(This chapter is a lot. CW for torture, dissociation, death)

I drifted through a sleep viscous as syrup.

After some time passed, I found myself returning to consciousness somewhere dark. I could feel myself upright, immobilized, my wrists somewhere above me.

Blinding light flashed in front of me. I winced, closing my eyes again.

"Finally! I thought you'd never wake up."

Jupiter. Bad. This is bad.

"Where am I?"

"Doesn't matter." Jupiter sounded much too excited to see me. "I've been waiting for this moment for a long time."

I reached out with my mind. "Coeur?" I said. "Trust? Prom?" Swapping to telepathy: "Def? Are you guys okay?" No one answered.

"What did you do with my pokemon?" I demanded.

"Nothing," Jupiter said defensively. "You're the one who went and battled til they were all unconscious."

I remembered the Pokemon Center's front desk being empty, the lobby deserted – how deep did this run?

"Why am I here?" I asked.

"I'm supposed to interview you or whatever," Jupiter replied. "The fun part is that when you don't give me the answer we want, this happens."

The world flashed. Bright pain shot through my nerves. I gasped.

And then it was gone, though the ends of my fingers still tingled.

"So, anyway," said Jupiter. "Give me a reason to keep that going, okay?"

I scanned my surroundings frantically. The area immediately around me was fully bare – concrete flooring, concrete walls.

"While you work on realizing there's no way out," Jupiter said, "let me tell you why you're here. You see, Evelyn, we haven't been sitting on our asses while you earned yourself a shiny little badge. We've been working, and we've been scheming, and we've been thinking to ourselves, 'Hm… why is it the same trainer foiling our plans, every single time?'"

My legs couldn't move, so I couldn't kick her–

"And the more we thought about it," Jupiter was saying, "the more we found details that just didn't line up. That you show up randomly to the Valley Windworks, the bike shop, Stark Mountain, all at just the right time to fuck up our plans. You know too much, you bring your friends, you beat us and then scurry off until the next time you can swoop in and foil us."

I looked up – the cuffs around my wrists were bolted to what felt like solid metal behind me. I tugged on them – no give. Nothing in reach of my fingers–

"But it's more than that," Jupiter said, grabbing my face to make me look at her. I flinched; her nails were sharp. "You knew how to navigate our HQ, even though you'd never been there before. You knew about the Orbs and the Spear Key. You knew Saturn's voice before you ever met him, and you recognized Cyrus in a crowd even though you've never met him. You severed our connection to the Red Chain after we'd already succeeded at capturing the Lake Trio."

"So," she said, digging her nails into my chin. "We easily could obliterate you here and now, but we could also ask really nicely: Who's been helping you?"

Panic shot through me. Looker, they don't know about Looker –

Jupiter let go. The world was suddenly alight with searing flame, and I clenched my teeth to keep from screaming out loud. "Quickly, now," said Jupiter. "We don't have all the time in the world."

My mouth was dry. "The – the other trainers from my hometown," I stammered.

"And?"

"And… and one from Johto. But he's leaving."

"And?"

"That's it."

Lightning tore through my limbs.

"Listen, you're doing this to yourself," Jupiter said softly – almost sympathetically. "The easy option is right there for you. Just tell me who's helping you out, and I won't have to do this."

She will, though, I realized. She wants to do this. She'll do this whether or not I sell out Looker.

Give her the easy information to buy yourself time.

"It's… it's the International Police," I said as slowly as possible.

"Agent name?"

"Archon," I said, picking the only other agent name I knew and then immediately feeling stupid.

My veins surged with electric fire.

"Right, clearly I'm being too nice. You have five seconds to give me a name other than Galactic Administrator Charon. Five, four, three, two–"

I braced myself.

Looker is just a code name. Give her the easy information.

"One–"

Every muscle in my body tensed with the surge of electricity. I could feel my arms trying to contract even though they physically couldn't. A small noise of pain escaped me.

"Let's try this again. Five, four, three–"

"Looker," I said, my jaw tight.

"Ahh, there we go," she said. "See? Easy. Imagine how easy the rest of our conversation can be. Now, let's move on to something we don't already know the answer to."

They know about Looker?

"Here we've got a cute little diary," Jupiter said, taking a book from a grunt on the side. I recognized it. "Interestingly, there's a calendar with some events marked in… but what's this? Some of the dates are exactly right, but others are slightly off. It seems like someone almost knew our plans, with an unusual degree of false certainty. Why's that?"

