Chapter 3:

One thing Link remembered from this endeavour was that he hated planning.

He had always preferred to go into things headfirst, damning the consequences, both on his quest to save Hyrule with Navi, and as a young child with Saria by his side.

At first he wanted to get a used privy bowl and pour the contents over Lord Lydden's head, whilst he was in the courtyard talking to his father, but by the time he had located a privy, which stunk, the Lord Lewys had taken his leave to go to his room with one of his many mistresses.

With that plan in tatters he had to think of an entirely new one, and with the time constraint he had, they were leaving in the morning after all, it didn't leave him exactly hopeful.

It took him hours to come up with his new master plan, the sun had gone down hours before, the idea was so evil he laughed out loud. His answer was one of his worst enemies back in Hyrule. One of the evilest monsters to roam Hyrule, and surely created by Ganondorf himself for the sole purpose of thwarting him at every turn.

Cuccos

On paper the operation was rather simple, nothing he hadn't done before. Under the cover of the early morning darkness, he would steal a cucco, or chicken as people called them in this life, from one of the coops in the courtyard attached to the kitchens, and then sneak into Lord Lydden's rooms and place it on his bed. So instead of waking up with a beautiful woman sleeping on his chest, it would be a cucco clucking in his ear. The timing had to be perfect so he could be in the main courtyard of the castle and ready to go on time without arousing any suspicion from Lord Lydden, or worse, his father.

The plan went off without a hitch, until it didn't.

He encountered his first, and arguably biggest problem as he hopped through the kitchen window into the courtyard with the cucco coops. How was he going to get the cucco out of the coop silently without alerting all of the other cuccos of his presence, which would cause enough of a commotion that would get him caught? He didn't know.

So he decided to do it anyway.

The eight coops were all fairly big structures fashioned from wood and coated in a deep red paint, fit to house around twenty cuccos each. The coops were situated in random positions along the courtyard; he opened the gate of the closest cucco coop to the kitchen window silently and squeezed through the entrance of the coop. As soon as his foot touched the old floorboards of the coop it let out an ominous creeeeek.

He froze, preparing to run out at any moment, but thankfully, the wretched creature remained in its deep slumber. He slowly reached out and wrapped his arms around the closest cucco on his right, gripping it gently, but firmly, the way one might hold a babe, which he had only done once in his life. And as he slowly snuck out of the coop, made his way back through the kitchen window, which was a challenge by itself, and got safely back into the kitchen, he let out a sigh of relief.

Which was a big mistake.

Somehow, him letting out a sigh of relief awakened the stupid bird, from its slumber. And as it peered its deep void like eyes at him, Link, for the first time in his new life, felt true fear.

The cucco parted its long red beak, as if to let out a big cluck, which would have no doubt alerted the guards to his location, and promptly fell back asleep.

Thank Farore he chose a stupid cucoo.

From then on it was simple, Lord Lydden's guards were as, if not more, incompetent than Zelda's were, making it easy for him to stealthily enter the Lord Lydden's chambers once they changed rotation. Now came the hard part, to leave the infernal beast with Lydden without being caught in the process.

The room he entered was certainly gaudy, filled with elaborate tapestries depicting ancient battles and rare jewels, but truly nothing compared to the ostentatious and opulent halls of Casterly Rock.

As Link gently pushed the door to the bedchamber open and entered the room, the woman who was supposed to be asleep had a crossbow levelled at him.

"Who are you?" The woman asked with a harsh whisper, even as the crossbow in her hands trembled. Link swallowed and shifted the chicken in his arms. The one time he acted his physical age, his life was threatened.

She was a woman of Valyrian descent with deep indigo eyes and shining silver hair, he noted, and Link had to turn his eyes away from the woman in embarrassment, due to her state of dress, or lack thereof. Lydden broke the tense silence with a snore that would wake the dead. Pity welled in Link's stomach for the girl, even as she threatened his life. The girl was no woman grown as he had first thought, she looked to be only a few years older than he. For such a disgusting man to sleep with a girl who looked to be only just a few years flowered was wrong.

"And why do you have a chicken?" She asked, more than a little incredulous.

"My name is Link, my lady, and I'm here to-"

"Kill Lord Lewys with a chicken." She said, bemused.

"No- I'm not here to kill anyone, just to humiliate Lord Lydden." Link sputtered, his face flushing beet red with embarrassment. Link breathed in and out, calming himself before looking the woman straight in the eyes, before saying passionately, "to humiliate him for the shame and humiliation he puts upon his Lady wife every day, a taste at what she is forced to suffer with no respite with no way to fight back."

She then lowered the crossbow completely and said, whilst stretching like a cat, "Explain to me why I shouldn't scream and wake the fat Lord up right now"

Link sighed, he should have known that this was a stupid idea. Gerion had always told him that he should jape more, why do I ever listen to you Uncle?

"You say sweet words, but milord Lydden pays me with sweeter gold." She said, voice dripping with false sweetness.

Link steeled himself and grimaced, it always came down to coin in the end. "Lord Lydden's gold may be sweet my lady, but I am the heir to all the riches of Casterly Rock, and a Lannister always pays his debts."

Her indigo eyes widened as the crossbow fell from her limp hand and her already pale skin paled further. "Of course milord Lannister, I apologise for my behaviour." She said, obviously petrified now, whilst doing a shaky curtsy.

"Just call me Link, none of them fancy titles, and don't be sorry, I'm the one who broke into these rooms with a chicken." Link said, shame clogging his throat for terrifying her with just his name alone.

"I'll help you, I swear, please I beg you, I'll do anything-"

"I shall not harm you, my lady, I swear. All you need to do is take the gold, leave these chambers and tell Lord Lydden that you left after he fell asleep last night." Link said, interrupting her, whilst handing her the bag of dragons that he had taken from his allowance for the trip to King's Landing. He could see the sun slowly creeping its way up the horizon, it wouldn't be long before he would be expected to meet with his father and brother, he didn't have much time left.

"Many thanks, milord." The girl said, and with one more shaky curtsy, she fled the room.

After she left, Link crept towards the bed where the Lord slept, and carefully bent over Lydden to gently place the infernal creature on Lord Lewyn's huge chest only for the pungent stench of him to hit his nose and make him almost drop the bloody bird. He then quickly crept from both chambers, and when he got to the common halls where he saw servants milling about, he threw caution to the wind and ran all the way back to his rooms and jumped on his bed just in time for the maid to come in and 'wake him' from his slumber.

As Link sat next to Tyrion with a cocky grin in the great hall of Deep Den, everyone in the hall from his father to the 'lowliest' of servants heard a choked scream with the distinct voice of the Lord Lydden.

Seeing his opportunity as everyone around him rushed about in a hurry, to see what happened to their Lord, a laugh burst from his throat, and so with his quest completed, turned his head towards Lady Lydden, who was coincidently looking right at him, and winked.

Unaware of the furious eyes of his father drilling holes into the back of his head.

It's a wrap! I want to just quickly say I'm extremely surprised at the reception that my story has been given, so THANKYOU!