Happier – Part 2

Summary: Follows Chapter 4 Traitor. Damon and Bonnie are happy together and Elena is forced to watch them from afar…and she can't help the jealousy that flares up inside. Elena POV

Oh, I hope you're happy, but not like how you were with me
I'm selfish, I know, I can't let you go
So find someone great but don't find no one better
I hope you're happy, but don't be happier

And do you tell her she's the most beautiful girl you've ever seen?
An eternal love bullshit you know you'll never mean
Remember when I believed you meant it when you said it first to me?
And now I'm pickin' her apart
Like cuttin' her down make you miss my wretched heart
But she's beautiful, she looks kind, she probably gives you butterflies

AN: Hey everyone! Thanks for sticking around with me on this collection! I have so many more ideas to come. I do want to comment back on a guest review about Traitor that I unfortunately couldn't respond to in a PM. Lol yes, I know, calling someone (especially a 150-year-old vampire) a traitor seems sort of trivial and childish, but Elena was directing it to both of them, and it's also a call back to a lyric taken directly from the song that was the inspiration behind the fic. I guess you didn't cheat, but you're still a traitor. I just wanted to explain that little tidbit there. I know it's a little more Elena centric, but I won't be doing many like this, just thought the songs were fitting 😊

…

Elena stood awkwardly in the living room, looking around at the house that she lived in not even six months ago. Those days felt like yesterday to her, but it seemed like everyone else had moved on; especially Damon and Bonnie. Elena had taken a couple months to visit Jeremy in San Antonio, knowing that the distance would help with healing, but coming back home only reopened the wound. She'd only been back a week, and while she had done her best to avoid them both, and the boarding house, the constant wheel of impending doom always drew them all together and to this place.

She knew she'd been caught staring longingly at Damon while he explained the latest plan, or perking her ears up to hear the hushed tones when they thought no one was around. For the sake of the others, she kept it to herself, and held it together but her relationship with Bonnie would never be the same. Their conversations were uncomfortable and brief, filled with tense silences and little to no eye contact.

Their laughter filtered through the house, and it ripped through her painfully. When she raised her eyes, she caught them coming down the stairs, Bonnie wrapped around him like a koala bear as he carried her on his back. They suddenly became serious when they saw her, and Bonnie hopped down as they reached the bottom step. Bonnie gave him a look, resting her hand on his chest, and he nodded in understanding, watching her walk off into the other room to leave him to talk to Elena.

"Sorry to just show up like this." Elena tucked her hands in her back pockets nervously.

Damon eyed her as he sauntered closer, but still leaving ten feet between them. The space felt like an ocean to her. "Everything okay?"

"Yeah…I just thought I'd give this back to you." She pulled out a book from her purse handing it back to him. "Jeremy said he found it in with all of his school stuff."

Damon's fingers coasted over the first edition cover. The Count of Monte Cristo. It was his favorite as a teenager; one he read again and again and despite how little it was worth in monetary value, it was a sentimental token of his human life and it meant a great deal to him. "Thank you."

She nodded, as a long gap of silence filled the air. "So…is Bonnie living here now?" She couldn't help it; it came out before she could stop it from slipping passed her lips. Damon sighed, placing the book down on the coffee table, his warning eyes darting up to meet hers in response. Yes, they said, but I didn't want to be the one to tell you. "Little soon, isn't it?" she added bitterly.

"Elena…" he cautioned in a way that told her she should tread lightly.

She huffed a sarcastic laugh, holding her hands up. "Sorry, but can you blame me for thinking that you two are moving a little fast? I mean, it's been what? A few months? Are you sure you're making the right decision here?"

Damon reigned in his frustration so he could respond calmly. "I know what I'm doing, Elena." He'd been walking on eggshells around for too long, and he was tired of it. He knew he had hurt her, but in the end, he knew it was the best thing he could have ever done, for both of them. They were drowning as a couple. "I love her." He finished, a twinge of guilt pulling at him seeing the pain on her face.

