Pressing her lips together, Roxanne knocks one more time on the inside layer door.
Maybe… Maybe Minion doesn't want her here. Maybe–
"Miss Ritchi, uh, hello? Ah, what are you doing here, Miss Ritchi?" Leaning out of the door, the alien fish tilts slightly inside his bowl.
Awkwardly, she nudges the side of her shoe into her heel. "Well. I wanted to… check on you. I brought potatoes." Roxanne swallows, holding the dish in her hands up as proof.
"Oh… really? That was very thoughtful of you, I love potatoes!" He grinned , taking the dish from her hand and gesturing for her to come inside.
Oh.
Roxanne's forehead wrinkled slightly, but she followed him.
"Um. Good. I'm glad, I mean, potatoes are the only thing I've ever seen you eat, so I thought they were a safe choice. I'm sorry, I realize I don't know very much about your diet."
She clasps her hands behind her back, eyebrows pressing together as she watches him happily lead the way to the kitchen. She's never even seen the kitchen in the Evil Lair before. It's all very… homey isn't quite the right word. Or maybe it is, but just… techy homey . Strange little gadgets that were clearly Megamind's inventions popped out all over the place.
"Miss Ritchi, I'm so touched that you remembered! Ooo are those chives?"
"Sorry, are chives okay?"
"Yes!" He smiles at her before sliding the dish into the oven.
Feeling very out of place, she wavers back and forth on her feet, trying not to touch anything.
How… odd. He's happy that Megamind—That he's… not around anymore? Roxanne jars at the realization.
No. No that couldn't—was he mean to him? Mistreat him? Megamind seems so harmless, and playful. How did—
*Crkk*
"What was that?" Roxanne startled up, spinning around at a noise behind her.
"Miss Ritchi! Uh–I."
She looks back at Minion's wide eyes. He looks just behind her, then back to her.
"Ohhhh, I'm so saaad, Miss Ritchi." Minion suddenly melts into a dramatic heap, slouching over to the table to sit at a chair. "Sir was… so young! And and horrifyingly evil."
He covers his bowl in his gorilla hands as Roxanne looks on, amazed.
What. Is happening? People do all grieve differently… Denial? Waves of happy and sad? Sure… could be…
"I've kept the lair cold and damp, just how he likes it," he sniffs. "He was going to take over the city, you know. Mr. Evil Overlord ."
Tilting her head, Roxanne sat down beside him.
"The boss had big big plans… A freeze ray in every pot. He would've made a terrible mayor."
*Crkk*
"Ok, what was that?"
"Nothing! I mean, nothing, Miss Ritchi." He pats her hand with his gorilla claws. "Just the brainbots, uh, cleaning up the lab? No. Not cleaning the lab, uh, just organizing."
He gives her a much too wide smile, which she raises an eyebrow at.
"And I'm just in so much mourning, Miss Ritchi!" He flails again, and Roxanne straightens up in her chair.
"You know, Minion… it's okay if you're not sad." She speaks slowly, "With everything happening day to day… Megamind is difficult–" she catches herself, but doesn't feel like correcting it really. "Perhaps, being a supervillain."
"Sir? Sir's my best friend, Miss Ritchi," he says suddenly very serious. "I've taken care of him since the day he was born. It's an honor to work with him really; even on his bad days."
Roxanne nodded, relieved, glancing to the table. "Did he have bad days?"
"Oh of course. Sir gets very cranky, er, sorry. I'm…" he pauses, struggling. "Sir used to get cranky when he missed breakfast. Stomping around in the lab until I brought him a pancake sandwich. He would cross his arms and fold himself into a ball on the couch when he got really angry."
That was him really angry?
"What about… what about all the insulting Metro Man and all that?"
"Oh, hahaha!" Minion chuckled suddenly, and Roxanne's cheeks crack in a foreign-feeling smile.
Wow. It… has been a while since she smiled. Probably since… well.
"Sir was never mad at Metro Man."
"He wasn't?"
"Oh no. Well. No, I take it back. He did get mad at Metro Man last St. Patrick's Day."
