A/N: Thank you to everyone who has followed, favourited and commented on this story. Also, the views of my chapters are finally showing up again! Five months it's been! Also, 5 years since I first started publishing this story!
Italics = flashbacks
TW (spoilers): implied physical abuse and emotionally traumatic birth.
—
Amelia's POV
Anger and hurt.
Those are the two primary emotions that Amelia feels these days.
And that is what she feels as she watches Gwen and the Knights as they laugh and chat together while riding back from where Tom, Elyan and Gwen's father, is buried. It hurts to see how happy and well they are without her.
A hand touches her arm. Morgana.
"It's time, sister."
Amelia nods. She can do this. It won't kill them, she knows it won't.
The two of them mount their horses once more and ride to the field where they are to enact the plan.
"Wanne nædran, fram þæs foldan bosme astigaþ ge." They chant, casting their hands over the area in front of them.
They then ride away, hiding to watch and wait until Gwen and the Knights come into the field. Amelia's breath catches and she tries to hold back her emotions as she watches Percival lead the group along with Leon, right into the trap.
Snakes slither up to the horses, frightening them. Leon and Percival are thrown off their horses. Gwaine and Elyan frantically try to regain control of their own horses, trying not to fall as well. The latter cries for his sister to run for it. Gwen listens and gallops away.
Morgana smirks. "You must hurry, sister. Our prey is leaving."
Amelia swallows thickly and nods. She doesn't want to watch what's happening to Percival anymore than she has to.
It is not difficult to cut in front of Gwen. The Queen comes barreling towards her on her horse, coming to a startled stop once her eyes land on Amelia, who stands there, motionless, staring. Gwen quickly turns around her horse and attempts to flee. Amelia clenches her jaw, determined. She raises her hand, coiled into a fist, and sharply draws it back. Gwen comes flying off her horse and lands on the ground unconscious.
Amelia slowly walks over, crouching down to check if she's made any permanent damage. She hasn't thankfully. Morgana won't be disappointed.
—
Amelia and Morgana wait patiently, waiting for Gwen, who still lies on the forest floor, to wake. Gwen's arms have been tied up by rope.
Amelia begins to worry. "She's not waking. What if I—"
Morgana holds up a hand, silencing her. "Be patient, sister. All will be well."
Amelia's throat feels tight as she nods sharply.
Morgana strokes Gwen's cheek. The Queen startles at the sensation causing her to wake and quickly sits up, whipping around to look at who it was that had touched her. A horrified look on her face as she realises her hands are tied.
"Good morning my lady." Morgana greets coolly, smirking.
Gwen's body is tense as she analyses what lies in front of her, her eyes shift suspiciously between the sisters. "What do you want with me?"
Amelia plasters a smirk on her face. She wants to please Morgana to show her that her little sister is powerful and loyal. "Why so suspicious, Your Majesty? I thought you would like to play a game with us."
Gwen's eyes narrow. "A game?" She hopelessly tries to break herself free from her restraints.
"Just to find out how much Arthur loves you," Morgana replies nastily.
"It won't work." Gwen retorts.
Amelia raises a surprised eyebrow. "You would underestimate his feelings? That's quite harsh, Your Majesty." She says mockingly. She knows very well he would do this, he has saved her from nearly impossible danger a couple of times, and he will do it again.
"He's not stupid," Gwen warns.
Morgana shrugs. "We'll see."
"He'll know you've taken me. He'll know it's a trap."
"He will." Amelia's smirk drops. "But he'll still come."
Morgana moves away to get the horses. Amelia moves to follow but a hand grasps her wrist.
"Amelia, please," Gwen begs.
Amelia swallows heavily, her eyes flicking to where Morgana is before turning back to Gwen, face stone cold. "Why are you begging me for? Why so suddenly do you need me?"
"We're your friends, Amelia. We can help." Gwen pleads.
Anger boils up inside Amelia. "Can you? Then where were you? Where were all of you? Nowhere! I needed your help and you weren't there!" She cries tearfully.