Her eyes rolled as she glanced away. "You were in love with me too once. In fact, I remember you telling me that you wanted to be with me forever; you promised." She choked out, as tears clouded her vision. "Did you promise her the same thing? Is she going to turn for you? Because I don't really see you sticking around when she's old and grey. Is this even real, Damon? Or is Bonnie just a shiny new toy that you just had to have…like I was."

His eyes snapped up to hers with a hard glare. "I was trying to be easy on you, because I know that this has been hard to process…but let's get one thing straight." He stepped closer to her intimidatingly, but she held her ground tilting her chin up. "You don't get to weigh in on my relationship with Bonnie. I understand that you're angry with us, and you're allowed to be…but don't think for one second, that you can come into my house and question me about anything, especially how or who I love." His jaw clenched, and his eyes flared. "Yes, I loved you; and there was a time when I thought that I was never going feel that way about anyone else. But it was consuming and toxic, and in the end all we did was hurt each other. It wasn't good for either of us and I learned that, that kind of love…burns you from the inside out, until there's nothing left."

Elena blinked away her tears, swiping them off her cheeks. "Well…" she started in a quiet voice. "it's still burning for me, and…" she shrugged sadly. "I can't let you go."

He released a breath, his eyes dropping to the floor. "You have to."

She wept silently, her lower lip trembling. "Damon…" she reached out to him but he stepped back, just out of reach.

He met her eyes, and while they were filled with sympathy, they still held his fierce determination. "Thank you for the book, Elena." His words expressing the end of the conversation.

Elena sucked up her tears, fixing him with one last look as she headed for the door. As she passed the hallway, Bonnie was stepping back in her eyes filled with tears staring at her old friend apologetically. "Elena…I'm so sorry-"

The brunette held up a hand, letting her eyes close briefly. "Stop. I've heard all that before. You know what? You can have him…but don't hold your breath." She glanced back over her shoulder to pin a dead-eyed glare on her ex-lover. "He'll tire of you soon enough." The door slammed behind her and Bonnie brought her hands up to cover her face as Damon came over to pull her into a tight hug.

"She's never going to forgive me for this, is she?" she cried into his shoulder, clutching him like a lifeline.

He ran a soothing hand over her hair, kissing the crown of her head. "I don't know…" he answered honestly.

…

The next few days passed rather uneventfully, which was a blessing for Damon. It was bad enough that Bonnie was distant; not physically, but emotionally. He knew that Bonnie had heard Elena's words the other day; he could hear her shallow breathing from the other room. So, Damon waited. He waited for her to process it, and when she was ready, she would open up to him. That was how she worked – such a polar opposite of him. He was impulsive and spontaneous, he said what was on his mind without a second thought. Bonnie was different; she kept things to herself, mulled her thoughts over again and again to assure herself that she was making the right decision. The only time she broke that code was the night Damon showed up on her doorstep. Maybe his impulsiveness was rubbing off on her.

So, when she finally voiced her concerns one morning while in bed, he wasn't surprised. She rolled on her side to face him, trailing her fingers up and down his bare chest. "I've been thinking…"

Damon had to chuckle. Maybe it was the post orgasmic bliss or maybe it was because he could practically see the wheels turning in her head. "Oh yeah?" He rolled onto his side, brushing the hair out of her face lovingly.

Bonnie's green eyes melted through his, and he felt a flutter go through him. How was it that one look from her reduced him to a teenage boy – nervous but riddled with excitement. She was stunning in this light; her naked caramel skin was glowing, the sun beaming through the drapes and illuminating the rich chocolate strands of her hair. "Elena made a good point. I'm human…and I'm not getting any younger."

Damon smiled. "Well for the record, I'd still love you even when you are old and grey. I'll be there until the very end." The thought alone clenched his heart. In the span of a year, he went from being her tentative friend, to not being able to imagine his life without her in it. But as scary as that was, he'd never take away a human life from her for his own selfish reasons. He couldn't even imagine her as a vampire, and he didn't want to. She'd lose her powers as a witch, and that was such a core piece of who she was. He'd never let her sacrifice that, even if it meant he could have her forever.