Roxanne pulled back slightly, recalling the unpleasant memory. That kidnapping went terribly…
"I've never seen him so mad as when he got back home that night. He yelled at Metro Man for hours for dropping you. Screamed himself hoarse."
"He… did?"
Minion looked at her strangely in his fish bowl, opened his mouth, then flinched—
*CRASH*
"Oh! Um. Oh no, the brainbots are really, making a mess in there." He starts to stand. "I should. I should go check on them."
"Oh. Do you want me to go?" She points towards the door.
"Oh no! No, I'd love for you to stay, Miss Ritchi–"
*CRASH*
Minion narrowed his eyes back towards the noise, then looked back at her with a smile. "Really. I appreciate your company. If you have time of course."
"Yes, yes I'm off work today."
"Splendid! Wait here a moment, then I'll grill some tuna steaks!"
She smiled, watching him patter his giant gorilla feet down the hall.
Thank goodness. She was hoping for some company today to try to distract herself from the melancholy clinging hard to every drop of blood in her body.
Her motives were somewhat selfish in coming to see Minion. Yes, she was worried about him, an alien all alone who just lost his only family on the planet. But also… Minion is really the only one she can talk to about this. The only other person who knew the real Megamind, and miss him.
Heck, she didn't even know the real Megamind. But she saw a lot more than what the cameras saw.
She saw the way the muscles in his neck would tighten when people called him things like filthy or worthless. She saw the way he lit up when a particularly impressive part of his inventions worked as they were meant to. She saw the almost sweet way he played with his brainbots. She saw the way he…
Roxanne sighed, placing her chin in her hand.
It's no use thinking about all of this. So Megamind has a… had a soft side. And showed compassion when she had a bad day.
No. She needs to. Distract herself. Yes. Just for a moment while Minion is gone.
Pulling out her phone, Roxanne tapped into her work email. She told herself she's in mourning, so she's allowed to have an unhealthy work-life balance today.
Zooming right past the trigger words like Megamind, funeral, and such, she finally just clicked into the last email she received before all of this happened.
Bkropp
Dear Roxanne, bla bla bla, Metro Man Museum…
Maybe with… everything that's happened, they'll add a new section to the Metro Man Museum. Something about Metro Man's nemesis and, and super battle colleague, and.
Roxanne shook her head, loosening a pointless tear. Nono. She's already cried enough confusing tears in her apartment about her kidnapper and friend, thank you.
Annoyed, she taps too hard on her phone to reply.
Hi Bernard,
The museum piece went very well, I think. Thank you for all of your help. I was curious what changes the museum had planned due to recent events regarding Megamind. Any insight you could provide would be appreciated.
Thanks,
Roxanne Ritchi
There.
She put her phone down and only looked around at the kitchen for a minute before she got a notification of a reply.
Dear Roxanne,
It is difficult for me to access my work email at this time. However, if you call my cell directly, we can set up a time to get together to discuss details.
(678)555-1234 - Please call anytime.
I look forward to seeing you,
Bernard
One hand of Bernard 2.0 is clasping the light pole while he slowly circles around the outside of it. Vibrant green eyes fluttering around Metrocity. So many people and so much fresh air, breathing in deep deep breaths of tiny snow flurries.
When he spots his brunch companion, he beams.
"Miss Ritchi!" Bernard 2.0 rights himself, bouncing up to her with a smile. "You're here! Ollo."
Her eyebrows raise as a small smile curves on her lips. "Uh, hi? And it's Roxanne, please."
"Roxanne," he says, perhaps just a little too breathy. "Wow. You look. So pretty today."
"Oh! Um thank you."
"And look! Look how much sunshine there is this morning! You found, the most perfect cafe. Did you know that? The windows will catch the sunshine and that, that specific table is the perfect table to see both the snow in the park AND the art installation on 11th!"
Roxanne looked him over, giggling slightly. "Wow, Bernard. You're in a really good mood, huh?"
"I am?" he grinned and she huffed another slight giggle.
Oh.
Miss Ritchi is… especially breathtaking when she laughs. He already knew this of course, but it's… nice to be reminded.
Biting his lip, Bernard 2.0 swiftly pulled the door open for her, basking in the sweet 'thank you.'