"Amelia, I don't - what? What do you mean?"
Amelia frowns. "Sorry? No, you– she said that you knew– no one came–"
Her mind is awash with a multitude of emotions. Morgana always said that they knew what had happened to them, their imprisonment by the Sarrum and had abandoned them. But - but now Gwen is looking up at her with wide concerned eyes.
Morgana steps forward. "Perhaps it's time for us to leave."
Morgana's voice shakes Amelia out of her panicked state. She quickly resolves herself, building up the armour once more and placing on the mask.
—
A longer piece of rope is attached to the bit of rope binding Gwen's wrists and is being dragged along by Morgana on her horse, Amelia on her own horse as they travel to their destination.
Suddenly there's a thud and a rustle of leaves. Amelia turns to find that Gwen, who's heavily breathing, has now collapsed on the floor.
Morgana dismounts and holds out her waterskin in front of Gwen. "Here." Gwen stares at it blankly but does not take it nor says anything. Amelia watches on anxiously, her hands gripping the bridle.
"Is it too good for you now that you are Queen?" Morgana asks mockingly.
"Morgana..." Amelia tries to intervene. The sharp look she receives quickly silences her.
"I don't want anything from you." Gwen retorts still sounding breathless.
"Just my crown..." Morgana sneers before softening slightly and offers the water once more, "drink it. You may need it."
"Why?"
"I would not be in such a hurry to know." Morgana smirks at her before turning her face neutral again and pouring the rest of the water out in front of her.
Morgana mounts the horse again and continues to drag Gwen on their journey. Amelia quickly follows.
Hours and hours pass and there isn't so much as a peep from Gwen, just grunts and groans as she's pulled along. Amelia knows that by now Arthur, Merlin and the Knights are out searching for Gwen. They aren't going to find them for a long time though, the sisters have time.
Amelia and Morgana, along with an exhausted Gwen, make good time in reaching the Dark Tower and emerge out of the forest and into the empty plain that surrounds the tower.
—
Amelia clenches her fist tightly around her cup as she listens to Gwen's screams as she and Morgana eat dinner. Morgana sits next to her calmly nibbling on the food on her plate, unfazed by the cries. The table they sit at is cobweb-filled. Morgana argues there's no need to clean it as they won't be here for long and it adds to their plight when it comes to Gwen.
"It's working." Morgana grins.
She receives a tight smile from Amelia. This needs to be done, Amelia tells herself.
Amelia squeezes her eyes shut when she passes the door after dinner and hears Gwen pleading and begging. Amelia swears she hears Elyan's name.
When Amelia goes to sleep that night, she wraps herself around Aithusa, trying to get some sleep. Gwen's scared cries carry out throughout the night meaning she gets little sleep. Amelia feels like they can be heard from a mile away with the volume and honestly if anything is going to lead Arthur towards Gwen you'd think it would be the screams.
Amelia longs to see Ella again but she'd rather glad her daughter is not here with them and is instead in their usual base, away from the horrors.
—
When Morgana brings Gwen down for something to eat, Amelia can see the effect of spending a long period of time with the Mandrake roots on the supposed Queen of Camelot. Gwen's hair is even more unkempt than it was before, knotting with the lack of brushing. The bags under her eyes protrude and the eyes flicker anxiously around her as she's guided into her seat.
Morgana's nudge gets Amelia moving to grab a plate and place it in front of Gwen before taking the seat on her right while Morgana takes the one on the left. Now the manipulation begins.
"Eat, here, food always makes me feel better. You need to eat... your fading away." Morgana says in a kind tone, sounding genuinely concerned.
"I do not know what cruel trick you are both playing but I will not be broken by you either of you." Gwen retorts suspiciously.
Amelia sighs, reaching forward to touch Gwen's hand but the flinch causes her to retreat it.
"We just thought this would be nice. We know how lonely you must be. All by yourself in that room. At least you're not shackled." She sympathises. "There's daylight. You can move. You can see."
