Don't Give Your Heart to Me – Part III

Song Inspiration: Half a Man – Dean Lewis

And now I'm stuck in this hotel room by a cold neon light
And I've been waiting for an answer, but it won't come tonight
And every bottle I have stolen lay shattered on the floor
What's broken can't be whole anymore

But how am I supposed to love you when I don't love who I am?
And how could I give you all of me when I'm only half a man?
'Cause I'm a sinking ship that's burning, so let go of my hand
Oh how can I give you all of me when I'm only half a man?

…

Stefan was a healthy distraction. Damon spent most of his days down in the cellar, trying to pull some kind of emotion out of his brother. First, he started with anger; didn't work. Next, he went with pain, torturing him with vervain; nothing. Then, jealousy. This was what was slowly getting to him.

Damon sat backwards on the metal chair facing Stefan tossing an apple back and forth between his hands. "Oh…I forgot to tell you. Elena – you remember Elena, right?" he snarked as Stefan rolled his eyes disinterestedly. "Well, it looks like you aren't the only Salvatore she cares about anymore." His brother just blinked, his face stoic. "Yeah, a lot has changed since you've been gone baby bro. I guess without you around she was able to finally allow herself to feel something for me."

Stefan chuckled. "Maybe…but it's not love."

Damon let himself smirk internally at his progress. It wasn't much, but it was something. "Not yet."

"Fine." He shrugged. "Go for it…have my sloppy seconds."

"Oh, I already have, brother." Damon took a bite out of the apple. "Mm, all that built up sexual tension just exploded out of her. I had no idea she was such a little spitfire; she does this thing with her tongue that-"

Stefan cut him off. "Is this supposed to be working? I don't care that you fucked her Damon…" he smirked. "We all know you like to try out my toys."

Damon shrugged. "You're right…I just can't resist." He leaned forward conspiringly. "You know what I don't get…how do you?"

"What are you talking about?"

Damon blowed by the question, continuing on chummily. "I mean, there it is pulsing in your face every day…just begging for you to take a bite; honestly it must be torture for you. But what can I say…I have impulse control issues." He smirked. "At first, I thought she'd fight me a little harder, but mmm-mm…" Damon's eyes pierced through his brother wickedly. "She was delicious…and she loved it." He jumped up with a laugh as Stefan shot forward from his chair, but the ropes held him back. "Ooh, someone's feisty."

The younger Salvatore snarled, the veins under his eyes going black. "You fed on her?!"

Damon feigned innocence. "I'm sorry…does that bother you? Does that make you mad, Stef? How about jealous? Do you hate me?" He could see Stefan struggling with himself, and his words softened. "Or are you sad because the love of your life gave up on you?" Stefan turned his head away, a deep frown furrowing his brow. "Let it all in. Rage, anger, pain…let it all in brother." Damon coaxed as Stefan fought through the tears in his eyes. He crouched down in front of him. "I never touched Elena…" Relief released from Stefan's tense shoulders. "But she is pretty confused right now about what she's feeling. It's time to come back, Stefan…prove to her that there is still some part of you in there that she loves. Or you might lose her for good." Damon clapped a hand on his knee and stood, sauntering to the door.

"Damon…" Stefan waited until his brother faced him. "Thank you."

Damon smiled. When he got upstairs, Elena was waiting. "You're boyfriend's back." She looked towards the stairs; her eyes wide.

She smiled, relieved. "How did you do it?"

"Jealousy is a strong emotion." He stated simply.

"Thank you, Damon."

He rocked on his heels as he wrestled with himself. Did he ask her? Would she know? Would he be giving himself away if he did? Fuck it. "Have you uh…have you heard from Bonnie?"

She seemed surprised but nodded. "Yeah, actually I'm meeting her for coffee later. Why?"

His hands flexed at his sides; a nervous habit from when he was a kid. Since when did he get nervous? "Just…haven't seen her since the Jeremy incident. She okay?" He did his best to act impartial, distracting himself by heading to the bar to pour a drink.

"Oh, that." she breathed a laugh. "Yeah, she's fine. The whole thing was big a misunderstanding. I'm sure they'll be back together in no time." She said with a wave of her hand.

His jaw clenched. "Did she tell you that?"

Elena frowned. "No…not in so many words. But she loves him. They'll figure it out." She shrugged easily.

No, she doesn't. He thought to himself with a grumble. It wasn't until he heard Elena question him that he realized he'd uttered it under his breath. "Nothing. I'll give you two some time…make myself scarce." He expressed evenly. He needed to get out of here. Out of this house, out of this town…now that his biggest distraction was resolved, Damon suddenly felt like he was suffocating.

There was only one person he could stand to be around but she was off limits. He remembered stopping by her house only to find Caroline on the other side.

…

"I need to see her, Caroline." He pleaded tensely.

She pulled her sweater tighter around her. "She's not ready." He hung his head, and she could see the pain on his face. "Look, I know that you want to try and fix this – whether it's by getting back together or apologizing I don't know, but she needs time. You need to give her that."