She forced a laugh, and he knew it was to cover the emotions that rippled through her. "How am I supposed to be okay with that? Letting you waste thirty years of your life with some old biddy that can barely walk? That's not fair to you." She paused, dropping her eyes. "I think…I could turn…someday. I just want us to be happy."

Damon scooted closer to her, catching her hand and holding it to his lips. He hated that she was willing to give everything up just for him. But then again, so was he. "Bonnie…I am happy. Being with you, makes me happier than I've ever been. And I will gladly spend the next sixty or so years making sure you never forget that. I have been in love three times in my long life. Katherine was an obsession; I did terrible things for her – because of her. With Elena I was selfish…I wanted what I couldn't have and I nearly destroyed us both to get it. But with you…Bonnie, I want to be the kind of man that you deserve. The kind of man that wouldn't force you into a decision that could alter your life for my own selfish reasons. You make me want to be the kind of man that can give you all the things in life that you want." His eyes darted over her face adoringly, watching the curious squint of her eyes and the small tilt of her head. Damon released a nervous breath. "I've been thinking too…" He turned, reaching into the nightstand, rummaging to the back and carefully pulling out a box. Bonnie gasped, recognizing it immediately.

"Where did you get that?" she demanded breathlessly.

He smirked. "Remember that 'time out' we took in the prison world? We were fighting and I took off for a few days. You were nagging me relentlessly about giving up hope on us ever getting out, and while I loved the optimism, I was terrified of what leaving that place meant." He explained softly resting the box between them on the bed. His fingers traced the intricate detail carved into the wood.

Bonnie swallowed thickly. "What do you mean?"

"I was already in love with you, Bonnie." He said as if it was obvious. "And I think a part of me knew that it was wrong to go back to Elena and try to make it work when my heart wasn't in it anymore. But I felt like I owed her the chance to start over…even if it was without me." He sighed. "So, I got in the car and headed for Nova Scotia."

Bonnie blinked. "So, you're going to give it to Elena?" She couldn't hide the disappointment that seeped into her tone.

He nodded. "I think I have to. It's the right thing to do. But once she's human…I want to take it from her." He confirmed confidently.

She sat up, holding the sheet to her chest as she looked down on him. "Damon this is a huge commitment. There's no going back once you take the cure. Are you sure you want to do this?"

He sat up with her with an easy smile. "100 percent." He chuckled, biting down on his lip. "A few days ago, I saw this couple; they must have been in their late sixties. And she was on his case about things; I could tell that he was annoyed but he just nodded along. At first, I thought, he must be miserable, but then he wrapped his arms around her, he kissed her cheek and in the middle of the parking lot he spun her around in a circle and they danced…like it was just the two of them. And I could just tell…that they loved each other their whole lives." His blue eyes met hers, full of promise and devotion. "I realized that, if you're going to grow old, then I want to be right there with you. I want to give you children, and grandchildren, and spend the rest of my life making memories with you. If that's what you want…" He was suddenly nervous about her answer, even as tears slipped down her cheeks.

She rolled on top of him, straddling his waist and leaning down so their noses were nearly touching. "There's nothing I want more." She sat up leaving him with a luscious kiss on his lips, and she stared down at him – her breasts naked above him and a heated gleam in her eyes. "You're serious…you want to be human with me? Because if you only doing this because you think it's what I want-"

He sat up, cupping her face gently but with a fierceness that sent a shot of electricity straight to her core. "It's what I want, Bonnie. I'm not going to change my mind, or have any regrets. I'm not going to resent you twenty years down the road whenever things go wrong. Part of me will miss this life; being a vampire, living forever…but what's the point if I'm not doing it with my best friend?"

Bonnie let the beaming grin pull on her lips, and she crushed her mouth down to his passionately. She was always the one that seemed to stand just out of reach of the things she wanted. She was always the one to make the sacrifices for the people she loved, and she was fully prepared to hide her feelings for Damon forever if she had to, because the last thing she wanted was to hurt her friend. But Bonnie was tired; tired of being the one on the outside looking in, tired of breaking her own heart for the sake of her friends…tired of not knowing love. After the prison world, she was determined to put herself first, and the moment Damon finally told her what she longed to hear, Bonnie knew that she was on the cusp of something amazing.