Gwen stares at her in slight confusion before her mask slips on again probably in some vain attempt in trying to keep them from thinking she is scared. Gwen was always bad at hiding her true feelings, besides the Mandrake root would have gotten to anyone by now. It has little care for how strong you are but instead, the painful memories.
"You expect me to be grateful?"
"We too have suffered, Gwen." Morgana speaks. "We spent two years living in darkness. We spent two years chained to a wall in the bottom of a pit..."
The mask has slipped once more and Gwen looks at them in confusion.
"You did not know?" Amelia questions. She had thought—
Shaking her head, Gwen shows her first sign of sympathy.
No doubt Arthur lied to her about what went on, to keep her placid and loyal. Yes, this is manipulation but perhaps this is Amelia's chance to get her old friend to understand.
"We would have sold our souls for someone to show us kindness such as this." Morgana continues. "Do you want us to take you back up there?"
Amelia gazes at Gwen's conflicted expression. The walls are being gradually torn down.
—
Gwen's power lies in her conviction and state of mind. That's what Morgana says. But once they break it, chipping away at it slowly until it makes her vulnerable, and they will be able to take over her mind and soul. Keeping her in that room is just one part of the plan. Another is to appeal to Gwen's sympathy. To show her that they understand her pain and are the only ones she can trust.
This time, it's just Gwen and Amelia eating together. Morgana isn't with them but no doubt Amelia's sister is nearby.
"What do want?" Gwen questions tearfully. The Mandrake roots have clearly done more damage, physically and psychologically.
"Nothing." Amelia remarks calmly, eating her grapes.
Gwen narrows her eyes doubtfully. "Nothing."
Amelia pauses her eating and sits back in her chair, shrugging. "Alright. Not nothing. I just want to tell you a story."
"You've already told me about the Sarrum."
"Yes, but do you know about what he did to my daughter?" Amelia asks. "Surely you've heard about her by now. They can't have lied to you about that as well." Her voice is mocking and spiteful.
Gwen doesn't say anything but Amelia knows she has her attention.
"Now, you were not at Percival and I's wedding for reasons we both know and do not need to go into further discussion." She can't help the slight smirk when Gwen reacts to that. She should be reminded of Arthur's betrayal. "But beforehand, I had learnt I was pregnant. Anne was the only one in the know. But then came Morgana's conquering of Camelot then our kidnapping by the Sarrum and I was never able to tell anyone else."
Amelia's mind drifts away as she thinks of those years under the Sarrum's control.
"I'm sorry." Gwen says softly.
This snaps Amelia out of it. She turns to Gwen sharply. "Don't be." She snaps. She takes a deep breath to calm her anger. "Now, on with the story…"
A group of men, accompanied by the Sarrum, drag a struggling Amelia by her arms into a room, toward a pile of sheets. Her long brown hair is in disarray and saturated in sweat. A couple of women wait for them. Amelia screams in fright, in terror for her child. Morgana gets pulled in after her. Both of them are in chains to stop them from using their magic, controlling them.
"Get her down on the floor!" One of the men instructs.
"The baby is coming now." One of the women observes.
"Amelia!" Morgana cries. "Let her go!"
The Sarrum grunts in frustration and spins around, promptly backhands Morgana across the face. "Be quiet, witch!"
Amelia fights against the men holding her down. "AHHH! LET ME GO!"
She can hear one of the women telling her to be calm.
"Please don't do this to me." Amelia begs, sobbing. "You've taken so much already."
"She's almost ready!"
"No! NO! You will not take my baby." Amelia chokes out when she has a moment to breathe after a wave of pain.
"You need to stay calm!" One the women says, stroking Amelia's forehead in a failed attempt to calm – or maybe comfort – her.
Amelia cries and shakes her head no as she continues to struggle against her restraints. "No! NO! NO! AAH! AAH!"
One of the women covers Amelia's lower half with a sheet. Amelia screams in agony as her labour progresses.
"One last push! Push! The baby's almost here!"
Amelia hears Morgana screaming in the background.
"No! No!" They can't have her baby. They can't—
"I can see the baby!" One woman says.
