At the end of our beach day, I rounded up my pokemon (by which I mean most of them came willingly and then I tricked Hope and Faith into racing back to the Pokemon Center) and we strolled through the warm Sunyshore night, tired and slightly sunburnt but full of joy. Faith and Hope raced upstairs, nearly knocking over a man in a brownish suit in the process.

"Mahogany," Faith yelled back at me.

Oh. "Hey. Sorry about that," I said to Looker.

"No worries," he said, straightening back up. "Do you have a minute?"

I told most of my pokemon to go ahead – Def volunteered to stay behind with me – and Looker and I sat down in a corner of the lobby.

"Nothing too urgent," he said, placing his folded trenchcoat on the coffee table in front of us. "Just a few updates."

I nodded.

"Galactic is currently in the process of rebuilding the Red Chain and Galactic Bomb. They likely have all the materials, including the remainder of the energy sapped from Sunyshore. All that's left, aside from hunting down the Spear Key and Lake Trio, is finishing the actual production processes. Specifically, the intel I've obtained states that admins Charon and Neptune are in charge of production, while the others are focusing on strengthening their teams."

I nodded, narrowing my eyes. That was expected, given how easily Galactic's three main fighters went down last time. "Any word on Neptune's identity?"

"None. Evidently he's extremely low-profile, even within Team Galactic at large. I've gathered that he must be technologically talented, given the projects he's working on, and you said the grunts at the Snowpoint Temple called him a he."

I frowned. "That makes sense… Why's he so low profile, then?"

"It is possible he just isn't one of their more forward-facing operatives."

"You know that's not it," I said.

"You're right. I'm leaving room for the possibility, but given that even Charon is more of a public figure within Galactic than Neptune is, there's likely a puzzle to be solved there."

I nodded. "Okay."

"There's also some bad news," said Looker.

Uh oh. "What is it?"

"Well," he said, hesitating. "Headquarters has gotten back to me about my terms of probation. Specifically, their terms of restitution."

"That… sounds like a good thing?"

"It should be." He paused. "Amongst those terms are a requirement that I start 'easing out of my usual external assistance'."

I blinked. I couldn't have understood that right. "By external assistance…"

"They mean you. And the others."

"Why?" I demanded. "And why now? Galactic… Galactic's getting stronger as we speak, and Dawn could have died last time, before they started their intensive training. What do they expect you to do on your own, teleport them to death?"

"They don't expect me to work alone; they just expect me to ask someone new for help."

Looker must have seen the horror evident in my face, because he quickly followed up with, "Don't worry; I'm looking for loopholes already. Not to mention, they don't expect me to stop asking you for help immediately. They just… want me to rely on you less."

"Why?"

"According to the officer I met with, you've become too high-profile. Three out of four of you reached the quarterfinals of the Lake Valor Tournament. You're no longer trainers who fly under the radar."

"But surely that's a good thing? That we're strong?"

Looker said quietly, "I suspect their real motivation is to remove me from trainers I've grown fond of."

I sighed, feeling myself deflate. "You're not supposed to have attachments."

"Right."

I stared at a potted plant on the coffee table. It was hard enough knowing that Looker would leave after his mission was complete – the idea that I'd stop working with him sooner than that… And my pokemon, several of my pokemon saw saving the world or fighting Galactic as positive motivations, we'd just talked about this today.

"As I said, though, I'm still hoping to find loopholes or other ways to continue involving you," Looker said. "Once I've located Galactic's production centers, for example, I would expect to ask you three for help again."

I continued distantly nodding like a pidgey, but then I realized–

"Us three?"

Looker was quiet.

"There's something else I need to tell you," he said softly.

My heart stopped. Did something happen to–?

"I know you didn't want to hear about him last time, but if it's all right, I'd like to give you an update now," Looker said.

"Okay," I said breathlessly.

"I talked to him recently, and… he's planning to return to Johto."

My brain short-circuited. That didn't… that didn't compute.

"But… But he's Mesprit's… You said he shouldn't…"

"Shouldn't, yes, but I never intended to force him to stay."

"Why is he…?"

"I… would guess the answer is more complicated than he was willing to disclose," Looker said slowly, "but he told me he wanted to finish earning eight badges in Johto."

I stared at him. Looker's eyes were sad. "I'm sorry."

I shook my head wordlessly, dizzily. What was there to say?

I hadn't realized there was a thread of hope remaining until it snapped.

"That's all I had to tell you," said Looker.

It took a moment, but I remembered to nod.

"I need to head out now. I'm late for a meeting. Please take care." He looked at Def. Def nodded at him. "I'll see you later, Lyn."

He picked up his trenchcoat – which looked like a familiarly blocky and flat package – and let his natu out. He vanished with a look of concern still lingering on his face.

Def looked to me. "Do… you want me to teleport us back to the room?"

I shook my head. "I need a minute."

Def waited half an hour as I sat there, head spinning.