Their story may not be epic in the way it was with Elena, or tragic like it was with Katherine, but it was uniquely theirs. It was a slow burn; they may have started off hating each other, but after years of working side by side they got under each others skin, and in the prison world they learned more about each other in that short time than he'd shared with anyone else. He trusted her with his life and she pulled out the best in him. They were a team – Damon and Bonnie complimented each other perfectly.

…

Elena's head rested on her open palm as she stared down into the bottom of her sixth – wait, seventh drink that night. Yup. She was drowning her sorrows like the sad jilted woman she was. Pathetic. She thought to herself. She heard the loud scrape of the stool beside her being pulled, but she didn't look up at the person who filled it, even thought she knew who it was. "Don't." she mumbled quietly; her eyes still focused on the amber liquid as she rolled it in the glass.

"Don't what?" he asked neutrally, leaning an elbow on the bar as he faced her.

Her tired eyes swung up to his. "Don't tell me that I'm better than this. That I should pull myself together and move on…I know that. Just not ready to do it yet."

Stefan reached over the counter and grabbed the bottle of bourbon and a glass, pouring one for himself. "I wasn't going to say that. Trust me, if anyone knows brooding, it's me." he clinked his glass with hers, and took a healthy gulp.

Her lips pulled in a tiny smile, and she took a sip along with him. He just sat there, as if he was waiting for her to make the first move and get everything off her chest. She had to hand it to him. Despite the fact that here she was pinning over his brother, Stefan was there for her…he always was. "I'm allowed to be angry, right? I'm justified in being bitter about the fact that my best friend and my boyfriend, fell in love with each other behind my back, right?" Stefan's eyes dropped to his glass. "I shouldn't be talking to you about this." She mumbled to herself.

He looked back up and met her eyes. "I'm exactly who you should be talking to about this. I know how you're feeling, Elena because three and a half years ago I was in your shoes. And you were in Bonnie's…" Elena glanced away as it suddenly hit her. "You weren't in control of what you were feeling and as hard as you tried, and as deep as you buried it, you were still in love with Damon…even while you were with me." He explained to her calmly and without malice. Speaking about that time didn't hurt him as much as it use to. "Look, Elena, of course you are allowed to be angry…but there comes a time when that no longer serves you."

She nodded, tears filling her eyes. "How did you do it? How were you able to move on with your life without hating us? Without being filled with jealousy every time you saw us together? Because…" she shook her head. "I don't know if I can."

"One day at a time." He placed his hand over hers. "Ultimately…at the end of the day, I wanted you to be happy, even if it wasn't with me. And Damon – well, for a long time, he sat back and watched me get everything he wanted; our father's respect, Katherine, you…" he shrugged a shoulder. "I didn't want to take that from him. It won't be easy. It's going to sting, and there will be days when you feel like it's better to just turn it all off. But you fight it. And one morning you'll wake up and realize that it's over…and you can start the next chapter of your life."

They sat in silence as she digested his words. Elena knew why she was so reluctant to let go; because she was afraid that if she did, if she stopped fighting, then it was truly over. She would have to accept the fact that he was happier with someone else – Bonnie, and there was no hope of fixing things fifty years down the road. The Damon door would be closed forever. "Thank you, Stefan. I don't know what I'd do without you."

"You'd be a mess." He joked, finishing off his drink, and it brought a genuine laugh from her throat. "Hey…it doesn't have to be today, or tomorrow or even this month. But you should find it in your heart to forgive them. Not because they need it…but because you do."

…

Elena took Stefan's advice and she slowly started the process closing the 'Damon door'. She began removing everything that reminded her of him; the black v-neck she ripped off him under Silas' mind control, the row of snapshots from the photo booth at the carnival, the photo from her eighteenth birthday. It all went in a box – out of sight out of mind, she thought. But almost by some cruel twist of fate she felt her stomach drop as her head snapped to the door. He was on the other side…she could feel it, she picked up on his scent like a bloodhound.