"Push! Gently! Gently!" Another urges.
Amelia falls backwards in exhaustion just as the baby is born. Both Amelia and Morgana stop screaming once they see the baby. One of the women helps cut the umbilical cord, and the other wraps the baby in a blanket.
"You have a beautiful baby daughter." The latter tells her, holding the baby up for Amelia to see.
Ella…
Tears well up in Amelia's eyes at the sight of her child. "Please, let me see her."
The woman moves to do just that, but she's stopped by the Sarrum crying out, "Woman, don't! What are you doing?"
The woman gives the baby to one of the men. They leave the room with the baby.
Amelia cries and screams, "No, no, not my baby, please! No, no!"
No one stops Morgana as she crawls over to her, cradling Amelia's face. "No Amelia, I promise she will return to you! I promise!"
Amelia can barely hear her, sobbing uncontrollably. "No, no, please."
Morgana embraces her. "Let her go... let her go Amelia."
Amelia clings desperately to her sister. "I need her, Morgana. I need her."
"Sssh. Do not worry. We'll get her back. You can rely on me. You can always rely on me."
"He took my child from me. I didn't even get to hold her." Amelia says quietly as she finishes her story. She sniffles, whipping away her tears.
"I'm sorry." Gwen murmurs sorrowfully.
Amelia scoffs. "What's the point of your apologies? Where were you, Percival, Anne, Merlin, Gaius, Arthur and everyone else when I needed you? Morgana is the only that's been there for me. Where were all of you?"
"I-I didn't know."
"Maybe not, but I'm sure they did." Amelia retorts.
Gwen stays silent. Amelia lets out a sigh.
"All that is important is that I have her now, I just wish I didn't miss those initial months."
Gwen nods. There's a pause before Gwen seems to reach out to touch Amelia's hand then catching herself and retracting her hand.
Small progress.
—
Gwen's POV
"Don't look you'll be alright…" Gwen cries and whimpers, on the floor crying and clutching her ears, trying to block the screams out, "don't look you'll be alright… d-don't lo-ok… don't look you'll be alright..."
She needs to hold firm against the ones who torment her. They come with masks of kindness, but if she ever dares to trust them, they dash all her hopes. Elyan, Merlin and Arthur. She has learned how to outsmart Amelia and Morgana's tricks. She has learned to... survive.
Morgana came, tried to encourage her, tried to trick Gwen but Gwen held firm, she has to hold on.
Amongst her sobbing, Gwen catches on to an echoing sob. She slowly retracts her hands from her ears, pulling herself up into a sitting position as she glances around the room. Her breath is shaking as she tries to look through the darkness. She tenses, expecting the screaming to start up once again but instead, the sobs continue.
Gwen slowly crawls towards the sound and on the other side of one of the pillars is Amelia curled up in a ball sobbing. This Amelia looks different. The woman of old who had looked like a princess and was kind and helpful. Despite not being solid, her skin looks healthy and her brown hair is less matted.
"Amelia?" She shakily reaches out to her once friend but Amelia flinches back.
Her blue eyes are full of tears and red-rimmed as she looks at Gwen. "You all abandoned me, Gwen. None of you came to look for me. Where were you?"
"No, no," Gwen shakes her head frantically, "we did. We—"
"Where were you?!" Amelia screams, lunging towards Gwen who scrambles back. "Where were you? Where were you?!"
Gwen frantically rounds a pillar to hide from Amelia's fury. Eventually, Amelia's screams dissipate. Gwen closes her eyes, squeezing them to stop the tears from falling, stop the guilt.
She doesn't want to see any more visions... fake as they may be, they still haunt her very soul. What if this place only tells her the truth and this is what they really think of her? Is Morgana right? Or maybe the place wants her to think that so she won't think it is a possibility and she will think it.
This is all so confusing, she can't think straight, why can't she think straight?
When she opens her eyes, she peaks around the pillar to see Amelia is no longer there and slowly steps out.
"Gwen?"