"The IP knows more than you think."

"Please," Jupiter said, rolling her eyes. "We all know they couldn't tie their shoes without a ten-year-old's help. Where did you get these plans?"

I shook my head. I don't think I can tell them that.

"Can I get something a little stronger, Luxray?"

Bright. A tearing pain, like my molecules were ripping themselves apart. I screamed.

"That Luxray was another weird thing," Jupiter mused while I tried to catch my breath. "Mars said you froze up when you saw it for the first time. Anyways, five seconds, four, three–"

I tried to prepare myself, but now it wasn't just electricity, it was Liana, and that cut through to a layer of me I thought I'd protected.

This isn't hard information either. There's nothing they can do with the knowledge of your time travel, or at least nothing they can't do to you already.

"It's not… it's not gonna sound believable," I warned Jupiter breathlessly, trying to recover from the electric fire in my muscles.

"Try me."

"Time travel. Looker gave me – the IP gave him – he gave me an app that let me time travel. I jumped from February back to September. I've fought you before."

"Luxray."

Thunder. I screamed in agony.

"It's true!" I choked out. "If you won't believe me, there's nothing else I can do!"

Jupiter was deep in thought. "No, I'm inclined to believe you," she said. "That actually explains a lot of oddities pretty concisely. Did the others travel with you?"

"Just me. And, uh, and Looker."

"Why didn't the others come with?"

I swallowed. "They were… incapacitated."

Jupiter nodded slowly. "Well. This is going well, wouldn't you say? Now. Since you've been there in person. Tell us how to reach Spear Pillar."

I froze. This wasn't information I could give without actively helping them.

"I don't know."

"Shame. Luxray."

Electricity surged through my veins. My forearms felt bruised, somehow.

I can't tell her this. I refuse.

Jupiter counted down from five, as if it would make a difference. When the lightning stopped, she said, "Come on now, you answered the other questions so easily. Just tell me where Spear Pillar is."

I shook my head. Lightning, immediately.

Can't you tell her this?

No. Not without putting our world at risk.

They'll find it anyways.

Not without the Spear Key. I won't help them do it faster.

When the next bout of electricity finished, I felt a stutter in my chest.

Tell her! Evelyn, you could die!

I'm not telling her.

Evelyn, is that really worth it?

If it's me or the world, I choose the world.

"–two, one."

Every nerve fiber was on fire, my muscles tight, my bones sore, especially the bones in my arms. Increasingly my arms. Arceus, my–

I felt a splitting crack in my forearm, followed by the worst pain I'd ever felt. I didn't know until this moment that you could literally see stars.

"Let's check in," Jupiter said as I cried out. "It's just the location of Spear Pillar. I'm sure you're willing to let me know."

Wordlessly, I shook my head. When the electricity returned, I felt my arm bend in places it shouldn't have, accompanied by an agonizing gush of pain.

Here, said a new voice. Let me help.

I felt the world grow distant, as if I'd separated from my body and was looking through a third-person perspective. Evelyn looked like she was having a bad time. My sympathies went out to her.

If your heart stops, this won't help, said the voice. But if you're determined not to tell, then this will help you feel less of what happens to you.

Is this cheating? I wondered, watching Evelyn scream as electricity coursed through her body. Shouldn't I have the willpower for this? This seems like giving up.

It's not cheating, it's a coping mechanism. Sometimes this is what willpower is. Doing whatever it takes to enact your will.

I nodded. I saw Evelyn nod, which confused Jupiter, who couldn't sense the Being of Willpower helping me through.

To be fair, I think it would have reached this point eventually, whether or not you gave her the location.

I can't say I didn't feel anything. There was still a distant sense of pain, because this wasn't magic, and I wasn't literally outside my body. But the whole point of this, I understood, was to muffle the feelings of the outside world. The world I had retreated to was softer, the lights a little dimmer, the sounds quieter. It just didn't mean I wasn't also in the real world.

So I watched. I watched my heart stop twice, briefly, before the next zap restarted it. I watched Mars' luxray stalk away, eventually, Jupiter yelling at her, and there was a flash of pride in knowing that although Liana was fierce, she was a fighter at heart, and she'd decided this was no fight. And then I retreated into myself again as Jupiter pulled out new pokemon and means of persuasion to try and extract from me the location of the end of the world.

Every now and then, the world faded from fuzzy to fully black, as my body passed out to save itself a little. I think that's supposed to happen when you're in pain, which I wasn't, because I was mostly in another world. But it did prevent some of the damage Jupiter could have done, so it wasn't totally useless.