"Oh no, that table. Over by the window, please. Yes, excellent, thank you!"
Haha! He can do this now! This is FANTASTIC. By far his most splendid idea he's ever had. Megamind has only been human for a few days and it's been glorious .
He was nervous last night, getting ready to meet Miss Ritchi this morning for her museum questions.
He was shocked when she called Bernard's old phone.
It took him a good 50 minutes to memorize every piece of literature about the new museum he could find, to be prepared for anything.
But now that he's actually here. Hands bouncing on a real cafe table, sitting across from the real Roxanne Ritchi (not in his dreams or anything!), Megamind can't think of the smallest reason to derail this nirvana.
Roxanne pulled her coat off of her shoulders, revealing a soft blue sweater. It matched her eyes perfectly. Made them sparkle…
Megamind made himself pull his eyes away and cleared his throat.
Ohhhh pancakes? Yes with strawberry sauce and strawberry pieces and whipped sweet cream.
After ordering, Miss Ritchi placed her laptop in front of her for notes and met his eyes across the table.
Wow.
"So the Metro Man Museum, can you tell me about the… Megamind exhibits?"
His eyebrows lifted. There's… very little.
"Of course. Um, we highlight some of Metro Man's most noteworthy battles. And while introducing the story of Metro Man's 'calling of destiny' when he traveled to Earth, there is a footnote about ah, Megamind."
She nods, face blank, waiting.
It feels odd to be telling her this way. This is really what she wanted to talk to Bernard about?
"They're both from the Glaupunk Quadrant."
"Oh." She types a note. When he doesn't continue, her brows touch in the middle "And what about any newly added exhibits? Will the museum be featuring more history–" she gestures strangely, frowning, "achievements, inventions, things like that?"
"For the supervillain? Nooo the museum wouldn't want something like that."
Miss Ritchi's face twisted in what he recognized as annoyance.
"Nothing?" She blinked at him and he fidgeted. "Not even what he's most famous for like his DeGun or his hoverbike or the Brainbots?"
She huffed an almost unprofessional puff of air. "You should bring it up to the board."
"Oh. I, that's something I could do."
Why is she so frustrated? She didn't seem like this when she came in. Now her shoulders are rising, her beautiful lips are frowning, her eyes keep looking down.
"Roxanne, I am not certain what… I should say."
"He's Metro Man's only threat," she snaps, "he's only worth a footnote to you people? Sorry. Sorry," she holds up her hands, taking a breath.
"I am sorry, Bernard. I know it's the Museum; it's not your fault." She pinches the bridge of her nose and Megamind leans forward, not recognizing this new emotion in her.
"It's ok."
Something like pain flits off of her face, startling him when she lifts her face. She speaks slowly, "In my professional opinion, the public will be expecting to see a handful of exhibits solely for Megamind given—given the um," she scowls down, swallowing. "What happened," she murmurs.
What?
Green eyes widen as he jerks his chin back.
She's upset. About his fake death. She's…
Roxanne's sunken face stares at her water glass, eyes gloomy.
"You're sad." He's so shocked that it slipped right past his filter and his mouth.
Wide eyes pop up to him. "I–" she looks away, "Well. Someone," she blinks hard, "passed away. Shouldn't I be sad?"
Oh. Oh no he's made her feel bad. Afraid. Ashamed. Guilty. Stars, he's horrible .
"It's ok," he blurts, drawing skeptical eyes to him. "Megamind was…" he lifted a shoulder, searching for reasoning, "part of your life. For three years."
Her eyes softened. "Yeah. It's… a lot to–to take in. Sorry." She took a long drink of water and regret dropped in his gut like a steel ball, knowing he did this to her.
"Roxanne, I'm," he flicked through a few dozen things to say, "That sounds difficult. What um, what are you thinking about in particular?"
Surprisingly, a small smile turns up her mouth. "When he turned Centaurus Street into gelatin."
"What–really?" he smiles.
"It was SUCH a big mess. Ruined my pants."
"Oh no."
"Yeah, the bottom cuffs were all stained blue," she grinned. "My feet were too."
"You know, I um, saw him fall in that gelatin."
"You did?"