There was a void in space that had been following me around. Sometimes it was out of sight. Sometimes it was so overwhelmingly present it felt like a part of me.

Now there was no one to fill it back in.

I stood up from the armchair. Def had been dozing off, but his eyes snapped back open.

"Ready?" he asked.

I nodded. I wanted to go to sleep.

My pokemon helped me get ready the next morning. It reminded me of him doing the same for me the morning of a tournament.

I'd dreamed of him again. In the dream, he showed up to my battle with Volkner and sat in the stands watching, and I couldn't focus and Volkner absolutely annihilated my team in six moves, and then afterwards he and I were both in the Pokemon Center trying to get our pokemon healed, and we both stood there as our pokemon got healed, not sure what to say because on a scale of sworn enemies to nothing at all to ex-partners in crime we didn't know where we stood, were we supposed to be cordial or mean or just silent? And when he got his pokemon back he went outside and flew away with Silver and I knew I would never see him again.

Needless to say, I did not wake up energized and ready to fight Sinnoh's top gym leader.

Def had filled everyone in on what Looker told me, which meant I didn't have to explain myself. I had two hours to get myself in fighting shape.

"Any suggestions on how to do that?" I asked my team.

"Didn't your favorite musician come out with new music?" Trust pointed out.

So I logged onto one of the computers in the lobby downstairs and downloaded the new single. Which was a banger, and which also contained the line, "Don't look for me; I'm just a story you've been told."

"Cause when we're gone, everything goes on."

I logged off. "Cool. Any other suggestions?"

"Sometimes people journal, right?" said Prom.

I went back to my room and pulled out the diary full of dates Looker had given me at the start of our second go-around. I flipped to a fresh page. Hope and Faith jumped on the other bed while I tried to figure out something to write.

For a while, the only words I could think of were "I miss him."

He's going back to Johto, I wrote. I guess it makes sense. The only gym leader he hasn't beaten is the one no one can beat, plus if he comes to Sunyshore, he risks running into me.

I wish he didn't feel the pressure of being loved. I feel bad for making him feel that way, if that's what it was. But I don't know what I could've done to alleviate that. Pretend to rely on him less? Maybe I should have just talked to my pokemon more instead.

How long does this last? It's been a month and a half, and I've only known him for six. What do I have to do, find someone to replace him? That feels so artificial.

Maybe him moving back will be good for me. So that I really think he's gone. Even though he's just as gone as he was before.

I don't think this is helping.

I closed the book. "Let's go eat breakfast," I said.

My pokemon and I headed downstairs and across town to a café near the gym. I ordered a mocha and a croissant and a variety of things for my pokemon. I wouldn't let Faith get the unlimited pancake stack out of fear she'd be too full for the battle, but we compromised on a stack of two, an actual number she could eat.

Coeur hopped onto the seat next to me. "How're you feeling?" she asked.

"Bad," I said honestly, giving a small snort of a laugh.

"Yeah. I guess I knew that." She paused. "If you're not feeling up to the battle, we can take care of it."

"I appreciate that." Then at least the trainers relying on me still had a chance of Volkner getting his shit together. "I'm hoping it won't come to that, though."

"Well, yeah, same here," said Coeur. "You've been working hard for this. Whether we win all together or with you in the backseat, it's still a result of the last month of training – or, really, the full six months this team's been training."

I smiled, scratching behind her ears. "Thanks."

I stared at my untouched croissant.

"I don't like feeling so vulnerable," I confessed. "I don't like that the thought of never seeing him again takes me out of commission. I thought I was doing well."

Coeur nodded. "Healing's nonlinear. The sadness comes and goes. I know Prom has his good days and his bad days, in terms of grief."

"That's different, though," I said. "His family was killed in a violent attack that left him scarred for life. Some boy stopped wanting to be friends with me."

"Grief is just grief. It's not logical. It just happens."

"Even if it sounds like I'm just being melodramatic?"

"Do you genuinely feel bad?"

"Yes."

"Then it's not melodrama. It's just feelings. This situation sucks and you're genuinely affected by it. You're not silly for that."

I looked across the table, where the void sat silently.

I miss you, I thought at it. I'm fighting Volkner today, and I'll scan the crowd in search of you, because despite everything I'll wish you were there. I hope you're doing well.

The void didn't acknowledge me, but for once I didn't expect it to.

"You know you don't need to help me feel better to be a valuable member of the team, right?" I said to Coeur.

"Oh, I know. I just see you sad and want to help. Besides," she said mischievously, "I already know I'm valuable. I'm a pretty good fighter, if I do say so myself."

I laughed out loud, which was jarring after the morning I'd had and the silent conversation we'd been holding. "Good, I'm glad you know that. I agree."

I bit into my croissant. My pokemon and I finished up breakfast and headed over to the gym a few minutes before it opened. The other trainers were waiting there. At 10 am I started getting nervous, but then Emily Wu spotted Volkner ambling down the road towards the gym.

Here we go.