Gwen turns to see Amelia again standing in front of her except this time she's solid. Her skin is paler, her brown hair is no longer properly brushed and the dress has tears in it. She doesn't dare hope it is anything, just another cruel trick.
She closes her eyes and presses her hands to her ears, shaking her head. Maybe it'll go away…
She feels a hand on her shoulder. She opens her eyes and moves her hands away from her ears slowly. Amelia had crouched down in front of her, concern etched all over her face. Gwen doesn't know when she began crouching on the floor again.
Gwen winces, trying to get away. Amelia looks hurt for a moment, and Gwen tries to tell herself it is all an act. She doesn't not feel sorry, feel guilty for all Amelia and Morgana have gone through.
"Gwen, come here." Amelia tries to wrap her in a blanket.
"N-no." She shakes her head though she realises she's shaking. She has to resist, she has to—
"You're cold, please," Amelia argues. "I couldn't bear it if you caught a chill.
Something in her voice causes Gwen not to protest this time and Amelia wraps the blanket tightly around her. When Amelia pulls back, Gwen has a close-up view of her bare forearms as her sleeves have slipped. There are scars on her arms. She lets out a small gasp of shock. Amelia's wrists are just the start of it. Her pale arms are flecked with scars and sores, and Gwen is sure her back is much the same.
"Amelia..." She whispers, gripping Amelia's wrists.
"This is what people do to my kind," Amelia says, emotionless, pulling her wrists away and pulling her sleeves down.
"I'm sorry." That is all she can say. She faintly realises she hasn't heard the screams in a while, no horrific visions.
Amelia looks at her slowly, as if thinking of what to say. "I know."
"What else happened to you?"
And Amelia talks to her, keeping the screams at bay. Gwen listens to her saviour's voice, hears the gentle murmur, the angry fury, the bitterness and despair. Amelia tells her everything and Gwen realises some things.
It is only in Amelia or Morgana's presence that the ghosts go away, it is only with their voices that the screams subside.
Time is meaningless. A million eternities pass, and Amelia shares with her the deepest secrets of her heart and fills her with words.
"I just want to be free Gwen. Will you help me? Will you save me?" Amelia questions earnestly.
"Yes…"
She is Amelia and Morgana's faithful servant, the only ones to understand her, the only ones she trusts.
—
Amelia's POV
Amelia stands watching from the shadows. The band of so-called heroes have arrived to save Gwen and can be heard making their way through the Tower.
Gwen stands in the centre of the room, an enchanted sword hovering in front of her, 'defending' her. The plan to lure Gwen over has gone incredibly well. Morgana had told Amelia how proud of her she was. Amelia is happy to have pleased her sister.
Elyan appears and desperate to save his sister, immediately starts engaging with the sword. He fights for a while then the sword stabs Elyan. But he continues fighting the sword and outwits it by making it go out a window and shutting it. The sword comes flying back but goes into the shutter and is still. Elyan collapses and Gwen rushes over to him.
Amelia watches sombrely as Gwen comforts her dying brother. This is necessary she tells herself. The final break in Gwen's mind, but that doesn't stop Amelia from feeling a little sad for the Knight. Despite him protecting Arthur and all the injustice he stands for as a Knight of Camelot, Elyan isn't one of the bad ones.
—
Gwen was taken back to Camelot, to be paraded as another success for the so-called Knights of the Round Table.
Amelia and Morgana wait in the woods a couple of nights later, waiting for Gwen. A figure in a black cloak soon arrives. The three of them share an embrace.
"How is he?" Amelia questions eagerly.
"Arthur thinks he has won. He has no idea." Gwen tells them proudly.
"Do you understand now who you can trust?" Morgana asks.
"It's both of you. It's only ever been you two." Gwen declares.
"You are not one of them. And you never will be." Amelia says, repeating the words Morgana had always said to remind her of what they needed to do.
"You don't know how much I hate them. All of them." Gwen replies, spite and hatred heavy in her voice.
"You have done well to see past the lies to the real truth. You have an important part to play in the future. Together we will ensure the destruction of everything that Arthur holds dear." Morgana declares.