Dropping the picture into the box she slowly walked over, wondering why he hadn't knocked yet. She decided to bite the bullet for both of them. "I know you're there…you can come in." she said softly, a slight waver in her voice. There was a pause before the door knob turned, and she turned quickly, busying herself with tucking the box under her bed, and fixing the duvet. When she turned back, he was closing the door behind him, eying her cautiously. She ran a hand through her hair. "What are you doing here?"

He rocked on his heels, his hands flexing at his sides; a nervous habit of his. "I wanted to apologize. I was harsh the other day and you didn't deserve that."

Elena blinked. "Oh…okay. Thank you." She wasn't expecting that.

His hand reached into his back pocket. "And…I have something for you. Something I probably should have given you months ago. Here."

Damon passed her the small box, and she reached for it apprehensively. Her eyes widened when she cracked it open. "Damon…how? Where did you get this? I thought the cure died with Silas."

He offered her a lopsided smile. "It did. But…cure still exists in 1994."

A frown creased her brow. "You've had this since you got back? And you didn't tell me?"

"So much had happened; with Liz and then Caroline and Stefan…it just wasn't the right time." He continued on before she could respond. "I know you never wanted to be a vampire, and I may not have been able to give you what you want, but I can give you this…and I think you should take it." Damon watched her roll it around in her hand in amazement and sucked in a breath. "I just have one favor to ask."

Her eyes snapped up and she knew immediately what it was. Her heart broke again. "You want to take it too." He had the decency to wince at the strain in her voice and his silence was answer enough. "You want to be human? You said you couldn't think of anything more miserable on earth. I practically begged you to take it with me and you walked away…" Tears collected in her eyes, and it made her even more furious. All she'd done for the last six months was cry. She shook her head, trying to make sense of everything as a shaky sigh slipped passed her lips. "Wow…I got this all wrong, didn't I? Here I thought after everything we'd been through, after how hard we fought, that we deserved to have a happy ending together. But it shouldn't be this hard, should it? Come to think of it, I don't remember a time that we didn't have to fight every obstacle that got between us. It was always something…"

"I know…I tried, Elena, I really tried to be the man you wanted me to be, but I think we both got so caught up trying to be what each other wanted that we forgot be ourselves." He let out a deep sigh. "And I can't live like that anymore."

Her lips twisted as she nodded in agreement. He wasn't wrong. She knew she had lost who she was somewhere along the way, but she tried to justify it by telling herself that she was happy with Damon and if that meant bending her morals then so be it. "And…you can be yourself with her?" Elena asked weakly.

Damon nodded. "She knows who I am and she doesn't try to change that." Elena bowed her head. That was always something they fought about; she expected him to be better and he would always argue that he was not Stefan. "I loved you, and a part of me always will, but I'm not the same person I was before I died…and neither is Bonnie. We never meant to hurt you, it just happened."

"I know…" she shifted her weight. "Stefan said something that really put things into perspective for me. I forgive you…both of you." She saw the weight fall off his shoulders and the relief on his face. "Not for you, but for me…so I can move on."

He gulped; his eyes furrowed gratefully. "Thank you."

She exhaled a sharp breath. "You're welcome. Here…" she tossed him back the cure as his face pulled in confusion. "Take it. Be happy with Bonnie…"

"But I thought you wanted this?"

"I do. And sixty or so years from now I'll take you up on it. Honestly...I've kind of gotten use to the whole vampire thing." She smiled meeting his eyes. "It's time for me to start a new chapter of my life…get out of Mystic Falls, see the world. Just…keep it safe for me when I get back." She whispered; her voice strained.

Sadness rolled over him as her intention became clear. She wasn't planning on sticking around to see it play out. Elena didn't want to be around to see him live a human life with Bonnie and he couldn't blame her. But it still hurt. "I will." He promised, and slowly, he pulled her into a tight hug that said everything they couldn't. Thank you, goodbye…I'll never forget you. She kissed him on the cheek, and he kissed her forehead, and with a nod, Damon left her dorm room.

Elena thought she'd cry; break down and mourn the loss of the man she thought would be the love of her life…but she didn't. She let him go, and she knew in her heart that she'd be happier for it.

…