(CW: death/graphic battle)

Here we are!

We're hitting midterms round one and lmao physics is gonna screw me over but the chapter after this one is halfway done already. I'm gonna try to get it out next Sunday.

If you forgot all of Thomas's pokemon, there's a reference on my profile. Just click my name.

All right! Enjoy!

Thomas had obtained his third gym badge (good riddance), so the next morning he and I headed out to Lake Valor. He figured he could get a badge from Pastoria and then go up to Veilstone.

"Do you want to stay longer to fight the Hearthome gym again?"

"Nah. Def has teleport. I'll just come back after."

While packing to head out, I found a hard edge I didn't recognize in my bag. I pulled it out – it was Megan's gift.

I could easily have fallen for her.

Can I just explain why this was a terrifying thought?

I hadn't stopped thinking about it all night. The minor reasons were things like "I have no idea how my parents feel about this kind of thing" and just the general shock factor of having always assumed I was straight SURPRISE TIME TO QUESTION EVERYTHING

But the major factor was her. Megan was my best friend. I couldn't fall for my best friend – what if she found out I liked her and things got weird between us? Or what if she turned out to be nonstraight too and we started dating and things went downhill and never got back up? It was our friendship I wanted to preserve above anything.

This was all hypothetical, though. Lucas. I liked Lucas. Maybe I was just stressed out about him. Yeah. That must have been it.

I unwrapped the gift and opened the box. A necklace, just a thin chain and a pendant in the shape of a heart.

I looked closer. Was that a shiny stone?

Yeah. A shiny stone. So that I could fly home.

(Yes I know I have a ralts who teleports but the sentiment is important)

I looked at my reflection in the closet door mirror. She and I sighed.

Megan, what am I going to do about you?

I walked up to the mirror to clasp the necklace, but paused.

…maybe later. This felt too soon.

I put the necklace back in its box and headed out of the room.

And off we went. It took me well over a week just to get to Pastoria, first time around, but this time we only needed about four days. Sunday was the day Looker had written "Shaymin" in the diary, but the day came and he didn't contact me. Monday was "Darkrai/Cresselia," and still there was no word.

I called him. "I know," he said tiredly when I brought it up. "But I don't have enough information and I don't trust the info I have."

"What are we going to do?"

There was silence on his end.

"I don't know," he whispered.

Thomas battled Crasher Wake while I vidcalled Tricia.

"How's it going?" she said.

"Good," I answered. "I'm doing some research at Lake Valor for the Professor."

"Ooh, cool! Lucas is in town for Lake Verity."

"Yeah."

"How's it going between you guys?"

I opened my mouth and tried to figure out what to say. How could I explain Stark Mountain without explaining Looker and Galactic and time travel?

"It's… okay. I mean, I think he's still mad at me."

"What happened?"

"I… I saw him and he was mad still."

"Do you know why?"

"I don't know." That wasn't a lie.

"Weird." She frowned. "Have you tried asking him?"

"No."

"Maybe that'll help."

Maybe. Worth a shot, I guess.

"Oh yeah, Megan visited you, right?" Tricia said.

"Yeah."

"Nice. My parents wouldn't let me go. But I hope you had fun."

But Tricia didn't know it was my birthday, so I'd have had to explain it if she did come. That or we'd have hid it from her. And now she didn't know about me possibly falling for Megan, which I couldn't tell her because that implied I was closer to Megan than Tricia, which was now true and the wall between us was growing and growing…

"Yeah. It was great. I actually gotta go, I think Thomas is done battling already."

"Oh, who's Thomas?"

ARCEUS WHY?

"My friend. I'll introduce you sometime. Gotta go."

"Do you have a pokemon that can surf?"

Thomas had to think about it. "No. Probably should."

I made a face. "Well, this'll be an adventure. I'm supposed to get to the cave if possible."

"Haven't you been there before?"

"Yeah. I might just say I went in and looked around and not specify when."

(Because I definitely wanted to go back in that cave again, and also my name is Rumpelstiltskin and I have snake arms)

Thomas (who now had four badges yay) and I stopped at the resort for a bit, then went on to Lake Valor. Clouds hung densely in the sky, the day more dark than damp. Upon passing through the trees, I smelled that particular fresh-air lake smell again. I shivered.

"Why am I here?" I muttered.

