oh, man, if I could just have five minutes alone with my old bullies..." said Bart tempting fate.
Jimbo, Dolph and Kearney arrive as Rigel VII aliens.
"Hey, avaturd." said Jimbo.
"Are you guys gonna beat me up?" Bart as a Rigel VII alien gulped.
"Naw, we can't. These avatars cost $80 billion each." said Dolph.
"But your human body costs nothing." said Jimbo.
They beat up Bart's real body.
(Grunting as they pummel him.)
Dolph puts a skunk in Bart's pod. The skunk chitters.
Kearney puffs cigar smoke into the pod and shuts it.
Bart winced and frowned at them.
Bart meets up with Milhouse and Oscar. They are Rigel VII aliens now.
"Cooooool! I'm a hentai monster!" Oscar cooed.
Bart face palmed with one of his tentacles. "Oscar stop saying that!"
Milhouse winced.
...
In the jungles of Rigel VII.
Bart and Milhouse are plugging themselves into their flying dinosaur things.
Bart's plug won't fit and his dinosaur is squirming.
"Come on, let's bond, you stupid jerk." Bart yelled.
(Alien flying dinosaur thing growls)
"That's a Japanese outlet, Bart. You need an adapter." said Milhouse. He gave Bart an adapter.
(groaning, zapping) Bart zapped it and it died.
"You need to be wearing a step down transformer too... you just fried him..." said Milhouse.
"Oh, maybe I'll just take a taxi." Bart sighed.
A Rigellian with a funny accent arrives flying a purple flying dinosaur thing.
"Where you go? Where you go? No meter, is cheaper, yeah?" asked the alien.
"No, thanks." said Bart.
"Suit yourself, you one-eyed bastard." said the alien annoyed. He left.
"My one-eyed bastard's is in my pants..." said Oscar.
Hank seethed.
(grunts) Bart sighed annoyed.
"Aw, the only thing that looks good on this stupid planet are the bananas." There are bananas. He picked one.
"Hmm?!" There's no fruit inside.
It grows into a huge banana skin monster!
"Ay carumba!" Bart yelled.
Oscar screamed.
Bart was eaten by the banana skin. It folded itself closed as a pod, to slowly digest him.
"That is some Jumanji-esque shit!" Oscar yelled.
Milhouse winced.
A Rigellian woman yelled, swung from a vine and shot a poisonous dart at the banana skin monster. It unfolded, releasing Bart. However the Rigellian warrior crashed into a tree. She peeled herself from it and tumbled down like those sticky octopus toys you throw.
Oscar laughed.