"Oh yeah. His foot got stuck reeeeally deep in there. And he was just tugging and tugging when when it finally came out his boot was gone. Eaten by the gelatin."
She snickers, covering her mouth, and he bites his lip.
"And um, do you remember when he made that giant iced cream sundae for your birthday?"
"Yeah?"
"I think that was a last-minute plan. Because just before that, I saw him running around with a Cellulose Tis—I mean, some sort of ray gun. But it kept misfiring at random. And one of the misfires caught him and wrapped him up in toilet paper."
Roxanne laughs across the table. "Are you serious?"
"Oh yes," he grinned. "Wrapped around his giant blue head. He was flailing his arms, trying to rip himself free, spitting it out of his mouth."
She laughs again and Megamind's whole chest warms by at least 3 degrees.
He tells her a few more bloopers until her face is bright pink from laughing so hard and the waitress is giving them dirty looks. Who cares? Miss Ritchi is laughing. They should be giving him a medal.
The station pays for their lunch, and he makes an excited Megamind noise when they step outside together.
"Ooo the snowflakes are so clumpy now! Look how fluffy you became, falling from the sky when it was above freezing." Bernard 2.0 tilts his face up, then laughs when a large cluster of snowflakes lands on his glasses lens.
"Oh great. My hair is going to get all frizzy." Miss Ritchi frowns from under the overhang.
"Really?" He stops his prancing around to return to her.
"Yeah," she sighs. "I'll have to blow dry my hair before I have to be on the air in a couple hours and—"
"Oh here, would this help Miss Ritchi?" Bernard 2.0 pulls a pen out of his pocket, presses a button, and it flips out into an umbrella.
"Wow, where'd you get this?"
"I ur—" Amazon? Radio Shack? "I made it?"
Her blue eyes flash at him. "Really?"
"Uhhhh yeah yeah." He steps back out into the snow, walking beside her. "You could say it's like a hobby. You know like um, like painting or baking soufflé. I make ah, these?"
Her sharp gaze looks it over carefully, and he smiles.
"Can I um. Oh wait! It's Christmas next week! Can I make you one for Christmas?"
"Oh. No, you don't have to do that. It probably took forever to make."
"Not at all."
She pauses, tilting her head at him that way she did sometimes during kidnappings. Like when she was trying to figure out if he was teasing her.
"How about I pay you for one?"
He smirked at her, raising an eyebrow. "Miss Ritchi."
She smiles, "Rox-anne."
"Roxanne," he grins. "It's a Christmas present, right? It would ruin the fun if you paid for it."
She lifted an eyebrow at him so he wiggled his eyebrows back.
"Well, thank you then. You should really be putting this on Etsy or something though, this is really cool."
"Ahaha," he runs a hand through Bernard 2.0's hair and comes back with a snowy hand. He laughs, eyes tracking a big fluffy snowflake and he catches it in his cupped hands.
This is giving him a fantastic idea for a weather ray. Something with decking Metro Man up like a snowman. Yes! He'd look so ridiculous—oh.
Well.
He could still make the ray gun. For fun.
As his shoes plop, plop, plop through the snow, his eyes track down to them, grinning. He's never really taken the time to… notice snow before. He drags his shoes through the white clumps, cocking his head at the line on the sidewalk.
"Mm Mmm mm," he hums a tune, using his shoes to draw shapes in the snow that look suspiciously like blueprints.
"Mm. Mm mmmm." A small laugh draws his attention to Roxanne's amused observation of him, and he starts singing in a somewhat breathy voice. "Now it's raining more than ever. Know that we'll still have each other. I don't actually know the ly-rics. But you can stand under my um-brella-ella."
Roxanne laughs and he beams at her.
Arms raising gracefully in choreography, "Ey ey ey, under my um-brella-ella-ella."
Glancing around to see how close other people are, Roxanne joins quietly, "You can run into my arms. It's okay don't be alarmed. Come into me."
He spins around, face frozen, eyes wide.
"Haha," she grins down at the ground, raising her face back up with pink cheeks. "So um, what can I get you for Christmas?"
"Me?" He says a little breathlessly and her eyes flit to the ground again.