Thomas heard. "Do you want to turn back? You've already been here anyway–"

"No. Uh-uh." It was easier to reflexively deny Thomas than anything. I took a deep breath – aagh fuck not that smell again. "Let's go," I said, leading the way.

The research "plan" was to scout the edges of the lake for Arceus-knows-what and somehow make my way to the island in the middle. I'd probably ask to borrow Thomas's noctowl at that point.

"Are you sure you're okay?" Thomas asked when we were a quarter of the way around the lake.

"I'm fine."

"You're literally clutching your stomach."

"There is a hand on top of my stomach. That's not the same thing."

"Evelyn–"

"Just let me get around this lake in peace."

At some point in the next five minutes or so, I happened to look up at the lake. We were walking along a path that wound through the trees near the shoreline. For a moment I thought I saw something small and misty above the water. A tree passed in front of my vision, and the thing was gone.

I stopped. "Did you see that?"

"See what?"

"Never mind." I kept walking, a little faster now.

We must have been… I dunno, like 5/8 of the way around the lake when I heard a yell and a crash up ahead. I broke into a sprint.

"What are you doing?" Thomas yelled.

"Seeing if they're okay!"

"It's probably a trainer battle!"

"We actually care about each other in Sinnoh!"

He fell behind. I snickered. It probably was a trainer battle. But now I was getting around the lake faster. Maybe I'd just keep running if things were okay.

That didn't happen. I saw Quasar.

"What the…" I noticed Mars. Her purugly. Quasar, my staravia, feebly trying to get up after being thrown into a tree.

"Oh no you fucking don't," I snarled, hurling two pokeballs. "Trust, mach punch, Prom, brick break. Avoid the claws!"

Purugly hissed and swiped at the oncoming pokemon. Trust hit first and hit again; Prom hit nearly as fast. Purugly, who was battered already from fighting Quasar – Of course he put up a fight, I thought a bit proudly – sank to his knees under their blows.

"Discharge! And finish it!" Mars cried, throwing out another pokemon. I steeled myself, physically and mentally, but there was nothing in this world – nothing in this universe that could have prepared me for coming face to face with her.

My second pokemon. My fighter. My luxray.

Liana.

I must have blacked out. One minute she and I had locked eyes, and the next thing I knew my pokemon were down and her eyes were alight with electric fire that burst from her fur–

"OLIVER!"

Something small leaped between me and Liana, shielding me from her electric discharge. I came back to my senses, and as Thomas stumbled in, breathing heavily as he had in Jubilife, I realized he'd sent out his sixth pokemon.

And, well…

Oliver was a wooper.

Thomas looked at me and frowned. "Are you all right?" he mouthed.

I shot a distraught look at him and shrugged. My stomach was worse than ever. Liana. I finally found Liana.

"I need backup!" Mars yelled into a radio.

Trust and Promise, I saw now, were paralyzed but conscious. Liana was fighting Oliver, swiping at him and snarling. The five-pointed star on her tail swished violently through the air. Oliver dodged with ease and grace and took the electric hits like they were nothing. I opened my mouth to tell Trust and Promise to do something.

Against Liana?

I hesitated. My chest hurt.

Mars's backup arrived in the form of five grunts circling us. Thomas and I automatically stood back to back.

"It's all right. I got us covered," he said, throwing his other five pokemon into the mix.

The grunts threw their pokeballs. Prom put up a protect around him and Trust. As much as my stomach and heart hurt, I couldn't just do nothing. I reached out to Definite.

"Are you guys ready?"

There was a strange feeling in my head, like a psychic laugh.

"Definitely."

Faith burst out of her pokeball without me needing to release her. Def teleported out, and I released Courage myself.

There are moments in trainer life when nothing goes right. But for every one of those, there's a moment where you're so, so proud to be the leader of your team.

Courage darted through battle to bring cheri berries to Trust and Prom. Def teleported around, hitting the poison types with confusion, not lingering in any given spot for more than a split second. Faith popped in and out of shadows, using confuse ray on as many Galactic pokemon as possible so they'd start attacking each other.

Thomas's side of the battle wove through mine. Trust and Cassie amplified each other's fire attacks, Prom and Marcassin and Swaine danced around each other's targets, switching combat opponents to confuse them. Esther stunned the pokemon Faith hadn't confused, so that they were easy targets for the ones she had.