He nodded, looking down at his feet. "Can you just tell her I miss her? Please?"

"I will." She promised softly, placing her hand on the edge of the door as she closed it slowly. "Goodbye, Damon."

He stalked off the porch, and risked a glance up to her room, and he felt a ripple run through him, when he saw the curtains shut quickly.

…

"So, what's going on with you and Jeremy?" Elena asked popping a piece of a muffin in her mouth. They sat at one of the patio tables outside the coffee shop, catching up. "I mean, under normal circumstances I wouldn't be asking for details on your relationship with my brother, but things have been awkward between you two lately."

Bonnie stirred her coffee, looking down into it. "He wants to get back together."

"Bon, that's great!" Elena smiled.

The witch's eyes darted up. "Yeah, if that's what I wanted. But I can't trust him…not after what he did. I can appreciate that he made a mistake and he wants to make up for it but…I'm way passed that now." After the last few months with Damon, being with Jeremy felt like a lifetime ago, and her feelings felt like a silly crush in comparison to what she felt for Damon.

Elena frowned. "Then what has you so down?"

Only being stupid in love with the man you have wrapped around your finger. "I guess I just hoped I'd get my happy ending, you know?" she said instead.

"Oh, Bonnie…" Elena grabbed her hand over the table. "I've been a terrible friend…I've been so caught up in my own drama that I haven't been there for you. I'm sorry." She sympathized, giving her friend's hand a squeeze.

It was hard for Bonnie to hold a grudge when she looked at her like that. It's not like she knew the truth, and even if she did, it wouldn't change anything; it wouldn't change that Damon was still in love with her best friend. "It's okay...I'm sure you've had your hands full; you know, with Damon and everything." She tried to say casually.

Elena smiled. "Actually…I have some good news. Damon triggered Stefan's switch this morning. He's pretty shaken up, and he has a long way to go, but things are finally starting to look up." She caught the time on her phone and started packing up. "Shit…I got to go, sorry. I have to hit the butchers before they close. Stefan isn't up for hunting just yet." She whispered the last part under her breath. "Are you okay here?"

Bonnie nodded, forcing a smile, and her friend rushed off with a squeeze of her shoulder. When Elena was out of sight, she finally let her shoulders slump and rested her head in the palm of her hand. Being around her lately was utterly exhausting; pretending like she was okay, trying desperately not to ask her about Damon, holding back the bitterness she felt when talked about her conflicting feeling about him and his brother. It was literal torture. The only reprieve was being able to bitch about it to Caroline, who had surprisingly taken it very well.

.

"He asked about you again." Caroline said as she put on her make up at Bonnie's vanity. She looked at her friend through the mirror; she was laying on her bed, staring at the ceiling. "He misses you."

"Please don't." It was hard enough that she had to watch him leave her porch not even half an hour ago.

Caroline swiveled in the chair. "All I'm saying is maybe you should hear him out. What if wants you back?"

Bonnie sat up, crossing her legs in front of her. "He doesn't…he just feels guilty. I told him I loved him Caroline…and he said nothing. He just stood there. Like a deer in headlights. I've never seen him look more horrified."

"Well, it's kind of a big deal, Bon. It's not like you were talking about the weather. So…what are you going to do?"

"I don't know…kind of in avoid mode right now. I feel like if I so much as look at him I'll break." She fell backwards on the bed and grabbed the pillow, burying her face in it. "I hate this!" Came her muffled voice.

.

Caroline said she needed time, so that's what he gave her, and he took it for himself too; which really meant he spent a week drinking himself stupid in a hotel room on the outskirts of town. Mostly because he knew he wouldn't be able to stop himself from trying to see her. Mystic Falls was full of reminders of Bonnie and Elena, and right now he needed to cleanse his mind of both of them. With Stefan back, she was sure to be at the boarding house more and he was still feeling the whiplash from her emotional rollercoaster.

Bonnie's words in the woods kept replaying over in his head. I love you, Damon. I love everything about you…even this part. And I'm not telling you because I think it will make you chose me, but because I think you should know that someone does…even if it's not who you want it to be. It was probably the single most beautiful thing anyone had ever said to him, and like an idiot, he stood there gapping at her as she poured her heart out at his feet. She loved him, she picked him of all the people in the world more deserving, and he couldn't understand why. Damon was a loose cannon, impulsive, destructive…and had more than a few deep-rooted insecurities that were the cause for many of his toxic qualities. He drank too much; he was cynical and bitter. He never got what he wanted, and he didn't even think he'd deserve it if he did. He was a sinking ship that was burning, and the last thing he wanted was to bring her down with him.

Because while they had a lot in common, they were also polar opposites. She was bright, and positive and brave. She lit up the room when she walked in and the look in her green eyes when they fixed on him never seized to make him smile.

He had to talk to her. He had to explain himself.