I watched. I waited. I did not hope. There was no use for hope at the moment. There was no use in worrying about anyone else – whether Galactic had captured them too or if anyone was coming or if anyone even knew where I was. No use. I won't think about that. Not now.

And then at some point, I came to from a bout of unconsciousness, and Jupiter wasn't there. Mars was.

"I'd like to think Jupiter isn't fully incompetent," Mars began, "but now that she's clearly had her fun, it's time to talk business."

I drifted back towards the real world– ow, holy fuck, no, go back, go back.

Mars let out two pokemon — one darkrai, one pokemon I recognized vaguely as Unovan pink balloon. "Hypnosis," she commanded.

And I descended into sleep.

Liana's shoulders heaved up and down. Cuts laced her body, black fur long since congealed with blood.

Quasar lowered me to the ground in his talons. I hit the ground running, recalled him and quickly spotted Lucas running in the same direction.

Lucas, outlined in pink over my head, blood running from his mouth.

A small figure, translucent and glowing blue, floating in front of me at Lake Valor.

"Everyone freeze!" Jupiter roared, and only then did I realize she had an arm around Dawn's head, a knife to her throat.

Thomas tilted his head. "Are you okay?"

Looker and I entering Mount Coronet from Oreburgh City, bag full of supplies.

I just kept crying because I could, and because I hadn't, and because I needed to. And when I was done, I opened my eyes to a pink lake.

Several days of climbing and camping and traversing caves, managing to reach the first Galactic Grunt. Emmy sweeping his mainly-poison team easily.

I tentatively linked my arm through Megan's and squeezed, just for a moment. She kept holding on when I tried to let go.

Snowflakes and Dawn's fingers tangled in Lucas's hair.

Tricia came back outside. I was reaching for a hug even before she got there. I held her tight.

"I already promised Dawn I'd dance with her," Lucas said. "I'm sorry."

Thomas, staring at the floor. "There's no reason for you to stick around."

In the front window of a café, Tricia sitting with Maya, looking sadder and more serious than I'd ever seen her.

Navigating the cave system of Mount Coronet by following the trail of grunts.

"Here," Thomas said abruptly, walking closer in the frigid night. "Dance with me."

I threw my good arm around Dawn. "I'm glad you're okay," I said into her shoulder, voice turning thick suddenly.

Megan's head fell onto my shoulder. A warm softness bloomed in the center of my chest.

Trust collapsed. I ran to my starter and scooped him up. His blood was everywhere.

Megan turned to look at me, and suddenly I realized how close our faces were. She smelled like lavender and a fruit I couldn't quite place.

Reaching the ruins – a cave temple, obscured by the snow, near the peak of Mount Coronet. Looker pulled me aside before I fought Mars and Jupiter.

"Lyn, I trust you," Looker said seriously, "but if anything happens, use this app."

"What's it do?"

"Time turns back. You find yourself in Twinleaf Town on the day you received your pokemon."

I drifted back toward the waking world. A pink cloud with the hazy image of Looker at Spear Pillar dissipated in front of me. Somewhere in my groggy brain was a trivia fact about the pink balloon pokemon being able to see dreams.

"Interesting," Mars said. "Well. This has been worthwhile, hasn't it?"

My aching body granted me relief from the waking world – I slipped back into unconsciousness.

When I awoke next, everything hurt. I was alone, but I could hear shouts and crashes coming from somewhere in the building.

"Guys, she's awake!"

"Evelyn, we're on our way!"

I smelled smoke. Everything hurt.

I think I slipped out of consciousness for a moment, but when I came to, Trust was there, deftly ripping steel off my legs. Hope held up a protect around us while Def applied life dew anywhere he could reach. Outside the bubble, Faith took down a stray croagunk with hypnosis. Coeur was doing her best to keep me upright with psychic as Trust removed the cuffs on my wrists, his hands glowing white with fighting energy.

"I got you."

Thomas lifted me into his arms. I cried out as my broken arm came down; Trust lay it gently on my stomach. Something something a pokemon could have carried me instead but also I'm sure they had to fight.

"Thomas…" I whispered.

He looked older somehow, or maybe sadder. He'd cut his hair. He looked down at me with eyes full of despair.

"It's okay. We're getting you out of here," he said softly.

"…you're rescuing me again," I mumbled.

The sadness in his eyes deepened. "Shh. It's okay."

I faded out of consciousness.