Ka-BOOM! The door to the Administrator's office went up in flames. In its wake was the quieter but just as ominous sound of a whirring minigun and a shotgun cock.
The Administrator spun her chair lazily around. "Gentlemen."
Scout was first to speak, of course, struggling against the grip of Spy and Engineer holding him back. "You've gotta lot of explaining to do, lady!"
"Odd you think I was involved," the Administrator said calmly. "What happens on Halloween doesn't concern me."
"Oh, this isn't about Halloween," Spy said, handing Scout's arm off to Medic and strolling lazily around Heavy and Demo, who kept their weapons trained on the woman in the chair. "This is about what happened the day before Halloween."
"When Miss Pauling called us in to discuss our deepest fears, assuring us that Merasmus had something planned to make zem come true," Medic said.
"But guess what we fought last night?" Sniper's voice was barely audible from how far back he was standing, but his laser sight danced around the Administrator as he shouted.
"MOTHERFECKIN' MONOCULUS!" Demo growled.
"And then, it all made sense," Heavy said.
"Who would want to get us all to admit our deepest fears? Get them all down on paper nice and neat?" Engineer growled, still holding back Scout.
"Mmph mrrprhm huddah?"
"Maybe someone who has tricked my colleagues once before already?" Spy loomed over the Administrator's chair.
Her eyes rolled. "You think I'd have such an elaborate setup on the front end, and no way to cover my tracks on the back? Please. Only an amateur like Miss Pauling would make such a mistake." She raised her voice slightly. "Speaking of which, I think it's about time you admit to everything, my dear."
Miss Pauling crawled out from under a computer table, one arm clutching her clipboard to her chest. Every head snapped in her direction, but their guns remained on the Administrator, although the laser dot danced across her forehead briefly before disappearing.
She'd known they'd probably react badly. Helen was right; she was a fool to not have considered a contingency plan to cover her tracks. But unlike Helen, Team Fortress felt fondly towards her, and hopefully she could leverage that to buy enough time to explain.
She took a deep breath, pulling into a hunched position and adjusting her glasses. Letting herself look vulnerable.
"I... I can see you're all upset..." Miss Pauling glanced at the Administrator. "Um. So, a couple months ago, there was a small protocol change..." She waited to see if the Administrator would cut her off. Nothing happened; this information must not be classified. "After that incident with the toothpaste monster, we lost some of the night staff, and we were short a few people to keep an eye on the security cameras. So, while I looked for new candidates, I tried to make up the difference myself with an alarm system that would wake me up anytime there was movement in RED barracks, so I could at least be watching the feed whenever something was happening." She pinched the bridge of her nose. "So yeah uh... I haven't been sleeping well for... the past few weeks."
Scout's thumb flew into his mouth to cut off his gasp of alarm, then stealthily slid back out so he was only biting the nail. "Oh man... I had no idea... I never woulda left my bed if I knew I was keeping you up..."
"Ack, it's bad enough Soldier here rouses us every bloody night," Demoman said. "You poor lass, havin' to deal with all that and more..."
"Now THIS is why I sleep elsewhere," Sniper shouted.
Pyro bent down to meet Miss Pauling's eyes. "Mmph mmph..."
"No, it's ok..." Miss Pauling accepted Pyro's help standing up. "It's nice of you to worry about me, but I... I worried about you too." She hugged her clipboard tightly to her chest. "It was hard... watching silently as Medic paced around his operating room, or Heavy sat with his head in his hands for an hour... even watching Scout run around to tire himself out again... knowing something was wrong, but having no idea what..." She glanced down at her incomplete list. "I... I wanted to help. But I didn't know how, and I knew asking wouldn't get anywhere, and that RED's health insurance wouldn't pay for therapy..."
"Wasteful," the Administrator muttered to herself.
"And uh... I was operating on even less sleep than usual." Miss Pauling laughed. "And the only plan I came up with... well, if I took too long perfecting it, then it wouldn't have been Halloween anymore, so I just forged ahead. I'm so stupid..."
"No, no you ain't!" Scout shouted. "I uh, I uh, I think it's really clever and uh-"
"We stayed up late doing plumbing for NOTHING?!" Soldier stomped his boots.
"Hey, calm down," Engineer said. "It really did need a good reworkin'."
"Besides!" Miss Pauling shrugged. "I totally did give Merasmus a nightmare-making artifact! It's not my fault he forgot to charge the stupid thing before Halloween!" She gave a thumbs up to the slack jawed mercenaries. "But hey, something to look forward to next year? At least we wrote down everything that'll happen, right?"
"Nyet." Heavy put one hand on Spy's shoulder, the other on Medic's. Perhaps because they were the two with the scariest snarls, and Heavy wanted to hold them back. "We will not see the things you wrote down next year. Next year, there will be no nightmares to make true." He looked around at his teammates. "We make this happen, Ja?"
Pyro cheered.
"Aye, that's the spirit." Demo reached out to shake Soldier, who was rigid with fury. "Whaddaya say, mate? Think yer up for the challenge?"
"Harrumph... there is nothing too difficult for a true American!" Soldier pointed dramatically at the ceiling.
"...so we're fixin' my respawn then?" Scout asked.
Sniper had come forward at some point, so now he finally was standing with the rest of the mercenaries. "I mean, like I said, I don't think I need any special help..."
"You will help others, then." Heavy poked Sniper in the chest, making Sniper gasp from the impact. "Since you are such strong man."
"Yes, friendship, happy times," Spy muttered. "You imbeciles think this will be so easy..."
Engineer and Medic were sharing a long, doubtful look.
"Huddah huddah huh!" Pyro told Spy.
"Yeah, he's right," Engineer said with a sigh. "Nothing good ever comes easy, fellas."
Spy hid his face with one hand.
"Well if you're all done with this sickening display of camaraderie," the Administrator said, "I suggest you get out of my office, because you only have ten minutes of prep time remaining."
A mad scramble ensued.
"Ahhh shoot what map are we at this time?"
"I left my tools at the base!"
"Huddah huddah huddah!"
"I have no Ubercharge! Soldier, do somezing dangerous!"
"Up up and awaaaaay!"
In the relative quiet that followed, the Administrator studied the hole Soldier had made in the ceiling. "This is coming out of your paycheck, Miss Pauling."
"Yes, ma'am."
AN: The story's not over yet though!
Every one of the mercs (including Miss Pauling) has a "nightmare buddy"-another merc whose worst nightmare has the same sort of fear at its core.
For example, Heavy and Medic: Heavy described a nightmare where he fails to protect Medic, and Medic described a nightmare where he fails to heal Heavy. At the heart of it, they both fear the same thing: failing to protect the one you care about.
The next five chapters will each be about one set of "nightmare buddies"