So, the following week on a Friday night, he sought her out, determined. She was with the whole gang; Caroline, Matt and Jeremy were sitting with her at the table and Elena and Stefan were over by the pool table. He didn't care. He walked towards the table, and Caroline whispered to Bonnie causing her to glance up in surprise.

"We need to talk, Bon." He said softly focusing only on her.

Her eyes darted around uncomfortably. "Now's not a good time." She hissed lowly.

He rested his palms on the table, tilting his head to meet her eyes. "I'm not taking no for an answer." His words were gentle but firm.

"Leave her alone, Damon…she said no." Jeremy puffed up, standing to his full height.

Damon glared him down. "Funny, coming from you. Now back off before I do something I regret."

Caroline glanced around noticing that their friends had picked up on the ambush, and Stefan was tuning in. "Maybe do this outside?" she suggested.

Bonnie stood up grabbing his arm and pulling him out the front door. "What are you doing? Are you trying to make a scene?"

"If it'll get your attention, yeah. You needed time, and I gave it to you." His eyes darted between hers. "Now it's time to hash some things out."

She crossed her arms. "Well, I'm not ready for that."

"When will you be?" He pressed.

"I don't know! You can't just ambush me while I'm out with my friends. I'm trying to move on, okay, and feeding me excuses or apologies isn't going to make it any easier."

"Bon, just hear me out." He almost begged.

"I can't." she exclaimed her voice wobbling with barely contained emotions. "Damon, it's taking everything in me to keep it together right now." Tears shimmered in her eyes and he reached for her instinctively but she stepped back. "Please…just leave me alone, okay." She turned and stormed back in the Grill, hoping he'd get the hint but instead he followed her back in.

"I love you, Bonnie." He called out to her, stopping her dead in her tracks. Those that didn't know them, didn't pay too much attention, but those that did stared on in shock. Bonnie turned; her eyes wide and her breath hitched in her throat when they fixed on him. Damon took three slow steps toward her, ignoring everyone around them as he continued in a hush tone for only her to hear. "I should have told you that night, but you floored me; for once in my life, I was completely speechless." His lips curled up in a tiny nervous smile. "So, there it is…my heart in your hands, Bonnie Bennett." He sucked in a deep breath and bounced lightly on his feet, feeling terrified that she'd reject him. Second went by, but it felt like minutes. "Please say something." He grabbed her hand and held it to his chest.

She swallowed; her heart hammering against her ribcage. "Everyone is staring." She mumbled in a stunned trance.

He smirked, bringing a hand up to cradle her neck. "I don't care."

Bonnie held back a smirk of her own. "We're in public."

Damon shook his head. "I don't care." His smirk split into a grin as he crushed his lips down on hers passionately, and she gripped his shirt holding him closer as she melted into him.

Jeremy stood abruptly, and Caroline's hand snapped up to yank him back to his seat. "Sit down." She bit out sassily between clenched teeth.

Stefan's brow deepened into a confused furrow. "What…is happening?"

Elena's lips tightened into a thin line. "Your guess is as good as mine." She grumbled back, watching on with a pang of jealousy that she was thankfully able to hide from her boyfriend.

It wasn't lost on Caroline though, and with a sly grin, she turned in her chair to look at Stefan. "Damon and Bonnie have been scandalous sex…" her eyes swung to Elena. "For months."

Stefan laughed. "Well, I did not see that coming." Elena's shocked glance darted up to Damon and Bonnie as everything started to make sense.

Bonnie pulled away, still tasting him on her lips gazing up at him in a daze. "Get me out of here." She whispered wantonly, and with a chuckle, Damon threw an arm around her shoulder, pulling her tight into him as they walked out of the Grill without even a glance back.

…

They stumbled through the door of the boarding house, their lips and hands never parting as they peeled their clothes off leaving a trail up to his room. As they walked into his room, Damon lifted her with one arm wrapped around her waist and slowly laid her out on his bed.

Her hair was fanned around her like a sea of black silk and he hovered over her, supporting himself with one arm. Damon trailed his finger tips over her face, catching her plumb lower lip on the way down. "I'm the last person you should be giving your heart to, but I promise…I won't make you regret it." He vowed softly.

Bonnie smiled up at him, and he felt warmth wash over him. "There are a lot of things that I regret…but loving you isn't one of them."

Damon swallowed thickly, staring down at her adoringly. She was a light in his sea of darkness, and he couldn't believe he hadn't noticed it sooner. Or maybe he had, but he was so terrified of losing what little happiness he found that let it create a shadow of doubt.

He'd had it all wrong. He was sinking…but she was the one that pulled him to the surface; she was his breath of fresh air. Damon thought that he was half a man before her…but it was Bonnie that made him whole.

…

AN: Thank you everyone for all the response on this three-part story! It makes me so happy to see you guys commenting and appreciating my writing. I'll be back for more one shots and potentially other two or three part stories, although I do need to jump back to some of the others I have on the go for my Delena pairings. It's hard when I love Bamon so much now lol! I would still like to hear if any of you have any song requests that you think would make a good story! I love your input 😊 - Vanessa