Liana managed to get far enough from Oliver to use discharge. It hit everyone in the vicinity – mostly golbats. One grunt. But it took out Silver and Prom.

I realized Coeur was staring at me. In retrospect, she must have seen the look on my face.

Coeur tackled Liana, who slashed back and cut her ear. Coeur ducked under Liana and blasted a shadow ball into her underside. Liana tried to use discharge but Oliver caught up and got in the way. Coeur kicked sand in Liana's eyes and used quick attack. Liana swiped and hit Oliver away, and her discharge hit Coeur. Coeur shook it off and dove back in.

Coeur and Luxray. Emmy and Liana.

Other battles wound down in our favor. Trust finished with a croagunk and sprang into the Coeur-Liana battle, falling hard with a brick break in the middle of Liana's back. She crumpled.

"Retreat!" Mars yelled.

The grunts recalled their pokemon and ran a few feet into the bushes. They zoomed out of there on hoverscooters – damn, I'd wondered when they'd start using those. Mars boarded behind a grunt. "I don't know why you're here, but in the end, Galactic will win. You'll see." With that, she sped off behind the other grunts into the distance.

Those of us left were breathing hard. I looked around. There was an ampharos I didn't rec– oh, it was Esther. I also saw a kirlia.

"Congrats," I told Def.

"Merci beaucoup."

I turned around and locked eyes with Thomas. He had a smile of relief and a bit of triumph. Shit, he'd saved me again, hadn't he? With Oliver?

There was one other thing.

"Where's Quasar?"

"Who?"

Trust answered me before I could explain. I ran over to where he stood, staring into the bushes. At the base of a tree lay Quasar, three deep scratches across his throat. Trust checked for a pulse, and looked at me in pain.

"Liana," I muttered.

"Hm?"

"They were best friends."

I turned and started running. If Thomas tried to follow, my pokemon stopped him. I sprinted to get away and nothing was going away. The air stayed cold and dark and my chest wouldn't stop hurting. At some point I ditched the path and ran through the woods, low branches stinging my face, tall shrubs scratching my legs.

Mars has Liana killed Quasar Thomas saved me Looker is lost Tricia doesn't know Lucas is mad Megan oh no I can't I can't I can't I can't I can't I can't

My pace slowed.

I can't I can't

My legs grew heavy and stopped.

I buried my head in my hands and sank down.

What am I doing this for.

Water lapped at my feet – I'd reached the shore at some point.

Knees to my chest, something in me about to burst, something in me already burst.

I can't do this anymore.

I didn't notice for a moment that the blueness of the lake was not a reflection of the sky.

I looked up. A small figure, translucent and glowing blue, floated in front of me. My first reaction was to flinch, because I knew this pokemon as Lucas's killer. But Azelf's eyes were kind.

He reached out. I hesitated. He smiled.

I took his hand.

When I was little I had a bad habit of refusing to say goodbye. I'd see my friends the next day at school, sure, but I never wanted to leave their house right then. I did everything I could to lengthen the stay, and cried when we finally left.

Whenever I lost a playground game, I argued with the judge as to why I was still in. It delayed the game at least a minute every time – more if I didn't win the argument.

Megan and I had to make a paper roller coaster in middle school. I stayed up til three trying to perfect a specific piece of the track.

I remember training for three days with Trust in Oreburgh Gate so we could beat the rock-type gym. I remember running from Jubilife to the Valley Windworks in a few hours. I remember searching for Liana all day and thinking I'd go back the next day to do it again.

Megan, when I told her about going from a seven-badge trainer to being rescued by Thomas, said, "Evelyn, you're going to be great. You're a strong, determined person, and even if you hadn't gotten there before, I know you'll be able to get there again."

I can do this.

Azelf grinned. I stood up. My chest still ached, but beyond that there was a strength I'd forgotten. Strength of… the heart? Or, no, something else. A strength that told me I could – and would – keep going.

Of course. Strength of will.

Even though most of him was a clear shade of blue, Azelf's eyes were gold. Amber, even. Like Lucas's. Not at all red.

Why did it take so long to realize…

"It was Saturn who killed Lucas," I said. "Not you."

Still smiling, Azelf closed his eyes and vanished.